All language subtitles for The Worker S1 Ep. 2

[Music]

I wake up every morning when the clock

strikes eight. I always

never

come a little run a toaster. the

sporting life in the winning post. I get

all nice and tidy then I toddle off to

work. I do the best I can.

Still I'm only doing what a bloke should

do cuz I'm only a working man.

>> Now tell me once more from the

beginning.

>> Now you'll only start following.

>> No, no, no. I promise I'm very sorry.

It's just that I was so upset that you'd

lost this job. I thought at last I'd

found you a niche in society.

>> Totally lie. Told you last family a

niche in the society. I thought

then this woman caught her big toe up

the bathtub and that was it.

>> Tell me what happened.

>> Well, the governor got this phone call

and he said to me, "Get round to 49 L

Street. There's something wrong with

this lady's t."

>> And he didn't tell you she had her big

toe caught in it.

Oh, not a word. Just gave me a ball [ __ ]

and a spanner and said, "Get there."

>> Look, I can't understand why he sent

you. It was your first day. You had no

experience. Why send you?

>> None of the others would go.

>> Why not?

>> She keeps on doing it.

>> Well, they'd all they'd all been there

before.

>> Yeah. And the governor

and a lot of his mates.

>> I see. Then what happened? Well, I get

round and there is lady is laying there

with her big toe stuck at the bathtub.

>> But what was she doing?

>> Smiling.

Smiling.

>> Smiling.

>> This woman was lying in the bath with

her toe stuck up the bathtap and she was

smiling.

>> Yes.

>> Yast.

>> Yast. And she said to me, "Do not be

embarrassed, young man. Of course, I

keep on doing it. And ain't it a good

job I use a lot of water.

Then she screamed.

>> What did she scream for?

>> I turned the tap on.

>> But why should that make her scream?

>> The hot water tap.

>> And that was the tap she had her toes

stuck up.

>> Yes. I thought it would pop it out.

Then I dropped me ball [ __ ] and she

screamed again.

Why did you scream? Why did she scream

when you dropped your ball [ __ ]

>> Well, she didn't actually exactly scream

when I dropped me bull [ __ ] She

screamed when I picked me bull [ __ ] up.

>> Why? Why did she scream when you picked

it up?

>> I dropped it in a bowl.

As I went to pick it up, it got tangled

in the chain and the plug come out. You

see the plug? And I wanted to turn the

two taps to keep the decent level of the

water and then I tripped on the soap and

fell in.

>> You fell in the bath with the lady.

>> Well, nearly.

Of course, as I fell in, her toe popped

out and she rushed off down the

passageway hollering and shouting,

"Hello." She was going, "Hello."

>> But why couldn't you look what you were

doing?

>> I had me hand over me eye.

>> But what happened? The phone went

>> the phone by the bath.

>> Yes.

>> Who was it?

>> Her husband.

>> Who said who had children drink casual

labor? What? What are you doing in my

art? He did. What you doing in my house?

I said, well, I'm having a bath at the

moment.

He said, where's my wife? I said, she

was in here with me a minute ago.

And he hung up. 20 minutes later, he

came around and punched me in the eye.

>> 20 minutes later, he came around and

punched you in the eye.

>> But when he hung up, why didn't you get

the hell out of there?

>> I had me to stuck.

>> Now, I've heard some wonderful stories

from you in my time, but that beats them

all. If you think I'm going to believe

that, you're crazy.

[Laughter]

All right, old son. I accept your

explanation. I won't attack you for it.

It's of my own making. It must be

endured.

I've got what I deserve for taking pity

on an evil creature.

>> Pardon?

>> I have got what I deserve for taking

pity on an evil creature. It's one of

the fables of Esau.

Indeed, one winter's day, a farm laborer

found a snake frozen stiff with the

cold, and moved by compassion, he picked

it up and put it in his bosom. But with

the warmth, its natural instincts

returned, and it gave its benefactor a

fatal bite. As he died, he said, "I have

got what I deserve for taking pity on an

evil creature."

>> Oh, you were as to forgive me, Mr.

Wiker, but you I'm not a intellectual.

I like them though. I like them. A John

Freeman and a Robert Booby and all them.

I like them. I watch all their programs.

I can't understand them, but I watch

them.

I watched them the other night. Robert

Booby entertains.

Three of them sitting around a table all

smoking and trying to look as though

they just had their dinner.

26 million people were watching

Coronation Street and I'm watching

Robert B.

>> Last night, Mr. Wicker, I was a minor

orderance.

John Freeman said to Robert Bby, "What

do you do about the sue's men?"

Robert Bury said, "When the rabbits had

a meeting to decide free shares for

all," the lion replied, "A good speech,

long ears, but it lacks the sharp claws

and the long teeth like what we got."

>> What have lions talking to rabbits got

to do with sewers?

>> Exactly.

That's what I thought. And I come to

this conclusion. The liars talking to

rabbits have got about as much to do

with sewies as a lady with her big toe

stuck up a bath. That has got to do with

a farm laborer with a frozen snake

stuck.

>> Now you mustn't sneer at wise old

sayings used in the proper context. They

can be of great assistance in business

life. For instance, uh oh, a bird in the

hand is worth two in the bush. Now, what

does that mean to you?

>> Well, there's a bird with the wings for

the flying,

but he cannot fly. Of course, I'm

holding him.

Over there in the bush, there's another

two birds and they can fly course I'm

not holding them.

But the bird what I am holding was going

to fly to that bush. And two of them two

birds were to fly too.

But he cannot course I'm holding him.

And those two birds in the bush cannot

fly either. Course they don't know where

to go.

>> Cheers. But what does it signify?

>> If you're a bird, keep away from

Charlie.

>> All right. All right. All right.

Try this one. It's a long lane that has

no turning.

>> The M1.

>> Um, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

>> Million pound a year and a guitar full

of dandruff.

>> It is easier for a camel to go through

the eye of a needle than for a rich man

to enter the gates of paradise.

>> You want to go to heaven? Buy a camel.

Let's go to heaven.

>> You know my trouble. Don't you know

where I've gone wrong? I've been trying

to make a silk purse out of a SA's ear

and it's destroying me.

>> Sir, you right. I know.

>> I catch you doing it. I'll report you to

the RSPCA.

>> I wonder what you did when you left here

at night. You nasty, wicked, vicious old

twit.

>> You don't understand what I meant was

it's impossible to turn a donkey into a

derby winner. Therefore, it's impossible

to turn a S ear into a silk purse or

similarly you into a useful member of

society.

>> You're right. I know. You are right. I

know. Of course, if the turning the me

into useful member of the society means

cutting off a pig's ear, I will soon

stand up.

Get yourself around there. They need a

man.

s u y p suit.

>> What's that mean then?

>> Send us your problems.

That's synonymous, isn't it?

Good morning. I'm Charles Street casual

labor of way comfort for a job at a

vacancy.

>> Aha. Yes. Mr. Brley's expecting you.

Would you please take a seat?

>> Thank you.

>> Hello, Sue. Can I help you? Ah, yes,

Mrs. Barkley. They're being flown in.

They should arrive at London airport by

4. We'll rush them to you in a very fast

car and you should have them by 4:30.

It's a pleasure, Mrs. Barkley. If you're

in the soup, send the soup. Goodbye.

>> Excuse me. This S U Y P send us your

problem. What does it mean?

>> It means precisely what it says. If you

have a problem, send it to us. No matter

how great, no matter how small. For

instance, if you lost your copy of your

family tree, we would retrace it. Or

supposing you broke a piece of your very

best crown derby, we would replace it.

>> Suppose I have me a big toe stuck on a

bath.

>> We would remove it.

>> Morning. You came for a job and all?

>> No, I'm waiting for her.

>> You will have to wait a damn long time,

too.

>> Silia, darling, you're being

unreasonable. Surely we can sort this

out like two normal human beings.

>> Me unreasonable? I like that. It's you

that's being unreasonable. In fact, if

you hadn't been so unreasonable last

night, it would never have happened.

Well,

>> all right. All right. But it has

happened. What the hell are you going to

do about it?

>> I don't know. I don't know. I'm so

worried. I couldn't sleep all last

night. We're worried.

Phone. Maybe mommy.

>> Hello, Sue. Can I help you?

He is. Ah, yes. That will be Mr. Shel,

our harmonious relations advisor. I'll

put you through. It's for you.

>> Hello.

Yes, indeed it is. And how are you this

morning, my dear? Mrs. Clay.

Yes. I wrote you a letter about your

little problem.

Well, briefly, what I said was this. You

won't solve anything by shouting at each

other. If you can both get together in

amity and friendship,

and listen to each other's side of the

story with patience, tolerance, and

above all understanding, then I'm sure

your problem will be solved.

Not at all.

Thank you. Yeah.

And remember, if you're in the soup,

send for soup.

Goodbye.

What the hell do you expect me to do

about it?

>> The least you can do is apologize.

>> Apologize? Apologize for what? I don't

even know what I'm supposed to have

done.

>> If you don't know what you've done, I'm

not going to be the one to tell you.

Then how am I supposed to find out?

>> You know perfectly well.

>> No, I don't.

>> Yes, you do.

>> If I knew, I would say, wouldn't I?

>> No, you wouldn't because you're so

stubborn.

>> Stubborn nonsense. Do you think I'd

stand here arguing with you if I had the

remotest idea what you're talking about?

This is the most disgusting exhibition

of selfishness. And

it is no good locking the stable door

after the horse has bolted.

He's right, you know, darling.

>> Oh, of course he is. What fools we've

been. Oh, thank you so much. You should

do terribly well here.

>> Phone

Hello. Yeah. Yes, Mr. Brinkley. Right

away, Mr. Brinkley. We'll see you now,

Mr. Drake. It's the door at the end of

the corridor.

>> Andy,

as you go through life,

that true love makes all hearts gentle.

[Applause]

Hello, Sue. Can I help you? He is. I'll

put you through. It's your wife.

>> Darling. Yes. I can't believe you.

Something just come up.

[Applause]

[Music]

Uh, good morning. I'm Charles Drake,

casual labor waves come for a job at a

vacancy.

>> Splendidly. Well, do please sit down,

Mr. Drake.

Now then, now tell me all about

yourself.

>> Oh, what do you want to know?

>> Everything.

>> Well, Charles Drake, the casual labor of

Waybridge.

>> One moment, please.

Do go on.

>> Well, I was I was born at the elephant

and castle with my mother.

Her name is uh her name is Violet and

she's little and cuddly.

I had uh lots of brothers and sisters,

mostly boys and girls.

And uh every Saturday we used to go to

Buckingham.

Yes.

Paris

to see the changing of a guard. Then we

used to go to uh St. James's Park and

play with our ducks. Then we go home for

supper, fried duck and chips.

Then we move to the east

speaking

July 4th.

Spend it.

>> It was a

dock road.

It was a very poor neighborhood. In

fact, if we paid the rent, the police

used to come round out to find where we

got the money from.

Then I got my first job.

>> My first job.

>> Your fast job.

I was a cat's meat man.

Tops a stick and no questions asked.

Then I sold bundles of firewood and

police could be able to string back.

Then I did three months bottling for a

sword swallow in the Marlin road.

Fine. Now you run along and see Mr.

Dunlop, our personnel manager. He'll fix

you up.

>> Oh, thank you very much.

[Applause]

You can fool all of the people some of

the time

and some of the people all of the time,

but nevertheless,

>> my dad, you're right. You should do very

well here.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Do you play snooker?

>> A little bit. Yes.

>> Good. In here.

>> I've got to see Mr. Darham for the job.

>> There's plenty of time about that. This

is important. In you come

now. Just stay there a moment, will you?

Hello. Soup here. Yes, I've got one. I

just want to check on a couple of

things. The television set 21 in. Mhm.

The Mingvars. The one with the blue

dragon motif.

>> Yes. The Toby Jugs.

>> Nine. Good. Well, we can get on with

your problem now, my lord. If you'll

just hold the line, sir.

>> You any good at this game?

>> I've played a bit, you know. Yes. used

to be champion of our school. Pelican

Street mixed infants.

>> Was it in the curriculum?

>> No, in the playground.

>> Take your choice of weapons. That's a

nicely weighted one. Or would you rather

have heavy ones?

>> They're all the same to me, mate.

>> Yeah, that looks all right.

>> Right. Toss you for brick.

>> Have you got a coin? Got a coin.

What is it?

>> Hint.

>> Tell that

to go down. Break the pack. I might

leave you on. Would have been the

bottom. Put you behind the left hand

shoulder screw shop off the blue.

It's a problem, ain't it?

Think I'll send for soup.

[Laughter]

Seems a nice f to work for.

>> Oh, it is. It is.

>> You had this job long.

>> Job? This is not a job. It's a vocation.

The more advanced our technology gets,

the greater grow our personal problems.

And there are some people who just can't

cope. That's where we come in. That's

the reason for our existence. You would

be horrified at some of the terrifying

problems people bring us. Take the

Duchess of B. Every day for the past 20

years, she has had develed Gull's eggs

for breakfast. Last Sunday, down she

comes, not a develed Gull's egg in the

castle. The Duke gets on to us terribly

upset. Don't worry, we told him. Keep

her under sedation for 24 hours and we

will fly the eggs in from Iceland. And

thank goodness we got them to her before

his serious damage was done. Take the

day the Duke ripped his chucka boot.

We had an Afghan cobbler on that field

within 20 minutes.

Did you see the picture in yesterday's

tatler of Jennifer Bon Mottley's coming

out party at Mley Grave? All those

wonderful young people gathered around

the campfire wrapped in blankets and

barbecuing an antelope.

That was us, you know. Yes, we got the

antelope from the Serengeti National

Park and 480 Kashmir blankets from

Karach. And we parachuted the blankets

to those lovely people just one hour

before that picture was taken. How they

cheered and waved. It was most moving.

And we realized our work was really

worthwhile. That's what soup does. I'm

proud to be part of it.

>> It's a bit like Oxfam, ain't it?

>> Oxfam.

>> I believe they got one or two problems

and all.

>> They haven't come on to us.

>> No. Well, perhaps they will.

Good shot.

>> I told you I'd done a bit. E

Just a minute.

>> It's not your shot.

>> And they didn't want those rays going

in.

>> They certainly didn't.

>> I'm very sorry. I thought they went

down. Sorry. But the excitement of the

game.

>> Wait a minute.

One foot on the floor if you please.

>> Can I have a rest? Of

>> course you can ask for a rest in the

first place.

>> Bad luck. You should have took it off

the cush.

You see that blue swerve?

You find this table of grace to nap, you

great.

>> Hi, Glly. I left you on there a bit,

didn't

you? The luck of the game.

Was you in the services?

I should never forget it. I report it on

the money for me medical

stintly said. There I stood raw raw.

You see that white marble slab lay on

that? Oh, he said you're in nobody's m.

I said, "How about me eyes? You're not

testing me eyes." He said, "We don't

test him anymore. We only count on them

one, two. Congrat."

I said, "I'm no good. I've got one leg

shorter than the other." He said, "Don't

worry. We're your guy. Ground's very

uneven.

Put me in the camel core.

I should put a bit of bottom on it. Put

a bit of bottom on there. I had me my

own camel, you know. Let me own camel.

Muriel, her name was a vicious beast. Be

patient with her, said the corporal. We

just had her authenticated.

We're going across the desert one day

looking for General Montgomery.

And my camel turned to the camel next to

her and she said, "I don't care what

anybody says. I'm thirsty."

So when we found Monty, I said, "Excuse

me, sir. Can I take my camel for a

drink?" He said, "She's too young to

drink. Take her up the pictures.

I should come down for the black."

But

I took her up to Oasis and she bent down

to drink. She drunk and drunk. I

couldn't move her. Get up. I said, "I

got to get it wouldn't move. Wouldn't

budge." Along came a outer

and out of the outer stepped a lovely

princess. Hello cheeky, she said

making a oriental gesture.

She said, "Are you in trouble?" I said,

"Well, yeah. Do you think me camels and

sat down to drink and I can't budge it?"

She said, "You turn your back. I'll move

it." I turn it back. Look where there's

a camel galloping across the desert. I

said, "By golly, that's clever. How'd

you do that?" She said, "I just tickled

its belly." I said, "You better tickle

mine. I got to catch it."

No shock. Off you go then. Oh, what a

bit of bad luck.

[Applause]

Oh my god.

[Music]

You don't think I'm going to lose four

points for that? Do you

race tile free shot? Eight points. Rule

number 28. Black 1923.

Jump the white over the black into the

black red.

>> Excuse me. What's up?

We uh we normally have bries, you see.

Brandy and soda. Hey,

>> would you like a brandy and soda?

>> Yes, certainly. Yes. Yes. Lovely.

>> I'm sorry, my lord, but I can stand it

no longer. That's the fourth time I've

had your stick up my waist coat in the

last 10 days.

I should seek safer employment abroad.

>> Well, this is a tricky one, isn't it?

>> Wonderful what they can do with

plastics.

>> Well, the problem's quite

straightforward. It's the answer that's

somewhat complicated. Um, what do you

think?

If the cap fits, wear it.

>> By Jove, you've got it. I've solved your

problem, my lord. You need a bigger

billihood room.

Welcome to soup.

>> So, they were all delighted with you and

they all shook your hand and said,

"Welcome to soup." And here's to a long

and happy association. And then they

sent you on your first assignment.

Right.

>> Right.

>> What happened?

[Music]

I guess

68.

I a piece of kicks all shoes and settles

in the corner with the daily news. I

listen to the wireless then I toddles

off to bed. I've done the best I can.

Still I'm only a doing what a bloke

should do. I'm only a man. Still I'm

only a doing what a bloke should do.

Oh, come on. Be a world king man.

[Applause]