All language subtitles for s08e17_-_house_of_blues_1080p_aius_en

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm making a photo album of our
first year together. Oh, look.

Here's you and me and Brian and Casey on
our wedding day.

And here's you and me and Brian and
Casey just after the honeymoon.

And here's you and Brian and Casey
carrying me over the threshold.

What are you doing?

That's it.

I'm not going through another year
without a picture of us alone.

Okay, you ready?

Here we go.

Smile.

Oh, hey, look, they're taking a picture.
Come on.

No, no,

no.

Roy.

cyber dating yet.

I'm thinking of answering this ad. Six
foot two, athletic doctor seeks loving,

affectionate mate. Let me translate that
for you, Cochran.

Six foot two. That means five foot five
in lifts.

Athletic doctor.

Flabby shut-in.

Seeks loving, affectionate mate.

Big time horndog.

There are honest people left in the
world.

Dear Dr.

Gorgeous, I'm a buff Uma Thurman
lookalike,

and I'm ready for my checkup.

Could you forget about it, Brian? We
can't afford it. No, but it was the

perfect house. Three bedrooms,
fireplace, a deck.

Yeah, way too much money. Let it go.

Well, I can't let it go. Joe and Helen
want us out of the house by Monday, but

there's no other decent rental on the
island.

Would you stop exaggerating? I mean,
what was wrong with that cute cottage on

Meadow Lane?

Nothing. Except we'd have to take care
of the 500-pound woman in the back

bedroom.

You're right. That other house is
perfect. I mean, flower boxes and a

porch swing. Built-in vanity with a
day-night dimmer.

Oh, well.

You're just a big girl, aren't you?

Hey, everybody.

I think it sure is a great day.

What's so great about it? Oh, well, the
sky is blue, the birds are a-thinging,

I'm having sex like a jackrabbit.

Wow. What's that set in your back?

No, no, with my girlfriend, Elise.

Elise?

Is that still going on? Sure is, baby.

You're kidding.

I mean, that is... Why, why, why is it
so hard to believe that a beautiful

woman like Elise could fall for a guy
like me?

Because your last girlfriend was a troll
and she dumped you.

She wasn't a troll.

She lived under a bridge and had a
beard. What would you call her?

Well, I don't care what you think.

As I said to Elise this morning when I
woke up at her apartment, you know, in

her arms, in her bed, I said, boy, we
sure had a lot of sex last night, didn't

we?

Antonio, we get it.

You're spending all of your time at
Elisa's. Wait a minute. So that means

that you're never home, doesn't it?

Right, and that's because we're having
girly. Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

But who looks out for your stuff, huh?
Who takes in your mail? Who waters the

plants? Sounds like you could use some
roommates.

Yeah, roommates.

Well, who would want to move into my
place? I only have a room for one bed.

And my bathroom is really just a toilet
with a courtesy drape.

Um, what exactly is a courtesy drape?

Actually, I was boasting. It's really
more of a thin sheet.

When the light hits it a certain way,
you might as well be on stage.

Uh, anywho, uh, Antonio?

We have got an extra bedroom in this
great new house we want to rent.

Why don't you just move in with us?
Yeah, it's a great house in a beautiful

neighborhood. Why don't you come and
take a look?

Well, I guess it might be nice to live
on a street where a car isn't on fire

every night.

What's the rent?

Fifty bucks less than what you're paying
now.

That plus what I'd save on rat poison
and gopher bait could add up to some

serious dough.

So, how do you want to celebrate our
first night living alone?

I don't know. Let's do something that we
couldn't do when Brian and Casey lived

here. Okay.

I know.

Let's get in the hot tub.

Well, what's so special about that? We
did that all the time when they were

here. Not in the nude.

Naked in the hot tub.

I can get my behind behind that.

Where are you going?

Upstairs to take off my clothes. Why go
upstairs?

There are no designated non-naked areas
anymore.

You're right.

From now on, it's all nude all the time.

You know, Brian, I have to admit,
getting Antonio to move in was a stroke

of genius. He's the perfect roommate. I
mean, quiet, clean, considerate.

Never ever here, huh?

You know, I was thinking we could turn
his room into a home gym.

No, no, no.

I've got big plans for that room.

Plans? What plans?

That room's gonna be my recording
studio.

What are you gonna record?

Sounds I make.

Antonio, what are you doing here?

What do you mean?

I live here.

Oh, no, you don't. You pay rent here.
You live at Elisa's.

Not anymore.

She dumped me.

Helen, what is with that apron? I
thought we agreed.

Nude, nude, totally nude.

Hey,

I am not making bacon naked.

Well, all right, but the second you're
done cooking, that apron comes off.

I don't have to fix my arm. I don't
think I was really living until I was

living nude.

Yeah, well, think about it. If it wasn't
for Brian and Kathy, we'd still be

trapped in our clothes, living the lie.

You know, we should really look into one
of those colonies for our next vacation.

They're all over the place. Oh. Okay.
Where would you like to go?

I don't know. I wouldn't mind being nude
in Europe.

Wait a minute, Joe. I don't mean to be a
flag waver, but see American nude first.

I'll get it. Oh.

Hey.

Hey, guys. What can I do for you? Hey,
we live in the neighborhood. I'm

Spencer. This is Judd.

Uh, Joe, maybe the boys could come back
later. Uh, yeah.

Guys, it's really not a good time right
now. Yes, it is.

See, we've got something you might be
interested in.

We were working on our astronomy project
for school, and we were taking some

pictures of the sky, and, well, did you
know we saw a full moon last night?

Yeah, two of them.

Oh, my God.

It's pictures of us taking our hot tub
nude.

And us barbecuing nude.

And me cleaning the rain gutters nude.

Remember that. Yeah, you were in the
kitchen cleaning the oven, dude.

Okay, boys, we are going to tear these
up, and we're going to call your

parents. Okay, but I'd scan those
pictures onto my computer.

One push of a button, and you'll be
cruising buck naked down the Internet.

Unless... Unless... What?

We want to invite our friends over and
use your house for a party.

A make-out party.

Uh-huh. Well, I'll tell you what. If you
think that we are going to be

blackmailed by a couple of snot-nosed
little peeping toms, you're crazy.

That's right. You know, you're messing
with adults here.

Adults that are a lot smarter than you.

Hey, there's someone looking in your
window.

Thank you.

in a situation like this, Casey,
sarcasm.

Whoa.

Whoa, guys.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you
got a nasty stink on you.

Oh, great. Now it's on our clothes.

Roy, if you must know, it's garlic.

Antonio likes to cook when he's
depressed.

No, it's not so much the cooking that
bothers me.

It's not even that he lays around all
day in those ratty pajamas moaning and

wailing and sobbing. And rocking and
whimpering and blubbering. Not even the

thumb sucking or the drooling or the
self-mutilation.

It's the singing.

That same stupid song over and over
again. Their song, Cherish.

Oh, I like that song.

Cherish is the word I used to describe.

Sounded good.

We should sing a duet down at the VA
Hall on karaoke night. That's a great

idea.

Just what those veterans need, more pain
in their lives.

Ah, well, look who's here. Hey, you got
out of your jammies, buddy.

Well, you know you got to make an
effort.

Good for you. Glad to see you're back on
your feet.

Okay, okay.

There's enough self-pity.

I'm going to make it up to you. I'm
cooking dinner.

Actually, Antonio, I can't because I've
got a date tonight.

Really? I've got a date, too.

Oh, I see. You both have dates.

Okay, so what's fine for dinner?

Look, Antonio, can I just explain this
to you?

I haven't had a date in a really long
time.

In a really, really long time. So,
tonight,

please, I beg you, stay quietly in your
room.

Even if you hear me scream, don't come
out.

You have got such a cute place, Brian.

It's a lot cuter since you got here.

If you didn't have such a great smile,
that would be really cornball.

You know, Rhonda, if everything goes
well, we'll have a great story to tell

our grandkids. You know, when I first
laid eyes on your grandmom, she was

trying to stuff a coffee cake into her
purse without paying for it. Will you

stop? I just bent down to pick up my
keys. I was going to pay for it.

I thought I heard the bell. Won't you
come in?

Thank you, Casey.

Um, this is my roommate, Brian, and his
date, Rhonda. Hey. Hi, how are you?

Nice to meet you.

I brought you a little housewarming
gift.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Would you guys like to join us for a
drink?

Uh, sure.

Okay. Brian, would you please do the
honors? I gotta go finish getting ready.

I don't think you could look any
prettier.

Oh, hold that thought. I'll be right
back.

Uh, well, uh... I'll go crack this baby
open.

Rhonda, why don't you tell Tom the story
of how we met, huh?

It's really pretty funny.

I've never done this before, but I was
about to steal this coffee cake, and I

was... Sorry.

I didn't think there was anyone still
here.

Hi there. You must be Casey's other
roommate. No, no, no, no. I don't exist.

I'm not here.

I just came to get the TV guide.

There's a good movie on tonight.

Shattered Fatal Broken Promises.

Oh, here it is.

Hey, I've got to get this one. Look,
classic shows we all cherish.

Cherish?

Something wrong?

No.

No.

Are you sure?

Would you like to talk about it?

Can't.

Well, it's okay. You don't really have
to talk about it. My girlfriend...

In fact, it just happened to me three
months ago, right out of the blue.

You have to give yourself time.

Yeah, I'm still not over my old
girlfriend. We went out for six years.

I try dating other women, but it's
pointless.

Oh, what's the use? I'm not ready. I'm
just not ready.

Okay, Tom, I'm ready.

I can't.

It's just too soon.

I'm sorry, Casey.

Wait, where are you going? What about
our date?

What did you say to her?

Hey, here we go, everybody.

Antonio, what the hell are you doing
out?

Don't talk to him that way. Can't you
see he's hurting?

It's okay. I'm used to it.

You're supposed to stay in your room.

How did you move that bookcase?

him in his room?

Yeah, well, I've got just cause. He
stinks up the joint, he whines all the

time, and he's a huge pain in the ass.

Come on, Rhonda, let's get out of here.

I'm not going anywhere with you, you
insensitive creep.

Are you gonna be okay?

Call me in a day or two.

Wait, wait, Rhonda.

Rhonda, please.

Rhonda, Rhonda, wait!

What just happened here?

I'll tell you what happened. I said get
a deadbolt. You said, he'll never be

able to get past that bookcase.

That's what happened.

Hey, hey, listen.

I'm sorry about your evening.

Yeah, right.

Okay. Come on, Casey, let's go.

No, listen, listen.

If you feel that I'm to blame for this,
maybe I should be the one to go.

No, really.

Maybe I should just...

Pack up my things and move.

Seriously.

Maybe I should just clear out of here
and look for someplace else to live.

Fine. You've said enough. I'm out of
here.

He took off last night. We haven't heard
from him since.

Last night, huh?

Do you know that there was some pounding
on my door?

And some crying and some moaning. And I
heard a voice begging, please, please

let me in.

I'm desperate.

I have nowhere to go.

I figured it was the wind. I went back
to sleep.

Hi, Brian. Hi, Casey.

Antonio!

We are so sorry.

Oh, please. I should be thanking you.

Thanking us? After I left last night, I
drove around for a while. I ended up at

an all-night diner. And who should I run
into?

Elise. We talked for hours and we went
back to her place.

Now, if you two hadn't been so mean to
me and ticked me out, Elise and I never

would have gotten back together. So,
thank you. Oh, listen. You don't have to

thank us. We only want what's best for
you.

Oh, yeah.

Just one more thing.

Elise and I have decided to move in
together, so you'll have to find another

roommate. Oh, and by the way, the
microwave, keep it.

Cherish is the word I used to use.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

I give up.

We've been interviewing people for what?

For me?

Days? We are never going to find a
roommate in time. Face it, this is

hopeless.

Break over, let the sideshow continue.
Casey, who's next?

Is it Gogo, the dog-faced boy?

Hi. I'm here about the room.

Hi. Well, come on in.

I'm Casey.

This is Brian.

Matthew Evans.

Wow, this place is great. Thanks.
Listen, just a few questions.

Are you currently employed? Can you give
us references?

And do you have a steady girlfriend
where you can spend all your time?

Okay. I have a steady job.

I can send you references. And right now
I'm between girlfriends.

When can you move in?

As soon as possible. I'm staying at this
awful motel down at the wharf that just

washed in.

Oh, no. That place is horrible.

Oh, please.

That's why I'm willing to pay whatever
you want to get out of that place.

When can you move in?

Excuse me.

Sir.

Hi, Brian. I just came to pick up a few
things.

Oh, sorry. I didn't know you had
company. That's fine. That's fine.

Antonio, this is Matt Evans. He's here
about renting the room.

Oh. Oh, well, it's a great room. I'm
sure you'll love it. Excuse me.

So, Matt, how about a tour, huh? You
know, I think I know that guy.

Yeah, he's staying at the
just-washed-in.

Antonio? No, no, no. He lives with his
girlfriend.

I'm sure of it. He's across the hall
from me. Yeah, all night long, I hear

this wailing and weeping.

And all the cooking smells. My God.

Sometimes my eyes literally water.

Ryan, do you know what this means?

Antonio made that whole story up. He's
not back with me. No, no, no, no, no. He

didn't make anything up.

He's living with Elise.

They're happy. They're solid. Those two
kids are gonna make it. He's obviously

confusing him with someone else.

And this...

Stupid song you keep singing over and
over again.

Cherish. Hey, Matt.

Why don't you take a look at the
bedroom, huh? Yeah, right around there.

Oh, by the way, I've got season tickets
to the Celtics, so anytime you guys want

to go, let me know.

Oh, I like him, Casey. I like him so
much.

Yeah, well, so do I, but we can't let
Antonio go back to the just-washed-in.

Well, I guess that's everything, so I've
got to be going. See ya.

Antonio, look,

we were wondering if you could maybe
move back and live here with us again?

What?

No, I'm sorry. Lisa and I are doing very
well, thank you. Well, that's that then.

So long.

No, please.

Antonio, I mean, I know that we don't
deserve it, but you'd be doing us a

huge favor. We just...

Can't find anyone suitable to live with
that.

Would you guys mind if I paid you six
months' rent in advance?

Matt.

Matt.

I really don't think this is going to
work out after all.

But what? I thought that... Please.

Go.

Could I possibly change your mind if I
paid you an extra hundred bucks a month?

See what you mean? There's a lot of
losers out there.

Hey, hey, it's okay, bro.

Of course I'll stay.

Of course.

You know, I'll tell you the truth.

I think I can do better than Elise.

I've said it before and I'll say it
again. Women come and go, but friends

are the things we must always cherish.

Cherish is the word I used to describe.

Come on, Casey.

All the feelings that I have hiding here
for you inside.

I don't know how many times I've wished
that I was alone.

Hey, look.

There's a new Nantucket website.

Pull it up. Let's see what we got.

Look. Oh, look at that.

There are nude people.

My God, it's... Well,

them sure are some nice clean rain
gutters.