All language subtitles for Taskmaster (NZ) - s05e10 - Oh Baby Its Elegance

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.594 --> 00:00:03.594 -Hello. 2 00:00:04.314 --> 00:00:05.514 -Hey. 3 00:00:05.554 --> 00:00:08.154 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 4 00:00:08.994 --> 00:00:10.714 (GRUNTS) -Woo-hoo! 5 00:00:13.114 --> 00:00:14.194 -That's for the haters. 6 00:00:14.234 --> 00:00:15.954 (GRUNTS) -Clang, clang. 7 00:00:16.754 --> 00:00:18.434 (INAUDIBLE) (MAKING GUNSHOT SOUND EFFECTS) 8 00:00:19.674 --> 00:00:20.794 -Oh! (SHOUTING) 9 00:00:20.834 --> 00:00:22.354 -Yeah! (LAUGHING) 10 00:00:22.394 --> 00:00:24.754 (THEME MUSIC CONTINUES) 11 00:00:26.314 --> 00:00:28.354 (BANGING) (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 12 00:00:29.434 --> 00:00:32.314 (TYPREWRITER CLACKING) 13 00:00:32.354 --> 00:00:34.034 (TYPREWRITER BELL RINGS) 14 00:00:36.194 --> 00:00:37.634 -Nau mai, piki mai! 15 00:00:37.674 --> 00:00:43.234 Welcome to the grand finale of season five of Taskmaster. 16 00:00:43.274 --> 00:00:45.754 My name is Jeremy Wells. 17 00:00:45.794 --> 00:00:48.514 This is the episode that matters 18 00:00:48.554 --> 00:00:52.634 where our winner is crowned and where history is written. 19 00:00:52.674 --> 00:00:54.074 And by history 20 00:00:54.114 --> 00:00:56.754 I mean the Taskmaster New Zealand Wikipedia page. 21 00:00:56.794 --> 00:00:58.074 (LAUGHTER) 22 00:00:58.114 --> 00:01:01.074 -And tonight we'll find out which of our five comedians 23 00:01:01.114 --> 00:01:03.194 will go home with this... 24 00:01:03.234 --> 00:01:04.474 -AUDIENCE: Whoa! 25 00:01:04.514 --> 00:01:07.114 -..the golden Taskmaster trophy. 26 00:01:07.154 --> 00:01:11.834 Here to win my magnificent golden bust, we have... 27 00:01:11.874 --> 00:01:13.194 Abby Howells... 28 00:01:13.234 --> 00:01:15.274 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 29 00:01:15.314 --> 00:01:16.634 -..Ben Hurley... 30 00:01:16.674 --> 00:01:18.114 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 31 00:01:18.154 --> 00:01:19.554 -..Hayley Sproull... 32 00:01:19.594 --> 00:01:21.354 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:21.394 --> 00:01:23.034 -..and Tom Sainsbury. 34 00:01:23.074 --> 00:01:25.114 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:25.914 --> 00:01:30.154 -Now, Tofiga Fepulea'i has been unable to join us in the studio 36 00:01:30.194 --> 00:01:31.314 for the season. 37 00:01:31.354 --> 00:01:34.594 But we've had incredible guests to stand in in his place. 38 00:01:34.634 --> 00:01:37.154 And this episode is no exception. 39 00:01:37.194 --> 00:01:41.634 Please give a huge round of applause to the one, the only Chris Parker. 40 00:01:41.674 --> 00:01:44.314 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) -Thank you. 41 00:01:46.274 --> 00:01:50.514 -And by my side, as always, a man who dresses like a butler 42 00:01:50.554 --> 00:01:52.194 acts like a butler 43 00:01:52.234 --> 00:01:54.634 and mostly undertakes the work of a butler. 44 00:01:54.674 --> 00:01:56.634 It's Paul Williams. 45 00:01:56.674 --> 00:01:58.874 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 46 00:01:59.874 --> 00:02:03.514 -Wow, what a smoke show. Look at you tonight. 47 00:02:04.474 --> 00:02:06.714 -Actually, Paul Williams couldn't be here. 48 00:02:06.754 --> 00:02:09.114 I'm his great grandfather. 49 00:02:09.154 --> 00:02:11.834 I've time travelled forward from 1920. 50 00:02:12.674 --> 00:02:15.754 And I'm filling in for him this evening, ya see? 51 00:02:15.794 --> 00:02:17.274 -Oh! -Oh! 52 00:02:17.314 --> 00:02:18.554 -What do you reckon? 53 00:02:18.594 --> 00:02:19.994 -That's so hot. TOM: Ten out of ten. 54 00:02:20.034 --> 00:02:21.154 -Oh, yeah. 55 00:02:21.194 --> 00:02:24.234 -Like a sexy pedophile. 56 00:02:24.274 --> 00:02:26.674 (LAUGHTER) 57 00:02:27.914 --> 00:02:30.594 -Is that the first time those two words have been... 58 00:02:30.634 --> 00:02:31.954 -Yeah, probably. 59 00:02:31.994 --> 00:02:33.794 -Yeah. It's good to see you made an effort, 60 00:02:33.834 --> 00:02:35.074 unlike Tom here. 61 00:02:35.114 --> 00:02:36.474 -Have some decorum. 62 00:02:36.514 --> 00:02:38.914 -I've been wearing a suit this entire season, right? 63 00:02:38.954 --> 00:02:41.234 And then I get told to wear my best tonight. 64 00:02:41.274 --> 00:02:43.234 So, I'm, like, well, I've chucked on my house-abouts. 65 00:02:44.034 --> 00:02:45.514 -Let's get to it, Paul. 66 00:02:45.554 --> 00:02:48.474 What prize task did we ask our contestants to bring in today? 67 00:02:48.514 --> 00:02:52.514 -Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing 68 00:02:52.554 --> 00:02:56.154 that will still be here in a million years. 69 00:02:56.194 --> 00:02:58.874 -AUDIENCE: Whoa! 70 00:02:58.914 --> 00:03:01.914 -Tom, what long lasting thing of you bought in? 71 00:03:01.954 --> 00:03:05.554 -OK, so for my prize, I have brought honey. 72 00:03:05.594 --> 00:03:06.794 (LAUGHTER) 73 00:03:06.834 --> 00:03:08.194 Honey never goes off. 74 00:03:08.234 --> 00:03:10.154 So, it's going to be here in a million years, 75 00:03:10.194 --> 00:03:13.434 and you'll be like... You'll be like, "Hello. I'll eat honey." 76 00:03:13.474 --> 00:03:15.034 I'm being you as a cyborg. 77 00:03:15.074 --> 00:03:17.394 "I will enjoy this honey. 78 00:03:17.434 --> 00:03:18.874 "Ooh my..." 79 00:03:18.914 --> 00:03:22.554 "Mechanical receptors are going crazy for this honey!" 80 00:03:22.594 --> 00:03:23.994 (LAUGHTER) 81 00:03:24.034 --> 00:03:26.554 -Would Jeremy as a cyborg be any different? 82 00:03:26.594 --> 00:03:29.514 (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) 83 00:03:31.434 --> 00:03:33.474 -You pose a good question, actually. 84 00:03:33.514 --> 00:03:34.794 -Abby. 85 00:03:34.834 --> 00:03:37.434 -I had another thing planned. 86 00:03:37.474 --> 00:03:38.754 Then I had a dream. 87 00:03:39.674 --> 00:03:41.634 Where a voice told me 88 00:03:41.674 --> 00:03:45.554 the perfect thing to bring in for this task is elegance. 89 00:03:47.034 --> 00:03:49.154 (LAUGHTER) 90 00:03:50.194 --> 00:03:54.474 As represented by a top hat and monocle in this picture. 91 00:03:55.074 --> 00:03:58.074 But, the answer, Jeremy, 92 00:03:58.114 --> 00:03:59.474 it's elegance. 93 00:04:01.274 --> 00:04:02.674 -This came to you in a dream? 94 00:04:02.714 --> 00:04:03.794 -Yes. 95 00:04:04.394 --> 00:04:06.994 -Do you think will remain elegant when the world's, like, on fire 96 00:04:07.034 --> 00:04:09.394 and we're all at war together and there's, like, no more food? 97 00:04:09.434 --> 00:04:10.714 -Elegance is timeless. 98 00:04:10.754 --> 00:04:11.914 (LAUGHTER) 99 00:04:11.954 --> 00:04:13.594 Timeless elegance. 100 00:04:14.234 --> 00:04:15.914 It's elegance, Jeremy! 101 00:04:15.954 --> 00:04:18.794 -As represented by a top hat and a monocle. 102 00:04:18.834 --> 00:04:20.754 -Oh, baby it's elegance! 103 00:04:21.874 --> 00:04:23.114 It's the answer! 104 00:04:24.074 --> 00:04:26.194 -I don't think I ever want to hear that word ever again. 105 00:04:27.594 --> 00:04:28.754 -Ben. 106 00:04:28.794 --> 00:04:31.594 -Jeremy, my thing that's going to be here in a million years 107 00:04:31.634 --> 00:04:35.834 is obvious to every person from Aotearoa, New Zealand. 108 00:04:35.874 --> 00:04:37.314 I think you'll all agree. 109 00:04:37.354 --> 00:04:39.354 It is the right honourable Winston Peters. 110 00:04:39.394 --> 00:04:41.794 (LAUGHTER) 111 00:04:41.834 --> 00:04:43.954 (APPLAUSE) 112 00:04:44.514 --> 00:04:45.514 -Now... 113 00:04:46.114 --> 00:04:47.874 I did ask him to be on the show. 114 00:04:48.594 --> 00:04:49.714 And he declined. 115 00:04:50.354 --> 00:04:53.674 So, I sent this email to him. 116 00:04:53.714 --> 00:04:57.554 "Dear sir, I hope this email finds you well. 117 00:04:57.594 --> 00:04:59.674 "It probably will because you are immortal. 118 00:05:00.554 --> 00:05:02.514 "Please supply the following information 119 00:05:02.554 --> 00:05:04.154 "under the Official Information Act. 120 00:05:04.194 --> 00:05:06.194 "What is your secret to everlasting life? 121 00:05:07.194 --> 00:05:11.514 "And what are your plans for the 1,002,026 election?" 122 00:05:12.474 --> 00:05:13.754 I'm supposed to have received that 123 00:05:13.794 --> 00:05:16.674 within 20 working days of me sending it. 124 00:05:16.714 --> 00:05:18.514 Which was this morning. 125 00:05:18.554 --> 00:05:20.314 (LAUGHTER) 126 00:05:20.354 --> 00:05:22.594 Did you write in italics, Ben? 127 00:05:23.314 --> 00:05:24.634 -I did. 128 00:05:25.594 --> 00:05:26.794 Do you know why? 129 00:05:26.834 --> 00:05:29.714 Elegance. Yeah. Elegance, baby! 130 00:05:29.754 --> 00:05:31.354 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) -It's the answer! 131 00:05:32.034 --> 00:05:33.194 -Hayley, what did you bring in 132 00:05:33.234 --> 00:05:34.714 that's going to be around in a million years? 133 00:05:34.754 --> 00:05:36.514 -Jeremy, this is where I would like to admit 134 00:05:36.554 --> 00:05:38.594 that I have lived a life of privilege. 135 00:05:38.634 --> 00:05:41.754 And, you know, I have loved every minute of it. 136 00:05:41.794 --> 00:05:43.274 (LAUGHTER) 137 00:05:43.314 --> 00:05:47.314 -So, the thing that I have, without a doubt, utter faith, 138 00:05:47.354 --> 00:05:49.034 will still be here in a million years, 139 00:05:49.074 --> 00:05:50.434 is my family bach. 140 00:05:50.474 --> 00:05:52.914 It's that one just on the cliff there... 141 00:05:52.954 --> 00:05:54.194 (LAUGHTER) 142 00:05:54.234 --> 00:05:56.794 -And there's no doubt in my mind, Jeremy 143 00:05:56.834 --> 00:06:00.034 that in a million years, this beautiful waterfront property 144 00:06:00.074 --> 00:06:03.234 will still be here for tonight's winner to enjoy. 145 00:06:03.274 --> 00:06:04.794 (LAUGHTER) 146 00:06:04.834 --> 00:06:07.154 -I'm assuming you want to lose this task. 147 00:06:08.114 --> 00:06:09.554 -Why would I want that? 148 00:06:09.594 --> 00:06:12.194 It's such a fantastic bach in a prime location 149 00:06:12.234 --> 00:06:13.754 and totally insurable. 150 00:06:13.794 --> 00:06:15.634 (LAUGHTER) 151 00:06:15.674 --> 00:06:18.394 -Chris, what did you bring in for Tofiga? 152 00:06:18.434 --> 00:06:20.994 -Well, this thing, you know, 153 00:06:21.034 --> 00:06:23.274 I'll have, like, a big night out 154 00:06:23.314 --> 00:06:25.914 and then I'll see that it's still there. 155 00:06:25.954 --> 00:06:27.834 And then sometimes, like, weeks will go on 156 00:06:27.874 --> 00:06:29.274 and it's still there. 157 00:06:29.314 --> 00:06:31.634 Years will go on, it's still there. 158 00:06:31.674 --> 00:06:35.034 And so I brought in loose glitter. 159 00:06:35.074 --> 00:06:38.074 (LAUGHTER) 160 00:06:40.354 --> 00:06:42.634 I mean, me and Abby both have glitter on our eyelids tonight. 161 00:06:42.674 --> 00:06:45.514 And we will until we die, I guess, now. 162 00:06:45.554 --> 00:06:46.594 -That glitter's from my house. 163 00:06:46.634 --> 00:06:48.594 -Yeah, I know. Got ya. 164 00:06:49.274 --> 00:06:50.354 -OK. 165 00:06:50.394 --> 00:06:53.354 By the looks of how Hayley's bach is going to be around for... 166 00:06:53.394 --> 00:06:56.194 I'm going to give it 15 years, and that's gone. 167 00:06:56.234 --> 00:06:57.834 So, one point for Hayley. 168 00:06:57.874 --> 00:07:00.314 Winston Peters will lasts for another 120 years. 169 00:07:00.354 --> 00:07:02.834 But, I think the email will go. So, two points for Ben. 170 00:07:02.874 --> 00:07:06.754 Elegance will last as long as humans are here. 171 00:07:06.794 --> 00:07:09.074 And so, I think three points for you Abby. 172 00:07:09.114 --> 00:07:11.994 And I think Tom's honey will last probably the next amount of time. 173 00:07:12.034 --> 00:07:13.594 So, that's four points for Tom. 174 00:07:13.634 --> 00:07:15.874 And I think the glitter will last... Glitter will be around forever. 175 00:07:15.914 --> 00:07:17.114 -We all agree... 176 00:07:17.154 --> 00:07:19.514 (APPLAUSE) 177 00:07:20.594 --> 00:07:22.994 -Should we get a season score update? 178 00:07:23.034 --> 00:07:25.074 -It might be our tightest season yet. 179 00:07:25.114 --> 00:07:29.514 With a one point lead on 150, it's Haley Sproull. 180 00:07:29.554 --> 00:07:32.034 (APPLAUSE) 181 00:07:32.914 --> 00:07:35.114 -OK, Paul, I'm ready for the first proper task 182 00:07:35.154 --> 00:07:37.234 of the last episode of the season. 183 00:07:37.274 --> 00:07:39.194 -Of course, Jeremy. Here it is. 184 00:07:45.754 --> 00:07:46.954 -TOM: Knock, knock. 185 00:07:46.994 --> 00:07:47.994 -Who's there? 186 00:07:48.034 --> 00:07:50.154 -Yoo hoo! Only me! 187 00:07:50.194 --> 00:07:51.314 -Hello, Abby. 188 00:07:51.354 --> 00:07:55.554 -Mate, you like bringing me into this little caravan, ay? 189 00:07:55.594 --> 00:07:56.714 -Yeah. 190 00:07:56.754 --> 00:07:58.114 -Isa! 191 00:07:58.154 --> 00:07:59.914 (LAUGHTER) 192 00:08:04.754 --> 00:08:05.994 -It's a phone there. 193 00:08:06.034 --> 00:08:07.314 -Yeah. 194 00:08:07.354 --> 00:08:10.234 -"Text the stranger and guess their age." 195 00:08:10.274 --> 00:08:12.994 -"You cannot use numbers in your questions. 196 00:08:13.034 --> 00:08:15.874 "And they cannot use numbers and the answers". 197 00:08:15.914 --> 00:08:18.594 -"You may not use the internet. You have one guess." 198 00:08:18.634 --> 00:08:20.954 -I have one guess? -Yeah. 199 00:08:20.994 --> 00:08:23.634 -"Closest approximation to their age wins. 200 00:08:23.674 --> 00:08:25.154 "You have ten minutes. 201 00:08:25.194 --> 00:08:26.674 "Your time starts now." 202 00:08:26.714 --> 00:08:28.794 -"So, use this. Text any stranger". 203 00:08:28.834 --> 00:08:30.154 -The stranger. 204 00:08:30.194 --> 00:08:31.354 -The stranger. Oh. 205 00:08:32.394 --> 00:08:34.714 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 206 00:08:35.554 --> 00:08:37.194 -Alright, should we get into it? 207 00:08:37.234 --> 00:08:40.514 -Up first, it's Haley Sproull and Tom Sainsbury. 208 00:08:40.554 --> 00:08:42.274 -Hi, stranger. 209 00:08:42.314 --> 00:08:43.834 Wazzup! 210 00:08:45.954 --> 00:08:47.954 Now, if they get that reference, 211 00:08:47.994 --> 00:08:49.794 it's going to put them in an age bracket for me. 212 00:08:49.834 --> 00:08:52.514 -She's like, "Hey, stranger. Wazzup?" 213 00:08:52.554 --> 00:08:55.034 -"Heyyy"... OK. Multiple Y's and lowercase. 214 00:08:55.074 --> 00:08:56.194 I'm thinking Gen Z. 215 00:08:56.234 --> 00:08:58.274 -Hi, sweetheart. 216 00:08:58.314 --> 00:09:01.194 Did you grow up with records, cassettes, CDs or Spotify? 217 00:09:01.234 --> 00:09:04.394 -"Hi, sweetheart?" That's very presumptive. 218 00:09:04.434 --> 00:09:07.354 -I grew up with most of them. OK. 219 00:09:07.394 --> 00:09:08.434 -Whatcha doing? 220 00:09:08.474 --> 00:09:09.634 -Nothing much. 221 00:09:09.674 --> 00:09:11.754 -"Just sitting. Txting." 222 00:09:11.794 --> 00:09:13.634 Ooh, they're abbreviating though. 223 00:09:13.674 --> 00:09:15.274 Now, I'm thinking boomer. 224 00:09:15.314 --> 00:09:17.274 This feels like my mum when she texts. 225 00:09:17.314 --> 00:09:18.834 -Do you know who Hilary Duff is? 226 00:09:18.874 --> 00:09:20.634 -Do I know who Hilary Duff is? 227 00:09:20.674 --> 00:09:23.194 -"Duh. Yes". -Bit of attitude. 228 00:09:23.234 --> 00:09:25.034 -Do you love... Taylor Swift? 229 00:09:25.074 --> 00:09:27.194 "Hell no." 230 00:09:27.234 --> 00:09:28.394 OK. 231 00:09:28.434 --> 00:09:30.994 "Me neither. She's lame. LOL." 232 00:09:31.034 --> 00:09:32.874 -"Duh. Yes, I know Hilary Duff is." 233 00:09:32.914 --> 00:09:34.314 I'm thinking they're in their thirties." 234 00:09:34.354 --> 00:09:36.354 -I'm gonna say, "What are you wearing..." 235 00:09:36.394 --> 00:09:37.874 "in a non sexy way?" 236 00:09:38.714 --> 00:09:41.354 -I am wearing... 237 00:09:41.394 --> 00:09:42.394 -"Baggy jeans." 238 00:09:42.434 --> 00:09:44.114 Now, I think it's Gen Alpha. It's a millennial. 239 00:09:44.154 --> 00:09:45.794 I'll say "Do you like skinny jeans?" 240 00:09:45.834 --> 00:09:47.914 -"Do you like skinny jeans? I miss them." 241 00:09:49.154 --> 00:09:50.394 -"God no." 242 00:09:50.434 --> 00:09:51.874 I'll say "Jokes. So lame." 243 00:09:51.914 --> 00:09:55.114 -"Jokes so lame." This person seems old. 244 00:09:55.154 --> 00:09:56.154 (LAUGHTER) 245 00:09:56.194 --> 00:10:00.314 Who was Prime Minister when you were at high school? 246 00:10:00.354 --> 00:10:01.554 -I wasn't interested. 247 00:10:01.594 --> 00:10:04.274 -"I have no idea. I was more interested in other stuff." 248 00:10:04.314 --> 00:10:07.994 -Who is the cutest celeb? 249 00:10:08.034 --> 00:10:09.354 -Probably.... 250 00:10:09.394 --> 00:10:11.634 I'm not sure this person might know this person. 251 00:10:11.674 --> 00:10:13.914 -"Probably Central Fee." 252 00:10:13.954 --> 00:10:15.754 -I think it's to be Central Cee. 253 00:10:15.794 --> 00:10:17.274 -Do you know who they are? -I do. 254 00:10:17.314 --> 00:10:19.474 -What do they look like? -Quite hot. 255 00:10:20.154 --> 00:10:21.594 -I'm gonna say "I like Jason Mamoa." 256 00:10:21.634 --> 00:10:23.474 -"I like Jason Mimosa." 257 00:10:23.514 --> 00:10:25.354 -I just said "I like Jason Mimosa." 258 00:10:25.394 --> 00:10:26.474 Far out. 259 00:10:26.514 --> 00:10:27.714 I got it! 260 00:10:27.754 --> 00:10:30.314 Do you like mimosas? They might be under age. 261 00:10:30.354 --> 00:10:31.914 This will give me an age limit. 262 00:10:31.954 --> 00:10:34.034 Eighteen or under. Yes. 263 00:10:34.074 --> 00:10:35.074 "Yes"?! 264 00:10:36.514 --> 00:10:38.634 Can you legally drink... Mimosas? 265 00:10:38.674 --> 00:10:39.874 No they can't. 266 00:10:39.914 --> 00:10:41.594 Naughty, naughty. 267 00:10:41.634 --> 00:10:44.754 -Were you born after... 268 00:10:44.794 --> 00:10:46.954 'Titanic' was on at the movies? 269 00:10:46.994 --> 00:10:48.274 (LAUGHS) 270 00:10:48.314 --> 00:10:49.674 -They said, "No". 271 00:10:52.034 --> 00:10:53.674 -Can you legally drink next year? 272 00:10:53.714 --> 00:10:56.114 -I feel like she's slowly getting there. 273 00:10:56.154 --> 00:10:57.834 -I got you, I've got you, stranger. 274 00:10:57.874 --> 00:10:59.714 OK. Dot, dot, dot, it's coming! 275 00:10:59.754 --> 00:11:01.194 (PHONE CHIMES) 276 00:11:01.834 --> 00:11:02.994 -What'd they say? 277 00:11:04.234 --> 00:11:05.874 -AUDIENCE: Woo! 278 00:11:05.914 --> 00:11:07.994 -I just really felt a connection with this girl. 279 00:11:08.034 --> 00:11:11.034 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 280 00:11:15.474 --> 00:11:19.554 -So, Hayley, my two favorite quotes were you saying 281 00:11:19.594 --> 00:11:22.274 "I just really felt a connection with this girl." 282 00:11:22.314 --> 00:11:23.874 And then her saying, 283 00:11:23.914 --> 00:11:25.074 "This person seems old." 284 00:11:25.114 --> 00:11:26.474 -Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 285 00:11:27.394 --> 00:11:28.874 Yeah, um... 286 00:11:29.914 --> 00:11:32.714 -Tom, I felt like you were at an instant disadvantage 287 00:11:32.754 --> 00:11:34.474 because the woman you had on the other line 288 00:11:34.514 --> 00:11:35.954 seemed to really hate you from the start. 289 00:11:35.994 --> 00:11:37.394 (LAUGHTER) 290 00:11:37.434 --> 00:11:39.794 The feeling is completely mutual. 291 00:11:39.834 --> 00:11:42.834 (LAUGHTER) 292 00:11:45.594 --> 00:11:47.394 -You were slightly stitched up 293 00:11:47.434 --> 00:11:51.194 by having the only 58 year old who would respond "Duh" 294 00:11:51.234 --> 00:11:53.394 to, "Do you know Hilary Duff?" 295 00:11:53.434 --> 00:11:54.794 -Thank you! 296 00:11:54.834 --> 00:11:57.354 -She's a sassy Karen. I liked her. -She certainly was. 297 00:11:57.394 --> 00:11:59.074 So, where did we get to in the end? 298 00:11:59.114 --> 00:12:01.314 -So, Tom guessed '34'. -Yeah. 299 00:12:01.354 --> 00:12:02.634 -And she was 58. -Woah. 300 00:12:02.674 --> 00:12:03.994 -So, 24 years off. 301 00:12:04.034 --> 00:12:06.034 Hayley guessed '17'. 302 00:12:06.074 --> 00:12:08.314 And she was 17. 303 00:12:08.354 --> 00:12:09.994 (APPLAUSE) -Wow. 304 00:12:10.034 --> 00:12:11.114 OK. 305 00:12:11.154 --> 00:12:12.354 -Bang on. 306 00:12:12.394 --> 00:12:13.514 -OK. 307 00:12:13.554 --> 00:12:15.514 Well that's it for the first part of the show. 308 00:12:15.554 --> 00:12:17.714 But here's a task for you at home. 309 00:12:17.754 --> 00:12:21.354 Buy one of every product you're about to be advertised, 310 00:12:21.394 --> 00:12:24.714 and try to keep New Zealand TV alive for just a little bit longer. 311 00:12:24.754 --> 00:12:26.274 We'll see you after this. 312 00:12:26.314 --> 00:12:27.914 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 313 00:12:27.954 --> 00:12:29.874 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 314 00:12:33.314 --> 00:12:34.514 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 315 00:12:34.554 --> 00:12:37.314 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 316 00:12:38.194 --> 00:12:40.354 -Hoki mai ano, welcome back to 'Taskmaster'. 317 00:12:40.394 --> 00:12:41.514 What were we doing, Paul? 318 00:12:41.554 --> 00:12:42.994 I'm getting old and losing my memory. 319 00:12:43.034 --> 00:12:44.314 -That's OK, Jeremy. 320 00:12:44.354 --> 00:12:46.274 I will be here as your body declines. 321 00:12:46.314 --> 00:12:48.074 (LAUGHTER) 322 00:12:48.114 --> 00:12:50.634 -Our comedians were each texting a different stranger 323 00:12:50.674 --> 00:12:52.834 and trying to guess their age. 324 00:12:53.434 --> 00:12:55.634 So far, we've seen Hayley and Tom. 325 00:12:55.674 --> 00:12:58.834 Now it's time for Abby Howells, aged 33. 326 00:12:58.874 --> 00:13:02.434 And Ben Hurley, aged 40 to 50, according to his agent. 327 00:13:02.474 --> 00:13:05.154 (LAUGHTER) 328 00:13:05.194 --> 00:13:07.634 It's accurate. -It's Abby and Ben. 329 00:13:07.674 --> 00:13:12.034 -Nice day for a dance. 330 00:13:12.074 --> 00:13:15.914 -"Nice day for a dance. What do you like to listen to?" 331 00:13:18.074 --> 00:13:20.554 'Uptown Funk'. Ooh! 332 00:13:20.594 --> 00:13:24.794 What that is... is an extremely generic song 333 00:13:24.834 --> 00:13:26.234 that pretty much everybody likes. 334 00:13:26.274 --> 00:13:29.074 -Do you have a phone? 335 00:13:29.114 --> 00:13:33.314 And if so, what make is it? 336 00:13:33.354 --> 00:13:35.874 -"Do you have a phone? And if so, what make is it?" 337 00:13:35.914 --> 00:13:37.474 -They have a Samsung. 338 00:13:37.514 --> 00:13:38.634 -OK. 339 00:13:38.674 --> 00:13:40.274 -OK. I think that maybe older. 340 00:13:40.314 --> 00:13:41.514 Do you remember the war? 341 00:13:41.554 --> 00:13:42.794 (LAUGHTER) 342 00:13:42.834 --> 00:13:44.234 -Yeah. I do remember the war! 343 00:13:44.274 --> 00:13:45.714 I was born before the war! (CHUCKLES) 344 00:13:45.754 --> 00:13:47.154 -Which war? (CHUCKLES) 345 00:13:47.194 --> 00:13:48.954 (LAUGHTER) 346 00:13:48.994 --> 00:13:50.274 The Falklands? 347 00:13:50.314 --> 00:13:52.554 No, actually, I'm going to go with Iraq. 348 00:13:52.594 --> 00:13:55.514 -Says, "The new Samsung phone" and then it says "Iraq". 349 00:13:55.554 --> 00:13:56.834 And then it says no after that. 350 00:13:56.874 --> 00:13:58.394 I don't understand what's going on here. 351 00:13:58.434 --> 00:14:02.194 -"Do you remember when the Mars rover went to Mars?" 352 00:14:02.234 --> 00:14:03.314 -No. 353 00:14:03.354 --> 00:14:05.274 -Just, "No"? -Yeah. 354 00:14:05.314 --> 00:14:06.714 -What age would that suggest? 355 00:14:06.754 --> 00:14:07.954 -Maybe younger. 356 00:14:07.994 --> 00:14:09.274 -What's your favorite movie? 357 00:14:09.314 --> 00:14:11.954 -"What's your favorite movie?" I'm just trying to think. 358 00:14:11.994 --> 00:14:13.634 -Text me back. 359 00:14:15.994 --> 00:14:17.874 (LAUGHTER) 360 00:14:17.914 --> 00:14:20.394 This is like dating in my 20s again. 361 00:14:20.434 --> 00:14:22.834 Where I'm really keeping the conversation going. 362 00:14:22.874 --> 00:14:24.874 -I'll just put anything on here. 363 00:14:24.914 --> 00:14:26.794 -Their favourite movie is 'Braveheart'? 364 00:14:26.834 --> 00:14:28.594 OK. They're older. 365 00:14:28.634 --> 00:14:31.994 -Are you at school? 366 00:14:32.034 --> 00:14:33.154 I don't feel like 367 00:14:33.194 --> 00:14:34.954 that's an appropriate question to ask anyone. 368 00:14:34.994 --> 00:14:36.874 -"Are you at school?" 369 00:14:36.914 --> 00:14:41.194 -"Yes." So, they've got to be, um... 14. 370 00:14:41.234 --> 00:14:44.234 -Who is your... -Celebrity crush? 371 00:14:44.274 --> 00:14:45.834 -Monroe?! 372 00:14:45.874 --> 00:14:48.634 OK. Marilyn. 373 00:14:48.674 --> 00:14:51.314 OK, that makes me think they're even older than I thought. 374 00:14:51.354 --> 00:14:52.674 -Fourteen. 375 00:14:53.594 --> 00:14:55.074 -57 years old. 376 00:14:55.114 --> 00:14:56.874 -Thank you, Ben. 377 00:14:56.914 --> 00:14:59.754 -This is a person who's a little older, I reckon. 378 00:14:59.794 --> 00:15:01.994 (APPLAUSE) 379 00:15:02.034 --> 00:15:03.794 Oh, the kid's so cute! 380 00:15:03.834 --> 00:15:06.114 -He's so cute. 381 00:15:07.274 --> 00:15:09.674 -It was very hot in here. I don't know if you could tell. 382 00:15:09.714 --> 00:15:12.314 -Yeah. Sweaty Benny, wasn't it? 383 00:15:12.354 --> 00:15:13.794 -I was a bit flustered. 384 00:15:13.834 --> 00:15:17.714 -Abby, he did seem like he was taking a while to text back. 385 00:15:17.754 --> 00:15:20.314 -Yeah. He was. It was pretty stressful. 386 00:15:20.354 --> 00:15:21.474 It kind of felt like 387 00:15:21.514 --> 00:15:23.994 being back in the dating scene again, like, "Oh"... 388 00:15:24.034 --> 00:15:26.074 And he seemed ambivalent on me. 389 00:15:26.714 --> 00:15:28.274 He seemed to think I was weird. 390 00:15:29.394 --> 00:15:31.154 (LAUGHTER) 391 00:15:31.194 --> 00:15:32.194 (ABBY LAUGHS) 392 00:15:33.034 --> 00:15:35.474 -OK. So, Paul, how did everything go? 393 00:15:35.514 --> 00:15:36.834 -Abby guessed 57. 394 00:15:36.874 --> 00:15:38.994 -Mm-hm. -He was 78. 395 00:15:39.034 --> 00:15:40.994 -AUDIENCE: Ooh! -Twenty-one years off. 396 00:15:41.034 --> 00:15:43.594 He easily sent the fewest texts. 397 00:15:43.634 --> 00:15:46.554 Bens guess - 14. 398 00:15:46.594 --> 00:15:47.834 He was nine. 399 00:15:47.874 --> 00:15:49.194 -Aww. 400 00:15:49.234 --> 00:15:50.714 -So, five years off. 401 00:15:50.754 --> 00:15:53.514 -Alright, we've got one comedian left, Paul. 402 00:15:53.554 --> 00:15:54.794 -That's right, Jeremy. 403 00:15:54.834 --> 00:15:58.114 It's time for Chris Parker to try to defend this. 404 00:15:58.154 --> 00:15:59.194 -Oh no. (LAUGHTER) 405 00:15:59.234 --> 00:16:01.034 -Hello, stranger. 406 00:16:01.074 --> 00:16:02.514 How old are you? 407 00:16:02.554 --> 00:16:03.874 (PHONE CHIMES) 408 00:16:03.914 --> 00:16:05.274 -"Old enough." 409 00:16:06.114 --> 00:16:10.034 What's a special event 410 00:16:10.074 --> 00:16:13.474 that happened the year you were born? 411 00:16:13.514 --> 00:16:14.874 "Tupac died." 412 00:16:15.514 --> 00:16:16.594 You know what? 413 00:16:16.634 --> 00:16:18.674 I don't even know when Tupac died. 414 00:16:18.714 --> 00:16:20.194 -Did he even die? 415 00:16:20.234 --> 00:16:22.314 -What year did Tupac die? 416 00:16:22.354 --> 00:16:26.034 -Don't you know when Tupac died... (LAUGHTER) 417 00:16:26.954 --> 00:16:28.274 ..you dumb ass. 418 00:16:28.314 --> 00:16:29.514 (LAUGHTER) 419 00:16:29.554 --> 00:16:32.194 -Oh, I'm a dumbass now? 420 00:16:32.234 --> 00:16:33.834 Where do you live? 421 00:16:33.874 --> 00:16:35.354 You're going to see Tupac... 422 00:16:36.194 --> 00:16:37.594 when I find you. 423 00:16:37.634 --> 00:16:38.714 There. 424 00:16:38.754 --> 00:16:40.274 Let's see who's the dumbass now. 425 00:16:40.314 --> 00:16:41.874 (LAUGHS) 426 00:16:41.914 --> 00:16:42.914 (PHONE CHIMES) 427 00:16:43.834 --> 00:16:45.794 -"Come find me then, you bitch." 428 00:16:45.834 --> 00:16:46.954 (LAUGHTER) 429 00:16:46.994 --> 00:16:49.314 -Who was the captain of the All Blacks 430 00:16:49.354 --> 00:16:51.474 when you were born? 431 00:16:51.514 --> 00:16:53.874 -No idea. -"No idea, old man." 432 00:16:53.914 --> 00:16:55.474 Oh, I'm an old man now. 433 00:16:55.514 --> 00:16:57.874 -I'll say, "Why do you text so slow?" 434 00:16:57.914 --> 00:17:00.074 Are your fingers too big for the keyboard? 435 00:17:00.114 --> 00:17:01.314 -Ask your Mum. 436 00:17:01.354 --> 00:17:02.754 -"Ask your Mum!" (CHUCKLES) 437 00:17:05.474 --> 00:17:06.714 -"You wanna scrap aye?" 438 00:17:06.754 --> 00:17:07.834 Yes, please. 439 00:17:07.874 --> 00:17:09.474 I'm in the caravan. 440 00:17:09.514 --> 00:17:12.594 (LAUGHS) He's gonna kill me. 441 00:17:15.714 --> 00:17:16.994 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 442 00:17:17.034 --> 00:17:18.634 (PHONE CHIMES) -What's that? 443 00:17:19.354 --> 00:17:21.074 "Ha'u siana." 444 00:17:21.114 --> 00:17:22.714 (LAUGHS) 445 00:17:22.754 --> 00:17:24.794 -What does that mean? -It's Tongan. 446 00:17:24.834 --> 00:17:26.514 -Like, come dox. Come scrap. 447 00:17:26.554 --> 00:17:29.554 (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) 448 00:17:31.754 --> 00:17:32.954 -I'll tell you what, Chris. 449 00:17:32.994 --> 00:17:34.634 That one really took a turn, didn't it? 450 00:17:34.674 --> 00:17:35.914 -I'm just surprised Bubba texted back. 451 00:17:35.954 --> 00:17:37.154 -Yeah. 452 00:17:37.194 --> 00:17:39.034 I'm really pleased that we didn't 453 00:17:39.074 --> 00:17:41.554 pare Tofiga up with any of the children. 454 00:17:41.594 --> 00:17:42.794 (LAUGHTER) 455 00:17:42.834 --> 00:17:46.274 -So, Tofiga guessed '27'. -Yeah. 456 00:17:46.314 --> 00:17:48.514 -Bubba is 27. 457 00:17:48.554 --> 00:17:50.434 -Wow. (APPLAUSE) 458 00:17:50.474 --> 00:17:52.234 -Oh, goodness. OK. 459 00:17:52.274 --> 00:17:53.794 -That means one point for Tom. 460 00:17:53.834 --> 00:17:56.434 Two points for Abby who was 21 years off. 461 00:17:56.474 --> 00:17:58.874 Five years off, three points for Ben. 462 00:17:58.914 --> 00:18:01.194 Tofiga, the correct age, 463 00:18:01.234 --> 00:18:02.354 and Hayley the correct age... 464 00:18:02.954 --> 00:18:04.114 five points each? 465 00:18:04.154 --> 00:18:06.034 -Yeah, absolutely. -Five points each. 466 00:18:06.074 --> 00:18:07.234 -Well done. Thank you. 467 00:18:07.274 --> 00:18:08.354 Well done. 468 00:18:08.394 --> 00:18:09.794 (APPLAUSE) 469 00:18:09.834 --> 00:18:14.074 -Now seems like a really, really good time to have an episode score. 470 00:18:14.114 --> 00:18:15.354 (INHALES SHARPLY) 471 00:18:15.394 --> 00:18:17.994 -Out in first with a perfect ten points. 472 00:18:18.034 --> 00:18:19.034 It's Tofiga. 473 00:18:19.074 --> 00:18:21.594 (APPLAUSE) 474 00:18:23.074 --> 00:18:24.674 -Is there another task for us, Paul? 475 00:18:24.714 --> 00:18:26.914 -I hope you brought your passport, Jeremy. 476 00:18:26.954 --> 00:18:29.434 Because this time, we're going international. 477 00:18:30.274 --> 00:18:33.274 (LIVELY MARIACHI-STYLE MUSIC PLAYING) 478 00:18:36.274 --> 00:18:37.714 Oof! 479 00:18:37.754 --> 00:18:38.994 -Mm. 480 00:18:39.034 --> 00:18:40.314 (YAWNS) 481 00:18:40.354 --> 00:18:41.874 -Knock, knock! 482 00:18:41.914 --> 00:18:43.474 -Permission to come aboard? 483 00:18:43.514 --> 00:18:45.114 -Permission granted. -OK. 484 00:18:45.954 --> 00:18:47.354 -Oof! Far out! 485 00:18:49.754 --> 00:18:52.914 (GASPS) "Invent a new country." 486 00:18:52.954 --> 00:18:56.114 -"You must create a detailed and informative tourism video..." 487 00:18:56.154 --> 00:18:57.394 -"...promoting your country." 488 00:18:57.434 --> 00:18:59.514 -"Best new country wins." 489 00:18:59.554 --> 00:19:04.114 -"You've got 45 minutes. Starting now." 490 00:19:04.154 --> 00:19:05.674 -Oh, here it is here. 491 00:19:05.714 --> 00:19:07.314 -What do I want out of a country? 492 00:19:07.354 --> 00:19:08.754 Stone fruits. 493 00:19:08.794 --> 00:19:10.594 -Did you say "stone fruits"? 494 00:19:10.634 --> 00:19:12.714 -Yeah. It's like paradise. -Fresh fruit. 495 00:19:12.754 --> 00:19:14.114 Because my country is going to be tropical. 496 00:19:14.154 --> 00:19:15.234 -OK. 497 00:19:15.274 --> 00:19:17.034 -We need really good cuisine 498 00:19:17.074 --> 00:19:21.154 based mostly around bananas. 499 00:19:21.194 --> 00:19:23.754 -Like a country that's just continental. 500 00:19:23.794 --> 00:19:26.114 But for some reason I'm thinking about Continental Chocolates. 501 00:19:26.154 --> 00:19:27.554 -Notable people. 502 00:19:27.594 --> 00:19:29.514 -Jean Pierre. -Yes! 503 00:19:29.554 --> 00:19:30.954 -Paul Williams? 504 00:19:30.994 --> 00:19:33.194 Can you be in the video? -If you want. 505 00:19:33.234 --> 00:19:34.394 -Continentilia. 506 00:19:34.434 --> 00:19:36.874 -The name is based on Continental Chocolates? 507 00:19:36.914 --> 00:19:38.554 -Yeah. -Discontinued, I think. 508 00:19:38.594 --> 00:19:39.914 -Do they not make them anymore? 509 00:19:39.954 --> 00:19:41.234 -OK, let's go. 510 00:19:41.274 --> 00:19:43.994 (APPLAUSE) 511 00:19:44.034 --> 00:19:45.154 -Abby, to be honest, 512 00:19:45.194 --> 00:19:47.074 when, the main thing that you were focused on 513 00:19:47.114 --> 00:19:48.474 with your country was stone fruit, 514 00:19:48.514 --> 00:19:50.314 I thought, well, that's pretty odd. 515 00:19:50.354 --> 00:19:52.034 But then Hayley picked it up straight away 516 00:19:52.074 --> 00:19:53.354 and she was into the fruit as well. 517 00:19:53.394 --> 00:19:54.634 -Yeah, bananas. 518 00:19:54.674 --> 00:19:56.594 -Could you imagine, like, walking along 519 00:19:56.634 --> 00:19:58.514 and being like, "A nectarine?" 520 00:19:58.554 --> 00:20:01.554 (LAUGHTER) 521 00:20:01.594 --> 00:20:03.594 -I can actually. I've done that quite a few times. 522 00:20:04.474 --> 00:20:06.394 -Abby, what's the most elegant fruit? 523 00:20:07.754 --> 00:20:08.954 -The plum. 524 00:20:09.794 --> 00:20:12.074 -Surely, it's a lady finger. 525 00:20:12.114 --> 00:20:13.834 -Yeah. Banana. Yeah. 526 00:20:14.714 --> 00:20:16.114 -Banana looks like a penis. 527 00:20:16.154 --> 00:20:17.794 (LAUGHTER) 528 00:20:17.834 --> 00:20:21.234 -I'm just not feeling what the problem is there, sorry. 529 00:20:21.274 --> 00:20:22.314 (LAUGHTER) 530 00:20:22.354 --> 00:20:25.354 A penis is not the most elegant genital. 531 00:20:25.394 --> 00:20:27.234 (LAUGHTER) 532 00:20:28.194 --> 00:20:29.394 -OK. Are we done? 533 00:20:29.434 --> 00:20:30.474 -Yeah. 534 00:20:30.514 --> 00:20:31.834 (LAUGHTER) 535 00:20:31.874 --> 00:20:33.314 -Back to you. 536 00:20:33.354 --> 00:20:34.874 -I've packed my bags and I'm ready to go. 537 00:20:34.914 --> 00:20:37.394 Paul, which fictional country are we heading to first? 538 00:20:37.434 --> 00:20:40.234 -First stop, it's Paulinga, with Tofiga. 539 00:20:41.514 --> 00:20:44.874 -Solomocapochi from the beautiful island of Paulinga! 540 00:20:44.914 --> 00:20:45.914 I want to tell you 541 00:20:45.954 --> 00:20:48.274 about the most beautiful place in the world. 542 00:20:48.314 --> 00:20:51.794 And when you greet people, you say, "Solomocapochi!" 543 00:20:51.834 --> 00:20:54.994 Which means, "Hi, how are ya? "Let's hopefully hook up. 544 00:20:55.034 --> 00:20:58.514 "And then after that we can chill and watch some Rugby League." 545 00:20:58.554 --> 00:21:00.154 Solomocapochi! 546 00:21:00.194 --> 00:21:02.114 Now, here on Paulinga, we have a population 547 00:21:02.154 --> 00:21:06.674 of 500 million people on a small island. 548 00:21:06.714 --> 00:21:09.914 It's summer all year round. That's right. 549 00:21:09.954 --> 00:21:12.954 Beautiful tan, nice chocolate brown. 550 00:21:12.994 --> 00:21:14.154 Yeah! 551 00:21:14.194 --> 00:21:18.674 The Paulingan people, they are called "Harrrrabunda!" 552 00:21:21.194 --> 00:21:22.434 -What are you filming? 553 00:21:22.474 --> 00:21:23.994 -Your dancing in it. 554 00:21:24.034 --> 00:21:25.274 -What? 555 00:21:25.314 --> 00:21:26.714 -You had a bunda dance. 556 00:21:32.354 --> 00:21:33.954 And what's even better 557 00:21:33.994 --> 00:21:36.994 is when they dance and sing at the same time! 558 00:21:37.874 --> 00:21:39.074 -It's really incredible. 559 00:21:39.114 --> 00:21:40.434 You should come to the country 560 00:21:40.474 --> 00:21:43.154 so you can see us dance and sing at the same time. 561 00:21:43.194 --> 00:21:44.674 -So, why won't you visit Paulinga. 562 00:21:44.714 --> 00:21:47.114 The beautiful island in the world! 563 00:21:47.154 --> 00:21:49.514 Yee-hee! Cheehoo! 564 00:21:49.554 --> 00:21:52.394 (SINGSONG) Solomocapochi! 565 00:21:53.394 --> 00:21:55.674 (APPLAUSE) 566 00:21:56.554 --> 00:21:59.474 -Five hundred million people on a tiny island! 567 00:21:59.514 --> 00:22:00.594 (LAUGHTER) 568 00:22:00.634 --> 00:22:01.874 -Paradise! 569 00:22:01.914 --> 00:22:02.954 -Yeah. 570 00:22:02.994 --> 00:22:05.754 So, that would make it the... 571 00:22:05.794 --> 00:22:06.874 -Third. 572 00:22:06.914 --> 00:22:08.354 -Third most populous place in the world. 573 00:22:08.394 --> 00:22:12.994 -Yes. China. India. Paulinga. United States of America. 574 00:22:13.034 --> 00:22:14.274 (LAUGHTER) 575 00:22:14.314 --> 00:22:15.794 -That dance was good. -Yes. 576 00:22:15.834 --> 00:22:17.154 -Couldn't do that dance again for us, could you? 577 00:22:17.194 --> 00:22:18.634 -Yes, please. 578 00:22:18.674 --> 00:22:19.914 -Come on. 579 00:22:19.954 --> 00:22:22.554 (APPLAUSE) 580 00:22:24.994 --> 00:22:27.154 (APPLAUSE) 581 00:22:27.194 --> 00:22:28.794 -Wow! 582 00:22:28.834 --> 00:22:30.754 -It originates because you have to kick everyone out of the way. 583 00:22:30.794 --> 00:22:31.914 -Yeah. 584 00:22:31.954 --> 00:22:33.994 -OK. I'd love to see some more countries. 585 00:22:34.034 --> 00:22:36.234 And I will after these ads. 586 00:22:36.274 --> 00:22:38.594 (APPLAUSE) 587 00:22:38.634 --> 00:22:40.634 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 588 00:22:44.034 --> 00:22:45.554 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 589 00:22:45.594 --> 00:22:48.914 (APPLAUSE) 590 00:22:48.954 --> 00:22:51.234 -Nau mai ano! Welcome back to 'Taskmaster'. 591 00:22:51.274 --> 00:22:52.794 Who's next, Paul? 592 00:22:52.834 --> 00:22:55.674 -She likes to live her life in a precious way. 593 00:22:55.714 --> 00:22:58.394 Showcasing Precious Land. It's Abby Howells. 594 00:23:00.554 --> 00:23:02.754 -Hello. My name is Abby Howells. 595 00:23:02.794 --> 00:23:05.674 And I am the ambassador for Precious Land. 596 00:23:05.714 --> 00:23:07.154 Garden of Eden, look out! 597 00:23:07.834 --> 00:23:10.114 We have an abundance of stone fruit. 598 00:23:10.154 --> 00:23:11.554 Juicy and delicious. 599 00:23:11.594 --> 00:23:13.434 We have an active volcano. 600 00:23:13.474 --> 00:23:15.914 It took out our whole financial district 601 00:23:15.954 --> 00:23:19.234 and it's contributed to many of our financial woes. 602 00:23:19.274 --> 00:23:21.554 I'm coming at you live from the toilet 603 00:23:21.594 --> 00:23:24.554 because that's where our economy is right now. 604 00:23:24.594 --> 00:23:28.394 Our head friend gave away all of our oil for some magic beans! 605 00:23:29.234 --> 00:23:32.994 This is Jean Pierre, one of our nation's top exports. 606 00:23:33.034 --> 00:23:35.754 And look how sad he is because of all the poverty. 607 00:23:35.794 --> 00:23:37.434 Something must be done! 608 00:23:37.474 --> 00:23:42.354 The people of Precious Land need you and we need your money. 609 00:23:42.394 --> 00:23:44.394 So, please donate now. 610 00:23:44.434 --> 00:23:47.274 Please. Our economy is in ruins. 611 00:23:47.314 --> 00:23:50.314 (APPLAUSE) 612 00:23:51.594 --> 00:23:53.474 OK, OK. 613 00:23:53.514 --> 00:23:56.114 -Abby, would you say that that's a tourism video? 614 00:23:56.154 --> 00:23:57.874 Or more of a plea for help? 615 00:23:57.914 --> 00:23:58.954 -Yeah... 616 00:23:58.994 --> 00:24:00.114 So, I was creating all this stuff. 617 00:24:00.154 --> 00:24:02.794 Like Precious Land has a healing spring, it has stone fruit... 618 00:24:02.834 --> 00:24:05.194 But I was like, it also has to have some realistic stuff. 619 00:24:05.234 --> 00:24:07.034 And, I guess, poverty. 620 00:24:07.074 --> 00:24:09.994 And then I got really focused on the poverty. 621 00:24:10.034 --> 00:24:12.114 (LAUGHTER) 622 00:24:12.154 --> 00:24:13.834 And that's what happened. 623 00:24:13.874 --> 00:24:16.194 But who say a country needs to be rich to be great? 624 00:24:16.234 --> 00:24:18.594 Look at Monaco. What are they doing? 625 00:24:18.634 --> 00:24:19.954 (APPLAUSE) 626 00:24:19.994 --> 00:24:22.234 -OK. Paul, I'm ready for another ad please. 627 00:24:22.274 --> 00:24:23.594 -We've seen Paulinga. 628 00:24:23.634 --> 00:24:26.234 Now showcasing Paulandia. 629 00:24:26.274 --> 00:24:27.674 It's Tom Sainsbury. 630 00:24:27.714 --> 00:24:29.434 -Welcome to Paulandia! 631 00:24:30.194 --> 00:24:32.394 Welcome to paradise! 632 00:24:32.434 --> 00:24:34.594 We have Paul Williams as king! 633 00:24:35.834 --> 00:24:36.874 -Hello. 634 00:24:37.514 --> 00:24:41.834 -Paulandia has so many beautiful tourist attractions, like the lake. 635 00:24:43.434 --> 00:24:45.714 Paulandia has so many fun activities. 636 00:24:45.754 --> 00:24:47.394 Like looking at the lake! 637 00:24:49.194 --> 00:24:53.274 Paulandia, where the people are blue eyed and musically gifted. 638 00:24:58.754 --> 00:25:01.634 And the national flower is flour! 639 00:25:01.674 --> 00:25:02.794 (LAUGHTER) 640 00:25:02.834 --> 00:25:06.154 And the national bird is a hat wearing duck! 641 00:25:06.194 --> 00:25:07.314 Hello. 642 00:25:07.354 --> 00:25:10.394 And now we will sing Paulandia national anthem.. 643 00:25:10.434 --> 00:25:11.514 Hit it! 644 00:25:12.234 --> 00:25:13.514 # Quack! 645 00:25:14.354 --> 00:25:15.474 # Quackity quack! 646 00:25:16.514 --> 00:25:18.074 # Quack all day! 647 00:25:18.954 --> 00:25:20.194 # Quack, quack, quack. 648 00:25:20.994 --> 00:25:23.634 # Quack! # 649 00:25:25.274 --> 00:25:27.274 So, come to Paulandia! 650 00:25:27.314 --> 00:25:30.314 Come to paradise! 651 00:25:32.714 --> 00:25:35.434 (APPLAUSE) 652 00:25:36.794 --> 00:25:37.994 Thank you. 653 00:25:38.034 --> 00:25:39.274 -OK, Tom. 654 00:25:39.314 --> 00:25:41.874 How do you feel about that national anthem? 655 00:25:41.914 --> 00:25:44.714 Because I've just written down here, "Not good." 656 00:25:44.754 --> 00:25:45.914 (LAUGHTER) 657 00:25:45.954 --> 00:25:48.674 I should have done the English version of it. 658 00:25:48.714 --> 00:25:51.754 I was doing the national language, which obviously you can't interpret. 659 00:25:51.794 --> 00:25:54.034 There's a full, rich, kind of, encouraging, you know, 660 00:25:54.074 --> 00:25:55.554 Paulandia... Like, there's a whole thing to it. 661 00:25:55.594 --> 00:25:56.674 -What's the translation? 662 00:25:56.714 --> 00:25:57.874 -Oh, yeah do it for us now. That'd be great. 663 00:25:57.914 --> 00:25:58.954 -OK, great. 664 00:25:59.994 --> 00:26:01.954 (SINGING) # Paulandia is great 665 00:26:01.994 --> 00:26:03.954 # Paulandia is fair 666 00:26:03.994 --> 00:26:06.194 # I love Paulandia 667 00:26:06.234 --> 00:26:08.474 # We all love Paulandia 668 00:26:08.514 --> 00:26:10.554 # We are here for 669 00:26:10.594 --> 00:26:13.714 -ALL (SINGING): # Paulandia! # 670 00:26:14.594 --> 00:26:15.594 -OK. 671 00:26:15.634 --> 00:26:17.554 (APPLAUSE) 672 00:26:17.594 --> 00:26:20.154 -So, in the translated version, the melody changes as well. 673 00:26:20.194 --> 00:26:22.194 -Yeah. -Right. OK. 674 00:26:22.234 --> 00:26:23.874 -OK. We've got another one. 675 00:26:23.914 --> 00:26:28.114 -Here with the next stop on our big O.E, Majoraland. 676 00:26:28.154 --> 00:26:29.634 It's Haley Sproull. 677 00:26:31.714 --> 00:26:33.794 (WITH EAST EUROPEAN ACCENT) -Hm, bananas! Or hello. 678 00:26:33.834 --> 00:26:35.994 And welcome from Majoraland. 679 00:26:36.034 --> 00:26:38.634 Here in the sex seas. I am Queen Minora. 680 00:26:38.674 --> 00:26:42.034 And this is my country, where everything is sexy 681 00:26:42.074 --> 00:26:43.914 and there is champagne on tap. 682 00:26:43.954 --> 00:26:45.394 Thank you, slave. 683 00:26:45.434 --> 00:26:46.794 Let me show you around. 684 00:26:49.154 --> 00:26:50.394 First things first. 685 00:26:50.434 --> 00:26:53.594 You might be thinking, "Queen Minora, why so many bananas?" 686 00:26:53.634 --> 00:26:55.394 That's because everything in Majoraland 687 00:26:55.434 --> 00:26:56.874 resemble my favorite thing. 688 00:26:57.554 --> 00:26:58.554 Bananas. 689 00:27:00.514 --> 00:27:01.874 (SCREAMING) Kill her! 690 00:27:02.834 --> 00:27:05.034 (LAUGHTER) 691 00:27:06.754 --> 00:27:07.914 -Mm! 692 00:27:07.954 --> 00:27:09.074 More bananas. 693 00:27:09.114 --> 00:27:12.394 Of course, you are also thinking, "Queen Minora you are so beautiful." 694 00:27:12.434 --> 00:27:14.834 Well, everybody in Majoraland beautiful. 695 00:27:14.874 --> 00:27:18.034 And if you're born with ugly dog face, we fix for free. 696 00:27:18.714 --> 00:27:19.874 He's on waiting list. 697 00:27:19.914 --> 00:27:21.674 (LAUGHTER) 698 00:27:22.794 --> 00:27:26.834 -And finally, everybody in Majoraland polyamory and bisexual. 699 00:27:26.874 --> 00:27:30.194 Whether it's Banana Monday or Taco Tuesday. 700 00:27:30.234 --> 00:27:32.474 (LAUGHTER) 701 00:27:32.514 --> 00:27:34.354 -So, if you want to live a life 702 00:27:34.394 --> 00:27:37.234 that is drunk, beautiful and bisexual, 703 00:27:37.274 --> 00:27:38.634 come to Majoraland! 704 00:27:39.594 --> 00:27:41.474 Go. I want to female slave today. 705 00:27:42.994 --> 00:27:44.874 Where is female slave? 706 00:27:44.914 --> 00:27:46.274 It's Taco Tuesday. 707 00:27:47.114 --> 00:27:50.114 (APPLAUSE) 708 00:27:52.354 --> 00:27:54.554 (LAUGHING) 709 00:27:54.594 --> 00:27:56.914 I think good use of the accent there. 710 00:27:56.954 --> 00:27:58.714 Not too cancellable. 711 00:27:58.754 --> 00:28:00.034 -No. 712 00:28:00.074 --> 00:28:01.674 -You know, just... -Where is it from, you know? 713 00:28:01.714 --> 00:28:03.154 -Little bit Romania. Little bit South America. 714 00:28:03.194 --> 00:28:04.274 -Yeah. 715 00:28:04.314 --> 00:28:05.674 -I think it was Melania Trump. 716 00:28:05.714 --> 00:28:07.914 -Yeah, it was. In so many ways. 717 00:28:07.954 --> 00:28:09.074 -In so many ways. 718 00:28:09.114 --> 00:28:10.674 -Yeah. 719 00:28:10.714 --> 00:28:12.954 Majoraland is a really beautiful, sexy place. 720 00:28:12.994 --> 00:28:14.354 And, um... 721 00:28:14.394 --> 00:28:17.834 -A beautiful, sexy place where slavery is still legal? 722 00:28:17.874 --> 00:28:20.314 -But only for those who have not yet fixed their faces. 723 00:28:20.354 --> 00:28:21.474 (LAUGHTER) 724 00:28:21.514 --> 00:28:25.674 -OK, we've got one country left to visit, Paul. Where is it? 725 00:28:25.714 --> 00:28:27.354 -Life is like a box of chocolates. 726 00:28:27.394 --> 00:28:29.554 You never know what you're going to get. 727 00:28:29.594 --> 00:28:30.874 Except in this instance 728 00:28:30.914 --> 00:28:33.194 when I tell you that you're going to get Ben Hurley 729 00:28:33.234 --> 00:28:35.154 talking to you about a country made of chocolate. 730 00:28:36.714 --> 00:28:38.674 -Hello. And wow! (LAUGHTER) 731 00:28:38.714 --> 00:28:41.354 Welcome to Continentilia! 732 00:28:41.394 --> 00:28:44.194 We are, an entire Continent Country Land. 733 00:28:44.234 --> 00:28:47.034 And I am the Prime Minister, Wally Winker. 734 00:28:47.074 --> 00:28:50.594 We are based on those chocolates that your parents like. 735 00:28:50.634 --> 00:28:52.994 And some people think we've been discontinued. 736 00:28:53.034 --> 00:28:54.274 Not true, Paul! 737 00:28:54.314 --> 00:28:55.354 Not true. 738 00:28:55.394 --> 00:28:57.034 Let's take a look! 739 00:28:57.074 --> 00:28:58.994 We have The Hazelnut Mountains. 740 00:28:59.034 --> 00:29:01.514 You'd have to be the nuts to climb these! 741 00:29:01.554 --> 00:29:02.634 (LAUGHTER) 742 00:29:02.674 --> 00:29:04.634 -The Great Dessert Desert. 743 00:29:04.674 --> 00:29:05.914 There's no water, 744 00:29:05.954 --> 00:29:08.474 but there is delicious milk chocolate. 745 00:29:08.514 --> 00:29:09.954 (LAUGHS) 746 00:29:09.994 --> 00:29:11.874 The Milk Swirl Geyser. 747 00:29:11.914 --> 00:29:13.274 (GASPS) 748 00:29:13.314 --> 00:29:16.474 And The Ancient Praline Pyramids. 749 00:29:16.514 --> 00:29:17.794 Legend has it, 750 00:29:17.834 --> 00:29:20.474 nobody actually knows what praline is. 751 00:29:21.194 --> 00:29:22.634 And the best part is, 752 00:29:22.674 --> 00:29:24.874 there are no dangers in Continentilia! 753 00:29:25.594 --> 00:29:26.834 Except diabetes. 754 00:29:27.434 --> 00:29:28.714 Continentalilia... 755 00:29:29.394 --> 00:29:30.714 Yum! 756 00:29:30.754 --> 00:29:32.114 (OMINOUS DRONING) 757 00:29:32.154 --> 00:29:33.394 (LIQUID CHOCOLATE GUSHING) 758 00:29:34.314 --> 00:29:37.314 (APPLAUSE) 759 00:29:38.314 --> 00:29:39.474 -Wow. 760 00:29:39.514 --> 00:29:41.554 -Wally Winker, could you do that walk for us? 761 00:29:41.594 --> 00:29:42.794 That was special. 762 00:29:42.834 --> 00:29:44.154 -Oh, yeah. 763 00:29:44.194 --> 00:29:45.394 Ooh! 764 00:29:45.434 --> 00:29:46.514 -Oh, wow. 765 00:29:46.554 --> 00:29:47.674 (APPLAUSE) 766 00:29:47.714 --> 00:29:49.954 Wally Winky. Wally Winky. -You know what? 767 00:29:49.994 --> 00:29:52.554 It was even me or Timothee Chalamet for that role. 768 00:29:52.594 --> 00:29:53.634 -ABBY: Yeah. 769 00:29:54.314 --> 00:29:56.674 -So, what happens if you're allergic to chocolate 770 00:29:56.714 --> 00:29:58.434 in this particular country? 771 00:29:58.474 --> 00:30:00.634 -Oh, you go to fanny land or whatever. 772 00:30:00.674 --> 00:30:02.194 (LAUGHTER) 773 00:30:02.234 --> 00:30:05.194 -OK, I suppose I've got to think, 774 00:30:05.234 --> 00:30:08.074 "Where's the place that I would most want to go?" 775 00:30:08.114 --> 00:30:10.154 You know, that's the only way to judge it. 776 00:30:10.194 --> 00:30:11.314 Abby's country.... 777 00:30:11.354 --> 00:30:12.914 I wouldn't ever want to go to that country. 778 00:30:13.674 --> 00:30:15.074 That's one point for Abby. 779 00:30:15.114 --> 00:30:19.714 I would also not like to go to Ben's country. 780 00:30:19.754 --> 00:30:20.874 He would get two points. 781 00:30:20.914 --> 00:30:21.954 -Oh. 782 00:30:21.994 --> 00:30:24.874 -I'm going to go three points for Tom. 783 00:30:25.754 --> 00:30:27.794 Four points for Tofiga. 784 00:30:27.834 --> 00:30:29.994 And five points for Hayley. 785 00:30:30.034 --> 00:30:31.114 -He loves the fanny! 786 00:30:31.154 --> 00:30:33.554 (APPLAUSE) 787 00:30:33.594 --> 00:30:37.234 Oh, good to see the 'Taskmaster' is pro-slavery! 788 00:30:37.274 --> 00:30:39.194 (LAUGHTER) 789 00:30:39.234 --> 00:30:41.154 -No, he's just pro-fanny, man. 790 00:30:41.194 --> 00:30:42.354 (LAUGHTER) 791 00:30:42.394 --> 00:30:44.034 Slave to the fanny. 792 00:30:44.074 --> 00:30:46.834 (LAUGHTER) 793 00:30:49.034 --> 00:30:50.714 -OK, that's it for part three. 794 00:30:50.754 --> 00:30:53.074 We'll give you a few moments to book your tickets to Paulandia 795 00:30:53.114 --> 00:30:56.274 to see the rare Hatted-Duck and stare at a lake. 796 00:30:56.314 --> 00:30:58.274 See you after this. Akuanei. 797 00:30:58.314 --> 00:31:00.234 (APPLAUSE) 798 00:31:00.274 --> 00:31:02.194 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 799 00:31:05.674 --> 00:31:06.994 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 800 00:31:07.034 --> 00:31:10.034 (APPLAUSE) 801 00:31:10.794 --> 00:31:12.514 -Welcome back to 'Taskmaster'. 802 00:31:12.554 --> 00:31:14.754 And to our viewers from Paulinga, 803 00:31:14.794 --> 00:31:16.354 Solomocapochi. 804 00:31:16.394 --> 00:31:18.434 It's our final episode of the season. 805 00:31:18.474 --> 00:31:20.354 The scoreboard is looking tight. 806 00:31:20.394 --> 00:31:24.514 And I believe Paul Williams, we have just one filmed task to go. 807 00:31:24.554 --> 00:31:25.914 -We certainly do, Jeremy. 808 00:31:25.954 --> 00:31:28.914 And I could not think of a better way to wrap things up. 809 00:31:30.754 --> 00:31:33.754 (LIVELY MARIACHI-STYLE MUSIC PLAYING) 810 00:31:37.954 --> 00:31:39.234 -Ha. 811 00:31:39.274 --> 00:31:40.274 -Hi, Paul. 812 00:31:40.314 --> 00:31:41.514 -Hello, Abby. 813 00:31:41.554 --> 00:31:42.554 Hello, Tofiga. 814 00:31:42.594 --> 00:31:43.914 -Hello, Paul. 815 00:31:43.954 --> 00:31:46.754 What we got here? -Food pyramid. 816 00:31:46.794 --> 00:31:48.954 Updated from the one that we used to get. 817 00:31:50.114 --> 00:31:51.554 OK. Why is there a microphone there? 818 00:31:51.594 --> 00:31:52.994 -Testing, testing. 819 00:31:53.714 --> 00:31:55.594 -Do you have a favorite one of those groups? 820 00:31:55.634 --> 00:31:57.514 -They don't have, like, sugar on here. 821 00:31:57.554 --> 00:31:59.954 If you don't do drugs, it's like the next best thing. 822 00:31:59.994 --> 00:32:01.194 -Here we go. 823 00:32:02.034 --> 00:32:03.794 -"Pick a food group." 824 00:32:04.474 --> 00:32:05.834 I'm gonna go vegetables. 825 00:32:05.874 --> 00:32:07.354 -Grains. 826 00:32:07.394 --> 00:32:08.514 -Dairy. 827 00:32:08.554 --> 00:32:10.114 -Alright. I'm just gonna go meat. 828 00:32:10.154 --> 00:32:11.274 -Fruit. 829 00:32:12.074 --> 00:32:13.074 Oh... 830 00:32:13.114 --> 00:32:14.234 -Ooh! 831 00:32:14.954 --> 00:32:17.034 (LAUGHS) 832 00:32:17.074 --> 00:32:19.354 -"Write and perform a rap..." 833 00:32:19.394 --> 00:32:22.034 -"advocating for why your food group is the best." 834 00:32:22.074 --> 00:32:23.714 -"Best verse wins." 835 00:32:23.754 --> 00:32:24.914 -"You have 30 minutes." 836 00:32:25.474 --> 00:32:27.434 -"Your time starts now." 837 00:32:27.474 --> 00:32:28.914 -Do you start with, "Yo, yo, yo"? 838 00:32:30.034 --> 00:32:31.434 -Would you like to hear the music? 839 00:32:31.474 --> 00:32:32.914 -Yes! -OK. 840 00:32:32.954 --> 00:32:34.514 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) -Yo. 841 00:32:35.434 --> 00:32:36.674 Gonna start with, "Yo". 842 00:32:36.714 --> 00:32:38.154 (LAUGHTER) -ABBY: Nice. 843 00:32:39.194 --> 00:32:40.234 -Yeah. 844 00:32:40.274 --> 00:32:41.674 -Beef... 845 00:32:41.714 --> 00:32:43.554 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 846 00:32:43.594 --> 00:32:45.474 -Queef? Probably not that. 847 00:32:45.514 --> 00:32:47.394 (LAUGHTER) 848 00:32:47.434 --> 00:32:48.794 (BANG) 849 00:32:50.754 --> 00:32:51.834 -OK. 850 00:32:51.874 --> 00:32:53.554 Bringing the house down already 851 00:32:53.594 --> 00:32:55.194 and we haven't even started, brother. 852 00:32:55.234 --> 00:32:57.194 -What's your favourite vegetable? -Potato. 853 00:32:57.234 --> 00:32:58.754 -Do you know, I don't really like potatoes. 854 00:32:59.554 --> 00:33:00.954 -Not even as fries. 855 00:33:00.994 --> 00:33:02.434 -You want a pineapple? 856 00:33:02.474 --> 00:33:04.234 Come be my guest. 857 00:33:04.274 --> 00:33:06.034 Dem... Where my berries at? 858 00:33:06.074 --> 00:33:07.154 (LAUGHTER) 859 00:33:07.194 --> 00:33:09.474 -What if I exclusively use the C-word. 860 00:33:09.514 --> 00:33:12.994 So, you can't broadcast anything that I say. 861 00:33:13.034 --> 00:33:16.034 Just be like, "Beep, beep, beep, milk" 862 00:33:16.714 --> 00:33:18.194 I'm gonna do that. 863 00:33:18.234 --> 00:33:20.754 (APPLAUSE) 864 00:33:22.554 --> 00:33:23.634 -Alright, Paul. 865 00:33:23.674 --> 00:33:26.034 Assuming these raps are actually broadcastable, 866 00:33:26.074 --> 00:33:27.714 who's verse we gonna hear first? 867 00:33:27.754 --> 00:33:29.834 -Here they are all at once. 868 00:33:30.914 --> 00:33:33.794 (MUSIC PLAYING) 869 00:34:55.074 --> 00:34:56.954 (LAUGHTER ERUPTS) 870 00:35:31.154 --> 00:35:32.154 -Yeah! 871 00:35:32.674 --> 00:35:33.754 What! 872 00:35:33.794 --> 00:35:34.994 Ooh! 873 00:35:35.714 --> 00:35:37.034 Yeah! 874 00:35:37.074 --> 00:35:38.074 Yeah! 875 00:35:38.554 --> 00:35:39.714 Yeah! 876 00:35:45.754 --> 00:35:47.594 (LAUGHS) 877 00:35:52.994 --> 00:35:54.034 -Oh! 878 00:36:25.714 --> 00:36:26.914 (LAUGHS) 879 00:36:26.954 --> 00:36:28.194 (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP). 880 00:36:29.434 --> 00:36:30.794 (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP). 881 00:36:31.634 --> 00:36:33.594 (BLEEP), (BLEEP)... 882 00:36:39.514 --> 00:36:41.634 (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP). 883 00:36:42.434 --> 00:36:44.314 (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP). 884 00:36:45.954 --> 00:36:47.314 (BLEEP). 885 00:36:50.754 --> 00:36:52.354 (BLEEP), (BLEEP). 886 00:36:53.434 --> 00:36:56.434 (APPLAUSE) 887 00:36:59.474 --> 00:37:00.714 -JEREMY: Very good. 888 00:37:00.754 --> 00:37:02.234 -Really good. 889 00:37:02.274 --> 00:37:03.474 -Very, very good. 890 00:37:03.514 --> 00:37:07.754 Although I have, say, the last image of 'Taskmaster' Season Five 891 00:37:07.794 --> 00:37:09.554 will be Abby Howells underneath a desk 892 00:37:09.594 --> 00:37:12.474 saying, "Cottage cheese (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP)". 893 00:37:12.514 --> 00:37:15.434 (LAUGHTER) 894 00:37:18.594 --> 00:37:21.034 -Nobody deserves to get one. -OK. 895 00:37:21.074 --> 00:37:22.114 -Nah. 896 00:37:22.154 --> 00:37:24.274 -I think, look, the fact that I didn't hear... 897 00:37:24.314 --> 00:37:26.274 there were probably four words that I heard of Abby's, 898 00:37:26.314 --> 00:37:28.874 means that it's hard to rate you highly. 899 00:37:28.914 --> 00:37:31.594 So, unfortunately, I'm going to have to give Abby two. 900 00:37:31.634 --> 00:37:34.514 I'm going to... No. Not Abby. 901 00:37:34.554 --> 00:37:37.474 (LAUGHTER) 902 00:37:38.274 --> 00:37:39.874 -I'm going to go Tom, three. 903 00:37:39.914 --> 00:37:43.554 Good flow, but a little bit focussed on bananas there towards the end. 904 00:37:43.594 --> 00:37:45.634 (LAUGHS) 905 00:37:45.674 --> 00:37:50.514 -I liked Tofiga because I like a socially conscious rapper. 906 00:37:50.554 --> 00:37:51.634 -Yeah. 907 00:37:51.674 --> 00:37:53.154 -So, three points there. 908 00:37:53.194 --> 00:37:54.954 Four points for Ben Hurley. 909 00:37:54.994 --> 00:37:57.834 And I think five points for Haley. She's very good. 910 00:37:57.874 --> 00:37:59.034 (APPLAUSE) 911 00:37:59.074 --> 00:38:03.234 -HJ Sprizzle. It's HJ Sprizzle. -It's HJ Sprizzle. That's right. 912 00:38:03.274 --> 00:38:05.874 OK, time for a quick break. 913 00:38:05.914 --> 00:38:09.154 And when we return, we'll find out which comedian 914 00:38:09.194 --> 00:38:13.194 will be the official champion of 'Taskmaster' Season Five. 915 00:38:13.234 --> 00:38:14.754 Don't miss it. We'll see you soon. 916 00:38:14.794 --> 00:38:17.114 (APPLAUSE) 917 00:38:17.154 --> 00:38:19.154 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 918 00:38:22.714 --> 00:38:24.034 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 919 00:38:24.074 --> 00:38:26.914 (APPLAUSE) 920 00:38:26.954 --> 00:38:28.074 -Kia ora ano. 921 00:38:28.114 --> 00:38:31.274 Welcome back to the season finale of 'Taskmaster'. 922 00:38:31.314 --> 00:38:35.834 There's still one more task to complete, but we get to that. 923 00:38:35.874 --> 00:38:38.994 Paul, can we have a scoreboard update, please? 924 00:38:39.034 --> 00:38:43.914 -Leading the pack by the slimmest of margins. Tofiga Fepulea'i. 925 00:38:43.954 --> 00:38:45.474 -OK, everyone. 926 00:38:45.514 --> 00:38:50.114 Please, head up to the stage for the final task of the season. 927 00:38:50.154 --> 00:38:53.154 (APPLAUSE) 928 00:38:55.434 --> 00:38:58.034 -Alright Paul, who's reading out the final task? 929 00:38:58.074 --> 00:38:59.914 -Abby Howells. 930 00:38:59.954 --> 00:39:00.954 -Congrats, Abby. 931 00:39:00.994 --> 00:39:02.274 -Thank you. Huge for me. 932 00:39:04.114 --> 00:39:08.354 "One by one, place an item on the table. 933 00:39:08.394 --> 00:39:12.394 "On your turn, you will have ten seconds to place an item. 934 00:39:12.434 --> 00:39:16.994 "Once you have touched an item, that is the item you must place. 935 00:39:17.034 --> 00:39:21.514 "If placing causes any item to fall, you will be eliminated. 936 00:39:21.554 --> 00:39:23.914 "Last person standing wins". 937 00:39:25.074 --> 00:39:26.234 -On my whistle. 938 00:39:26.274 --> 00:39:27.274 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 939 00:39:28.674 --> 00:39:31.034 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 940 00:39:35.274 --> 00:39:36.514 -Oh. 941 00:39:36.554 --> 00:39:37.634 -AUDIENCE: Oh! (LIGHT APPLAUSE) 942 00:39:39.954 --> 00:39:41.514 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 943 00:39:42.954 --> 00:39:44.994 -JEREMY: Oh, Chris Parker. Well done. 944 00:39:45.034 --> 00:39:46.514 (APPLAUSE) 945 00:39:49.154 --> 00:39:51.354 (APPLAUSE) 946 00:39:51.394 --> 00:39:52.834 -MAN: Oh! 947 00:39:54.034 --> 00:39:57.034 (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) 948 00:39:58.394 --> 00:39:59.714 (BALLOON EXPLODES) (ALL GASPING) 949 00:39:59.754 --> 00:40:02.034 (APPLAUSE) 950 00:40:02.914 --> 00:40:04.634 -Yep. Great. Yep, yep. 951 00:40:04.674 --> 00:40:07.474 -AUDIENCE: Ooh! (APPLAUSE) 952 00:40:07.514 --> 00:40:10.554 (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) 953 00:40:14.994 --> 00:40:16.114 -Three seconds. 954 00:40:16.154 --> 00:40:17.954 (APPLAUSE) 955 00:40:17.994 --> 00:40:19.274 AUDIENCE: Oh! 956 00:40:19.314 --> 00:40:20.394 -MAN: Oh, no! -Four seconds. 957 00:40:20.434 --> 00:40:22.274 -You got it, you got it, You got it, you got it. 958 00:40:22.314 --> 00:40:23.434 Abby, Abby, Abby! 959 00:40:23.474 --> 00:40:24.634 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 960 00:40:24.674 --> 00:40:27.034 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 961 00:40:27.074 --> 00:40:28.674 (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) 962 00:40:28.714 --> 00:40:31.434 (CHIMES RINGING) 963 00:40:32.354 --> 00:40:33.554 AUDIENCE: Aww! 964 00:40:33.594 --> 00:40:34.674 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 965 00:40:34.714 --> 00:40:36.514 -Hayley is eliminated. The umbrella fell. 966 00:40:36.554 --> 00:40:39.234 (APPLAUSE) The umbrella can be restacked. 967 00:40:41.234 --> 00:40:42.354 Oh, no. 968 00:40:43.834 --> 00:40:45.394 Yes. Yes. 969 00:40:46.634 --> 00:40:48.034 No, no. 970 00:40:48.994 --> 00:40:51.154 -ABBY: No. You've got it, Tom. -Three seconds. 971 00:40:53.314 --> 00:40:54.474 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 972 00:40:54.514 --> 00:40:56.754 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 973 00:40:56.794 --> 00:40:57.874 Oh my god. 974 00:40:58.474 --> 00:40:59.634 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 975 00:41:01.154 --> 00:41:03.394 (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE) 976 00:41:04.474 --> 00:41:05.474 -Yes. 977 00:41:06.954 --> 00:41:08.394 Come on... (WHISTLE BLOWS) 978 00:41:09.554 --> 00:41:11.714 -ALL: Aww! 979 00:41:11.754 --> 00:41:13.714 (APPLAUSE) 980 00:41:13.754 --> 00:41:15.234 (LIVELY MUSIC CONTINUES) 981 00:41:15.274 --> 00:41:16.954 AUDIENCE: Oh! 982 00:41:21.834 --> 00:41:24.074 (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) 983 00:41:25.594 --> 00:41:26.754 -TOM: Oh, no! I dropped... 984 00:41:27.754 --> 00:41:28.794 Oh, shit! 985 00:41:28.834 --> 00:41:30.914 -HAYLEY: It's OK. It's OK. (APPLAUSE) 986 00:41:30.954 --> 00:41:32.114 -HAYLEY: Oh, Abby. 987 00:41:41.074 --> 00:41:43.354 (APPLAUSE) 988 00:41:45.194 --> 00:41:46.194 -Three seconds. 989 00:41:48.194 --> 00:41:49.394 -Ugh! (WHISTLE BLOWING) 990 00:41:49.434 --> 00:41:51.554 (APPLAUSE) 991 00:41:51.594 --> 00:41:53.234 -So close. 992 00:41:55.754 --> 00:41:57.074 -Five seconds. 993 00:41:58.034 --> 00:41:59.394 -Lovely. 994 00:42:00.754 --> 00:42:03.634 (APPLAUSE) 995 00:42:04.954 --> 00:42:06.594 (APPLAUSE) 996 00:42:06.634 --> 00:42:07.714 -MAN: Come on, Abs. 997 00:42:07.754 --> 00:42:09.394 (INAUDIBLE CHATTER) 998 00:42:09.434 --> 00:42:11.074 -Three seconds. -Oh, no. 999 00:42:11.114 --> 00:42:13.074 -HAYLEY: You've got it, Abs! You've got it, Abs! 1000 00:42:13.114 --> 00:42:14.674 No! ALL: Aww! 1001 00:42:14.714 --> 00:42:16.914 (INAUDIBLE CHATTER) 1002 00:42:16.954 --> 00:42:18.554 (APPLAUSE) 1003 00:42:18.594 --> 00:42:21.154 -The winner of the live task is Tom Sainsbury. 1004 00:42:21.194 --> 00:42:22.194 (APPLAUSE) 1005 00:42:22.234 --> 00:42:23.234 -Good stuff, guys. 1006 00:42:23.274 --> 00:42:24.994 (APPLAUSE) 1007 00:42:25.034 --> 00:42:26.394 -Alright, come on down. 1008 00:42:26.434 --> 00:42:28.074 We'll add up the scores and find out 1009 00:42:28.114 --> 00:42:31.074 the winner of the episode of season five. 1010 00:42:31.114 --> 00:42:33.434 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 1011 00:42:34.074 --> 00:42:35.834 -Alright. What a game that was. 1012 00:42:35.874 --> 00:42:39.114 -So, one point for Hayley. Two points for Ben. 1013 00:42:39.154 --> 00:42:40.154 Three points Tofiga. 1014 00:42:40.194 --> 00:42:41.794 Four points for Abby. 1015 00:42:41.834 --> 00:42:45.354 And five points for the winner of the live task, Tom Sainsbury. 1016 00:42:45.394 --> 00:42:46.434 (APPLAUSE) 1017 00:42:46.474 --> 00:42:47.514 Finally. 1018 00:42:48.394 --> 00:42:51.634 -So, where does that leave us for the episode, Paul? 1019 00:42:51.674 --> 00:42:55.314 -That means the winner of episode ten, with 20 points, 1020 00:42:55.354 --> 00:42:58.114 represented by Chris Parker - it's Tofiga! 1021 00:42:58.154 --> 00:43:00.154 (APPLAUSE) -Congratulations, Chris Parker. 1022 00:43:00.194 --> 00:43:03.034 On behalf of Tofiga Fepulea'i, 1023 00:43:03.074 --> 00:43:06.354 please go up and enjoy your long lasting items, 1024 00:43:06.394 --> 00:43:08.634 for an appropriate length of time, 1025 00:43:08.674 --> 00:43:11.474 before coming back down for the prize that really matters. 1026 00:43:11.514 --> 00:43:14.274 Once again, Chris Parker ladies and gentlemen! For Tofiga! 1027 00:43:14.314 --> 00:43:17.074 (APPLAUSE) 1028 00:43:20.554 --> 00:43:22.274 -No, no, no, no! 1029 00:43:22.314 --> 00:43:25.114 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 1030 00:43:25.154 --> 00:43:27.874 -Alright, this is it. The moment of truth. 1031 00:43:27.914 --> 00:43:30.514 It's time to announce the winner of season five. 1032 00:43:30.554 --> 00:43:33.314 And what a season it has been. 1033 00:43:33.354 --> 00:43:36.354 From incredibly accurate tennis ball throws, 1034 00:43:36.394 --> 00:43:39.034 to incredibly inaccurate biopics. 1035 00:43:39.074 --> 00:43:42.554 From New Year's resolutions, to goal-scoring French revolutions. 1036 00:43:42.594 --> 00:43:46.834 We have seen it all, and it's all led us to this, Paul. 1037 00:43:46.874 --> 00:43:51.194 Would you please read out the winner of 'Taskmaster' Season five? 1038 00:43:51.874 --> 00:43:56.074 -In fifth place, with 147 points, Abby Howells! 1039 00:43:56.114 --> 00:43:58.314 (APPLAUSE) 1040 00:43:58.354 --> 00:44:04.234 -In fourth place with 156 points, it's Tofiga Fepulea'i! 1041 00:44:04.274 --> 00:44:07.234 (APPLAUSE) 1042 00:44:07.274 --> 00:44:10.394 -One point in front of him, with 157 points, 1043 00:44:10.434 --> 00:44:12.794 in third place, it's Tom Sainsbury! 1044 00:44:12.834 --> 00:44:15.034 (APPLAUSE) 1045 00:44:15.074 --> 00:44:16.874 Third! Third the Golden Princess. 1046 00:44:16.914 --> 00:44:22.274 -In second place, with 160 points, it's Ben Hurly! 1047 00:44:22.314 --> 00:44:24.034 (APPLAUSE) 1048 00:44:24.074 --> 00:44:25.394 -Well done. 1049 00:44:25.434 --> 00:44:27.194 (APPLAUSE) 1050 00:44:27.874 --> 00:44:29.834 -The winner of 'Taskmaster New Zealand' 1051 00:44:29.874 --> 00:44:30.874 Season Five... 1052 00:44:31.994 --> 00:44:34.354 with 166 points, 1053 00:44:34.394 --> 00:44:36.914 it's Hayley Sproull! 1054 00:44:36.954 --> 00:44:39.834 (APPLAUSE) 1055 00:44:39.874 --> 00:44:41.514 -Wow. 1056 00:44:41.554 --> 00:44:43.114 Oh, it's really heavy. -Well done. 1057 00:44:43.154 --> 00:44:45.514 (WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE) 1058 00:44:46.514 --> 00:44:50.154 -Please join me in offering a huge congratulations 1059 00:44:50.194 --> 00:44:52.794 to the winner of the season, Hayley Sproull! 1060 00:44:53.594 --> 00:44:55.314 Thank you so much for joining us. 1061 00:44:55.354 --> 00:44:56.554 Look after yourselves. 1062 00:44:56.594 --> 00:44:59.074 We'll see you again soon. Good night, Aotearoa! 1063 00:44:59.114 --> 00:45:01.874 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 1064 00:45:01.914 --> 00:45:04.914 (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) 1065 00:45:06.554 --> 00:45:09.554 Captioned by AI-Media ai-media.tv 1066 00:45:12.634 --> 00:45:13.714 -MAN: Woo-hoo! 1067 00:45:15.314 --> 00:45:17.594 (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING INCREASE) 1068 00:45:18.994 --> 00:45:20.434 -Mwah. (CHEERING) 1069 00:45:22.794 --> 00:45:25.794 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 72963

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