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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,490 So remember, just do the task. 2 00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:57,030 Simply see the person's hands and describe them. 3 00:00:58,299 --> 00:01:01,705 So you've got a little roundy scar 4 00:01:01,739 --> 00:01:03,477 on the knuckle there. 5 00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:04,945 And, um... 6 00:01:04,978 --> 00:01:09,788 ...you've got lovely long fingers, really... nice nails. 7 00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:11,625 Don't judge. 8 00:01:11,659 --> 00:01:13,696 It's not about whether the hand is good or bad. 9 00:01:13,729 --> 00:01:16,168 Just about observing, paying attention. 10 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,237 OK? 11 00:01:18,239 --> 00:01:19,775 -May I? -Yeah. 12 00:01:27,090 --> 00:01:28,759 OK, long fingers. 13 00:01:29,928 --> 00:01:31,265 There's a scratch there 14 00:01:31,298 --> 00:01:33,169 on the knuckle of the index finger. 15 00:01:33,202 --> 00:01:34,506 Cat scratch. 16 00:01:34,539 --> 00:01:36,576 And there's another one there just higher up. 17 00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:39,013 It veers off to the left a bit. 18 00:01:39,046 --> 00:01:42,287 The thumb has a little bitten bit to the left 19 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,990 of the nail. 20 00:01:44,023 --> 00:01:47,697 And when you've done the task, just the task, long enough, 21 00:01:47,731 --> 00:01:50,571 uh, you move up to their face, 22 00:01:50,604 --> 00:01:52,140 their eyes. 23 00:01:54,444 --> 00:01:57,585 And the top dark lash line 24 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:02,994 just cuts off the very tip of the... the dark brown iris. 25 00:02:03,028 --> 00:02:05,032 And there's a... there's a darker line 26 00:02:05,065 --> 00:02:06,735 around the outside of the iris. 27 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,648 And it's... it's hard not to feel a... an intimacy. 28 00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:16,355 An almost instant intimacy and a... 29 00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:18,993 An excitement? 30 00:02:19,026 --> 00:02:21,432 Yeah, for sure, an excitement in the intimacy. 31 00:02:21,466 --> 00:02:25,106 And it's a good way to create an intense intimacy 32 00:02:25,139 --> 00:02:27,612 between your actors and sometimes with you. 33 00:02:27,645 --> 00:02:29,848 You know, and it's an intimacy you'll feel 34 00:02:29,881 --> 00:02:31,118 very comfortable with. 35 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,488 It's our job. 36 00:02:32,521 --> 00:02:34,858 But they need to understand this pact - 37 00:02:34,891 --> 00:02:35,960 what it's for, 38 00:02:35,994 --> 00:02:38,533 that the intimacy is for the work. 39 00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,638 OK? Do you want to carry on? 40 00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:42,006 - Yep. - Thank you. 41 00:02:46,215 --> 00:02:47,384 OK. 42 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,221 OK, well done. 43 00:02:52,294 --> 00:02:54,431 Ah, that's always a bad sign. 44 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,603 He was meant to stay with our friend Renate, 45 00:02:56,636 --> 00:02:58,774 but he's peeing all over the place and there's... 46 00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:00,243 Blood in the piss? 47 00:03:00,276 --> 00:03:01,879 Yeah, blood in the urine. 48 00:03:01,912 --> 00:03:04,384 Dearest, why do you say 'urine'? 49 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,120 Well, what do you want me to say? 50 00:03:06,155 --> 00:03:08,627 I want you to tell me what's wrong with him. 51 00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:10,363 I am telling you what's wrong with him. 52 00:03:10,396 --> 00:03:12,032 Is it cancer? 53 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,036 Yeah, tumour in his bladder. 54 00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:16,442 What timing. 55 00:03:16,476 --> 00:03:18,212 Yeah, you could say that. 56 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:21,486 I could say that, yes. I did just say that, didn't I? 57 00:03:21,519 --> 00:03:23,255 yeah, you did just say that. 58 00:03:23,289 --> 00:03:25,159 Every time you go on holiday, 59 00:03:25,193 --> 00:03:26,663 something bad happens. 60 00:03:26,696 --> 00:03:28,131 Well, it's not just a holiday. 61 00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:30,370 I've got work too and that's harder to cancel. 62 00:03:30,403 --> 00:03:32,005 A visit to your beloved dad 63 00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:33,976 is easier to cancel than work? 64 00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:36,516 -Oh! I get it. -You actually do get it. 65 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,854 Yeah, it's true. 66 00:03:41,693 --> 00:03:43,630 I just don't know if I can burden a friend 67 00:03:43,663 --> 00:03:44,965 with a dying dog. 68 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,740 Might only have two weeks and we wouldn't be around. 69 00:03:48,774 --> 00:03:52,079 If he's in a lot of pain, you should put him down now. 70 00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:53,583 Mmm. 71 00:03:53,617 --> 00:03:55,788 Dogs don't show their suffering. 72 00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,591 That's why we love them. 73 00:03:57,625 --> 00:03:59,327 Is that why we love them? 74 00:03:59,361 --> 00:04:01,365 Dear daughter, you know you can't 75 00:04:01,398 --> 00:04:03,335 keep him around just for your sake. 76 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,539 I'm just not sure we can 77 00:04:04,572 --> 00:04:06,709 say goodbye that fast and get on a plane. 78 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,582 Don't hang onto him. 79 00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:11,719 It's the kindest thing you could do. 80 00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:13,890 Maybe. 81 00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:18,232 I'll look after him. 82 00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:20,471 No, you've already got plans, don't you? 83 00:04:20,504 --> 00:04:22,475 I've already changed things around. 84 00:04:24,411 --> 00:04:26,281 I don't want him to suffer. 85 00:04:26,315 --> 00:04:28,453 You can't postpone your trip. 86 00:04:28,487 --> 00:04:30,958 Dad said I should put him down now, not prolong it. 87 00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:34,331 Oh, right. Well, your fucking father would say that. 88 00:04:34,364 --> 00:04:37,337 Sorry, Kirby was his gift. 89 00:04:37,370 --> 00:04:39,341 I feel like he's got a say in it. 90 00:04:39,374 --> 00:04:40,376 Of course. 91 00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:42,413 What does he think about your film? 92 00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,817 I haven't talked to him about it yet. 93 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:44,986 Oh. 94 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,022 Well, you could arrive 95 00:04:47,055 --> 00:04:48,960 to a house full of stray gays 96 00:04:48,994 --> 00:04:51,499 and he won't have time for you or Frances. 97 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:52,668 Maybe. 98 00:04:54,705 --> 00:04:57,175 I picked up mince from the butcher, and I read that 99 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,381 if you put the tablets in that, he should eat it. 100 00:04:59,414 --> 00:05:00,717 If that doesn't work, 101 00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:02,755 get the vet to make it into a flavoured liquid. 102 00:05:02,788 --> 00:05:05,158 Yeah, if he changes energy levels or appetite, 103 00:05:05,191 --> 00:05:06,428 you let me know. 104 00:05:07,631 --> 00:05:09,066 Sorry. 105 00:05:09,099 --> 00:05:11,472 Yeah, well, the teaching helps pay for the trip over, 106 00:05:11,506 --> 00:05:14,143 but we will see him. 107 00:05:14,176 --> 00:05:15,814 We're staying with him. 108 00:05:15,847 --> 00:05:17,383 Yeah, we're staying with him, Mum. 109 00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:21,726 I'm going so I can see Dad, so, yeah, of course. 110 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:25,801 Listen, I've got to go, 111 00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:27,303 but, uh, if he changes even his gait 112 00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:31,277 or... or sleeping patterns, you let me know, OK? 113 00:05:31,311 --> 00:05:32,781 Bye. 114 00:05:36,456 --> 00:05:37,891 Are you OK, Mum? 115 00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,797 I should have said, "I love you." 116 00:05:40,831 --> 00:05:41,966 To Kirby? 117 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,670 No, to Mum. I just said, "Bye." 118 00:05:43,703 --> 00:05:45,474 I should have said, "I love you." 119 00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,053 Have a good flight. 120 00:05:55,961 --> 00:05:56,929 All good? 121 00:05:56,963 --> 00:05:58,933 Yeah, all good. 122 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,470 What did you want to talk about? 123 00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:04,545 It's OK. Now's not a good time. 124 00:06:04,578 --> 00:06:06,280 It's fine. Tell me. 125 00:06:06,313 --> 00:06:07,818 OK. 126 00:06:08,953 --> 00:06:11,391 I wanna live with Jimpa for a bit. 127 00:06:11,425 --> 00:06:13,095 What do you mean? 128 00:06:13,128 --> 00:06:14,799 Mm, I was thinking 129 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,370 I could do Year 11 in Amsterdam with Jimpa. 130 00:06:17,403 --> 00:06:19,407 - No way. - Why not? 131 00:06:21,846 --> 00:06:23,583 He's still recovering from a stroke. 132 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,352 That was three years ago. 133 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,693 No way! It's an important year next year and you're only 16. 134 00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:31,263 And we're your parents, not Jim. 135 00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:32,634 Why don't you wait? 136 00:06:32,668 --> 00:06:35,372 Do it after graduation. You can have a gap year. 137 00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:38,145 Because I need to experience a bigger queer community 138 00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:39,949 than my shitty LGBT club at school 139 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,283 in my shitty little city. 140 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,456 But you love school. 141 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,226 I used to. 142 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,398 Is that why you packed so much? 143 00:06:48,432 --> 00:06:51,004 You just thought you'd stay there? 144 00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:53,877 Oh! What a waste of a return flight. 145 00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:55,079 We could have saved a fortune! 146 00:06:55,112 --> 00:06:56,280 OK, let's talk about this later. 147 00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:57,918 But you asked me to talk about it. 148 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,822 I feel like I need to give you my full attention. 149 00:06:59,855 --> 00:07:01,258 I don't think I can do that at the moment. 150 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,863 OK, well, let's just all relax. 151 00:07:10,644 --> 00:07:11,779 Mum? 152 00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:12,948 Mmm? 153 00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:14,585 It's OK. 154 00:07:24,872 --> 00:07:27,310 Kirby was a gift from my father. 155 00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:31,017 One day he turned up with an uncontrollable puppy. 156 00:07:32,621 --> 00:07:35,861 I didn't want him, but I didn't get a choice. 157 00:07:36,963 --> 00:07:39,234 Says a lot about my dad. 158 00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:42,975 The day my mum gave birth to me, 159 00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:45,378 my grandfather got on the first flight to Adelaide. 160 00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:47,751 I wanted us to be alone 161 00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,722 with our newborn baby. 162 00:07:49,755 --> 00:07:51,859 But he rang from the front door 163 00:07:51,893 --> 00:07:53,228 with a painting. 164 00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:57,604 And my mum was so happy to see him. 165 00:07:57,638 --> 00:07:59,608 And she said to me, "Frances, 166 00:07:59,642 --> 00:08:01,846 "this person will tell you about art 167 00:08:01,879 --> 00:08:04,985 "and politics and theatre. 168 00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:07,958 "He will challenge you to be the best version of yourself." 169 00:08:09,193 --> 00:08:10,897 I simply said, 170 00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:13,970 "Frances, this is your grandpa, Jim." 171 00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:16,341 But he thought 'grandpa' sounded too old. 172 00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:18,947 So he gave himself a new name. 173 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,382 He said... 174 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,088 "Hello, Frances. I'm Jimpa." 175 00:08:28,165 --> 00:08:30,904 The thing is, I don't think I would be here 176 00:08:30,937 --> 00:08:35,547 openly trans, non-binary, queer if it wasn't for him. 177 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,987 That's him sometime in the '50s. 178 00:08:41,157 --> 00:08:42,326 He loves art 179 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,896 and he loves to get naked. 180 00:08:45,199 --> 00:08:46,836 And he still has a painting 181 00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:49,340 that he sat for years ago which hangs 182 00:08:49,374 --> 00:08:52,113 in his apartment in Amsterdam for all to see. 183 00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:58,125 He married my grandmother, Katherine, in 1973. 184 00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:00,530 They had Emily, my aunt, 185 00:09:00,563 --> 00:09:03,168 and Hannah, my mum. 186 00:09:03,201 --> 00:09:06,274 Right after my mum was born, Jimpa came out as gay. 187 00:09:14,257 --> 00:09:16,261 My grandma got really skinny after this, 188 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,764 as well as a big perm, 189 00:09:17,798 --> 00:09:21,304 and everyone complimented her on how amazing she looked. 190 00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:29,153 Uh, so, obviously it was devastating for her. 191 00:09:30,355 --> 00:09:32,494 Uh, we expect the... the narrative 192 00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:35,165 of a husband coming out to his wife 193 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:38,238 to follow the notes of a big betrayal in a marriage. 194 00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:41,077 But she chose to respond differently 195 00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:42,614 than what was expected. 196 00:09:42,647 --> 00:09:46,689 Um, they both decided on a new bond - 197 00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:50,262 to stay together, uh, to co-parent. 198 00:09:50,295 --> 00:09:52,299 Uh, also to have other relationships. 199 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:57,176 But they chose kindness rather than conflict. 200 00:09:57,209 --> 00:09:59,882 Jimpa always argues. 201 00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,485 Look, mate, you know... 202 00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:02,854 I don't think... 203 00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:04,123 He worked in politics 204 00:10:04,157 --> 00:10:05,527 when my mum was little. 205 00:10:08,431 --> 00:10:10,904 And then during the AIDS crisis, 206 00:10:10,937 --> 00:10:13,275 he moved to Amsterdam to work in public health. 207 00:10:14,443 --> 00:10:16,482 And he's never stopped fighting 208 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:20,591 for those he loves and for who he is. 209 00:10:20,624 --> 00:10:22,961 All the while still enjoying getting naked. 210 00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:28,138 So it's a personal story about my parents, 211 00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:32,480 um, and my main drive is to tell the story of the kindness 212 00:10:32,514 --> 00:10:34,985 they showed to each other over that period 213 00:10:35,018 --> 00:10:37,089 rather than the conflict. 214 00:10:38,358 --> 00:10:40,262 So it's a drama without conflict. 215 00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:45,072 But... 216 00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:48,245 ...isn't drama by very definition conflict? 217 00:10:49,514 --> 00:10:52,286 I think it's possible to make a compelling film 218 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,956 avoiding it completely. 219 00:10:55,158 --> 00:10:56,696 I don't think it is. 220 00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,634 I think you're wrong. 221 00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:02,974 See, is that conflict? 222 00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:05,212 Well, I think that's someone 223 00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:07,584 expressing a different opinion. 224 00:11:07,618 --> 00:11:09,253 A conflict of opinion. 225 00:11:10,389 --> 00:11:11,726 Therefore... 226 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,161 ...conflict. 227 00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:15,701 Maybe. 228 00:11:17,269 --> 00:11:19,676 So he's not just my grandpa. 229 00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:23,148 I think he's my true forever hero. 230 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,486 Any questions? 231 00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:45,828 We should wake Frances up. 232 00:11:48,466 --> 00:11:50,970 Don't. Let them sleep. 233 00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:56,648 It's probably just a passing fancy, 234 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,552 the excitement of travel. 235 00:11:58,586 --> 00:12:00,758 So you do think it's a bad idea. 236 00:12:02,226 --> 00:12:04,196 I think once Frances spends some time with Dad, 237 00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:05,566 they'll soon change their mind. 238 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,136 Really? 239 00:12:07,169 --> 00:12:08,973 Frances idolises him. 240 00:12:09,006 --> 00:12:11,377 But they only see each other once every couple of years 241 00:12:11,411 --> 00:12:12,782 and Frances has built up 242 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,451 this idea of him in their head. 243 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,122 And Dad can be very appealing, 244 00:12:17,156 --> 00:12:18,959 but just because he's got all these great, 245 00:12:18,993 --> 00:12:20,328 very admirable ideals 246 00:12:20,362 --> 00:12:22,232 doesn't mean he necessarily puts them into practice. 247 00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:24,336 Can you imagine living with Dad for a year? 248 00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:25,874 No. 249 00:12:25,908 --> 00:12:28,579 And we don't want to be the ones saying no to Frances. 250 00:12:28,612 --> 00:12:29,581 It doesn't help. 251 00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:31,518 I'm quite happy saying no. 252 00:12:31,552 --> 00:12:33,121 But you prefer Frances to be 253 00:12:33,154 --> 00:12:35,425 disappointed by your father rather than by you. 254 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,264 Or... 255 00:12:38,431 --> 00:12:41,806 . ..we let Frances come to understand Jim a bit better... 256 00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,443 . ..and make a better choice then. 257 00:12:50,322 --> 00:12:52,059 Their food's getting cold. 258 00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:55,031 So the food gets cold. Let them sleep. 259 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,371 Is making our daughter go hungry 260 00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,408 really worth avoiding this conversation? 261 00:13:00,442 --> 00:13:03,381 Do you think Frances would rather we use the word 'child' 262 00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:04,819 than 'daughter'? 263 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,990 Why don't we ask them? 264 00:13:27,597 --> 00:13:28,967 Richard! 265 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,437 What a beautiful sight! 266 00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:32,908 There he is. 267 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,477 Richard. 268 00:13:35,613 --> 00:13:36,783 Smiling. 269 00:13:40,422 --> 00:13:42,326 Hey. 270 00:13:42,359 --> 00:13:44,396 - Oh, look at you! - Oh! 271 00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,167 Oh, wow! 272 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,038 Sorry, we didn't sleep much on the plane. 273 00:13:48,072 --> 00:13:50,141 Why are you apologising? Do we smell? 274 00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:51,545 No, it's 'cause Richard's 275 00:13:51,578 --> 00:13:53,082 so perfectly put together. 276 00:13:53,114 --> 00:13:54,116 You're so stylish. 277 00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:55,418 Oh, thank you. 278 00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:58,257 Welcome, my smelly, unfashionable Australians. 279 00:13:58,291 --> 00:14:00,261 Welkom in Amsterdam. 280 00:14:18,532 --> 00:14:19,701 Where's Dad? 281 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,505 The Professor is "working". 282 00:14:21,538 --> 00:14:23,843 He sent me to collect you with the boat. 283 00:14:23,877 --> 00:14:25,445 -Oh, we're going by boat? -Yeah, I know. 284 00:14:25,479 --> 00:14:27,083 It's ridiculous and touristy, 285 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,253 but he said that Frances always loved the boat. 286 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,891 I'm not sure we'll all fit in. 287 00:14:30,924 --> 00:14:33,595 Oh, let's just go. I really need to eat something. 288 00:14:33,629 --> 00:14:34,965 Oh! 289 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,168 - Shut up. - OK. Alright. 290 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,335 Let me grab this. 291 00:14:37,369 --> 00:14:38,639 - Wait, are they... - Nuh-uh-uh. 292 00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,293 Sorry! 293 00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,157 As his valued research assistant, 294 00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,260 do you do many domestic errands? 295 00:15:06,293 --> 00:15:08,565 Who said anything about research assistant? 296 00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:10,703 I'm his damn everything assistant. 297 00:15:11,906 --> 00:15:14,210 At least for now. 298 00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,780 Is everything OK? 299 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,489 He's leaving the university at the end of the month. 300 00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:22,727 Well, that wasn't gonna last forever. 301 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,164 Mmm. 302 00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:28,973 Does that mean you won't have a job after that? 303 00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:31,678 He says I will, but I don't see how. 304 00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:35,318 I'd follow him to the end of the earth anyway. 305 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,490 You know what he'd say to that? 306 00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:40,863 "Be grateful and fuckin' move on." 307 00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,504 Oh, it's so nice to see you. 308 00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:46,407 Well, it's really nice to see you too. 309 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,543 Yeah. 310 00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:54,791 Where'd you get that piece of shit? 311 00:15:54,824 --> 00:15:56,027 Oh! 312 00:15:57,429 --> 00:15:58,799 Why don't you borrow one of mine? 313 00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,204 No, no, don't you dare! It's only got 27 shots. 314 00:16:01,238 --> 00:16:03,475 -Oh, OK, well, get it... -Dad! 315 00:16:03,508 --> 00:16:05,378 -Why not? -Give it back. 316 00:16:05,411 --> 00:16:06,882 It's mine! 317 00:16:11,124 --> 00:16:12,894 Very good. 318 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,299 Photographer! Like father, like child. 319 00:16:15,332 --> 00:16:17,136 Whoa. 320 00:16:17,169 --> 00:16:18,705 Makes me sound like a kid. 321 00:16:18,739 --> 00:16:20,977 Hiya! We're very wet! 322 00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:24,083 Hey, um, I've been meaning to ask. 323 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,321 Would you prefer 'daughter' or 'child'? 324 00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:28,424 Hmm, I mean, 'daughter's not great, 325 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,095 but, um, I don't want you to be calling me 'child' 326 00:16:30,129 --> 00:16:31,197 when I'm an adult. 327 00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:32,833 Dad still calls me child. 328 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,372 Because you'll always be my child! 329 00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:37,043 Hello! 330 00:16:37,076 --> 00:16:39,647 It's the celebrity children! 331 00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:42,086 Come here, come here. Oh! 332 00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:44,691 Never be afraid to be called a child. 333 00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:46,227 It's humbling. 334 00:16:46,261 --> 00:16:49,000 - Harry! - Hi! Hello! 335 00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:51,973 -How are you? -My glorious grand-thing! 336 00:16:52,006 --> 00:16:54,979 Oh, you're all soggy. 337 00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,149 I told you it was going to rain today, Richard. 338 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,685 No hugs for you. 339 00:16:58,719 --> 00:17:00,589 You also told me to take out the boat. 340 00:17:00,622 --> 00:17:02,960 Yeah, think for yourself. That's what I pay you for. 341 00:17:02,995 --> 00:17:06,768 Old man, that is the one thing you do not pay me for. 342 00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:09,607 Oh, years later and not one single sexual favour. 343 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:10,943 Dad! 344 00:17:10,976 --> 00:17:13,815 No, he's not good for anything except making tea. 345 00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:15,652 So go make tea, assistant. 346 00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,256 Dad, you can't say this stuff. 347 00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:18,925 You don't know what you're talking about, Professor. 348 00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:20,929 - You never let me make tea. - I'll make the tea. 349 00:17:20,963 --> 00:17:22,467 Yes, you go, Harry. 350 00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:24,203 Milk in first, otherwise you'll... 351 00:17:24,237 --> 00:17:25,539 . ..get pregnant. 352 00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:27,209 - Yeah. - Look. Look, look, look, look. 353 00:17:27,243 --> 00:17:28,845 Look what I got out. 354 00:17:28,879 --> 00:17:30,382 -Ooh! -Look. 355 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,920 Decades worth. 356 00:17:32,953 --> 00:17:35,325 Here. Uh, this one. 357 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,497 'Dorothy's Best Friend'. 358 00:17:37,531 --> 00:17:39,535 Hmm! What does that mean? 359 00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:40,803 Oh! 360 00:17:40,836 --> 00:17:44,077 My dear grand-thing, you have so much to learn. 361 00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:47,015 That's when there was such a thing as subtext. 362 00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:48,453 The unnamed. 363 00:17:48,486 --> 00:17:51,925 When we had to use euphemism to show solidarity, 364 00:17:51,958 --> 00:17:54,498 to codify and identify. 365 00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,632 That sounds horrifying. 366 00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:58,338 You're all text now. 367 00:17:58,371 --> 00:17:59,740 No subtext. 368 00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,211 No nuance. 369 00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:03,849 Yeah, well, it's tough not being repressed. 370 00:18:06,254 --> 00:18:08,725 'Talk with us, not about us'. 371 00:18:08,758 --> 00:18:11,599 Hobart, 1988. 372 00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:14,437 Yeah. You see, Richard? Good memory. 373 00:18:14,471 --> 00:18:16,475 Well done, Professor. 374 00:18:16,509 --> 00:18:21,117 Ah, this one. '3rd National Conference on AIDS'. 375 00:18:21,151 --> 00:18:25,259 We asked everyone with HIV to take the stage. 376 00:18:26,761 --> 00:18:28,165 That was when we first discovered 377 00:18:28,198 --> 00:18:31,036 that 50% of the staff were positive. 378 00:18:33,275 --> 00:18:34,877 Including me. 379 00:18:35,879 --> 00:18:38,452 It was a scary moment, 380 00:18:38,486 --> 00:18:39,454 but rallying. 381 00:18:41,691 --> 00:18:45,732 More than half would be dead within only a few years. 382 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,039 As a friend of mine once said, 383 00:18:49,072 --> 00:18:51,811 "The toll of being at the epicentre 384 00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:54,350 "was very large." 385 00:18:58,892 --> 00:19:01,264 'It's Not Just a Phase Week, 1984'. 386 00:19:01,297 --> 00:19:02,467 - Very cute. - Hmm. 387 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,504 These are all for you. 388 00:19:05,473 --> 00:19:06,542 What? 389 00:19:06,575 --> 00:19:08,812 -I'm bequeathing them to you. -Why? 390 00:19:08,845 --> 00:19:10,983 What, my daughter doesn't want them? 391 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,920 Surely there's an archive you can donate them to? 392 00:19:12,953 --> 00:19:14,458 Well, yes, but they're for you. 393 00:19:14,491 --> 00:19:16,127 I'll definitely take them. 394 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,131 I feel a bit ambushed - this is quite morbid, 395 00:19:18,164 --> 00:19:19,967 like there's gonna be the reading of a will. 396 00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:21,739 They're just badges! 397 00:19:21,771 --> 00:19:23,643 Why have you decided to do this now? 398 00:19:23,676 --> 00:19:25,011 What's the doctor say? 399 00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:27,416 You worry too much. 400 00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:29,621 I thought Frances would like them and she did. 401 00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:30,690 They! 402 00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:31,725 Oh! 403 00:19:33,161 --> 00:19:36,167 Would they like to give me another hug 404 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,103 or are they too busy self-identifying? 405 00:19:38,138 --> 00:19:40,842 Why do you have to be so provocative all the time? 406 00:19:40,876 --> 00:19:43,214 Oh, I missed you. 407 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,319 I love you too much! 408 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,522 I love you too, Richard. 409 00:19:46,555 --> 00:19:48,726 - Hmm. - My beautiful assistant. 410 00:19:50,061 --> 00:19:51,230 I don't want your badges either, 411 00:19:51,264 --> 00:19:52,399 but thank you very much. 412 00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,370 Oh, shit! It took me all morning. 413 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,508 - I cried twice. - You did not! 414 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:58,010 Three times. 415 00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:00,315 I might have a little lie-down. 416 00:20:00,349 --> 00:20:01,951 I didn't get much sleep on the plane. 417 00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:03,988 -Mmm. -You don't want your tea? 418 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,466 Blatant display of heterosexuality. 419 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,867 That's enough now! 420 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,371 Oh, oh, oh. 421 00:20:11,404 --> 00:20:14,778 There's one I especially wanted to find. 422 00:20:14,811 --> 00:20:15,847 Mmm? 423 00:20:25,298 --> 00:20:26,602 That's you. 424 00:20:26,635 --> 00:20:28,271 Yes! 425 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,819 Hmm? 426 00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:54,088 hmmm? 427 00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,260 You should have woken me up. 428 00:20:58,298 --> 00:20:59,801 You're too cute when you sleep. 429 00:20:59,835 --> 00:21:01,404 Why would I wake you up? 430 00:21:01,437 --> 00:21:03,476 I wanted to get through some work 431 00:21:03,509 --> 00:21:05,613 so I could spend the day with Dad and Frances. 432 00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:07,450 They know you have to work. 433 00:21:07,484 --> 00:21:09,821 Yeah, I know, but it doesn't mean they like it. 434 00:21:11,892 --> 00:21:13,394 Are you afraid that Frances 435 00:21:13,428 --> 00:21:15,298 will spend some time alone with Jim? 436 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,979 At some point, he is gonna hurt Frances. 437 00:21:22,011 --> 00:21:24,818 Yeah. Isn't that your plan? 438 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:27,322 Frances spends time with Jim. 439 00:21:27,356 --> 00:21:30,127 He eventually disappoints them 440 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,198 and they change their mind 441 00:21:32,231 --> 00:21:34,135 about wanting to live here for a year. 442 00:21:35,070 --> 00:21:37,108 Yeah, but there is a difference between 443 00:21:37,141 --> 00:21:38,679 being disappointed and being hurt. 444 00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:41,317 So talk to our child. 445 00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:43,421 Tell them what to expect. 446 00:21:45,793 --> 00:21:48,130 He said, "I love you," to Frances. 447 00:21:48,163 --> 00:21:49,935 And to Richard. 448 00:21:51,069 --> 00:21:52,640 He never used to say, "I love you." 449 00:21:52,674 --> 00:21:54,075 He used to say, "You show love 450 00:21:54,108 --> 00:21:55,680 "with actions, not empty words." 451 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,521 He's softened since the stroke. 452 00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:01,959 He's different. 453 00:22:03,662 --> 00:22:05,933 Your cunning plan might not work. 454 00:22:07,737 --> 00:22:09,808 Oh. Maybe. 455 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:15,920 Hmm. 456 00:22:15,953 --> 00:22:17,457 Go get 'em, tiger. 457 00:22:39,298 --> 00:22:41,269 I love it. I really do. 458 00:22:42,372 --> 00:22:45,244 I do find it hard to believe there wasn't any conflict 459 00:22:45,277 --> 00:22:49,086 when your dad finally left you at... 460 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:50,321 13. 461 00:22:50,355 --> 00:22:51,892 ...13. 462 00:22:52,827 --> 00:22:55,966 Conflict would have been there even if it's repressed. 463 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,373 I think any 13-year-old would be sad 464 00:22:59,406 --> 00:23:00,843 being without their father. 465 00:23:00,876 --> 00:23:02,613 Why did he leave, then? 466 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:06,187 After staying with your mother for so long after coming out? 467 00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,557 Uh, work. 468 00:23:07,590 --> 00:23:10,863 As a gay man and a political one, he hit a ceiling, 469 00:23:10,896 --> 00:23:12,467 and, uh... 470 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,103 . ..he needed to find opportunities 471 00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:16,641 in a more progressive part of the world. 472 00:23:17,744 --> 00:23:18,779 OK. 473 00:23:18,812 --> 00:23:21,485 So there is conflict there for him. 474 00:23:21,518 --> 00:23:26,026 Do I stay with my family and sacrifice my own ambition? 475 00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:28,799 Or do I owe it to myself 476 00:23:28,832 --> 00:23:31,838 to fully explore who I am and my opportunities? 477 00:23:31,872 --> 00:23:34,409 But he hit the ceiling and he made the choice 478 00:23:34,443 --> 00:23:35,813 at the expense of his family. 479 00:23:35,846 --> 00:23:37,784 The family accepted him, 480 00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:39,253 loved him, 481 00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,892 he was able to be himself, but... 482 00:23:41,925 --> 00:23:43,394 ...still left them. 483 00:23:44,396 --> 00:23:45,499 You weren't hurt 484 00:23:45,533 --> 00:23:47,334 or angry at your father leaving? 485 00:23:48,336 --> 00:23:52,914 Uh, we understood that he needed to leave. 486 00:23:52,947 --> 00:23:54,551 What matters to me 487 00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:57,790 is how hard everyone tried to do the right thing. 488 00:23:57,824 --> 00:24:00,529 Uh, it's not important if I was hurt or angry. 489 00:24:00,563 --> 00:24:02,700 What if I'm angry now, for instance? 490 00:24:03,635 --> 00:24:05,004 You're angry now? 491 00:24:05,038 --> 00:24:08,177 Mmm. Would it help to express it? 492 00:24:08,211 --> 00:24:10,181 Uh, I'm not so sure. 493 00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,585 And would it help with this meeting 494 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,154 or us working together? 495 00:24:13,187 --> 00:24:14,791 Definitely not. 496 00:24:17,530 --> 00:24:20,335 O... ok, um... 497 00:24:22,239 --> 00:24:24,076 Fuck me. 498 00:24:31,925 --> 00:24:33,160 Hello? 499 00:24:33,194 --> 00:24:34,329 Hello? 500 00:24:36,233 --> 00:24:37,302 Hello? 501 00:24:37,335 --> 00:24:38,572 Hello. 502 00:24:41,778 --> 00:24:44,517 I bet he hasn't left one for you. 503 00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:45,619 Oh! 504 00:24:45,653 --> 00:24:47,322 You should take it while you're here. 505 00:24:48,892 --> 00:24:50,996 I'm sorry we've taken over your bedroom. 506 00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:53,234 Well, it's definitely not my bedroom. 507 00:24:54,837 --> 00:24:56,875 And I've been staying here less and less. 508 00:25:07,964 --> 00:25:09,032 You think... 509 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,345 Oh! 510 00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:18,518 It was convenient for a while, but now not so much. 511 00:25:18,552 --> 00:25:20,622 Have you moved closer to Amsterdam? 512 00:25:20,656 --> 00:25:24,196 No, no, it's just I need to work when I'm in town 513 00:25:24,229 --> 00:25:26,668 and, you know, your father takes up a lot of time. 514 00:25:26,701 --> 00:25:29,206 He does demand attention. 515 00:25:29,239 --> 00:25:32,178 I've been wanting to talk to him about it for a while. 516 00:25:32,212 --> 00:25:33,682 I see. 517 00:25:36,153 --> 00:25:37,923 He's still struggling. 518 00:25:37,957 --> 00:25:39,727 Emily said. 519 00:25:39,761 --> 00:25:41,397 Since your sister left, 520 00:25:41,430 --> 00:25:43,935 Richard's been doing most of the heavy lifting. 521 00:25:43,969 --> 00:25:45,639 He has sent me a lot of articles 522 00:25:45,672 --> 00:25:47,008 and grant applications 523 00:25:47,042 --> 00:25:50,517 to finish off and smooth out when I can. 524 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,419 You shouldn't be the one covering for him. 525 00:25:53,789 --> 00:25:55,926 I'm sorry none of us have been here to help. 526 00:26:00,636 --> 00:26:02,807 You can stop looking after him. 527 00:26:03,842 --> 00:26:04,944 Hmm. 528 00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:10,354 You sound like him. 529 00:26:14,997 --> 00:26:16,501 Over the years, he has taught me 530 00:26:16,535 --> 00:26:18,905 to need him less and less, but... 531 00:26:20,074 --> 00:26:21,176 But he's still hurt 532 00:26:21,210 --> 00:26:22,581 that you're not around as much. 533 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,452 Hmm. Yeah. 534 00:26:26,621 --> 00:26:28,090 Thank you, Matti. 535 00:26:28,124 --> 00:26:29,259 Hot, I hope. 536 00:26:29,292 --> 00:26:30,729 If only you were hot. 537 00:26:31,831 --> 00:26:33,167 You have to be careful with steroids 538 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,436 if you're taking warfarin. 539 00:26:34,470 --> 00:26:35,839 Why are you taking steroids? 540 00:26:35,873 --> 00:26:38,645 A date the other week said I looked too skinny. 541 00:26:38,678 --> 00:26:39,981 - A date? - Yes! 542 00:26:40,014 --> 00:26:41,350 He means a hook-up. 543 00:26:41,383 --> 00:26:44,824 You've looked exactly the same for 97 years, Mark. 544 00:26:44,857 --> 00:26:46,528 You've had no problem before. 545 00:27:11,711 --> 00:27:14,618 Whoo! 546 00:27:17,355 --> 00:27:19,827 Steroids don't work on old men. 547 00:27:19,860 --> 00:27:21,699 I sense you've already tried. 548 00:27:21,731 --> 00:27:22,866 Of course. 549 00:27:24,470 --> 00:27:27,108 But what are you into, Frances? 550 00:27:27,141 --> 00:27:28,545 What can we help you with? 551 00:27:28,578 --> 00:27:30,281 Uh, 'into'? 552 00:27:30,314 --> 00:27:31,751 Are you a lesbian? 553 00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:33,320 Don't be so old. 554 00:27:33,354 --> 00:27:35,826 What? That's not a bad question, is it? 555 00:27:35,859 --> 00:27:38,330 You can't be a lesbian if you're not a woman. 556 00:27:38,364 --> 00:27:39,399 Oh. 557 00:27:39,432 --> 00:27:41,904 I like women and I'm also attracted to 558 00:27:41,938 --> 00:27:44,175 people who don't identify as a gender either way 559 00:27:44,209 --> 00:27:45,713 but are a bit femme. 560 00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,516 I love how much your generation 561 00:27:47,549 --> 00:27:48,785 knows what they want. 562 00:27:48,818 --> 00:27:50,288 It doesn't sound like anything. 563 00:27:50,321 --> 00:27:53,093 It's not a preference, it's a non-preference. 564 00:27:53,127 --> 00:27:54,195 So... 565 00:27:54,229 --> 00:27:55,599 . ..you don't like men. 566 00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,168 Cis men. 567 00:27:57,201 --> 00:27:58,404 Penis? 568 00:27:58,437 --> 00:28:00,074 I don't know. 569 00:28:00,107 --> 00:28:02,245 Jim, can we talk about how unsatisfying 570 00:28:02,278 --> 00:28:03,948 getting your penis sucked is now? 571 00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:05,051 Oh, you too? 572 00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:06,655 I feel it's getting lower and lower 573 00:28:06,689 --> 00:28:08,057 on my pleasure scale. 574 00:28:08,090 --> 00:28:10,495 That's because you go straight for hole. 575 00:28:10,529 --> 00:28:12,866 Oh, you're right. I do love ass too much. 576 00:28:14,202 --> 00:28:17,976 Frances has still not stated a preference. 577 00:28:19,947 --> 00:28:23,220 Well, genitals aren't really what attracts me to people. 578 00:28:23,253 --> 00:28:24,791 How are we talking about genitals 579 00:28:24,825 --> 00:28:26,594 all of a sudden, anyway? 580 00:28:26,627 --> 00:28:28,330 Because you're talking to us. 581 00:28:28,364 --> 00:28:30,034 It's all for show, Frances. 582 00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:32,473 We mostly talk about real estate now. 583 00:28:32,506 --> 00:28:34,409 In that regard, Amsterdam has gotten much better. 584 00:28:34,442 --> 00:28:36,012 You're such a conservative. 585 00:28:36,046 --> 00:28:37,215 I'm just being encouraging 586 00:28:37,248 --> 00:28:39,352 towards Frances's idea of moving here. 587 00:28:40,589 --> 00:28:42,425 You know, Amsterdam used to be about 588 00:28:42,459 --> 00:28:45,398 squatter protests and housing rights, but the government's 589 00:28:45,431 --> 00:28:47,135 free-market push is a disgrace. 590 00:28:47,168 --> 00:28:48,972 ♪ Don't leave me this way... ♪ 591 00:28:49,005 --> 00:28:50,207 None of my students will be 592 00:28:50,241 --> 00:28:51,410 able to buy in their lifetimes. 593 00:28:51,443 --> 00:28:52,546 ♪ I can't survive... ♪ 594 00:28:52,579 --> 00:28:54,048 And the sale of social housing 595 00:28:54,082 --> 00:28:55,284 has only increased the problem. 596 00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:58,090 Says the man who owns one of those apartments. 597 00:28:58,123 --> 00:28:59,960 -Hmm! -♪ Oh, baby ♪ 598 00:28:59,994 --> 00:29:04,068 ♪ Don't leave me this way... ♪ 599 00:29:04,102 --> 00:29:06,809 This is their way of getting me to change the subject. 600 00:29:06,842 --> 00:29:08,578 ♪ I will surely miss ♪ 601 00:29:08,611 --> 00:29:10,549 ♪ Your tender kiss ♪ 602 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,220 ♪ So don't leave me this way ♪ 603 00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:16,461 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 604 00:29:16,494 --> 00:29:19,432 ♪ My heart is full of love And desire for you ♪ 605 00:29:19,467 --> 00:29:22,438 ♪ So come on down and do What you gotta do ♪ 606 00:29:22,473 --> 00:29:25,813 ♪ You started this fire Down in my soul ♪ 607 00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:27,315 ♪ Now can't you see it's Burning ♪ 608 00:29:27,348 --> 00:29:28,953 -♪ Out of control-♪ Out of control ♪ 609 00:29:28,985 --> 00:29:30,221 ♪ Out of control... ♪ 610 00:29:36,869 --> 00:29:39,841 A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind. 611 00:29:39,875 --> 00:29:42,445 Sit anywhere you like. I won't be long. 612 00:30:05,927 --> 00:30:07,361 Hello! 613 00:30:07,395 --> 00:30:08,363 Hi! 614 00:30:08,397 --> 00:30:09,633 Who is it? 615 00:30:09,667 --> 00:30:10,903 It's me. 616 00:30:10,937 --> 00:30:13,541 You should say your name, not just hello. 617 00:30:13,575 --> 00:30:16,112 Don't know who it is or what you want, otherwise. 618 00:30:16,146 --> 00:30:18,183 You do like self-identifying, you hypocrite. 619 00:30:19,821 --> 00:30:21,490 Hello, it's me, your daughter, Hannah. 620 00:30:21,524 --> 00:30:23,862 That's it? Just a daughter? 621 00:30:23,896 --> 00:30:28,671 And a filmmaker and a mother and a woman. 622 00:30:28,705 --> 00:30:29,740 Is that better? 623 00:30:29,773 --> 00:30:31,176 Impressive. 624 00:30:32,445 --> 00:30:35,284 So Mirjam gave me her key today 625 00:30:35,317 --> 00:30:37,623 'cause someone didn't leave one behind for me. 626 00:30:37,656 --> 00:30:39,359 Who else has a key to the apartment? 627 00:30:39,392 --> 00:30:40,462 No-one. 628 00:30:40,495 --> 00:30:43,735 Like my body, my home is my temple. 629 00:30:43,768 --> 00:30:46,239 And what happens if you have another stroke? 630 00:30:46,272 --> 00:30:47,643 Oh, god. 631 00:30:47,676 --> 00:30:49,513 If I have another stroke, 632 00:30:49,546 --> 00:30:51,885 even if you're here, go out and have a coffee. 633 00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:53,220 Jimpa! 634 00:30:53,253 --> 00:30:54,657 No, I'm deadly serious. 635 00:30:54,690 --> 00:30:56,192 Let me die. 636 00:30:56,226 --> 00:30:58,464 A diminished life is no life for me at all. 637 00:30:58,498 --> 00:30:59,868 A diminished life? 638 00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:01,269 That's a little bit ableist, Jimpa. 639 00:31:02,572 --> 00:31:04,375 So, is that why no-one else has a key? 640 00:31:04,409 --> 00:31:05,779 Well, of course. 641 00:31:05,812 --> 00:31:06,882 No-one. 642 00:31:06,915 --> 00:31:08,651 That's everyone off the hook, then. 643 00:31:08,685 --> 00:31:11,389 No-one feels the need to check up on me. 644 00:31:11,423 --> 00:31:14,395 And if you keep calling and there's no answer, 645 00:31:14,429 --> 00:31:17,169 wait a week before you break the door down. 646 00:31:17,201 --> 00:31:18,538 I should be dead by then. 647 00:31:18,571 --> 00:31:20,542 Richard has a key. 648 00:31:20,575 --> 00:31:22,378 Oh, yes, Richard has a key. 649 00:31:22,411 --> 00:31:24,215 And although my sister lives in another country, 650 00:31:24,248 --> 00:31:25,652 I bet she still has a key. 651 00:31:25,685 --> 00:31:27,055 Well, of course Emily has a key. 652 00:31:27,089 --> 00:31:28,223 She lived here for three years 653 00:31:28,256 --> 00:31:30,095 while she looked after me like an angel. 654 00:31:30,128 --> 00:31:31,362 I should have a key. 655 00:31:31,396 --> 00:31:33,201 You most certainly will need a key, 656 00:31:33,233 --> 00:31:34,470 if you're gonna live here. 657 00:31:34,503 --> 00:31:37,075 Have you talked about that, have you? 658 00:31:39,813 --> 00:31:43,353 Yeah, it was my idea, even before Frances mentioned it. 659 00:31:43,386 --> 00:31:44,790 I was thinking she needed... 660 00:31:44,823 --> 00:31:46,127 They, Jim. They. 661 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,765 . ..they needed to get out of Adelaide 662 00:31:48,798 --> 00:31:50,635 before it suffocates them. 663 00:31:50,668 --> 00:31:53,541 I love Adelaide, by the way, 664 00:31:53,574 --> 00:31:56,412 and I'm very glad you made something of yourself there 665 00:31:56,446 --> 00:31:57,749 when I wasn't able to. 666 00:31:57,783 --> 00:32:00,054 - Thank you. - Fucking miracle. 667 00:32:05,165 --> 00:32:07,803 Yeah, it's an idea that Frances just had. 668 00:32:07,836 --> 00:32:09,807 We haven't had a chance to talk about it much. 669 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,777 Even the small part of Amsterdam 670 00:32:11,811 --> 00:32:14,016 that I saw with Jimpa today just felt so good. 671 00:32:14,049 --> 00:32:15,953 It feels like a proper city. 672 00:32:15,986 --> 00:32:18,491 Hm. The timing couldn't be more perfect. 673 00:32:18,524 --> 00:32:20,061 I... I think it's perfect. 674 00:32:20,094 --> 00:32:21,898 What do you think? 675 00:32:23,634 --> 00:32:25,437 I think Frances is too young. 676 00:32:25,471 --> 00:32:26,707 For what? 677 00:32:27,642 --> 00:32:30,447 Well, Harry doesn't mean 'too young' exactly. 678 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,154 I think what Harry means is 679 00:32:33,187 --> 00:32:36,126 that you're a child for such a short amount of time 680 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,299 and then there's so much life that happens afterwards. 681 00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:42,205 But that time as a young person, as a young family, 682 00:32:42,239 --> 00:32:44,442 is limited and then... 683 00:32:44,476 --> 00:32:47,249 . ..you know, then it's gone and you can't get it back. 684 00:32:48,952 --> 00:32:52,659 But also Amsterdam is full of people who've had to leave 685 00:32:52,692 --> 00:32:54,363 in order to survive 686 00:32:54,395 --> 00:32:57,401 or, you know, find who they are or... 687 00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:59,974 Like, you know, my own father, for instance. 688 00:33:00,008 --> 00:33:02,746 So who am I to say what... what a person needs? 689 00:33:06,387 --> 00:33:09,092 Are you making your pea and ham soup? 690 00:33:09,126 --> 00:33:10,528 Yeah. 691 00:33:10,561 --> 00:33:12,499 Yeah, for a little gathering we're having tomorrow. 692 00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,801 - Ham? - Yeah. 693 00:33:13,834 --> 00:33:15,705 Dad used to make it for me all the time. 694 00:33:15,738 --> 00:33:18,311 Don't worry, I'll make something for you vegans. 695 00:33:18,344 --> 00:33:19,947 Right, I'll make something for us. 696 00:33:23,154 --> 00:33:29,166 ♪ Un bel dì, Vedremo ♪ 697 00:33:30,201 --> 00:33:36,013 ♪ Levarsi un fil di fumo ♪ 698 00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:43,594 ♪ Sull'estremo confin ♪ 699 00:33:43,627 --> 00:33:48,037 ♪ Del mare ♪ 700 00:33:48,070 --> 00:33:51,276 ♪ E poi ♪ 701 00:33:51,310 --> 00:33:56,720 ♪ La nave appare ♪ 702 00:33:56,754 --> 00:34:01,430 ♪ Chi sarà? Chi sarà? ♪ 703 00:34:01,464 --> 00:34:04,870 ♪ E come sarà giunto ♪ 704 00:34:04,903 --> 00:34:10,181 ♪ Che dirà? Che dirà? ♪ 705 00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:14,890 ♪ Chiamerà "Butterfly" ♪ 706 00:34:14,923 --> 00:34:18,664 ♪ Dalla lontana ♪ 707 00:34:18,697 --> 00:34:22,405 ♪ Lo senza dar risposta ♪ 708 00:34:22,439 --> 00:34:25,445 ♪ Me ne starò nascosta ♪ 709 00:34:25,479 --> 00:34:28,851 ♪ Un po' per celia ♪ 710 00:34:28,884 --> 00:34:31,857 ♪ E un po' ♪ 711 00:34:31,890 --> 00:34:35,798 ♪ Per non morire ♪ 712 00:34:35,832 --> 00:34:37,969 ♪ Al primo incontro... ♪ 713 00:34:41,710 --> 00:34:43,482 Dennis? 714 00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:46,053 I want you to meet my grand-thing, Frances. 715 00:34:46,086 --> 00:34:48,390 You two should sit down and talk. 716 00:34:48,424 --> 00:34:50,428 You know Dennis. We used to be together. 717 00:34:50,462 --> 00:34:51,564 Hi, Dennis. 718 00:34:51,598 --> 00:34:53,834 And your grandfather is a huge cunt. 719 00:34:55,606 --> 00:34:56,974 And now we're just good friends. 720 00:34:57,007 --> 00:34:58,811 Oh, the best, best friends. 721 00:34:58,844 --> 00:35:00,248 - Let's chat later, OK? - Please, yeah. 722 00:35:00,281 --> 00:35:02,050 - Great. - Uh, everyone! 723 00:35:02,085 --> 00:35:03,555 Everyone! 724 00:35:03,588 --> 00:35:07,896 If you haven't met my grand-thing, this is Frances. 725 00:35:07,929 --> 00:35:09,666 Hi, Frances! 726 00:35:09,699 --> 00:35:12,606 I want you to introduce yourself to them. 727 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,546 Yes, Frances is one of those young people 728 00:35:15,579 --> 00:35:20,988 who... suddenly has no gender, for some reason. 729 00:35:21,022 --> 00:35:23,961 So please respect that. 730 00:35:23,994 --> 00:35:25,331 Uh, anyway, 731 00:35:25,364 --> 00:35:28,605 I know most of you might be aware that my life 732 00:35:28,638 --> 00:35:31,611 is going through a small transition right now. 733 00:35:31,644 --> 00:35:36,853 I am finishing up my work at the university. 734 00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:39,694 -No, no. Boo! -No, no, no, no. 735 00:35:39,726 --> 00:35:40,895 I know, I know. 736 00:35:40,928 --> 00:35:42,533 But it's time I moved on from... 737 00:35:42,566 --> 00:35:44,869 . ..some of you old farts anyway. 738 00:35:44,903 --> 00:35:46,440 But... but don't worry - 739 00:35:46,474 --> 00:35:50,214 I'm not ready to sit behind my geraniums just yet. 740 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:53,622 In fact, I've just been on a call 741 00:35:53,655 --> 00:35:57,328 with a certain organisation in Helsinki 742 00:35:57,362 --> 00:35:59,266 about a job opportunity. 743 00:35:59,299 --> 00:36:03,675 Yes. That's in Finland, boys and girls. 744 00:36:03,708 --> 00:36:06,346 So I just wanted you all to be aware. 745 00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:07,882 They haven't made up their minds. 746 00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:10,086 I haven't made up my mind. 747 00:36:10,121 --> 00:36:12,726 But I want to acquaint you with the possibility... 748 00:36:20,676 --> 00:36:22,912 Ok, so... ok, what do i do? 749 00:36:22,945 --> 00:36:25,151 Keep your body still except for your arms. 750 00:36:25,184 --> 00:36:28,056 Uh-huh. OK, yeah. Like I said, the arms. 751 00:36:28,089 --> 00:36:29,660 -Arms. -And marching. 752 00:36:29,694 --> 00:36:32,030 Marching, marching. 753 00:36:32,064 --> 00:36:34,269 Make the arms, like, intentional. 754 00:36:34,302 --> 00:36:36,541 Tiny steps. Uh-huh. 755 00:36:36,574 --> 00:36:39,044 And... no. 756 00:36:39,078 --> 00:36:40,682 What? 757 00:36:40,716 --> 00:36:42,653 -It has intention. -OK, show me, show me. 758 00:36:42,686 --> 00:36:44,989 You don't have to go, like, fast all the time. 759 00:36:45,023 --> 00:36:48,798 You can go slow, slow. Slow, slow, slow. 760 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,436 - Ba-ba-ba. - Hey! 761 00:36:51,471 --> 00:36:54,209 Soft. Soft. Soft. 762 00:36:54,242 --> 00:36:56,647 And...and do soft. 763 00:36:59,754 --> 00:37:01,122 Whoo-hoo! 764 00:37:23,768 --> 00:37:24,870 I knew it. 765 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:27,476 Hmm. 766 00:37:27,509 --> 00:37:29,713 Leading Frances on like that. 767 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,249 Oh? 768 00:37:31,283 --> 00:37:33,855 Encouraging the idea of them moving over 769 00:37:33,888 --> 00:37:35,759 and then the next minute saying 770 00:37:35,792 --> 00:37:37,896 you've got job opportunities in another country. 771 00:37:37,930 --> 00:37:40,099 When did you organise that? 772 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:41,938 Mirjam hadn't said anything. 773 00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:44,107 Oh, you've seen Mirjam? 774 00:37:44,141 --> 00:37:45,745 Yeah, she's at the party now. 775 00:37:45,779 --> 00:37:46,914 Is she? 776 00:37:46,948 --> 00:37:48,149 Yeah. 777 00:37:48,182 --> 00:37:49,986 And she gave me her key yesterday, remember? 778 00:37:50,019 --> 00:37:52,358 Oh, yes. 779 00:37:52,391 --> 00:37:54,663 See, sometimes I don't know if you've lost your memory 780 00:37:54,697 --> 00:37:56,299 or you just don't care about these things. 781 00:37:57,603 --> 00:37:59,104 Come here. 782 00:38:00,709 --> 00:38:03,715 We haven't had nearly enough cuddles yet. 783 00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:05,685 OLDER Mmm! 784 00:38:09,425 --> 00:38:11,998 I'm sure it was just a passing fancy. 785 00:38:13,300 --> 00:38:15,337 The excitement of coming to see me. 786 00:38:17,375 --> 00:38:19,813 Are you taking a new job in a new country? 787 00:38:21,851 --> 00:38:23,152 Shouldn't I? 788 00:38:23,185 --> 00:38:25,223 Why don't you retire and just... 789 00:38:25,257 --> 00:38:26,494 And be an old man? 790 00:38:26,527 --> 00:38:28,698 -Water my geraniums? -Yeah, why not? 791 00:38:28,731 --> 00:38:30,569 Because there's so much to fight for. 792 00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:32,806 Because work is everything. 793 00:38:32,839 --> 00:38:34,309 Oh, it isn't everything. 794 00:38:34,342 --> 00:38:36,914 Oh, look who's talking. 795 00:38:38,618 --> 00:38:40,822 We need to feel useful, 796 00:38:40,855 --> 00:38:42,993 the two of us, hmm? 797 00:38:43,026 --> 00:38:44,227 Mmm. 798 00:38:44,261 --> 00:38:47,001 Mm-hm! Mademoiselle! 799 00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:48,738 Hmm. OK. 800 00:38:48,771 --> 00:38:50,809 But Professor Jim said to me that 801 00:38:50,842 --> 00:38:53,145 teenagers can't be into polyamory. 802 00:38:53,179 --> 00:38:54,683 They just like to cheat. 803 00:38:54,717 --> 00:38:56,921 Jim's never been monogamous in his life. 804 00:38:58,056 --> 00:38:59,927 Also, non-monogamous is so different 805 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:00,962 from polyamorous. 806 00:39:00,996 --> 00:39:02,031 True. 807 00:39:02,064 --> 00:39:04,302 Well, I'm still working that out. 808 00:39:05,639 --> 00:39:07,976 We know, baby, we know. 809 00:39:08,010 --> 00:39:09,078 We know. 810 00:39:11,450 --> 00:39:13,020 I'm definitely into polyamory. 811 00:39:13,053 --> 00:39:14,890 I'm a big believer in compersion. 812 00:39:16,894 --> 00:39:19,065 Oh, my God! I love you. 813 00:39:19,098 --> 00:39:21,369 I love you too! 814 00:39:22,739 --> 00:39:25,444 So, what do we think? 815 00:39:25,478 --> 00:39:27,048 - Wow! - Cute! 816 00:39:27,081 --> 00:39:28,584 It looks cute on you. 817 00:39:28,618 --> 00:39:29,753 -Oooh! -It's cute. 818 00:39:29,787 --> 00:39:31,221 Thank you. 819 00:39:31,255 --> 00:39:33,761 Frances certainly doesn't see you as useless. 820 00:39:33,795 --> 00:39:38,036 I thought you didn't want Frances to move over here. 821 00:39:38,070 --> 00:39:40,475 Well, it's not up to me to tell them what to do. 822 00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:41,777 I want to support Frances. 823 00:39:41,811 --> 00:39:43,046 Well, so do I. 824 00:39:46,086 --> 00:39:48,123 Ah! 825 00:39:51,429 --> 00:39:52,733 Hey, where are you? 826 00:39:52,766 --> 00:39:54,703 I'm standing in the hallway. 827 00:39:54,737 --> 00:39:56,072 OK. 828 00:39:56,106 --> 00:39:58,711 Um, can I go out with Isa? 829 00:39:58,745 --> 00:40:00,782 She's a friend of Richard, she's 19 830 00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:02,953 and she likes that I know about compersion. 831 00:40:02,986 --> 00:40:05,289 - What's compersion? - Compersion. 832 00:40:05,323 --> 00:40:07,027 It's taking pleasure in 833 00:40:07,061 --> 00:40:09,297 witnessing someone else's pleasure 834 00:40:09,331 --> 00:40:11,236 but not related to you. 835 00:40:11,268 --> 00:40:13,339 It's a polyamory thing. 836 00:40:13,373 --> 00:40:14,643 OK. 837 00:40:14,676 --> 00:40:17,414 'OK' I can go out with Isa, 'OK'? 838 00:40:17,448 --> 00:40:18,918 She's 19. 839 00:40:18,951 --> 00:40:20,187 Well, does Richard have 840 00:40:20,220 --> 00:40:21,891 this 19-year-old Isa's phone number? 841 00:40:21,924 --> 00:40:23,292 I got her number. 842 00:40:23,325 --> 00:40:25,799 -She's spunky, Hannah. -Spunky? Ugh. 843 00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,302 Have fun, Frances, 844 00:40:28,335 --> 00:40:30,475 and don't come back till you've got a story to tell. 845 00:40:30,508 --> 00:40:32,343 Thank you, Jimpa. 846 00:40:34,783 --> 00:40:36,152 She's hot. 847 00:40:37,388 --> 00:40:38,724 And smart. 848 00:40:39,893 --> 00:40:41,564 And very nice. 849 00:40:43,768 --> 00:40:45,237 You set this up. 850 00:40:45,270 --> 00:40:47,107 Frances is 16! 851 00:40:47,141 --> 00:40:49,078 I remember you at 16. 852 00:40:49,111 --> 00:40:50,582 Yeah, but you do realise 853 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:51,884 Frances has no experience whatsoever? 854 00:40:51,917 --> 00:40:53,385 Really? 855 00:40:53,420 --> 00:40:55,424 Yeah, it's like they know the lyrics to the song 856 00:40:55,458 --> 00:40:56,927 but they've never sung it out loud. 857 00:40:57,963 --> 00:41:00,000 You don't know if you can sing 858 00:41:00,033 --> 00:41:01,804 until you sing. 859 00:41:02,973 --> 00:41:04,342 Hmm. 860 00:41:05,310 --> 00:41:07,181 Are you ready to see Amsterdam? 861 00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:08,985 Yeah! 862 00:41:14,730 --> 00:41:18,136 Here you can go... I think it's open 24 hours, so... 863 00:41:18,169 --> 00:41:20,040 ♪ Young hearts ♪ 864 00:41:20,073 --> 00:41:21,877 ♪ Run free ♪ 865 00:41:21,911 --> 00:41:24,248 ♪ Never be hung up ♪ 866 00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:28,491 ♪ Hung up like My man and me... ♪ 867 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,530 You don't sing? 868 00:41:31,563 --> 00:41:33,199 Oh, no, I love to sing. 869 00:41:33,233 --> 00:41:34,803 You're cute. 870 00:41:34,836 --> 00:41:36,306 ♪ Ooh, young hearts... ♪ 871 00:41:36,339 --> 00:41:37,976 To the lesbian bar! 872 00:41:38,009 --> 00:41:39,479 Yes, let's go! 873 00:41:41,182 --> 00:41:42,919 I'm definitely not a woman, 874 00:41:42,953 --> 00:41:44,556 but I'm still into women. 875 00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:46,259 Is it OK that I'm here? 876 00:41:48,330 --> 00:41:50,200 -Roosje. -Mmm? 877 00:41:50,233 --> 00:41:51,402 This is Frances. 878 00:41:51,436 --> 00:41:53,273 They're non-binary. Are they welcome here? 879 00:41:53,306 --> 00:41:55,310 -Oh, fuck, yes. -Yes. 880 00:41:55,344 --> 00:41:57,281 - Cheers! - Ah, ja, ja, ja. 881 00:41:57,314 --> 00:41:59,486 She knows her shit. 882 00:42:01,824 --> 00:42:05,330 So you and Bis are... something? 883 00:42:07,101 --> 00:42:09,372 We've been together since high school. 884 00:42:11,477 --> 00:42:13,346 Since before he transitioned. 885 00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:16,119 And I like his new, uh, qualities. 886 00:42:16,152 --> 00:42:17,321 His more masc energy. 887 00:42:17,354 --> 00:42:19,793 What? 888 00:42:20,995 --> 00:42:22,264 And... and you two are... 889 00:42:22,297 --> 00:42:23,701 are monogamous or... 890 00:42:28,076 --> 00:42:29,780 That's what's great about being queer, right? 891 00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:31,650 How we state things - 892 00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:33,587 by what our boundaries are, 893 00:42:33,621 --> 00:42:35,023 by what we want. 894 00:42:36,092 --> 00:42:37,361 Yeah. 895 00:42:37,394 --> 00:42:39,566 I want you, Isa. 896 00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:41,002 Exactly. 897 00:42:42,472 --> 00:42:43,741 For example. 898 00:42:45,143 --> 00:42:46,279 Exactly. 899 00:42:46,312 --> 00:42:47,816 Right. 900 00:42:53,461 --> 00:42:55,330 You're still cleaning up! 901 00:42:55,363 --> 00:42:57,536 You're still cleaning up too. 902 00:43:07,989 --> 00:43:10,260 You didn't want to go out with the others? 903 00:43:11,329 --> 00:43:12,566 Not really. 904 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:13,968 You? 905 00:43:15,103 --> 00:43:16,105 No. 906 00:43:16,139 --> 00:43:18,076 Well, 907 00:43:18,109 --> 00:43:20,815 if you're gonna stay up like an anxious mother... 908 00:43:22,050 --> 00:43:23,319 . ..you can have another drink. 909 00:43:24,557 --> 00:43:26,192 'Anxious mother' sounds old. 910 00:43:26,225 --> 00:43:27,795 Not old. 911 00:43:27,829 --> 00:43:29,198 Older. 912 00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,937 Aren't you, like, 10 years older than me? 913 00:43:31,970 --> 00:43:33,406 -12. -Nothing! 914 00:43:55,718 --> 00:43:57,555 No lovers waiting for you, then? 915 00:44:01,429 --> 00:44:03,366 Just a few boys here and there. 916 00:44:22,839 --> 00:44:24,509 How about you sing me a song? 917 00:44:28,718 --> 00:44:29,986 What? 918 00:44:31,155 --> 00:44:32,291 Come on! 919 00:44:34,764 --> 00:44:35,831 Please. 920 00:44:43,881 --> 00:44:46,887 ♪ I wanna see you ♪ 921 00:44:49,224 --> 00:44:52,130 ♪ Dressed all in white... ♪ 922 00:44:54,401 --> 00:44:57,942 ♪ You're the queen Of my living room ♪ 923 00:44:57,975 --> 00:45:01,516 ♪ Sit by the window and smoke ♪ 924 00:45:01,550 --> 00:45:04,421 ♪ Like you're saving a life ♪ 925 00:45:06,661 --> 00:45:09,834 ♪ And I wanna dance ♪ 926 00:45:12,137 --> 00:45:15,210 ♪ Your hands on mine ♪ 927 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:21,322 ♪ I'm the queen of This crowded room ♪ 928 00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:24,596 ♪ Wanna be next to you ♪ 929 00:45:24,629 --> 00:45:28,772 ♪ Tell me one drink at a time ♪ 930 00:45:31,342 --> 00:45:34,949 ♪ And it's all my fault ♪ 931 00:45:34,983 --> 00:45:37,254 ♪ I know ♪ 932 00:45:37,287 --> 00:45:40,326 ♪ I wanna be yours ♪ 933 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,032 ♪ For sure ♪ 934 00:45:43,065 --> 00:45:45,971 ♪ I'm trying my best ♪ 935 00:45:46,005 --> 00:45:48,845 ♪ For you ♪ 936 00:45:49,946 --> 00:45:51,248 ♪ For you ♪ 937 00:45:53,987 --> 00:45:57,093 ♪ And I wanna be good... ♪ 938 00:45:58,664 --> 00:46:02,003 ♪ But it's gonna take time ♪ 939 00:46:04,944 --> 00:46:07,916 ♪ So steal all my cigarettes ♪ 940 00:46:07,950 --> 00:46:11,388 ♪ Tell me that I'm the best ♪ 941 00:46:11,422 --> 00:46:14,428 ♪ Everything's Gonna be fine... ♪ 942 00:46:15,932 --> 00:46:18,872 What do you know about compersion? 943 00:46:24,314 --> 00:46:26,486 It's the opposite to jealousy. 944 00:46:27,856 --> 00:46:29,827 It's a polyamory thing. 945 00:46:31,630 --> 00:46:33,366 How do you know about it? 946 00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,044 It's just wanting someone you love 947 00:46:39,077 --> 00:46:40,849 to be happy and fulfilled. 948 00:46:42,485 --> 00:46:44,087 It's a nice idea. 949 00:46:52,738 --> 00:46:56,111 ♪ And it's all my fault ♪ 950 00:46:56,145 --> 00:46:58,818 ♪ I know ♪ 951 00:46:58,851 --> 00:47:02,758 ♪ I wanna be yours... ♪ 952 00:47:02,793 --> 00:47:05,832 ♪ For sure ♪ 953 00:47:05,865 --> 00:47:09,237 ♪ I'm trying my best ♪ 954 00:47:09,271 --> 00:47:12,277 ♪ For you ♪ 955 00:47:13,412 --> 00:47:17,320 ♪ For you ♪ 956 00:47:20,226 --> 00:47:22,163 Were you pretending to sleep? 957 00:47:23,835 --> 00:47:26,039 No, I think I was trying to sleep. 958 00:47:28,510 --> 00:47:29,813 Did you have fun? 959 00:47:32,384 --> 00:47:34,489 -I had the best time, Mum. -Oh! 960 00:47:34,522 --> 00:47:36,861 Yay, I'm so glad. 961 00:47:38,030 --> 00:47:39,532 So you liked Isa? 962 00:47:40,768 --> 00:47:42,370 I'm in love. 963 00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:48,851 Guys. 964 00:47:48,885 --> 00:47:50,587 But I'm in love, Dad. 965 00:47:50,621 --> 00:47:52,591 - Yeah, great. - Oh! 966 00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:56,099 Oh, don't! 967 00:48:02,678 --> 00:48:03,981 - There you go. - Thank you. 968 00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:05,184 Tell us about your film. 969 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,820 Thank you, Matti. Hot, I hope. 970 00:48:06,854 --> 00:48:09,025 It's impossible for it to be any hotter, Jim. 971 00:48:09,058 --> 00:48:10,694 Yes, you haven't told us about your film yet. 972 00:48:10,728 --> 00:48:12,430 I'm just trying to cast it right now. 973 00:48:12,465 --> 00:48:15,303 Why don't you just put your mouth under the machine, Jim? 974 00:48:15,336 --> 00:48:17,273 Your film? 975 00:48:17,307 --> 00:48:19,880 Hannah hasn't told me a thing about it. She's avoiding it. 976 00:48:19,913 --> 00:48:20,915 Why? 977 00:48:20,949 --> 00:48:22,752 So she's bisexual? 978 00:48:22,785 --> 00:48:23,855 Who? 979 00:48:23,888 --> 00:48:25,124 Isa, the student. 980 00:48:25,157 --> 00:48:27,762 There's no such thing as bisexuality. 981 00:48:27,795 --> 00:48:30,333 - Oh! - OK, maybe tone it down a bit. 982 00:48:30,366 --> 00:48:31,836 Tone what down? 983 00:48:31,871 --> 00:48:34,075 What? I'm just trying to talk about these things openly. 984 00:48:34,108 --> 00:48:35,711 Are you sure you talking openly 985 00:48:35,744 --> 00:48:38,083 isn't just you wanting to express your opinion? 986 00:48:38,116 --> 00:48:40,087 So, what is a conversation 987 00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,756 except a collision of opinions? 988 00:48:41,790 --> 00:48:44,897 Uh, a conversation can also be working towards agreement. 989 00:48:44,930 --> 00:48:46,866 Says the only straight person at the table. 990 00:48:47,969 --> 00:48:49,605 Yeah, but, you know, it's more complex 991 00:48:49,639 --> 00:48:51,242 than you are making it out to be 992 00:48:51,276 --> 00:48:53,280 because you have actually been in love with women. 993 00:48:54,314 --> 00:48:55,952 My mother, for instance. 994 00:48:55,985 --> 00:48:57,288 Is... 995 00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,058 Is that what your film is about? 996 00:48:59,091 --> 00:49:01,196 About what? 997 00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:03,166 Me and your mother? 998 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,302 Not exactly. 999 00:49:08,777 --> 00:49:12,084 If you say you're bi, you're just confused. 1000 00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:14,121 If you're attracted to the same sex, you're gay. 1001 00:49:14,155 --> 00:49:15,423 It's as simple as that. 1002 00:49:15,457 --> 00:49:17,294 If you say otherwise, you're in denial. 1003 00:49:17,328 --> 00:49:19,967 - Here we go. - I never said Isa was bi. 1004 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,137 You know how many men have said to me 1005 00:49:22,171 --> 00:49:24,642 that they're straight while sucking my cock? 1006 00:49:24,675 --> 00:49:27,514 You can't be straight with a dash of gayness. 1007 00:49:27,548 --> 00:49:29,452 He's just being provocative for the sake of it. 1008 00:49:29,485 --> 00:49:30,487 - Mmm. - Ignore him. 1009 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,024 No, I once heard someone say 1010 00:49:32,057 --> 00:49:33,727 that they're 'mostly straight'. 1011 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,530 Now, what the hell does that mean? 1012 00:49:35,564 --> 00:49:37,201 They're just cowards. 1013 00:49:37,234 --> 00:49:40,474 So, Isa's a lesbian. What's wrong with that? 1014 00:49:40,507 --> 00:49:41,609 Well, it's not useful... 1015 00:49:41,643 --> 00:49:42,946 "Not useful"? 1016 00:49:42,979 --> 00:49:45,350 Dad, maybe just let Frances speak. 1017 00:49:46,352 --> 00:49:47,588 Well, you know... 1018 00:49:47,621 --> 00:49:49,191 Are you worried that Frances has had sex 1019 00:49:49,225 --> 00:49:51,362 with a 19-year-old lesbian? 1020 00:49:51,396 --> 00:49:53,566 -Uh, I haven't had sex. -I'm not worried. 1021 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,470 And don't put words in my mouth. 1022 00:49:55,504 --> 00:49:56,974 I'm not. 1023 00:49:58,610 --> 00:50:00,747 It's fine if that's what they want. 1024 00:50:00,781 --> 00:50:03,420 And by 'they', do you mean plural or singular? 1025 00:50:03,453 --> 00:50:06,426 Because only one of them is a consenting adult, 1026 00:50:06,459 --> 00:50:09,398 so only one of they is able to consent. 1027 00:50:09,432 --> 00:50:11,369 And I think that's the lesbian. 1028 00:50:11,402 --> 00:50:14,141 It's not my place to tell Frances what to do. 1029 00:50:14,175 --> 00:50:15,410 Well, that's nonsense. 1030 00:50:15,444 --> 00:50:17,348 I tell you what to do all the time 1031 00:50:17,381 --> 00:50:19,819 and whether or not you wanna do it is up to you. 1032 00:50:19,852 --> 00:50:21,689 So, about this lesbian. 1033 00:50:21,723 --> 00:50:23,360 She's not a lesbian. She's queer. 1034 00:50:23,393 --> 00:50:25,697 Shhh! 1035 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:28,336 -See? There's that word again. -What, queer? 1036 00:50:28,370 --> 00:50:30,507 -Queer. -Here we go. 1037 00:50:30,540 --> 00:50:32,044 This is the exact same conversation 1038 00:50:32,077 --> 00:50:34,015 we've been having for the past 30 years. 1039 00:50:36,487 --> 00:50:38,723 Dear, you might be queer. 1040 00:50:38,757 --> 00:50:40,293 - But I'm gay. - Yes. 1041 00:50:40,327 --> 00:50:43,633 And I've spent my whole life fighting for it 1042 00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:47,941 as... as a visible, gay, HIV-positive man. 1043 00:50:47,975 --> 00:50:49,712 Because someone had to. 1044 00:50:49,745 --> 00:50:51,949 -We all have. -Yeah, we all have. 1045 00:50:51,983 --> 00:50:53,553 - I understand that, but... - Yeah, that's true. 1046 00:50:53,586 --> 00:50:54,889 We haven't lived through that. 1047 00:50:54,922 --> 00:50:56,359 Mum. 1048 00:50:56,392 --> 00:50:58,063 I think what Dad's trying to say is... 1049 00:50:58,096 --> 00:50:59,832 No, no, what I'm trying to say is 1050 00:50:59,865 --> 00:51:01,369 if Frances wants to fuck 1051 00:51:01,402 --> 00:51:03,807 a hot 19-year-old who calls themselves 1052 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,646 Greenpeace Rainbow Warrior Princess, 1053 00:51:06,679 --> 00:51:07,815 they can do it, 1054 00:51:07,848 --> 00:51:09,718 but calling everyone bisexual 1055 00:51:09,752 --> 00:51:12,791 negates the rights that I have demanded and fought for. 1056 00:51:12,825 --> 00:51:14,628 Yes, it's like we had to fight 1057 00:51:14,662 --> 00:51:15,831 so hard for same-sex rights - 1058 00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:17,502 things Frances doesn't have to deal with. 1059 00:51:17,535 --> 00:51:20,073 But that's a good thing, isn't it? 1060 00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,285 Hey. 1061 00:51:27,254 --> 00:51:28,890 Hey! 1062 00:51:28,923 --> 00:51:30,393 You know, walking out like that 1063 00:51:30,427 --> 00:51:32,631 could be seen as quite hostile. 1064 00:51:33,933 --> 00:51:36,439 Don't be too disappointed. They're all still hurting. 1065 00:51:36,473 --> 00:51:39,178 Oh, by 'they', do you mean singular or plural? 1066 00:51:39,211 --> 00:51:41,182 'Cause you're just being wilfully confusing. 1067 00:51:41,215 --> 00:51:42,619 I know. 1068 00:51:44,188 --> 00:51:45,323 Jimpa is... 1069 00:51:45,357 --> 00:51:46,392 He's so determined 1070 00:51:46,425 --> 00:51:48,129 to say that Isa has to be a lesbian. 1071 00:51:48,163 --> 00:51:51,001 But for him, 'lesbian' means attracted to women, right? 1072 00:51:51,034 --> 00:51:53,038 And I'm not a woman, Mum. 1073 00:51:53,072 --> 00:51:54,909 Then why didn't you point that out to Jimpa? 1074 00:51:54,942 --> 00:51:56,712 Do you know how much easier it is 1075 00:51:56,746 --> 00:51:58,416 for you to do it than for me? 1076 00:51:58,450 --> 00:51:59,919 Do what? 1077 00:52:01,456 --> 00:52:03,359 To stand up for me. 1078 00:52:04,361 --> 00:52:06,332 You don't think I stand up for you? 1079 00:52:08,001 --> 00:52:10,173 Well, this is what he's like. 1080 00:52:10,207 --> 00:52:11,842 How are you gonna do this when I'm not here? 1081 00:52:16,352 --> 00:52:18,289 -It's Isa. -Go ahead, answer it. 1082 00:52:21,295 --> 00:52:22,565 Oh, hi there. 1083 00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:25,237 Where are you and what are you doing? 1084 00:52:26,473 --> 00:52:29,479 Oh, nowhere interesting. Doing nothing much. 1085 00:52:29,512 --> 00:52:33,319 I doubt that, but I was wondering 1086 00:52:33,353 --> 00:52:35,390 if you wanted to go for a ride with me. 1087 00:52:36,627 --> 00:52:39,666 If you need to ask your mom or Jim, that's cool. 1088 00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:41,435 No, I don't need to do that. 1089 00:53:03,011 --> 00:53:05,015 Australians are afraid of the sun. 1090 00:53:12,864 --> 00:53:14,335 What's over there? 1091 00:53:16,205 --> 00:53:17,874 - There? - Mmm. 1092 00:53:18,876 --> 00:53:22,083 It's a big cruising spot. 24/7. 1093 00:53:22,116 --> 00:53:24,556 Oh, is that why you brought me here? 1094 00:53:24,589 --> 00:53:26,626 Do you want to go take a look? 1095 00:53:27,961 --> 00:53:29,298 Uh... 1096 00:53:34,006 --> 00:53:35,578 Did you wanna talk anything through? 1097 00:53:37,648 --> 00:53:39,786 I think I'm a bit sick of talking. 1098 00:53:39,819 --> 00:53:41,188 Is that ok? 1099 00:53:42,290 --> 00:53:43,359 Of course. 1100 00:53:56,453 --> 00:53:58,757 ♪ I wrote me a book ♪ 1101 00:53:58,791 --> 00:54:01,195 ♪ I hid the last page ♪ 1102 00:54:01,228 --> 00:54:03,534 ♪ I didn't even look ♪ 1103 00:54:03,567 --> 00:54:05,970 ♪ I think I locked it in a cage ♪ 1104 00:54:06,004 --> 00:54:07,708 ♪ Wrote a novel ♪ 1105 00:54:09,043 --> 00:54:13,151 ♪ 'Cause everybody Likes to read a novel ♪ 1106 00:54:16,493 --> 00:54:18,864 ♪ I ♪ 1107 00:54:18,897 --> 00:54:23,640 ♪ Found the last page in the Sky ♪ 1108 00:54:23,674 --> 00:54:27,515 ♪ Cold and sweet, like an apple ♪ 1109 00:54:27,548 --> 00:54:29,116 ♪ The end, the end ♪ 1110 00:54:29,150 --> 00:54:33,660 ♪ I found you and now The story has its proper end ♪ 1111 00:54:33,694 --> 00:54:36,398 ♪ The end, the end What then ♪ 1112 00:54:36,432 --> 00:54:38,134 ♪ Oh, hello ♪ 1113 00:54:38,168 --> 00:54:40,172 ♪ Will you be mine ♪ 1114 00:54:40,205 --> 00:54:43,614 ♪ I haven't felt this alive In a long time ♪ 1115 00:54:44,616 --> 00:54:47,955 ♪ All the streets are warm Today ♪ 1116 00:54:47,989 --> 00:54:50,995 ♪ Hey ♪ 1117 00:54:51,027 --> 00:54:53,231 ♪ I read the signs ♪ 1118 00:54:53,266 --> 00:54:57,307 ♪ I haven't been this in love In a long time ♪ 1119 00:54:57,340 --> 00:55:01,448 ♪ The sun is up, The sun will stay ♪ 1120 00:55:01,483 --> 00:55:05,055 ♪ All for the new day ♪ 1121 00:55:09,732 --> 00:55:12,202 ♪ The very last breath ♪ 1122 00:55:12,236 --> 00:55:14,240 ♪ Of the hero of our tale ♪ 1123 00:55:14,274 --> 00:55:17,047 ♪ Would leave you only to guess ♪ 1124 00:55:17,079 --> 00:55:21,456 ♪ Did he truly prevail In the sequel ♪ 1125 00:55:22,725 --> 00:55:26,230 ♪ I guess I'll have to Write a sequel ♪ 1126 00:55:42,565 --> 00:55:44,101 ♪ Oh, hello ♪ 1127 00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:45,537 ♪ Will you be mine ♪ 1128 00:55:46,539 --> 00:55:50,481 ♪ I haven't felt this alive In a long time ♪ 1129 00:55:50,514 --> 00:55:54,153 ♪ All the streets Are warm and grey ♪ 1130 00:55:54,186 --> 00:55:56,993 ♪ Hey ♪ 1131 00:55:57,027 --> 00:55:59,364 ♪ I read the signs ♪ 1132 00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:03,439 ♪ I haven't been this in love In a long time ♪ 1133 00:56:03,473 --> 00:56:07,279 ♪ The sun is up, The sun will stay ♪ 1134 00:56:07,312 --> 00:56:10,420 ♪ All for the new day ♪ 1135 00:56:10,454 --> 00:56:13,092 -♪ Will you be mine-♪ Will you be mine ♪ 1136 00:56:13,125 --> 00:56:17,000 ♪ The days are short And I wrote me my last rhyme ♪ 1137 00:56:17,033 --> 00:56:20,841 ♪ All the streets are warm Today ♪ 1138 00:56:20,874 --> 00:56:23,513 -♪ Hey-♪ Hey ♪ 1139 00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:26,051 ♪ I read the signs ♪ 1140 00:56:26,085 --> 00:56:30,594 ♪ I haven't been this in love ♪ 1141 00:56:30,627 --> 00:56:36,304 ♪ In a long time ♪ 1142 00:56:40,781 --> 00:56:46,024 ♪ It's been a long time ♪ 1143 00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,017 No, I tried that. 1144 00:56:59,050 --> 00:57:00,487 It's not working. 1145 00:57:00,521 --> 00:57:01,890 It says I have two more attempts 1146 00:57:01,923 --> 00:57:03,225 before it locks me out. 1147 00:57:18,354 --> 00:57:20,226 My grand-thing 1148 00:57:20,259 --> 00:57:22,397 has done a grand thing. 1149 00:57:24,434 --> 00:57:25,871 Let's celebrate. 1150 00:57:34,087 --> 00:57:35,256 Hmm? 1151 00:57:40,667 --> 00:57:42,337 Are you gonna tell Hannah? 1152 00:57:43,339 --> 00:57:44,709 You don't think I should? 1153 00:57:48,650 --> 00:57:51,823 I think sex is simpler for her. 1154 00:57:51,856 --> 00:57:52,958 Mmm. 1155 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,731 I feel sorry for straight women. 1156 00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:57,200 Having to lie there, 1157 00:57:57,233 --> 00:57:59,639 people assuming you just want to be fucked. 1158 00:57:59,672 --> 00:58:01,576 No-one talks about it. 1159 00:58:01,609 --> 00:58:04,314 They just do what's expected. 1160 00:58:06,184 --> 00:58:07,955 The benefits of who we are 1161 00:58:07,988 --> 00:58:11,863 is you can't assume anything about anyone. 1162 00:58:11,896 --> 00:58:14,301 You always have to ask for what they want. 1163 00:58:14,334 --> 00:58:16,639 State what you want. 1164 00:58:16,673 --> 00:58:18,576 Consent's sexy. 1165 00:58:18,610 --> 00:58:20,279 Understanding what someone wants. 1166 00:58:21,516 --> 00:58:23,152 Sure, as long as it's not like 1167 00:58:23,185 --> 00:58:25,189 instructions for a washing machine. 1168 00:58:35,042 --> 00:58:38,048 Has Mum talked to you about me staying in Amsterdam? 1169 00:58:39,485 --> 00:58:41,021 Your parents love you. 1170 00:58:41,054 --> 00:58:43,025 You're very supported by them. 1171 00:58:44,327 --> 00:58:45,464 And? 1172 00:58:45,497 --> 00:58:48,068 And it sounds like schools in Australia 1173 00:58:48,102 --> 00:58:49,437 are much better now. 1174 00:58:51,809 --> 00:58:53,345 School's fine. 1175 00:58:53,379 --> 00:58:55,984 It's not like I'm... I'm getting beaten up or anything. 1176 00:58:57,220 --> 00:59:01,194 I'm not scared exactly, just not... 1177 00:59:03,098 --> 00:59:04,367 . ..connecting. 1178 00:59:05,804 --> 00:59:08,543 I'm tired of the feeling that I'm somehow 1179 00:59:08,576 --> 00:59:10,614 rubbing my queerness in everyone's face. 1180 00:59:10,647 --> 00:59:11,883 Hmm. 1181 00:59:14,922 --> 00:59:16,592 That might never stop. 1182 00:59:18,195 --> 00:59:21,101 But it will never stop us. 1183 00:59:23,439 --> 00:59:29,217 You're the president of an LGBT club at school. 1184 00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:31,689 So it... it can't be so bad. 1185 00:59:34,327 --> 00:59:37,066 Maybe you don't need to leave your family just yet. 1186 00:59:39,472 --> 00:59:41,642 But you had to leave your family. 1187 00:59:41,676 --> 00:59:43,713 No, I didn't have to. 1188 00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:45,149 I wanted to. 1189 00:59:45,182 --> 00:59:46,418 What do you mean? 1190 00:59:47,589 --> 00:59:50,426 Katherine offered to move with me with the children. 1191 00:59:51,496 --> 00:59:54,000 I decided to come to Amsterdam on my own. 1192 00:59:55,804 --> 00:59:57,741 Does Mum know this? 1193 00:59:57,774 --> 00:59:59,244 I'm not sure. 1194 00:59:59,277 --> 01:00:00,714 What does your grandma say? 1195 01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:04,623 That she thought it best that they stayed in Adelaide. 1196 01:00:04,655 --> 01:00:07,661 For Hannah's sake. She was only 13. 1197 01:00:07,694 --> 01:00:09,397 That's a lie. 1198 01:00:09,430 --> 01:00:12,471 Most of the people who left home, 1199 01:00:12,504 --> 01:00:14,875 their families and came here, 1200 01:00:14,909 --> 01:00:16,746 they did so because they had to. 1201 01:00:16,779 --> 01:00:18,081 Mmm. 1202 01:00:18,115 --> 01:00:21,154 It was a matter of survival, of having a future. 1203 01:00:21,188 --> 01:00:22,758 But not me. 1204 01:00:24,127 --> 01:00:26,031 I was purely selfish. 1205 01:00:30,507 --> 01:00:31,709 Go on. 1206 01:00:32,878 --> 01:00:34,314 It'll do you good. 1207 01:00:38,723 --> 01:00:42,296 Did you... connect with Isa? 1208 01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,806 Did you understand what Isa wanted? 1209 01:00:49,310 --> 01:00:50,880 Not at all. 1210 01:00:50,914 --> 01:00:52,784 I forgot to ask. 1211 01:00:57,059 --> 01:01:00,165 Nothing fit into my idea of things. 1212 01:01:00,199 --> 01:01:02,504 I don't even know what I liked. 1213 01:01:04,207 --> 01:01:06,344 I just thought things would be clearer. 1214 01:01:27,521 --> 01:01:29,023 Hello? 1215 01:01:29,057 --> 01:01:30,359 Oh, hi. 1216 01:01:30,392 --> 01:01:32,396 Nice to meet you, Tilda. 1217 01:01:32,430 --> 01:01:35,904 I don't want to play her as too passive. 1218 01:01:35,937 --> 01:01:38,744 But she does seem to sacrifice her needs and wants 1219 01:01:38,777 --> 01:01:40,212 for the sake of her husband. 1220 01:01:40,245 --> 01:01:41,683 Mmm. 1221 01:01:41,717 --> 01:01:43,285 Yeah, you could say that. 1222 01:01:43,318 --> 01:01:44,656 Because even though he's gay, 1223 01:01:44,689 --> 01:01:45,825 I mean, it's still the man 1224 01:01:45,857 --> 01:01:47,293 who gets to go and explore himself 1225 01:01:47,326 --> 01:01:48,697 while the woman stays at home. 1226 01:01:48,731 --> 01:01:50,633 Yeah, you could say that too. 1227 01:01:50,668 --> 01:01:52,303 I mean, and it's still the man that, 1228 01:01:52,336 --> 01:01:55,142 you know, doesn't actively look after his children. 1229 01:01:55,175 --> 01:01:56,879 Which is... I mean, that's probably 1230 01:01:56,912 --> 01:01:58,215 the reality for many. 1231 01:01:58,248 --> 01:02:00,688 Right? I mean, especially in that time. 1232 01:02:00,721 --> 01:02:03,191 I just thought that might not be how you want to... 1233 01:02:03,225 --> 01:02:05,429 ...portray him. 1234 01:02:05,463 --> 01:02:07,333 Or her. 1235 01:02:07,366 --> 01:02:09,605 All... all those, uh, thoughts 1236 01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:11,575 are really interesting, um... 1237 01:02:16,986 --> 01:02:19,223 -Was that about your film? -Yes. 1238 01:02:21,629 --> 01:02:23,098 Have you made up with Frances? 1239 01:02:23,131 --> 01:02:25,537 I didn't think I needed to. 1240 01:02:26,605 --> 01:02:28,976 You do know it's actually OK 1241 01:02:29,010 --> 01:02:32,049 to disagree and say hurtful things to someone? 1242 01:02:33,018 --> 01:02:34,588 You didn't have to push so hard. 1243 01:02:35,791 --> 01:02:38,128 Is this about the fact that Frances had sex? 1244 01:02:40,667 --> 01:02:42,269 Oh. You didn't know. 1245 01:02:42,303 --> 01:02:43,941 How could I know? 1246 01:02:43,973 --> 01:02:48,114 I'm sure Frances will tell you all the details in no time. 1247 01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:50,520 Don't worry. 1248 01:02:51,790 --> 01:02:54,427 They've got more of a head start than I ever had. 1249 01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:58,703 When I was Frances's age, 1250 01:02:58,737 --> 01:03:01,810 I didn't even have the word to describe the way I... 1251 01:03:04,313 --> 01:03:05,784 I know, Dad. 1252 01:03:07,419 --> 01:03:10,325 But Frances has all the words. 1253 01:03:11,763 --> 01:03:14,433 Frances will be fine. 1254 01:03:14,468 --> 01:03:16,572 They can... 1255 01:03:16,605 --> 01:03:19,210 . ..idolise me from afar. 1256 01:03:19,243 --> 01:03:20,881 That's just the way I like it. 1257 01:03:23,754 --> 01:03:25,891 So you're still going for the Helsinki job? 1258 01:03:25,925 --> 01:03:28,029 Oh, you don't think I should? 1259 01:03:29,531 --> 01:03:30,768 What are we cooking? 1260 01:03:30,801 --> 01:03:32,537 My osso buco. 1261 01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,011 I might make something for us. 1262 01:03:38,917 --> 01:03:40,921 Oh, fuck! 1263 01:03:40,955 --> 01:03:42,691 -Let me see. -No, no. 1264 01:03:42,724 --> 01:03:44,661 I'm fine. Fuck. 1265 01:03:44,695 --> 01:03:46,331 Is it deep? Does it need stitches? 1266 01:03:46,364 --> 01:03:48,268 -No, no, I'm fine. -Dad? 1267 01:03:48,301 --> 01:03:50,640 I don't need a fucking hospital! Oh! 1268 01:03:50,673 --> 01:03:52,242 Easy. 1269 01:03:52,276 --> 01:03:54,916 Just lean here. 1270 01:03:56,384 --> 01:03:57,721 Hold it. 1271 01:04:04,001 --> 01:04:05,268 Hmm. 1272 01:04:05,302 --> 01:04:07,339 Tell me about your film. 1273 01:04:08,844 --> 01:04:10,113 Uh... 1274 01:04:10,145 --> 01:04:12,751 It's about a couple. 1275 01:04:12,784 --> 01:04:15,723 It's about commitment 1276 01:04:15,757 --> 01:04:18,696 and our contradictory feelings about it. 1277 01:04:18,729 --> 01:04:21,669 Well, my feelings about it. And, um... 1278 01:04:24,041 --> 01:04:25,978 . ..I don't think people are getting it. 1279 01:04:27,312 --> 01:04:28,482 Hmm. 1280 01:04:29,986 --> 01:04:31,923 Do you remember Stephen? 1281 01:04:35,362 --> 01:04:37,299 Oh, I loved him so much. 1282 01:04:38,536 --> 01:04:40,205 So did Frances. 1283 01:04:40,238 --> 01:04:42,177 Yeah. So did I. 1284 01:04:43,579 --> 01:04:46,384 But he was a fervent monogamist, poor thing. 1285 01:04:46,417 --> 01:04:48,288 Didn't you tell him what you wanted? 1286 01:04:48,321 --> 01:04:50,358 Yes, and he agreed. 1287 01:04:51,427 --> 01:04:52,932 At first. 1288 01:04:52,965 --> 01:04:54,835 Until he didn't. 1289 01:04:54,869 --> 01:04:56,739 And you didn't change. 1290 01:04:56,772 --> 01:04:58,843 I don't believe in monogamy, dearest. 1291 01:05:01,247 --> 01:05:02,851 Oh, he was so lovely. 1292 01:05:05,288 --> 01:05:07,326 You don't believe in monogamy either. 1293 01:05:10,332 --> 01:05:12,336 But I also know how great it can be. 1294 01:05:13,338 --> 01:05:15,510 Constancy. Loyalty. 1295 01:05:15,543 --> 01:05:18,549 Sounds like you're talking about a dog. Hmm! 1296 01:05:18,582 --> 01:05:20,753 How is the dog anyway? 1297 01:05:20,787 --> 01:05:23,291 Oh! I need to call Mum. 1298 01:05:29,070 --> 01:05:30,840 I'm not very open. 1299 01:05:31,842 --> 01:05:35,016 No. I guess not. 1300 01:05:46,437 --> 01:05:47,774 Are you awake? 1301 01:05:53,619 --> 01:05:55,189 Are you not hungry? 1302 01:05:56,758 --> 01:05:58,394 I was thinking you should stay here 1303 01:05:58,428 --> 01:05:59,698 while I go to London. 1304 01:06:01,335 --> 01:06:02,470 Why? 1305 01:06:02,503 --> 01:06:03,706 I don't know, just... 1306 01:06:03,739 --> 01:06:05,877 . ..gives you the chance to soak up Amsterdam. 1307 01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,152 Sounds like you had a really good time with Isa. 1308 01:06:12,223 --> 01:06:14,127 I was... I was going to tell you. 1309 01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:16,798 It's OK, Frances. It's fine. 1310 01:06:19,304 --> 01:06:20,941 OK. 1311 01:06:25,149 --> 01:06:27,220 I'm excited for you. It's a big thing. 1312 01:06:50,933 --> 01:06:52,770 Jim Hill in Helsinki. 1313 01:06:52,804 --> 01:06:54,774 Jani! How are you? 1314 01:06:55,978 --> 01:06:57,847 You... you got the study I sent you? 1315 01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,119 Yeah, yeah, of course. Fascinating stuff. 1316 01:07:00,152 --> 01:07:02,857 Nothing gets my heart racing like social housing theory. 1317 01:07:02,890 --> 01:07:04,127 I mean it, Jim. 1318 01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:06,031 -It's good to see you. -You too. 1319 01:07:11,908 --> 01:07:14,914 So this is still a huge focus for me. 1320 01:07:14,948 --> 01:07:19,124 Building scientific capacities for community groups. 1321 01:07:19,157 --> 01:07:21,661 I remember you raised this even all the way back 1322 01:07:21,695 --> 01:07:25,470 at the CDC symposium at AIDS 2018. 1323 01:07:25,504 --> 01:07:28,308 It was in my plenary talk, the one I gave at the IAS. 1324 01:07:28,342 --> 01:07:29,611 2019. 1325 01:07:29,644 --> 01:07:31,281 We can't keep up. 1326 01:07:31,314 --> 01:07:33,285 Oh. You were there, Karolina. 1327 01:07:33,318 --> 01:07:36,358 I was, I was, but I still couldn't keep up! 1328 01:07:40,733 --> 01:07:41,802 So... 1329 01:07:42,970 --> 01:07:44,741 . ..is this an area that you'd like 1330 01:07:44,774 --> 01:07:46,845 someone in this new position to focus on? 1331 01:07:49,452 --> 01:07:51,221 We were very excited 1332 01:07:51,254 --> 01:07:53,158 when you called to say you'd be in town 1333 01:07:53,192 --> 01:07:55,464 and wanted to talk about the position. 1334 01:07:55,497 --> 01:07:58,102 It's such an honour, personally speaking. 1335 01:07:58,135 --> 01:08:00,507 Of course we jumped on the opportunity to meet up. 1336 01:08:00,540 --> 01:08:03,010 We would be honored to access someone 1337 01:08:03,045 --> 01:08:04,582 with your knowledge and experience. 1338 01:08:04,614 --> 01:08:05,883 Yes. 1339 01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:08,922 We were talking that maybe we can even 1340 01:08:08,956 --> 01:08:12,598 formalise something in an advisory capacity 1341 01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:17,106 or a board position, when they come up in three years. 1342 01:08:17,140 --> 01:08:19,377 Mmm. Yeah. 1343 01:08:22,383 --> 01:08:24,087 While you're here in Helsinki, 1344 01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,291 I was hoping to take you out for lunch or dinner. 1345 01:08:26,324 --> 01:08:29,029 And why would you want to do that? 1346 01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:32,504 Well, we were very impressed by Mirjam Oerlemans. 1347 01:08:32,538 --> 01:08:33,839 Mirjam? 1348 01:08:33,872 --> 01:08:37,514 She's young, but her advocacy for equality care 1349 01:08:37,548 --> 01:08:41,288 aligns really well with some of our new impact areas. 1350 01:08:41,321 --> 01:08:43,593 You've been a kind of mentor to her for years. 1351 01:08:43,626 --> 01:08:44,794 10 years. 1352 01:08:46,499 --> 01:08:48,636 And you're considering her for this new... 1353 01:08:48,670 --> 01:08:50,372 Hence my clumsy invite to dinner. 1354 01:08:52,243 --> 01:08:54,781 You want my opinion on Mirjam Oerlemans? 1355 01:08:54,814 --> 01:08:57,253 Well, you're her reference. 1356 01:08:58,255 --> 01:09:00,359 But we respect your opinion. 1357 01:09:00,392 --> 01:09:02,830 Your honesty especially, it's legendary. 1358 01:09:02,863 --> 01:09:05,001 I wish we could do dinner, but... 1359 01:09:05,034 --> 01:09:09,645 . ..I came without a bag, and I... I have work back home. 1360 01:09:10,980 --> 01:09:14,787 But you don't need dinner for me to tell you Mirjam... 1361 01:09:17,159 --> 01:09:18,962 . ..would be perfect. 1362 01:09:18,996 --> 01:09:21,669 She's pragmatic. Evidence-based. 1363 01:09:21,702 --> 01:09:24,807 Her success is focusing on young people 1364 01:09:24,841 --> 01:09:26,512 and marginalised groups. 1365 01:09:26,545 --> 01:09:28,982 Her stellar rights-based approach 1366 01:09:29,016 --> 01:09:31,921 has meant actual policy change, not just... 1367 01:09:45,316 --> 01:09:47,953 'Cause that is beautiful. OK? 1368 01:09:50,993 --> 01:09:52,698 Hello! 1369 01:09:55,470 --> 01:09:57,507 Hello! 1370 01:09:57,541 --> 01:09:59,042 Say your name. 1371 01:10:00,245 --> 01:10:01,615 -Why? -Hi, guys. 1372 01:10:01,649 --> 01:10:03,084 Just dropping the professor home. 1373 01:10:03,117 --> 01:10:05,121 You need to say your name, not just hello. 1374 01:10:05,155 --> 01:10:06,891 Otherwise, we don't know who you are 1375 01:10:06,925 --> 01:10:08,428 or what you want. 1376 01:10:08,463 --> 01:10:10,299 Who else would it be? 1377 01:10:14,307 --> 01:10:16,512 Uh, I think it's time for bed. 1378 01:10:16,545 --> 01:10:18,382 Well, how did it go? 1379 01:10:18,415 --> 01:10:21,354 -Oh, wet and miserable. -Hmm. 1380 01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:23,693 But really good. 1381 01:10:23,726 --> 01:10:25,362 Let me, uh... 1382 01:10:28,301 --> 01:10:30,473 It went really well. 1383 01:10:31,575 --> 01:10:33,278 They'd be lucky to have me. 1384 01:10:34,481 --> 01:10:37,152 It reminded me... Oh. 1385 01:10:38,321 --> 01:10:39,390 . ..of all the ideas... 1386 01:10:42,061 --> 01:10:44,200 Of the ideas i still have. 1387 01:10:44,233 --> 01:10:46,971 Of the energy I have. 1388 01:10:47,005 --> 01:10:48,442 Ahhh. 1389 01:10:52,551 --> 01:10:54,721 What... what time is it? 1390 01:10:54,755 --> 01:10:56,892 Let's get you to bed, Professor. 1391 01:11:04,741 --> 01:11:06,612 I think she could be interesting. 1392 01:11:06,645 --> 01:11:08,683 She had some interesting ideas. 1393 01:11:11,153 --> 01:11:12,990 But at least she's invested. 1394 01:11:13,023 --> 01:11:14,159 One second. 1395 01:11:15,194 --> 01:11:16,397 Have fun. 1396 01:11:16,431 --> 01:11:18,536 I think it makes sense for you to stay here. 1397 01:11:18,569 --> 01:11:19,705 Mm-hm. 1398 01:11:19,738 --> 01:11:20,907 This was always gonna happen. 1399 01:11:20,940 --> 01:11:22,276 Don't make your mum feel guilty. 1400 01:11:22,309 --> 01:11:25,014 Yes, don't shame your mother for working, Frances. 1401 01:11:25,047 --> 01:11:26,183 I'm not. 1402 01:11:26,216 --> 01:11:28,220 You rather have a mother who stayed home 1403 01:11:28,255 --> 01:11:29,491 and cooked biscuits for you? 1404 01:11:29,525 --> 01:11:30,827 You want that kind of a mother? 1405 01:11:30,860 --> 01:11:32,564 Yep. I should go. I need to go and get the train. 1406 01:11:32,597 --> 01:11:34,735 No, I don't want that kind of a mother. 1407 01:11:34,768 --> 01:11:35,737 Yeah. Good. 1408 01:11:35,770 --> 01:11:37,874 Oh! For fuck's sake! 1409 01:11:37,908 --> 01:11:40,211 Um, originally I had said Frances might come. 1410 01:11:40,244 --> 01:11:42,316 Tell your mother you'll be fine. 1411 01:11:42,349 --> 01:11:43,886 Or tell me nothing. 1412 01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:45,022 Hmm. 1413 01:11:46,156 --> 01:11:47,894 But I... I did want to tell you. 1414 01:11:47,928 --> 01:11:50,399 I just... I hadn't yet. 1415 01:11:50,432 --> 01:11:51,669 That's not what I meant. 1416 01:11:51,702 --> 01:11:53,573 It's fine. You didn't have to tell me. 1417 01:11:53,606 --> 01:11:54,775 OK? 1418 01:11:54,808 --> 01:11:57,145 OK? Of course it's OK. 1419 01:11:58,247 --> 01:11:59,451 Uh... 1420 01:12:00,653 --> 01:12:02,657 You don't want to stay in Amsterdam? 1421 01:12:03,659 --> 01:12:05,630 Do you want to come with me? 1422 01:12:10,907 --> 01:12:14,212 But Dad's fine. He's been to Finland for an interview. 1423 01:12:14,245 --> 01:12:16,183 You need to tell your father 1424 01:12:16,216 --> 01:12:18,689 that he's being ridiculous and selfish. 1425 01:12:18,723 --> 01:12:21,595 He doesn't need me to tell him those things. 1426 01:12:21,629 --> 01:12:24,433 Tell him he needs to retire with some fucking dignity. 1427 01:12:24,468 --> 01:12:26,104 We don't need to tell him anything. 1428 01:12:26,136 --> 01:12:27,741 He's feeling old, Mum. 1429 01:12:27,774 --> 01:12:30,647 Have you talked to him about your film yet? 1430 01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:32,450 Uh, kind of. 1431 01:12:32,484 --> 01:12:34,252 You're worried that he's not gonna give you 1432 01:12:34,285 --> 01:12:35,623 his divine blessing? 1433 01:12:35,657 --> 01:12:37,861 I just don't want to get into an argument. 1434 01:12:37,894 --> 01:12:39,295 Then he'll tell you 1435 01:12:39,330 --> 01:12:41,367 there are far more interesting parts in his life, 1436 01:12:41,401 --> 01:12:43,038 so be ready. 1437 01:12:43,071 --> 01:12:44,608 Maybe. 1438 01:12:52,991 --> 01:12:55,563 You never come visit anymore, Mirjam. 1439 01:12:55,596 --> 01:12:57,467 -You told me not to. -I never! 1440 01:12:57,500 --> 01:13:00,105 You did. 1441 01:13:00,138 --> 01:13:02,208 You did. 1442 01:13:06,350 --> 01:13:09,658 Thank you for the kind words you said about me. 1443 01:13:09,691 --> 01:13:11,127 I meant them. 1444 01:13:13,799 --> 01:13:15,937 You could have told me. 1445 01:13:15,970 --> 01:13:18,576 I didn't know you were going for the same job 1446 01:13:18,609 --> 01:13:19,811 until you announced it 1447 01:13:19,845 --> 01:13:21,782 in front of everyone at your party. 1448 01:13:21,815 --> 01:13:23,719 If you'd known earlier, 1449 01:13:23,753 --> 01:13:25,823 would you still have gone for the position? 1450 01:13:28,996 --> 01:13:30,297 If there is a job, 1451 01:13:30,331 --> 01:13:32,035 think of Richard, won't you? 1452 01:13:34,339 --> 01:13:35,843 Get him out of my hair. 1453 01:13:44,260 --> 01:13:45,963 Two hugs. 1454 01:13:45,997 --> 01:13:47,734 Aren't you lucky? 1455 01:14:11,080 --> 01:14:13,953 I can't believe I feel jealous. 1456 01:14:13,986 --> 01:14:15,957 It's OK, I understand. 1457 01:14:15,990 --> 01:14:17,861 It's not ok. 1458 01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:22,002 It's stupid. It's so fucking... 1459 01:14:22,035 --> 01:14:24,674 It's so fucking stupid. 1460 01:14:26,745 --> 01:14:28,515 Maybe things were just a bit fast. 1461 01:14:30,085 --> 01:14:31,220 My God. 1462 01:14:31,254 --> 01:14:33,592 It's so immature of me, isn't it? 1463 01:14:34,728 --> 01:14:36,965 Can we just go home? 1464 01:14:38,268 --> 01:14:39,604 We will. 1465 01:14:39,638 --> 01:14:42,577 Talk to Jimpa about your film and let's go home. 1466 01:14:42,610 --> 01:14:44,079 I will. 1467 01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,164 I don't think I want the job. 1468 01:14:54,133 --> 01:14:58,207 I think... I'll stay in Amsterdam. 1469 01:14:58,241 --> 01:15:00,546 I... I think Amsterdam could be 1470 01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:03,819 really great for you, Frances. 1471 01:15:03,852 --> 01:15:07,794 I'll stay here so you can live with me. 1472 01:15:07,827 --> 01:15:09,798 -Are you sure? -Of course. 1473 01:15:09,831 --> 01:15:14,139 It'll mean that you'll come visit more often as well. 1474 01:15:14,173 --> 01:15:15,609 Yeah. 1475 01:15:15,643 --> 01:15:17,179 What do you say, grand-thing? 1476 01:15:30,438 --> 01:15:32,610 - OK. - Good. 1477 01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:35,281 Is that what you want? 1478 01:15:37,052 --> 01:15:39,023 Yeah, I mean, sounds amazing, Jimpa. 1479 01:15:39,056 --> 01:15:41,160 Good. 1480 01:15:43,999 --> 01:15:45,569 Fuck me. 1481 01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:48,675 Your cunning plan 1482 01:15:48,709 --> 01:15:50,646 really didn't work out as expected, did it? 1483 01:16:31,427 --> 01:16:33,064 How old are you? 1484 01:16:34,233 --> 01:16:35,401 Old enough. 1485 01:16:35,435 --> 01:16:37,773 Hm. Just wanting to be safe, you know. 1486 01:16:37,807 --> 01:16:39,811 Always safe. 1487 01:16:39,844 --> 01:16:41,648 I once fucked an older guy, 1488 01:16:41,681 --> 01:16:43,986 then discovered he'd escaped from a nursing home. 1489 01:16:48,194 --> 01:16:50,733 The perils of being a daddy chaser. 1490 01:16:50,766 --> 01:16:52,002 Hmm! 1491 01:16:53,772 --> 01:16:55,577 So come on. 1492 01:16:55,610 --> 01:16:57,045 Chase me. 1493 01:17:04,861 --> 01:17:06,330 I did say I regretted Frances 1494 01:17:06,363 --> 01:17:07,733 not spending enough time with him. 1495 01:17:07,767 --> 01:17:08,802 Mmm. 1496 01:17:09,971 --> 01:17:11,541 It is a great city. 1497 01:17:23,565 --> 01:17:26,070 -Really good cafes. -Mmm. 1498 01:17:26,103 --> 01:17:27,573 Good schools too. 1499 01:17:36,223 --> 01:17:37,560 Hey, Richard. 1500 01:17:54,126 --> 01:17:56,564 Uh, I don't know what they've told you... 1501 01:17:57,768 --> 01:18:00,338 . ..but two days ago, you had a bad stroke. 1502 01:18:01,908 --> 01:18:04,346 So you've been in a coma to protect your brain. 1503 01:18:06,150 --> 01:18:08,522 And now they've taken you out of the coma 1504 01:18:08,555 --> 01:18:09,924 to see how you are. 1505 01:18:11,662 --> 01:18:14,500 And they told us that you can hear us now. Is that right? 1506 01:18:17,038 --> 01:18:18,810 Apparently you can squeeze my hand. 1507 01:18:21,648 --> 01:18:24,386 So if you can hear me, Dad, can you squeeze my hand? 1508 01:18:27,661 --> 01:18:29,329 OK. 1509 01:18:29,363 --> 01:18:32,636 So we'll do once for yes, two for no. 1510 01:18:34,039 --> 01:18:35,274 OK. 1511 01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:39,884 So are you OK? I mean, are you in any pain? 1512 01:18:44,527 --> 01:18:46,799 No? Good. OK. 1513 01:18:48,736 --> 01:18:50,572 And do you know who I am? 1514 01:18:50,606 --> 01:18:52,778 It's me, Hannah, your daughter. 1515 01:18:57,285 --> 01:18:58,823 And a filmmaker 1516 01:18:58,856 --> 01:19:00,559 and a woman and a mother. 1517 01:19:08,475 --> 01:19:11,079 And Frances is here as well, your grandchild. 1518 01:19:15,354 --> 01:19:16,624 Hi, Jimpa. 1519 01:19:30,954 --> 01:19:33,257 Don't worry, Dad, OK? I know what to do. 1520 01:19:34,226 --> 01:19:35,496 OK, I know. 1521 01:19:40,572 --> 01:19:42,108 Do you feel like you? 1522 01:19:44,714 --> 01:19:46,919 No, of course you don't. Stupid question. 1523 01:19:48,622 --> 01:19:50,157 Strange, you not talking. 1524 01:19:55,536 --> 01:19:57,105 Shall I tell you about yourself? 1525 01:20:00,012 --> 01:20:01,146 OK. 1526 01:20:01,179 --> 01:20:04,687 You were born in 1951. 1527 01:20:05,689 --> 01:20:07,894 Your parents were Mary and Bill. 1528 01:20:09,262 --> 01:20:11,233 You don't believe in monogamy. 1529 01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,906 Uh, you've had many lovers. 1530 01:20:15,174 --> 01:20:16,912 Stephen, who we all loved. 1531 01:20:18,682 --> 01:20:21,588 And then when you first got here, there was a, um... 1532 01:20:22,523 --> 01:20:24,159 He was a photographer. 1533 01:20:24,192 --> 01:20:26,966 Tall, blonde. 1534 01:20:26,999 --> 01:20:28,869 He took that photo of you that I really loved. 1535 01:20:28,903 --> 01:20:30,038 Daan. 1536 01:20:30,072 --> 01:20:32,241 His name was Daan. 1537 01:20:32,275 --> 01:20:34,179 I remember. Yeah, Daan. 1538 01:20:35,582 --> 01:20:36,919 He can't remember? 1539 01:20:36,952 --> 01:20:40,257 I'm just making sure that he understands who he is. 1540 01:20:40,291 --> 01:20:42,463 Hey. Sorry. 1541 01:20:50,211 --> 01:20:52,181 Oh, God, look at him. 1542 01:20:52,215 --> 01:20:53,718 Jesus. 1543 01:20:55,221 --> 01:20:56,591 Oh, Hannah, I can't bear that. 1544 01:20:56,624 --> 01:20:59,063 - Hey, he can hear you. - OK. 1545 01:21:03,505 --> 01:21:05,676 So he can't breathe on his own? 1546 01:21:05,709 --> 01:21:06,945 - No. - OK. 1547 01:21:06,979 --> 01:21:08,447 Not yet, anyway. Hmm? 1548 01:21:11,219 --> 01:21:13,625 Jesus, can they just prop him up or something? 1549 01:21:13,658 --> 01:21:15,495 He looks fucking horrific like this. 1550 01:21:15,529 --> 01:21:17,666 Why don't we just sit and talk to him? 1551 01:21:17,700 --> 01:21:18,768 OK. 1552 01:21:28,387 --> 01:21:30,192 I mean, I don't really know what to say. 1553 01:21:30,224 --> 01:21:31,962 He's usually the one doing all the talking. 1554 01:21:33,363 --> 01:21:34,700 You talk just fine. 1555 01:21:34,734 --> 01:21:36,471 Yeah, I know that. I know I do. 1556 01:21:39,543 --> 01:21:41,748 Oh, my God, Hannah, look at our dad. 1557 01:21:41,781 --> 01:21:44,220 He can hear you. 1558 01:21:44,252 --> 01:21:47,358 Oh, god, dad, you look like shit. 1559 01:21:48,528 --> 01:21:50,165 Hi. 1560 01:21:50,198 --> 01:21:51,869 It's OK. 1561 01:21:59,717 --> 01:22:00,752 Oh. 1562 01:22:00,786 --> 01:22:02,122 I am here. 1563 01:22:03,591 --> 01:22:04,961 It's OK. 1564 01:22:10,973 --> 01:22:13,244 The doctor said there was a similar patient 1565 01:22:13,278 --> 01:22:14,915 who can now sit in the backyard 1566 01:22:14,948 --> 01:22:17,119 with a cup of tea and a dog on their lap 1567 01:22:17,152 --> 01:22:19,355 and... and that there's... there's no reason 1568 01:22:19,389 --> 01:22:21,393 Dad couldn't have that life. 1569 01:22:22,830 --> 01:22:25,302 Oh, this coffee is awful. 1570 01:22:25,334 --> 01:22:27,239 What have they done to the milk? 1571 01:22:27,272 --> 01:22:29,009 Look at your risotto. 1572 01:22:29,043 --> 01:22:31,379 -Who puts tofu in risotto? -It's fine. 1573 01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:34,053 No. Excuse me! If it's bad, you send it back. 1574 01:22:34,086 --> 01:22:35,689 I've already eaten a quarter of it. 1575 01:22:35,722 --> 01:22:38,228 Jesus, Hannah, they need to know if their food is bad. 1576 01:22:38,261 --> 01:22:41,133 I will tell them and I'll get them to take it back. 1577 01:22:41,167 --> 01:22:42,202 No, please don't. 1578 01:22:42,236 --> 01:22:43,738 Why not? 1579 01:22:47,079 --> 01:22:49,016 Who puts tofu in risotto? 1580 01:22:49,049 --> 01:22:51,454 Would you like me to remove the tofu? 1581 01:22:51,487 --> 01:22:52,522 No, it's fine. 1582 01:22:52,556 --> 01:22:53,892 I've... I've already eaten some. 1583 01:22:53,926 --> 01:22:55,195 And honestly, it's fine. 1584 01:22:55,228 --> 01:22:57,799 Let her have the terrible risotto if she wants. 1585 01:22:59,637 --> 01:23:01,040 Fine, yep. 1586 01:23:01,073 --> 01:23:02,609 Just tell the kitchen that it's terrible. 1587 01:23:02,643 --> 01:23:05,582 And look, these eggs, they're way overcooked. Look at that. 1588 01:23:06,517 --> 01:23:08,655 Have a proper look. They're solid, they don't even move. 1589 01:23:08,688 --> 01:23:10,960 Uh, shall I get the kitchen to make them again? 1590 01:23:10,993 --> 01:23:12,863 No, you just tell the kitchen that they're terrible. 1591 01:23:13,898 --> 01:23:15,135 OK. 1592 01:23:29,430 --> 01:23:30,865 We could get him a dog 1593 01:23:30,899 --> 01:23:32,269 and he could sit in the garden... 1594 01:23:32,302 --> 01:23:33,571 Probably hooked up to machines. 1595 01:23:33,604 --> 01:23:35,809 . ..the dog on his lap, and they... they said that 1596 01:23:35,842 --> 01:23:37,913 he might even be able to communicate a little bit. 1597 01:23:37,946 --> 01:23:39,850 In the words of the doctor, "Maybe, 1598 01:23:39,883 --> 01:23:41,520 "and after an extended and difficult 1599 01:23:41,554 --> 01:23:42,723 "period of rehabilitation." 1600 01:23:42,756 --> 01:23:44,126 It's still possible. 1601 01:23:44,159 --> 01:23:45,628 It could take years, Em, 1602 01:23:45,662 --> 01:23:46,999 with no guarantee, 1603 01:23:47,032 --> 01:23:48,868 and that's the best possible scenario. 1604 01:23:48,901 --> 01:23:50,338 But it's still a life. 1605 01:23:50,372 --> 01:23:52,142 And no-one should give up their life to look after Dad. 1606 01:23:52,175 --> 01:23:53,878 -He wouldn't want that. -Oh, Jesus, Hannah. 1607 01:23:53,911 --> 01:23:55,882 -It's not what he wants. -How do you know that? 1608 01:23:55,915 --> 01:23:57,319 There was no advanced care directive. 1609 01:23:57,352 --> 01:24:00,125 There's no recent will either. Stephen's still in it. 1610 01:24:00,158 --> 01:24:02,295 Because it wasn't updated. But we know what he wants. 1611 01:24:02,329 --> 01:24:03,731 That's not the same. 1612 01:24:03,765 --> 01:24:05,635 He told me, Em, and he was very clear. 1613 01:24:05,668 --> 01:24:07,939 If he ends up more diminished, let him die. 1614 01:24:11,180 --> 01:24:13,051 And... and what? 1615 01:24:14,820 --> 01:24:16,323 What, we just go and get coffee? 1616 01:24:16,357 --> 01:24:18,661 Is that what he said? 1617 01:24:18,694 --> 01:24:21,801 You know what Dad's like. He just says shit like I do. 1618 01:24:21,834 --> 01:24:23,539 He could have written it down, 1619 01:24:23,571 --> 01:24:25,208 he could have... he could have left instructions, 1620 01:24:25,241 --> 01:24:26,944 but he didn't. 1621 01:24:26,977 --> 01:24:29,083 And maybe he would be very happy 1622 01:24:29,116 --> 01:24:31,654 just sitting in the garden with a dog on his lap. 1623 01:24:31,687 --> 01:24:32,956 That's his idea of hell. 1624 01:24:32,989 --> 01:24:34,359 Well, lately he's been happy 1625 01:24:34,393 --> 01:24:36,163 to sit on the couch and eat yoghurt. 1626 01:24:37,199 --> 01:24:38,768 He has been very diminished 1627 01:24:38,801 --> 01:24:39,837 since his first stroke, Hannah. 1628 01:24:39,870 --> 01:24:41,207 You just haven't been around. 1629 01:24:49,289 --> 01:24:51,627 I have seen him sit on the couch and eat yoghurt. 1630 01:24:53,431 --> 01:24:54,733 Oh. 1631 01:24:58,274 --> 01:25:02,782 Well, there were these panels and they were about 3x6 1632 01:25:02,816 --> 01:25:04,920 and, well, there were all different kinds of fabrics 1633 01:25:04,953 --> 01:25:07,024 and... and we would decorate them 1634 01:25:07,058 --> 01:25:08,529 with gems and buttons and... 1635 01:25:08,562 --> 01:25:09,730 Everything. 1636 01:25:09,763 --> 01:25:10,865 Anything. Whatever we wanted. 1637 01:25:10,899 --> 01:25:12,402 Sequins, 1638 01:25:12,435 --> 01:25:14,005 stuffed animals. 1639 01:25:14,038 --> 01:25:15,576 Hair. Condoms. 1640 01:25:17,879 --> 01:25:19,883 But everything you got you then... 1641 01:25:19,917 --> 01:25:23,056 . ..sewed together to form the quilt. 1642 01:25:23,090 --> 01:25:25,929 I felt like we were doing that every week. I loved it. 1643 01:25:25,962 --> 01:25:28,968 How could you love it? I mean, it's so... sad. 1644 01:25:29,001 --> 01:25:31,407 - I think it was just... - Hmm. 1645 01:25:31,440 --> 01:25:33,311 I was 15. 1646 01:25:33,344 --> 01:25:35,882 I think it just felt like family arts and crafts to me. 1647 01:25:35,915 --> 01:25:37,319 It was important work 1648 01:25:37,352 --> 01:25:40,391 because some didn't get funerals or celebrations. 1649 01:25:40,425 --> 01:25:41,927 Or families were ashamed. 1650 01:25:41,961 --> 01:25:43,699 You know, or didn't want to bring attention 1651 01:25:43,731 --> 01:25:44,701 to how they died. 1652 01:25:44,733 --> 01:25:46,237 So it's the only way 1653 01:25:46,270 --> 01:25:48,709 people who had an AIDS-related death 1654 01:25:48,741 --> 01:25:50,111 are remembered still. 1655 01:25:50,144 --> 01:25:52,450 - Mmm. - One day it's, uh... 1656 01:25:52,483 --> 01:25:54,621 "Have you heard about Felix? 1657 01:25:54,654 --> 01:25:56,591 "He's gone back home to his family." 1658 01:25:56,625 --> 01:25:58,495 And then we hear from the family. 1659 01:25:58,528 --> 01:25:59,697 Felix suddenly died from 1660 01:25:59,731 --> 01:26:01,267 lung cancer or something ridiculous. 1661 01:26:01,300 --> 01:26:03,304 Yeah. We knew the truth. 1662 01:26:03,337 --> 01:26:06,611 But you didn't really know in those early days. 1663 01:26:06,645 --> 01:26:10,586 You were constantly checked, but you were always scared. 1664 01:26:11,787 --> 01:26:13,391 Always fucking scared. 1665 01:26:15,729 --> 01:26:18,033 We went on holiday to Spain. You were there? 1666 01:26:18,066 --> 01:26:19,936 -Yeah. Tom. -Yeah. 1667 01:26:19,970 --> 01:26:21,373 - And Jim. - Jim. 1668 01:26:21,407 --> 01:26:23,076 And we went to the gay beach. 1669 01:26:23,109 --> 01:26:24,413 There was this man, 1670 01:26:24,446 --> 01:26:27,453 very skeletal man, with just his, uh... 1671 01:26:27,486 --> 01:26:29,189 . ..how do you call this, swimming, uh... 1672 01:26:29,222 --> 01:26:31,894 -Swimmers. -Swimmers, yeah. 1673 01:26:31,927 --> 01:26:35,669 And when he got up from his bed to go to the sea, 1674 01:26:35,703 --> 01:26:39,276 you could see that he was covered in Kaposi sarcoma. 1675 01:26:39,309 --> 01:26:40,646 Hmm. 1676 01:26:40,679 --> 01:26:44,353 Honestly, all over his body. It was horrible. 1677 01:26:44,386 --> 01:26:46,558 And I was thinking what a horrible sight it was, 1678 01:26:46,591 --> 01:26:48,059 but at the same time, I thought, 1679 01:26:48,093 --> 01:26:50,733 no, but it's also brave and it's also beautiful 1680 01:26:50,766 --> 01:26:53,371 that he felt comfortable showing his body like this. 1681 01:26:54,774 --> 01:26:56,877 But Jim wasn't interested, no. 1682 01:26:56,910 --> 01:26:59,282 Jim just pointed to a small purple spot 1683 01:26:59,316 --> 01:27:01,152 on Tom's neck or shoulder 1684 01:27:01,186 --> 01:27:02,690 and he said... 1685 01:27:04,527 --> 01:27:07,332 "You need to get that checked, otherwise... eugh." 1686 01:27:07,365 --> 01:27:08,568 No! 1687 01:27:08,602 --> 01:27:10,103 He just never has any fucking tact. 1688 01:27:10,137 --> 01:27:11,172 No tact. 1689 01:27:11,206 --> 01:27:12,409 Like, none at all. 1690 01:27:12,442 --> 01:27:13,911 We were on the beach. 1691 01:27:13,944 --> 01:27:15,749 There was no etiquette about these things. 1692 01:27:15,783 --> 01:27:16,818 No. 1693 01:27:16,851 --> 01:27:18,655 But still, yeah, it was... it was rude. 1694 01:27:20,492 --> 01:27:23,197 Tom was kind of a sensitive man, 1695 01:27:23,230 --> 01:27:24,366 unlike Jim. 1696 01:27:25,401 --> 01:27:26,970 And he said, "Well, thanks, Jim. 1697 01:27:27,004 --> 01:27:29,911 "Thank you very much for ruining my holiday. 1698 01:27:29,943 --> 01:27:32,014 "Muchas gracias, darling." 1699 01:27:32,047 --> 01:27:35,153 But he did have it. 1700 01:27:35,187 --> 01:27:36,858 - Ohh. - He did have it, yes. 1701 01:27:36,891 --> 01:27:39,630 -Yes, and he did get a quilt. -Yeah. 1702 01:27:40,933 --> 01:27:43,237 It's so... it's so horrific. 1703 01:27:45,676 --> 01:27:49,450 Sorry. It's terrible. 1704 01:27:49,484 --> 01:27:51,320 Sorry, I'm sorry. 1705 01:27:51,353 --> 01:27:55,562 It's a terrible story. It's not funny at all. It's not. 1706 01:27:55,596 --> 01:27:58,502 I don't even know why I'm laughing about it. 1707 01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:10,993 Sorry. 1708 01:28:15,602 --> 01:28:18,340 Oh, God, I just don't want him to die. 1709 01:28:24,554 --> 01:28:26,524 But I do need more wine, so... 1710 01:28:26,558 --> 01:28:28,862 Coming up. 1711 01:28:33,738 --> 01:28:36,043 Thank you. Thank you, sir. 1712 01:28:39,015 --> 01:28:41,252 I think that... Yeah. 1713 01:28:51,541 --> 01:28:53,209 I do, you know. 1714 01:28:53,242 --> 01:28:54,580 What? 1715 01:28:54,614 --> 01:28:56,751 Want him to die. 1716 01:29:02,127 --> 01:29:04,131 Because you don't need him like they do. 1717 01:29:12,015 --> 01:29:13,485 He thinks we have a thing. 1718 01:29:16,056 --> 01:29:17,860 I know. 1719 01:29:23,605 --> 01:29:26,143 Dark pink skin on the knuckles. 1720 01:29:27,412 --> 01:29:29,314 Prominent tendons. 1721 01:29:30,952 --> 01:29:32,187 Little cut. 1722 01:29:32,220 --> 01:29:33,758 Hmm! 1723 01:29:33,792 --> 01:29:37,131 There's a few dark hairs on the outside of the hand. 1724 01:30:03,485 --> 01:30:05,956 Be grateful and fucking move on. 1725 01:30:32,307 --> 01:30:35,649 Do you think Emily knows Jimpa better than you do? 1726 01:30:38,153 --> 01:30:39,557 Do you? 1727 01:30:43,096 --> 01:30:46,403 Emily's lived with or close to Jimpa her whole life 1728 01:30:46,436 --> 01:30:49,643 so she's got a... different relationship to him 1729 01:30:49,677 --> 01:30:51,079 than the one we have. 1730 01:30:51,112 --> 01:30:52,616 We have? 1731 01:30:52,649 --> 01:30:53,952 What's that? 1732 01:30:53,985 --> 01:30:55,956 Long-distance. 1733 01:30:57,291 --> 01:30:58,695 Mm. 1734 01:31:00,632 --> 01:31:02,536 I just wanna know what Jimpa wants. 1735 01:31:04,305 --> 01:31:06,042 You don't think I know what he wants? 1736 01:31:08,748 --> 01:31:10,785 The story you tell 1737 01:31:10,819 --> 01:31:14,325 about how he eventually had to leave to come to Amsterdam, 1738 01:31:14,359 --> 01:31:17,866 about how Grandma decided it was best to stay in Adelaide. 1739 01:31:18,868 --> 01:31:19,937 Yeah? 1740 01:31:22,407 --> 01:31:23,645 It's not true. 1741 01:31:25,114 --> 01:31:27,385 Grandma said to Jim that she could come with him 1742 01:31:27,417 --> 01:31:28,821 and bring the kids. 1743 01:31:28,855 --> 01:31:30,592 You could all move here together. 1744 01:31:31,694 --> 01:31:33,397 And Jimpa said no. 1745 01:31:34,365 --> 01:31:36,403 He said he wanted to do it on his own. 1746 01:31:38,373 --> 01:31:39,810 He could have 1747 01:31:39,843 --> 01:31:41,814 brought you all with him 1748 01:31:41,847 --> 01:31:43,584 but he didn't want to. 1749 01:31:47,926 --> 01:31:49,429 Is that what he said to you? 1750 01:31:51,199 --> 01:31:52,602 Do you think he was lying? 1751 01:31:55,307 --> 01:31:56,777 No, I don't think he was. 1752 01:32:04,325 --> 01:32:06,162 Are you and Dad monogamous? 1753 01:32:09,202 --> 01:32:10,437 Mostly. 1754 01:32:12,108 --> 01:32:13,711 Why don't you talk about it? 1755 01:32:17,819 --> 01:32:19,790 I'm not as open as Jimpa. 1756 01:32:22,529 --> 01:32:23,831 Hmm. 1757 01:32:44,038 --> 01:32:46,710 And you were Director of Public Health for five years. 1758 01:32:46,744 --> 01:32:48,013 Do you remember that? 1759 01:32:49,483 --> 01:32:51,019 Yeah? And... 1760 01:32:52,456 --> 01:32:53,825 Thank you. 1761 01:32:57,398 --> 01:33:00,672 And... and... 1762 01:33:07,686 --> 01:33:09,422 Emily's here. 1763 01:33:15,000 --> 01:33:17,138 Hannah, you don't have to do it. 1764 01:33:17,171 --> 01:33:18,774 No shit. I'm not eating ham. 1765 01:33:18,808 --> 01:33:20,678 What? Fuck. 1766 01:33:20,712 --> 01:33:23,350 No, Hannah, I'm talking about our dad. 1767 01:33:23,383 --> 01:33:26,322 No, it won't be me that actually kills him. 1768 01:33:26,356 --> 01:33:28,226 Fucking hell, Hannah. I'm... 1769 01:33:29,362 --> 01:33:31,867 I mean that you don't have to look after him. 1770 01:33:31,901 --> 01:33:34,305 If that's what scares you, I will do that. You know this. 1771 01:33:34,338 --> 01:33:35,909 You're not gonna have to give up anything. 1772 01:33:35,942 --> 01:33:36,911 Emily. 1773 01:33:36,944 --> 01:33:39,048 No, it's my fucking life. 1774 01:33:42,321 --> 01:33:43,858 I can help. 1775 01:33:43,891 --> 01:33:45,828 I can stay here and live with them. 1776 01:33:45,862 --> 01:33:47,633 Jimpa would love it and... 1777 01:33:47,667 --> 01:33:50,905 . ..I can properly experience this place. 1778 01:33:50,939 --> 01:33:52,341 - No. - Why not? 1779 01:33:52,374 --> 01:33:54,513 You were ready to let me live with him before. 1780 01:33:54,546 --> 01:33:56,685 No, no, not necessarily. 1781 01:33:57,819 --> 01:33:59,188 You weren't? 1782 01:34:02,462 --> 01:34:03,898 Hannah, can you please say something? 1783 01:34:06,069 --> 01:34:07,872 It's not what he wants. 1784 01:34:11,681 --> 01:34:13,083 It's OK, Mum. 1785 01:34:13,116 --> 01:34:15,955 Sorry, don't take this as hostile, but I need to go. 1786 01:34:15,989 --> 01:34:17,424 Go for a walk. 1787 01:34:27,612 --> 01:34:30,719 ♪ It's gone too far To ever go back ♪ 1788 01:34:30,753 --> 01:34:32,589 ♪ You know I wouldn't Give you up ♪ 1789 01:34:32,623 --> 01:34:35,629 ♪ But, baby, I don't want that ♪ 1790 01:34:41,172 --> 01:34:45,447 ♪ It hits you so hard To be so good ♪ 1791 01:34:45,481 --> 01:34:50,558 ♪ You know you keep so still And maybe it's a kind of flak ♪ 1792 01:34:52,161 --> 01:34:55,568 ♪ Maybe it's the reason That I'm back ♪ 1793 01:34:55,601 --> 01:34:58,340 ♪ Maybe it's alright ♪ 1794 01:34:59,543 --> 01:35:03,249 ♪ Maybe I've always Been this kind ♪ 1795 01:35:03,283 --> 01:35:05,723 ♪ Baby, it's too hard ♪ 1796 01:35:05,756 --> 01:35:11,165 ♪ I'm too scarred For this to work again ♪ 1797 01:35:11,199 --> 01:35:15,107 ♪ But you know I still wake up With you every morning ♪ 1798 01:35:15,140 --> 01:35:17,111 ♪ Like I'm still dead ♪ 1799 01:35:19,616 --> 01:35:23,289 ♪ I heard She's running out again ♪ 1800 01:35:23,323 --> 01:35:26,229 ♪ I know you're over that ♪ 1801 01:35:26,262 --> 01:35:29,871 ♪ I know that look You didn't want ♪ 1802 01:35:29,903 --> 01:35:32,241 ♪ You're all I've got ♪ 1803 01:35:32,274 --> 01:35:36,382 ♪ I heard you're fired up again ♪ 1804 01:35:36,416 --> 01:35:39,724 ♪ I know something Doesn't feel right ♪ 1805 01:35:39,757 --> 01:35:43,129 ♪ You know it's gotta feel Right ♪ 1806 01:35:44,966 --> 01:35:47,539 ♪ It's not the same now ♪ 1807 01:35:47,572 --> 01:35:53,116 ♪ But for a while This feeling hasn't changed ♪ 1808 01:35:58,795 --> 01:36:02,770 ♪ It hits me so hard To feel so grey ♪ 1809 01:36:02,803 --> 01:36:04,438 ♪ You know you kept so clean ♪ 1810 01:36:04,473 --> 01:36:07,545 ♪ There was a reason That you didn't stay ♪ 1811 01:36:09,483 --> 01:36:13,289 ♪ Maybe it's the reason You're so glazed ♪ 1812 01:36:13,323 --> 01:36:15,427 ♪ Maybe it's alright ♪ 1813 01:36:16,865 --> 01:36:20,571 ♪ Maybe I've always been So afraid ♪ 1814 01:36:20,605 --> 01:36:23,042 ♪ Baby, it's too hard ♪ 1815 01:36:23,076 --> 01:36:28,353 ♪ I'm too scarred for this To work again ♪ 1816 01:36:28,386 --> 01:36:32,227 ♪ But you know I still wake up With you every morning ♪ 1817 01:36:32,261 --> 01:36:34,466 ♪ Like we're still dead ♪ 1818 01:36:36,670 --> 01:36:40,645 ♪ I heard She's running out again ♪ 1819 01:36:40,678 --> 01:36:43,818 ♪ I know you're over that ♪ 1820 01:36:43,852 --> 01:36:46,958 ♪ I know that look, You did it wrong ♪ 1821 01:36:46,991 --> 01:36:49,563 ♪ You're all I've got ♪ 1822 01:36:49,596 --> 01:36:53,436 ♪ I heard you fucked it up Again ♪ 1823 01:36:53,470 --> 01:36:57,110 ♪ I know something Doesn't feel right ♪ 1824 01:36:57,144 --> 01:37:00,585 ♪ You know it's gotta feel Right ♪ 1825 01:37:02,254 --> 01:37:06,329 ♪ I heard She's running out again ♪ 1826 01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:09,368 ♪ I know you're over that ♪ 1827 01:37:09,401 --> 01:37:12,843 ♪ I know that look, You did it wrong ♪ 1828 01:37:12,876 --> 01:37:15,413 ♪ You're all I got ♪ 1829 01:37:15,447 --> 01:37:19,089 ♪ I heard you fucked it up Again ♪ 1830 01:37:19,121 --> 01:37:22,762 ♪ I know something Doesn't feel right ♪ 1831 01:37:22,796 --> 01:37:26,637 ♪ You know It's gotta feel right ♪ 1832 01:37:33,450 --> 01:37:35,488 -Is that Stephen? -Mmm. 1833 01:37:40,430 --> 01:37:42,135 What did you say to him? 1834 01:37:42,167 --> 01:37:44,539 I told him he was 1835 01:37:44,572 --> 01:37:47,277 being stubborn for not updating his will. 1836 01:37:48,514 --> 01:37:51,053 I told him I never wanted anything from him 1837 01:37:51,086 --> 01:37:53,356 except for his constancy 1838 01:37:53,389 --> 01:37:56,262 and that was the one thing he refused to give me. 1839 01:37:57,264 --> 01:37:59,502 And I asked him what's the use 1840 01:37:59,536 --> 01:38:02,976 of all of his ideals and opinions 1841 01:38:03,010 --> 01:38:06,248 if he can't give the people he loves what they need. 1842 01:38:09,556 --> 01:38:12,562 You know, you're allowed to be angry 1843 01:38:12,595 --> 01:38:14,165 or disappointed by him 1844 01:38:14,199 --> 01:38:16,235 and still think the world of him. 1845 01:38:16,268 --> 01:38:18,006 I know. 1846 01:38:18,040 --> 01:38:19,441 Are you sure? 1847 01:38:27,525 --> 01:38:29,261 I'm not sure if you remember much about 1848 01:38:29,294 --> 01:38:31,199 what we talked about the other day. 1849 01:38:32,300 --> 01:38:34,539 Or if you remember much about anything. 1850 01:38:35,541 --> 01:38:37,044 But I'm Hannah, 1851 01:38:37,078 --> 01:38:39,348 your youngest daughter. 1852 01:38:39,381 --> 01:38:41,686 And a filmmaker. 1853 01:38:41,720 --> 01:38:43,590 A mother. 1854 01:38:43,624 --> 01:38:45,127 A woman. 1855 01:38:47,465 --> 01:38:49,803 And we have to decide what to do with you today. 1856 01:38:57,552 --> 01:38:58,687 You tell me off 1857 01:38:58,720 --> 01:39:00,926 for not answering my phone when you call. 1858 01:39:00,959 --> 01:39:04,065 And for not visiting enough and for working too hard, 1859 01:39:04,098 --> 01:39:05,568 but you taught me those things. 1860 01:39:07,271 --> 01:39:09,709 And I'm about to make a film about you 1861 01:39:09,742 --> 01:39:11,713 and I kept saying I couldn't visit yet 1862 01:39:11,746 --> 01:39:13,217 and you kept saying to 1863 01:39:13,250 --> 01:39:14,619 block out the time in my diary 1864 01:39:14,652 --> 01:39:16,388 and just to tell everyone I'm working with 1865 01:39:16,422 --> 01:39:18,962 that it's happening and to come for a visit. 1866 01:39:21,766 --> 01:39:24,005 This is one way to keep me around longer than planned! 1867 01:39:27,345 --> 01:39:29,182 Are you OK? Are you in any pain? 1868 01:39:33,557 --> 01:39:34,893 No? Good. 1869 01:39:37,966 --> 01:39:40,537 So I'm gonna tell you about my film. 1870 01:39:43,210 --> 01:39:45,547 It starts in 1977... 1871 01:39:47,251 --> 01:39:49,722 ...which is obviously a different and difficult time 1872 01:39:49,756 --> 01:39:51,793 to come out as gay. 1873 01:39:51,826 --> 01:39:54,332 But it's extra hard for my main character 1874 01:39:54,365 --> 01:39:55,834 because he's married, 1875 01:39:55,868 --> 01:39:58,473 with a toddler and a newborn baby. 1876 01:39:59,575 --> 01:40:02,248 But he does tell his family. 1877 01:40:04,552 --> 01:40:06,323 And instead of conflict, 1878 01:40:06,356 --> 01:40:10,064 he and his wife work out how to keep living together 1879 01:40:10,097 --> 01:40:12,335 and to raise their two children. 1880 01:40:14,672 --> 01:40:17,878 They start creating a different bond 1881 01:40:17,912 --> 01:40:21,086 where they co-parent and they share a life and... 1882 01:40:21,119 --> 01:40:23,458 ...both of them having various relationships, 1883 01:40:23,490 --> 01:40:25,527 some good, some bad, and... 1884 01:40:26,663 --> 01:40:29,535 ...they go on living like this for over 10 years. 1885 01:40:30,571 --> 01:40:32,241 And, um... 1886 01:40:32,274 --> 01:40:33,677 ...you know, they build a home together, 1887 01:40:33,710 --> 01:40:35,414 they... cook biscuits. 1888 01:40:36,450 --> 01:40:37,785 They coach each other through life 1889 01:40:37,818 --> 01:40:40,624 to make a good life, a good family. 1890 01:40:42,561 --> 01:40:45,300 And because of this, their youngest daughter grows up 1891 01:40:45,334 --> 01:40:49,842 seeing their dad as gay and a father as one thing - 1892 01:40:49,876 --> 01:40:53,650 as one whole thing, with no hidden or separated parts. 1893 01:40:55,821 --> 01:40:59,195 But then all this changes when she turns 13. 1894 01:41:01,733 --> 01:41:03,504 The father is finding it harder 1895 01:41:03,538 --> 01:41:05,074 to get work in Adelaide. 1896 01:41:05,107 --> 01:41:08,146 He's considered too political, too controversial, 1897 01:41:08,180 --> 01:41:10,818 and... he feels limited by 1898 01:41:10,851 --> 01:41:13,256 the views, the place, the lifestyle, 1899 01:41:13,290 --> 01:41:15,160 and so he says he needs to leave. 1900 01:41:19,135 --> 01:41:22,108 And so, just like that, after 13 years, he leaves. 1901 01:41:36,504 --> 01:41:39,442 But instead of it being a terrible decision... 1902 01:41:43,048 --> 01:41:45,287 . ..it's presented as something wonderful... 1903 01:41:47,124 --> 01:41:49,228 . ..that will prove to open up all their lives. 1904 01:41:50,731 --> 01:41:51,966 And it did. 1905 01:42:52,855 --> 01:42:54,559 So that's what the film's about. 1906 01:43:00,571 --> 01:43:02,040 It's about a daughter learning 1907 01:43:02,073 --> 01:43:04,445 to not need her father so much. 1908 01:43:09,656 --> 01:43:10,824 Because she doesn't want him 1909 01:43:10,857 --> 01:43:13,028 to stay at home and cook biscuits for her. 1910 01:43:15,233 --> 01:43:16,869 And her being grateful for that. 1911 01:43:37,978 --> 01:43:39,915 Do you like that story, Jimpa? 1912 01:43:46,563 --> 01:43:48,567 And do you think it's true? 1913 01:43:56,784 --> 01:43:57,918 Jimpa. 1914 01:44:01,794 --> 01:44:03,963 Do you want to die now? 1915 01:44:13,383 --> 01:44:14,952 Em... 1916 01:44:16,422 --> 01:44:17,592 Hmm. 1917 01:44:34,291 --> 01:44:37,129 You've said goodbye to him a hundred times. 1918 01:44:37,163 --> 01:44:38,399 He'll be OK, Mum. 1919 01:44:39,335 --> 01:44:42,241 I just don't want him to feel alone. He must be so scared. 1920 01:45:50,275 --> 01:45:51,345 Hello? 1921 01:46:32,562 --> 01:46:35,232 Jimpa always thought he was right. 1922 01:46:36,435 --> 01:46:37,772 You might have heard him say, 1923 01:46:37,805 --> 01:46:39,509 "I'm not often wrong and I'm right this time." 1924 01:46:40,878 --> 01:46:43,149 But he did change his mind sometimes. 1925 01:46:43,182 --> 01:46:45,319 He was just used to fighting for it. 1926 01:46:47,090 --> 01:46:50,664 He told me recently he was selfish. 1927 01:46:50,698 --> 01:46:53,637 And it's true that he could be careless. 1928 01:46:53,670 --> 01:46:55,440 He hurt people. 1929 01:46:58,079 --> 01:47:00,584 I always said he was my hero. 1930 01:47:02,220 --> 01:47:04,391 But I didn't really know him that well. 1931 01:47:06,463 --> 01:47:08,934 I just had an idea of him. 1932 01:47:12,207 --> 01:47:14,712 I'm grateful for that idea. 1933 01:47:36,288 --> 01:47:38,259 I love you. 1934 01:47:39,629 --> 01:47:41,198 I love you too. 1935 01:47:52,521 --> 01:47:54,057 You're my hero. 1936 01:48:12,795 --> 01:48:16,503 ♪ You said you wanted To feel alive ♪ 1937 01:48:16,536 --> 01:48:19,509 ♪ So we went to the beach ♪ 1938 01:48:19,542 --> 01:48:23,082 ♪ You were born in July '95 ♪ 1939 01:48:23,115 --> 01:48:26,221 ♪ In a deadly heat ♪ 1940 01:48:26,255 --> 01:48:30,330 ♪ You say you're a winter bitch ♪ 1941 01:48:30,363 --> 01:48:32,702 ♪ But summer's in your blood ♪ 1942 01:48:32,735 --> 01:48:38,145 ♪ You can't help but become The sun ♪ 1943 01:48:42,722 --> 01:48:46,161 ♪ And it feels good ♪ 1944 01:48:46,195 --> 01:48:49,569 ♪ To be known ♪ 1945 01:48:49,602 --> 01:48:52,775 ♪ So well ♪ 1946 01:48:55,279 --> 01:48:59,689 ♪ I can't hide from you ♪ 1947 01:48:59,722 --> 01:49:04,131 ♪ Like I hide from myself ♪ 1948 01:49:08,640 --> 01:49:14,284 ♪ I remember who I am ♪ 1949 01:49:14,317 --> 01:49:17,858 ♪ When I'm with you ♪ 1950 01:49:21,265 --> 01:49:24,371 ♪ Your love is tough ♪ 1951 01:49:24,404 --> 01:49:30,149 ♪ Your love is Tried and true blue ♪ 1952 01:49:35,426 --> 01:49:38,568 ♪ Blue ♪ 1953 01:49:44,745 --> 01:49:46,649 ♪ I knew ♪ 1954 01:49:46,683 --> 01:49:51,258 ♪ When you told me you don't Wanna go home tonight ♪ 1955 01:49:51,291 --> 01:49:53,229 ♪ And you tried To just shrug it off ♪ 1956 01:49:53,262 --> 01:49:55,133 ♪ When I asked you why ♪ 1957 01:49:55,166 --> 01:49:57,370 ♪ Somebody hurt you ♪ 1958 01:49:57,403 --> 01:49:59,809 ♪ Somebody hurt you ♪ 1959 01:49:59,842 --> 01:50:02,347 ♪ But you're here by my side ♪ 1960 01:50:02,380 --> 01:50:05,119 ♪ And I knew ♪ 1961 01:50:05,153 --> 01:50:09,662 ♪ 'Cause I can recall when I was the one in your seat ♪ 1962 01:50:09,695 --> 01:50:13,571 ♪ I still got the scars And they occasionally bleed ♪ 1963 01:50:13,604 --> 01:50:15,841 ♪ 'Cause somebody hurt me ♪ 1964 01:50:15,874 --> 01:50:18,145 ♪ Somebody hurt me ♪ 1965 01:50:18,179 --> 01:50:20,383 ♪ But I'm staying alive ♪ 1966 01:50:20,416 --> 01:50:24,959 ♪ And I can tell When you get nervous ♪ 1967 01:50:24,992 --> 01:50:29,502 ♪ You think being yourself Means being unworthy ♪ 1968 01:50:29,535 --> 01:50:31,739 ♪ And it's hard to love ♪ 1969 01:50:31,773 --> 01:50:33,944 ♪ With a heart that's hurting ♪ 1970 01:50:33,977 --> 01:50:38,787 ♪ But if you want To go out dancing ♪ 1971 01:50:38,820 --> 01:50:41,091 ♪ I know a place ♪ 1972 01:50:42,561 --> 01:50:45,567 ♪ I know a place we can go ♪ 1973 01:50:46,970 --> 01:50:51,245 ♪ Where everyone's gonna Lay down their weapon ♪ 1974 01:50:51,278 --> 01:50:53,550 ♪ Lay down their weapon ♪ 1975 01:50:53,583 --> 01:50:57,958 ♪ Just give me trust And watch what will happen ♪ 1976 01:50:57,992 --> 01:50:59,795 ♪ I know ♪ 1977 01:51:02,367 --> 01:51:04,640 ♪ Right now ♪ 1978 01:51:04,673 --> 01:51:08,714 ♪ It's like you're carrying All the weight of your past ♪ 1979 01:51:08,748 --> 01:51:10,550 ♪ I can see all your bruises ♪ 1980 01:51:10,584 --> 01:51:12,888 ♪ Yellow, dark blue and black ♪ 1981 01:51:12,921 --> 01:51:15,594 ♪ But, baby, a bruise is ♪ 1982 01:51:15,628 --> 01:51:20,202 ♪ Only your body Trying to keep you intact ♪ 1983 01:51:20,236 --> 01:51:22,975 -♪ So right now-♪ Right now ♪ 1984 01:51:23,008 --> 01:51:27,116 ♪ I think we should go And get drunk on cheap wine ♪ 1985 01:51:27,150 --> 01:51:31,358 ♪ I think we should Hop on the purple line ♪ 1986 01:51:31,391 --> 01:51:33,664 ♪ 'Cause maybe our purpose ♪ 1987 01:51:33,698 --> 01:51:38,172 ♪ Is to never give up When we're on the right track ♪ 1988 01:51:38,205 --> 01:51:42,581 ♪ And I can tell When you get nervous ♪ 1989 01:51:42,614 --> 01:51:47,023 ♪ You think being yourself Means being unworthy ♪ 1990 01:51:47,056 --> 01:51:49,528 ♪ And it's hard to love ♪ 1991 01:51:49,562 --> 01:51:52,066 ♪ With a heart that's hurting ♪ 1992 01:51:52,100 --> 01:51:56,576 ♪ But if you want to Go out dancing ♪ 1993 01:51:56,609 --> 01:51:59,214 ♪ I know a place ♪ 1994 01:52:00,249 --> 01:52:03,355 ♪ I know a place we can go ♪ 1995 01:52:04,860 --> 01:52:08,933 ♪ Where everyone's gonna Lay down their weapon ♪ 1996 01:52:08,967 --> 01:52:11,405 ♪ Lay down their weapon ♪ 1997 01:52:11,438 --> 01:52:15,547 ♪ Don't you be afraid Of love and affection ♪ 1998 01:52:15,580 --> 01:52:18,018 ♪ Just lay down your weapon ♪ 1999 01:52:20,356 --> 01:52:23,697 ♪ They will try to Make you unhappy ♪ 2000 01:52:23,731 --> 01:52:25,099 ♪ Don't let them ♪ 2001 01:52:25,132 --> 01:52:28,305 ♪ They will try to tell you You're not free ♪ 2002 01:52:28,338 --> 01:52:29,475 ♪ Don't listen ♪ 2003 01:52:29,508 --> 01:52:31,445 ♪ I, I know a place ♪ 2004 01:52:31,479 --> 01:52:34,017 ♪ Where you don't need Protection ♪ 2005 01:52:34,050 --> 01:52:38,560 ♪ Even if it's only In my imagination ♪ 2006 01:52:38,593 --> 01:52:39,962 ♪ I ♪ 2007 01:52:41,331 --> 01:52:44,505 ♪ I know a place we can go ♪ 2008 01:52:46,107 --> 01:52:50,450 ♪ Where everyone's gonna Lay down their weapon ♪ 2009 01:52:50,484 --> 01:52:52,621 ♪ Lay down their weapon ♪ 2010 01:52:52,654 --> 01:52:57,163 ♪ Don't you be afraid Of love and affection ♪ 2011 01:52:57,196 --> 01:52:59,769 ♪ Just lay down your weapon ♪ 137080

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