All language subtitles for The.Last.Drive-In.with.Joe.Bob.Briggs.S38E02.I.Spit.on.Your.Grave.Censored.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BFM_track3_[eng]

-The only time I ever set foot

inside the Academy of Motion
Picture Arts and Sciences,

I was about as welcome as
a porcupine at a nudist colony,

but I didn't mind
because what they were doing

in there was about as exciting
as a mashed-potato sandwich.

-♪ Hey, everybody,
have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in,
hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies,
so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties,
boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time
with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with
the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

-The operative word tonight,
ladies and gentlemen,

is "transgressive."

-Whoo! Good word.

-And I see you're ready
for "Joe Bob's Savage Summer,"

because you have the "Camp
Trigger Warning" T-shirt.

-I do.
-Something shirt.

-It's the uniform.

It's gonna be one big night
of nonstop trigger warnings,

so just so you're warned.
-Okay.

Well, okay,
we see that trigger warning.

We're gonna watch
a transgressive movie.

Now, the reason I'm calling
it a transgressive movie

is so I don't have to call
it a cheap exploitation flick

that every critic in America
hated so much

that it was banned
all over the world.

And two famous critics
in Chicago

actually went to the trouble
to stand in front of theaters

and warn people not to go inside

until it became a symbol
of the glorification

of violence against women,

or, to once again use
the preferred terms,

a misogynist abomination.

The reaction to this movie
was so vicious

that it destroyed the career
of the director.

So, I'm going to use
another technical term here

to describe this outpouring
of cultural disgust.

And that precise term
would be... "bullshit."

-Hell, yeah.

-The movie is
"I Spit on Your Grave,"

and I've been trying to...
-Whoo!

-Yeah, I've been trying to get
it on broadcast TV, cable TV,

streaming for the past 40 years,

I kid you not,
without any success whatsoever

until tonight!
-Yes!

-They turned me
down at The Movie Channel.

They turned me down at Showtime.
They turned me down at TNT.

And they turned me down at
Shudder until earlier this year,

when they took pity on me

because I was doing
my final shows

and they went,
"Oh, what the hell?"

-Whoo!

-Not that we still didn't have
our little discussion

that starts out,

"Well, what exactly are you
going to say about the movie?"

In other words,

it's probably the most notorious
horror flick ever made,

surpassing even
"Cannibal Holocaust."

And we were just barely able
to get that one on the air

because of the animal abuse.

-Our audience will
not tolerate that.

-But they will tolerate
the torture,

mutilation, and killing
of human beings.

-Yeah, we will.

-And so, I think most people
who hate this movie

are haters of all horror.

I mean, we never really directly
address the horror haters

in the world on this show.

We assume you wouldn't be here
unless you love horror.

But "I Spit on Your Grave"
checks every single box

for people who say,
"I love movies,

but I hate horror," and
I've actually charted those.

-You have charts? What?!

-Bring out my chart.
Bring out my chart of that.

I have a single chart listing

all the viewpoints
of horror snobs.

-That's all they deserve.
-Mm-hmm.

-Yes, one measly chart...
-One puny chart.

-...for the horror snobs.

Numero uno, horror is "crude,
sensational, and cheap."

This movie is definitely crude,
sensational, and cheap.

What's your reaction
to that one, Darcy?

-Uh, well, I feel
like it's just people who watch

inspirational romantic comedies
with a life lesson at the end.

-Exactly.
That's who says that.

-Yes.
-Hallmark...

"Forrest Gump"
"Princess diaries."

You know.
-Uh...

-"Paddington the Bear,"
you know.

-You mean Paddington
out of this, sir.

-Well--
-No!

-You know, where the message is,

"Be nice to people, and
the world will be wonderful."

Fuck you! All right.

Numero two-oh, horror
is "just violence and gore."

Darcy, your response to
the violence-and-gore critique?

-Oh, man,
I love violence and gore.

So...what? What's the problem?

-All right, well,
I wonder if the same people

who condemn movies
like this one

also condemn
"Saving Private Ryan" --

limbs blown off, exposed organs,
prolonged death scenes.

Or "Apocalypse Now" --
mass death as spectacle.

-That's a good point.

-Or "A Clockwork Orange" --
sexual sadism.

Or "Braveheart" --
disembowelment,

limbs hacked off.

Or "Gladiator" -- impalements,
decapitations, blood sprays.

Or the all-time body-count
winner is "Total Recall."

Or "Casino," head smashed
in a vice,

slots manager
fired for no reason.

-We get it.
Were you in "Casino," Joe Bob?

Oh, my God.

First time I'm hearing this.

-All right,

so we're about to watch a movie
full of violence and gore,

so check that box.

Numero three-oh,
Horror is "morally corrupting."

It desensitizes people
to cruelty and violence.

It causes crime.

Well, if this is true,

you should put handcuffs on me
right now,

just for the sheer volume
of horror that I've watched.

-Same.
-People who believe this

are especially troubled by
violence interacting with sex.

So, welcome to your
perfect nightmare, people.

And, by the way,
if you want an esteemed critic

who advocated violence and gore,
here's one...

Aristotle.

What did Aristotle say that
you need for your story to work?

-Something in Greek?

-Yes! Pity and terror.
-Ah, yeah.

-Gore creates pity.
Violence creates terror.

-Okay.
-So, I'll be lecturing on this

at Chico State University.
Anyway...

-Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Didn't you say that's
the number-one party school?

-No, the number-one party
school is Northern Arizona.

But Chico State is
always in the top ten.

So, numero four-oh --
horror is "just escapism."

Has no real meaning.

-Uh, did we move on
from Aristotle?

-Yes,
we moved on from Aristotle.

-Okay, sorry.

-Horror makes you identify
with the character

through pity and terror --

so, we haven't really moved
on from Aristotle.

-Yes.
-More than any other genre.

But yes,
now we're done with Aristotle.

-Okay.

-You know, people who say,
"Horror is just escapism.

It's shallow."

Listen to any Jeff Goldblum
speech in "The Fly"

and say that it's shallow.

Watch "Get Out" and say
that there's no meaning,

you know, to horror.
Watch "They Live."

And then we'll talk about horror

and its relationship
with the real world.

Horror is actually one of the
most socially responsive genres

there is,

because it changes much faster
than any other genre.

If the culture gets fearful
about anything --

Vietnam, AIDS, 9/11,
the nuclear bomb --

horror covers it first, right?

The other genres
have to catch up to horror.

There was a Jodie Foster movie
called "The Accused"

that has many
of the same elements

tonight's movie has
dealing with the same issues,

only it came out
ten years later!

All right, numero five is...oh.

You know, there's nothing...

There's nothing I dislike more
than a half-assed chart.

Number five-oh is
"cheap tricks."

I'm just going to write it
on here.

"Cheap tricks."

That's what people say
horror is, you know.

It's jump scares.
It's loud noises.

It's shock effects.

So, yeah,
horror is the only genre

that attempts to make your body
convulse in one way or another.

Do I even need to ask you what
you think about this one, Darcy?

-Oh, I
want
the movie
to mess with me.

-Of course.
And so do we all.

And tonight's movie
messes with people so much

that they walk out
of the theater.

And that's another paradox.

A pure horror director regards
people leaving the theater

in disgust as a compliment.

Horror is a sensory genre.
If manipulating sight and sound

to create an actual
physical reaction is cheap,

then why are the people
paid so much who can do it?

Numero six-oh,
"the characters are stupid."

"I'd never make
those decisions."

People acting out of fear,
panic, confusion,

disorientation --
horror characters behave exactly

like all people do
in emergencies.

Do action stars or people
in romance movies

ever make implausible decisions?

Of course not,
because they're not human.

If everybody in a horror movie
is hyper-competent,

the audience will complain.

They'll say it's not scary.
-Plus, sometimes

that implausible decision is
what actually saves them.

-True. Exactly.

Numero seven-oh,
horror is "formulaic."

It's just the same tropes
over and over.

Because, of course,

no other genre has tropes, like
passionate courtroom speeches,

like shootout scenes,
like meet cutes and rom-coms.

-No, I hate those.

-Yeah, like when his grocery
cart bumps into her grocery cart

and her yogurt parfait
spills onto the floor,

and they fall in love.
-Ugh! Disgusting.

-Horror is actually
the most experimental genre

as it changes in response
to new fears and anxieties

in the culture.

The slasher,
the haunted house,

the possession story --
these are such lasting tropes

that they're more like myth
or ritual.

They can be twisted and expanded
and reshaped endlessly.

And horror-snob criticism.

numero eight-oh
is horror is "not art."

It's mindless.

Now, this one -- the critics
won't actually say this.

It's not something
the critic will actually say.

He'll be praising
a horror movie,

and then he'll say, "This movie
transcends the genre,"

meaning all the other
horror movies are trash,

but this one has merit.

So, thank you, Mr. Gatekeeper,
for assigning transcendence.

I would actually say
the opposite.

Horror is the only genre

that uses the full palette
of what film can do.

A director can't do the job
with just a good story

and competent cinematography.
He needs to manage the mood,

the atmosphere, the rhythm,
and definitely the sound design

before he can pull off even
the simplest of jump scares.

Horror requires the full screen,
the full soundtrack,

the management
of every cinematic detail,

unlike, say,
the kind of movie

that usually wins the Academy
Award, like "Ordinary People."

Won the Academy Award --
interior, verbal,

tasteful, restrained,
no body parts,

came from a serious novel.

That movie got Best Picture in
1980, beating out "Raging Bull,"

which was pure cinema
with horror elements

in "Raging Bull."

"Chariots of Fire" won one year,
"Driving Miss Daisy."

Should I go on?
-No.

-Who cares about sound design
or atmosphere on those movies?

They're literary.
They're dialogue driven.

They don't need to transcend
the genre.

You're already expected
to like them

because they're serious as fuck.
Darcy?

-Agreed.
-All right.

So, we're going to show
a movie now

that is part of the most
despised genre -- rape revenge.

Rape revenge.

The original title was
"Day of the Woman,"

and it bombed
as "Day of the Woman."

So, two years later,

it was rereleased
as "I Spit on Your Grave."

And that's when the chaos began.

We're still talking about it
48 years later.

You like this movie, right,
Darcy?

-I love this movie.

-Well, we're in the minority
because...

And I gotta tell this.
-Please do.

-In 2003, I got a phone call

from a guy named
Vinny Bancalari,

who was the owner
of a DVD company called

Elite Entertainment.

And his first question was,

"Are you that guy who likes
'I Spit on Your Grave'?"

And I said, "You found him."

And he said,

"Would you be willing to do
a commentary track for the DVD?"

And I said, "Well, I've
never done a commentary track.

I don't know what that entails."

And Vinny said, "I'll give you
a thousand bucks."

And I said, "Sure, I'll do
a commentary track, but why me?"

And he said,

"Because I think you're
the only critic

who didn't hate that movie."

And a week later,

he gave me the address
of a recording studio

in Midtown Manhattan,

and waiting at the door
was this other Italian guy

who handed me an envelope
with ten $100 bills inside,

and I laid down the commentary
track on "I Spit on Your Grave."

But tonight, we don't just have
my commentary.

We have a much more
well-informed expert

on the shooting, reception,
and history of the film,

and that would be
Camille Keaton.

-Whoo!

-The beautiful star
of the movie.

And I'll be bringing her out
when we get to the key moments

that everyone is curious about.

-I love Camille so much.

-Everybody who knows Camille
loves Camille.

Well, I guess everybody
except the movie critics

who call the movie despicable.

So, the reason
I got this big banner here

with the word "transgressive"
on it

is that when
Vinny Bancalari called me,

he didn't use the word
"transgressive."

I didn't hear the word
"transgressive"

until much later.

And it was always
from university professors,

and they were always
quoting French philosophers

when they used it, and I finally
figured out what it means.

What it means is "This movie
made me uncomfortable.

And in order
to not be embarrassed

by my interest in it,

I want my discomfort
to sound important."

Got it?

So, we're showing this movie
because it's "transgressive,"

and that means
smart people can watch it.

And one more thing
before we start.

I've been asked
to warn the audience.

The movie does contain graphic
scenes that might be traumatic.

So, if you're not sure
about that, don't watch it.

Are you ready for this, Darcy?

-I am so ready.

-"I Spit on Your Grave"
is the sensitive story

of a free-spirited
New York City professional woman

who rents a remote cabin
in rural Connecticut

so she can work on her novel

before rednecks decide
she doesn't deserve the peace

and quiet that she seeks,
if you know what I mean.

And I think you do.
-We do.

-Pretty soon,
she's praying to God

to forgive her
for what she's about to do.

And then she turns into
a female Charles Bronson.

Sure, we've seen it before,

but have we seen it
with involuntary penis removal?

I think not.

So, let's look at those "Drive-
In" totals and get started.

We have ten breasts,
four dead bodies,

outboard motor to the chest,
axe to the back,

hanging, underwater
whangdoodle removal,

fishing-boat harassment,
two chases through the woods,

one fake stabbing,

levels of assault
undreamed of by the MPAA,

topless sunbathing,
nekid skinny-dipping,

extended victim blaming,

traumatized staggering
through the woods,

revenge plotting, with stalking.

Stripping at gunpoint,

gratuitous mumbledy-peg,

gratuitous novel writing,
gazebos roll.

rope fu, axe fu, outboard fu,

bathtub fu, revenge ru.

"Drive-In"
Academy Award nominations

for Richard Pace as Matthew,
who says, "Why me?

I didn't even come."

Anthony Nichols as Stanley,

whose most sophisticated line
is, "Suck it, bitch."

Gunter Kleemann as Andy.

Eron Tabor as Johnny, who says,
"It won't stop bleeding."

Camille Keaton as Jennifer,
who says,

"Come on,
and I'll give you a hot bath."

And, of course,

Meir Zarchi,
the writer-director,

for enduring 48 years of abuse
for the sake of his art.

Four stars.
Joe Bob says, "Check it out."

Oh, yeah.
And do we have the poster?

-I'll put it up.
I'll put it up.

-Give me the poster.
-I'll show it. I'll show it.

-What do you mean?

Show me the poster.

-He's going to put it up, man.

-Okay, put up the poster.
-They see the poster.

-The poster for this movie
became as notorious

as the movie itself.

"This woman has just cut,
chopped,

broken, and burned five men
beyond recognition.

But no jury in America
would ever convict her."

-Oh, it's so good!

And that is Demi Moore's ass.
-Yes, we now know,

and she has admitted,
that the girl on the poster

is not Camille Keaton,
the star of the movie,

but part-time model Demi Moore
before she was famous.

The distributor of the picture
just liked her butt.

And actually she only kills
four men,

but they don't call them
exploitation movies for nothing,

right?

-In the remake,
though, she does kill five men.

-Yes, they had to live up
to the promise of the poster.

Thirty-two years later,
they lived up to it.

They added
that great sheriff character.

-Oh, God, he's the worst,
but the best.

But, like, the worst.

But two of my friends,
they're in that movie.

They play the rapists.

-Wow. What?
-Hi, Chad and Jeff.

-What are their names?
-Chad and Jeff.

They did great.

-40% of the rapists
in the movie

are acquaintances of yours?
-Yes.

And trust.

They have mixed emotions
about the movie.

-I can imagine.
-Yeah.

It's like the guy
who starred in "Rawhead Rex"

becoming known as the guy
who tried to rape Edith Bunker.

You don't really put
that on your résumé, you know?

"Hey, are you that guy who...?"
"Nope. That's not me.

I don't know what
you're talking about."

-For the record,
I feel they should be proud.

But I think the ones in the
original movie used fake names.

-True.
They did use fake names.

They had a chance
to be associated

with a timeless classic,
and they passed on that chance.

-I spit on your movie.

-Yes. Shame on them.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.
Have a nice day, ma'am.

-Hi.

-...please.

-Fill it?
-Yeah.

-How far is Park Hill Lane
from here?

-It's about half a mile
down the road.

-You got it?

-Ah, you missed.
-Playing it safe, huh?

Are you ready for this one?

-Ah, missed.

-You're not gonna
tell me you got that.

-It's good. It's good.

-Ah. Man. You don't even know
how to play the game.

-There it is.
-I have to show you everything.

-Feels good
to stretch my legs.

I've been driving
for three straight hours.

-You came to a nice place.

-I've rented
a summer house here,

right by the edge of the river.

I've never even seen it before.

-Bet you're gonna like it here.
-I intend to.

-In fact, I bet you're
gonna like it so well,

you stay year round.

-Oh, no.
Just for the summer.

-Yeah?

-I'll tell you what.
I'll let you go first.

-Ah. I got the game.

-That'll be $5.20.

-Alright. Alright. Start over.

-Okay. Five. And 20.

-Thanks.

Have a nice summer.
-I will. You too.

-Okay.

-Your order, ma'am!
-Hi.

I thought you'd
never find the place.

-I've been here before.
-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah, I delivered to
the tenant here last summer.

I know this whole area
like them squirrels here.

-How much do I owe you?

-$11.25.

-Where I come from,
people aren't that enthusiastic

about their place.

-Where's that?
New York City?

-Mm-hmm.

-You come from an evil place.
-You don't say!

Here's a tip
from an evil New Yorker.

-I never got a tip
like that before!

-What's your name?

-Matthew Lucas.
What's yours?

-Jennifer.
You can call me Jenny.

-Hi, Jenny.
Do you live here alone?

-All alone with Mary Selby.

-Mary? Mary? Is she in there?

-Mary's right here.

She's a fictional name.

She's the leading character in
a story I'm going to write here.

-Oh, are you a writer?!
-Mm-hmm.

-And you're gonna
write a book here?!

-My first novel.

I've written many short stories.

-You must be famous.
What's your last name?

-Hills.

It's okay if you've
never heard of me.

All my stories were published
in women's magazines.

-I don't read them.

-Here.
-Thanks.

You got a boyfriend?

-I have many boyfriends.

-Could I be your friend?

-Sure.

-Nice having you here.

Just call me,
and I'll be here super fast.

-Bye!
-Bye, Matthew.

Watch out!

-Hey. Look who's coming.

-Hey, guys! There's a new chick
on the Housatonic!

-Yeah, she stopped here
this morning.

-I saw her tits! I really did!
-Yeah?

-You guys want
to go to the movies?

-I've seen what's playing twice.

-Bowling?
-You're boring.

-Do you have
anything better to offer?

-Hmm.

-Come on. Let's go.

-What is it?

-Whoo! I got another one!
I got another one!

-Shut up, will ya?
You're gonna scare 'em away!

You're gonna scare 'em away!

-Hey! Bring the pail, Matthew!

You feeling good, Matthew, baby?

-Yeah. Almost like
a...sensation...

-He can't tell the difference.

-You know...

sometimes I look at these
gorgeous-looking chicks...

I mean, the ones
that look like real knockouts.

Sexy and all.

-I got another one!
I got another one! Yo!

-Stanley, can I have one fish?

-God damn it, Matthew.
Can't you just...

-Don't yell at me, Stanley.

I don't like it when people
yell at me for no reason at all.

-Yeah...
stuff it in your mouth.

-You're very rude, Stanley.

-Oh, you...me Stanley.
Sounds like a...virgin.

-He is.

-Yeah, but he's not
gonna stay one for long.

We're gonna fix him up
with a broad.

Hey, Matthew! What do you say?!

-You're interrupting
my concentration.

-A broad, Matthew! A broad!

-Broads don't turn him on.

-Yes, they do!
But not all broads.

Only the special ones.

-Well, what's a special broad,
Matthew?

-Miss Hill.
Miss Hill is special.

-He means that broad
from New York.

-Aww, he got
a peek at her tits,

and already she's special.

-She's special! She also
gave me a dollar for a tip!

-New York broads
are all loaded, Matthew.

-Yeah, one day I'm gonna
go to New York...

-I'm gonna do the same
in California.

-Why California?

-Sunset Strip is just swarmed
with chicks looking to get laid.

-He wants to go to Hollywood

and become another movie star,
another Robert Redford.

-There's only one
Robert Redford.

-Did I say I want to be
Robert Redford?

Yeah.

I mean, chicks come
from all over the country,

and they go to the village
for one reason.

And that's to get laid.

-Chapter eight. Page one.

"Finally...

after weeks of self-doubt...

and much deliberation...

she embarked...

on a temporary
leave of absence...

...from everything...

...that..."

...formed

the fabric of her life.

The big city.

Her job.

Her friends."

Whoo!

-Hello, there!

-Hey!
-Hey! Hello!

-Hiya, there!

-"Her hectic...

daily schedule.

Restless days.

Sleepless nights."

-Okay, guys, here's what we're
going to decide while we watch

"I Spit...on Your Grave."

That's the way you have to say
it to imitate the trailer.

"I Spit...on Your Grave."

What we're going to decide
while we watch this movie is,

is this the
most disgusting movie ever made?

Which is what Siskel and Ebert

said on their PBS show
"Sneak Previews."

Or is it the most feminist movie
ever made?

One thing you will notice
is that they use no music

in this film,

and I like that because it
kind of makes it creepy,

even from the beginning.

Everything looks so lush
and green.

The state of Connecticut
could have used this part

of the movie in a tourism film.

In fact, you know what else
was filmed in Kent, Connecticut?

-What?
-"Friday the 13th Part 2."

-Yeah.
That's weird, though,

because the Jersey locations for
the original are really iconic.

-I think Sean Cunningham lived
in Connecticut or something.

-Oh, well, that makes sense,
then.

-But as you can see,
it starts out in New York City

and not only New York City,

but one of the most expensive
neighborhoods in New York City,

Sutton Place,

where they have a doorman,
who gets tipped by Jennifer,

indicating she's not only
a magazine writer,

she's a very successful woman,

even though she's driving
that dinky car.

And that scene
in the generic gas station,

where they haven't changed
their pumps since 1930,

was, believe it or not,
criticized by feminists

because they said
Jennifer was a slut,

or she was portrayed as a slut.

One of the feminist critics

said Jennifer was flaunting
her sexuality

in front of those lowlifes
playing mumblety-peg

and walking around
showing off her legs.

I couldn't even see her legs
that well. Could you, Darcy?

-Oh, there was
not a lot of flaunting going on.

-So, the critics said

that she shouldn't be prancing
around in those stiletto heels,

but, hell, you drive
three hours in stiletto heels,

you're going to want to get out
and pace, you know?

Anyway, I don't know why
the feminists zero in on that.

I don't think she's dressed

in any
particularly provocative way.

Her hair is up, her dress is
knee length, fairly normal.

And I don't get
their argument, anyway,

because even
if she was wearing a bikini,

would that be a reason
to mess with her?

So, it seems like they
should be arguing the opposite,

that her clothing has nothing
to do with anything.

And then,
when she gets to the cabin,

we get the part showing
what a free spirit she is.

She doesn't need men
because, after all,

who rents a vacation house
for the whole summer

and stays alone in it?

But this is no ordinary woman.

As soon as she gets there,
what does she need to do?

She needs to get naked,

because who could resist
the placid beauty

of the Housatonic River?

But look at the way we see
her skinny-dipping, though.

If Meir Zarchi was making
a sleaze film

told from the point of view
of the leering male gaze,

which is what he's been accused
of, what would he do right here?

He would show every
bead of water on her breast.

He would probably have her do
the backstroke in close-up.

Instead, what does he do?

The longest shot
of all long shots.

She becomes a little microscopic
speck in the distance.

People would have seen this
and thought,

"What a cool gal she is.
No hang-ups."

And then she transforms
into a babe

when she puts on those cutoff
jeans and the bare midriff.

No bra, long, long hair --

obviously a woman comfortable
with her body.

And yet she's domestic.

She packs all her stuff
neatly into drawers,

which is how she finds the gun.

The gun is there, I guess,
to establish that she is armed.

You know?

But don't you hate
when that happens?

When the tenant from last year
leaves his firearm behind?

I always hate that.

But then there's
that insistent knock.

The evil residing
in Kent, Connecticut,

can't wait to get at her.

The geeky guy In the horn-rimmed
glasses, Matthew.

He's an actor named
Richard Pace,

and this was the first in a
series of one role for Richard.

He's kind of a standard country
bumpkin who's a little slow.

And, you know,
New York is an evil place.

We're setting up
the difference between people

who live in the city and people
who live in the country.

And, of course,

we're also establishing
that the reason

she's alone
is that she's an author working

on her first novel, and she
writes for women's magazines.

How much more feminist
can you get?

She's a woman who writes stories
that other women like.

So, here's where she makes
her first mistake, though.

"I have many boyfriends,"
Matthew.

Eh. Wrong thing to say to a
geek with an apple in his mouth.

Next, we get introduced
to the local male scum.

Now, in a rape-revenge movie,

all males are bad, and
the rapists tend to be rural,

uneducated guys with
too much time on their hands.

Notice the guys have
three choices as to

how they're going to hang out.

"Well, we go to a movie,"

but there's only one
movie theater in town.

They've already seen
that one movie twice.

"We can go bowling,"
or what they eventually decide,

to aimlessly wander
down the road.

So, where do they end up?
Night fishing,

hauling very small fish
out of the Housatonic

while one guy plays harmonica.

Harmonicas and banjos

are always bad news in the
woods, ever since "Deliverance."

So, the fishing scene,

where Matthew sits
in the bushes relieving himself,

is where we find out
all their opinions about women.

All New York broads are loaded.

All broads from New York
and California love to have sex.

The only reason a woman would
live in California or New York

is to have as much sex
as possible.

So, anyway,

that scene establishes the
inciting incident of the movie,

which is the plan
to get Matthew laid

so that he will lose
his virginity.

But I don't think it's possible
to watch the fishing scene

and identify with these guys.

It's not like you look
at Johnny and Stanley and Andy

and you say, "Hey, I
want to be just like those guys.

They make so much sense."

But Ebert and Siskel

said they were disturbed
by the fact

that the movie was told
from the male point of view.

And I mean, yeah, exactly.

It was told from
the brain-damaged male point

of view sometimes.

Look at the contrast

when we see Jennifer paddling
her canoe, at one with nature,

whereas we just saw these
four lowlifes collecting fish

that weren't much bigger
than guppies

like they were prized marlins,
right?

And the director uses
that noisy,

obnoxious outboard motor to mess
with her little, perfect world.

When she goes out on the river,
she uses a silent canoe.

When they go out on the river,
they mess up nature.

And then we get
those bird whistles.

Or would those be wolf whistles
or whatever?

And then the actual animal
sounds, wolf sounds, dog sounds.

All men are dogs in this movie.

And remember, the audience has
seen the poster and the trailer.

So, now it's getting tense.

It's only a matter of when,
when it's going to happen.

All right, Darcy,
we're 20 minutes in.

Is that a slow burn?

-Oh, not at all,

because you can feel
the tension in this one.

-All right.
Roll the movie. Go!

This movie had a lot
of alternate titles.

One of them was the "Rape
and Revenge of Jennifer Hill."

So, I mean, boy, literal.

That audience had absolutely
zero doubts

about where this story
was headed.

It was also released
as "I Hate your Guts."

"Day of the Woman"
was the original title.

"Blood Angel,"

and my favorite,
"Ich Spuck auf Dein Grab."

-Huh?

-These guys grabbed
her
ich spuck,
apparently.

She does look vulnerable
in her robe

and her bare feet.

But, you know,
you can't say she's a wimp

or a helpless woman.

She doesn't whimper or hide
or turn out all the lights.

She goes right outside,

checks those woods
when she hears a noise.

So she's no helpless female.

I keep pointing this out
because the reviews

that destroyed the movie
kept talking about

how helpless she was.

If she's helpless,

why is she staring at that
drawer that contains the gun?

-Exactly.

-Would you rent a cabin alone
for the whole summer?

-Maybe.

-Seems like she would get
bored, you know?

-But she has a lot
of boyfriends.

-Oh, yeah. Okay.
-She's good.

-You mean, like,
"You can come over,

but you have to
be gone by morning."

-Exactly.
-That's a brutal rule.

-I mean,
she's got work to do, man.

"Day of the Woman."

-Whoo! Hey! Whoo!

Whoo!
-Whoo-hoo!

-Whoo!
-Whoo!

-Go left! Go left!

Whoo! Yeah!

-Stop it! No!

-Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh!

Yee-ha!
-Whoo-hoo-hoo!

-What do you think
you're doing?!

-Hold it, Stanley!

Whoo!

-Whoo!

-Stop it, you jerks!

You idiots! Bastards!

-Stop it! Stop it, you jerks!

Stop it! Stop it!

Bastards!

-Look at her! Whoo!

-Yoo! Whoo!

-Andy, watch your head!
Whoo! Look at this ass.

-Come on, baby.
Come this way. Whoo!

-Whoa! She's a wild one.
-Whoo!

-Aah!
-Come here. Come here.

-Wow. Pretty lady.
Let me help you up.

-Get off!

-Bastards!
-Whoa!

-Hey, Andy, Stanley!
Come here.

-Stop it!
-Come on!

-I can't.
-Come on!

-Come on. Hold it tight.

-Stop it!

-Come on, Matthew.
Don't waste time.

-What more memorable image
in the whole movie

than the crumpled bikini
floating on the surface

of the Housatonic,

as that loud outboard motors
into the distance?

These are some cold,
primitive mothers.

You could have stopped
right here,

and it would be enough setup
for a Charles Bronson-style

revenge sequence.

But Meir Zarchi
wasn't satisfied.

He had to achieve the promise
of the poster, which was...

"And no jury in the world
would ever convict her."

So, these guys look at rape
as a recreational sport,

and the way they use wild
Indian yells and animal calls

indicates they think
of themselves as a wolf pack.

And several critics have noted
that that motorboat

that the two guys use
is a phallic symbol

because it has a raised prow.

-Which would be
actually very cute

in a different kind of movie.

-Yeah.
I have a question, though.

Do they really have hillbillies
in Connecticut?

I mean, I know they have
some little piddly hills,

but isn't Connecticut
the kind of place

where you you go there
to go to antique shops

and day spas and stuff?

-You're asking me about
antique shops in Connecticut?

-No, I'm asking you
about day spas in Connecticut.

-Oh, okay.

Well, in that case,
we should go and find out.

-As soon as they tow that
canoe to the shore with her

fighting them off
with the paddle,

the pace of the movie
just picks up enormously.

That chase through the woods
is pretty expertly filmed.

Meir Zarchi has been lingering
over every shot,

but now it's wild and woolly,
with a lot of fast cutting.

He still doesn't use
many close-ups, though.

There's always a debate about
whether this is told

from the point of view
of the woman or the rapists.

I think it is pretty clearly
told from her point of view.

The whole scene started with
her sunbathing in the canoe,

but maybe
what's disturbing about it

is that it's filmed
like a documentary.

It doesn't really have
any point of view.

It's just,
"Here's what happens next."

And then when she runs
into Johnny,

we get the full picture.

The whole thing was
like a fox hunt,

and they were driving her
to the place

where the dogs are
going to rip the fox apart.

And so he rips off her bikini
like he's skinning an animal.

Nothing erotic at all
about any of it.

So, it's hard to understand
the Siskel and Ebert comments.

They crusaded against this film.

I got to tell you
what Roger Ebert said about it.

He said, "'I Spit on Your Grave'
as a vile bag of garbage,

a movie so sick,
reprehensible, and contemptible

that attending it

was one of the most depressing
experiences of my life.

This is a film without
a shred of artistic distinction.

It lacks
even simple craftsmanship.

I do not often attribute motives
to audience members,

nor do I try to read
their minds.

But the people
who were sitting around me

were vicarious sex criminals."
-Wow!

-"At the film's end,

I walked out of the theater
quickly, feeling unclean,

ashamed, and depressed."
-Got it.

"There is no reason
to see this movie

except to be entertained by the
sight of sadism and suffering."

But here's my question about
Roger's analysis of the rape.

First of all, look how
she continually fights him off.

The only reason they get her
is it's four against one.

Even Charles Bronson gets beat
up when it's four against one.

And then here's my question
about the rape by Johnny.

If Susan Brownmiller,
Andrea Dworkin,

all these feminists,
Gloria Steinem,

all tried to come up with their
version of the nature of rape,

wouldn't it look something
exactly like that?

No sexuality at all, just
completely oppressive violence

of a man against a woman?

That scene was later cited
as an example of

when the audience took the side
of the rapists against Jennifer.

I don't believe that.

First of all,
we get both points of view.

We see his face in close-up.

We see her face in close-up,
and it's not a pretty sight.

If you wanted to
somehow make this erotic,

which would be damn hard to do,
the first thing you would do

is not make her so dirty
and bloody.

And the second thing
you would do

is show her body instead of just
showing the guy's ugly buttocks.

I don't think
there's any question

of sympathizing with the gang
rapers right here.

Siskel and Ebert
said they went to some screening

where some guys were
yelling stuff at the screen

that made them think
they were encouraging the rape.

Well, guys yell all kinds
of stuff at the screen

to make it seem like
the scene is not affecting them.

If they were yelling,
it's probably

because the scene was
too dang intense.

In fact, this whole movie
was inspired by a real incident

in October 1974,

where Meir Zarchi witnessed
the aftermath of a real rape.

So, he knew that the victim
does look that dirty and bruised

and beat up after a rape.

And then he drives
the point home

by having all the guys stunned
after it's over.

This is actually
what makes me think

they had never done this before.

The only guy who laughs
is Johnny,

and that's probably to keep the
other guys from turning on him.

It wasn't exactly the joyride
they expected, was it?

Now, before we go back
to the movie,

I'm going to go
to the big question.

How guilty is Matthew?
-Mm.

-He does hold her leg
while Johnny rapes her.

And when they keep
egging him on to rape her again,

even as she's crawling away
and sobbing,

he kind of wants to do it.

You can see on his face
he's conflicted.

Matthew does seem like the one

who has actual feelings
for Jennifer,

but, then again, he's also
the mentally challenged man-boy.

It's interesting the way
they put it to him, though.

They say, "You want to be a man,
don't you?"

And yeah, he wants to be a man.

And being a man in this movie
means being a rapist.

It's a very anti-male movie.

The whole universe of males in
this movie is totally depraved.

And then Zarchi does
the whole section

where she's stumbling
through the woods,

trying to find her way back
to her cabin.

And the first time I watched it,

I thought, "She's going back
to get that gun."

But whatever you think
about this part,

it's obviously her point
of view.

And from this point forward,

the whole movie is told
from the woman's point of view

and kind of the view
of the woods,

as though she's been trapped
in this male universe

that she can't get out of.

And then she hears something.

She hears that harmonica.
and you go, "Uh-oh.

you mean there's more?"

I mean, it crosses your mind

that maybe they would rape
her again,

but then they let her go
and you think, "Well, nah,

even those Neanderthals
couldn't take any more of that."

And then we get
a rape scene even more intense

than the first one.

And if the first rape
didn't make you realize

that this is a horror film,
the second one certainly would.

I don't think the second scene
makes you think anything

except castrate
these guys, really, soon,

but our sadistic
writer-director Meir Zarchi

is not quite finished
stoking the outrage.

Back to the movie.

Trigger warning.
Roll it.

I guess you can see

why this movie was
a résumé killer, though.

None of these four actors
ever made another movie.

And I actually don't think
they're bad actors.

In fact,
the actor playing Johnny,

he became one of
the most famous teachers

at the Neighborhood Playhouse
in New York,

the birthplace
of the Meisner method of acting

and, to this day,

one of the top three or four
acting schools in the country.

But I guess when you're going
to casting calls in New York,

and your audition reel says
"rapist number one"

and "rapist number two,"

people are not real anxious
to hire you

for that next episode
of "The Love Boat."

Damn it!

-Aah!

-Come on. Get on with it.
Let's go.

-Bitch! You little whore!
-Okay, okay, okay!

Let's split!
-Come on, Stanley!

-Hey! Shut up! Wait a second!
-Hey! Come on, Stanley!

-Hey! Shut up!
Give me a second!

-Okay, okay! Hey, hey! Come on!

-Man, wait a minute.
We can't let her go.

We just can't let her go.

-Go where?
-Go, man. Go!

Matthew, I want you
to go back...okay?

It's real easy.

-Why are we doing this!
We got what we wanted!

-Come on. If she's dead,
she can't point a finger at us.

-Why me?! Why me?!
-Hey.

We're depending on you, okay?

-I'll show you how.

Come on. Come on.
Just take it like this.

You have it like this.

Just stab her. Once.
Nice and deep in the heart.

Okay? It'll all be over with.
It's real easy.

-Over here?
-No. Over here.

Right between the ribs.
Okay? So the knife is like that.

Plunge deep to the heart.
Alright?

Come on, now.
We're depending on you.

-You won't leave without me?

-We'll stay right here.
-You'll stay here?

-We're gonna stay here, Matthew.

-Don't go.
-Come on.

-Don't leave me.

Don't leave me.
-Matthew, we don't have all day.

Matthew. Come on. Go.

-Don't leave me!

Here. Here. Here.

-Here. Give me that.

Good boy, Matthew.

-Okay, for the record, the gang
rape is officially over.

It was actually
three gang rapes.

First, her capture and assault,

then the second time
she's waylaid

and brutally beaten
in the swamp.

And now the third time, and,
for my money, the worst time,

the humiliation stage.

You know, cheering for Matthew,
reading her book out loud,

the off-the-scale sadism
of Stanley, who says,

"That's what I like
in a woman, total submission"

as he uses that whiskey bottle
on her.

If we say that the rape sequence
started at the point

when Stanley and Andy

started bumping her canoe
with their speedboat,

then the rape itself
lasted 25 minutes and 14 seconds

of actual screen time,
which is...

That is pretty much the record
for a continuous on-screen rape,

and I would imagine
it's the reason

the movie got so much flak.

I mean, and you could say,

"Well, he didn't have to show
that much," you know,

but it's a revenge movie.

You have to show
how horrible it was,

or else
the revenge doesn't make sense.

I actually agree with --
I agree with the poster.

After you've seen this, no jury
in the world
would
convict her.

But you don't have
to listen to me about it,

because we have with us
tonight the woman

who suffered through
all those scenes.

We have Jennifer, and, you know,

the term "scream queen"
gets thrown around quite a bit.

And different people
mean different things

when they say it.

But the only thing
selling some of these scenes

in the first hour of
"I Spit on Your Grave"

is the screaming ability
of this woman,

because the screams are coming
from some genuine place.

And I've actually -- I have
never interviewed her before,

so I don't know what
she's going to say about it.

But please welcome
a great actress, Camille Keaton.

And welcome, Camille.

We have known each other
for years

because we sometimes
run into each other

at conventions and other events,

but I've never been
brave enough to ask you

about this particular movie.

We have just watched
you get absolutely brutalized

for the past half-hour
and raped in several ways

and humiliated and
slapped around and bloodied up

and dragged and kicked
and called names

they usually don't even allow
in movies.

So, I got to know,
what's going through your head

during this part of the movie
as you're filming this?

-Oh, quite a lot of things.

I was doing the best I could.
-Okay.

And did you get
physically injured at all?

-Uh, no. Not really.

I got a bruise or two,
some scratches.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

-And then this is
very interesting to me.

While you're getting sexually
assaulted every day for --

how many days does it take

to film all
those assault sequences?

-It was about a 30-day shoot.

We came in a day before.
We came in a day early.

-So, maybe ten of those days
are the actual rape?

-For sure.
-Yeah. Wow.

So while you're getting sexually
assaulted all that time,

the director of the movie is
falling in love with you, right?

-Seems so. Yeah.

-And are you falling in love
with him?

You must have at some point,

because the two of you
ended up getting married.

-Yeah, we became attached.

-Okay.

But when the movie came out and
it was reviled by the critics,

how did you feel
about the whole thing?

-Well, I didn't like that
they didn't like it, you know?

It hurt my feelings
a little bit.

-And how did Meir feel?

-Meir said, "Don't worry.

You know, this is some --
it's going to be okay."

It seems like he knew
for some reason.

-He thought it was going to be
okay because he thought

all the controversy
would result in ticket sales?

-Probably.

No, I don't know if he thought
that or knew that or not,

but that's what happened.

-Yeah? I want to review
just a little bit

before we go on with the movie,
but you're from Arkansas?

-Yes.

-From Eudora, Arkansas.
-Yes, sir.

-Okay.

I'm probably the first person
ever to interview you

who has actually been

to the little Mississippi Delta
town of Eudora.

So, then you moved to Atlanta
as a teenager,

and somehow between high school
and the age of 25,

you become one
of the go-to actresses

in Italian
giallo
films,

starting
with your very first film,

when you played the title role

in "What Have You Done
to Solange?" in 1972,

which was filmed in Rome
for director Massimo Dallamano?

I know one thing
you had going for you.

You were always one of the most
beautiful women in the world.

-Thank you, Joe Bob.

-Yeah, but I'm still interested
in what happens between Eudora,

Atlanta, and Rome.

What were you doing?

-I wasn't doing a whole
lot between Eudora and Atlanta.

Once I got to Atlanta,

you know,
I was in the eighth grade,

and they started high school
in Atlanta

in the eighth grade, at least
where I went to school.

And, so I started dating.

-Did you want to be a model
or an actress

or anything like that?

-I wanted to be a model.
Yeah.

I went to

what they called Patricia
Stevens Modeling School

-In Atlanta?
-Yeah.

-Okay.

-They were all over.
-All right.

-And then they later became
Bauder B-a-u-d-e-r College.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

-So, that was the place
you went

if you wanted to get into
the business?

-Well, I thought so.

-Okay.

-Well, I want to talk
about 1972.

1972 was a great year for you.

You were just the toast
of all the Italian directors.

You made "The Boxer"
for Francesco Prosperi

with Robert Blake
and Ernest Borgnine.

You made another
giallo
for Umberto Lenzi.

-What was his last name?

-Umberto Lenzi. "The Seven
Blood-Stained Orchids"?

-Oh, I remember that movie,
yeah, a little bit about.

-You don't remember him?

-No.
-Okay. All right.

-I mean, directors to me, you
know, they're just directors.

-They're part of the furniture.

-Yeah, right.

-Feel free to jump in
on any of these.

-You know?

-You worked for
the great Riccardo Freda...

-Yeah.
-...on "Tragic Ceremony."

You were sacrificed
on a demonic altar.

-I loved working on that film.

-Yeah?
You remember the demonic altar?

- Oh, yes.
- Okay.

We made it in Spain.

-Oh, okay.
I didn't know that part of it.

-And I loved being able
to travel to Spain.

-Okay. Well, Riccardo Freda
was one of the directors

right up there with Mario Bava
in that generation.

Then, the next year,
you had another major role

in "Sex of the Witch"
for Angelo Pannaccio.

-Yeah. Yeah.
-Was that a good movie?

-Yeah. It was okay. Yeah.
-Okay.

How was your Italian?

-I was learning it
as I went along.

-In all these Italian movies.

You starred in "Anatomy
of a Nightmare" in 1974

for Roberto Mauri?

-"Madeleine: Anatomia
di un Incubo."

"Anatomy of a Nightmare."
-Okay.

And talk about having
many boyfriends,

as you say in this movie.

-Oh, I had many boyfriends.

-In "Anatomy of a Nightmare" --

you sleep
with the whole male cast

in "Anatomy of a Nightmare,"
right?

-You know, you're right.

That's true.
I never thought of it.

-But was that fun?

-Was it fun?

-It was work.

-Okay. All right.

So, you were just always
around

that famous low-budget
Italian studio, the Palace?

You worked there a lot?

-I worked in Cinecittà.

-Oh, the big studio,
the famous studio.

-Well, I was a good swimmer.

Actually, before I got
parts in films,

I was doing
work as a double for actresses

that didn't know how to swim.

-Okay. By 19--

-And one of them
was in Cinecittà.

-Okay. And by 1974,
you were so famous in Italy

that you were on the cover
of
Playmen
magazine,

which the Italian version
of
Playboy.

Very popular magazine
at the time.

Right?
-Yeah.

-And so you made 8
or 10 movies in Italy.

You're getting jobs left
and right.

You're a sex symbol,
you're a star,

and suddenly you decide
to leave all that behind

and move to New York City?

-Uh-huh.
-Why?

-I just got homesick, and
I needed to go back for a while.

-Really?

-Yeah.
-You were the toast of Rome.

-I probably should have stayed.

-Okay. Okay.

Well, we're going to talk
a lot more about

how you met Meir Zarchi
and got involved with this.

-And I was in New York City --
excuse me -- for a while.

I went to New York City
and then out to L.A.

-Right.
-Yeah.

-Well,
you had to be in New York City

because they cast this movie
in New York City.

-Well, that's
where I met Meir, too.

-Yeah. We're at the midpoint
of the movie,

and it's time
for you to kick ass.

So, although right here is

where it starts to get a little
shaky plot-wise, I think,

because why would Johnny send
Matthew back to kill you,

when Matthew was the only guy
in the crew

who can't do anything right?

You know? Why not just let
Stanley kill Jennifer?

He was on the verge of finishing
the job when Johnny said,

"Let's get out of here."

So, he was certainly mad
enough to do it.

Once again, Johnny has --

Johnny keeps saying,
"We have no time."

Johnny has no extra time.

Why is Johnny always saying
"We have no time"?

Does he have an appointment down
at the pool hall or something?

And while Matthew is going
through his existential crisis

inside Jennifer's cabin,

why are the other three guys
waiting out in the boat?

They obviously enjoy
watching you suffer.

Why wouldn't this be
the ultimate spectator sport?

You know? At any rate,
they have to know --

they have to know that Matthew
is going to wimp out.

So, from here on out, this movie
belongs to you, Jennifer.

I mean, Camille.
So...so, roll the movie.

How did you --
let me ask you this.

How'd you get along
with Johnny and Matthew

and Andy and Stanley?

How did you all get along?

-Oh, we got along fine.
They were great.

Everybody that I worked
with on that film was really...

They were great people.
They really were.

-I know that the actor
who played Johnny said

that the male actors made
a pact

that because you
were going to be naked so much

that they would all agree
to be...

-Don't tell anybody.
-...equally naked.

-Too late now.

-All right.

A lot of this part in the middle

where you're turning from victim
Jennifer to vengeance Jennifer

is like a silent movie.

But I knew you meant business

when you put on
that black turtleneck.

You know,
that's the business Jennifer.

-Yeah.
-Although I missed the bikini.

Anyway, when you're gluing
the manuscript back together --

this is where you're doing
all your great acting --

something tells me
you're no longer writing

an autobiographical novel
about a free-spirited woman

finding herself in the country.

Something tells me
you just decided to compete

with Stephen King on next year's
best-seller list, right?

-Oh, thank you.

-And oh, I got to ask you this.

Gunter Kleemann, the guy
who rapes you on the rock,

whatever he's doing is so goofy

that if you turn off
the soundtrack

so that you can't hear
your screams,

it looks like he's just dancing
and rolling his eyes

and not even touching you.

So, your screams are the only
reason that the scene works,

because when I first
watched it with the screams,

I thought, "Oh my God,"
you know,

and then you turn off the sound
and, "Oh, he's kind of goofy."

-So...
-I didn't realize that.

-Okay. So, obviously --

-I'm gonna have to look at it
that way.

-Obviously,
he's not a method actor,

although, you know,

you may not want any method
actors in a rape-revenge movie,

if you know what I mean,
and I think you do, right?

-Wow.
-Okay.

-You know, I have
a little story about that.

-You do?
-I had Meir Zarchi,

the director of the film.

I had him show me
how to do that scene.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-What do you mean?
-I mean --

-You made him get on the rock?

-I did.
-Oh, wow.

-Yeah.
-You mean you made him

be you in the scene?

-Yeah.
-Okay. Why'd you do that?

Good job.

-Well, I had it been, like,
two weeks or so, two

and a half weeks,
maybe, maybe even longer,

and we were all
kind of over this, you know?

But I said, you show me
how to do that scene.

When I found out about it,
I said,

"I don't want to do that."

And, uh...

Anyway,
he showed me how to do it.

He -- He, um, took his clothes
off and until he got to,

you know, what do you call them?

Your skivvies or...
What's it called?

-Underwear.
-Underwear.

Underwear is a good word.

Yeah. I said,
"No, not that."

And so he went over there
to that.

Um, he was a real trooper
and he went over to the rock.

-So, he lay down
on the rock and...

-Uh-huh.
-...and let Gunter rape him?

-No, the other guys
weren't involved.

He rolled off the rock
and showed me how to do that.

-Oh, okay.

-I wasn't looking
forward to that.

-Okay, well, he was dedicated
to his craft, obviously.

-He was.
And, um...

So, and then I said,
"Okay, thank you.

And, uh, let's go.
Let's do it" You know?

-Okay.
-Because I had had enough.

-Well, you sold the rock scene.
-Yes, you did.

-I'll say that, you sold it.
-Thank you.

I -- It was a an effort
that we all contributed to.

-All right. Thanks.
Thanks for that story.

-Chocolate sundae for me, Suzie.

-Hot fudge, nuts, cherry on top?

-The town
is too peaceful lately.

I don't hear any exciting news.

-Mrs. Kane is getting a divorce.

She told me.

She said she's gonna
have to cut down on my tips.

-What else is new, Matthew?

-Nothing. That's the latest.

-You guys been riding
by her place lately?

-I suggested to Stan.
He refused.

-It might be a trap.
They might suspect us.

Since criminals always return
to the scene of the crime.

-They might be there
waiting for us.

-It's been two weeks, man.

Two 90-degree weeks.

Do you know what two weeks
like that does to a dead body?

-The body will decompose.

-Yeah, and it will poison
the air with a stench, Matthew,

that can be smelled for hundreds
and hundreds of yards around.

Tell me, Matthew.
Where did you stab her?

-Here, where you told me to.

-How deep?
-Deep. Real deep. This deep.

-Maybe she's really dead.

-Maybe she crawled
into somewhere

before she collapsed
and died, huh?

-It could be.

Maybe she went to the basement
where there's no air?

I stabbed her. I did.
There was blood all over.

I had to jump over the puddle!

-Here you are.

-Thanks.

-Go on, Matthew.
Eat your ice cream.

-I don't want it anymore.

-You better have it.

'Cause I want you to stay cool.

I'm gonna send you
on a mission, Matthew.

A very important mission.

-I can't. I can't!

I can't stand
to look at dead people!

Ask me anything, but not that!

-You killed one yourself!

-Hey, Stanley.

Come on. Stanley.

Hey. The beer's on me, huh?

Come on. Give me a smile.

One of your handsome
lady-killer smiles.

Attababy.

You and Stanley...

...are gonna go.

In the Marines,
we call it reconnaissance.

Okay?

You come back with me
to the station, okay?

Alright.

-Matthew, you idiot!
God damn you!

-No! No! No!

-Go on! Get out of here!

If I ever see you here again,
I'm gonna bust your ass!

-You little bastard.

-Goddamn imbecile!

-Forgive me.

Forgive me.

-I love this part.

The determined Jennifer driving
past a graveyard.

Can you say foreshadowing?

But it turns out the graveyard
is next door to a church,

so she's going to ask God for
permission to waste some scum.

And in the context
of this movie,

it's not that hard to imagine
God going, "Oh, what the hell?

Go ahead."
-That's true.

-You know, I don't think that's
doctrinally very accurate.

I don't think you're allowed
to go to church

and cross yourself and say,
"I'm about to cut,

chop, break and burn
five men beyond recognition,

and no jury in the world
would convict me.

But I'm kind of worried about
that whole afterlife thing.

Do you think you might give
me a free ride on this one?"

I don't think the Pope
would say okay to that one.

But, Darcy, your opinion?

-I think the Pope
would be cool with it.

-Okay.
-I think.

So, originally
this movie got an X rating.

Um, so to get an R,
they had to cut out 17 minutes,

and that cut the running time
from 98 down to 81 minutes.

But among the people
who hated this movie

were the Motion Picture
Association of America, MPAA.

When it was rereleased in 1984

by the Jerry Gross Organization
and Wizard Video,

They got sued by Jack Valenti

in the MPAA for using the R
rating on the 98 minute version,

but this is one of those movies

they just wanted
to go away forever.

So, Camille, do you think the
movie was unfairly singled out?

-You know, I kind of thought
it might have some trouble.

I was concerned about it.

-Okay. Even before it happened.
-Yeah.

-Do women write to you?

Do -- Do women look at you
as a gender warrior of any kind?

-Some do.
-Yeah?

-And others, uh,
the ones that don't,

uh, they don't talk to me,
so I wouldn't know,

but I hear about it.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-Remember that movie
"The Accused", which was --

it was a film made
based on a real life

gang rape in a bar room
in New Bedford, Massachusetts.

And Jodie Foster got
the Oscar for that role.

-That's right.
-And everybody talked about

how intense
the rape scene was

and how brave it was
to show it in all its brutality.

It has nothing on this movie.
-No.

-And Jodie Foster just barely
gets justice in that movie

through the weak, sluggish
legal system, where as Camille,

you just go,
"Okay, let's see how you like

your penis now, jerk."

You know?

-Oh, my God.
-Let me hand it to you.

-What about Matthew, though?

Uh, some people watch the movie,

and they think
that Matthew should get a pass

because he's mentally
challenged.

Do you agree?

-Yeah, in a way I do,

but I didn't write it.

And, uh...
-Yeah, I know.

-It wasn't my story
and I didn't have anything

to say about it, really.

I couldn't change that.
-Okay. All right.

Well, something about Matthew
wearing his tube socks

during the attempted rape
makes it even more horrifying,

and yet tells you something
about Matthew.

Matthew and the close
up of his face

as definitely a victim
point of view.

And then his, um, his whining
about not being able to come

and how he can't concentrate,

and how he doesn't like
to be watched.

And the ultimate insult, he
can't use his penis as a weapon.

And this is where
we find out that,

uh, Johnny was a US marine.

You know, kind of
a little anti-war message stuck

in the middle of the movie,

and he exerts military
discipline on his platoon

here in two ways.

He slaps the bajabbers out of
him, or he offers him free beer,

the only thing
that'll make him smile.

So, Camille, before
we go back to your masterpiece,

you have made 31 movies.

Did this movie hurt you
or help you?

-Uh...

I don't know,
to tell you the honest truth.

-Well,
I know you had a very --

You didn't act for a while
because you had

a very happy marriage
with Sid Luft.

-Yes, I did.
-The legendary

Hollywood producer.

Um, you were with him
to his death.

And so when you guys,
when you and Sid

were hanging out at parties
with the old Hollywood crowd,

you know, the friends
of Judy Garland or whatever.

-Yeah.
-Were people

aware of this movie?

Did people ask you
about this movie?

-No. For the most part,
they weren't aware of it.

-They didn't know it existed.

-And he had seen some
of the movie

and he said, "Okay,
that's enough."

He'd seen enough, and that was
before we got married.

-He didn't watch
the whole movie?

-No.
-He wasn't curious?

Okay.
Interesting.

-But I wanted him to know
that I had done this film.

And, um...
-So you told him, okay,

this film exists and people know
about it, and...

But it didn't come up
in your life with Sid?

-No.
-Okay.

And I know you and Meir
have stayed friends

all these decades,
because you've done

a couple of jobs for Meir.
And, um --

-And his children, too.
I adore Tammy and Terry.

-Yeah. And Tammy did the sequel
to the movie, right?

-Yeah.
Well, and Terry's done,

um, some things himself.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

He did, uh,
a documentary on me, I guess.

-On this movie and you.
-Yeah.

-And that official sequel
that came out in 2019, um...

-"I Spit on
Your Grave: Deja Vu."

-Here's my question about Meir.
You know --

You know Meir probably
as well as anybody in the world.

Did Meir Zarchi ever get over
the rejection of this movie?

-He never talked about it.

-Okay.
-No.

-So it wasn't
that big of a deal to him?

-I don't think so.
-Even though -- even though,

uh, it affected him.

Well, the movie's
about to get gnarly here.

And you had
no stunt people, right?

-Not that I know of.
-Yes.

-I was my own stunt person.

-Do you have any
martial arts training ever?

-No.
-Okay.

Well, somehow you were able to
lean into the time to kick ass

Jennifer part of the movie,
so big time.

And back to the movie role.

Roll the movie.

And, um, you know, I --
I always tell people this.

Ingmar Bergman made
a rape revenge movie in 1959.

Nobody picketed the theaters
when it was Ingmar Bergman.

Farmer's daughter gets raped
by three goons.

But I think the reason
it was not controversial

is that revenge was taken by the
girl's father, Max von Sydow,

not by the girl herself.

-I forgot the name
of the movie.

-"The Virgin Spring"
is the movie.

And then Wes Craven's first
movie, "Last House on the Left",

1972, two teenage girlfriends go
out for a night on the town.

They're going to --
they're going to go

see a band called bloodlust,

and a gang of vicious prison
escapees rape, kill,

and mutilate their bodies.

So obviously,
they can't take revenge.

But the prison escapees
make the mistake

of seeking refuge
in the house of their parents.

And mama takes care of business
in that -- in that movie.

Oddly enough,
that Wes Craven movie,

you know, it's just as hard
to watch as this one,

but it doesn't get
near the negative publicity

that "I Spit on Your Grave" got.

So anyway, Meir Zarchi --

He wasn't even making an
entirely new kind of movie here.

I think he was just willing
to make it more raw

than anybody else
had ever done it,

and he wanted the woman herself
to take the revenge,

and he certainly found the
right actress to go for that.

-Thank you.

-Have you ever have
you ever taken revenge?

No.

-Would you say it if you did?
-Not yet.

-We didn't think so.

-She's not gonna say that.

-Daddy!
-Daddy!

-Hey!

-Daddy, tell him to
give me back my dollar!

He stole my dollar!
-I didn't! She's lying!

-Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

Ya-hoo!

-Daddy, tell him to
give me back my dollar.

-I didn't steal her dollar!
-Come on, kids, cut it out.

-I'm gonna get you!
-Hi, honey.

-Hi. They've been
fighting like this

since they came home
from school.

-Come on. Stop it, kids!
I'll give you another dollar.

Stop chasing him.

Hey. I'll tell you what.

-Daddy's gonna close the place
now, and we'll all go fishing.

-Yeah! Yeah!
-I hate fishing! It's boring!

-Central Market.

-This is the house
on Park Hill Lane.

I'd like to order some items.

-Give me your order, ma'am.

-Hey, Matthew! Get this
to the house on Park Hill Lane!

-You came super fast, Matthew.

Here, Matthew!

-Matthew. Over here.

I hate you! I hate you!

-What have I done to you,
Matthew?

-You brought nothing
but bad luck with you!

Bad luck!

I have no friends now
because of you!

-Why, Matthew?
Why because of me?

-I was chosen to kill you,
and I didn't!

-You will this time, Matthew.

You will. Just relax.

-I'm sorry I have to do this!

I'm also sorry for what
I did to you with them.

It wasn't my idea!

I have no friends in town!

-I thought we were friends.
Remember? You asked me.

-You're here
only for the summer!

What am I to do
the rest of the year?!

-I could have given you
a summer to remember

for the rest of your life.

-Central Market.

-This is the house
on Park Hill Lane.

An hour ago,
I ordered a few things,

and nobody's come to deliver.

-Sorry for the delay, ma'am.
I'll check on it.

-Thank you.

-The gas station
is closed, ma'am.

Sunday, we only open half-day.

Come tomorrow.

I knew you were
gonna like it here.

-Are men really that stupid,
Camille?

Johnny gets in the car
with Jennifer because why?

-Oh, I told him --
I said, "Come, I'll give you

a hot bath,"
or something like that.

-Well, no, you say
that later.

In that scene,
I don't think you say a word.

-Oh.
-You're just like --

you get him to come with you.

I kind of think Johnny should be
the last to die, don't you?

Isn't he the most male
chauvinist of them all,

the one who's most responsible
for the rape?

And I -- but I --
-He was the leader of the pack.

-Here's my feeling about
why he gets in that car.

Um, first of all, the camera
does a slow reveal on you,

and you are literally
dressed to kill.

Okay?
You just can't --

And you then you
just kind of stroke your hair.

-Yeah.
-And you don't have

to even say anything.

That -- That was a great moment.

That was one of your
greatest moments

in the film, in my opinion.

One thing I always noticed
about this film is the colors.

Uh, the film is in color,
but there's very little color.

It's like the color
is drained out of everything.

You have a few scenes
right at the beginning

when everything looks lush and
beautiful when you first arrive,

and then it becomes dry
and bleached out

and sort of anemic looking.

But this particular part
of the world is like --

it's like you entered
this part of the world that's --

that's life draining.

And, um, the production values
on the film are very good.

And that could possibly be
because Meir Zarchi

day job at the time,

he ran a production house
in New York City, right?

-Yeah.
-Yeah. Okay.

So he had all the equipment

and he knew all
the best technicians, so...

But anyway, now we've seen
Johnny with his wife and kids

at the gas station.

And those are Meir Zarchi
children, right?

-Yes.
-The kids of Johnny --

-Terry and Tammy.
-Terry and Tammy.

And then I love the part where
you, um, you call up the store

and you say,
"I'd like to order some items."

- Some items.
- Just some items.

-We all say that, don't we?
-You do need some items.

-Please deliver item.
-That's what these --

but that's what
these guys are to you now,

items, items on a list.

And you're going to check
them off one by one.

-Okay.
-And now that I've watched it

again, I can see why
Matthew has to die.

Because he takes that knife
with him, you know?

-Uh-huh.
-So then you appear, Camille,

in see through white chiffon
like a wood nymph running

through the forest.

And we get the best whining
scene in movie history,

all Matthew's excuses
for doing what he's doing.

He says these while he still has
the knife in his hands.

You know, reason number one,
I have -- I have bad luck.

Reason number two,
no friends.

Reason number three,
I didn't kill you

and I was supposed to,
and now I'm in trouble.

You know, reason number four,
sorry I have to do this.

In other words, I feel bad.

Reason number five, sorry
what I did before, you know?

Reason number six,
it wasn't my idea.

Reason number seven,
no friends again.

Because you're only my friend
for the summer,

so you're not really my friend.

And then one of your
best lines in the movie,

um, "I could have given you
a summer

to remember for the rest
of your life."

And then you flash the breasts
and Matthew is a goner.

You got him.
You know, he gets his first

orgasm and his last orgasm,
and you take his virginity

at the same time
you take his life.

That scene got cheers,
cheers in the theaters,

which pretty much destroys
Roger Ebert's contention

that the audience
was siding with the rapists.

But here's --
Did you work well with Matthew?

Did you like Matthew?
-Oh, yes.

He was a wonderful guy.

-He's -- I think he's actually
a good actor, even...

He is a good actor.
-...though I don't think
He ever did any other acting.

But, um,
we're going to -- we're going

to jump ahead just a little bit.

Coming up now is the
most notorious scene

in the whole movie,
the bathtub scene.

And I assume --
I assume that you and Johnny

had to get comfortable
with each other

before you could even do
that scene, right?

-We're actors.
-Okay.

But, I mean,
did you talk through it or...?

-No, we kind of winged it
as we went as -- as I recall.

-Okay.
-I was really nervous about it.

-Right.
-You know, it was

a bubble bath, remember?

-Right.
Johnny --

Johnny is listed
in the credits as Eron Tabor.

-Mm-hmm.
-But, um, that was

not his real name.

His real name
is Ron Shetler,

and he had a short
acting career,

but he's, uh,
30 years as a teacher

at the Neighborhood Playhouse,
a teacher.

-And he's such a talented man.
He really is.

-So I want to mention this,

um, I want to mention this
quote...

from the Video Movie Guide
written

by Mick Martin
and Marsha Porter

right -- right
before we get to this climax,

so to speak, of the movie.

-So, "The scene
where she robs a man of his,

'offending weapon'
is one of the most appalling

moments in cinema history.

This is, beyond a doubt,
one of the most tasteless,

irresponsible and disturbing
movies ever made."

-And then everyone
goes to see it, right?

-What?
-Then that would make everybody

want to go and see the movie.

-Yeah.
-That's my take on it.

-You would think it would,

but I think you should be
proud of selling one

of the most appalling moments
in cinema history.

True.

-Well,
I never thought about it.

I will now.

-So, Camille, why do you think
this movie has lasted so long?

-That is a good question,
you know?

And it's been out
for a long, long time.

I mean, people seem
to want to see this film.

Why? I don't know.
It must have something to say.

-Well, thank you for being here
as -- as you exact

the remainder of your vengeance
in the conclusion of the movie.

I hope maybe people will
understand a little better what

you and Meir were going for

when you put
this movie together.

-And, um,
a little note on that.

Meir, he wrote
several screenplays,

and I'd read them all,
about four of them.

And I asked him, I said, "Why
did you go with this movie?"

He said, "Because that was
the one I was able

to raise the money for."

-Okay.
-Wow.

-Yeah.
-All right.

Well, I guess we're going back
to the movie because, uh,

what you're going to see now
is pretty stunning.

So, roll it.
-Trigger warning.

All right.

For the sequence
we're going to watch,

I actually made --
Oh, I should do the --

Oh, yeah.
Here it is.

I made a list of Johnny's
reasons, Johnny's.

Before that was
Matthew's reasons.

These are Johnny's reasons

why he shouldn't be held
accountable for the rape.

And there are 12 of them.
He begs for a long time.

Um, reason one.
he was conned into it.

So he starts out
with a total lie.

Reason two, it wasn't his idea.

Reason three, it was Stanley.

Reason four,
Stanley is a sex maniac.

But then he goes to
a whole new philosophical level

that should have made
everyone realize this is

a feminist movie.

Reason number five,
I've got a family.

Reason number six,
any man would have done that.

Reason number seven,
you coaxed me into it.

Reason number eight,
a man is a man.

Reason number nine,
you showed him your legs.

Reason number 10,
you showed your tits to Matthew.

Reason number 11,
you don't wear a bra.

Reason number 12,
you wear a bikini in public.

That's like his --
His final reason is...

he actually
calls you a bikini bait.

So, uh, so they had to rape you.

That's all of his reasons.
-Wow.

-So at that moment,
you pretend to be convinced

that, yes, it's your fault.

These reasons were so good.

It's your fault,
and you give him the gun.

And you suggest --
you --

You're so confident at that
point that you give him the gun,

and you suggest
that the two of you

get into the bathtub together.

Now, is that believable?

Um, I don't know,
but it makes for a good movie.

And, uh, and by the way, we did
ask Johnny to be here tonight,

but he --
he didn't want to do it.

Have you spoken to, uh,
Ron Shetler over the years

after making this movie?

-No, I haven't.

I know Meir has,
but I haven't.

-So all these years later,
you haven't spoken to Ron?

-Mnh-mnh.
-You should call up Ron.

"Remember that day
in the bathtub?"

-I would. In fact, I've been
to New York many times.

But, um,
when I go there again,

I -- I've been --
I've been thinking about

getting this number from Meir.

-Our producer
knows Ron's friends.

We gotta get you with Ron.

I think you and Ron have to...
-Aww.

-...have to get, you know,
all this time.

-Build bridges.
-Well, at least have dinner.

-Okay. Yes, absolutely.

Well, the two of you
made movie history together.

That's why I want
to see that happen.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-Well?

Oh, you want me
to open the door for you?

Okay.

-Stay where you are.

You're kidding!

-Take off your clothes.

-You don't have to force me!

I'll do it to you voluntarily.

-Your clothes.

-I don't like women
giving me orders.

Hey.

Alright. But you're after
the wrong man. Heh!

Look, I was conned
into this whole thing.

Stanley, the dark-haired guy?

The man is a sex maniac.

-Down. On your knees.

-Don't. Please don't.

Look. You can't do this to me.
I-I got a family.

-A nice-looking wife.
Two beautiful kids.

And you don't care?
No guilty conscience?

-This thing with you is a thing
that any man would have done.

Hey, first thing,
you come into the gas station,

and you expose
your damn sexy legs to me

walking back and forth
real slow,

making sure I see them good.

And then when Matthew
delivers the food to your door,

he sees half your tits
peeking out at him!

Tits with no bra!

And then...

...you're lying in the canoe.

in your bikini!

Just waiting.

Like bait.

-Come on.
I'll give you a hot bath.

-Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You got great hands.

Oh, God bless your hands.

He's a very touchy boy,
this Matthew.

He's very sensitive.

Had a little fight
with him yesterday.

Scared the...out of him.

Eh, he'll come back.

-He'll never come back.
-Yeah, he will.

He'll cool off.

-He's cooling off, alright.
At the bottom of the river.

-What, do you think he
committed suicide or something?

-No. I killed him.

No, you didn't.

-Yes, I did.

I choked him to death
with a rope.

-Come on. You did not.

-I did.

Oh, you've got one
fantastic sense of humor.

-I let Matthew kiss me
before I killed him.

And you know what?

-Hm?

-He came. He actually came.

You have got a weird,
weird sense of humor.

-Do I?

-Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yes. Oh. That's great.

Oh, yeah.
You've got great hands.

God bless your hands.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus!

Oh, God!

Oh, mother!

Mother!

Ohh! Oh, mother!

Ohh! Ohh!

God! I can't stop the bleeding!

Oh, God!

Somebody help me!

Stop. Stop. Oh, no. Stop.

Yes. Yes! Oh.
It won't stop bleeding.

It won't stop bleeding!

Ohh! I gotta stop it.

Oh, let me out of here!

-My husband never disappears
on me.

He's not that kind of a man.

He's loyal to me.

He's a good father
and a good husband!

Why do you hang out here
all the time?

Huh?!

Where is he?

Get out of here!

Get out! Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Get...out of here!

I'll break your goddamn heads
if you come back here again!

-I scared you, didn't I?

Huh?
-Not a bit.

-Where's your friend?

-He stayed back in town.

-I'm glad. It's you I wanted.

Goddamn slut!

Hey! What do you think
you're doing?!

-Andy! Andy!

Andy!

Andy! Help me!

Andy!

Help! Help!

Andy! Help me!

Andy!

Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa!

-Murderer! Murderer!

I'm gonna kill you!

You slut!

Leave him alone! Damn it!
I'll tear you up!

I'm gonna get you! Aah!

-Come on. Turn around.
Lean on my arm.

Help me!

Please! Please!

I don't want to die!

Please!

Ah. Come on.
Please help me.

I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.

-It wasn't my idea.
I didn't want to do it to you.

I'm sorry! I really am!
It was Johnny!

Johnny talked me into it!
Johnny made me do it!

I didn't want to do it!
He made me do it!

-Suck it, bitch.

-Is that a little smile there
as she motors up river?

I think it is.

She's going to motorboat
all the way back to New York

and continue her
literary career as the editor

of Soldier of Fortune magazine.

Have you noticed that they have
no police in Kent, Connecticut?

How many rapes and killings
have we had now without

the slightest interest
by a detective?

The interesting thing
about the film

is that it doesn't
really take any point of view.

There's no police,
there's no lawyers,

there's no morality speeches.

There's no agonizing over what's
the right or wrong thing to do.

Just let's rape her
because we can,

and then I'm going to kill them
because they raped me.

She had to get control
of that phallic boat, though.

We knew that had to happen,
right?

And, you know, there's just
something about a woman

in a string bikini gasing
an outboard on the Housatonic

with an axe in her hand
that says to me

you've come a long way, baby.

So Roger Ebert said on TV

that he was bothered
by the fact that the guys

who rape her
are obviously not deranged.

Well, she's obviously
not deranged, either.

You know,
there's something very Greek

and ancient
about this whole story,

but I still find the bathtub
scene -- that's hard to watch,

and I have seen
that several times.

But that's a testament to
how well it's done.

Johnny is actually relaxing.

He's on the verge of orgasm
when he gets neutered.

And while Jennifer
is telling him exactly

how she killed Matthew,

that's what she's talking about
when she kills him.

And then you get
that excellent Johnny freakout

when he realizes
what's happened.

You can just imagine
the groans in the theater

as Johnny starts screaming.

Talk about not needing
any special effects for that.

Just great acting.

We wanted to have Johnny
on the show,

but he didn't want to do it.

Um, anyway, it's not like
you can go out in your backyard

and practice that kind of stuff
for real.

And then we have
the whole ice queen part

where she goes into
the next room

and she puts on the opera
to drown out his screams.

And it's Puccini,
in case you were wondering.

It's "Sola, perduta,
abbandonata",

which translates to alone,
lost and abandoned,

and she waits for him to die.

I actually think this would
have been a great closing scene.

This should have been
the closing scene for the movie,

and the head bad guy
should always die last.

Uh, and the other two guys
who are the closing,

that's just too --
they're too stupid.

They're too stupid to kill,
actually.

But fortunately,
we have the world's

leading expert on emasculation
with us tonight!

-Oh!
-Yes! She's back.

Whoo!
-Felissa Rose!

Come here. Felissa Rose,
ladies and gentlemen!

Felissa is the professional
mangled dick expert.

All right.

-Okay, Felissa.
Welcome.

-Thank you.
-It's been a while

since you were here,
so I think we should

start out by explaining

how you became the
mangled dick expert.

-You appointed me.
-Well, no.

I mean, how you were --

you were in a movie
with a mangled dick.

-Okay.
My dick was not mangled.

-Oh, my God.
-I know you always say --

You always say that,
but "Sleepaway Camp"

starts out
with a speedboat accident,

and you get run over
by the speedboat

and your dick gets mangled.

And so they raise you as a girl.

-Okay, you made that up.
That you made that up.

-You made that it up!
-You made it up!

It's not in the movie.
-You always say that,

but the scenes are there.

Okay, we'll argue later.

-We'll argue later,
but right now,

we need your expertise.

-In the movie --
-She keeps telling you that.

-In the movie
that we're watching tonight,

we have a mangle
and we have a removal.

-Yes, we have
a John Bobbitt situation.

-Meaning -- Meaning the guy
who got his penis

cut off by his wife
and she threw it out in a field

and somebody ran out
in the field and got it back,

and they sewed it back on,
that guy?

-Yes.
We call that a Bobbitt.

-So this was an early Bobbitt
since, I mean, Lorena Bobbitt,

she didn't emasculate
John Bobbitt until 10,

15 years later.

-With exactly
the same kind of knife.

And I maintain that
Lorena Bobbitt was a copycat.

She had seen this movie.

-Interesting.
-Oh!

Interesting theory.
-Yeah.

But what I'm wondering about
is cinematically,

this is the important point
here?

What is worse,
dick mangling or dick removal?

-I got to go with mangling.

-Darcy?

-I agree. I think
mangling is a better story.

-Well, nevertheless,
when it comes to penis assault,

this movie pretty much sets
the standard for just

how far you can go with it,
right?

-Oh, that's not true.

You can cut off the penis
and play football with it.

-Street trash.
-Street trash.

You know it.
-True. That's true.

-Give me that.
-That's mangling,

removal and humiliating hijinks

with the whangdoodle
in street trash.

Hijinks with the whangdoodle
does not exist in this movie.

Just mangling and removal.

She leaves the whangdoodle
in the bottom of the bathtub.

-Yeah, but what this movie
has is a great penis mangler.

Okay, no one compares
to Camille Keaton.

-Yeah.
You're friends with Camille.

You know Camille from way back,
right?

-Oh, I love Camille.

-So where does the
bathtub scene rank in the annals

of mangled dicks?

-It's definitely top five,
but that's as far as I can go.

-All right.
It was early, though.

Probably the best at the time,
but we'll settle for top five.

Thank you, Felissa.
Please -- but stick around.

Don't leave, because our second
movie tonight has mangling,

removal, regrowth and
weaponization.

So we're going to need
some help on that.

-Oh, I'm always here for you,
Joe Bob.

And, Darcy,
are we doing mailbag?

-Of course we're
doing mailbag.

-Okay.
-We don't have too many chances

left before the show
goes away forever.

-Oh.
-Enjoy mail while you got it.

-Well, okay.
That's one way to look at it.

Um...

-Uh, this one came to us
from Dr. Brian Jonathan Jordan

of Spanish Fort, Alabama.

-All right.
"Dear Joe Bob,

you once said no doctors listen
to you or other highbrow folks,

but I'm a doctor who listens.

Definitely not highbrow at all.

I'm a radio--
I'm a radiologist.

And when I do
emergency room work,

reading out the trauma CTS, MRIs
and the ultrasound and such,

my focus visually is
on the images of the patients.

What helps me get through
the long shifts and stressors

is the audio commentary
by Joe Bob and Darcy.

I love the history you give and
the behind-the-scenes story."

Darcy, correct me if I'm wrong,
but Dr. Jordan is saying

that as people
are writhing in pain

on the emergency room stretcher,

he's listening to
"The Last Drive-in"

on his headphones,
is that correct?

-That is absolutely correct.
-Okay.

Um, I think I like it.

"He does a great job.

He's speaking to me
in the third person.

He does a great job
as a fellow Southerner

spending a fine tale
to pass the time.

I'm grateful for what he does,
and any annotation to that fact

in his book
would be appreciated."

Any annotation to that fact
in his book?

Oh, I get this.

Oh, he sent this in
when he was ordering

an autographed copy of
"Joe Bob Goes to The Drive-In."

Um,
"And if I ever get this read..."

-Yay!
-It wasn't a plug.

I had to explain why --
-You've been plugging
that all the time, man.

-"If I ever get this read --"

-You got a book. We got it.

-"If I ever get this read

on the mailbag segment, it will
definitely make me smile.

Thanks for all y'all do.

And yeah, I say y'all.

Sincerely,
Brian Jonathan Jordan, MD,

diagnostic radiologist,
generalist

with fellowship training
in breast imaging

and interventions."

That's -- His fellowship
training is in

breast imaging and
interventions.

Dang, Doctor,
we do have a lot in common

because we also specialize
in breast imaging on this show.

So don't push any buttons
on the imaging machine

while you're listening
to this, though.

Uh, but thanks
for making us part

of extreme trauma multitasking.
That is awesome.

-I thought
you would like that one.

-A lot of gunshot wounds
down there.

Spanish Fort is across the water
there from, um, Mobile.

A lot of gunshot wounds
down there in Mobile.

I'm glad we can lighten it up

when they're removing
the bullets.

And that's it for me.

Speaking for myself,
Darcy the mail girl,

Felissa the mangled dick expert,
and Camille Keaton.

All of us reminding you
that people

who wear pajamas in public
have either given up on life

or they're living life
to the fullest.

We'll never know which one
it is,

and the drive-in will never die.

So, um...

You're -- You're Italian --

you're Sicilian Catholic,
ain't you?

-Well, yes, I am Joe Bob.
-Okay.

So Jesus and Moses...
-Oh, boy.

-...are out playing
golf one day.

And when they come
to the 14th hole,

it's a nasty 310-yard par four

with a water hazard
right in front of the green.

So Moses leads off
and he drives a beautiful shot

straight down the fairway,

laying up just 10 yards short
of that water hazard.

Jesus steps up to the tee
and he says to Moses,

"I'm going for the green.

I saw Tiger Woods make
this same shot last year."

So Moses advises Jesus,
"You know,

you're never going to make
that green, lay up short."

And Jesus says to Moses, "No, I
saw Tiger Woods make this shot.

I know if he can do it,
so can I."

So Jesus tees up the ball.

He hits it,
and he watches it land in

the middle of the water hazard.

And Jesus turns to Moses
and he asks him to please,

please part the waters
so I can retrieve the golf ball.

So Moses parts the waters.

He allows Jesus
to retrieve his ball.

So Jesus comes back to the tee
and he says to Moses,

"I'm going to try it again.

If Tiger Woods can make
this shot,

I know I can make the shot too."

So Jesus tees up his golf ball.
He hits it again.

Again, lands in the middle
of the water hazard.

He turns to Moses.

He says,
"Would you part the waters again

so I can retrieve
the golf ball?"

And Moses says, "Okay,"
parts the waters

so Jesus
can get his golf ball back.

Jesus comes back to the tee and
once again he tees up the ball.

He says to Moses,
"I can make this shot

because Tiger Woods
makes this shot."

And so Moses says to Jesus,
"Okay, but if you hit the ball

into the water again,
I'm not going

to help you get it back out."

So Jesus takes a mighty swing

and he watches the ball fall
just short of the green, bounce

and once again lands back
in the water.

He turns to Moses and
he asks him to part the waters,

and Moses tells him,

"No, you got to retrieve
the ball on your own.

So Jesus walks out
onto the water,

searching --
searching for his golf ball.

And about this time,
the foursome that's behind him

approaches the 14th hole,

and they see Jesus
walking on water.

And one of the foursome
asks Moses who

the guy walking on water,
who does he think he is?

Jesus Christ?
And Moses responds,

"No, he thinks
he's Tiger Woods."

I started choking on my water
at the punchline.

I'm sorry.

-Ah!
-Oh, dude.