All language subtitles for The Worker S1 Ep. 1 - The Machinery of Organisation (1080p) st. Charlie Drake (İngilizce_ASR)

[Music]

I wake up every morning when the clock

strikes eight. I'm always punctual,

never never late. With a nice cup of

tea,

a little run of toast, the sporting life

and the winning post. I get so nice and

tidy then I trot along to work.

I do the best I can. Still I'm only uh

doing what a bloke should do, cuz I'm

only a working man.

Here we are then, Mr. Giles. Be there

2:00 sharp and the best of luck. Thank

you very much, sir. Next.

Now, don't say a word.

You've got it, haven't you? Yes, I did.

I start 8:00 tomorrow morning. Well

done, well done. And you just can't wait

to get home and tell the wife the

>> good news, can't you? Oh, she'll be

delighted, but I just had to come in and

thank you for all you've done. I've

always wanted a job like this and now

I've got it.

>> Oh, come now, I was only doing my job.

And I'm proud to say that any man who

has come to me for help has never never

been turned away. For I've always said,

"A man without a job is like a ship

without a rudder. He tosses and turns on

a great sea of emotion and despair.

Then he founders and ends up a battered

wreck to spend the rest of his life a

floating piece of flotsam." You're

right. Well, that won't happen to me

now, thanks to you. Oh, you think

nothing of it.

>> Just toddle off home and tell the little

lady the good news. Goodbye. Bye.

Bye-bye. If you can help somebody as you

go along,

then your living has not been in vain.

No.

Your living has not been in vain. NO.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

THAT'S THE TROUBLE, YOU SEE.

THAT IS THE reason I am what I am like.

What do I want?

I'm subdued into the time, but what do I

It happens all the time.

I go to have a haircut. Barber, she

says, "Haircutting?" Haircuts. Haircut.

I go in, there's four men all having a

haircut, and four men are cutting their

hair. I sit in the chair, the man says

to me, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

SWEET SHOES. SWEET SHOES. All we sell is

brown We specialize in brown sweet I go

into the shop and the man says, "What do

you want? WHAT DO YOU THINK I WANT, A

STEAM SHOVEL?"

RAINING.

RAINING A CLOUD OF BLACK and a thunder

and a lightning.

It's all raining, it's catching and it

it IT'S HISSING DOWN.

SOAKING WET, I'M ALL DRIPPING WITH THE

wet and the water dripping.

I go I go to my digs, knock on the door,

my landlady opens the door. You know

what she says?

"IS IT RAINING?"

IS IT ENGLISH? I'M DRIPPING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AT, MATE? Can

you understand what else I did? It says

"Labor exchange."

A labor exchange is a place where a

person goes to get a job. I walk in and

you say, "What do you want?"

A job.

Job?

Job.

I go home and tell the little lady the

good news.

Darling, I've got a job, I should think.

And she will cuddle me.

And give me a cup of tea with a piece of

toast with a big on it.

And I shall take her in my arms and say,

"I'm no longer a piece of flotsam, I've

found my rudder."

Cuz I was helped by somebody

as I came along.

And my living has not been in vain.

Cuz I was helped by somebody as I came

along.

[Music]

And my living has not been

in vain.

[Laughter]

You haven't got a little woman.

Oh, to the onlooker that must have

sounded very impressive, and indeed the

onlooker at this moment, I would hazard

a guess, is all choked up with emotion

because this poor little fellow wants so

desperately to find a job. But then,

what the onlooker does not know is that

this poor little fellow has been coming

into this labor exchange for THE LAST 20

YEARS.

NOT ON AND OFF FOR 20 YEARS, not just

occasionally during the last 20 years,

BUT THREE TIMES A WEEK FOR THE LAST 20

YEARS.

Monday when I send you for a job,

Tuesday when you get the sack, and

Friday when you dash in, collect your

money, and dash out again.

So, pray do not concern yourself about

becoming a piece of flotsam. You are a

piece of flotsam. YOU WERE BORN A PIECE

of flotsam, AND YOU'VE BEEN FLOTSAMMING

AROUND MY HEAD FOR 20 YEARS. AND AS FOR

LOSING YOUR RUDDER, DON'T WORRY DON'T

WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU NEVER HAD A RUDDER.

YOU ARE RUDDERLESS, BRAINLESS,

WORTHLESS, AND DAMN WELL USELESS.

NOW,

HAVING STRAIGHTENED OUT THE ONLOOKER,

I repeat,

what the hell do you want?

How do you know I ain't got a little

woman?

How'd you know I ain't dashed out here

every week for the last 20 years and

cried, "DARLING, I'VE LOST MY RUDDER

AGAIN.

I'M TOSSING AND TURNING IT, I'VE

FLOUNDERED AGAIN.

I'M FLOTSAMMING AGAIN

ALL OVER MR. WHITTAKER'S GREAT BIG

HEAD."

WHAT HAPPENED?

PARDON?

What happened? Why did you lose the job?

I ruptured myself clocking on.

Well, I don't know what you've come back

here for. I can't see what you expect me

to do. That was the last job on our

books that you hadn't already been for.

Have a look behind the filing cabinet,

perhaps one's dropped down.

>> And we're not in the habit of keeping

jobs behind the filing cabinets. I've

been in this office for 20 years and

It MAY BE MOMMY.

HELLO.

YES, MINISTRY OF LABOUR HERE.

YEAH.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, dear, you are in a pickle, aren't

you? But well, as a matter of fact, yes,

I I think I can fix you up right away.

Right where?

Yes, good. Bye-bye.

Right. L.G. Brown's of Tottenham,

they're a man short on one of their

production lines. The whole department

has come to a standstill and they want

someone desperately. Now, off you go now

as

fast as you can.

L.G. Brown's of Tottenham. Go on, hurry.

They're losing thousands of pounds an

hour and every second counts. I would

have told you not I'm not. But they're

desperate. Of course they're desperate.

Won't make a bit of difference.

I shall get there. You know what I'll

end up? In the waiting room with the

cabinet's office watching the secretary

typing. Then he will see me and when

he's finished with me, he'll pass me on

to the attitude, to the welfare, to the

nurse, to the accounts,

and anybody else who happens to have an

office in the same building.

But I can't I get to the production

line, it'll be 10:00 to 5:00, just

enough time for them to show me which

lever to pull and a bell will go for not

enough time.

It's what they call the They call it the

um

the machinery of organization.

>> That thing. The machinery of the

organizat of the ation. That thing.

I Excuse me, missus.

Is there any danger of me starting work

within the next three or four days?

He put down the telephone. "Yes," he

said, "right away." "Of course," he

said, "get round to L.G. Brown's of

Tottenham. They're in a desperate

situation, a man's fallen off THE END OF

THE PRODUCTION LINE," he said.

I run all the way here. Run, honey, run.

Run.

Stop that thief, they can't catch HIM.

RUN RUN RUN.

I JUST STRAIGHT UP TO YOU AND SAY, "I

UNDERSTAND YOU'RE DESPERATE." YOU SLAP

ME IN THE FACE AND TELL ME TO SIT DOWN.

FOR HOURS I'VE BEEN SITTING there

waiting and watching you come talk to

me.

14,340

pounds,

4 shillings and 8 pence.

What are you doing? Working out my

overtime.

I don't I don't even know what the job

is.

Do you know

So

could you please tell me what the job

is?

You can't You can't You cannot You

cannot hear me.

No, why? Cuz you're a staff.

Staff, typical.

All white collars and LAST YEAR'S SOCKS.

YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO OPERATE A 1400

horsepower Smith Burley Mark VII

multiple novelty dispenser synchronized

production outlet 3A in our breakfast

tables division.

Thank you.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Pardon?

You will be required.

You are going to put little plastic

airplanes into boxes of cornflakes.

So soon you will be able to put your big

brawny laborer's muscles where your

mouth is, worker.

Workers, all fat pay packets and last

year's fingernails.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

There you are, sir.

The personnel manager will see you now.

Through there, worker. Thank you.

Have you ever thought about doing

welfare work?

Well, the rising cost of production are

directly attributable to widespread

increases in raw materials and commodity

prices. Yes. Amen. For details of the

exact percentages on any given range of

goods, see the confidential report

appendix two. Name

appendix one section C

>> Charles Drake, casual laborer of wages,

come for the job of putting the little

plastic airplanes into the boxes of the

cornflakes. And what job have you come

for?

Come for the job of putting the little

plastic airplanes into the boxes of the

cornflakes.

I believe the only job going at the

moment is putting little plastic

airplanes in the boxes of cornflakes.

Exhausting and frankly Well,

yeah, well that would be very good

really, you see, cuz my last job was

putting the little plastic bags of

cherries into the boxes of the cake mix.

So it's quite conducive, really.

And what was your last job?

I was a brain surgeon ON THE BRITISH

RAILWAYS.

GAVE IT UP FOR LENT.

AND I WAS A HARD OPERATOR.

On me own free development, SEE,

IMPECCABLE.

AND I WAS A CHIEF HIPPOPOTAMUS EGG SEXER

for the common market.

And I was head executioner for the

women's institute.

But I had to GIVE IT UP. WHY? I COULDN'T

QUITE GET THE HANG OF IT.

YOURS, ETC.

RIGHT, THANK YOU ALL. WELL, that seems

to be all right. Oh, does it? Oh, oh,

good. Well, do I get the job then? Do I

get the job?

I didn't say that.

You haven't been listening to me, have

you all?

But you you you were you were you were

doing you were listening to me.

Can Can you tell me where I've to go

next, please? Oh, yes. Well, now

I think perhaps you better go and see

our

Uh yes, you better go and see our

Aptitude consultant. Aptitude

consultant, exactly.

Remember to all departments recent

applications for employment have not

shown a marked tendency

contrary to

You you you you really You You haven't

been listening to me, have

Executives, typical. All striped

trousers and nothing in THE COAL BIN.

THANK YOU.

I'M CHARLES DRAKE, CASUAL LABORER OF

WAGES, come for the job of putting the

plastic airplanes into the boxes of the

cornflakes. Splendid. Do sit down.

Now,

here we have a simple puzzle.

Now, I'm going to jumble it all up like

so.

I want you to put it all together again

for me, and I'll see how long you take.

This reminds me of when I was in the Air

Force.

Joined up on the Monday, I was redundant

ON THE TUESDAY.

THE CORPORAL GUNNERY INSTRUCTOR SAID,

"Here is a visual solution to the few

free brown and 20 component puzzle when

I've taken it to pieces."

Here it is.

And it was a test bonus. "Take this

beautiful Take this beautiful and

wonderful." He said, "You do it, AC2

Drake." I said, "I can't."

"I cannot do it. Not only can I not do

it, but what has it got to do with

firing the bullets at the Germans?"

And he says, "You're over the enemy of

the territory, Drake."

And a shell console blows a top of your

head and all the blood COMES DO YOU

THINK DO YOU THINK IF I DIDN'T KILL

I WAS COURT-MARTIALED.

KNOW WHAT THE CHARGE WAS? For uttering

the epithet "sir" in a manner so as to

aggravate.

Didn't even know what it meant.

I just give them a bit of a shuffle, and

you see how fast you can do it.

Just for me, hmm?

It's hard, isn't it?

How about this? Watch this.

How about that?

Very good, but what's it got to do with

putting little plastic airplanes into

boxes of cornflakes? I'll tell you. It's

got about It's got about as much to do

with the plastic airplanes in the boxes

of cornflakes as putting the

Madam,

to answer me a question, what has

putting those little blocks of the wood

together

got to do with putting the plastic

airplanes in THE BOXES OF THE

CORNFLAKES? DO YOU ALL THINK IF I KNOW

WHAT PUTTING THOSE LITTLE BLOCKS

TOGETHER HAS TO DO WITH putting plastic

airplanes in our BOXES OF CORNFLAKES,

I'LL BE HERE TALKING TO A LITTLE PLASTIC

SCHNOOK LIKE YOU? NO.

GO ON, SEE THE WELFARE OFFICER. YES, OF

COURSE.

PSYCHIATRIST, TYPICAL. ALL LEATHER

couches and a trunk full of last year's

Reader's Digest.

Thank you.

I'm Charles Drake, casual laborer of

wages, come for the job of putting the

plastic airplanes into the boxes of the

cornflakes.

Oh, I thank you all.

Please sit down.

Now, what seems to be the problem? I I

have not got one.

I'm I'm I'm happy in all walks of life.

So if you'll kindly stamp the card and

show me the way to the machine, I would

be grateful.

Are you married?

Oh, no.

Got an arrangement with a girl called

Muriel.

We're We're saving up and that.

If you'd like to stamp the card and show

me to the machine, perhaps we can save

up a little bit faster.

You've seen her lately?

Muriel? Mhm.

That's a sort of On Wednesday, we went

up the pictures.

But you haven't seen her since

Wednesday.

Oh, no. No.

That was only last night, and she had to

stay in to wash her hair.

How was her hair on Wednesday?

Very nice.

She just washed it, you see.

I see. Yes.

She washed her hair on Wednesday night,

and you couldn't see her on Thursday

because she was washing her hair.

Yes.

That's fine.

There.

Now, you just pop over to the medical

officer.

I wonder if I would ever work again.

Yes, of course. What's about my

girlfriend, Muriel? We went up the

pictures on a Wednesday. Your hair was

>> Look, I'm terribly busy just now, but

suppose you come back

next

Friday, say about 3:00. That's you, Joe.

Yes, thank you very much.

>> Oh, that's all right. Well, see you

then. Goodbye.

Welfare officers, typical. All blue

blazers and shares in Pentonville.

Charles Street Casual Labour Exchange.

Come to jump in the plastic airplane in

the boxes of the cornflakes.

Charles.

Charles Street Casual Labour Exchange.

78 children FROM THIS PARISH.

A SCHOOL.

A PIT.

A SPIT.

F H COHEN.

YOU HAVE A GLITTER popper face.

Eyesight. Yes.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

Yeah.

[Applause]

APPENDIX. OW.

ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT.

JUST A MINUTE.

WHAT ABOUT THE DOCTOR? TYPICAL, he

wasn't in.

I've had enough of this to and fro. I

want to go straight to the machine shop.

You

are going to accounts.

Name?

Charles Street Casual Labour Exchange.

Come to jump in the plastic airplane in

the boxes of the cornflakes. Bank?

Bank of England, Ireland, Scotland, and

Wales. Bank balance? 24 million quid.

Property collateral? I've got an estate

in the Bahamas, a flat in Mayfair, and a

grass mall JUST OFF WATFORD.

HAVE you made a will?

YES, I'M GOING TO leave everything to be

divided equally between Paul Getty and

Dusty Springfield.

Dependents?

The entire Labour government.

Any favorite charities? Yes, the City of

Westminster Traffic Wardens Guild, and

any betting shop inside a line drawn

from High Wycombe to Penn.

Accountants, typical. All red ink and a

bed full OF BALANCE SHEETS.

[Music]

WAIT.

RIGHT.

SWEET

JOE.

DR. LIVINGSTONE, I presume.

What do you want? I am Charles Street

Casual Labour Exchange. I come for the

plastic airplane in the boxes of the

cornflakes.

>> What? A quarter to five.

>> I'VE BEEN HERE AT 9:00.

I'VE BEEN OFFERED ALL SORTS OF attitudes

and welfare to do. I even washed me

hair. Done everything.

>> All right.

Sweet heart.

Hold it.

This is your machine.

Now listen.

Every time the light comes on, pull that

lever, okay?

All right. All right. All right. So, you

went to all the offices and you finally

got to the machine shop. Then what

happened?

>> quarter to five.

Quarter to five when I noticed this big

machine for the putting all the plastic

airplane into the boxes of the corn

flakes. I had a quarter of an hour. I

did 4,800

and I got the sack.

You did 4,800 and you got the sack? The

asked.

I don't believe it.

Count them for yourself.

Would you like A CORN FLAKE?

[Music]

I GETS HOME IN THE EVENING, lays on six,

eight, full up.

Strong as a half a ounce, sticky as a

rocket.

I asks a piece of apple.

Takes off both me shoes and settles in

the corner with the daily news.

I listens to the wireless, then I

toddles off to bed. I've done the best I

can.

STILL I'M ONLY a doing what a bloke

should do, cuz I'm only a working man.

Still I'm only a doing what a bloke

should do.

Cuz I'm only a working man.

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]