Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,490
So remember,
just do the task.
2
00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:57,030
Simply see the person's hands
and describe them.
3
00:00:58,299 --> 00:01:01,705
So you've got
a little roundy scar
4
00:01:01,739 --> 00:01:03,477
on the knuckle there.
5
00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:04,945
And, um...
6
00:01:04,978 --> 00:01:09,788
...you've got lovely long
fingers, really... nice nails.
7
00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:11,625
Don't judge.
8
00:01:11,659 --> 00:01:13,696
It's not about whether
the hand is good or bad.
9
00:01:13,729 --> 00:01:16,168
Just about observing,
paying attention.
10
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,237
OK?
11
00:01:18,239 --> 00:01:19,775
-May I?
-Yeah.
12
00:01:27,090 --> 00:01:28,759
OK, long fingers.
13
00:01:29,928 --> 00:01:31,265
There's a scratch there
14
00:01:31,298 --> 00:01:33,169
on the knuckle of
the index finger.
15
00:01:33,202 --> 00:01:34,506
Cat scratch.
16
00:01:34,539 --> 00:01:36,576
And there's another one there
just higher up.
17
00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:39,013
It veers off to the left a bit.
18
00:01:39,046 --> 00:01:42,287
The thumb has a little
bitten bit to the left
19
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,990
of the nail.
20
00:01:44,023 --> 00:01:47,697
And when you've done the task,
just the task, long enough,
21
00:01:47,731 --> 00:01:50,571
uh, you move up to their face,
22
00:01:50,604 --> 00:01:52,140
their eyes.
23
00:01:54,444 --> 00:01:57,585
And the top dark lash line
24
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:02,994
just cuts off the very tip of
the... the dark brown iris.
25
00:02:03,028 --> 00:02:05,032
And there's a...
there's a darker line
26
00:02:05,065 --> 00:02:06,735
around the outside of the iris.
27
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,648
And it's... it's hard not to
feel a... an intimacy.
28
00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:16,355
An almost instant intimacy
and a...
29
00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:18,993
An excitement?
30
00:02:19,026 --> 00:02:21,432
Yeah, for sure, an excitement
in the intimacy.
31
00:02:21,466 --> 00:02:25,106
And it's a good way to create
an intense intimacy
32
00:02:25,139 --> 00:02:27,612
between your actors
and sometimes with you.
33
00:02:27,645 --> 00:02:29,848
You know, and it's
an intimacy you'll feel
34
00:02:29,881 --> 00:02:31,118
very comfortable with.
35
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,488
It's our job.
36
00:02:32,521 --> 00:02:34,858
But they need to
understand this pact -
37
00:02:34,891 --> 00:02:35,960
what it's for,
38
00:02:35,994 --> 00:02:38,533
that the intimacy
is for the work.
39
00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,638
OK? Do you want to carry on?
40
00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:42,006
- Yep.
- Thank you.
41
00:02:46,215 --> 00:02:47,384
OK.
42
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,221
OK, well done.
43
00:02:52,294 --> 00:02:54,431
Ah,that's always a bad sign.
44
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,603
He was meant to stay
with our friend Renate,
45
00:02:56,636 --> 00:02:58,774
but he's peeing all over
the place and there's...
46
00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:00,243
Blood in the piss?
47
00:03:00,276 --> 00:03:01,879
Yeah, blood in the urine.
48
00:03:01,912 --> 00:03:04,384
Dearest,why do you say 'urine'?
49
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,120
Well, what do you
want me to say?
50
00:03:06,155 --> 00:03:08,627
I want you to tell mewhat's wrong with him.
51
00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:10,363
I am telling you
what's wrong with him.
52
00:03:10,396 --> 00:03:12,032
Is it cancer?
53
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,036
Yeah, tumour in his bladder.
54
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:16,442
What timing.
55
00:03:16,476 --> 00:03:18,212
Yeah, you could say that.
56
00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:21,486
I could say that, yes.I did just say that, didn't I?
57
00:03:21,519 --> 00:03:23,255
yeah, you did just say that.
58
00:03:23,289 --> 00:03:25,159
Every time you go on holiday,
59
00:03:25,193 --> 00:03:26,663
something bad happens.
60
00:03:26,696 --> 00:03:28,131
Well, it's not just a holiday.
61
00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:30,370
I've got work too
and that's harder to cancel.
62
00:03:30,403 --> 00:03:32,005
A visit toyour beloved dad
63
00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:33,976
is easier to cancel than work?
64
00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:36,516
-Oh! I get it.
-You actually do get it.
65
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,854
Yeah, it's true.
66
00:03:41,693 --> 00:03:43,630
I just don't know
if I can burden a friend
67
00:03:43,663 --> 00:03:44,965
with a dying dog.
68
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,740
Might only have two weeks
and we wouldn't be around.
69
00:03:48,774 --> 00:03:52,079
If he's in a lot of pain,you should put him down now.
70
00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:53,583
Mmm.
71
00:03:53,617 --> 00:03:55,788
Dogs don't showtheir suffering.
72
00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,591
That's why we love them.
73
00:03:57,625 --> 00:03:59,327
Is that why we love them?
74
00:03:59,361 --> 00:04:01,365
Dear daughter,you know you can't
75
00:04:01,398 --> 00:04:03,335
keep him aroundjust for your sake.
76
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,539
I'm just not sure we can
77
00:04:04,572 --> 00:04:06,709
say goodbye that fast
and get on a plane.
78
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,582
Don't hang onto him.
79
00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:11,719
It's the kindest thingyou could do.
80
00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:13,890
Maybe.
81
00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:18,232
I'll look after him.
82
00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:20,471
No, you've already got plans,
don't you?
83
00:04:20,504 --> 00:04:22,475
I've already
changed things around.
84
00:04:24,411 --> 00:04:26,281
I don't want him to suffer.
85
00:04:26,315 --> 00:04:28,453
You can't postpone your trip.
86
00:04:28,487 --> 00:04:30,958
Dad said I should put him
down now, not prolong it.
87
00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:34,331
Oh, right. Well, your fucking
father would say that.
88
00:04:34,364 --> 00:04:37,337
Sorry, Kirby was his gift.
89
00:04:37,370 --> 00:04:39,341
I feel like he's got
a say in it.
90
00:04:39,374 --> 00:04:40,376
Of course.
91
00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:42,413
What does he think
about your film?
92
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,817
I haven't talked to him
about it yet.
93
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:44,986
Oh.
94
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,022
Well, you could arrive
95
00:04:47,055 --> 00:04:48,960
to a house full of stray gays
96
00:04:48,994 --> 00:04:51,499
and he won't have time
for you or Frances.
97
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:52,668
Maybe.
98
00:04:54,705 --> 00:04:57,175
I picked up mince from
the butcher, and I read that
99
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,381
if you put the tablets
in that, he should eat it.
100
00:04:59,414 --> 00:05:00,717
If that doesn't work,
101
00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:02,755
get the vet to make it
into a flavoured liquid.
102
00:05:02,788 --> 00:05:05,158
Yeah, if he changes
energy levels or appetite,
103
00:05:05,191 --> 00:05:06,428
you let me know.
104
00:05:07,631 --> 00:05:09,066
Sorry.
105
00:05:09,099 --> 00:05:11,472
Yeah, well, the teaching
helps pay for the trip over,
106
00:05:11,506 --> 00:05:14,143
but we will see him.
107
00:05:14,176 --> 00:05:15,814
We're staying with him.
108
00:05:15,847 --> 00:05:17,383
Yeah,
we're staying with him, Mum.
109
00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:21,726
I'm going so I can see Dad,
so, yeah, of course.
110
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:25,801
Listen, I've got to go,
111
00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:27,303
but, uh, if he changes
even his gait
112
00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:31,277
or... or sleeping patterns,
you let me know, OK?
113
00:05:31,311 --> 00:05:32,781
Bye.
114
00:05:36,456 --> 00:05:37,891
Are you OK, Mum?
115
00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,797
I should have said,
"I love you."
116
00:05:40,831 --> 00:05:41,966
To Kirby?
117
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,670
No, to Mum. I just said, "Bye."
118
00:05:43,703 --> 00:05:45,474
I should have said,
"I love you."
119
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,053
Have a good flight.
120
00:05:55,961 --> 00:05:56,929
All good?
121
00:05:56,963 --> 00:05:58,933
Yeah, all good.
122
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,470
What did you want to talk about?
123
00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:04,545
It's OK. Now's not a good time.
124
00:06:04,578 --> 00:06:06,280
It's fine. Tell me.
125
00:06:06,313 --> 00:06:07,818
OK.
126
00:06:08,953 --> 00:06:11,391
I wanna live with Jimpa
for a bit.
127
00:06:11,425 --> 00:06:13,095
What do you mean?
128
00:06:13,128 --> 00:06:14,799
Mm, I was thinking
129
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,370
I could do Year 11
in Amsterdam with Jimpa.
130
00:06:17,403 --> 00:06:19,407
- No way.
- Why not?
131
00:06:21,846 --> 00:06:23,583
He's still recovering
from a stroke.
132
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,352
That was three years ago.
133
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,693
No way! It's an important year
next year and you're only 16.
134
00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:31,263
And we're your parents, not Jim.
135
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:32,634
Why don't you wait?
136
00:06:32,668 --> 00:06:35,372
Do it after graduation.
You can have a gap year.
137
00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:38,145
Because I need to experience
a bigger queer community
138
00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:39,949
than my shitty LGBT club
at school
139
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,283
in my shitty little city.
140
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,456
But you love school.
141
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,226
I used to.
142
00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,398
Is that why
you packed so much?
143
00:06:48,432 --> 00:06:51,004
You just thought
you'd stay there?
144
00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:53,877
Oh! What a waste
of a return flight.
145
00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:55,079
We could have saved a fortune!
146
00:06:55,112 --> 00:06:56,280
OK, let's talk about this later.
147
00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:57,918
But you asked me
to talk about it.
148
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,822
I feel like I need to
give you my full attention.
149
00:06:59,855 --> 00:07:01,258
I don't think I can do that
at the moment.
150
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,863
OK, well,
let's just all relax.
151
00:07:10,644 --> 00:07:11,779
Mum?
152
00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:12,948
Mmm?
153
00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:14,585
It's OK.
154
00:07:24,872 --> 00:07:27,310
Kirby wasa gift from my father.
155
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:31,017
One day he turned up withan uncontrollable puppy.
156
00:07:32,621 --> 00:07:35,861
I didn't want him,but I didn't get a choice.
157
00:07:36,963 --> 00:07:39,234
Says a lot about my dad.
158
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:42,975
The day my mumgave birth to me,
159
00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:45,378
my grandfather got onthe first flight to Adelaide.
160
00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:47,751
I wanted us to be alone
161
00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,722
with our newborn baby.
162
00:07:49,755 --> 00:07:51,859
But he rang fromthe front door
163
00:07:51,893 --> 00:07:53,228
with a painting.
164
00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:57,604
And my mumwas so happy to see him.
165
00:07:57,638 --> 00:07:59,608
And she said to me, "Frances,
166
00:07:59,642 --> 00:08:01,846
"this person willtell you about art
167
00:08:01,879 --> 00:08:04,985
"and politics and theatre.
168
00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:07,958
"He will challenge you to bethe best version of yourself."
169
00:08:09,193 --> 00:08:10,897
I simply said,
170
00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:13,970
"Frances, this isyour grandpa, Jim."
171
00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:16,341
But he thought 'grandpa'sounded too old.
172
00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:18,947
So he gave himself a new name.
173
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,382
He said...
174
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,088
"Hello, Frances. I'm Jimpa."
175
00:08:28,165 --> 00:08:30,904
The thing is,
I don't think I would be here
176
00:08:30,937 --> 00:08:35,547
openly trans, non-binary,
queer if it wasn't for him.
177
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,987
That's him sometime in the '50s.
178
00:08:41,157 --> 00:08:42,326
He loves art
179
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,896
and he loves to get naked.
180
00:08:45,199 --> 00:08:46,836
And he still has a painting
181
00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:49,340
that he sat for years agowhich hangs
182
00:08:49,374 --> 00:08:52,113
in his apartment in Amsterdam
for all to see.
183
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:58,125
He married my grandmother,Katherine, in 1973.
184
00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:00,530
They had Emily, my aunt,
185
00:09:00,563 --> 00:09:03,168
and Hannah, my mum.
186
00:09:03,201 --> 00:09:06,274
Right after my mum was born,Jimpa came out as gay.
187
00:09:14,257 --> 00:09:16,261
My grandma got really skinny
after this,
188
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,764
as well as a big perm,
189
00:09:17,798 --> 00:09:21,304
and everyone complimented her
on how amazing she looked.
190
00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:29,153
Uh, so, obviously it was
devastating for her.
191
00:09:30,355 --> 00:09:32,494
Uh, we expect
the... the narrative
192
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:35,165
of a husband
coming out to his wife
193
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:38,238
to follow the notes of
a big betrayal in a marriage.
194
00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:41,077
But she chose to
respond differently
195
00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:42,614
than what was expected.
196
00:09:42,647 --> 00:09:46,689
Um, they both decided
on a new bond -
197
00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:50,262
to stay together,
uh, to co-parent.
198
00:09:50,295 --> 00:09:52,299
Uh, also to have
other relationships.
199
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:57,176
But they chose kindness
rather than conflict.
200
00:09:57,209 --> 00:09:59,882
Jimpa always argues.
201
00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,485
Look, mate, you know...
202
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:02,854
I don't think...
203
00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:04,123
He worked in politics
204
00:10:04,157 --> 00:10:05,527
when my mum was little.
205
00:10:08,431 --> 00:10:10,904
And then duringthe AIDS crisis,
206
00:10:10,937 --> 00:10:13,275
he moved to Amsterdamto work in public health.
207
00:10:14,443 --> 00:10:16,482
And he's neverstopped fighting
208
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:20,591
for those he lovesand for who he is.
209
00:10:20,624 --> 00:10:22,961
All the while still enjoyinggetting naked.
210
00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:28,138
So it's a personal story
about my parents,
211
00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:32,480
um, and my main drive is to
tell the story of the kindness
212
00:10:32,514 --> 00:10:34,985
they showed to each other
over that period
213
00:10:35,018 --> 00:10:37,089
rather than the conflict.
214
00:10:38,358 --> 00:10:40,262
So it's a drama
without conflict.
215
00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:45,072
But...
216
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:48,245
...isn't drama by verydefinition conflict?
217
00:10:49,514 --> 00:10:52,286
I think it's possible
to make a compelling film
218
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,956
avoiding it completely.
219
00:10:55,158 --> 00:10:56,696
I don't think it is.
220
00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,634
I think you're wrong.
221
00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:02,974
See, is that conflict?
222
00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:05,212
Well, I think that's someone
223
00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:07,584
expressing a different opinion.
224
00:11:07,618 --> 00:11:09,253
A conflict of opinion.
225
00:11:10,389 --> 00:11:11,726
Therefore...
226
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,161
...conflict.
227
00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:15,701
Maybe.
228
00:11:17,269 --> 00:11:19,676
So he's not
just my grandpa.
229
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:23,148
I think he's my true
forever hero.
230
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,486
Any questions?
231
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:45,828
We should
wake Frances up.
232
00:11:48,466 --> 00:11:50,970
Don't. Let them sleep.
233
00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:56,648
It's probably just
a passing fancy,
234
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,552
the excitement of travel.
235
00:11:58,586 --> 00:12:00,758
So you do think it's a bad idea.
236
00:12:02,226 --> 00:12:04,196
I think once Frances
spends some time with Dad,
237
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:05,566
they'll soon change their mind.
238
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,136
Really?
239
00:12:07,169 --> 00:12:08,973
Frances idolises him.
240
00:12:09,006 --> 00:12:11,377
But they only see each other
once every couple of years
241
00:12:11,411 --> 00:12:12,782
and Frances has built up
242
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,451
this idea of him in their head.
243
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,122
And Dad can be very appealing,
244
00:12:17,156 --> 00:12:18,959
but just because
he's got all these great,
245
00:12:18,993 --> 00:12:20,328
very admirable ideals
246
00:12:20,362 --> 00:12:22,232
doesn't mean he necessarily
puts them into practice.
247
00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:24,336
Can you imagine
living with Dad for a year?
248
00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:25,874
No.
249
00:12:25,908 --> 00:12:28,579
And we don't want to be
the ones saying no to Frances.
250
00:12:28,612 --> 00:12:29,581
It doesn't help.
251
00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:31,518
I'm quite happy saying no.
252
00:12:31,552 --> 00:12:33,121
But you prefer Frances to be
253
00:12:33,154 --> 00:12:35,425
disappointed by your father
rather than by you.
254
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,264
Or...
255
00:12:38,431 --> 00:12:41,806
. ..we let Frances come to
understand Jim a bit better...
256
00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,443
. ..and make a better choice
then.
257
00:12:50,322 --> 00:12:52,059
Their food's getting cold.
258
00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:55,031
So the food gets cold.
Let them sleep.
259
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,371
Is making our daughter go hungry
260
00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,408
really worth avoiding
this conversation?
261
00:13:00,442 --> 00:13:03,381
Do you think Frances would
rather we use the word 'child'
262
00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:04,819
than 'daughter'?
263
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,990
Why don't we ask them?
264
00:13:27,597 --> 00:13:28,967
Richard!
265
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,437
What a beautiful sight!
266
00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:32,908
There he is.
267
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,477
Richard.
268
00:13:35,613 --> 00:13:36,783
Smiling.
269
00:13:40,422 --> 00:13:42,326
Hey.
270
00:13:42,359 --> 00:13:44,396
- Oh, look at you!
- Oh!
271
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,167
Oh, wow!
272
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,038
Sorry, we didn't sleep
much on the plane.
273
00:13:48,072 --> 00:13:50,141
Why are you
apologising? Do we smell?
274
00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:51,545
No, it's 'cause Richard's
275
00:13:51,578 --> 00:13:53,082
so perfectly put together.
276
00:13:53,114 --> 00:13:54,116
You're so stylish.
277
00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:55,418
Oh, thank you.
278
00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:58,257
Welcome, my smelly,
unfashionable Australians.
279
00:13:58,291 --> 00:14:00,261
Welkom in Amsterdam.
280
00:14:18,532 --> 00:14:19,701
Where's Dad?
281
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,505
The Professor is "working".
282
00:14:21,538 --> 00:14:23,843
He sent me to collect you
with the boat.
283
00:14:23,877 --> 00:14:25,445
-Oh, we're going by boat?
-Yeah, I know.
284
00:14:25,479 --> 00:14:27,083
It's ridiculous and touristy,
285
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,253
but he said that Frances
always loved the boat.
286
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,891
I'm not sure
we'll all fit in.
287
00:14:30,924 --> 00:14:33,595
Oh, let's just go. I really
need to eat something.
288
00:14:33,629 --> 00:14:34,965
Oh!
289
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,168
- Shut up.
- OK. Alright.
290
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,335
Let me grab this.
291
00:14:37,369 --> 00:14:38,639
- Wait, are they...
- Nuh-uh-uh.
292
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,293
Sorry!
293
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,157
As his valued
research assistant,
294
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,260
do you do many domestic errands?
295
00:15:06,293 --> 00:15:08,565
Who said anything about
research assistant?
296
00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:10,703
I'm his damn
everything assistant.
297
00:15:11,906 --> 00:15:14,210
At least for now.
298
00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,780
Is everything OK?
299
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,489
He's leaving the university
at the end of the month.
300
00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:22,727
Well, that wasn't gonna
last forever.
301
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,164
Mmm.
302
00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:28,973
Does that mean you won't
have a job after that?
303
00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:31,678
He says I will,
but I don't see how.
304
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:35,318
I'd follow him to the end of
the earth anyway.
305
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,490
You know what he'd say to that?
306
00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:40,863
"Be grateful
and fuckin' move on."
307
00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,504
Oh, it's so nice to see you.
308
00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:46,407
Well, it's really
nice to see you too.
309
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,543
Yeah.
310
00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:54,791
Where'd you get
that piece of shit?
311
00:15:54,824 --> 00:15:56,027
Oh!
312
00:15:57,429 --> 00:15:58,799
Why don't you borrow
one of mine?
313
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,204
No, no, don't you dare!
It's only got 27 shots.
314
00:16:01,238 --> 00:16:03,475
-Oh, OK, well, get it...
-Dad!
315
00:16:03,508 --> 00:16:05,378
-Why not?
-Give it back.
316
00:16:05,411 --> 00:16:06,882
It's mine!
317
00:16:11,124 --> 00:16:12,894
Very good.
318
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,299
Photographer!
Like father, like child.
319
00:16:15,332 --> 00:16:17,136
Whoa.
320
00:16:17,169 --> 00:16:18,705
Makes me sound
like a kid.
321
00:16:18,739 --> 00:16:20,977
Hiya! We're very wet!
322
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:24,083
Hey, um, I've been
meaning to ask.
323
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,321
Would you prefer
'daughter' or 'child'?
324
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:28,424
Hmm, I mean,
'daughter's not great,
325
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,095
but, um, I don't want you
to be calling me 'child'
326
00:16:30,129 --> 00:16:31,197
when I'm an adult.
327
00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:32,833
Dad still calls me child.
328
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,372
Because you'll always be
my child!
329
00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:37,043
Hello!
330
00:16:37,076 --> 00:16:39,647
It's the celebrity children!
331
00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:42,086
Come here, come here.
Oh!
332
00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:44,691
Never be afraid
to be called a child.
333
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:46,227
It's humbling.
334
00:16:46,261 --> 00:16:49,000
- Harry!
- Hi! Hello!
335
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:51,973
-How are you?
-My glorious grand-thing!
336
00:16:52,006 --> 00:16:54,979
Oh, you're all soggy.
337
00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,149
I told you it was going
to rain today, Richard.
338
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,685
No hugs for you.
339
00:16:58,719 --> 00:17:00,589
You also told me
to take out the boat.
340
00:17:00,622 --> 00:17:02,960
Yeah, think for yourself.
That's what I pay you for.
341
00:17:02,995 --> 00:17:06,768
Old man, that is the one thing
you do not pay me for.
342
00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:09,607
Oh, years later and not one
single sexual favour.
343
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:10,943
Dad!
344
00:17:10,976 --> 00:17:13,815
No, he's not good for anything
except making tea.
345
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:15,652
So go make tea, assistant.
346
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,256
Dad, you can't say this stuff.
347
00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:18,925
You don't know what you're
talking about, Professor.
348
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:20,929
- You never let me make tea.
- I'll make the tea.
349
00:17:20,963 --> 00:17:22,467
Yes, you go, Harry.
350
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:24,203
Milk in first,
otherwise you'll...
351
00:17:24,237 --> 00:17:25,539
. ..get pregnant.
352
00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:27,209
- Yeah.
- Look. Look, look, look, look.
353
00:17:27,243 --> 00:17:28,845
Look what I got out.
354
00:17:28,879 --> 00:17:30,382
-Ooh!
-Look.
355
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,920
Decades worth.
356
00:17:32,953 --> 00:17:35,325
Here. Uh, this one.
357
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,497
'Dorothy's Best Friend'.
358
00:17:37,531 --> 00:17:39,535
Hmm! What does that mean?
359
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:40,803
Oh!
360
00:17:40,836 --> 00:17:44,077
My dear grand-thing,
you have so much to learn.
361
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:47,015
That's when there was
such a thing as subtext.
362
00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:48,453
The unnamed.
363
00:17:48,486 --> 00:17:51,925
When we had to use euphemism
to show solidarity,
364
00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,498
to codify and identify.
365
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,632
That sounds horrifying.
366
00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:58,338
You're all text now.
367
00:17:58,371 --> 00:17:59,740
No subtext.
368
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,211
No nuance.
369
00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:03,849
Yeah, well, it's tough
not being repressed.
370
00:18:06,254 --> 00:18:08,725
'Talk with us, not about us'.
371
00:18:08,758 --> 00:18:11,599
Hobart, 1988.
372
00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:14,437
Yeah.
You see, Richard? Good memory.
373
00:18:14,471 --> 00:18:16,475
Well done, Professor.
374
00:18:16,509 --> 00:18:21,117
Ah, this one. '3rd
National Conference on AIDS'.
375
00:18:21,151 --> 00:18:25,259
We asked everyone with HIV
to take the stage.
376
00:18:26,761 --> 00:18:28,165
That was whenwe first discovered
377
00:18:28,198 --> 00:18:31,036
that 50% of the staffwere positive.
378
00:18:33,275 --> 00:18:34,877
Including me.
379
00:18:35,879 --> 00:18:38,452
It was a scary moment,
380
00:18:38,486 --> 00:18:39,454
but rallying.
381
00:18:41,691 --> 00:18:45,732
More than half would be dead
within only a few years.
382
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,039
As a friend of mine once said,
383
00:18:49,072 --> 00:18:51,811
"The toll of being
at the epicentre
384
00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:54,350
"was very large."
385
00:18:58,892 --> 00:19:01,264
'It's Not Just a Phase Week,
1984'.
386
00:19:01,297 --> 00:19:02,467
- Very cute.
- Hmm.
387
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,504
These are all for you.
388
00:19:05,473 --> 00:19:06,542
What?
389
00:19:06,575 --> 00:19:08,812
-I'm bequeathing them to you.
-Why?
390
00:19:08,845 --> 00:19:10,983
What, my daughter
doesn't want them?
391
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,920
Surely there's an archive
you can donate them to?
392
00:19:12,953 --> 00:19:14,458
Well, yes, but they're for you.
393
00:19:14,491 --> 00:19:16,127
I'll definitely take them.
394
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,131
I feel a bit ambushed -
this is quite morbid,
395
00:19:18,164 --> 00:19:19,967
like there's gonna be
the reading of a will.
396
00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:21,739
They're just badges!
397
00:19:21,771 --> 00:19:23,643
Why have you
decided to do this now?
398
00:19:23,676 --> 00:19:25,011
What's the doctor say?
399
00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:27,416
You worry too much.
400
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:29,621
I thought Frances would
like them and she did.
401
00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:30,690
They!
402
00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:31,725
Oh!
403
00:19:33,161 --> 00:19:36,167
Would they like to give me
another hug
404
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,103
or are they too busy
self-identifying?
405
00:19:38,138 --> 00:19:40,842
Why do you have to be
so provocative all the time?
406
00:19:40,876 --> 00:19:43,214
Oh, I missed you.
407
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,319
I love you too much!
408
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,522
I love you too, Richard.
409
00:19:46,555 --> 00:19:48,726
- Hmm.
- My beautiful assistant.
410
00:19:50,061 --> 00:19:51,230
I don't want your badges either,
411
00:19:51,264 --> 00:19:52,399
but thank you very much.
412
00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,370
Oh, shit!
It took me all morning.
413
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,508
- I cried twice.
- You did not!
414
00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:58,010
Three times.
415
00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:00,315
I might have a little lie-down.
416
00:20:00,349 --> 00:20:01,951
I didn't get much sleep
on the plane.
417
00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:03,988
-Mmm.
-You don't want your tea?
418
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,466
Blatant display of
heterosexuality.
419
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,867
That's enough now!
420
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,371
Oh, oh, oh.
421
00:20:11,404 --> 00:20:14,778
There's one
I especially wanted to find.
422
00:20:14,811 --> 00:20:15,847
Mmm?
423
00:20:25,298 --> 00:20:26,602
That's you.
424
00:20:26,635 --> 00:20:28,271
Yes!
425
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,819
Hmm?
426
00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:54,088
hmmm?
427
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,260
You should have woken me up.
428
00:20:58,298 --> 00:20:59,801
You're too cute
when you sleep.
429
00:20:59,835 --> 00:21:01,404
Why would I wake you up?
430
00:21:01,437 --> 00:21:03,476
I wanted to get through
some work
431
00:21:03,509 --> 00:21:05,613
so I could spend the day
with Dad and Frances.
432
00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:07,450
They know you have to work.
433
00:21:07,484 --> 00:21:09,821
Yeah, I know, but it doesn't
mean they like it.
434
00:21:11,892 --> 00:21:13,394
Are you afraid that Frances
435
00:21:13,428 --> 00:21:15,298
will spend some time alone
with Jim?
436
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,979
At some point,
he is gonna hurt Frances.
437
00:21:22,011 --> 00:21:24,818
Yeah. Isn't that your plan?
438
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:27,322
Frances spends time with Jim.
439
00:21:27,356 --> 00:21:30,127
He eventually disappoints them
440
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,198
and they change their mind
441
00:21:32,231 --> 00:21:34,135
about wanting to live here
for a year.
442
00:21:35,070 --> 00:21:37,108
Yeah, but there is
a difference between
443
00:21:37,141 --> 00:21:38,679
being disappointed
and being hurt.
444
00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:41,317
So talk to our child.
445
00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:43,421
Tell them what to expect.
446
00:21:45,793 --> 00:21:48,130
He said, "I love you,"
to Frances.
447
00:21:48,163 --> 00:21:49,935
And to Richard.
448
00:21:51,069 --> 00:21:52,640
He never used to say,
"I love you."
449
00:21:52,674 --> 00:21:54,075
He used to say, "You show love
450
00:21:54,108 --> 00:21:55,680
"with actions, not empty words."
451
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,521
He's softened since the stroke.
452
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:01,959
He's different.
453
00:22:03,662 --> 00:22:05,933
Your cunning plan
might not work.
454
00:22:07,737 --> 00:22:09,808
Oh. Maybe.
455
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:15,920
Hmm.
456
00:22:15,953 --> 00:22:17,457
Go get 'em, tiger.
457
00:22:39,298 --> 00:22:41,269
I love it. I really do.
458
00:22:42,372 --> 00:22:45,244
I do find it hard to believethere wasn't any conflict
459
00:22:45,277 --> 00:22:49,086
when your dadfinally left you at...
460
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:50,321
13.
461
00:22:50,355 --> 00:22:51,892
...13.
462
00:22:52,827 --> 00:22:55,966
Conflict would have been thereeven if it's repressed.
463
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,373
I think any 13-year-old
would be sad
464
00:22:59,406 --> 00:23:00,843
being without their father.
465
00:23:00,876 --> 00:23:02,613
Why did he leave, then?
466
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:06,187
After staying with your motherfor so long after coming out?
467
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,557
Uh, work.
468
00:23:07,590 --> 00:23:10,863
As a gay man and a political
one, he hit a ceiling,
469
00:23:10,896 --> 00:23:12,467
and, uh...
470
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,103
. ..he needed to find
opportunities
471
00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:16,641
in a more progressive
part of the world.
472
00:23:17,744 --> 00:23:18,779
OK.
473
00:23:18,812 --> 00:23:21,485
So there is conflict therefor him.
474
00:23:21,518 --> 00:23:26,026
Do I stay with my family andsacrifice my own ambition?
475
00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:28,799
Or do I owe it to myself
476
00:23:28,832 --> 00:23:31,838
to fully explore who I amand my opportunities?
477
00:23:31,872 --> 00:23:34,409
But he hit the ceilingand he made the choice
478
00:23:34,443 --> 00:23:35,813
at the expense of his family.
479
00:23:35,846 --> 00:23:37,784
The family accepted him,
480
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:39,253
loved him,
481
00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,892
he was able to be himself,but...
482
00:23:41,925 --> 00:23:43,394
...still left them.
483
00:23:44,396 --> 00:23:45,499
You weren't hurt
484
00:23:45,533 --> 00:23:47,334
or angry at your fatherleaving?
485
00:23:48,336 --> 00:23:52,914
Uh, we understood
that he needed to leave.
486
00:23:52,947 --> 00:23:54,551
What matters to me
487
00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:57,790
is how hard everyone tried
to do the right thing.
488
00:23:57,824 --> 00:24:00,529
Uh, it's not important
if I was hurt or angry.
489
00:24:00,563 --> 00:24:02,700
What if I'm angry now,
for instance?
490
00:24:03,635 --> 00:24:05,004
You're angry now?
491
00:24:05,038 --> 00:24:08,177
Mmm. Would it help
to express it?
492
00:24:08,211 --> 00:24:10,181
Uh, I'm not so sure.
493
00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,585
And would it help
with this meeting
494
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,154
or us working together?
495
00:24:13,187 --> 00:24:14,791
Definitely not.
496
00:24:17,530 --> 00:24:20,335
O... ok, um...
497
00:24:22,239 --> 00:24:24,076
Fuck me.
498
00:24:31,925 --> 00:24:33,160
Hello?
499
00:24:33,194 --> 00:24:34,329
Hello?
500
00:24:36,233 --> 00:24:37,302
Hello?
501
00:24:37,335 --> 00:24:38,572
Hello.
502
00:24:41,778 --> 00:24:44,517
I bet he hasn't
left one for you.
503
00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:45,619
Oh!
504
00:24:45,653 --> 00:24:47,322
You should take it
while you're here.
505
00:24:48,892 --> 00:24:50,996
I'm sorry we've taken over
your bedroom.
506
00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:53,234
Well, it's definitely not
my bedroom.
507
00:24:54,837 --> 00:24:56,875
And I've been staying here
less and less.
508
00:25:07,964 --> 00:25:09,032
You think...
509
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,345
Oh!
510
00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:18,518
It was convenient for a while,
but now not so much.
511
00:25:18,552 --> 00:25:20,622
Have you moved
closer to Amsterdam?
512
00:25:20,656 --> 00:25:24,196
No, no, it's just I need to
work when I'm in town
513
00:25:24,229 --> 00:25:26,668
and, you know, your father
takes up a lot of time.
514
00:25:26,701 --> 00:25:29,206
He does demand attention.
515
00:25:29,239 --> 00:25:32,178
I've been wanting to talk
to him about it for a while.
516
00:25:32,212 --> 00:25:33,682
I see.
517
00:25:36,153 --> 00:25:37,923
He's still struggling.
518
00:25:37,957 --> 00:25:39,727
Emily said.
519
00:25:39,761 --> 00:25:41,397
Since your sister left,
520
00:25:41,430 --> 00:25:43,935
Richard's been doing
most of the heavy lifting.
521
00:25:43,969 --> 00:25:45,639
He has sent me a lot of articles
522
00:25:45,672 --> 00:25:47,008
and grant applications
523
00:25:47,042 --> 00:25:50,517
to finish off
and smooth out when I can.
524
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,419
You shouldn't be
the one covering for him.
525
00:25:53,789 --> 00:25:55,926
I'm sorry none of us
have been here to help.
526
00:26:00,636 --> 00:26:02,807
You can stop looking after him.
527
00:26:03,842 --> 00:26:04,944
Hmm.
528
00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:10,354
You sound like him.
529
00:26:14,997 --> 00:26:16,501
Over the years, he has taught me
530
00:26:16,535 --> 00:26:18,905
to need him
less and less, but...
531
00:26:20,074 --> 00:26:21,176
But he's still hurt
532
00:26:21,210 --> 00:26:22,581
that you're not around as much.
533
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,452
Hmm. Yeah.
534
00:26:26,621 --> 00:26:28,090
Thank you, Matti.
535
00:26:28,124 --> 00:26:29,259
Hot, I hope.
536
00:26:29,292 --> 00:26:30,729
If only you were hot.
537
00:26:31,831 --> 00:26:33,167
You have to be careful
with steroids
538
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,436
if you're taking warfarin.
539
00:26:34,470 --> 00:26:35,839
Why are you taking steroids?
540
00:26:35,873 --> 00:26:38,645
A date the other week
said I looked too skinny.
541
00:26:38,678 --> 00:26:39,981
- A date?
- Yes!
542
00:26:40,014 --> 00:26:41,350
He means a hook-up.
543
00:26:41,383 --> 00:26:44,824
You've looked exactly the same
for 97 years, Mark.
544
00:26:44,857 --> 00:26:46,528
You've had no problem before.
545
00:27:11,711 --> 00:27:14,618
Whoo!
546
00:27:17,355 --> 00:27:19,827
Steroids don't work on old men.
547
00:27:19,860 --> 00:27:21,699
I sense you've already tried.
548
00:27:21,731 --> 00:27:22,866
Of course.
549
00:27:24,470 --> 00:27:27,108
But what are you into, Frances?
550
00:27:27,141 --> 00:27:28,545
What can we help you with?
551
00:27:28,578 --> 00:27:30,281
Uh, 'into'?
552
00:27:30,314 --> 00:27:31,751
Are you a lesbian?
553
00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:33,320
Don't be so old.
554
00:27:33,354 --> 00:27:35,826
What? That's not
a bad question, is it?
555
00:27:35,859 --> 00:27:38,330
You can't be a lesbian
if you're not a woman.
556
00:27:38,364 --> 00:27:39,399
Oh.
557
00:27:39,432 --> 00:27:41,904
I like women
and I'm also attracted to
558
00:27:41,938 --> 00:27:44,175
people who don't identify
as a gender either way
559
00:27:44,209 --> 00:27:45,713
but are a bit femme.
560
00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,516
I love how much your generation
561
00:27:47,549 --> 00:27:48,785
knows what they want.
562
00:27:48,818 --> 00:27:50,288
It doesn't sound like anything.
563
00:27:50,321 --> 00:27:53,093
It's not a preference,
it's a non-preference.
564
00:27:53,127 --> 00:27:54,195
So...
565
00:27:54,229 --> 00:27:55,599
. ..you don't like men.
566
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,168
Cis men.
567
00:27:57,201 --> 00:27:58,404
Penis?
568
00:27:58,437 --> 00:28:00,074
I don't know.
569
00:28:00,107 --> 00:28:02,245
Jim, can we talk about
how unsatisfying
570
00:28:02,278 --> 00:28:03,948
getting your penis sucked
is now?
571
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:05,051
Oh, you too?
572
00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:06,655
I feel it's getting
lower and lower
573
00:28:06,689 --> 00:28:08,057
on my pleasure scale.
574
00:28:08,090 --> 00:28:10,495
That's because
you go straight for hole.
575
00:28:10,529 --> 00:28:12,866
Oh, you're right.
I do love ass too much.
576
00:28:14,202 --> 00:28:17,976
Frances has still not
stated a preference.
577
00:28:19,947 --> 00:28:23,220
Well, genitals aren't really
what attracts me to people.
578
00:28:23,253 --> 00:28:24,791
How are we talking
about genitals
579
00:28:24,825 --> 00:28:26,594
all of a sudden, anyway?
580
00:28:26,627 --> 00:28:28,330
Because you're talking to us.
581
00:28:28,364 --> 00:28:30,034
It's all for show, Frances.
582
00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:32,473
We mostly talk about
real estate now.
583
00:28:32,506 --> 00:28:34,409
In that regard, Amsterdam
has gotten much better.
584
00:28:34,442 --> 00:28:36,012
You're such a conservative.
585
00:28:36,046 --> 00:28:37,215
I'm just being encouraging
586
00:28:37,248 --> 00:28:39,352
towards Frances's idea
of moving here.
587
00:28:40,589 --> 00:28:42,425
You know,Amsterdam used to be about
588
00:28:42,459 --> 00:28:45,398
squatter protests and housing
rights, but the government's
589
00:28:45,431 --> 00:28:47,135
free-market push is a disgrace.
590
00:28:47,168 --> 00:28:48,972
♪ Don't leave me this way... ♪
591
00:28:49,005 --> 00:28:50,207
None of my students will be
592
00:28:50,241 --> 00:28:51,410
able to buy in their lifetimes.
593
00:28:51,443 --> 00:28:52,546
♪ I can't survive... ♪
594
00:28:52,579 --> 00:28:54,048
And the sale of
social housing
595
00:28:54,082 --> 00:28:55,284
has only increased the problem.
596
00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:58,090
Says the man who owns
one of those apartments.
597
00:28:58,123 --> 00:28:59,960
-Hmm!
-♪ Oh, baby ♪
598
00:28:59,994 --> 00:29:04,068
♪ Don't leave me this way... ♪
599
00:29:04,102 --> 00:29:06,809
This is their way of getting
me to change the subject.
600
00:29:06,842 --> 00:29:08,578
♪ I will surely miss ♪
601
00:29:08,611 --> 00:29:10,549
♪ Your tender kiss ♪
602
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,220
♪ So don't leave me this way ♪
603
00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:16,461
♪ Oh, baby ♪
604
00:29:16,494 --> 00:29:19,432
♪ My heart is full of loveAnd desire for you ♪
605
00:29:19,467 --> 00:29:22,438
♪ So come on down and doWhat you gotta do ♪
606
00:29:22,473 --> 00:29:25,813
♪ You started this fireDown in my soul ♪
607
00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:27,315
♪ Now can't you see it'sBurning ♪
608
00:29:27,348 --> 00:29:28,953
-♪ Out of control ♪
-♪ Out of control ♪
609
00:29:28,985 --> 00:29:30,221
♪ Out of control... ♪
610
00:29:36,869 --> 00:29:39,841
A clean desk is
a sign of a sick mind.
611
00:29:39,875 --> 00:29:42,445
Sit anywhere you like.
I won't be long.
612
00:30:05,927 --> 00:30:07,361
Hello!
613
00:30:07,395 --> 00:30:08,363
Hi!
614
00:30:08,397 --> 00:30:09,633
Who is it?
615
00:30:09,667 --> 00:30:10,903
It's me.
616
00:30:10,937 --> 00:30:13,541
You should say your name,
not just hello.
617
00:30:13,575 --> 00:30:16,112
Don't know who it is or
what you want, otherwise.
618
00:30:16,146 --> 00:30:18,183
You do like self-identifying,
you hypocrite.
619
00:30:19,821 --> 00:30:21,490
Hello, it's me,
your daughter, Hannah.
620
00:30:21,524 --> 00:30:23,862
That's it? Just a daughter?
621
00:30:23,896 --> 00:30:28,671
And a filmmaker
and a mother and a woman.
622
00:30:28,705 --> 00:30:29,740
Is that better?
623
00:30:29,773 --> 00:30:31,176
Impressive.
624
00:30:32,445 --> 00:30:35,284
So Mirjam gave me her key today
625
00:30:35,317 --> 00:30:37,623
'cause someone didn't
leave one behind for me.
626
00:30:37,656 --> 00:30:39,359
Who else has a key
to the apartment?
627
00:30:39,392 --> 00:30:40,462
No-one.
628
00:30:40,495 --> 00:30:43,735
Like my body,
my home is my temple.
629
00:30:43,768 --> 00:30:46,239
And what happens
if you have another stroke?
630
00:30:46,272 --> 00:30:47,643
Oh, god.
631
00:30:47,676 --> 00:30:49,513
If I have another stroke,
632
00:30:49,546 --> 00:30:51,885
even if you're here,
go out and have a coffee.
633
00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:53,220
Jimpa!
634
00:30:53,253 --> 00:30:54,657
No, I'm deadly serious.
635
00:30:54,690 --> 00:30:56,192
Let me die.
636
00:30:56,226 --> 00:30:58,464
A diminished life
is no life for me at all.
637
00:30:58,498 --> 00:30:59,868
A diminished life?
638
00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:01,269
That's a little bit ableist,
Jimpa.
639
00:31:02,572 --> 00:31:04,375
So, is that why
no-one else has a key?
640
00:31:04,409 --> 00:31:05,779
Well, of course.
641
00:31:05,812 --> 00:31:06,882
No-one.
642
00:31:06,915 --> 00:31:08,651
That's everyone
off the hook, then.
643
00:31:08,685 --> 00:31:11,389
No-one feels the need
to check up on me.
644
00:31:11,423 --> 00:31:14,395
And if you keep calling
and there's no answer,
645
00:31:14,429 --> 00:31:17,169
wait a week before
you break the door down.
646
00:31:17,201 --> 00:31:18,538
I should be dead by then.
647
00:31:18,571 --> 00:31:20,542
Richard has a key.
648
00:31:20,575 --> 00:31:22,378
Oh, yes, Richard has a key.
649
00:31:22,411 --> 00:31:24,215
And although my sister lives
in another country,
650
00:31:24,248 --> 00:31:25,652
I bet she still has a key.
651
00:31:25,685 --> 00:31:27,055
Well, of course Emily has a key.
652
00:31:27,089 --> 00:31:28,223
She lived here for three years
653
00:31:28,256 --> 00:31:30,095
while she looked after me
like an angel.
654
00:31:30,128 --> 00:31:31,362
I should have a key.
655
00:31:31,396 --> 00:31:33,201
You most certainly
will need a key,
656
00:31:33,233 --> 00:31:34,470
if you're gonna live here.
657
00:31:34,503 --> 00:31:37,075
Have you talked
about that, have you?
658
00:31:39,813 --> 00:31:43,353
Yeah, it was my idea, even
before Frances mentioned it.
659
00:31:43,386 --> 00:31:44,790
I was thinking she needed...
660
00:31:44,823 --> 00:31:46,127
They, Jim. They.
661
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,765
. ..they needed to get out of
Adelaide
662
00:31:48,798 --> 00:31:50,635
before it suffocates them.
663
00:31:50,668 --> 00:31:53,541
I love Adelaide, by the way,
664
00:31:53,574 --> 00:31:56,412
and I'm very glad you made
something of yourself there
665
00:31:56,446 --> 00:31:57,749
when I wasn't able to.
666
00:31:57,783 --> 00:32:00,054
- Thank you.
- Fucking miracle.
667
00:32:05,165 --> 00:32:07,803
Yeah, it's an idea
that Frances just had.
668
00:32:07,836 --> 00:32:09,807
We haven't had a chance
to talk about it much.
669
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,777
Even the small part of Amsterdam
670
00:32:11,811 --> 00:32:14,016
that I saw with Jimpa today
just felt so good.
671
00:32:14,049 --> 00:32:15,953
It feels like a proper city.
672
00:32:15,986 --> 00:32:18,491
Hm. The timing
couldn't be more perfect.
673
00:32:18,524 --> 00:32:20,061
I... I think it's perfect.
674
00:32:20,094 --> 00:32:21,898
What do you think?
675
00:32:23,634 --> 00:32:25,437
I think Frances is too young.
676
00:32:25,471 --> 00:32:26,707
For what?
677
00:32:27,642 --> 00:32:30,447
Well, Harry doesn't mean
'too young' exactly.
678
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,154
I think what Harry means is
679
00:32:33,187 --> 00:32:36,126
that you're a child for such
a short amount of time
680
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,299
and then there's so much life
that happens afterwards.
681
00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:42,205
But that time as a young
person, as a young family,
682
00:32:42,239 --> 00:32:44,442
is limited and then...
683
00:32:44,476 --> 00:32:47,249
. ..you know, then it's gone
and you can't get it back.
684
00:32:48,952 --> 00:32:52,659
But also Amsterdam is full of
people who've had to leave
685
00:32:52,692 --> 00:32:54,363
in order to survive
686
00:32:54,395 --> 00:32:57,401
or, you know,
find who they are or...
687
00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:59,974
Like, you know, my own father,
for instance.
688
00:33:00,008 --> 00:33:02,746
So who am I to say what...
what a person needs?
689
00:33:06,387 --> 00:33:09,092
Are you making your
pea and ham soup?
690
00:33:09,126 --> 00:33:10,528
Yeah.
691
00:33:10,561 --> 00:33:12,499
Yeah, for a little gathering
we're having tomorrow.
692
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,801
- Ham?
- Yeah.
693
00:33:13,834 --> 00:33:15,705
Dad used to make it for me
all the time.
694
00:33:15,738 --> 00:33:18,311
Don't worry, I'll make
something for you vegans.
695
00:33:18,344 --> 00:33:19,947
Right,
I'll make something for us.
696
00:33:23,154 --> 00:33:29,166
♪ Un bel dì,Vedremo ♪
697
00:33:30,201 --> 00:33:36,013
♪ Levarsi un fil di fumo ♪
698
00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:43,594
♪ Sull'estremo confin ♪
699
00:33:43,627 --> 00:33:48,037
♪ Del mare ♪
700
00:33:48,070 --> 00:33:51,276
♪ E poi ♪
701
00:33:51,310 --> 00:33:56,720
♪ La nave appare ♪
702
00:33:56,754 --> 00:34:01,430
♪ Chi sarà? Chi sarà? ♪
703
00:34:01,464 --> 00:34:04,870
♪ E come sarà giunto ♪
704
00:34:04,903 --> 00:34:10,181
♪ Che dirà? Che dirà? ♪
705
00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:14,890
♪ Chiamerà "Butterfly" ♪
706
00:34:14,923 --> 00:34:18,664
♪ Dalla lontana ♪
707
00:34:18,697 --> 00:34:22,405
♪ Lo senza dar risposta ♪
708
00:34:22,439 --> 00:34:25,445
♪ Me ne starò nascosta ♪
709
00:34:25,479 --> 00:34:28,851
♪ Un po' per celia ♪
710
00:34:28,884 --> 00:34:31,857
♪ E un po' ♪
711
00:34:31,890 --> 00:34:35,798
♪ Per non morire ♪
712
00:34:35,832 --> 00:34:37,969
♪ Al primo incontro... ♪
713
00:34:41,710 --> 00:34:43,482
Dennis?
714
00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:46,053
I want you to meet
my grand-thing, Frances.
715
00:34:46,086 --> 00:34:48,390
You two should
sit down and talk.
716
00:34:48,424 --> 00:34:50,428
You know Dennis.
We used to be together.
717
00:34:50,462 --> 00:34:51,564
Hi, Dennis.
718
00:34:51,598 --> 00:34:53,834
And your grandfather
is a huge cunt.
719
00:34:55,606 --> 00:34:56,974
And now we're
just good friends.
720
00:34:57,007 --> 00:34:58,811
Oh, the best,
best friends.
721
00:34:58,844 --> 00:35:00,248
- Let's chat later, OK?
- Please, yeah.
722
00:35:00,281 --> 00:35:02,050
- Great.
- Uh, everyone!
723
00:35:02,085 --> 00:35:03,555
Everyone!
724
00:35:03,588 --> 00:35:07,896
If you haven't met my
grand-thing, this is Frances.
725
00:35:07,929 --> 00:35:09,666
Hi, Frances!
726
00:35:09,699 --> 00:35:12,606
I want you to introduce
yourself to them.
727
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,546
Yes, Frances is one of
those young people
728
00:35:15,579 --> 00:35:20,988
who... suddenly has no gender,
for some reason.
729
00:35:21,022 --> 00:35:23,961
So please respect that.
730
00:35:23,994 --> 00:35:25,331
Uh, anyway,
731
00:35:25,364 --> 00:35:28,605
I know most of you
might be aware that my life
732
00:35:28,638 --> 00:35:31,611
is going through
a small transition right now.
733
00:35:31,644 --> 00:35:36,853
I am finishing up my work
at the university.
734
00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:39,694
-No, no. Boo!
-No, no, no, no.
735
00:35:39,726 --> 00:35:40,895
I know, I know.
736
00:35:40,928 --> 00:35:42,533
But it's time I moved on from...
737
00:35:42,566 --> 00:35:44,869
. ..some of you old farts
anyway.
738
00:35:44,903 --> 00:35:46,440
But... but don't worry -
739
00:35:46,474 --> 00:35:50,214
I'm not ready to sit behind
my geraniums just yet.
740
00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:53,622
In fact,
I've just been on a call
741
00:35:53,655 --> 00:35:57,328
with a certain organisation
in Helsinki
742
00:35:57,362 --> 00:35:59,266
about a job opportunity.
743
00:35:59,299 --> 00:36:03,675
Yes. That's in Finland,
boys and girls.
744
00:36:03,708 --> 00:36:06,346
So I just wanted you all
to be aware.
745
00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:07,882
They haven't made up
their minds.
746
00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:10,086
I haven't made up my mind.
747
00:36:10,121 --> 00:36:12,726
But I want to acquaint you
with the possibility...
748
00:36:20,676 --> 00:36:22,912
Ok, so... ok, what do i do?
749
00:36:22,945 --> 00:36:25,151
Keep your body still
except for your arms.
750
00:36:25,184 --> 00:36:28,056
Uh-huh. OK, yeah.
Like I said, the arms.
751
00:36:28,089 --> 00:36:29,660
-Arms.
-And marching.
752
00:36:29,694 --> 00:36:32,030
Marching, marching.
753
00:36:32,064 --> 00:36:34,269
Make the arms, like,
intentional.
754
00:36:34,302 --> 00:36:36,541
Tiny steps. Uh-huh.
755
00:36:36,574 --> 00:36:39,044
And... no.
756
00:36:39,078 --> 00:36:40,682
What?
757
00:36:40,716 --> 00:36:42,653
-It has intention.
-OK, show me, show me.
758
00:36:42,686 --> 00:36:44,989
You don't have to go,
like, fast all the time.
759
00:36:45,023 --> 00:36:48,798
You can go slow, slow.
Slow, slow, slow.
760
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,436
- Ba-ba-ba.
- Hey!
761
00:36:51,471 --> 00:36:54,209
Soft. Soft. Soft.
762
00:36:54,242 --> 00:36:56,647
And...and do soft.
763
00:36:59,754 --> 00:37:01,122
Whoo-hoo!
764
00:37:23,768 --> 00:37:24,870
I knew it.
765
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:27,476
Hmm.
766
00:37:27,509 --> 00:37:29,713
Leading Frances on like that.
767
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,249
Oh?
768
00:37:31,283 --> 00:37:33,855
Encouraging the idea of
them moving over
769
00:37:33,888 --> 00:37:35,759
and then the next minute saying
770
00:37:35,792 --> 00:37:37,896
you've got job opportunities
in another country.
771
00:37:37,930 --> 00:37:40,099
When did you organise that?
772
00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:41,938
Mirjam hadn't said anything.
773
00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:44,107
Oh, you've seen Mirjam?
774
00:37:44,141 --> 00:37:45,745
Yeah, she's at the party now.
775
00:37:45,779 --> 00:37:46,914
Is she?
776
00:37:46,948 --> 00:37:48,149
Yeah.
777
00:37:48,182 --> 00:37:49,986
And she gave me her key
yesterday, remember?
778
00:37:50,019 --> 00:37:52,358
Oh, yes.
779
00:37:52,391 --> 00:37:54,663
See, sometimes I don't know
if you've lost your memory
780
00:37:54,697 --> 00:37:56,299
or you just don't care
about these things.
781
00:37:57,603 --> 00:37:59,104
Come here.
782
00:38:00,709 --> 00:38:03,715
We haven't had
nearly enough cuddles yet.
783
00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:05,685
OLDER Mmm!
784
00:38:09,425 --> 00:38:11,998
I'm sure it was just
a passing fancy.
785
00:38:13,300 --> 00:38:15,337
The excitement of
coming to see me.
786
00:38:17,375 --> 00:38:19,813
Are you taking a new job
in a new country?
787
00:38:21,851 --> 00:38:23,152
Shouldn't I?
788
00:38:23,185 --> 00:38:25,223
Why don't you retire and just...
789
00:38:25,257 --> 00:38:26,494
And be an old man?
790
00:38:26,527 --> 00:38:28,698
-Water my geraniums?
-Yeah, why not?
791
00:38:28,731 --> 00:38:30,569
Because there's so much
to fight for.
792
00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:32,806
Because work is everything.
793
00:38:32,839 --> 00:38:34,309
Oh, it isn't everything.
794
00:38:34,342 --> 00:38:36,914
Oh, look who's talking.
795
00:38:38,618 --> 00:38:40,822
We need to feel useful,
796
00:38:40,855 --> 00:38:42,993
the two of us, hmm?
797
00:38:43,026 --> 00:38:44,227
Mmm.
798
00:38:44,261 --> 00:38:47,001
Mm-hm! Mademoiselle!
799
00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:48,738
Hmm. OK.
800
00:38:48,771 --> 00:38:50,809
But Professor Jim
said to me that
801
00:38:50,842 --> 00:38:53,145
teenagers can't be
into polyamory.
802
00:38:53,179 --> 00:38:54,683
They just like to cheat.
803
00:38:54,717 --> 00:38:56,921
Jim's never been
monogamous in his life.
804
00:38:58,056 --> 00:38:59,927
Also, non-monogamous
is so different
805
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:00,962
from polyamorous.
806
00:39:00,996 --> 00:39:02,031
True.
807
00:39:02,064 --> 00:39:04,302
Well, I'm still
working that out.
808
00:39:05,639 --> 00:39:07,976
We know, baby, we know.
809
00:39:08,010 --> 00:39:09,078
We know.
810
00:39:11,450 --> 00:39:13,020
I'm definitely into polyamory.
811
00:39:13,053 --> 00:39:14,890
I'm a big believer
in compersion.
812
00:39:16,894 --> 00:39:19,065
Oh, my God! I love you.
813
00:39:19,098 --> 00:39:21,369
I love you too!
814
00:39:22,739 --> 00:39:25,444
So, what do we think?
815
00:39:25,478 --> 00:39:27,048
- Wow!
- Cute!
816
00:39:27,081 --> 00:39:28,584
It looks cute on you.
817
00:39:28,618 --> 00:39:29,753
-Oooh!
-It's cute.
818
00:39:29,787 --> 00:39:31,221
Thank you.
819
00:39:31,255 --> 00:39:33,761
Frances certainly doesn't
see you as useless.
820
00:39:33,795 --> 00:39:38,036
I thought you didn't want
Frances to move over here.
821
00:39:38,070 --> 00:39:40,475
Well, it's not up to me
to tell them what to do.
822
00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:41,777
I want to support Frances.
823
00:39:41,811 --> 00:39:43,046
Well, so do I.
824
00:39:46,086 --> 00:39:48,123
Ah!
825
00:39:51,429 --> 00:39:52,733
Hey, where are you?
826
00:39:52,766 --> 00:39:54,703
I'm standing in the hallway.
827
00:39:54,737 --> 00:39:56,072
OK.
828
00:39:56,106 --> 00:39:58,711
Um, can I go out with Isa?
829
00:39:58,745 --> 00:40:00,782
She's a friend of Richard,she's 19
830
00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:02,953
and she likes thatI know about compersion.
831
00:40:02,986 --> 00:40:05,289
- What's compersion?
- Compersion.
832
00:40:05,323 --> 00:40:07,027
It's taking pleasure in
833
00:40:07,061 --> 00:40:09,297
witnessing someone else'spleasure
834
00:40:09,331 --> 00:40:11,236
but not related to you.
835
00:40:11,268 --> 00:40:13,339
It's a polyamory thing.
836
00:40:13,373 --> 00:40:14,643
OK.
837
00:40:14,676 --> 00:40:17,414
'OK' I can go outwith Isa, 'OK'?
838
00:40:17,448 --> 00:40:18,918
She's 19.
839
00:40:18,951 --> 00:40:20,187
Well, does Richard have
840
00:40:20,220 --> 00:40:21,891
this 19-year-old Isa's
phone number?
841
00:40:21,924 --> 00:40:23,292
I got her number.
842
00:40:23,325 --> 00:40:25,799
-She's spunky, Hannah.
-Spunky? Ugh.
843
00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,302
Have fun, Frances,
844
00:40:28,335 --> 00:40:30,475
and don't come back till
you've got a story to tell.
845
00:40:30,508 --> 00:40:32,343
Thank you, Jimpa.
846
00:40:34,783 --> 00:40:36,152
She's hot.
847
00:40:37,388 --> 00:40:38,724
And smart.
848
00:40:39,893 --> 00:40:41,564
And very nice.
849
00:40:43,768 --> 00:40:45,237
You set this up.
850
00:40:45,270 --> 00:40:47,107
Frances is 16!
851
00:40:47,141 --> 00:40:49,078
I remember you at 16.
852
00:40:49,111 --> 00:40:50,582
Yeah, but you do realise
853
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:51,884
Frances has no experience
whatsoever?
854
00:40:51,917 --> 00:40:53,385
Really?
855
00:40:53,420 --> 00:40:55,424
Yeah, it's like they know
the lyrics to the song
856
00:40:55,458 --> 00:40:56,927
but they've never
sung it out loud.
857
00:40:57,963 --> 00:41:00,000
You don't know if you can sing
858
00:41:00,033 --> 00:41:01,804
until you sing.
859
00:41:02,973 --> 00:41:04,342
Hmm.
860
00:41:05,310 --> 00:41:07,181
Are you ready to see Amsterdam?
861
00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:08,985
Yeah!
862
00:41:14,730 --> 00:41:18,136
Here you can go... I think
it's open 24 hours, so...
863
00:41:18,169 --> 00:41:20,040
♪ Young hearts ♪
864
00:41:20,073 --> 00:41:21,877
♪ Run free ♪
865
00:41:21,911 --> 00:41:24,248
♪ Never be hung up ♪
866
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:28,491
♪ Hung up likeMy man and me... ♪
867
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,530
You don't sing?
868
00:41:31,563 --> 00:41:33,199
Oh, no, I love to sing.
869
00:41:33,233 --> 00:41:34,803
You're cute.
870
00:41:34,836 --> 00:41:36,306
♪ Ooh, young hearts... ♪
871
00:41:36,339 --> 00:41:37,976
To the lesbian bar!
872
00:41:38,009 --> 00:41:39,479
Yes, let's go!
873
00:41:41,182 --> 00:41:42,919
I'm definitely
not a woman,
874
00:41:42,953 --> 00:41:44,556
but I'm still into women.
875
00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:46,259
Is it OK that I'm here?
876
00:41:48,330 --> 00:41:50,200
-Roosje.
-Mmm?
877
00:41:50,233 --> 00:41:51,402
This is Frances.
878
00:41:51,436 --> 00:41:53,273
They're non-binary.
Are they welcome here?
879
00:41:53,306 --> 00:41:55,310
-Oh, fuck, yes.
-Yes.
880
00:41:55,344 --> 00:41:57,281
- Cheers!
- Ah, ja, ja, ja.
881
00:41:57,314 --> 00:41:59,486
She knows her shit.
882
00:42:01,824 --> 00:42:05,330
So you and Bis are... something?
883
00:42:07,101 --> 00:42:09,372
We've been together
since high school.
884
00:42:11,477 --> 00:42:13,346
Since before he transitioned.
885
00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:16,119
And I like his new,
uh, qualities.
886
00:42:16,152 --> 00:42:17,321
His more masc energy.
887
00:42:17,354 --> 00:42:19,793
What?
888
00:42:20,995 --> 00:42:22,264
And... and you two are...
889
00:42:22,297 --> 00:42:23,701
are monogamous or...
890
00:42:28,076 --> 00:42:29,780
That's what's great
about being queer, right?
891
00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:31,650
How we state things -
892
00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:33,587
by what our boundaries are,
893
00:42:33,621 --> 00:42:35,023
by what we want.
894
00:42:36,092 --> 00:42:37,361
Yeah.
895
00:42:37,394 --> 00:42:39,566
I want you, Isa.
896
00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:41,002
Exactly.
897
00:42:42,472 --> 00:42:43,741
For example.
898
00:42:45,143 --> 00:42:46,279
Exactly.
899
00:42:46,312 --> 00:42:47,816
Right.
900
00:42:53,461 --> 00:42:55,330
You're still cleaning up!
901
00:42:55,363 --> 00:42:57,536
You're still cleaning up too.
902
00:43:07,989 --> 00:43:10,260
You didn't want
to go out with the others?
903
00:43:11,329 --> 00:43:12,566
Not really.
904
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:13,968
You?
905
00:43:15,103 --> 00:43:16,105
No.
906
00:43:16,139 --> 00:43:18,076
Well,
907
00:43:18,109 --> 00:43:20,815
if you're gonna stay up
like an anxious mother...
908
00:43:22,050 --> 00:43:23,319
. ..you can have another drink.
909
00:43:24,557 --> 00:43:26,192
'Anxious mother' sounds old.
910
00:43:26,225 --> 00:43:27,795
Not old.
911
00:43:27,829 --> 00:43:29,198
Older.
912
00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,937
Aren't you, like, 10 years
older than me?
913
00:43:31,970 --> 00:43:33,406
-12.
-Nothing!
914
00:43:55,718 --> 00:43:57,555
No lovers waiting for you, then?
915
00:44:01,429 --> 00:44:03,366
Just a few boys here and there.
916
00:44:22,839 --> 00:44:24,509
How about you sing me a song?
917
00:44:28,718 --> 00:44:29,986
What?
918
00:44:31,155 --> 00:44:32,291
Come on!
919
00:44:34,764 --> 00:44:35,831
Please.
920
00:44:43,881 --> 00:44:46,887
♪ I wanna see you ♪
921
00:44:49,224 --> 00:44:52,130
♪ Dressed all in white... ♪
922
00:44:54,401 --> 00:44:57,942
♪ You're the queenOf my living room ♪
923
00:44:57,975 --> 00:45:01,516
♪ Sit by the window and smoke ♪
924
00:45:01,550 --> 00:45:04,421
♪ Like you're saving a life ♪
925
00:45:06,661 --> 00:45:09,834
♪ And I wanna dance ♪
926
00:45:12,137 --> 00:45:15,210
♪ Your hands on mine ♪
927
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:21,322
♪ I'm the queen ofThis crowded room ♪
928
00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:24,596
♪ Wanna be next to you ♪
929
00:45:24,629 --> 00:45:28,772
♪ Tell me one drink at a time ♪
930
00:45:31,342 --> 00:45:34,949
♪ And it's all my fault ♪
931
00:45:34,983 --> 00:45:37,254
♪ I know ♪
932
00:45:37,287 --> 00:45:40,326
♪ I wanna be yours ♪
933
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,032
♪ For sure ♪
934
00:45:43,065 --> 00:45:45,971
♪ I'm trying my best ♪
935
00:45:46,005 --> 00:45:48,845
♪ For you ♪
936
00:45:49,946 --> 00:45:51,248
♪ For you ♪
937
00:45:53,987 --> 00:45:57,093
♪ And I wanna be good... ♪
938
00:45:58,664 --> 00:46:02,003
♪ But it's gonna take time ♪
939
00:46:04,944 --> 00:46:07,916
♪ So steal all my cigarettes ♪
940
00:46:07,950 --> 00:46:11,388
♪ Tell me that I'm the best ♪
941
00:46:11,422 --> 00:46:14,428
♪ Everything'sGonna be fine... ♪
942
00:46:15,932 --> 00:46:18,872
What do you know
about compersion?
943
00:46:24,314 --> 00:46:26,486
It's the opposite
to jealousy.
944
00:46:27,856 --> 00:46:29,827
It's a polyamory thing.
945
00:46:31,630 --> 00:46:33,366
How do you know about it?
946
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,044
It's just wanting
someone you love
947
00:46:39,077 --> 00:46:40,849
to be happy and fulfilled.
948
00:46:42,485 --> 00:46:44,087
It's a nice idea.
949
00:46:52,738 --> 00:46:56,111
♪ And it's all my fault ♪
950
00:46:56,145 --> 00:46:58,818
♪ I know ♪
951
00:46:58,851 --> 00:47:02,758
♪ I wanna be yours... ♪
952
00:47:02,793 --> 00:47:05,832
♪ For sure ♪
953
00:47:05,865 --> 00:47:09,237
♪ I'm trying my best ♪
954
00:47:09,271 --> 00:47:12,277
♪ For you ♪
955
00:47:13,412 --> 00:47:17,320
♪ For you ♪
956
00:47:20,226 --> 00:47:22,163
Were you pretending to sleep?
957
00:47:23,835 --> 00:47:26,039
No, I think I was
trying to sleep.
958
00:47:28,510 --> 00:47:29,813
Did you have fun?
959
00:47:32,384 --> 00:47:34,489
-I had the best time, Mum.
-Oh!
960
00:47:34,522 --> 00:47:36,861
Yay, I'm so glad.
961
00:47:38,030 --> 00:47:39,532
So you liked Isa?
962
00:47:40,768 --> 00:47:42,370
I'm in love.
963
00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:48,851
Guys.
964
00:47:48,885 --> 00:47:50,587
But I'm in love, Dad.
965
00:47:50,621 --> 00:47:52,591
- Yeah, great.
- Oh!
966
00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:56,099
Oh, don't!
967
00:48:02,678 --> 00:48:03,981
- There you go.
- Thank you.
968
00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:05,184
Tell us about your film.
969
00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,820
Thank you, Matti. Hot, I hope.
970
00:48:06,854 --> 00:48:09,025
It's impossible for it
to be any hotter, Jim.
971
00:48:09,058 --> 00:48:10,694
Yes, you haven't told us
about your film yet.
972
00:48:10,728 --> 00:48:12,430
I'm just trying to cast it
right now.
973
00:48:12,465 --> 00:48:15,303
Why don't you just put your
mouth under the machine, Jim?
974
00:48:15,336 --> 00:48:17,273
Your film?
975
00:48:17,307 --> 00:48:19,880
Hannah hasn't told me a thing
about it. She's avoiding it.
976
00:48:19,913 --> 00:48:20,915
Why?
977
00:48:20,949 --> 00:48:22,752
So she's bisexual?
978
00:48:22,785 --> 00:48:23,855
Who?
979
00:48:23,888 --> 00:48:25,124
Isa, the student.
980
00:48:25,157 --> 00:48:27,762
There's no such thing
as bisexuality.
981
00:48:27,795 --> 00:48:30,333
- Oh!
- OK, maybe tone it down a bit.
982
00:48:30,366 --> 00:48:31,836
Tone what down?
983
00:48:31,871 --> 00:48:34,075
What? I'm just trying to talk
about these things openly.
984
00:48:34,108 --> 00:48:35,711
Are you sure you talking openly
985
00:48:35,744 --> 00:48:38,083
isn't just you wanting to
express your opinion?
986
00:48:38,116 --> 00:48:40,087
So, what is a conversation
987
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,756
except a collision of opinions?
988
00:48:41,790 --> 00:48:44,897
Uh, a conversation can also be
working towards agreement.
989
00:48:44,930 --> 00:48:46,866
Says the only straight person
at the table.
990
00:48:47,969 --> 00:48:49,605
Yeah, but, you know,
it's more complex
991
00:48:49,639 --> 00:48:51,242
than you are making it out to be
992
00:48:51,276 --> 00:48:53,280
because you have actually
been in love with women.
993
00:48:54,314 --> 00:48:55,952
My mother, for instance.
994
00:48:55,985 --> 00:48:57,288
Is...
995
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,058
Is that what your film is about?
996
00:48:59,091 --> 00:49:01,196
About what?
997
00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:03,166
Me and your mother?
998
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,302
Not exactly.
999
00:49:08,777 --> 00:49:12,084
If you say you're bi,
you're just confused.
1000
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:14,121
If you're attracted to
the same sex, you're gay.
1001
00:49:14,155 --> 00:49:15,423
It's as simple as that.
1002
00:49:15,457 --> 00:49:17,294
If you say otherwise,
you're in denial.
1003
00:49:17,328 --> 00:49:19,967
- Here we go.
- I never said Isa was bi.
1004
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,137
You know how many men
have said to me
1005
00:49:22,171 --> 00:49:24,642
that they're straight
while sucking my cock?
1006
00:49:24,675 --> 00:49:27,514
You can't be straight
with a dash of gayness.
1007
00:49:27,548 --> 00:49:29,452
He's just being provocative
for the sake of it.
1008
00:49:29,485 --> 00:49:30,487
- Mmm.
- Ignore him.
1009
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,024
No, I once heard someone say
1010
00:49:32,057 --> 00:49:33,727
that they're 'mostly straight'.
1011
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,530
Now, what the hell
does that mean?
1012
00:49:35,564 --> 00:49:37,201
They're just cowards.
1013
00:49:37,234 --> 00:49:40,474
So, Isa's a lesbian.
What's wrong with that?
1014
00:49:40,507 --> 00:49:41,609
Well, it's not useful...
1015
00:49:41,643 --> 00:49:42,946
"Not useful"?
1016
00:49:42,979 --> 00:49:45,350
Dad, maybe just let
Frances speak.
1017
00:49:46,352 --> 00:49:47,588
Well, you know...
1018
00:49:47,621 --> 00:49:49,191
Are you worried that
Frances has had sex
1019
00:49:49,225 --> 00:49:51,362
with a 19-year-old lesbian?
1020
00:49:51,396 --> 00:49:53,566
-Uh, I haven't had sex.
-I'm not worried.
1021
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,470
And don't put words in my mouth.
1022
00:49:55,504 --> 00:49:56,974
I'm not.
1023
00:49:58,610 --> 00:50:00,747
It's fine if that's
what they want.
1024
00:50:00,781 --> 00:50:03,420
And by 'they', do you mean
plural or singular?
1025
00:50:03,453 --> 00:50:06,426
Because only one of them
is a consenting adult,
1026
00:50:06,459 --> 00:50:09,398
so only one of they
is able to consent.
1027
00:50:09,432 --> 00:50:11,369
And I think that's the lesbian.
1028
00:50:11,402 --> 00:50:14,141
It's not my place
to tell Frances what to do.
1029
00:50:14,175 --> 00:50:15,410
Well, that's nonsense.
1030
00:50:15,444 --> 00:50:17,348
I tell you what to do
all the time
1031
00:50:17,381 --> 00:50:19,819
and whether or not
you wanna do it is up to you.
1032
00:50:19,852 --> 00:50:21,689
So, about this lesbian.
1033
00:50:21,723 --> 00:50:23,360
She's not a lesbian.
She's queer.
1034
00:50:23,393 --> 00:50:25,697
Shhh!
1035
00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:28,336
-See? There's that word again.
-What, queer?
1036
00:50:28,370 --> 00:50:30,507
-Queer.
-Here we go.
1037
00:50:30,540 --> 00:50:32,044
This is the exact same
conversation
1038
00:50:32,077 --> 00:50:34,015
we've been having for
the past 30 years.
1039
00:50:36,487 --> 00:50:38,723
Dear, you might be queer.
1040
00:50:38,757 --> 00:50:40,293
- But I'm gay.
- Yes.
1041
00:50:40,327 --> 00:50:43,633
And I've spent my whole life
fighting for it
1042
00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:47,941
as... as a visible, gay,
HIV-positive man.
1043
00:50:47,975 --> 00:50:49,712
Because someone had to.
1044
00:50:49,745 --> 00:50:51,949
-We all have.
-Yeah, we all have.
1045
00:50:51,983 --> 00:50:53,553
- I understand that, but...
- Yeah, that's true.
1046
00:50:53,586 --> 00:50:54,889
We haven't lived through that.
1047
00:50:54,922 --> 00:50:56,359
Mum.
1048
00:50:56,392 --> 00:50:58,063
I think what
Dad's trying to say is...
1049
00:50:58,096 --> 00:50:59,832
No, no, what I'm
trying to say is
1050
00:50:59,865 --> 00:51:01,369
if Frances wants to fuck
1051
00:51:01,402 --> 00:51:03,807
a hot 19-year-old
who calls themselves
1052
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,646
Greenpeace Rainbow
Warrior Princess,
1053
00:51:06,679 --> 00:51:07,815
they can do it,
1054
00:51:07,848 --> 00:51:09,718
but calling everyone bisexual
1055
00:51:09,752 --> 00:51:12,791
negates the rights that I have
demanded and fought for.
1056
00:51:12,825 --> 00:51:14,628
Yes, it's like
we had to fight
1057
00:51:14,662 --> 00:51:15,831
so hard for same-sex rights -
1058
00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:17,502
things Frances
doesn't have to deal with.
1059
00:51:17,535 --> 00:51:20,073
But that's a good thing,
isn't it?
1060
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,285
Hey.
1061
00:51:27,254 --> 00:51:28,890
Hey!
1062
00:51:28,923 --> 00:51:30,393
You know, walking out like that
1063
00:51:30,427 --> 00:51:32,631
could be seen as quite hostile.
1064
00:51:33,933 --> 00:51:36,439
Don't be too disappointed.
They're all still hurting.
1065
00:51:36,473 --> 00:51:39,178
Oh, by 'they', do you mean
singular or plural?
1066
00:51:39,211 --> 00:51:41,182
'Cause you're just being
wilfully confusing.
1067
00:51:41,215 --> 00:51:42,619
I know.
1068
00:51:44,188 --> 00:51:45,323
Jimpa is...
1069
00:51:45,357 --> 00:51:46,392
He's so determined
1070
00:51:46,425 --> 00:51:48,129
to say that Isa
has to be a lesbian.
1071
00:51:48,163 --> 00:51:51,001
But for him, 'lesbian' means
attracted to women, right?
1072
00:51:51,034 --> 00:51:53,038
And I'm not a woman, Mum.
1073
00:51:53,072 --> 00:51:54,909
Then why didn't you point
that out to Jimpa?
1074
00:51:54,942 --> 00:51:56,712
Do you know
how much easier it is
1075
00:51:56,746 --> 00:51:58,416
for you to do it than for me?
1076
00:51:58,450 --> 00:51:59,919
Do what?
1077
00:52:01,456 --> 00:52:03,359
To stand up for me.
1078
00:52:04,361 --> 00:52:06,332
You don't think
I stand up for you?
1079
00:52:08,001 --> 00:52:10,173
Well, this is what he's like.
1080
00:52:10,207 --> 00:52:11,842
How are you gonna do this
when I'm not here?
1081
00:52:16,352 --> 00:52:18,289
-It's Isa.
-Go ahead, answer it.
1082
00:52:21,295 --> 00:52:22,565
Oh, hi there.
1083
00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:25,237
Where are youand what are you doing?
1084
00:52:26,473 --> 00:52:29,479
Oh, nowhere interesting.
Doing nothing much.
1085
00:52:29,512 --> 00:52:33,319
I doubt that,but I was wondering
1086
00:52:33,353 --> 00:52:35,390
if you wanted to go for a ridewith me.
1087
00:52:36,627 --> 00:52:39,666
If you need to ask your momor Jim, that's cool.
1088
00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:41,435
No, I don't need to do that.
1089
00:53:03,011 --> 00:53:05,015
Australians are
afraid of the sun.
1090
00:53:12,864 --> 00:53:14,335
What's over there?
1091
00:53:16,205 --> 00:53:17,874
- There?
- Mmm.
1092
00:53:18,876 --> 00:53:22,083
It's a big cruising spot. 24/7.
1093
00:53:22,116 --> 00:53:24,556
Oh, is that why
you brought me here?
1094
00:53:24,589 --> 00:53:26,626
Do you want to go take a look?
1095
00:53:27,961 --> 00:53:29,298
Uh...
1096
00:53:34,006 --> 00:53:35,578
Did you wanna
talk anything through?
1097
00:53:37,648 --> 00:53:39,786
I think I'm
a bit sick of talking.
1098
00:53:39,819 --> 00:53:41,188
Is that ok?
1099
00:53:42,290 --> 00:53:43,359
Of course.
1100
00:53:56,453 --> 00:53:58,757
♪ I wrote me a book ♪
1101
00:53:58,791 --> 00:54:01,195
♪ I hid the last page ♪
1102
00:54:01,228 --> 00:54:03,534
♪ I didn't even look ♪
1103
00:54:03,567 --> 00:54:05,970
♪ I think I locked it in a cage ♪
1104
00:54:06,004 --> 00:54:07,708
♪ Wrote a novel ♪
1105
00:54:09,043 --> 00:54:13,151
♪ 'Cause everybodyLikes to read a novel ♪
1106
00:54:16,493 --> 00:54:18,864
♪ I ♪
1107
00:54:18,897 --> 00:54:23,640
♪ Found the last page in theSky ♪
1108
00:54:23,674 --> 00:54:27,515
♪ Cold and sweet, like an apple ♪
1109
00:54:27,548 --> 00:54:29,116
♪ The end, the end ♪
1110
00:54:29,150 --> 00:54:33,660
♪ I found you and nowThe story has its proper end ♪
1111
00:54:33,694 --> 00:54:36,398
♪ The end, the end What then ♪
1112
00:54:36,432 --> 00:54:38,134
♪ Oh, hello ♪
1113
00:54:38,168 --> 00:54:40,172
♪ Will you be mine ♪
1114
00:54:40,205 --> 00:54:43,614
♪ I haven't felt this aliveIn a long time ♪
1115
00:54:44,616 --> 00:54:47,955
♪ All the streets are warmToday ♪
1116
00:54:47,989 --> 00:54:50,995
♪ Hey ♪
1117
00:54:51,027 --> 00:54:53,231
♪ I read the signs ♪
1118
00:54:53,266 --> 00:54:57,307
♪ I haven't been this in loveIn a long time ♪
1119
00:54:57,340 --> 00:55:01,448
♪ The sun is up,The sun will stay ♪
1120
00:55:01,483 --> 00:55:05,055
♪ All for the new day ♪
1121
00:55:09,732 --> 00:55:12,202
♪ The very last breath ♪
1122
00:55:12,236 --> 00:55:14,240
♪ Of the hero of our tale ♪
1123
00:55:14,274 --> 00:55:17,047
♪ Would leave you only to guess ♪
1124
00:55:17,079 --> 00:55:21,456
♪ Did he truly prevailIn the sequel ♪
1125
00:55:22,725 --> 00:55:26,230
♪ I guess I'll have toWrite a sequel ♪
1126
00:55:42,565 --> 00:55:44,101
♪ Oh, hello ♪
1127
00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:45,537
♪ Will you be mine ♪
1128
00:55:46,539 --> 00:55:50,481
♪ I haven't felt this aliveIn a long time ♪
1129
00:55:50,514 --> 00:55:54,153
♪ All the streetsAre warm and grey ♪
1130
00:55:54,186 --> 00:55:56,993
♪ Hey ♪
1131
00:55:57,027 --> 00:55:59,364
♪ I read the signs ♪
1132
00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:03,439
♪ I haven't been this in loveIn a long time ♪
1133
00:56:03,473 --> 00:56:07,279
♪ The sun is up,The sun will stay ♪
1134
00:56:07,312 --> 00:56:10,420
♪ All for the new day ♪
1135
00:56:10,454 --> 00:56:13,092
-♪ Will you be mine ♪
-♪ Will you be mine ♪
1136
00:56:13,125 --> 00:56:17,000
♪ The days are shortAnd I wrote me my last rhyme ♪
1137
00:56:17,033 --> 00:56:20,841
♪ All the streets are warmToday ♪
1138
00:56:20,874 --> 00:56:23,513
-♪ Hey ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
1139
00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:26,051
♪ I read the signs ♪
1140
00:56:26,085 --> 00:56:30,594
♪ I haven't been this in love ♪
1141
00:56:30,627 --> 00:56:36,304
♪ In a long time ♪
1142
00:56:40,781 --> 00:56:46,024
♪ It's been a long time ♪
1143
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,017
No, I tried that.
1144
00:56:59,050 --> 00:57:00,487
It's not working.
1145
00:57:00,521 --> 00:57:01,890
It says I have two more attempts
1146
00:57:01,923 --> 00:57:03,225
before it locks me out.
1147
00:57:18,354 --> 00:57:20,226
My grand-thing
1148
00:57:20,259 --> 00:57:22,397
has done a grand thing.
1149
00:57:24,434 --> 00:57:25,871
Let's celebrate.
1150
00:57:34,087 --> 00:57:35,256
Hmm?
1151
00:57:40,667 --> 00:57:42,337
Are you gonna tell Hannah?
1152
00:57:43,339 --> 00:57:44,709
You don't think I should?
1153
00:57:48,650 --> 00:57:51,823
I think sex is simpler for her.
1154
00:57:51,856 --> 00:57:52,958
Mmm.
1155
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,731
I feel sorry for straight women.
1156
00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:57,200
Having to lie there,
1157
00:57:57,233 --> 00:57:59,639
people assuming you
just want to be fucked.
1158
00:57:59,672 --> 00:58:01,576
No-one talks about it.
1159
00:58:01,609 --> 00:58:04,314
They just do what's expected.
1160
00:58:06,184 --> 00:58:07,955
The benefits of who we are
1161
00:58:07,988 --> 00:58:11,863
is you can't assume
anything about anyone.
1162
00:58:11,896 --> 00:58:14,301
You always have to ask
for what they want.
1163
00:58:14,334 --> 00:58:16,639
State what you want.
1164
00:58:16,673 --> 00:58:18,576
Consent's sexy.
1165
00:58:18,610 --> 00:58:20,279
Understanding what
someone wants.
1166
00:58:21,516 --> 00:58:23,152
Sure, as long as it's not like
1167
00:58:23,185 --> 00:58:25,189
instructions for
a washing machine.
1168
00:58:35,042 --> 00:58:38,048
Has Mum talked to you about
me staying in Amsterdam?
1169
00:58:39,485 --> 00:58:41,021
Your parents love you.
1170
00:58:41,054 --> 00:58:43,025
You're very supported by them.
1171
00:58:44,327 --> 00:58:45,464
And?
1172
00:58:45,497 --> 00:58:48,068
And it sounds like
schools in Australia
1173
00:58:48,102 --> 00:58:49,437
are much better now.
1174
00:58:51,809 --> 00:58:53,345
School's fine.
1175
00:58:53,379 --> 00:58:55,984
It's not like I'm... I'mgetting beaten up or anything.
1176
00:58:57,220 --> 00:59:01,194
I'm not scared exactly,just not...
1177
00:59:03,098 --> 00:59:04,367
. ..connecting.
1178
00:59:05,804 --> 00:59:08,543
I'm tired of the feeling
that I'm somehow
1179
00:59:08,576 --> 00:59:10,614
rubbing my queerness
in everyone's face.
1180
00:59:10,647 --> 00:59:11,883
Hmm.
1181
00:59:14,922 --> 00:59:16,592
That might never stop.
1182
00:59:18,195 --> 00:59:21,101
But it will never stop us.
1183
00:59:23,439 --> 00:59:29,217
You're the president of
an LGBT club at school.
1184
00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:31,689
So it... it can't be so bad.
1185
00:59:34,327 --> 00:59:37,066
Maybe you don't need to
leave your family just yet.
1186
00:59:39,472 --> 00:59:41,642
But you had to leave
your family.
1187
00:59:41,676 --> 00:59:43,713
No, I didn't have to.
1188
00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:45,149
I wanted to.
1189
00:59:45,182 --> 00:59:46,418
What do you mean?
1190
00:59:47,589 --> 00:59:50,426
Katherine offered to move
with me with the children.
1191
00:59:51,496 --> 00:59:54,000
I decided to come to
Amsterdam on my own.
1192
00:59:55,804 --> 00:59:57,741
Does Mum know this?
1193
00:59:57,774 --> 00:59:59,244
I'm not sure.
1194
00:59:59,277 --> 01:00:00,714
What does your grandma say?
1195
01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:04,623
That she thought it best
that they stayed in Adelaide.
1196
01:00:04,655 --> 01:00:07,661
For Hannah's sake.
She was only 13.
1197
01:00:07,694 --> 01:00:09,397
That's a lie.
1198
01:00:09,430 --> 01:00:12,471
Most of the people
who left home,
1199
01:00:12,504 --> 01:00:14,875
their families and came here,
1200
01:00:14,909 --> 01:00:16,746
they did so because they had to.
1201
01:00:16,779 --> 01:00:18,081
Mmm.
1202
01:00:18,115 --> 01:00:21,154
It was a matter of survival,
of having a future.
1203
01:00:21,188 --> 01:00:22,758
But not me.
1204
01:00:24,127 --> 01:00:26,031
I was purely selfish.
1205
01:00:30,507 --> 01:00:31,709
Go on.
1206
01:00:32,878 --> 01:00:34,314
It'll do you good.
1207
01:00:38,723 --> 01:00:42,296
Did you... connect with Isa?
1208
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,806
Did you understand
what Isa wanted?
1209
01:00:49,310 --> 01:00:50,880
Not at all.
1210
01:00:50,914 --> 01:00:52,784
I forgot to ask.
1211
01:00:57,059 --> 01:01:00,165
Nothing fit into
my idea of things.
1212
01:01:00,199 --> 01:01:02,504
I don't even know what I liked.
1213
01:01:04,207 --> 01:01:06,344
I just thought things
would be clearer.
1214
01:01:27,521 --> 01:01:29,023
Hello?
1215
01:01:29,057 --> 01:01:30,359
Oh, hi.
1216
01:01:30,392 --> 01:01:32,396
Nice to meet you, Tilda.
1217
01:01:32,430 --> 01:01:35,904
I don't want to play heras too passive.
1218
01:01:35,937 --> 01:01:38,744
But she does seem to sacrificeher needs and wants
1219
01:01:38,777 --> 01:01:40,212
for the sake of her husband.
1220
01:01:40,245 --> 01:01:41,683
Mmm.
1221
01:01:41,717 --> 01:01:43,285
Yeah, you could say that.
1222
01:01:43,318 --> 01:01:44,656
Because even though he's gay,
1223
01:01:44,689 --> 01:01:45,825
I mean, it's still the man
1224
01:01:45,857 --> 01:01:47,293
who gets to goand explore himself
1225
01:01:47,326 --> 01:01:48,697
while the woman stays at home.
1226
01:01:48,731 --> 01:01:50,633
Yeah,
you could say that too.
1227
01:01:50,668 --> 01:01:52,303
I mean, and it'sstill the man that,
1228
01:01:52,336 --> 01:01:55,142
you know, doesn't activelylook after his children.
1229
01:01:55,175 --> 01:01:56,879
Which is...I mean, that's probably
1230
01:01:56,912 --> 01:01:58,215
the reality for many.
1231
01:01:58,248 --> 01:02:00,688
Right? I mean,especially in that time.
1232
01:02:00,721 --> 01:02:03,191
I just thought that mightnot be how you want to...
1233
01:02:03,225 --> 01:02:05,429
...portray him.
1234
01:02:05,463 --> 01:02:07,333
Or her.
1235
01:02:07,366 --> 01:02:09,605
All... all those,
uh, thoughts
1236
01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:11,575
are really interesting, um...
1237
01:02:16,986 --> 01:02:19,223
-Was that about your film?
-Yes.
1238
01:02:21,629 --> 01:02:23,098
Have you made up with Frances?
1239
01:02:23,131 --> 01:02:25,537
I didn't think
I needed to.
1240
01:02:26,605 --> 01:02:28,976
You do know it's actually OK
1241
01:02:29,010 --> 01:02:32,049
to disagree and say hurtful
things to someone?
1242
01:02:33,018 --> 01:02:34,588
You didn't have to push so hard.
1243
01:02:35,791 --> 01:02:38,128
Is this about the fact
that Frances had sex?
1244
01:02:40,667 --> 01:02:42,269
Oh. You didn't know.
1245
01:02:42,303 --> 01:02:43,941
How could I know?
1246
01:02:43,973 --> 01:02:48,114
I'm sure Frances will tell you
all the details in no time.
1247
01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:50,520
Don't worry.
1248
01:02:51,790 --> 01:02:54,427
They've got more of
a head start than I ever had.
1249
01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:58,703
When I was Frances's age,
1250
01:02:58,737 --> 01:03:01,810
I didn't even have the word
to describe the way I...
1251
01:03:04,313 --> 01:03:05,784
I know, Dad.
1252
01:03:07,419 --> 01:03:10,325
But Frances has all the words.
1253
01:03:11,763 --> 01:03:14,433
Frances will be fine.
1254
01:03:14,468 --> 01:03:16,572
They can...
1255
01:03:16,605 --> 01:03:19,210
. ..idolise me from afar.
1256
01:03:19,243 --> 01:03:20,881
That's just the way I like it.
1257
01:03:23,754 --> 01:03:25,891
So you're still going
for the Helsinki job?
1258
01:03:25,925 --> 01:03:28,029
Oh, you don't think I should?
1259
01:03:29,531 --> 01:03:30,768
What are we cooking?
1260
01:03:30,801 --> 01:03:32,537
My osso buco.
1261
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,011
I might make something for us.
1262
01:03:38,917 --> 01:03:40,921
Oh, fuck!
1263
01:03:40,955 --> 01:03:42,691
-Let me see.
-No, no.
1264
01:03:42,724 --> 01:03:44,661
I'm fine. Fuck.
1265
01:03:44,695 --> 01:03:46,331
Is it deep?
Does it need stitches?
1266
01:03:46,364 --> 01:03:48,268
-No, no, I'm fine.
-Dad?
1267
01:03:48,301 --> 01:03:50,640
I don't need
a fucking hospital! Oh!
1268
01:03:50,673 --> 01:03:52,242
Easy.
1269
01:03:52,276 --> 01:03:54,916
Just lean here.
1270
01:03:56,384 --> 01:03:57,721
Hold it.
1271
01:04:04,001 --> 01:04:05,268
Hmm.
1272
01:04:05,302 --> 01:04:07,339
Tell me about your film.
1273
01:04:08,844 --> 01:04:10,113
Uh...
1274
01:04:10,145 --> 01:04:12,751
It's about a couple.
1275
01:04:12,784 --> 01:04:15,723
It's about commitment
1276
01:04:15,757 --> 01:04:18,696
and our contradictory
feelings about it.
1277
01:04:18,729 --> 01:04:21,669
Well, my feelings about it.
And, um...
1278
01:04:24,041 --> 01:04:25,978
. ..I don't think people
are getting it.
1279
01:04:27,312 --> 01:04:28,482
Hmm.
1280
01:04:29,986 --> 01:04:31,923
Do you remember Stephen?
1281
01:04:35,362 --> 01:04:37,299
Oh, I loved him so much.
1282
01:04:38,536 --> 01:04:40,205
So did Frances.
1283
01:04:40,238 --> 01:04:42,177
Yeah. So did I.
1284
01:04:43,579 --> 01:04:46,384
But he was a fervent
monogamist, poor thing.
1285
01:04:46,417 --> 01:04:48,288
Didn't you tell him
what you wanted?
1286
01:04:48,321 --> 01:04:50,358
Yes, and he agreed.
1287
01:04:51,427 --> 01:04:52,932
At first.
1288
01:04:52,965 --> 01:04:54,835
Until he didn't.
1289
01:04:54,869 --> 01:04:56,739
And you didn't change.
1290
01:04:56,772 --> 01:04:58,843
I don't believe in monogamy,
dearest.
1291
01:05:01,247 --> 01:05:02,851
Oh, he was so lovely.
1292
01:05:05,288 --> 01:05:07,326
You don't believe
in monogamy either.
1293
01:05:10,332 --> 01:05:12,336
But I also know
how great it can be.
1294
01:05:13,338 --> 01:05:15,510
Constancy. Loyalty.
1295
01:05:15,543 --> 01:05:18,549
Sounds like you're talking
about a dog. Hmm!
1296
01:05:18,582 --> 01:05:20,753
How is the dog anyway?
1297
01:05:20,787 --> 01:05:23,291
Oh! I need to call Mum.
1298
01:05:29,070 --> 01:05:30,840
I'm not very open.
1299
01:05:31,842 --> 01:05:35,016
No. I guess not.
1300
01:05:46,437 --> 01:05:47,774
Are you awake?
1301
01:05:53,619 --> 01:05:55,189
Are you not hungry?
1302
01:05:56,758 --> 01:05:58,394
I was thinking
you should stay here
1303
01:05:58,428 --> 01:05:59,698
while I go to London.
1304
01:06:01,335 --> 01:06:02,470
Why?
1305
01:06:02,503 --> 01:06:03,706
I don't know, just...
1306
01:06:03,739 --> 01:06:05,877
. ..gives you the chance
to soak up Amsterdam.
1307
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,152
Sounds like you had
a really good time with Isa.
1308
01:06:12,223 --> 01:06:14,127
I was...
I was going to tell you.
1309
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:16,798
It's OK, Frances. It's fine.
1310
01:06:19,304 --> 01:06:20,941
OK.
1311
01:06:25,149 --> 01:06:27,220
I'm excited for you.
It's a big thing.
1312
01:06:50,933 --> 01:06:52,770
Jim Hill in Helsinki.
1313
01:06:52,804 --> 01:06:54,774
Jani! How are you?
1314
01:06:55,978 --> 01:06:57,847
You... you got the study
I sent you?
1315
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,119
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Fascinating stuff.
1316
01:07:00,152 --> 01:07:02,857
Nothing gets my heart racing
like social housing theory.
1317
01:07:02,890 --> 01:07:04,127
I mean it, Jim.
1318
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:06,031
-It's good to see you.
-You too.
1319
01:07:11,908 --> 01:07:14,914
So this is stilla huge focus for me.
1320
01:07:14,948 --> 01:07:19,124
Building scientific capacities
for community groups.
1321
01:07:19,157 --> 01:07:21,661
I remember you raised this
even all the way back
1322
01:07:21,695 --> 01:07:25,470
at the CDC symposium
at AIDS 2018.
1323
01:07:25,504 --> 01:07:28,308
It was in my plenary talk,
the one I gave at the IAS.
1324
01:07:28,342 --> 01:07:29,611
2019.
1325
01:07:29,644 --> 01:07:31,281
We can't keep up.
1326
01:07:31,314 --> 01:07:33,285
Oh. You were there, Karolina.
1327
01:07:33,318 --> 01:07:36,358
I was, I was, but I still
couldn't keep up!
1328
01:07:40,733 --> 01:07:41,802
So...
1329
01:07:42,970 --> 01:07:44,741
. ..is this an area
that you'd like
1330
01:07:44,774 --> 01:07:46,845
someone in this new
position to focus on?
1331
01:07:49,452 --> 01:07:51,221
We were very excited
1332
01:07:51,254 --> 01:07:53,158
when you called to say
you'd be in town
1333
01:07:53,192 --> 01:07:55,464
and wanted to talk
about the position.
1334
01:07:55,497 --> 01:07:58,102
It's such an honour,
personally speaking.
1335
01:07:58,135 --> 01:08:00,507
Of course we jumped on
the opportunity to meet up.
1336
01:08:00,540 --> 01:08:03,010
We would be honored
to access someone
1337
01:08:03,045 --> 01:08:04,582
with your knowledge
and experience.
1338
01:08:04,614 --> 01:08:05,883
Yes.
1339
01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:08,922
We were talking that
maybe we can even
1340
01:08:08,956 --> 01:08:12,598
formalise something
in an advisory capacity
1341
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:17,106
or a board position, when
they come up in three years.
1342
01:08:17,140 --> 01:08:19,377
Mmm. Yeah.
1343
01:08:22,383 --> 01:08:24,087
While you're here in Helsinki,
1344
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,291
I was hoping to take you out
for lunch or dinner.
1345
01:08:26,324 --> 01:08:29,029
And why would you want
to do that?
1346
01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:32,504
Well, we were very impressed
by Mirjam Oerlemans.
1347
01:08:32,538 --> 01:08:33,839
Mirjam?
1348
01:08:33,872 --> 01:08:37,514
She's young, but her advocacy
for equality care
1349
01:08:37,548 --> 01:08:41,288
aligns really well with some
of our new impact areas.
1350
01:08:41,321 --> 01:08:43,593
You've been a kind of mentor
to her for years.
1351
01:08:43,626 --> 01:08:44,794
10 years.
1352
01:08:46,499 --> 01:08:48,636
And you're considering her
for this new...
1353
01:08:48,670 --> 01:08:50,372
Hence my clumsy invite
to dinner.
1354
01:08:52,243 --> 01:08:54,781
You want my opinion on
Mirjam Oerlemans?
1355
01:08:54,814 --> 01:08:57,253
Well, you're her reference.
1356
01:08:58,255 --> 01:09:00,359
But we respect your opinion.
1357
01:09:00,392 --> 01:09:02,830
Your honesty especially,
it's legendary.
1358
01:09:02,863 --> 01:09:05,001
I wish we could do dinner,
but...
1359
01:09:05,034 --> 01:09:09,645
. ..I came without a bag,
and I... I have work back home.
1360
01:09:10,980 --> 01:09:14,787
But you don't need dinner
for me to tell you Mirjam...
1361
01:09:17,159 --> 01:09:18,962
. ..would be perfect.
1362
01:09:18,996 --> 01:09:21,669
She's pragmatic. Evidence-based.
1363
01:09:21,702 --> 01:09:24,807
Her success is focusing
on young people
1364
01:09:24,841 --> 01:09:26,512
and marginalised groups.
1365
01:09:26,545 --> 01:09:28,982
Her stellarrights-based approach
1366
01:09:29,016 --> 01:09:31,921
has meant actualpolicy change, not just...
1367
01:09:45,316 --> 01:09:47,953
'Cause that is
beautiful. OK?
1368
01:09:50,993 --> 01:09:52,698
Hello!
1369
01:09:55,470 --> 01:09:57,507
Hello!
1370
01:09:57,541 --> 01:09:59,042
Say your name.
1371
01:10:00,245 --> 01:10:01,615
-Why?
-Hi, guys.
1372
01:10:01,649 --> 01:10:03,084
Just dropping
the professor home.
1373
01:10:03,117 --> 01:10:05,121
You need to say your name,
not just hello.
1374
01:10:05,155 --> 01:10:06,891
Otherwise, we don't know
who you are
1375
01:10:06,925 --> 01:10:08,428
or what you want.
1376
01:10:08,463 --> 01:10:10,299
Who else would it be?
1377
01:10:14,307 --> 01:10:16,512
Uh, I think it's time for bed.
1378
01:10:16,545 --> 01:10:18,382
Well, how did it go?
1379
01:10:18,415 --> 01:10:21,354
-Oh, wet and miserable.
-Hmm.
1380
01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:23,693
But really good.
1381
01:10:23,726 --> 01:10:25,362
Let me, uh...
1382
01:10:28,301 --> 01:10:30,473
It went really well.
1383
01:10:31,575 --> 01:10:33,278
They'd be lucky to have me.
1384
01:10:34,481 --> 01:10:37,152
It reminded me... Oh.
1385
01:10:38,321 --> 01:10:39,390
. ..of all the ideas...
1386
01:10:42,061 --> 01:10:44,200
Of the ideas i still have.
1387
01:10:44,233 --> 01:10:46,971
Of the energy I have.
1388
01:10:47,005 --> 01:10:48,442
Ahhh.
1389
01:10:52,551 --> 01:10:54,721
What... what time is it?
1390
01:10:54,755 --> 01:10:56,892
Let's get you to bed, Professor.
1391
01:11:04,741 --> 01:11:06,612
I think
she could be interesting.
1392
01:11:06,645 --> 01:11:08,683
She had some interesting ideas.
1393
01:11:11,153 --> 01:11:12,990
But at least she's invested.
1394
01:11:13,023 --> 01:11:14,159
One second.
1395
01:11:15,194 --> 01:11:16,397
Have fun.
1396
01:11:16,431 --> 01:11:18,536
I think it makes sense
for you to stay here.
1397
01:11:18,569 --> 01:11:19,705
Mm-hm.
1398
01:11:19,738 --> 01:11:20,907
This was always gonna happen.
1399
01:11:20,940 --> 01:11:22,276
Don't make your mum feel guilty.
1400
01:11:22,309 --> 01:11:25,014
Yes, don't shame your mother
for working, Frances.
1401
01:11:25,047 --> 01:11:26,183
I'm not.
1402
01:11:26,216 --> 01:11:28,220
You rather have a mother
who stayed home
1403
01:11:28,255 --> 01:11:29,491
and cooked biscuits for you?
1404
01:11:29,525 --> 01:11:30,827
You want that kind of a mother?
1405
01:11:30,860 --> 01:11:32,564
Yep. I should go. I need
to go and get the train.
1406
01:11:32,597 --> 01:11:34,735
No, I don't want
that kind of a mother.
1407
01:11:34,768 --> 01:11:35,737
Yeah. Good.
1408
01:11:35,770 --> 01:11:37,874
Oh! For fuck's sake!
1409
01:11:37,908 --> 01:11:40,211
Um, originally I had said
Frances might come.
1410
01:11:40,244 --> 01:11:42,316
Tell your mother you'll be fine.
1411
01:11:42,349 --> 01:11:43,886
Or tell me nothing.
1412
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:45,022
Hmm.
1413
01:11:46,156 --> 01:11:47,894
But I... I did want to tell you.
1414
01:11:47,928 --> 01:11:50,399
I just... I hadn't yet.
1415
01:11:50,432 --> 01:11:51,669
That's not what I
meant.
1416
01:11:51,702 --> 01:11:53,573
It's fine.
You didn't have to tell me.
1417
01:11:53,606 --> 01:11:54,775
OK?
1418
01:11:54,808 --> 01:11:57,145
OK? Of course it's OK.
1419
01:11:58,247 --> 01:11:59,451
Uh...
1420
01:12:00,653 --> 01:12:02,657
You don't want to stay
in Amsterdam?
1421
01:12:03,659 --> 01:12:05,630
Do you want to come with me?
1422
01:12:10,907 --> 01:12:14,212
But Dad's fine. He's been
to Finland for an interview.
1423
01:12:14,245 --> 01:12:16,183
You need to tell your father
1424
01:12:16,216 --> 01:12:18,689
that he's beingridiculous and selfish.
1425
01:12:18,723 --> 01:12:21,595
He doesn't need me
to tell him those things.
1426
01:12:21,629 --> 01:12:24,433
Tell him he needs to retirewith some fucking dignity.
1427
01:12:24,468 --> 01:12:26,104
We don't need to tell him
anything.
1428
01:12:26,136 --> 01:12:27,741
He's feeling old, Mum.
1429
01:12:27,774 --> 01:12:30,647
Have you talked to himabout your film yet?
1430
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:32,450
Uh, kind of.
1431
01:12:32,484 --> 01:12:34,252
You're worried thathe's not gonna give you
1432
01:12:34,285 --> 01:12:35,623
his divine blessing?
1433
01:12:35,657 --> 01:12:37,861
I just don't want to get
into an argument.
1434
01:12:37,894 --> 01:12:39,295
Then he'll tell you
1435
01:12:39,330 --> 01:12:41,367
there are far moreinteresting parts in his life,
1436
01:12:41,401 --> 01:12:43,038
so be ready.
1437
01:12:43,071 --> 01:12:44,608
Maybe.
1438
01:12:52,991 --> 01:12:55,563
You never come visit anymore,
Mirjam.
1439
01:12:55,596 --> 01:12:57,467
-You told me not to.
-I never!
1440
01:12:57,500 --> 01:13:00,105
You did.
1441
01:13:00,138 --> 01:13:02,208
You did.
1442
01:13:06,350 --> 01:13:09,658
Thank you for the kind words
you said about me.
1443
01:13:09,691 --> 01:13:11,127
I meant them.
1444
01:13:13,799 --> 01:13:15,937
You could have told me.
1445
01:13:15,970 --> 01:13:18,576
I didn't know you were going
for the same job
1446
01:13:18,609 --> 01:13:19,811
until you announced it
1447
01:13:19,845 --> 01:13:21,782
in front of everyone
at your party.
1448
01:13:21,815 --> 01:13:23,719
If you'd known earlier,
1449
01:13:23,753 --> 01:13:25,823
would you still have
gone for the position?
1450
01:13:28,996 --> 01:13:30,297
If there is a job,
1451
01:13:30,331 --> 01:13:32,035
think of Richard, won't you?
1452
01:13:34,339 --> 01:13:35,843
Get him out of my hair.
1453
01:13:44,260 --> 01:13:45,963
Two hugs.
1454
01:13:45,997 --> 01:13:47,734
Aren't you lucky?
1455
01:14:11,080 --> 01:14:13,953
I can'tbelieve I feel jealous.
1456
01:14:13,986 --> 01:14:15,957
It's OK, I understand.
1457
01:14:15,990 --> 01:14:17,861
It's not ok.
1458
01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:22,002
It's stupid. It's so fucking...
1459
01:14:22,035 --> 01:14:24,674
It's so fucking stupid.
1460
01:14:26,745 --> 01:14:28,515
Maybe things were
just a bit fast.
1461
01:14:30,085 --> 01:14:31,220
My God.
1462
01:14:31,254 --> 01:14:33,592
It's so immature of me,
isn't it?
1463
01:14:34,728 --> 01:14:36,965
Can we just go home?
1464
01:14:38,268 --> 01:14:39,604
We will.
1465
01:14:39,638 --> 01:14:42,577
Talk to Jimpa about your film
and let's go home.
1466
01:14:42,610 --> 01:14:44,079
I will.
1467
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,164
I don't think I want the job.
1468
01:14:54,133 --> 01:14:58,207
I think...
I'll stay in Amsterdam.
1469
01:14:58,241 --> 01:15:00,546
I... I think Amsterdam could be
1470
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:03,819
really great for you, Frances.
1471
01:15:03,852 --> 01:15:07,794
I'll stay here
so you can live with me.
1472
01:15:07,827 --> 01:15:09,798
-Are you sure?
-Of course.
1473
01:15:09,831 --> 01:15:14,139
It'll mean that you'll come
visit more often as well.
1474
01:15:14,173 --> 01:15:15,609
Yeah.
1475
01:15:15,643 --> 01:15:17,179
What do you say, grand-thing?
1476
01:15:30,438 --> 01:15:32,610
- OK.
- Good.
1477
01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:35,281
Is that what you want?
1478
01:15:37,052 --> 01:15:39,023
Yeah, I mean,
sounds amazing, Jimpa.
1479
01:15:39,056 --> 01:15:41,160
Good.
1480
01:15:43,999 --> 01:15:45,569
Fuck me.
1481
01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:48,675
Your cunning plan
1482
01:15:48,709 --> 01:15:50,646
really didn't work out
as expected, did it?
1483
01:16:31,427 --> 01:16:33,064
How old are you?
1484
01:16:34,233 --> 01:16:35,401
Old enough.
1485
01:16:35,435 --> 01:16:37,773
Hm. Just wanting to be safe,
you know.
1486
01:16:37,807 --> 01:16:39,811
Always safe.
1487
01:16:39,844 --> 01:16:41,648
I once fucked an older guy,
1488
01:16:41,681 --> 01:16:43,986
then discovered he'd escaped
from a nursing home.
1489
01:16:48,194 --> 01:16:50,733
The perils of being
a daddy chaser.
1490
01:16:50,766 --> 01:16:52,002
Hmm!
1491
01:16:53,772 --> 01:16:55,577
So come on.
1492
01:16:55,610 --> 01:16:57,045
Chase me.
1493
01:17:04,861 --> 01:17:06,330
I did say I regretted Frances
1494
01:17:06,363 --> 01:17:07,733
not spending
enough time with him.
1495
01:17:07,767 --> 01:17:08,802
Mmm.
1496
01:17:09,971 --> 01:17:11,541
It is a great city.
1497
01:17:23,565 --> 01:17:26,070
-Really good cafes.
-Mmm.
1498
01:17:26,103 --> 01:17:27,573
Good schools too.
1499
01:17:36,223 --> 01:17:37,560
Hey, Richard.
1500
01:17:54,126 --> 01:17:56,564
Uh, I don't know
what they've told you...
1501
01:17:57,768 --> 01:18:00,338
. ..but two days ago,
you had a bad stroke.
1502
01:18:01,908 --> 01:18:04,346
So you've been in a coma
to protect your brain.
1503
01:18:06,150 --> 01:18:08,522
And now they've taken you
out of the coma
1504
01:18:08,555 --> 01:18:09,924
to see how you are.
1505
01:18:11,662 --> 01:18:14,500
And they told us that you can
hear us now. Is that right?
1506
01:18:17,038 --> 01:18:18,810
Apparently you can
squeeze my hand.
1507
01:18:21,648 --> 01:18:24,386
So if you can hear me, Dad,
can you squeeze my hand?
1508
01:18:27,661 --> 01:18:29,329
OK.
1509
01:18:29,363 --> 01:18:32,636
So we'll do once for yes,
two for no.
1510
01:18:34,039 --> 01:18:35,274
OK.
1511
01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:39,884
So are you OK?
I mean, are you in any pain?
1512
01:18:44,527 --> 01:18:46,799
No? Good. OK.
1513
01:18:48,736 --> 01:18:50,572
And do you know who I am?
1514
01:18:50,606 --> 01:18:52,778
It's me, Hannah, your daughter.
1515
01:18:57,285 --> 01:18:58,823
And a filmmaker
1516
01:18:58,856 --> 01:19:00,559
and a woman and a mother.
1517
01:19:08,475 --> 01:19:11,079
And Frances is here as well,
your grandchild.
1518
01:19:15,354 --> 01:19:16,624
Hi, Jimpa.
1519
01:19:30,954 --> 01:19:33,257
Don't worry, Dad, OK?
I know what to do.
1520
01:19:34,226 --> 01:19:35,496
OK, I know.
1521
01:19:40,572 --> 01:19:42,108
Do you feel like you?
1522
01:19:44,714 --> 01:19:46,919
No, of course you don't.
Stupid question.
1523
01:19:48,622 --> 01:19:50,157
Strange, you not talking.
1524
01:19:55,536 --> 01:19:57,105
Shall I tell you about yourself?
1525
01:20:00,012 --> 01:20:01,146
OK.
1526
01:20:01,179 --> 01:20:04,687
You were born in 1951.
1527
01:20:05,689 --> 01:20:07,894
Your parents were Mary and Bill.
1528
01:20:09,262 --> 01:20:11,233
You don't believe in monogamy.
1529
01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,906
Uh, you've had many lovers.
1530
01:20:15,174 --> 01:20:16,912
Stephen, who we all loved.
1531
01:20:18,682 --> 01:20:21,588
And then when you first
got here, there was a, um...
1532
01:20:22,523 --> 01:20:24,159
He was a photographer.
1533
01:20:24,192 --> 01:20:26,966
Tall, blonde.
1534
01:20:26,999 --> 01:20:28,869
He took that photo of you
that I really loved.
1535
01:20:28,903 --> 01:20:30,038
Daan.
1536
01:20:30,072 --> 01:20:32,241
His name was Daan.
1537
01:20:32,275 --> 01:20:34,179
I remember. Yeah, Daan.
1538
01:20:35,582 --> 01:20:36,919
He can't remember?
1539
01:20:36,952 --> 01:20:40,257
I'm just making sure that
he understands who he is.
1540
01:20:40,291 --> 01:20:42,463
Hey. Sorry.
1541
01:20:50,211 --> 01:20:52,181
Oh, God, look at him.
1542
01:20:52,215 --> 01:20:53,718
Jesus.
1543
01:20:55,221 --> 01:20:56,591
Oh, Hannah, I can't bear that.
1544
01:20:56,624 --> 01:20:59,063
- Hey, he can hear you.
- OK.
1545
01:21:03,505 --> 01:21:05,676
So he can'tbreathe on his own?
1546
01:21:05,709 --> 01:21:06,945
- No.
- OK.
1547
01:21:06,979 --> 01:21:08,447
Not yet, anyway. Hmm?
1548
01:21:11,219 --> 01:21:13,625
Jesus, can they just
prop him up or something?
1549
01:21:13,658 --> 01:21:15,495
He looks fucking horrific
like this.
1550
01:21:15,529 --> 01:21:17,666
Why don't we just
sit and talk to him?
1551
01:21:17,700 --> 01:21:18,768
OK.
1552
01:21:28,387 --> 01:21:30,192
I mean, I don't really know
what to say.
1553
01:21:30,224 --> 01:21:31,962
He's usually the one
doing all the talking.
1554
01:21:33,363 --> 01:21:34,700
You talk just fine.
1555
01:21:34,734 --> 01:21:36,471
Yeah, I know that. I know I do.
1556
01:21:39,543 --> 01:21:41,748
Oh, my God, Hannah,
look at our dad.
1557
01:21:41,781 --> 01:21:44,220
He can hear you.
1558
01:21:44,252 --> 01:21:47,358
Oh, god, dad, you look
like shit.
1559
01:21:48,528 --> 01:21:50,165
Hi.
1560
01:21:50,198 --> 01:21:51,869
It's OK.
1561
01:21:59,717 --> 01:22:00,752
Oh.
1562
01:22:00,786 --> 01:22:02,122
I am here.
1563
01:22:03,591 --> 01:22:04,961
It's OK.
1564
01:22:10,973 --> 01:22:13,244
The doctor said there was
a similar patient
1565
01:22:13,278 --> 01:22:14,915
who can now sit in the backyard
1566
01:22:14,948 --> 01:22:17,119
with a cup of tea
and a dog on their lap
1567
01:22:17,152 --> 01:22:19,355
and... and that
there's... there's no reason
1568
01:22:19,389 --> 01:22:21,393
Dad couldn't have that life.
1569
01:22:22,830 --> 01:22:25,302
Oh, this coffee is awful.
1570
01:22:25,334 --> 01:22:27,239
What have they done to the milk?
1571
01:22:27,272 --> 01:22:29,009
Look at your risotto.
1572
01:22:29,043 --> 01:22:31,379
-Who puts tofu in risotto?
-It's fine.
1573
01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:34,053
No. Excuse me!
If it's bad, you send it back.
1574
01:22:34,086 --> 01:22:35,689
I've already eaten
a quarter of it.
1575
01:22:35,722 --> 01:22:38,228
Jesus, Hannah, they need
to know if their food is bad.
1576
01:22:38,261 --> 01:22:41,133
I will tell them and I'll get
them to take it back.
1577
01:22:41,167 --> 01:22:42,202
No, please don't.
1578
01:22:42,236 --> 01:22:43,738
Why not?
1579
01:22:47,079 --> 01:22:49,016
Who puts tofu in risotto?
1580
01:22:49,049 --> 01:22:51,454
Would you like me
to remove the tofu?
1581
01:22:51,487 --> 01:22:52,522
No, it's fine.
1582
01:22:52,556 --> 01:22:53,892
I've... I've already eaten some.
1583
01:22:53,926 --> 01:22:55,195
And honestly, it's fine.
1584
01:22:55,228 --> 01:22:57,799
Let her have the terrible
risotto if she wants.
1585
01:22:59,637 --> 01:23:01,040
Fine, yep.
1586
01:23:01,073 --> 01:23:02,609
Just tell the kitchen
that it's terrible.
1587
01:23:02,643 --> 01:23:05,582
And look, these eggs, they're
way overcooked. Look at that.
1588
01:23:06,517 --> 01:23:08,655
Have a proper look. They're
solid, they don't even move.
1589
01:23:08,688 --> 01:23:10,960
Uh, shall I get the kitchen
to make them again?
1590
01:23:10,993 --> 01:23:12,863
No, you just tell the kitchen
that they're terrible.
1591
01:23:13,898 --> 01:23:15,135
OK.
1592
01:23:29,430 --> 01:23:30,865
We could get him a dog
1593
01:23:30,899 --> 01:23:32,269
and he could sit
in the garden...
1594
01:23:32,302 --> 01:23:33,571
Probably hooked up to machines.
1595
01:23:33,604 --> 01:23:35,809
. ..the dog on his lap,
and they... they said that
1596
01:23:35,842 --> 01:23:37,913
he might even be able to
communicate a little bit.
1597
01:23:37,946 --> 01:23:39,850
In the words
of the doctor, "Maybe,
1598
01:23:39,883 --> 01:23:41,520
"and after an extended
and difficult
1599
01:23:41,554 --> 01:23:42,723
"period of rehabilitation."
1600
01:23:42,756 --> 01:23:44,126
It's still possible.
1601
01:23:44,159 --> 01:23:45,628
It could take years, Em,
1602
01:23:45,662 --> 01:23:46,999
with no guarantee,
1603
01:23:47,032 --> 01:23:48,868
and that's the best possible
scenario.
1604
01:23:48,901 --> 01:23:50,338
But it's still a life.
1605
01:23:50,372 --> 01:23:52,142
And no-one should give up
their life to look after Dad.
1606
01:23:52,175 --> 01:23:53,878
-He wouldn't want that.
-Oh, Jesus, Hannah.
1607
01:23:53,911 --> 01:23:55,882
-It's not what he wants.
-How do you know that?
1608
01:23:55,915 --> 01:23:57,319
There was
no advanced care directive.
1609
01:23:57,352 --> 01:24:00,125
There's no recent will either.
Stephen's still in it.
1610
01:24:00,158 --> 01:24:02,295
Because it wasn't updated.
But we know what he wants.
1611
01:24:02,329 --> 01:24:03,731
That's not the same.
1612
01:24:03,765 --> 01:24:05,635
He told me, Em,
and he was very clear.
1613
01:24:05,668 --> 01:24:07,939
If he ends up more diminished,
let him die.
1614
01:24:11,180 --> 01:24:13,051
And... and what?
1615
01:24:14,820 --> 01:24:16,323
What, we just go and get coffee?
1616
01:24:16,357 --> 01:24:18,661
Is that what he said?
1617
01:24:18,694 --> 01:24:21,801
You know what Dad's like.
He just says shit like I do.
1618
01:24:21,834 --> 01:24:23,539
He could have written it down,
1619
01:24:23,571 --> 01:24:25,208
he could have... he could have
left instructions,
1620
01:24:25,241 --> 01:24:26,944
but he didn't.
1621
01:24:26,977 --> 01:24:29,083
And maybe he would be very happy
1622
01:24:29,116 --> 01:24:31,654
just sitting in the garden
with a dog on his lap.
1623
01:24:31,687 --> 01:24:32,956
That's his idea of hell.
1624
01:24:32,989 --> 01:24:34,359
Well, lately
he's been happy
1625
01:24:34,393 --> 01:24:36,163
to sit on the couch
and eat yoghurt.
1626
01:24:37,199 --> 01:24:38,768
He has been very diminished
1627
01:24:38,801 --> 01:24:39,837
since his first stroke, Hannah.
1628
01:24:39,870 --> 01:24:41,207
You just haven't been around.
1629
01:24:49,289 --> 01:24:51,627
I have seen him sit on
the couch and eat yoghurt.
1630
01:24:53,431 --> 01:24:54,733
Oh.
1631
01:24:58,274 --> 01:25:02,782
Well, there were these panels
and they were about 3x6
1632
01:25:02,816 --> 01:25:04,920
and, well, there were
all different kinds of fabrics
1633
01:25:04,953 --> 01:25:07,024
and... and we would decorate
them
1634
01:25:07,058 --> 01:25:08,529
with gems and buttons and...
1635
01:25:08,562 --> 01:25:09,730
Everything.
1636
01:25:09,763 --> 01:25:10,865
Anything.Whatever we wanted.
1637
01:25:10,899 --> 01:25:12,402
Sequins,
1638
01:25:12,435 --> 01:25:14,005
stuffed animals.
1639
01:25:14,038 --> 01:25:15,576
Hair. Condoms.
1640
01:25:17,879 --> 01:25:19,883
But everything you got
you then...
1641
01:25:19,917 --> 01:25:23,056
. ..sewed together
to form the quilt.
1642
01:25:23,090 --> 01:25:25,929
I felt like we were doing
that every week. I loved it.
1643
01:25:25,962 --> 01:25:28,968
How could you love it?
I mean, it's so... sad.
1644
01:25:29,001 --> 01:25:31,407
- I think it was just...
- Hmm.
1645
01:25:31,440 --> 01:25:33,311
I was 15.
1646
01:25:33,344 --> 01:25:35,882
I think it just felt likefamily arts and crafts to me.
1647
01:25:35,915 --> 01:25:37,319
It was important work
1648
01:25:37,352 --> 01:25:40,391
because some didn't get
funerals or celebrations.
1649
01:25:40,425 --> 01:25:41,927
Or families were ashamed.
1650
01:25:41,961 --> 01:25:43,699
You know, or didn't want
to bring attention
1651
01:25:43,731 --> 01:25:44,701
to how they died.
1652
01:25:44,733 --> 01:25:46,237
So it's the only way
1653
01:25:46,270 --> 01:25:48,709
people who had
an AIDS-related death
1654
01:25:48,741 --> 01:25:50,111
are remembered still.
1655
01:25:50,144 --> 01:25:52,450
- Mmm.
- One day it's, uh...
1656
01:25:52,483 --> 01:25:54,621
"Have you heard about Felix?
1657
01:25:54,654 --> 01:25:56,591
"He's gone back home
to his family."
1658
01:25:56,625 --> 01:25:58,495
And then we hear
from the family.
1659
01:25:58,528 --> 01:25:59,697
Felix suddenly died from
1660
01:25:59,731 --> 01:26:01,267
lung cancer
or something ridiculous.
1661
01:26:01,300 --> 01:26:03,304
Yeah. We knew the truth.
1662
01:26:03,337 --> 01:26:06,611
But you didn't really
know in those early days.
1663
01:26:06,645 --> 01:26:10,586
You were constantly checked,but you were always scared.
1664
01:26:11,787 --> 01:26:13,391
Always fucking scared.
1665
01:26:15,729 --> 01:26:18,033
We went on holiday to Spain.
You were there?
1666
01:26:18,066 --> 01:26:19,936
-Yeah. Tom.
-Yeah.
1667
01:26:19,970 --> 01:26:21,373
- And Jim.- Jim.
1668
01:26:21,407 --> 01:26:23,076
And we went to the gay beach.
1669
01:26:23,109 --> 01:26:24,413
There was this man,
1670
01:26:24,446 --> 01:26:27,453
very skeletal man,
with just his, uh...
1671
01:26:27,486 --> 01:26:29,189
. ..how do you call this,
swimming, uh...
1672
01:26:29,222 --> 01:26:31,894
-Swimmers.
-Swimmers, yeah.
1673
01:26:31,927 --> 01:26:35,669
And when he got up from
his bed to go to the sea,
1674
01:26:35,703 --> 01:26:39,276
you could see that he was
covered in Kaposi sarcoma.
1675
01:26:39,309 --> 01:26:40,646
Hmm.
1676
01:26:40,679 --> 01:26:44,353
Honestly, all over his body.
It was horrible.
1677
01:26:44,386 --> 01:26:46,558
And I was thinking
what a horrible sight it was,
1678
01:26:46,591 --> 01:26:48,059
but at the same time, I thought,
1679
01:26:48,093 --> 01:26:50,733
no, but it's also brave
and it's also beautiful
1680
01:26:50,766 --> 01:26:53,371
that he felt comfortable
showing his body like this.
1681
01:26:54,774 --> 01:26:56,877
But Jim wasn't interested, no.
1682
01:26:56,910 --> 01:26:59,282
Jim just pointed to
a small purple spot
1683
01:26:59,316 --> 01:27:01,152
on Tom's neck or shoulder
1684
01:27:01,186 --> 01:27:02,690
and he said...
1685
01:27:04,527 --> 01:27:07,332
"You need to get that
checked, otherwise... eugh."
1686
01:27:07,365 --> 01:27:08,568
No!
1687
01:27:08,602 --> 01:27:10,103
He just never has
any fucking tact.
1688
01:27:10,137 --> 01:27:11,172
No tact.
1689
01:27:11,206 --> 01:27:12,409
Like, none at all.
1690
01:27:12,442 --> 01:27:13,911
We were on the beach.
1691
01:27:13,944 --> 01:27:15,749
There was no etiquette
about these things.
1692
01:27:15,783 --> 01:27:16,818
No.
1693
01:27:16,851 --> 01:27:18,655
But still, yeah,
it was... it was rude.
1694
01:27:20,492 --> 01:27:23,197
Tom was kind of
a sensitive man,
1695
01:27:23,230 --> 01:27:24,366
unlike Jim.
1696
01:27:25,401 --> 01:27:26,970
And he said, "Well, thanks, Jim.
1697
01:27:27,004 --> 01:27:29,911
"Thank you very much
for ruining my holiday.
1698
01:27:29,943 --> 01:27:32,014
"Muchas gracias, darling."
1699
01:27:32,047 --> 01:27:35,153
But he did have it.
1700
01:27:35,187 --> 01:27:36,858
- Ohh.
- He did have it, yes.
1701
01:27:36,891 --> 01:27:39,630
-Yes, and he did get a quilt.
-Yeah.
1702
01:27:40,933 --> 01:27:43,237
It's so... it's so horrific.
1703
01:27:45,676 --> 01:27:49,450
Sorry. It's terrible.
1704
01:27:49,484 --> 01:27:51,320
Sorry, I'm sorry.
1705
01:27:51,353 --> 01:27:55,562
It's a terrible story. It's
not funny at all. It's not.
1706
01:27:55,596 --> 01:27:58,502
I don't even know
why I'm laughing about it.
1707
01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:10,993
Sorry.
1708
01:28:15,602 --> 01:28:18,340
Oh, God, I just
don't want him to die.
1709
01:28:24,554 --> 01:28:26,524
But I do need
more wine, so...
1710
01:28:26,558 --> 01:28:28,862
Coming up.
1711
01:28:33,738 --> 01:28:36,043
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
1712
01:28:39,015 --> 01:28:41,252
I think that... Yeah.
1713
01:28:51,541 --> 01:28:53,209
I do, you know.
1714
01:28:53,242 --> 01:28:54,580
What?
1715
01:28:54,614 --> 01:28:56,751
Want him to die.
1716
01:29:02,127 --> 01:29:04,131
Because you don't need him
like they do.
1717
01:29:12,015 --> 01:29:13,485
He thinks we have a thing.
1718
01:29:16,056 --> 01:29:17,860
I know.
1719
01:29:23,605 --> 01:29:26,143
Dark pink skin on the knuckles.
1720
01:29:27,412 --> 01:29:29,314
Prominent tendons.
1721
01:29:30,952 --> 01:29:32,187
Little cut.
1722
01:29:32,220 --> 01:29:33,758
Hmm!
1723
01:29:33,792 --> 01:29:37,131
There's a few dark hairs
on the outside of the hand.
1724
01:30:03,485 --> 01:30:05,956
Be grateful and fucking move on.
1725
01:30:32,307 --> 01:30:35,649
Do you think Emily knows
Jimpa better than you do?
1726
01:30:38,153 --> 01:30:39,557
Do you?
1727
01:30:43,096 --> 01:30:46,403
Emily's lived with or close
to Jimpa her whole life
1728
01:30:46,436 --> 01:30:49,643
so she's got a... different
relationship to him
1729
01:30:49,677 --> 01:30:51,079
than the one we have.
1730
01:30:51,112 --> 01:30:52,616
We have?
1731
01:30:52,649 --> 01:30:53,952
What's that?
1732
01:30:53,985 --> 01:30:55,956
Long-distance.
1733
01:30:57,291 --> 01:30:58,695
Mm.
1734
01:31:00,632 --> 01:31:02,536
I just wanna know
what Jimpa wants.
1735
01:31:04,305 --> 01:31:06,042
You don't think
I know what he wants?
1736
01:31:08,748 --> 01:31:10,785
The story you tell
1737
01:31:10,819 --> 01:31:14,325
about how he eventually had
to leave to come to Amsterdam,
1738
01:31:14,359 --> 01:31:17,866
about how Grandma decided it
was best to stay in Adelaide.
1739
01:31:18,868 --> 01:31:19,937
Yeah?
1740
01:31:22,407 --> 01:31:23,645
It's not true.
1741
01:31:25,114 --> 01:31:27,385
Grandma said to Jim that
she could come with him
1742
01:31:27,417 --> 01:31:28,821
and bring the kids.
1743
01:31:28,855 --> 01:31:30,592
You could all
move here together.
1744
01:31:31,694 --> 01:31:33,397
And Jimpa said no.
1745
01:31:34,365 --> 01:31:36,403
He said he wanted
to do it on his own.
1746
01:31:38,373 --> 01:31:39,810
He could have
1747
01:31:39,843 --> 01:31:41,814
brought you all with him
1748
01:31:41,847 --> 01:31:43,584
but he didn't want to.
1749
01:31:47,926 --> 01:31:49,429
Is that what he said to you?
1750
01:31:51,199 --> 01:31:52,602
Do you think he was lying?
1751
01:31:55,307 --> 01:31:56,777
No, I don't think he was.
1752
01:32:04,325 --> 01:32:06,162
Are you and Dad monogamous?
1753
01:32:09,202 --> 01:32:10,437
Mostly.
1754
01:32:12,108 --> 01:32:13,711
Why don't you talk about it?
1755
01:32:17,819 --> 01:32:19,790
I'm not as open as Jimpa.
1756
01:32:22,529 --> 01:32:23,831
Hmm.
1757
01:32:44,038 --> 01:32:46,710
And you were Director of
Public Health for five years.
1758
01:32:46,744 --> 01:32:48,013
Do you remember that?
1759
01:32:49,483 --> 01:32:51,019
Yeah? And...
1760
01:32:52,456 --> 01:32:53,825
Thank you.
1761
01:32:57,398 --> 01:33:00,672
And... and...
1762
01:33:07,686 --> 01:33:09,422
Emily's here.
1763
01:33:15,000 --> 01:33:17,138
Hannah,
you don't have to do it.
1764
01:33:17,171 --> 01:33:18,774
No shit. I'm not eating ham.
1765
01:33:18,808 --> 01:33:20,678
What? Fuck.
1766
01:33:20,712 --> 01:33:23,350
No, Hannah,
I'm talking about our dad.
1767
01:33:23,383 --> 01:33:26,322
No, it won't be me
that actually kills him.
1768
01:33:26,356 --> 01:33:28,226
Fucking hell, Hannah. I'm...
1769
01:33:29,362 --> 01:33:31,867
I mean that you don't
have to look after him.
1770
01:33:31,901 --> 01:33:34,305
If that's what scares you,
I will do that. You know this.
1771
01:33:34,338 --> 01:33:35,909
You're not gonna
have to give up anything.
1772
01:33:35,942 --> 01:33:36,911
Emily.
1773
01:33:36,944 --> 01:33:39,048
No, it's my fucking life.
1774
01:33:42,321 --> 01:33:43,858
I can help.
1775
01:33:43,891 --> 01:33:45,828
I can stay here
and live with them.
1776
01:33:45,862 --> 01:33:47,633
Jimpa would love it and...
1777
01:33:47,667 --> 01:33:50,905
. ..I can properly experience
this place.
1778
01:33:50,939 --> 01:33:52,341
- No.
- Why not?
1779
01:33:52,374 --> 01:33:54,513
You were ready to let me
live with him before.
1780
01:33:54,546 --> 01:33:56,685
No, no, not necessarily.
1781
01:33:57,819 --> 01:33:59,188
You weren't?
1782
01:34:02,462 --> 01:34:03,898
Hannah, can you please
say something?
1783
01:34:06,069 --> 01:34:07,872
It's not what he wants.
1784
01:34:11,681 --> 01:34:13,083
It's OK, Mum.
1785
01:34:13,116 --> 01:34:15,955
Sorry, don't take this
as hostile, but I need to go.
1786
01:34:15,989 --> 01:34:17,424
Go for a walk.
1787
01:34:27,612 --> 01:34:30,719
♪ It's gone too farTo ever go back ♪
1788
01:34:30,753 --> 01:34:32,589
♪ You know I wouldn'tGive you up ♪
1789
01:34:32,623 --> 01:34:35,629
♪ But, baby, I don't want that ♪
1790
01:34:41,172 --> 01:34:45,447
♪ It hits you so hardTo be so good ♪
1791
01:34:45,481 --> 01:34:50,558
♪ You know you keep so stillAnd maybe it's a kind of flak ♪
1792
01:34:52,161 --> 01:34:55,568
♪ Maybe it's the reasonThat I'm back ♪
1793
01:34:55,601 --> 01:34:58,340
♪ Maybe it's alright ♪
1794
01:34:59,543 --> 01:35:03,249
♪ Maybe I've alwaysBeen this kind ♪
1795
01:35:03,283 --> 01:35:05,723
♪ Baby, it's too hard ♪
1796
01:35:05,756 --> 01:35:11,165
♪ I'm too scarredFor this to work again ♪
1797
01:35:11,199 --> 01:35:15,107
♪ But you know I still wake upWith you every morning ♪
1798
01:35:15,140 --> 01:35:17,111
♪ Like I'm still dead ♪
1799
01:35:19,616 --> 01:35:23,289
♪ I heardShe's running out again ♪
1800
01:35:23,323 --> 01:35:26,229
♪ I know you're over that ♪
1801
01:35:26,262 --> 01:35:29,871
♪ I know that lookYou didn't want ♪
1802
01:35:29,903 --> 01:35:32,241
♪ You're all I've got ♪
1803
01:35:32,274 --> 01:35:36,382
♪ I heard you're fired up again ♪
1804
01:35:36,416 --> 01:35:39,724
♪ I know somethingDoesn't feel right ♪
1805
01:35:39,757 --> 01:35:43,129
♪ You know it's gotta feelRight ♪
1806
01:35:44,966 --> 01:35:47,539
♪ It's not the same now ♪
1807
01:35:47,572 --> 01:35:53,116
♪ But for a whileThis feeling hasn't changed ♪
1808
01:35:58,795 --> 01:36:02,770
♪ It hits me so hardTo feel so grey ♪
1809
01:36:02,803 --> 01:36:04,438
♪ You know you kept so clean ♪
1810
01:36:04,473 --> 01:36:07,545
♪ There was a reasonThat you didn't stay ♪
1811
01:36:09,483 --> 01:36:13,289
♪ Maybe it's the reasonYou're so glazed ♪
1812
01:36:13,323 --> 01:36:15,427
♪ Maybe it's alright ♪
1813
01:36:16,865 --> 01:36:20,571
♪ Maybe I've always beenSo afraid ♪
1814
01:36:20,605 --> 01:36:23,042
♪ Baby, it's too hard ♪
1815
01:36:23,076 --> 01:36:28,353
♪ I'm too scarred for thisTo work again ♪
1816
01:36:28,386 --> 01:36:32,227
♪ But you know I still wake upWith you every morning ♪
1817
01:36:32,261 --> 01:36:34,466
♪ Like we're still dead ♪
1818
01:36:36,670 --> 01:36:40,645
♪ I heardShe's running out again ♪
1819
01:36:40,678 --> 01:36:43,818
♪ I know you're over that ♪
1820
01:36:43,852 --> 01:36:46,958
♪ I know that look,You did it wrong ♪
1821
01:36:46,991 --> 01:36:49,563
♪ You're all I've got ♪
1822
01:36:49,596 --> 01:36:53,436
♪ I heard you fucked it upAgain ♪
1823
01:36:53,470 --> 01:36:57,110
♪ I know somethingDoesn't feel right ♪
1824
01:36:57,144 --> 01:37:00,585
♪ You know it's gotta feelRight ♪
1825
01:37:02,254 --> 01:37:06,329
♪ I heardShe's running out again ♪
1826
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:09,368
♪ I know you're over that ♪
1827
01:37:09,401 --> 01:37:12,843
♪ I know that look,You did it wrong ♪
1828
01:37:12,876 --> 01:37:15,413
♪ You're all I got ♪
1829
01:37:15,447 --> 01:37:19,089
♪ I heard you fucked it upAgain ♪
1830
01:37:19,121 --> 01:37:22,762
♪ I know somethingDoesn't feel right ♪
1831
01:37:22,796 --> 01:37:26,637
♪ You knowIt's gotta feel right ♪
1832
01:37:33,450 --> 01:37:35,488
-Is that Stephen?
-Mmm.
1833
01:37:40,430 --> 01:37:42,135
What did yousay to him?
1834
01:37:42,167 --> 01:37:44,539
I told him he was
1835
01:37:44,572 --> 01:37:47,277
being stubborn
for not updating his will.
1836
01:37:48,514 --> 01:37:51,053
I told him I never wanted
anything from him
1837
01:37:51,086 --> 01:37:53,356
except for his constancy
1838
01:37:53,389 --> 01:37:56,262
and that was the one thing
he refused to give me.
1839
01:37:57,264 --> 01:37:59,502
And I asked him what's the use
1840
01:37:59,536 --> 01:38:02,976
of all of his ideals
and opinions
1841
01:38:03,010 --> 01:38:06,248
if he can't give the people
he loves what they need.
1842
01:38:09,556 --> 01:38:12,562
You know,
you're allowed to be angry
1843
01:38:12,595 --> 01:38:14,165
or disappointed by him
1844
01:38:14,199 --> 01:38:16,235
and still think
the world of him.
1845
01:38:16,268 --> 01:38:18,006
I know.
1846
01:38:18,040 --> 01:38:19,441
Are you sure?
1847
01:38:27,525 --> 01:38:29,261
I'm not sure if you
remember much about
1848
01:38:29,294 --> 01:38:31,199
what we talked about
the other day.
1849
01:38:32,300 --> 01:38:34,539
Or if you remember
much about anything.
1850
01:38:35,541 --> 01:38:37,044
But I'm Hannah,
1851
01:38:37,078 --> 01:38:39,348
your youngest daughter.
1852
01:38:39,381 --> 01:38:41,686
And a filmmaker.
1853
01:38:41,720 --> 01:38:43,590
A mother.
1854
01:38:43,624 --> 01:38:45,127
A woman.
1855
01:38:47,465 --> 01:38:49,803
And we have to decide
what to do with you today.
1856
01:38:57,552 --> 01:38:58,687
You tell me off
1857
01:38:58,720 --> 01:39:00,926
for not answering
my phone when you call.
1858
01:39:00,959 --> 01:39:04,065
And for not visiting enoughand for working too hard,
1859
01:39:04,098 --> 01:39:05,568
but you taught methose things.
1860
01:39:07,271 --> 01:39:09,709
And I'm about to make
a film about you
1861
01:39:09,742 --> 01:39:11,713
and I kept saying
I couldn't visit yet
1862
01:39:11,746 --> 01:39:13,217
and you kept saying to
1863
01:39:13,250 --> 01:39:14,619
block out the time in my diary
1864
01:39:14,652 --> 01:39:16,388
and just to tell everyoneI'm working with
1865
01:39:16,422 --> 01:39:18,962
that it's happeningand to come for a visit.
1866
01:39:21,766 --> 01:39:24,005
This is one way to keep me
around longer than planned!
1867
01:39:27,345 --> 01:39:29,182
Are you OK? Are you in any pain?
1868
01:39:33,557 --> 01:39:34,893
No? Good.
1869
01:39:37,966 --> 01:39:40,537
So I'm gonna tell you
about my film.
1870
01:39:43,210 --> 01:39:45,547
It starts in 1977...
1871
01:39:47,251 --> 01:39:49,722
...which is obviouslya different and difficult time
1872
01:39:49,756 --> 01:39:51,793
to come out as gay.
1873
01:39:51,826 --> 01:39:54,332
But it's extra hardfor my main character
1874
01:39:54,365 --> 01:39:55,834
because he's married,
1875
01:39:55,868 --> 01:39:58,473
with a toddlerand a newborn baby.
1876
01:39:59,575 --> 01:40:02,248
But he does tell his family.
1877
01:40:04,552 --> 01:40:06,323
And instead of conflict,
1878
01:40:06,356 --> 01:40:10,064
he and his wife work outhow to keep living together
1879
01:40:10,097 --> 01:40:12,335
and to raisetheir two children.
1880
01:40:14,672 --> 01:40:17,878
They start creatinga different bond
1881
01:40:17,912 --> 01:40:21,086
where they co-parentand they share a life and...
1882
01:40:21,119 --> 01:40:23,458
...both of them havingvarious relationships,
1883
01:40:23,490 --> 01:40:25,527
some good, some bad, and...
1884
01:40:26,663 --> 01:40:29,535
...they go on living like thisfor over 10 years.
1885
01:40:30,571 --> 01:40:32,241
And, um...
1886
01:40:32,274 --> 01:40:33,677
...you know, they builda home together,
1887
01:40:33,710 --> 01:40:35,414
they... cook biscuits.
1888
01:40:36,450 --> 01:40:37,785
They coach each otherthrough life
1889
01:40:37,818 --> 01:40:40,624
to make a good life,a good family.
1890
01:40:42,561 --> 01:40:45,300
And because of this, theiryoungest daughter grows up
1891
01:40:45,334 --> 01:40:49,842
seeing their dad as gayand a father as one thing -
1892
01:40:49,876 --> 01:40:53,650
as one whole thing, withno hidden or separated parts.
1893
01:40:55,821 --> 01:40:59,195
But then all this changes
when she turns 13.
1894
01:41:01,733 --> 01:41:03,504
The father is finding it harder
1895
01:41:03,538 --> 01:41:05,074
to get work in Adelaide.
1896
01:41:05,107 --> 01:41:08,146
He's considered too political,
too controversial,
1897
01:41:08,180 --> 01:41:10,818
and... he feels limited by
1898
01:41:10,851 --> 01:41:13,256
the views, the place,
the lifestyle,
1899
01:41:13,290 --> 01:41:15,160
and so he says
he needs to leave.
1900
01:41:19,135 --> 01:41:22,108
And so, just like that,
after 13 years, he leaves.
1901
01:41:36,504 --> 01:41:39,442
But instead of it being
a terrible decision...
1902
01:41:43,048 --> 01:41:45,287
. ..it's presented as
something wonderful...
1903
01:41:47,124 --> 01:41:49,228
. ..that will prove to open up
all their lives.
1904
01:41:50,731 --> 01:41:51,966
And it did.
1905
01:42:52,855 --> 01:42:54,559
So that's what the film's about.
1906
01:43:00,571 --> 01:43:02,040
It's about a daughter learning
1907
01:43:02,073 --> 01:43:04,445
to not need her father so much.
1908
01:43:09,656 --> 01:43:10,824
Because she doesn't want him
1909
01:43:10,857 --> 01:43:13,028
to stay at home
and cook biscuits for her.
1910
01:43:15,233 --> 01:43:16,869
And her being grateful for that.
1911
01:43:37,978 --> 01:43:39,915
Do you like that story, Jimpa?
1912
01:43:46,563 --> 01:43:48,567
And do you think it's true?
1913
01:43:56,784 --> 01:43:57,918
Jimpa.
1914
01:44:01,794 --> 01:44:03,963
Do you want to die now?
1915
01:44:13,383 --> 01:44:14,952
Em...
1916
01:44:16,422 --> 01:44:17,592
Hmm.
1917
01:44:34,291 --> 01:44:37,129
You've said goodbye
to him a hundred times.
1918
01:44:37,163 --> 01:44:38,399
He'll be OK, Mum.
1919
01:44:39,335 --> 01:44:42,241
I just don't want him to feel
alone. He must be so scared.
1920
01:45:50,275 --> 01:45:51,345
Hello?
1921
01:46:32,562 --> 01:46:35,232
Jimpa alwaysthought he was right.
1922
01:46:36,435 --> 01:46:37,772
You might have heard him say,
1923
01:46:37,805 --> 01:46:39,509
"I'm not often wrongand I'm right this time."
1924
01:46:40,878 --> 01:46:43,149
But he didchange his mind sometimes.
1925
01:46:43,182 --> 01:46:45,319
He was just used tofighting for it.
1926
01:46:47,090 --> 01:46:50,664
He told me recentlyhe was selfish.
1927
01:46:50,698 --> 01:46:53,637
And it's true thathe could be careless.
1928
01:46:53,670 --> 01:46:55,440
He hurt people.
1929
01:46:58,079 --> 01:47:00,584
I always said he was my hero.
1930
01:47:02,220 --> 01:47:04,391
But I didn't really know himthat well.
1931
01:47:06,463 --> 01:47:08,934
I just had an idea of him.
1932
01:47:12,207 --> 01:47:14,712
I'm grateful for that idea.
1933
01:47:36,288 --> 01:47:38,259
I love you.
1934
01:47:39,629 --> 01:47:41,198
I love you too.
1935
01:47:52,521 --> 01:47:54,057
You're my hero.
1936
01:48:12,795 --> 01:48:16,503
♪ You said you wantedTo feel alive ♪
1937
01:48:16,536 --> 01:48:19,509
♪ So we went to the beach ♪
1938
01:48:19,542 --> 01:48:23,082
♪ You were born in July '95 ♪
1939
01:48:23,115 --> 01:48:26,221
♪ In a deadly heat ♪
1940
01:48:26,255 --> 01:48:30,330
♪ You say you're a winter bitch ♪
1941
01:48:30,363 --> 01:48:32,702
♪ But summer's in your blood ♪
1942
01:48:32,735 --> 01:48:38,145
♪ You can't help but becomeThe sun ♪
1943
01:48:42,722 --> 01:48:46,161
♪ And it feels good ♪
1944
01:48:46,195 --> 01:48:49,569
♪ To be known ♪
1945
01:48:49,602 --> 01:48:52,775
♪ So well ♪
1946
01:48:55,279 --> 01:48:59,689
♪ I can't hide from you ♪
1947
01:48:59,722 --> 01:49:04,131
♪ Like I hide from myself ♪
1948
01:49:08,640 --> 01:49:14,284
♪ I remember who I am ♪
1949
01:49:14,317 --> 01:49:17,858
♪ When I'm with you ♪
1950
01:49:21,265 --> 01:49:24,371
♪ Your love is tough ♪
1951
01:49:24,404 --> 01:49:30,149
♪ Your love isTried and true blue ♪
1952
01:49:35,426 --> 01:49:38,568
♪ Blue ♪
1953
01:49:44,745 --> 01:49:46,649
♪ I knew ♪
1954
01:49:46,683 --> 01:49:51,258
♪ When you told me you don'tWanna go home tonight ♪
1955
01:49:51,291 --> 01:49:53,229
♪ And you triedTo just shrug it off ♪
1956
01:49:53,262 --> 01:49:55,133
♪ When I asked you why ♪
1957
01:49:55,166 --> 01:49:57,370
♪ Somebody hurt you ♪
1958
01:49:57,403 --> 01:49:59,809
♪ Somebody hurt you ♪
1959
01:49:59,842 --> 01:50:02,347
♪ But you're here by my side ♪
1960
01:50:02,380 --> 01:50:05,119
♪ And I knew ♪
1961
01:50:05,153 --> 01:50:09,662
♪ 'Cause I can recall whenI was the one in your seat ♪
1962
01:50:09,695 --> 01:50:13,571
♪ I still got the scarsAnd they occasionally bleed ♪
1963
01:50:13,604 --> 01:50:15,841
♪ 'Cause somebody hurt me ♪
1964
01:50:15,874 --> 01:50:18,145
♪ Somebody hurt me ♪
1965
01:50:18,179 --> 01:50:20,383
♪ But I'm staying alive ♪
1966
01:50:20,416 --> 01:50:24,959
♪ And I can tellWhen you get nervous ♪
1967
01:50:24,992 --> 01:50:29,502
♪ You think being yourselfMeans being unworthy ♪
1968
01:50:29,535 --> 01:50:31,739
♪ And it's hard to love ♪
1969
01:50:31,773 --> 01:50:33,944
♪ With a heart that's hurting ♪
1970
01:50:33,977 --> 01:50:38,787
♪ But if you wantTo go out dancing ♪
1971
01:50:38,820 --> 01:50:41,091
♪ I know a place ♪
1972
01:50:42,561 --> 01:50:45,567
♪ I know a place we can go ♪
1973
01:50:46,970 --> 01:50:51,245
♪ Where everyone's gonnaLay down their weapon ♪
1974
01:50:51,278 --> 01:50:53,550
♪ Lay down their weapon ♪
1975
01:50:53,583 --> 01:50:57,958
♪ Just give me trustAnd watch what will happen ♪
1976
01:50:57,992 --> 01:50:59,795
♪ I know ♪
1977
01:51:02,367 --> 01:51:04,640
♪ Right now ♪
1978
01:51:04,673 --> 01:51:08,714
♪ It's like you're carryingAll the weight of your past ♪
1979
01:51:08,748 --> 01:51:10,550
♪ I can see all your bruises ♪
1980
01:51:10,584 --> 01:51:12,888
♪ Yellow, dark blue and black ♪
1981
01:51:12,921 --> 01:51:15,594
♪ But, baby, a bruise is ♪
1982
01:51:15,628 --> 01:51:20,202
♪ Only your bodyTrying to keep you intact ♪
1983
01:51:20,236 --> 01:51:22,975
-♪ So right now ♪
-♪ Right now ♪
1984
01:51:23,008 --> 01:51:27,116
♪ I think we should goAnd get drunk on cheap wine ♪
1985
01:51:27,150 --> 01:51:31,358
♪ I think we shouldHop on the purple line ♪
1986
01:51:31,391 --> 01:51:33,664
♪ 'Cause maybe our purpose ♪
1987
01:51:33,698 --> 01:51:38,172
♪ Is to never give upWhen we're on the right track ♪
1988
01:51:38,205 --> 01:51:42,581
♪ And I can tellWhen you get nervous ♪
1989
01:51:42,614 --> 01:51:47,023
♪ You think being yourselfMeans being unworthy ♪
1990
01:51:47,056 --> 01:51:49,528
♪ And it's hard to love ♪
1991
01:51:49,562 --> 01:51:52,066
♪ With a heart that's hurting ♪
1992
01:51:52,100 --> 01:51:56,576
♪ But if you want toGo out dancing ♪
1993
01:51:56,609 --> 01:51:59,214
♪ I know a place ♪
1994
01:52:00,249 --> 01:52:03,355
♪ I know a place we can go ♪
1995
01:52:04,860 --> 01:52:08,933
♪ Where everyone's gonnaLay down their weapon ♪
1996
01:52:08,967 --> 01:52:11,405
♪ Lay down their weapon ♪
1997
01:52:11,438 --> 01:52:15,547
♪ Don't you be afraidOf love and affection ♪
1998
01:52:15,580 --> 01:52:18,018
♪ Just lay down your weapon ♪
1999
01:52:20,356 --> 01:52:23,697
♪ They will try toMake you unhappy ♪
2000
01:52:23,731 --> 01:52:25,099
♪ Don't let them ♪
2001
01:52:25,132 --> 01:52:28,305
♪ They will try to tell youYou're not free ♪
2002
01:52:28,338 --> 01:52:29,475
♪ Don't listen ♪
2003
01:52:29,508 --> 01:52:31,445
♪ I, I know a place ♪
2004
01:52:31,479 --> 01:52:34,017
♪ Where you don't needProtection ♪
2005
01:52:34,050 --> 01:52:38,560
♪ Even if it's onlyIn my imagination ♪
2006
01:52:38,593 --> 01:52:39,962
♪ I ♪
2007
01:52:41,331 --> 01:52:44,505
♪ I know a place we can go ♪
2008
01:52:46,107 --> 01:52:50,450
♪ Where everyone's gonnaLay down their weapon ♪
2009
01:52:50,484 --> 01:52:52,621
♪ Lay down their weapon ♪
2010
01:52:52,654 --> 01:52:57,163
♪ Don't you be afraidOf love and affection ♪
2011
01:52:57,196 --> 01:52:59,769
♪ Just lay down your weapon ♪
137080
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.