All language subtitles for Half Man S01E05 1080p x265-ELiTE[EZTVx.to]_track3_[eng]

- How do you know the groom?
- Oh, he's my brother.

- Wait here.
- No. Niall!

Oh, here he comes. Look at this.
You coming for a dance, are you?

Why are you here?

- Nice to see you too, Bambi.
- Don't fucking call me that!

Why are you here?

Not like this. Let's go somewhere private.

Fine.

- So, it's definite?
- Yes, madam. All looking good here.

But that can't be.

I mean, I've been told
I can't get pregnant.

I've been told it would never happen.

Well, I've been doing this for 20 years
and I can safely say you are.

Around nine weeks, to be precise.

So, do you guys have any questions?

Yeah, I mean, what happens now?

Well, I think you need to start planning.

This is a geriatric pregnancy,

and you need to limit anything
which causes stress in your life.

Jesus, Niall!
You're gonna have to move out then.

And that machine's trustworthy, is it?

Excuse me?

It's just you hear stories, don't you?
You know, people getting scanned

and there actually being
nothing in there at all,

like a phantom pregnancy,
I think it's called,

something which isn't there
but its presence is...

is felt.

I'll have a phantom relationship
if you keep talking.

No, rest assured, Mr. Kennedy,
this is very real.

And something you need to plan for,
regardless of what you decide to do.

I'll leave you guys to chat.

It's bad luck, at least.

We have sex, like, once in six months
and I get pregnant.

Just think about it, Niall.

All the crying and screaming
and mood swings.

And then there's the baby to think about.

You can be honest with me, you know.

- About what?
- About whether you want this.

Go on. Free pass. No judgment.

God, I don't know. I mean...

Are you saying you want to do it?

I think so.

I'm 42. Been told I could never have kids.

This genuinely might be
my last chance to be unhappy.

But, hey, Niall, silver linings.

At least it's a short commute
to work for me today.

I'll see you later on.

Oh, wait. Are you still on for dinner
with Ruben and Mona later?

That's today, is it? Christ!

They're not gonna be all over
each other again like last time, are they?

No, I don't think so.
I've spoken to them about that.

Then fine, I'll be there.

Bye, Niall.

Or should I say, "Daddy"?

You're fucking gorgeous, aren't you?

And this neck.
I could fucking eat this neck.

Just be a fucking head and some shoulders.

Sorry, what were you saying?

Oh, I was just talking about Greece
potentially heading out the Eurozone

and going back to the Drachma.

Right, yeah. Shite.

Look, shall we call it here?
It's getting dark soon.

Hey, no way! I haven't asked Niall
about his new book yet.

- Oh, fuck me.
- Yeah, let's call it here, Ruben.

I'll order you guys a taxi.

Go ahead, Niall. I'm listening.
What's this one about?

Well, it's a semi-autobiographical story
about a young boy who's--

Good Lord, he's starting.
Hurry it up, Ruben.

I'm texting as quick as I can.
Don't worry.

Yeah, brilliant.

Oh, stop. We're just having banter.

You know, one day
I'll have a partner that respects me.

Wow. Can't wait to meet her.

Fucking love this girl.

Right. Driver says he's five minutes away.

I'll walk you out.

Can you believe it?

Drinking fucking wine out in the garden
like a couple of posh cunts.

Where we've come from.

- Fuck me.
- I know.

Oh, man, look. I know I joke,
but I just wanted to say, proud of you.

I remember when we met back up,
you were fucking rock-bottom, man,

now look at you.

Good girl, nice house,
new book, massive cock.

That's always a constant.

When do you think you'll be done by?
With the writing?

Oh, not long, I wouldn't say.
It's the final push.

Just... just figuring out the ending.

Oh, yeah.

Well, a book's gonna need
an ending, isn't it?

Why do you ask?

Well, look, I...

I hate to do this, but...

I'm gonna need that money back I lent you.

- What, all of it?
- Yeah, fucking all of it.

Jesus, Ruben, it's 30 grand.

Can't we just wait six months
until the launch bonus comes through?

No chance. Just write the ending
and get the book done.

- Any ending will do.
- Oh, come on, Ruben.

I mean, that'd be compromising
my artistic integrity.

You'll feel a lot better about it
when I'm compromising your health.

- Okay, that was harsh.
- Don't need to apologize.

I didn't.

- Don't forget his bag.
- Oh, thank you.

Yeah, lovely to see you.

Look, can we chat about this another time?
I don't want Ava to hear.

How?

- She knows you owe me this money.
- Yeah, it's just...

She thinks I paid you back already.

But you didn't pay me back.

I know.

Fuck me. You stole 30K
from your girlfriend?

- Stole it from her dad.
- Still, that's fucking insane.

What on earth did you spend it on?

It doesn't matter. It's nothing important.

Well, clearly more important
than paying me back.

Are you seriously telling me
you had my money

and kept it all for yourself?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

You shouldn't have told me that, Niall.

You really shouldn't have told me that.

It's just weird.

He earns a hundred grand a year.
What does he need it for?

I don't know, Niall.
Why don't you tell me your theory,

so I can use it to point out
your character flaws?

- He's fucking with me...
- Brilliant.

...to get me back for prison,

by asking it back
at a pivotal career moment.

Oh, please. He gets you back
for screwing him over

by giving you the equivalent
of a semi-detached?

I didn't screw him over.
We've been through this.

We screwed each other over.

- That's what we settled on.
- Still pretty long,

arduous, expensive
fucking with you, isn't it?

Lending you money and knowing
he will never get it back?

When breaking your fingers is so cheap.

No, I'm telling you. This is what he does.

Niall, he's done more for you
than anyone these past few years.

He kept you going financially,

after you practically cleared me
out of house and home with your nonsense.

I think your problem is
you still think of him

as the boy you grew up with.

Just talk to him.
Take him somewhere he enjoys.

Catch him at a good moment. He'll be fine.

He'll wait another six months.
I promise you.

He's big and fluffy
underneath it all, really.

Motherfucker!
I just find it fucking ridiculous.

Get this. Mona said last night
she wants to start teaching dance classes.

Have you ever heard
of anything so fucking stupid?

I asked her what she'd get from it.

You know what she said?
"Self-empowerment."

It's pathetic. She's my wife.
She should take all her power from me.

I've spoiled her rotten,

and now she's telling me she needs a life
when I've given her the best one around.

It's fucking rude, is what it is.

And I don't trust the cunt
that's asking her either.

Benji. Fucking Uncle Rico twat.

He has ill intentions,
and it pisses me off.

I want to go down there
and crack his head open,

dance on his fucking brains.

Anyway, what do you want
to speak to me about?

Oh, just this money business.

Oh, fuck me. Is that why we're here?
Soften me with soft toys?

- Well, I thought it would be nice.
- Yeah, you're paying me back, Niall.

- That's not fair.
- "Not fair"?

You know, you're the only cunt
in the world who could borrow 30K

and then make the other cunt
feel unreasonable for asking it back.

Yeah, but can't we come up
with some sort of system instead?

- Sure, you can pay me back 800 a month.
- Impossible.

- I mean, I could do 200 at a press.
- No, it's not enough.

Well, then I'm out of options, Ruben.

Short of giving up on my dreams,
and I'm not willing to do that.

Come on, Niall. They've given up on you.

- Okay, that was harsh.
- Don't need to apologize.

I fucking didn't.

Look, I'm not a monster, all right?
There are other ways of doing this.

What other ways?

Well, I pay a gardener and a cleaner
15 pound an hour.

I can let them go,
you can pick up the slack,

deduct it from the total.

- You want me to be your bitch?
- Hey, Mr. Radeem is nobody's bitch.

But that's one way of doing it.

Couple of times a week,
we can call it 200 a month.

Add it to the 200, that's 400 total.
I can stomach that for now.

Yeah, but, Ruben, Jesus.
I'm not sure I feel comfortable with that.

I mean...

do you feel comfortable with that?

Yeah. I think I can live with it.

Hi.

Care to join?

Sure.

I hate that he's making you do this.

- So, where is he?
- God knows.

Stalking through the night.

I take it you suggested
these dance classes again.

Is that right?

Yep.

- He stormed straight out.
- I see.

Are you gonna defy him?

Nah.

Can't start World War III
over a few twirls.

Maybe you could write a chapter
in your book about me going?

I can read it and it'll be like I'm there.

Oh, it wouldn't be
what you're looking for.

- I haven't danced in my life.
- Oh, come on now.

- Scottish Country Dancing at school?
- Oh, piss off!

Most embarrassing experience of my life.
Nobody would dance with me.

Meanwhile, Ruben had
about five women hanging off of him.

That's our boy.

Yeah.

I miss that Ruben, you know?

Yeah.

Me too.

What do you think happened?

It's men.

They always fall away with time.

Look, I'd better head off, actually.

Ava will be wondering.

You go, tiger.

Oh, I forgot to say...

I remember you dancing,

back at school.

It's hard to describe, but...

I remember you just being so...

free.

- Ruben?
- What'd you say to her?

- Excuse me?
- She's taking her first class tonight!

Something about how
she looked dancing back at school.

- Oh, it was just a comment.
- Well, what are you doing commenting?

She was just about to back out
of the whole fucking thing.

Ruben, I really don't think
this is a big deal.

Yes, it is. You fucked me.

Because now instead of stopping her hobby,
I'm stifling her freedom.

I don't see what the problem is here.

The problem is she used to stay
at home all day and wait for me.

Now I get back and she's out there
throwing her fucking body about.

So? There's nothing wrong
with enjoying a bit of attention.

I mean, if you've got it,
flaunt it, that's what I say.

Hey, hey, hey. She hasn't got it.
We're married. I've fucking got it.

It's not hers to flaunt,
it's mine to keep.

Are you taking your meds, Ruben?

I'll fucking take all of them
if you don't sort this out.

Well, what do you want me to do?

I want you to go down the dance class
and keep an eye on her.

You want me to stalk your wife?

No, I don't want you
to stalk my wife, Niall. Jesus Christ!

Just stay close to her.
Trace her movements.

Follow her around the place a bit.

But don't stalk her.

I don't know, Ruben.
This all feels a bit...

- off to me.
- Oh, I don't know.

You've done worse
than this before, have you not?

I mean, maybe we can go upstairs
to Ava, let her decide.

Or her father.

But what? Are you expecting me
to, like, join in?

Yeah, why not? If you're so pro it,
maybe you'll find freedom in it too.

And stop her drinking.

She always spills her guts
when she drinks.

Fuck's sake!

Christ.

Okay, guys, shall we begin?

Okay, we're going deep squat. Ready?

Three, two, one.

Well done. I loved the class.

- I know. How was it?
- Yeah.

Everyone was moving.
I'm sweating so much right now.

- Me too. Or I was. It was great.
- Well done.

Let me give you a hug.

I'm sorry.

You know what Ruben's like
when he gets persuasive.

Yeah, I do, actually, which is why
I'm not giving into it this time.

I'll get to 60 and realize
I've spent my life in his pockets.

- I mean, is this really all about dancing?
- No.

Goes a lot deeper than that.

- Well, go on. You can say.
- No, I can't.

It'll destroy him.

Well, how about a drink instead?

What? He asked how old you were?

Yeah, this random dude. Told me it's great
to see me going for it at my age.

- That's insane. What did you say?
- I told him I was 30.

That's nuts, Niall.
You look like a prisoner of war.

I feel like a prisoner of war.

You fucking will be if you turn up
at my dance classes again, I tell you.

I'm sorry, Mona.

I'll stay away.

I need to anyway.
Ava's starting to think I'm avoiding her.

Why would you be avoiding her?

Well, she's pregnant, as it happens.

Wow. Congrats. That's quick.

- Yeah.
- What's wrong? You doubting it?

We've been together a year
and we barely know each other.

Well, I would say that's better
than knowing everything about someone.

Yeah, maybe.

Just makes me question
if it's real, you know?

Ruben is gonna go radge
when he finds out Ava's pregnant.

Oh, yeah? Why's that?

He's infertile.

What?

Well, low fertility,
but it's pretty much the same thing.

- Is this why he's been so jealous?
- Yeah.

He thinks I'm gonna leave him for a man
that can give me all he can't.

- Wow. Ruben?
- Why is this so shocking?

It's just for a man
that leads with his balls...

That's not funny.

No. Sorry.

Have you talked about adopting?

Once, but Ruben tore
the kitchen sink off the wall.

I don't think you realize how bad it is.

It's like... he's lost his mind
to the whole thing.

He gets drunk
and talks about how having a kid

is "God's plan" for him
so he can "break the cycle."

- What do you think he means by that?
- Christ knows.

I just think he wants a kid
he can care for

because his dad didn't treat him so nice.

Yeah.

But anyway, let's change the subject.

- This is depressing.
- Yeah.

To our fucked-up relationships.

To our... fucked-up lives.

I love it.

Jesus, Niall.

Where on earth have you been?

I think we should do it.

I think we should have a baby together.

Ava's pregnant,
and we're gonna make a go of it.

Oh, yeah?

- Is that it? "Oh, yeah"?
- I was just waiting for the caveat.

No, there's no caveat.
We're doing this. I told her last night.

- When did she get pregnant?
- I found out a week ago.

Well, that doesn't sound
very certain to me.

Well, I was just thinking it through.
Ava and I are still very new,

and it's a big thing
to put at the center of things.

You can say that again.

I mean, it's hard enough
without everything else.

"Everything else," as in?

Your sexuality.

- That's over, Mum. I've told you this.
- Is it though?

I find it very convenient
you find your straight side

the second Ruben is back in your life.

How many times? It was a phase.

It wasn't a phase, Niall.
It was a serious problem.

Well, then how come it stopped?

Because you enlisted
the services of a priest.

Nobody pays that much money
to get themselves

- out of a bloody phase.
- He wasn't a priest.

He was a spiritual figure.

He was a charlatan and you're a div.

Well, it worked, didn't it?

Oh, bollocks, did it.

Do you really think
your sexuality can be done away

with a few cups of poison?
Don't be daft, Niall. Jesus!

Well, then how come
I haven't done anything since then?

Because you haven't been tested yet.

Trust me. It will creep up on you
in your darkest hour.

These things always do.

Jesus Christ, just stop it, will you?
You should be happy for me.

I am happy, love.

I'm just trying to make you see
the full picture.

Can you honestly look me in the eye
and say you're certain you want a child?

Yes, Mum. Yes, I can.

Well, then do it.

I'm certain.

The thing to forget
is anything the books tell you.

Truth is, it can take a while
for that bond to form,

particularly for the dads.

Excuse me.

It's Niall, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- What did I just say?

Something to do with the dads?

Yes. Very nearly a full sentence.

Just that it is natural for the dad
to take longer to connect to the baby.

Fucking twat.

"What did I just say?"

Like I'm some schoolkid.

He just wants to make sure
everyone's moving at the same pace.

Yeah, he always looks at me
when he makes the negative points, though.

Well, you give off the vibe
of an absent father, to be fair.

- How do I?
- Runs in the family.

Your father was an absent father,
was he not?

- He died.
- Exactly.

You don't get much more absent
than that, do you?

- Oh, Jesus, what now?
- What the fuck is he doing here?

Ruben?

What are you doing here?

- I just need a word.
- Everything okay?

We'll be fine.

Just give us a second, will you?

The other night.

Dance class.

I want to know what you saw.

I didn't see anything.

Was Benji there?

Yeah, I think so.

What happened?

Nothing.

- They talked?
- Yeah.

- Well, then something happened, didn't it?
- Well, a talk doesn't mean anything.

Describe it.

The interaction.

Well, he went up at the end of the class.

- They hugged--
- They hugged?

- Yeah.
- They fucking hugged.

- Motherfucker!
- Ruben, that is too...

That's too far! It was a...

It was like a friendly hug.

- Do it on me.
- No.

- I can't indulge this--
- The hug. Do it on me.

Okay, I'm Mona. You're Benji. Do it on me.

- Come on.
- Well, it was just like...

She may as well have sucked his cock!

- This is insane!
- No, it's not. Okay?

I want you to do better here,
moving forward.

I can't keep doing this.
I can't. I have a life.

What fucking life do you have?
You're practically unemployed.

Well, even so, I'm not gonna spend it
spying on your wife.

Tough shit!

When you get yourself a life,
you can complain I'm pulling you from it.

So, you're fucking doing this, all right?
'Cause I've got your fucking balls, Bambi.

Don't forget it, yeah?

Yeah? Do you understand?

- Do you understand?
- Yes.

Good.

Good.

Is there anything else
you need to say, hmm?

Yeah.

Ava's pregnant.

Wow.

Wow.

That's amazing.

Honestly, that's...

That's amazing.

I'm gonna be an uncle.

Hey?

Uncle Rube.

Hey, it's got a nice ring to it. Yeah?

I'll be the cunt that comes round

and does the coin trick
behind the ear, huh?

You're not allowed to teach him it.

Hey, that's my trick, yeah?
You big fucking shagger.

Yeah? I'm proud of you.

My brother from another lover, yeah?
Putting your fucking dick to work.

Hey, hey. Hey.

They should put it in museums,
shouldn't they?

Your cock on display, yeah?
Can you imagine?

Big fucking dick with a strong seed.

All the people in the museum
wandering around, looking over.

I bet never in a million years

would they think it was strapped
to a fucking body this meek.

Yeah, or a face this fucking scrawny, hey?

I bet they thought it'd be strapped
to some fucking big bison of a cunt,

some fucking, like, Greek muscly fucker,
some fucking Russian cunt, yeah?

- Yeah? Hey, hey.
- Don't--

Hey, why don't you
show me it, yeah? Fuck it, hey?

- Come on, show me, hey?
- Don't--

Hey. Niall, show me. Show me.

- Show me, hey?
- Ruben, don't!

I just wanna catch a glimpse.
Come on, mate.

- Don't-- Get off!
- Hey? Hey? Hey! No, no!

It's like a fucking trophy, isn't it, hey?
Hey, hey, fucking show me.

Yeah. Come on. Come on, Niall, hey?
It's like a big fucking trophy, isn't it?

- Hey.
- Get off!

Yeah. Come on, Niall, yeah?
Yeah? Come on, Niall.

- Come on, show me your fucking dick.
- No!

Come on, Niall. Get it out, yeah?

- Yeah? Yeah?
- What the fuck are you doing?

Yeah? No, no, no, no.
Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, I want to see
the big fucking shagging...

No! Fucking get off!

- ...impregnating fucking piece.
- Ruben, stop!

You're gonna do better for me
moving forward, are you, yeah?

You're gonna fucking keep an eye on her.

You're gonna fucking keep
an eye on her, are you?

- Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
- Stop it! Get off!

- Yeah? Yeah?
- Ruben!

What the hell's going on here?

Nothing. We're just messing around.

Look, it's getting late, yeah, so maybe
you can come back another time.

You big fucking shagger.

You big shagger!

Yes!

- Hey, mister.
- Hey.

Where's Ruben?

He left this morning for Aberdeen.

He'll be offshore next week,
so we'll all get a bit of peace from him.

Do you fancy some soup?
I'm going to put a pot on.

Sure. I'll just finish up here.

No, you won't.
You've got more important work to do.

Follow me.

You're probably the first person
to use this.

I was thinking you could write
some of your book and read me it later.

Here's the Wi-Fi code.

And if you get chilly,

Ruben's dressing gown's
on the back of the door.

I'm excited to read some.

Here you go.

- It's a bit hot.
- Oh, thanks.

Go on, then.

- Read me some.
- Oh, no, no.

I'll feel self-conscious.

Well, I'll close my eyes then.
You can whisper to me.

"Billy looked up to Cosmo,
who was everything he was not."

"He had a violent, unafraid quality,
like he could go off any time somehow."

Sounds like Ruben.

"He was tall, slim, with jet-black hair,

and seemed to have a succession of girls
throwing themselves at him constantly,

all of whom he would brush off
without a single care in the world."

"Apart from Kara Alice,
the top girl in the whole school."

"Every boy fancied her."

"She had this rare, wispy quality,
like she was unattainable somehow."

"And Billy didn't know
whether it was youth

or good looks or adolescent projection
on his part, but she..."

Keep going.

"...she walked like fairy dust,

as though brightening
every corner of the school."

Well, I don't know about you,

but I'm feeling every inch of this book.

- It's honestly fine.
- Ruben?

What the hell? I thought you were going
to Aberdeen today.

Yeah, I'm going in a minute.
I just came round to drop these off.

Say congratulations.

Sit.

Look, I...

I wouldn't be a man
if I didn't come round and say

I'm happy for you.

You know, Ava,
you're going to be a great mum.

And, Niall, you're going to be a dad.

But I'm also coming round...

to say that I'm calling in my debts.

Ruben, don't do this.

- What debts?
- Niall owes me 30K.

What? I thought you paid that.

- Why are you doing this, Ruben?
- Because once you have a kid,

you'll never have the money
to pay me back.

Niall, what's going on here?

Is this because Ava's pregnant?

What makes you say that, brother?
I'm happy for you.

No, it's just I know
you've been trying really hard.

She told you?

She fucking told you?

- She fucking told you!
- Ruben, wait, wait!

She fucking told you!
I'll fucking kill her!

- I'll fucking kill her!
- Oh my God, Niall. Are you okay?

- I need to go after him.
- No, no, you don't.

- Niall, you might be concussed.
- No, I have to.

- No.
- I have to go.

- Niall, no.
- Ava!

- No!
- Let me go.

Niall!

Oh, shit!

- Get your fucking shit...
- Ruben. Ruben, stop. Wait!

- ...out my fucking house!
- Wait, we can talk about this, Ruben.

I can't believe you.

- I fucking can't believe you.
- Ruben, please!

- Fucking telling him my shit.
- Please! Why are you doing this?

I told you, didn't I? I fucking told you.

- Let's talk about this.
- What the hell's going on?

This is what you get. It's her!

- Telling my shit to people!
- Ruben, stop.

Shouting her mouth off at people!

Ruben, stop before someone
calls the police. Stop it.

- That's not yours to give away!
- Stop it!

Do you understand?
I fucking told you!

Is there a problem here?

- Shut the fuck up!
- Ruben, stop.

- Shut the fuck up!
- Ruben, stop!

- You fat cunt! You want some, yeah?
- Look!

- You fat fucking cunt! Walk away!
- Ruben, look at me!

- Look at me!
- Walk away!

- Look at me! Stop it!
- Yeah, what you looking at?

- Stop it! Hey, look at me!
- Yeah, you fucking walk away!

You're gonna lose everything
if you don't fuck off right now!

Look at what you've built!
Look at what you've got!

If they call the police,
you're gonna lose it all

and you're gonna end up back in prison!

- Ruben, I'm sorry.
- Don't even go there.

- I'm so--
- Don't even fucking go there.

Fuck!

What did you say to him?

I'm so sorry, Mona.
He forced it out of me.

Are you okay?

- Are you all right?
- Look what he's done.

I know. I know.
I didn't know he'd do this.

Why don't we get you
back inside, all right?

- Yeah.
- And I'll fix this. Okay. Come on.

Let's go. Let's go.
We'll get everything cleaned up.

Hey.

Hey, what's wrong?

Fuck. It's my life.

I know I should leave him,

but I just...

love him so much.

I know he can't help it.

But it's killing me.

Look, I feel like I'm betraying him here
by saying this, but...

you deserve better.

I love Ruben.

But he's lost his mind.

He's away with the fairies now.

In fact, even the fairies
have had enough of him.

No.

Jesus Christ!

Are you okay?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Don't apologize.
Just tell me what the hell is going on.

No, I am. I'm sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.

What happened with the money, Niall?

- I can't say.
- Yes, you can.

That was my dad's money.
I need to know what you spent it on.

Niall?

- What did you spend it on?
- I did these courses.

I did these...

straightening-me-out type courses.

What?

That's not okay, Niall.

What did they do?

I drank stuff.

Looked at images. Threw up a bit.

- What, and you spent 30K on this?
- No.

No, he asked for direct debit
and then he emptied my account.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Niall.

Why can't you just be happy
with that side of yourself?

It's the 21st century.
Nobody cares anymore.

It doesn't make me feel any better.

I mean, the fact
that the world is progressing

only adds to the problem,
because not only am I ashamed...

- bloody irrational too.
- I get that.

But when you told me,
I said it didn't matter.

As long as it didn't interfere
with our relationship.

Besides, everyone who matters knows.

Your mum knows. I know.

Christ, from what I understand,
every truck driver in Glasgow knows.

- I don't see why it's a problem.
- Because I don't know!

Look, you need to get some help.

Some proper help.

Because I don't have it in me

to fix someone
who won't show me their parts.

I will.

I don't know where to start.

Start with the biggest thing

and work back from there.

Mona, look, I just wanted to pop round
and see how you were, really.

Yeah, fine, I suppose.

It was a...

a moment of madness, but...

I don't think we should get
worked up over it or punish ourselves.

Yeah, I agree.

So, are you feeling, like, okay about it?

I don't know how to feel, if I'm honest.

I haven't allowed any emotion in.
I'm good that way.

Yeah, but this is pretty big, Mona.

You slept with his brother,

on his kitchen floor, the floor he tiled.

Yeah, I know. I was there, Niall.

Sorry, Mona. Is everything all right?

You're being a bit cold.

I'm just compartmentalizing.

- It's how I cope.
- Yeah, I get that.

- But with his brother, Mona?
- Oh, please!

Are you really trying to get me
to realize my guilt here, Niall?

- You are the brother!
- Yeah, no, I know that. I just...

Look, can you not do that, please?
Jesus, Mona.

Why are you being so chill about this?

If you must know...

I've been here before.

What, on Ruben?

This is the first time
I've had sex behind his back.

Wait, are we talking about Benji here?

That twat with the mustache?

It doesn't matter who it was.

Oh my God, it is him, isn't it?

So, all of Ruben's suspicion
around this, it's justified.

It's not justified, Niall.

There's no excuse
to treat me the way he has,

- regardless of what I've done.
- You've fucking driven him insane!

- He pushed me there!
- Oh, really?

Did he push your hand on his cock as well?

Do you know what, Niall?

I don't think this has anything to do
with Ruben or anything like that.

This is to do with the fact

you've realized you're not as special
as you thought you were.

Now, nip out, will you?
I need to get my glam on.

We can talk about this another time.

Newborns get very cold.

So, the first thing to do
is minimize the amount of time

that they're undressed,
but the best thing to do is...

Oh, mayday, mayday.
We have a fully clothed baby drowning.

Niall Kennedy.
You have the right to remain silent.

- Anything you do say--
- Oh, why don't you fuck off?

Okay, so the best thing to do...

- What was that?
- He's a prick.

- Go back and apologize.
- No chance.

He should be apologizing to me.
I pay the man.

He has no right to talk to me
the way he does.

Well, I pay you, so I can talk to you
the way I want then.

You're a disgrace, Niall Kennedy,
a child in man's clothing.

- Yeah, yeah, you can shout at me tomorrow.
- I'm shouting at you now!

I'm staying at my sister's

so you can bloody think
about what you've done here.

Because you don't get to steal my money
and fuck up these classes as well.

And trust me, if you do it again,
your visits will be supervised!

Last fucking chance.

Yo, it's Ruben. Leave a message.

Yo, it's Ruben. Leave a message.

Yo, it's Ruben. Leave a message.

Ruben, it's Niall.

I know that you're offshore right now,
but I found out some information on Benji,

and...

Look, I tell you what,
I'm coming to Aberdeen.

Hi. Yeah, hi.

I'm wondering if I could speak
to Ruben Pallister.

I'm his brother, and I... I...

I really need to get in touch
with him somehow.

- Ruben Pallister?
- Yeah.

Never heard of him.

Oh, yeah, he's a rigger here.

But he comes in here for payroll stuff
every now and again, I don't know.

But, I mean, he...
I mean, he definitely works here.

Here, Bill. Do you...
Do you know a Ruben Pallister?

- Oh, Pallie. Is that who you mean?
- Aye, yeah.

Yeah, I remember him.
He got let go of ages ago.

Wait, what?

No, no, no, that--
But that can't be, 'cause, I mean, he's...

No, I mean, he's offshore right now, no?

I can check for you.

No, no Ruben Pallister here.

Right.

Well, do you know where
I might be able to find him?

I mean, I think he's staying
with an old colleague here.

- A guy called Roy.
- Okay.

Well...

Do you have his address?

Ruben!

Ruben! Ruben, wait!

There you go.

Talk to me.

They're telling me you've been sacked.

Well, if that's what they're saying.

How long ago was this?

About a year ago.

A year?

But you're up here all the time.

Yeah, well, I had to keep up the pretense
while I figured out what to do.

It's why my phone's been off as well.

Jesus, Ruben.

What happened?

Nothing. It was HR bullshit.

My fucking supervisor was pressing me
and I lashed out. It wasn't even that bad.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Just put him up against the wall,
threatened to kill his family.

I was gone within a week.

I don't understand. A year ago,
you were lending me money.

Yeah, well, I maxed out
a ton of credit cards keeping it up.

What?

- And you did that for me?
- I did that for everyone.

Why?

Because I liked it.

I like being the provider.

I knew my place in the world.

So, that's why you've been
asking for it all back?

You can't keep doing this though.

- You need to declare bankruptcy.
- Nah, fuck that.

Men don't declare bankruptcy.
Don't be ridiculous.

I just need to find a new job.

But it's hard.

Prison sentence and all that.

I mean, come on.

What kind of man would I be

if on top of not being able
to give her kids,

I couldn't pay the mortgage as well?

And you know
the worst part about all this?

You were totally right.

You said back in that hospital
that I'd fuck it up.

And I did.

So, you can have your popcorn, Niall.

I hope it tastes sweet.

Well, it doesn't, Ruben.
I can assure you that.

She can't find out, son.

She can't find out.

But, Ruben, you surely
can't do this forever.

She's not worth this.
She's not worth a lifetime of debt.

She is, mate.

She's worth that and more
and everything in between.

Listen to me.

All right? I'm begging you.

Don't say a word.
Not to her, not to anyone.

Look, please, brother.

Do this for me.

You won't tell anyone, will you?

No.

Of course.

For all that we've been through,

I still trust you more than anyone.

Hi, honey.

Come in.

What's your excuse this time?

I was with a male prostitute.

Any good?

No.

Not really.

Couldn't relax.

Did you cum?

Yeah, but I...

you know...

wasn't relaxed.

I can't even.

What is it?

Can we sit down?

- I need to talk to you about something.
- It's late.

Let's go in here.

You know something.

- What do you mean?
- You know something.

I turned on my phone.

Got your voicemail.

Something happened when I was gone.

Something to do with Benji.

Oh, no. I...

got the wrong end of the stick.

You know I have other means
of getting it out of you.

It's in your head.

I swear.

No.

Someone's changed her.

I can feel it in the space between us.

She's off somehow.

There's no proof, Ruben.

I went back home before I came here.

I found my dressing gown

on the floor in my office.

It smelled of someone else.

I couldn't place it.

Well, I don't know the extent of it.

- Motherfucker!
- Wait, I didn't say anything!

Ruben, you didn't let me finish!

- I didn't need to!
- Wait.

- Fucking hell!
- Ruben! Ruben, wait!

The address! I need the fucking address!

- Wait, what? Which address?
- Well, for fucking Benji!

- Ruben's on his way there now!
- Oh my God! Oh my God!

- Okay, it's Blanchard Street, 16.
- Okay.

Okay. Fuck!