All language subtitles for St. Denis Medical (2024) - S02E09 - EN

.

- All right, Jacob, this will
just be a little pinch and--

- No.

- Oh, uh, sorry, but when
you step on a rusty nail,

you gotta get a tetanus shot.

- I don't want it.

- Uh, Mom, Dad, Jacob says
he doesn't want the shot.

- Yes, and we have
to respect that.

- Right. [chuckles]

Uh, we do?
- Our son has body autonomy.

- Uh, all right, well,
I'll just holster this

till you're ready, partner.

Ow! Okay. Ow.

It's all right.
Didn't break skin.

You know what?

I did break skin,
but no tetanus for me.

Nice.

We'll just hang,
figure it out, and--oh.

All right.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hey, could you guys note
on Jacob's chart

that he has, uh, body autonomy?

I don't know if that's genetic
or what, but, um, yeah, thanks.

- Sure.

I didn't know
Matt wore glasses.

- Yeah, he said he slept
in his contacts.

They look nice, though.

- He looks hot,
like a cute professor.

- Yeah, he's like a boy Velma.

And I'm into it.

- [chuckles]
Matt's kind of a snack.

[both chuckle]
Right, Serena?

- I don't know about snack.

I mean, it's just eyewear.

- Holy moly.

Have you guys seen Matt
in glasses?

Ay, chihuahua.

- I know, right?

Maybe I'll make a move
at happy hour tonight.

- Ooh, yes.

You gotta.

- Bruce, chill.

- You chill.

Holly's life sucks, okay?

This could be huge for her.
- What?

- Holly, focus. This is it!

You gotta shoot your shot.

- Go get that farm boy D.

- Oh, my God, stop.

- Your babies would be so cute.

- Yes!
- Guys, come on.

It's just glasses.

- We don't agree with you,
okay?

We all don't agree with you.

[laughing] Oh, my God.

I think this is, like,
the first time

I've noticed his face.

- Hey, Joyce.
You wanted to chat?

Wow, okay. What are we doing?

- Uh...
[singsongy] Multitasking.

You know, between
the birthing center,

planning a wedding, and, oh,
yeah, running a hospital,

I gotta fit in my steps
wherever I can.

Walk with me.

- Oh, uh, do you mean just
stand here while you walk or--

- Give it some movement
so I don't get motion sickness.

[phone buzzes]

Ah, the electrician
is on her way.

Female electrician--
very progressive.

- Huh.

- I trust her about 5% less,
but that's on me.

- Uh, Joyce, what is a Smonday?

- Oh.

[treadmill beeps]

Smonday is the night
between Sunday and Monday.

And if I use my time wisely,

then I'm free and clear
for Muesday.

- Okay. Makes sense.

- Come here, you.
- Whew.

Sweaty.
[chuckles]

- Alex, you are like
a daughter to me.

Not my daughter,
somebody else's.

But still, I would be so happy
if you would be

part of my wedding
to Sanderson.

- Oh...[chuckles]

Joyce, I would be honored.

That's so kind. Thank you.

Yes, yes.
[laughs] Yeah.

- Thank God, because there are
a lot of details,

and I need a type A stickler
like you.

- Oh, so like
a wedding planner?

- No, that's a job.

This is an honor,
like you said.

- Hey, guys, any tips
on tricking a little kid

into doing something
they don't wanna do?

- Uh, here's a tip.

Don't phrase it like that,
you perv.

- Oh, uh, there's this kid
in 104

who refuses to take his shot.

- You just made
your first mistake

by ceding power to a kid.

- He just really doesn't wanna
take the shot.

- Yeah, but he really
needs the shot.

Now, I know your favorite food
is fish sticks,

but you're the adult
in the room.

- They're fish strips.

And I--I just don't
think that kid

respects
the adult-child dynamic.

- Matt, I have seen it all.

I have dealt
with biters, pinchers,

screamers, manipulators.

Guess who always
winds up on top.

- Biters?
- No, Matt, me.

Come on. Let's go stab a child.

- Okay.

- Oh, isn't it wild?

The new St. Denis power couple,
Matt and Holly.

Oh, we could call them Molly.

We'd have to change Molly's
name, but I'm fine with that.

- No one's calling them Molly.
- No?

What about Hatt?
But then what do we call hats?

I guess we call them Mollys.

[chuckling]
I mean, I'm just excited.

- I don't know,
Matt with Holly?

Just seems kind of random.

- Oh, okay.
Secret Holly hater.

What is it, her voice,
her hair,

the way she pronounces
"expecially"?

- No. Holly's fine.

I just don't see Matt
going for her.

- Huh, interesting.

Okay, uh, Sharice?

- For Matt?

- Oh, okay.

So you'd prefer Matt to go for,
like, more of a Serena type?

- What? No.

Not what I'm saying at all.

- So just to recap,
when Matt was crushing on you,

you weren't interested,
but now that Holly wants him,

it's "hands off my man."

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Very "Vampire Diaries."

- Oh, my God.

Stop trying to get me
to watch that show.

- [sighs]

- No, I don't care
if Matt gets with Holly.

I just don't see them
as a match.

If I see a pelican dating
a hippo and I go, that's weird,

it's because it's weird.

It doesn't mean I wanna [bleep]
the hippo.

That sounded weird.

- Okay, so first thing
on the to-do list,

we need to decide, uh,
DJ or band.

- Oh, uh,
Sanderson said that DJs

weren't around
during Viking times.

- Sorry, why is that relevant?

- Oh, that's our theme.

Sanderson wanted
a Norse Viking wedding.

- Is he part Viking?

- No. No, he just likes them.

- And--and that theme's
like, locked in, then?

- Yes.

Uh, this was one
of Sanderson's nonnegotiables,

along with Chaplain Steve
officiating

and a no-elderly policy.

Plus, we already got
our engagement photos taken.

- Oh, wow.

That--look at that.

That's so beautiful.
- Mm-hmm.

- Why is he--why is he digging?

- Oh, he's burying an offering
to the land spirits.

We didn't have a whole goat,
so, you know,

we just used some old
hot wing bones.

- Sure. I think that was smart.

At the hospital,
Joyce is a headstrong woman.

But sometimes in relationships,
we have trouble

asserting ourselves,
and we need an advocate,

like how I had Serena
tell Tim he had to stop

wearing bowling shirts.

It had to happen.

That was not the man I married.

Um, Joyce, isn't there
anything that you want?

- Eh, I had some ideas.

You know, my family's
lake house would have been nice

or a spring wedding.

But Sanderson's doing
all the heavy lifting,

so who am I to argue?

- You're the bride.

- According to Sanderson,
bride captive

.

- Okay, Jacob,
the doctor is in.

Now, here's what
we're gonna do.

We're gonna roll up
that sleeve--

- You're in my bubble space.

- Oh, let's be polite, Jacob.

But yeah, you were
in his bubble space.

- I'm in his what?

- We respect
Jacob's bodily autonomy.

There's a bubble
of space around him

that he's in charge of.

- You have one too.
- Okay.

Mom, Dad,
you wanna hold him down

so we can knock out this shot?

- Oh, we're really
not okay with that.

We've decided on a gentle
parenting approach.

- Well, you can hold him down
gently if you like.

He may buck.

- That's not the way
it works anymore.

- Seems like
Jacob's in charge,

so you might wanna
go through him.

- I'm so excited to be
working with you guys.

This wedding is gonna be fire.

Did you get a chance
to look over my website?

- Oh, yeah.

We'd like to go
with the Amore package.

- Smart.

You save a lot
by bundling vows,

personal anecdotes,
and roast-style jokes.

- Oh, I'm not, uh, sure
that we wanna be, you know,

roasting anybody
at the wedding.

Is that right, Joyce?
- Hmm? Whatever.

- I mean, I could let you
preview the jokes

before the day,
but you'd have to upgrade

to my all-access tier,
Amore Plus.

- Ooh!

Then we can bank
more Amore points.

They roll over, right?
[phone buzzing]

- Sorry, roll over into what?

- Well, the wrong I-9s were
sent to the entire department.

This is a disaster.

- [laughs] The rat race.

No, thank you.

- [chuckles]
Now, brass tacks-wise,

I see that instead of English,

you've opted to deliver
your vows in Old Norse.

- Um, yeah, Joyce, is that
something that you want?

Do you wanna, uh,
be speaking Viking

at your wedding?
- Hmm? Hmm?

- [laughs]
Viking is the ethnicity.

[singsongy] Problematic!

- [clears throat]
You know what?

She's right.

This is a hassle, Sanderson.

No, we are gonna deliver
our vows in the language

we already speak,
which is English.

- But that would cause me
hrygo, which means sadness.

- And I'm fine with that.
- Okay.

English, then.
- Okay, great. Progress.

- I just thought
of a great roast joke.

- All right, check this out.
[clears throat]

[with English accent] Here
we find a very rare species,

the Nurseus Thirsteus.

She's in her natural habitat,
doing whatever nurses do.

But what is she distracted by?

There.

Ah, the male nurse,
weak and pale.

His spectacles
make him irresistible

to the female in heat.

- What are you doing, freak?

- Okay, we've spooked her.

An outburst of hostility
like this, when threatened,

is typical for the--

[normally]
Hey! Dude!

That almost hit my eye!

- And then Joyce will carry
the oathing stone.

And we'll circle
each other 15 times.

Now, it's very heavy,
so I think she should

be wearing a back brace.

- No, we're not doing that.

- But it's too heavy
without a back brace.

- No, the oathing stone.
It's stupid.

Get rid of it.
- Love this.

The push and pull--

- Marriage is about compromise,
and you guys are doing great.

Joyce has her must-haves, like,
you know, speaking English.

And, Sanderson, you still have
your longbow ceremony.

- Nope.
We're not doing that either.

- What?
I already hired the archer.

He's 4'2".
It's gonna be hilarious.

- Okay, let's move this along.
Give me that marker.

- Oh.

- So, uh, in terms
of payment...

- No. Nu-uh.
- Credit card works best.

I'm banned from Venmo
right now.

Apparently, certain emojis
count as harassment.

[scoffs]
- Okay, no.

A milk bath to wash away
my maidenhood?

I have been
with five different men,

and I am tired of denying it!

- Every kid is different.

And when you've been doing this
as long as I have,

you realize you have a variety
of tools at your disposal.

- And this is helpful
for me to see,

'cause back home, kids
just did what they're told.

- That's actually nice.

- And if you ever
lost your hat,

you had to live under a blanket

till your mother
knitted you a new one.

- I--I think that's fine.

So, Jacob...
[clears throats]

You know, there was
this other guy that didn't want

to take his tetanus shot,
and his arms and legs

folded in permanently.

They call him Pretzel Man.

- I love pretzels.

- Well, we all love pretzels.

- Well, I'd say
I like pretzels.

- It's not about
the pretzels, Matt.

- Yeah.
- Now, this image

I'm gonna show you
is a bit graphic, but--

- Oh, oh, oh,
let's not do that.

We try not to use fear
as a motivator.

- Yeah, we don't wanna
scare him.

- Just--
- Don't we, though?

Here's a fun option.

We have a cartoon
about vaccines.

Now, you see, Mr. Bee,
he's giving a kid shots by...

stinging them?

Who made this?

- I'm not allowed to watch
screens until after bath.

- Good call, Jake.

If it's not too much trouble,

maybe you can
make the point using LEGOs?

- Well, I really hoped
it wouldn't come to this,

but you drive a tough bargain.

- Oh, not the belt. Oh.

- A prize--
a delicious Nutrageous bar,

the best candy in the biz.

Take the shot, and it's yours.

- I want Nerd Clusters.

- We don't have those.

- I want Nerd Clusters!

- I could run
across the street and get them.

- You're not getting
Nerd Clusters!

- Okay, if I'm
getting this all right,

we have a simple,
elegant ceremony

at the lake house
with no jokes--

to each his own--

and there will also be a cake.

- Great. Okay.

Um, if that's all set, then--

- No. No cake.

- [sighs]
- What? What's wrong with cake?

Cake is the best part
about getting married.

- Yeah, cake's pretty standard
at a wedding, Joyce.

- I would rather shoot myself
in the [bleep] face

than have a cake at my wedding.

- Why are those the options?

- Literally his only thing
left up here.

- Please.

If not for me,
then for our guests.

They're gonna need
a sweet treat

at the end of the night.

- Well, I guess
we're at an impasse.

- [sighs]

Well, you know what?

Then we'll go cake-less.

Because the only thing I need
at my wedding is my Jojo.

You are the sweet treat.

- I think the thing
Joyce actually doesn't want

at her wedding is...

- Uh, hey, you saw that 102
was discharged?

- Yup.

- Yeah, and you heard
that Matt and Holly kissed?

- What?
- Busted.

Oh, you hated that.

I got your ass in 4K.

This was blank.

- You know what? Fine.

Matt's an attractive guy,

and he looks really good
in glasses.

- Yeah.
- There. Whatever.

I'm not embarrassed.
- There you go.

Matt's a cutie patootie,

and you like him.

No, correction--you like him.

- Of course I like him.

He's one of my best friends.

I love Matt.
- Whoa.

- Whoa, no, no, no, no.
I--I didn't mean it like that.

- Hey, hey, you don't have
to say another word.

The joke's over.
Wow. So you love him?

- It's not like that, okay?

Just leave me alone.

God. Ow!

Keith, what the hell?

Everyone's in my [bleep] today.

- Whew, oof.

- Potty language.
[chuckles]

Get the soap out.

Oh, I'm bleeding.

- Okay, we bring out
a cake that says

"Congrats on the shot."

- [sighs] Matt.
- Then he'll have to get it.

He's not gonna eat a cake
he doesn't deserve.

- Existential day
in the old ER, huh?

- We're dealing
with a difficult kid.

- Oh, it's not the kid.
It's the parents.

- Oh, yeah?

What do you have,
yellers, anti-vaxxers?

We got a doctor in the family?

- Oh, it's worse.
They're gentle.

- Oh, no. Gentle parenting?

It's a nice idea.
Doesn't work, though.

- Thank you.
- Mm-mm.

- What happened to a simple no?

- Yeah, we tried gentle
parenting when Ella was six.

And after, like, a week,
she had, like,

Freddy Krueger fingernails.
- [laughs]

- And she smelled like crap.

And we were all eating
ice cream cake for dinner.

Finally, I just snapped.

And I was like, enough!

You are not in charge, okay?

- "Enough." That's a good one.

Now, my go-to was "cut it out!"

- Oh, I love "cut it out."

Cut it out!
[laughs]

- So when Michael was ten,
he was still wetting the bed.

- Mm.
- So I finally lost it, man.

I was like,
you better cut it out!

You're too old for this!

- No. Aw.

- I said, the next time
you wet the bed,

I'm gonna take your wet sheets.

I'm gonna hang them up
so all your friends can see.

They're gonna laugh at you
and call you Pee Boy.

So cut it out!
[laughing]

- Wait, did--did you actually
say that to him?

- Yeah.
[laughs]

You know, it's tough love,
boundaries.

- That must have been so scary.

- Oh, man,
don't say it like that.

He stopped wetting the bed.

- Probably stopped peeing
altogether.

- [sighs]

.

- Bruce, don't.

- Hey, hey. I come in peace.

You're eating spaghetti
in the middle of the day.

Wanted to see
how you're holding up.

- Everything's fine.
I'm fine.

- Mm-hmm.
- I don't care.

I'm not trying to date the guy.

- Okay, good. Great.

[chuckles]
I think that's for the best.

- Right.

Wait. What do you mean?

- Well, it's just, I--
I worry about Matt, you know?

He's fragile, innocent.

He's like a baby deer wobbling
on his newly formed legs.

You're...

[chuckling] Well, the way
you are, you know.

- The way I am?

- No, it's a compliment.

In dating, there are sharks,
and there are minnows.

Matt and Holly, minnows.

You, oof, great white.

Sorry, great Asian American.

I'm just saying that Matt would
gleefully swim into your jaws,

and you would chop him up,
poop him out.

He'd never be
the same Matt again.

- That's kind of insulting...
and weird.

- What? No. It's a power.

You're like me, and I'm
the person I respect most.

See, sharks like us, yeah,
we don't do relationships.

We chomp and poop.

It's in our nature.

- Right.

I'm not a shark.

I've had plenty of normal,
healthy relationships

that just, like,
ended after a few weeks.

And nobody got hurt.

Well, a couple of them
got hurt.

I'm not a shark.

- Hey, bud. It's Dad.

No, the router's still working.

You were right.
It was just unplugged.

[clears throat]
Listen.

You probably don't remember
this, but when you were little,

you had a minor
bed-wetting problem, and I--

Oh, you do?

All right, I didn't--I didn't--

I didn't mean to...

Okay, well, call me
when you can.

See you.

Jacob, I'm sorry
for being harsh earlier.

It's just that I care
about you getting better.

And, um, sometimes us,
as parents,

we may think we know what we're
doing, but maybe we don't.

Maybe sometimes we don't.

- Mommy, who's that
up in the sky?

It's me, Hospital Man.

- What is this?

- It looks like
the evil Professor Tetanus

has you in his clutches.

Quick, eat these
power clusters.

Wachoo.

- Nerd Clusters! Yes!

- I'll finish him off with my
syringe of justice, I guess.

- Fine.
You can give me the shot.

- I summon
the leagues of medicine--

pediatrics, orthopedics.

I think two leagues is fine.

All right, I'm gonna
give you the shot now.

All right. Ready?

- Hey, Joyce.

Oh, we're back on the thing.

That's good.
[phone buzzes]

Um, I just, uh, you know,
wanted to check in.

You all right?
- I am terrific.

I got everything I wanted,
and now we're done planning,

so it totally opens up
my Thriday.

- Oh, your calendar thing.
That's great.

Okay, yeah, just, you know,
wanted to make sure

you're happy with everything.

- Why wouldn't I be?
I got everything I wanted.

Now we can finally concentrate
on the next part

of our lives together,
which will be forever.

[chuckles]

- Yeah, that's the plan.

- Just me and him.
- Okay, Joyce, um--mm.

- Something is going on with
the heat in here, isn't it?

- Uh...
- It's, like, itchy.

- I think the air
is actually fine.

But maybe you should stop--

- My clothes are getting,
like, tight and prison-like.

Are you getting that too?
- No.

- I think I just need
to take this off.

- You know, you don't
actually look well, Joyce.

- Well, I feel fine.
- I think you're--

- I just can't breathe.
It's all good.

- I think you're having
a panic attack.

Just step off
the treadmill, okay?

- It is not a treadmill!

It is a portable walking path!
- You need to lie d--

Joyce!
- Ah!

.

- You have a walnut-sized lump,
no lacerations.

- BP's coming down.

- How's your sleep been?

- Uh, pretty awful,
but that's typical for me.

- And your diet, any changes?

Your bowel movements,
are they healthy?

- I mean, they're smelly,
but...

- Yeah, that's kind of
what they're known for.

- I think I was just
dehydrated, that's all.

- Joyce, respectfully, I don't
think this is about water,

and I think you know
what I'm talking about.

- Sanderson finally manned up,

and he said I could have
whatever I wanted.

But what I want
does not include him.

- Oh, boy,
that's a tough one.

- But if it's how you feel,

I think you need
to talk to Sanderson.

- [sighs]
It would destroy him.

He says that all the time:

"If you ever leave me,
it will destroy me."

It's part of his "good night."

- I know it'll be rough.

But sometimes saying
the hard thing and, you know,

really facing it,
that's how we show someone

we care about them.

- You're very wise, Alex.

- Thanks.
[chuckles]

- I have always hated
your laugh.

- What?

- I have to tone down
how funny I am around you

because it's just so grating.

That was hard, but I do feel
so much better now.

- Hey, bud.

No, router's good.

So I cleared my weekend,
and I am thinking

maybe I come to Austin
for a little visit?

I think we have things
to discuss.

Maybe a hug's in order?

Oh.

Yeah, that's good.

- I really respect Joyce
for making the hard decision.

No one likes hurting
the people that we care about.

But the thing
about relationships is,

it's bound to happen.

The kindest thing
we can do is be honest.

- No!

Jojo, please don't do this!

- At the end of the day,
the thing about--

- I'm begging you!

I'm on my knees!

Please, my face
is on your boot!

- I think we should just maybe
do this, like, another time.

- I'll eat your trash!
[sobs]

- I'm gonna go.
[chuckles awkwardly]

- Where's the poison?
[sobs]

- Hey.

Wanna ride with us
to happy hour?

It's half off drinks,
and yes,

that applies to lemonade.

I called.
- [chuckles]

Uh...nah.

I have a ton
of charting to finish.

You guys have fun, though.

- All right.
I'll pour one out for you.

- Oh, we have to get
the buffalo cauliflower.

It's "expecially" good.

- You are a wild woman.

- [giggles]

- Hey.

Know any engaged couples
who need an officiant?

Just lost a client.

Keeping their retainer,
but still.

- Bummer, but no.

- You gonna this happy hour
thing at O'Malley's?

[sighs] I could use a drink.

- Actually, wanna just go
to your place?

- Yeah.

Uh, cool.

- Cool.
- Yeah, we could do that.

[bell clangs]