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1
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:05,644
Uh, where are
all the kids?
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,609
Oh, is the football team giving
them atomic wedgies again?
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,409
Well, the joke's on them,
4
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,481
because Ritchie doesn't wear
underwear anymore.
5
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,651
Christine, band practice
was cancelled
6
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,149
because of the field
trip tomorrow.
7
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,421
You do remember
the field trip, right?
8
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:21,559
You were the one
who sent out the memo.
9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:25,785
Uh, did I happen to mention
where we were going?
10
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,803
It's the orchestra
trip to Disney Hall.
11
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,125
They're taking
a Hummer limo.
12
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,730
You volunteered
to chaperone.
13
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:34,201
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's coming back to me.
14
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:37,612
Okay, yes, I will see you
tomorrow at...
15
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:38,835
Disney Hall.
16
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,509
Disney Hall.
Yes, okay, bye.
17
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,778
You want your kid?
18
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:45,175
Oh, yeah. My kid.
19
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,779
Yeah, Ritchie.
I know.
20
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,480
Where is he?
21
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:53,324
I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm okay. I'm okay...
22
00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,861
What is he doing?
I'm okay...
23
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,255
I don't know, but he's been
doing it for 45 minutes.
24
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,788
We were going
to go and help him,
25
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,332
but it's just too funny.
26
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,729
Ritchie. Ritchie, are you okay?
I'm okay.
I'm okay...
27
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,131
What are you doing?
28
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,603
I didn't know how to get home.
29
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,470
Well, why didn't
you just call me?
30
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,139
I don't know your number.
31
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,638
On my cell phone,
you're one of my favorites.
32
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,469
I just push number two.
Oh...
33
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,384
I'm one of his favorites.
34
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,476
Wait a minute-- number two?
35
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,448
Where's your cell phone?
36
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,677
I don't know.
Why didn't you have
the office call me?
37
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,822
I don't know.
Well, why didn't you just ask
Marly and Lindsay for help?
38
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,187
I don't know.
Okay, honey, you can't get
anywhere in this life
39
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,788
if you don't know where you
are or what you're doing.
40
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,160
You're not a baby anymore.
41
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,829
You're 12 years old.
42
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:33,826
I'm 13.
43
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,827
Uh, oh...
44
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,729
Oh, yeah, happy birthday.
45
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,771
Okay, you know what?
Let's just get out of here.
46
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,667
Okay? Come on.
47
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:42,899
Other way.
48
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,673
What? Oh, yeah.
Okay, it's, um,
49
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,342
this way.
50
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,394
(chuckling)
51
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,886
What are you doing?
52
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,917
Having a conversation with Dave.
53
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,562
I thought you guys
weren't getting along.
54
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,487
We don't in person,
but for some reason
55
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,863
when we text each other,
it all clicks.
56
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:11,331
I think it filters out
his dull and my mean.
57
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:15,502
I don't know why,
but he makes me LOL.
58
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,313
Ha! Lol.
59
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,269
Do you know what that means?
60
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,884
Nope, but when she says it,
61
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,775
makes me laugh out loud.
62
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,777
Hey, guys.
63
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:28,881
Hey.
Hey.
64
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,652
Okay, Ritchie, go upstairs.
65
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,721
You did a good job today.
I'm proud of you.
66
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,490
Me, too, son. What'd he do?
67
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,358
He's a freakin' disaster,
that's what he did.
68
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,928
What are you all
doing in my house?
69
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,356
You invited
us for dinner.
70
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,301
Oh, is it Thanksgiving?
71
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,897
What's wrong with you?
72
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,668
You're acting like Grandpa did
73
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,567
just before he started wearing
that German uniform.
74
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,939
I'm sorry.
75
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,567
I got too much going on.
76
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,312
I'm having trouble keeping
everything straight.
77
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,938
I don't know what
is going on with me.
78
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,314
Yep, it's a mystery.
79
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,948
Maybe I should start
doing crossword puzzles.
80
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:06,320
What's a nine-letter word
for "drinking problem"?
81
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,321
No, that's not the problem,
Barb.
82
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,325
The problem is Ritchie.
83
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,958
Okay, he got stuck
at school today,
84
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,804
and he completely fell apart.
85
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,869
He didn't know
how to ask for help.
86
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,498
He didn't know how
to use a phone.
87
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,003
He was completely helpless.
88
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,274
You have failed as a parent.
89
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:27,784
Me? Why's it my fault?
90
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:28,905
Because you made him soft.
91
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,609
I said football and guns.
92
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,311
You're the one still tying
his shoes for him.
93
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,783
That's because I thought
he was 12, all right?
94
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:35,982
But we've got to fix this.
95
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,993
He's got no street smarts.
96
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,345
Barb, you've got to teach
him some street smarts.
97
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,294
Why me?
98
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,591
Because Barb, uh, y...
99
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,764
You-You're-You're
the kind of person
100
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,802
that probably has
some street smarts.
101
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,498
What kind of person is that?
102
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:58,973
A kind of person like you, okay?
103
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,982
Uh, smart...
104
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,905
From the streets.
105
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,379
You might be better off
texting her,
106
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,021
so that she can put on
her mean filter.
107
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,847
You know what?
I'm really serious about this.
108
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,992
When I was a kid,
it was so independent.
109
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,687
I made my own dinners.
110
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,359
I'd leave the house
early in the morning.
111
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,328
I wouldn't show up again
until it was dark.
112
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,687
Our parents didn't baby me.
113
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,704
Our parents didn't
know she was gone.
114
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,366
But it made me strong.
115
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,065
I survived by my own wits.
116
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,036
How are you still alive
to tell this story?
117
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,666
See? See, these are the street
smarts that I'm talking about.
118
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,912
Okay? And his wussy
private school,
119
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,707
that isn't helping, either.
120
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,739
You know, tomorrow they're
going on a field trip
121
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,514
in a Hummer limo.
122
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,012
There were no Hummers
on my field trips.
123
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,424
Well...
124
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,016
Well...
125
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,057
Anyway, it is not too
late to turn him around.
126
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,926
Starting now, we are going
to stop babying him.
127
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,725
He's got to learn
to do things for himself.
128
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,398
RITCHIE:
Mom, my bath is too hot.
129
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,097
Okay, I'm going to go
blow on his bath,
130
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:01,438
but starting tomorrow, we are
going to stop babying him.
131
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,536
I'm coming, darling boy.
132
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,906
Okay, everyone, we're gonna
leave in just
133
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,980
a few minutes, but we've had
a little change in plans.
134
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,879
Ms. Campbell had
a very interesting idea
135
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,381
for our field trip today.
136
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:16,723
Now, I know that everyone
137
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,017
was excited about that
Hummer limo...
138
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,818
ALL:
Yay!
139
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,790
Hold on! Ms. Campbell
had a different idea.
140
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:23,960
Instead of the Hummer...
141
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,787
ALL:
Yay!
142
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,533
Why don't you tell them,
Ms. Campbell?
143
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,559
Thank you, Principal Nunley.
144
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,904
You know, um, kids, when I was
a kid, I was so independent.
145
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,741
I'd-I'd make my own dinners.
146
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:38,406
I would leave my house
early in the morning.
147
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,406
I wouldn't show up again
until it was dark.
148
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,878
I'd ride my bike
to get my own cigarettes.
149
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,776
I'm not sure they need
the back story, Ms. Campbell.
Oh, oh, um...
150
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,749
Okay, well, today,
151
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:52,418
we are going to take the subway
to go to Disney Concert Hall!
152
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,790
Boo!
Boo!
No!
No!
153
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,757
Wait, wait, wait--
the subway?
154
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,026
Why-Why would we do
such a thing, when we
have a Hummer limo?
155
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,125
ALL:
Yay!
156
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,086
No, no, no, no, no-- you can't
157
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,904
see life through
the tinted windows
of a Hummer limo.
158
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,427
ALL:
Yay!
159
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,803
Okay, stop.
Stop cheering!
160
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,001
We are taking the subway.
161
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,542
ALL:
Boo!
162
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,168
It's going to teach you
the things
163
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,072
that you aren't learning
at this school.
164
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,454
You're never going to get ahead
in this life relying on Hummers.
165
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,775
(stamps foot)
Well...
166
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,784
Well...
Well...
167
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,623
Well...
168
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,961
Hey.
169
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,686
What are you
doing here?
170
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,831
You ate all the leftovers
with my name on it
171
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,026
from last night, so there's
nothing to eat in our place.
172
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,958
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
173
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,904
We don't have any other
food, because you haven't
174
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,769
done the grocery shopping
like you said you would.
175
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,968
Yeah. Sorry.
176
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,470
You know, it doesn't
really feel sincere
when you say "sorry"
177
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:47,743
but continue to do
the things you're sorry about.
178
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,481
Oh... Sorry.
179
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:54,479
Just maybe from now on,
180
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,152
could you be a little
bit more considerate?
181
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,649
I didn't realize you had
so many complaints.
182
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:03,523
But... since we're complaining,
183
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,534
maybe you could stop smelling up
the place with your broccoli.
184
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,227
And I don't know how you have
any hair left on your head
185
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,499
with the amount that ends up
in the shower drain.
186
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,229
You have night terrors.
187
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,103
You use too much hand cream.
188
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,972
It's impossible to get a grip
on any of the doorknobs.
189
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,066
Sorry.
190
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,014
(cell phone chimes)
191
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:29,524
There's words on my phone.
192
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:33,147
It's called
a "text," Starman.
193
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,523
I didn't know my phone
could do that.
194
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,934
Whoa.
195
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,525
I didn't know anyone
could do that.
196
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,887
That's nasty.
197
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,534
Who wrote that?
198
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:43,600
It's from Barb.
199
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,527
I think it's meant for Dave.
200
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,273
She is dirty.
201
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,067
Oh, and a really good sport.
202
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,069
Hey, you know what
you should do?
203
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,811
Text her back
something really filthy.
204
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,036
Why me?
Because you're
really filthy.
205
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,812
All right, if I can
think of something.
206
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,721
I hope she gets it.
207
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,019
(vehicle approaching,
tires screeching)
208
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,761
(crashing)
209
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,969
I'd say she got it.
210
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,875
Well, here we are.
The subway.
211
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,735
And look it, Ritchie.
Look here. This is a map,
212
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,054
and it tells you all the
different places you can go.
213
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,146
This is freedom, Ritchie.
214
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,986
What's syphilis?
215
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,158
Uh, that is what happens
216
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,126
when you have too
much freedom. Okay.
217
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,896
Come on, I'm going to show you
how to buy a ticket.
218
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,126
Because if I buy a ticket for
you, then you'll have a ticket.
219
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,771
But if I show you how to buy
a ticket, then you'll be able
220
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,267
to ride the subway
for the rest of your life.
221
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,168
Oh, no!
222
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,270
No, metaphorically, honey.
223
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,712
Okay, where is everybody?
224
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,739
Come on, guys!
Come on! Come on down!
225
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,684
You're going
to love it!
226
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:11,248
Welcome to public
transportation.
227
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,091
We are all going to die!
228
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,186
Ms. Campbell,
229
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,118
you know, I think
we've proved our point.
230
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,964
Everyone has learned
a valuable lesson
231
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:22,829
about real life
and-and urban planning, hmm?
232
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:26,130
So, what do you say I get that
limo driver back here and...
233
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,903
and he take us on a safe
and a better-smelling ride
234
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,002
down to Disney Hall?
235
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,243
Oh, no. Not you, too.
236
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,909
You're an educator,
Principal Nunley.
237
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,848
Are you really willing to send
these kids out into the world,
238
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,775
unprepared for life's
challenges?
239
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,280
Having to rely on maids
240
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,721
and private jets
and Hummer limos?
241
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,647
All:
Yay!
Okay!
242
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,923
Stop it!
243
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,660
Okay? We are raising
244
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,956
coddled, spoiled children.
245
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,958
And I think it's time that
we did something about that.
246
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,961
Push her on the tracks!
247
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:59,133
No, no, no, no, no--
she... she-she has a point.
248
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,942
No, we need to educate
the whole child,
249
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,765
not just the rich part.
250
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,641
Thank you, Principal Nunley.
251
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,979
Thank you. And I think it's
going to be a great experience.
252
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,935
And, you know,
since it was my idea,
253
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,813
I'm going to treat.
254
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,980
Yay!
255
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,193
Hmm, let's see,
it's going to be
(subway approaching)
256
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,685
$25 for all of us.
257
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,288
So I'll put that on
two credit cards.
258
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,089
Here, Ritchie, hold
my purse, sweetie, okay?
259
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,767
What's that?
260
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,065
Oh, that, my friends,
is the subway.
261
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,997
Cool!
262
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,273
Oh, that is cool!
Okay.
263
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:41,141
One for you
and one for you.
264
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,011
And why don't you pass
them all around,
265
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,810
and get on the train
and stay together, okay?
266
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:50,018
Oh, wait. Where's my ticket?
267
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,687
Mom, everybody's
getting on the train.
268
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,415
No, no, I, I had it.
Wait a minute.
269
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,120
And then I passed them out.
I was...
270
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,862
Oh, oh, no. I got it.
271
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,287
I have it.
272
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,131
Okay. Oh!
273
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,457
No! Uh, um...
274
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,032
No. Could you open up?
(bell dings)
275
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,931
Uh, my son is in here.
276
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,003
Ritchie. Oh!
277
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,901
My purse is in there!
278
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,203
Ritchie! Oh!
279
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,174
Purse! Oh!
280
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,013
Oh! Ritchie!
281
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,138
Ritchie!
282
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,049
I'm okay. I'm okay.
283
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:28,761
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm okay. I'm okay...
284
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:32,391
Um, excuse me, uh,
285
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,332
do you know when
the next train is coming?
286
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,397
Uh, they come
every 15 minutes.
287
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,796
15 minutes-- oh, my God.
288
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,969
My baby is on that train.
289
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:43,468
Anything could happen to him
in 15 minutes.
290
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,770
How old is your baby?
291
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:47,442
12 or 13.
292
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,810
Can I borrow your phone?
(sighs)
293
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,810
My son has my purse, and I need
to call my cell phone
294
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,853
and tell him that
I'll meet him at Disney Hall.
295
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,848
You know, I don't know you,
and I didn't get a flu shot.
296
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,821
So I'm just going
to wait for my train.
297
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,790
No, no, wait.
298
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,819
Um, um, my name
is Christine.
299
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,134
Um, hi.
300
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,085
What is your name?
Hi. Bernie.
301
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,134
Bernie? Really?
302
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,999
Weird.
303
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,869
Anyway, I was trying
to teach my son
304
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:17,867
to be self-sufficient
and, um, I, I lost him.
305
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,311
And he doesn't know anything.
306
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:23,236
No, he can't even
cool his own bath water.
307
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,813
He's just lost without me.
308
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:30,423
(all cheering)
309
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:33,047
(crying)
310
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,855
(crying continues)
311
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,900
Please, stop crying.
312
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:45,395
If you could just let me use
your phone, I will let you hold
313
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,398
Ritchie's clarinet
and-and my ticket as collateral.
314
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,901
You know, this
is an $800 clarinet.
315
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:54,044
I bought it before I realized
he didn't have any talent.
316
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,875
Please!
317
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,877
Please!
318
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,079
Please! Please?
319
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,081
Please? Please? Please? Please?
320
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,193
Please? Please?
Fine. Fine.
321
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,085
(sighs) Okay.
But-But hurry up.
322
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,887
And... and don't
breathe on it.
323
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,560
I'm a little germophobic.
324
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,488
Oh, thank you.
You got it.
325
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,503
You're a good person.
326
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:22,138
(coughing)
327
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,265
Oh...
328
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,183
No, no. It's fine.
329
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,120
What are you doing?
330
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,575
Oh, I can't, I can't
remember my phone number.
331
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,124
I-I never call myself.
332
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,949
Why don't you call information?
Oh!
333
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,194
That's a good idea.
You're a good person.
334
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,433
4-1-1.
335
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,098
What? Oh, thank you.
336
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,967
Yeah. You know what?
I'm just a little upset.
337
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,465
But, you know what?
You're an awfully good person.
338
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,965
Hello?
339
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,243
Yeah, in Mar Vista, California.
340
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,952
I'm looking for a listing
for Christine Campbell.
341
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,476
Yeah, oh, no. Yes.
342
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,580
I know it's unlisted,
because I unlisted it.
343
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:13,052
But now I give you permission
to list it, because I need it.
344
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,263
Hello? Hello?
345
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,286
The train is coming.
I need my phone.
346
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,031
What? No. No, Bernie.
What are we going to do?
347
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,628
We can't get on that train,
348
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,599
because what if they're
coming back here to find us?
349
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,367
We're not us.
There's no "us," thank God.
350
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,597
I have a train to catch.
351
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,171
Really?
352
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,010
You know what?
You're a bad person.
353
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,035
I hope I have tuberculosis.
354
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,381
(coughing)
355
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,010
All right,
you know, I'm sorry.
356
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,012
I'm sorry, Bernie.
I didn't...
357
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,524
Oh, you know what, Bernie?
You still have my ticket.
358
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,016
You... Uh-oh.
359
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,989
Bernie, you have my ticket!
360
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,258
Bernie! Ritchie!
361
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:53,127
Ticket!
362
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,695
Damn it, Richard.
Look at that.
363
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,326
I got a scratch
on my bumper.
364
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,031
You have half a house
on your bumper.
365
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,003
You shouldn't be texting
while you drive.
366
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,642
I wasn't texting you.
367
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,036
It came to me.
368
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,208
Well, why'd you text me back?
369
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,036
Matthew told me to.
370
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,211
Yeah, but you took it too far.
You always take it too far.
371
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,010
And you never put
your clothes in the hamper.
372
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,352
And you are
the loudest breather.
373
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,316
Feel free to use
your nose once in awhile.
374
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,415
Feel free to use deodorant
375
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,087
once in awhile, instead
of that crystal.
376
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,516
It doesn't work.
377
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,991
Hey, kiss already.
378
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,130
We have
a problem here.
379
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,725
Who's going to pay
for my Range Rover?
380
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,256
Who's going to pay
for Christine's house?
381
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,661
Look, we don't even
know how bad it is.
382
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,232
Let's get the car out
of here, so we can take
383
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,471
a look at the damage.
It might be nothing.
384
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,501
(engine starts)
Come on back.
385
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,013
Take it slow.
386
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,065
(cell phone chimes)
387
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,213
Barb, what are you waiting
for? Put it in gear.
388
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,179
All right, all right!
389
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,445
Relax, I'm going.
390
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,018
Okay, stop.
391
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,486
Oh, excuse me.
392
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,033
Can you buy me a ticket? Ex...
393
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,770
Excuse me, um, I'm trying
to get a ticket to find my son.
394
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,035
Do you have any change?
395
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,195
(Christine groans)
396
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,072
Oh. Hello?
397
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,511
Excuse me? Hello?
398
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,175
Oh, come on!
399
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,105
Don't act like
you can't see me.
400
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,550
You can't just ignore me.
401
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,045
I need help.
402
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,707
I'm having a hard day.
403
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,084
Get a job.
404
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,694
Hey, you know what?
405
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,345
I have a job, okay?
406
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,064
I have my own business.
407
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,356
And you know what else I have?
408
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,717
Street smarts.
409
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,334
So forget about you!
410
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,666
Get by on my own wits.
411
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,365
(sighs)
412
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,397
Good-bye, Ritchie.
413
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,302
(sighs)
414
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,808
Oh...
415
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,536
I'd give anything
to hear you play this again.
416
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,481
Well...
417
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:05,161
* Nobody knows
418
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,498
* The trouble I've seen
419
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:13,125
* Nobody knows my sorrow.
420
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,273
(coins clinking)
Oh!
421
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,143
Uh... * Nobody knows
422
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,680
* The trouble I've seen
423
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,476
* Glory
424
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:29,448
* Hallelujah.
425
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:30,449
Lose a button.
426
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,290
Oh, gross.
427
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,591
Okay.
428
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:42,831
* Sometimes I'm up,
and sometimes I'm down *
429
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,159
Oh, thank you.
430
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,204
* Oh, yes, Lord
431
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,770
* Oh, and thank you
for the dollar, too *
432
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,140
* Oh, yes...
433
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,708
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
434
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,210
Ah! Yeah!
435
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,182
(chuckling with satisfaction)
436
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,149
(panting)
437
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,651
I did it!
438
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,687
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
439
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,830
Oh!
440
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,625
No, no, no!
441
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:20,765
(grunting)
442
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,765
Oh! Ticket!
443
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,636
(grunts)
444
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,476
Boot!
445
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:32,778
Oh, no!
446
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,209
Oh! Oh, no!
447
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,854
Uh-oh. Uh-oh!
448
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,378
(grunting)
449
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:40,594
(gasping)
450
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:44,257
Fine! You win!
451
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,557
I can't make it on the streets!
452
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,659
Lose a button.
453
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,833
(sighs)
Okay.
454
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:02,306
RITCHIE:
Hey, look. It's my mom!
455
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,307
Oh, Ritchie.
456
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,383
You're here.
I found you.
457
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,552
Mom, what happened?
458
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:15,291
I didn't know my phone number,
and nobody would help me,
459
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,328
so I had to use my wits
to survive.
460
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,585
(clears throat)
461
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,962
Yes, Christine,
we can see.
462
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,400
Button your shirt.
463
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,395
One of your wits
is hanging out.
464
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,241
As soon as she goes to water
those plants,
465
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,797
she's gonna notice it.
466
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:34,244
So we've got about a year
or so to figure it out.
467
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:38,282
It's all right. I'm safe.
468
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,708
Ritchie's safe.
469
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,282
That's all that matters.
470
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,581
Okay, Ritchie, go upstairs
471
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,822
and get in the bathtub, sweetie.
472
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,416
I'm proud of you!
473
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,948
I'm proud of you, too, son!
What did he do?
474
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,663
I don't know. I lost him.
475
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:52,285
But I had to get home
with no money,
476
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,592
no car, no phone, no map.
477
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,764
I had to survive
using only my wits.
478
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,604
Yeah, I can see them,
and one of your wipples.
479
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:06,672
It just goes to show you,
I'm as sharp as a tack.
480
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,306
Hey, what happened to my fence?
481
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,011
What fence, Christine?
482
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,023
The fence that
was right there.
483
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,575
It was leading
into the patio.
484
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,024
I don't know what you're
thinking of,
485
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,448
but there's never been
a fence there.
486
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,823
Man, you really are losing it.
487
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,662
No, no, no-no-no.
It was right...
488
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,329
Oh, no, no.
489
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,271
Oh, yeah, right. Yeah.
490
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,296
(chuckles)
No, I remember now.
491
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,002
There's no fence.
492
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,743
(chuckles)
493
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:43,838
I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm okay. I'm okay...
32149
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