All language subtitles for S04E03 - Author, Author

Well, Bull's been at it for two hours.
That is, two hours of uninterrupted

drawing. Actually, it's only been 90
minutes, sir.

Oh, yeah, he did lose a half hour
getting the crayon box open.

Well,

he certainly seems to enjoy his work.

That or it's one of those Flintstones
flashbacks.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Bob.

Fool, fool, fool, fool, fool. What the
heck have you been sketching, you big

old post-impressionist lugget?

It's a cover illustration for the book
I've written.

The man wrote a book?

Elephant idea.

Manhattan City College is having a
children's book contest.

All the entries are going to be judged
by school kids.

How old are these kids, Bull?

Eight, nine.

Somehow the idea of writing for tiny
little undeveloped minds seems right for

me.

I don't think we need to embellish on
that.

The winner, whomever that tall,
shaven-headed man or woman

might be, gets a publishing contract.

Hey, so what did you draw for the cover?

A little ducky. Oh, I love little
duckies. There's Daffy and Daisy and

Donald and... Dr. Death.

About what, Bull? It could be so many
things.

My cover drawing was all wrong, so I
drew a new one.

Well, let's have a look.

What do you think?

Well, Bull, now, I'm no historian, but I
don't think that Duck took part in the

ancient Roman orgy.

Those suckers sure look happy, don't
they?

You're a morally bankrupt pervert! Lady!

I'm a normal American male.

You're three normal American males.

What's our problem here? I was violated.
Hey, I was just checking a pipe.

Mac? He's with the gas company, sir.

Keeping Tom charged.

And the lady is?

The pee-pee.

claims he was merely trying to check
Miss Brody's meter when she, quote,

shook her soapy, nude, glistening body
at me.

Read that back to me.

Dan, you saved me a copy.

Yeah, I know. I swear, this woman was
bouncing.

She's shimmying.

She even told me one of these.

Let the record show that the defendant
did.

He had his nose pressed up against my
window. Yeah, well, why don't you tell

him what you had pressed up against me?

All right, people.

What I've got here, I've got no
evidence. I've got no corroborating

testimony. I don't even have any
suggestion of criminal intent. So I

would like to write this one off as an
unfortunate incident. That is, if Mr.

Dobbs here can assure the court that he
has no past history of unusual sexual

behavior. My wife's from the old school.

Try to keep your eyes on your job.

I'll do my best.

That's all we can ask. Case dismissed.

That's it?

That was fun while it lasted, though,
huh?

Well, I guess it's obvious there's no
place for propriety in this day and age.

You have the time.

Time for what?

You know, I've been undressing you with
my eyes.

Lucky for me, I've got clean shorts on.

Ever fool around at work?

No. I mean, that is, not with another
person.

A place where we can be alone.

Now.

Now?

No, well, no, I can't now. I've got a
job. I've got responsibilities.

I've got fresh batteries in my
briefcase.

You stand right there. Do not move a
nerve. God, no.

Is this free?

urgent, personal nature have arisen and
regrettably forced me to ask for a

reset.

Fact or money, Dan?

Oh, I'm hurt.

Oh, I'm offended.

Did you ever jump to such an assumption?

Has it ever occurred to you I could be
in the midst of a dire personal tragedy?

Sex.

Dan, give your appliances the afternoon
off.

Shannon. Yep.

I am Sidney Shue, professor of
literature at Manhattan City College. I

am in charge of the children's book
contest. Did you get my entry?

Oh, yeah.

It was the most vile, offensive,
nauseatingly horrid collection of

thought I have ever seen put to paper.

Did I win?

Sir, Mr. Shoup critiqued my children's
book. It was ghastly, nightmarish,

apocalyptic.

Did he win?

Excuse me.

Bull Shannon is the sweetest, kindest,
gentlest man I know. I cannot believe

that he would write... Puff, the
flesh-eating dragon?

Needless to say... our kiddie panel of
judges has been wracked with nightmares.

Little Stevie actually strangled his
imaginary friend.

You are a disgrace.

You're a menace. You're a monster.

Did he win?

Well, in view of these circumstances, I
guess it would really be proper for us

to call... Yes?

A short... Yes?

You'll excuse me.

I have an imaginary funeral to attend.

Well, maybe this story wasn't such a
good idea.

You mean you really think it's scary for
kids?

Kids, adults, dead people.

What? I didn't mean to scare anyone.

Well, we all know what a big heart you
have and what a swell guy you are. And

that's why it's our job to let you know
that flaming toddlers...

is wrong so what everybody is saying is
that i

scared little kids little defenseless
kids

what a low

sick rotten thing to do it's true i am a
monster

Dan, I guess we're gonna have to feel
our way around.

Let the games begin.

You ever do this before?

I touch you, you touch me, we touch each
other.

If it's sick sex you want, I know the
kind of a place where you can go and get

that sort of thing cheap.

Lady, wait a minute. I did... How cheap?

To you, animal.

Yeah, well, thanks a lot, you tease.

Women, huh? You can't live with them.

meet the Terminator?

Yeah.

Your Honor.

Mac, any news about Bull?

Yep. He was just taken to the hospital.

What? He was just taken to the hospital.

Apparently, he started shouting
something about how he scared innocent

children. Then he exploded in a blind
rage and destroyed that corridor wall.

What goes through that man's head?

Apparently, not concrete or steel.

he shouldn't be allowed to be around
normal people, that he should be in a

cave or something.

Let's hit all his regular haunts. I'll
check out his apartment. I'll check up

on the roof.

I'll check every bar, disco, and singles
joint in the city.

Who doesn't hang out in those kinds of
places?

You go check where you want, and I'll go
check where I want.

you forgive a girl a little?

A little?

For what? Taking me to the peak of
ecstasy and then leave me dangling?

Please, Dan, give me a second chance.

Ha!

Give me one good reason why I should
give you a second chance.

We have a...

Okay, well, thank you.

Bull's not at the amusement park.

They miss him, though.

He's the most popular ride they got.

Bully the dragon looked like something
out of our world, an extinct creature

from another time.

That's it.

That's what? Read that again.

Bully the dragon looked like something
out of our world, an extinct creature

from another time.

Bully the dragon.

The dragon.

And so, Bully the dragon went off to be
with others of his kind at the dragon

jamboree.

See you later.

Where are you going? I'm going to the
dragon jamboree.

Candesol man.

What's this?

This is ginsentropous man, characterized
by low brow, large molars, and

small cranial capacity.

Sometimes I wish I was made of stone,
too.

Hi, Bull.

Your Honor.

These, uh, friends of yours?

In a way.

Whenever I need somebody to talk to
really bad, I come down here and rap

with the statues.

They ever answer you?

I'm tormented, Harry, not crazy.

that you've been through a wall since we
talked last.

So we can work this out, guy. We always
do.

What's there to work out?

I'm a monster, and I might as well learn
to live with it.

Is he always like this?

Don't answer that.

Bull.

Now, for one thing, who ever said you
were a monster?

Look at me, Harry.

I didn't even have to dress up for
Halloween as a kid.

It's a great mask.

Let me guess, Frankenstein, Phantom of
the Opera?

Kids can be cruel.

This was my family.

Well, sit down, huh? Come on.

Come on.

Now, believe it or not, I really do
understand how you feel.

No, you don't. Yeah.

What you'd call a lonely kind of kid? I
was never invited to the cool parties.

Nobody asked me to join the popular
clubs.

Well, I went up on you there.

I was asked to join the most popular
club in high school.

Really? Yeah.

Eight of us were selected to go through
the initiation.

All we had to do to join was... shave
our heads before he

showed up for the junior prom.

So I did.

And when I walked into the gym to meet
my date, you were the only one who'd

shaved his head.

I was only 16, Harry, and sure myself,
worried like

most adolescents about the way I looked
anyway.

And there I stood.

In front of what was for me at the time.

The whole world.

I wanted to kill myself.

And then I wanted to kill them.

Just like Bully the Dragon.

Yeah. Only I didn't live happily ever
after.

Wipe his lunch?

Yeah.

A long time ago.

You can't have my challenge, mister.

Go away, kid, will ya?

Yeah.

I'm not crazy about that smelly fish,
either.

Hey, listen, kid.

I'm sorry.

I appreciate the offer, but I gotta eat
out of a feed bag until he's healed.

If you were a brontosaurus, you wouldn't
have any hands to eat.

See, when he gets hungry, he just has to
lean over and gobble up like a little

brontosaurus. A brontosaurus is just a
plant.

You're kidding.

No, it's true.

Besides, if he ate up all those guys, he
wouldn't have anybody to play with.

Why would he want to play with them?

Maybe because he was lonely.

You think so?

Yeah.

But I guess it really didn't matter.

They were afraid to play with him
anyway.

Oh.

Must have been very sad.

I sure was.

You're not a monster.

nice man with the plaster hands alone.

He's great, Mom.

He knows everything.

He does?

Well, then, he must be. That's right,
ma'am.

I'm a bailiff.

You'll excuse us. We have to run for our
lives.

I understand.

Bye, mister.

Bye, kid.

I think that kid is ever going to look
at dinosaurs or maybe even people in

quite the same way again.

What do you mean?

You showed him something.

That you can't judge a book by its
cover.

Did you make that up?

Yes.

Thanks, Harry. No thanks necessary,
Bull.

Buddies, right? And buddies take care of
each other whenever they can.

Then you'll always be there when I need
you? You betcha, Bull.

Always.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Hi,

guys. Hi.

Hiya, big guy. Welcome back.

I sure miss you, Bull.

Thanks.

Guess what?

What? I did some more writing.

Well, Bull, how did... you write with
your hands and cats?

I stuck the pencil up my nostril.

Well, couldn't you have just put the
pencil in between your teeth?

After it had been in my nose?

Well, why don't you read to us what you
wrote?

Okie dokie.

This is an introductory poem from the
book I wrote.

Some monsters roar and shake the ground
with fury.

as they tread.

But I never actually met a beast who
truly wished me dead.

Oh, sure, their ugly faces and steely
eyes can scare, but they never seem to

be more mean than the ferocious teddy
bear.

So I guess it's true, like the covers of
the book, of the story, it's only a

part. But the monster's face never gives
you a clue to the love at any part.

Shannon just showed up.

Thanks. What are you going to call your
book?

The Snake Pit of Chucky's Mind.

We'll work on titles next.

Your Honor, Your Honor, you better come
here, sir. What's that? Come on, come

on. We've got to find Dan.

Remember that woman he was with?

Miriam Brody? Yeah, her psychiatrist
just called.

What? Her psychiatrist just called.

Apparently, she's suffering from a split
personality disorder.

She can be very deceptive. Oh, come on
now. I know Dan fell for it twice, but I

don't...