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[Summer] My mother named me Summer
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hoping for breezy and chill.
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And what she got was a Type-A Virgo with stress eczema.
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What can I say?
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Exercising caution is my cardio.
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My toxic traits include perfectionism,
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anxious attachment, and positive affirmations.
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I am consistent. I am persistent. I go with the flow.
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I think you could afford a little more flow there, Summer.
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We just got lapped by a turtle on crutches.
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[Summer] The human equivalent of 6-7 is Glenn Winters.
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Vice Principal of the Year nominee,
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slash driver's ed teacher. It's giving budget cuts.
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This is fast enough, Mr. Winters.
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I'm not trying to impress anyone.
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Well, I am impressed with this hand placement.
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It's a perfect ten and two right there.
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Sometimes I like to cheat and just go twelve,
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or sometimes seven and five.
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-Good morning, Summer! -Not now, Mrs. Kapoor!
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-See you in class, though! -[marching band playing]
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We just got lapped by Mrs. Kapoor.
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You know what? How about a little music?
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Maybe that'll chill you out.
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Oh, yeah! Mm!
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Cranberries! Love The Cranberries.
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Okay, not a Cran-stan.
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Trying to set a vibe for you there, Summer.
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This is my vibe, okay?
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I've prepped for this since February.
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Online tutorials, cue cards, I journaled affirmations.
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Journals plural, Mr. Winters.
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Know what? My daughter is the exact same way.
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Always planning.
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[clears throat] All right, you know what,
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this is my lunch break. If you don't mind...
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I am gonna take lunch.
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Oh my God! Is that gluten? I'm allergic!
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I don't think gluten is airborne. You're fine.
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[coughs]
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It is when you're spitting in my face!
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-[coughs] -[engine accelerates]
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-[Glenn] Whoa, whoa, whoa... -Oh my gosh! Oh my God!
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-How do I slow down? -Use the brakes.
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Summer, what are you doing? Brake! Stop, stop, stop! Brake!
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-Brake! Stop! -Oh my gosh! [screams]
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Brake! Brake! Recalibrating, recalibrating! Look out!
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-[Summer] Oh my God! -[Glenn screaming]
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[learners screaming]
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-Oh my God! Sorry! [Glenn] Move! Move!
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Oh no. Oh no... Oh my God! Brake, Summer! Brake!
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-We're all gonna die! -Summer, brake! Brake! Brake!
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-[tires screeching to a halt] -[mascot screaming]
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[relieved sigh]
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-[airbag pops loudly] -[warning signal pings]
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[Glenn coughs]
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[both coughing]
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Troy! You okay, buddy?
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Troy, you okay? Come on, let's get you up, buddy. There we go.
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Let's get this off of you.
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Breathe. There we go. Get some air.
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You good, buddy? Talk to me. Talk to me, Troy.
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I just saw some crazy shit in there.
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Are you...
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Are you high?
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Uh, I'm whatever you need me to be, Mr. Winters.
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-Boop! -Okay...
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[warning signal pinging]
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Well, your steering's a mess,
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but your mascot takedown is... elite.
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Did I fail?
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-It's a strong maybe. -[sighing]
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[rock music play loudly]
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[brakes screech]
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[Summer] My mom Milly's parking is like her love life,
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short-term and risky,
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which is fine with me because we're a good team.
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I remind her when the bills are due
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and she reminds me it's better late than pregnant.
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I've seen some beavers get pounded in my day, but damn!
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Sweetheart? Baby?
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Are you all right? In one piece?
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-I'm all right. Yeah. -Ten fingers, 10 toes?
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Mom, I think I failed.
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Oh, sweetie, it's not a drug test. It doesn't matter.
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This is fine. You're okay. I love you.
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Now...
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Who the hell let my daughter drive this deathtrap?
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[Glenn, stammers] I...
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You!
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Of course they've got some handsome man in charge
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who's probably too busy chasing tail to do your job?
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[stammers] Oh, yeah... Um, a beaver tail--
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No, this is exactly why we have to smash the patriarchy.
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-Amen! -Or a wo-man.
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-Uh... -[slight chuckle]
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I'm Milly Martin, I'm Summer's mom.
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Oh yeah, Summer. She's a terrible driver.
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-Well... -I'm...
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Glenn Winters, and I'm at your service. Like, forever.
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[slight chuckle]
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Forever's a little ambitious, don't you think?
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Oh, I'm the vice principal here.
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Ambition's, like, my brand.
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[both chuckle]
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[Milly] Um...
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[Summer] Look at this idiot falling for my mom!
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Wait a minute... Is my mom falling for this idiot?
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[sighs] This was not part of my five-year plan.
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♪ Right now you really Really just don't get it ♪
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♪ But you'll wake up someday and you'll regret it ♪
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♪ I'm never ever Gonna change my mind up ♪
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♪ So maybe you Should just stop ♪
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♪ I know that you think That this is just a phase ♪
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♪ But you'll get it someday When it all goes up in flames ♪
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♪ That either way ♪
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♪ I spent all summer Tryin' to change your mind ♪
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♪ It does what it takes And you know I got time ♪
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♪ You'll never be, Never be, never be right ♪
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♪ Cos I don't want it To work out ♪
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[song ends]
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[Grayson] Summer!
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Grayson, you're already packed?
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Already? I've made several coffees
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and trades on Frankfurt markets,
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we're almost about to leave, and your bag remains empty.
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Frankfurt, huh? Speaking of wieners...
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-Is Glenn on his way? -Any minute now.
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You're cool with that? With him?
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Well, I mean, the man's wardrobe is a war crime,
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but an award-winning male role model
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will look great on my application to Wharton.
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-You are 11! -Mom seems happy.
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So, why aren't you?
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She's tequila, and Glenn is lukewarm chamomile.
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-They don't seem like a match. -I wouldn't get too revved.
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Mom loves a new project for exactly four months.
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They've been together for 3 months, 1 week, 6 days.
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Tick-tock, Glenn. Tick-tock.
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[Grayson] Summer, if I miss paddleboarding with dolphins,
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my therapist is in for a wild session.
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[Milly] Almost ready, honey!
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Hey, bikinis... Are we sharing or no?
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I packed zero bikinis.
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She packed zero anything!
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Honey, how amazing is it
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that our family, us , are going to the Caribbean?
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To the El Dorado! Huh?
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Sounds like a strip club that takes Groupons.
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-Baby, it's a five-star resort. -We still owe back taxes,
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and Grayson's laptop literally smells like burning.
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Glenn has assured me
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that the Vice Principal Awards are taking care of everything.
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Which means no one loses any money if someone stays home.
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-Ha! -You guys do realize
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there are waterslides going through fake volcanos, right?
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-[gasps] It sounds amazing. -I know.
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Does this hypothetical person
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have a first name that rhymes with "bummer"?
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[Grayson] Six-foot waves every 90 seconds!
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Speed, danger and you get pummeled on a schedule.
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Oh, sign me up!
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This is no surprise! I've been dropping hints for days.
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I know, I've ignored every one.
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-Great. -Sweetheart, we are not
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"resort" people. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
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Glenn has been nominated for an international award,
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and I've already shaved my legs. We're going.
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-Mom... -[Grayson] Endless lazy river!
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Blackjack! Full-service spa!
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Enough, Grayson. It's giving influencer hostage video.
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-[car honking] -[Milly] Oh!
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-[Grayson] Car's here! Come on! -Thanks for the solidarity.
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Hey! You need to grab your sad duffle,
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paste on a smile and prepare to get sunburnt.
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Mm. Normal moms encourage sunscreen.
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"Normal"?
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It's like you're trying to insult me.
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-[Summer sighs] -Let's go!
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Summer vacation. Woo.
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[island music plays]
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-[Milly laughs] Wow! -I'm gonna go check us in.
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[Milly] Okay. It smells heavenly!
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Of course Glenn's the guy who claps when the plane lands.
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He wept openly while watching Penguins of Madagascar.
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Hey, emotional EQ is the new IQ, kids.
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-And that is not a thing. -It is.
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It's called empathy. Glenn has it. You should buy some.
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-Relax, Brené Brown. -[laughs]
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Ooh! Complimentary welcome cocktail!
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-Excuse you! -I would never.
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Yeah, that might be part of your problem, kid.
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-What? -I'm just saying.
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We are on vacation, and you could stand to loosen up.
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Milly, come and meet the VEEP squad!
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It's some of the other nominees!
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-Oh yay, fun! -Is this lemonade?
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-This is Milly. -Hi!
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That's Grayson right there. Yeah...
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[gentle music plays]
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Is this place the bomb-dot-com, or what?!
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-[loud slap] -[lemonade splashing]
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-[Celine] Ooh! -[Summer coughs]
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Wrong pipe!
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[Glenn] You're not gonna believe this, they upgraded us
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-to a villa! -You worked your magic?
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How?
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I just "Glenn'd" the heck out of it.
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[Milly chuckles]
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We're gonna go up to the room because
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somebody needs a bathroom pass.
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-Let's go, I got our bags. -[Milly] Yay!
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[door unlocks]
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[gasps] Oh my God...
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Is this how rich people feel? All the time?
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Glenn, this bathroom is bigger than my entire kitchen!
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[Grayson] Oh yeah, I can smell the dolphins from here.
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Actually, the kids' suite is gonna be next door.
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Whoa, wait! I'm sharing a room with Grayson?
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God gives His toughest battles to His braves soldiers.
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There, there.
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Will somebody give me a code to the safe.
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This is top-shelf snorkel gear.
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Triple-O Seven.
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I like it. James Bond, just slightly more dangerous.
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[snap teeth at each other]
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[both giggle]
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This is amazing.
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Okay, family, let's change and head to the pool.
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No, pass. I burn like a marshmallow,
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and those pools have the pH balance of Mountain Dew.
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Oh, good point! Why don't we all stay in?
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James Bondage and I can get cozy right here.
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I'll be shaken and stirred all afternoon long.
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-I'll grab my sunscreen. -Excellent choice.
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[Grayson] Whoa, Mom, it's better than the brochure!
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-[Milly] This is unbelievable! -[Glenn] Right?!
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[Glenn] I know, right! Getting our steps in!
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-There we go, watch yourself. -[Grayson] Yeah.
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[Grayson] Wow!
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[people laughing and splashing]
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[amazed] Oh, kiddo, look at this.
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And where are we supposed to sit?
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I guess you have to get here early.
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[Glenn clears throat]
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-I'll go look... over there. -[Milly] Maybe over there?
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Nein!
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I woke up at six precisely, for this lounger. Bitte, move.
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Limited supply, unlimited demand...
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It's vacation. Dial down the finance, bro.
251
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,780
[Glenn, shouting] Cannonball!
252
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,050
[Milly gasps, laughs]
253
00:12:06,190 --> 00:12:08,360
Mama needs a margarita.
254
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:12,790
Dos margaritas, por favor!
255
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:19,200
Thank you. Yes...
256
00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:22,940
Careful, beautiful. Pace yourself.
257
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:25,770
I've been pacing myself for 15 years,
258
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:29,110
but drinking's like a booze bike. The liver never forgets.
259
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,650
-Legends never retire! -[laughs]
260
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:34,420
Is that an octopus tattoo?
261
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,220
I'm good with all my limbs.
262
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:40,990
Oh, really? Like your... arms?
263
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,390
Sure. Let's go with that.
264
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,830
Flexibility comes in handy from my hot yoga classes.
265
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,730
People call me Captain Otto...
266
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:53,770
Parasailing, catamaran cruises, anything that gets you wet.
267
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,270
Tempting as that sounds, we just got here.
268
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,840
I'm Milly, and I'm here with someone.
269
00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:02,580
Milly! I'm rocking this class!
270
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,450
-You are! -Aqua Zumba guy?
271
00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:06,980
If you ever want someone a little less jazzy
272
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:10,320
and someone to, uh, rock your boat...
273
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:13,920
-[scoffs] Oh. Right. -You know where to find me.
274
00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:17,960
[sighs]
275
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:21,260
Mama's still got it! Ooh...
276
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,970
-[podcast starts] - "Welcome to Episode 975
277
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:38,250
of daily affirmations for those looking to let go of control.
278
00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:40,550
Please, as always, repeat after me...
279
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:44,450
-[inhales deeply] - I embrace uncertainty.
280
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,950
I embrace uncertainty.
281
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:51,860
-Plans are for cowards. - Plans are for cowards.
282
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:53,730
-[Milly] Honey! -Ooh!
283
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,630
I got the margs!
284
00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:01,100
See you this afternoon, ladies! All right. Oh, yeah.
285
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,040
-Well, that's cute. -Ooh, yeah.
286
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,810
Oh, man! Summer's just sitting on her phone.
287
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:08,040
Should I be worried?
288
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,340
That's just resting teen face.
289
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,610
They're basically programmed to despise joy.
290
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,920
I just want your kids to like me. Kids usually like me.
291
00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:19,490
Well... [giggles] Kids are dumb!
292
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:20,690
These are strong.
293
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,360
I mean, didn't your daughter
294
00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,660
ever go through a phase like this?
295
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,130
Sadie? Yeah, sure.
296
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:29,960
But Sadie has totally found herself.
297
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,730
Oh? Well, speaking of...
298
00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:36,700
Maybe we should sneak away and find a private pool?
299
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,270
Summer just needs a jumpstart. Watch this.
300
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:43,040
Hey, Summer! Summer! Go long!
301
00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:46,010
Life throws challenges. I catch them gracefully.
302
00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:47,280
-[Glenn] Summer! -[grunts]
303
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,280
-[Milly] Ooh! -Oh no.
304
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:51,420
-[swimmer] Nice catch, cheer! -I'm so sorry!
305
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,960
-I'm gonna go get ice. -Yeah.
306
00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:56,490
Get more margs while you're up.
307
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:01,330
[dreamy music starts]
308
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:06,900
[stammers] I, um... I fell in.
309
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:09,140
Yeah, I... I caught that.
310
00:15:09,270 --> 00:15:11,370
Unlike you and that football.
311
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:14,510
-I'm Summer, by the way. -Crosby.
312
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:18,550
Your dad's got a cannon. Terrible aim, though.
313
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:22,650
Oh, he's not my dad. He's just some dingus my mom is dating.
314
00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:23,850
Temporarily.
315
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,620
[both chuckle]
316
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:29,060
-Let's get you a dry towel. -Yeah.
317
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:30,660
And that's when I said, "Sorry,"
318
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:32,390
'cause, you know, Canadian.
319
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:35,160
Yeah, you have apologized three times already.
320
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,870
This seat has cost me dearly.
321
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,900
Summer, these are my parents, Terry and Celine.
322
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,440
Oh, you poor dear!
323
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:45,240
You'll never make the Rough Riders with those reflexes.
324
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:49,140
-We're Canadian! -Mom, please. Nobody cares.
325
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,740
Great. I love Toronto.
326
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,180
(Terry gulps) God forbid! We're from Saskatchewan.
327
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,450
-Dad... -Too bad your phone ate it, eh?
328
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:00,720
Here's to a tech-free week.
329
00:16:00,850 --> 00:16:03,690
Oh, wait. You're here for the whole week? Awesome.
330
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:05,460
Us, too.
331
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,930
-I mean... -Smells like love, eh?
332
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,630
[Celine] Oh, Terry, leave them be.
333
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,070
Summer! Got some ice for you. A bucket of ice.
334
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,040
-[swimmer] Heads up, old man! -Ice incoming.
335
00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:16,640
-[Summer] Ah! -[Glenn] Oh wow!
336
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,710
-Thank God for free healthcare. -[Summer] Son of a--
337
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,510
-[groans] -[Terry] That's gonna hurt.
338
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,980
This will buff right out.
339
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:28,320
Mom, NASA called and they can see my bruise from space.
340
00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,150
Oh, except you're not getting any calls
341
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,890
because your phone took a stupid little swim.
342
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,890
It died doing what it loved most... Being dropped by me.
343
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,420
[Milly chuckles]
344
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,890
Speaking of dropped, your boyfriend gave me a concussion.
345
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:43,530
It is barely a contusion, and trust me, honey,
346
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:46,100
he feels worse about it than you do, okay?
347
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,340
Mm... I feel pretty bad.
348
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:50,500
Mm. Well, he's trying.
349
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,170
Too hard, maybe, but he is. So, give him a shot.
350
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:57,310
[sighs] Fine, I'll lower my standards.
351
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,780
[dramatic gasp] Never!
352
00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:04,490
What I do think you should do is put this on for tonight.
353
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,990
It'll look like you actually came here on purpose,
354
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:11,390
and you might get to first base with that cute Canadian.
355
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,260
Why are you like this?
356
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:15,600
Because one of us has to be, my darling.
357
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,270
Come on, get dressed. This'll be fun.
358
00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:24,240
Stupid Glenn.
359
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:27,670
[island beats playing]
360
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:33,880
[Milly] Wow! This looks fun.
361
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:36,080
-[Glenn] Yeah! -Wow.
362
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,090
Ahoy, eh!
363
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:41,490
Oh, look who's here.
364
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:47,090
-Just be yourself. -That's genuinely never worked.
365
00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:50,460
-Here we go! Virgin! -That's personal, Glenn!
366
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,070
Virginity is a social construct.
367
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,100
Predators aren't. Guard your glass, babe.
368
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,070
-Wait, that-- -[stammers] No, I meant...
369
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,510
Honey, he means the daiquiri.
370
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,050
Um, sure, Glenn. You know I love my dessert slushed.
371
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:07,710
-[splashes] -[gasps] I am so sorry!
372
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:10,720
-I am so, so, so sorry. -Oh, honey!
373
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:12,750
Glenn, let's just go get some club soda.
374
00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:15,290
-[Milly] Yes. -We're gonna get club soda!
375
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:17,420
-Okay. -I-- We're gonna get club soda.
376
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,490
Oh, baby! Do you just wanna go back to the room and change?
377
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,230
I'm actually pretty sick of change.
378
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,800
Honey!
379
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,240
-[sighs deeply] -[Crosby] Ahem...
380
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:39,380
I swear, if you come one foot closer...
381
00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:42,250
Whoa! Good thing I measure steps in metric.
382
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:44,920
Sure, dude.
383
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,350
Are all American girls this tough?
384
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,590
Are all Canadian boys this thirsty for red flags?
385
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:55,330
Honestly? Yes. We're very nice.
386
00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:59,170
Sorry, bad joke.
387
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,640
Wow! My first Canadian "sorry."
388
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:03,200
Plenty more where that came from.
389
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,640
[slight chuckle]
390
00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:11,150
-Parents are the worst. -Well, yours seem nice.
391
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,020
[scoffs] They can't go five seconds without mentioning
392
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:19,250
poutine or humble bragging about universal healthcare.
393
00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:21,460
And they're gonna flip
394
00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:24,120
when they find out I didn't make Triple-A.
395
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,490
Steaks, or... sports?
396
00:19:26,930 --> 00:19:31,100
Oh, hockey. Which I friggin' hate.
397
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:35,940
[mock gasp] Mon Dieu! Watch your sweet Canadian mouth.
398
00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:37,740
You think my mouth is sweet?
399
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,470
How sweet do you think it is?
400
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,180
-On a scale of one -Funny, funny.
401
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,680
-to maple syrup, -Funny... funny.
402
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:48,450
-where would you put it? -[laughs] Funny.
403
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:50,780
Listen, are you gonna come back
404
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,550
to this tragic pirate thing and help me win trivia,
405
00:19:53,690 --> 00:19:56,420
or... am I gonna have to pretend to know
406
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,430
more than five American states on my own?
407
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,190
Okay, this I need to hear!
408
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:02,060
Name five states.
409
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,600
Los Angeles, um...
410
00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:07,900
-What? -That's not a state.
411
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,410
Is that not a state? Frick! Um... No, hold on.
412
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,240
I'm not gonna give you hints or anything.
413
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:14,680
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
414
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:16,710
I'm not leaving until you name five states, so...
415
00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:22,680
Your sister hates me, Grayson.
416
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,050
She hates me.
417
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,420
Is this your first time dealing with teen daddy issues?
418
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,720
You're vice principal, man.
419
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:32,990
You know I'm not trying to replace your father, right?
420
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,960
He left when I was three, and he was a bum, so,
421
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,330
you don't have to worry about winning me over.
422
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:40,400
I get you, Glenn.
423
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,970
Effort doesn't look sexy, but it gets results.
424
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,270
You're an unusual child.
425
00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:48,140
Okay...
426
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,640
Wanna land a permanent contract with the Martin family?
427
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:52,350
Summer's your key demographic,
428
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,550
and you're marketing yourself all wrong.
429
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,820
I'm listening.
430
00:20:56,950 --> 00:21:00,190
Teen girls can smell beta from miles away. They crave alpha.
431
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,790
Okay... Confused, but continue.
432
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:10,460
Give us less New Balance Dad, more Ryan Gosling in Drive .
433
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,030
Mystery. Danger. Toothpick.
434
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,200
Where am I gonna get a toothpick?
435
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:20,840
Okay, uh... let's recalibrate.
436
00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:24,750
Channel Regina George, not Gretchen Wieners.
437
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,050
Stop trying to make fetch happen.
438
00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:30,920
Stop sucking up to Summer.
439
00:21:31,050 --> 00:21:33,190
Start busting her balls.
440
00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:35,020
[chuckles] Ha.
441
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,620
Fist bump.
442
00:21:39,890 --> 00:21:43,200
-You're an unusual man, Glenn. -Yeah, thank you.
443
00:21:43,330 --> 00:21:44,500
[island music playing]
444
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:54,140
[microphone squealing]
445
00:21:54,270 --> 00:21:58,410
Ladies and gentlemen, guests of the resort!
446
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:04,990
Tonight, we continue a sacred El Dorado tradition.
447
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,560
Cannonball Carnage Classic!
448
00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:11,160
[guests cheering]
449
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,660
A bold challenge has been thrown down...
450
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:19,130
Glenn Winters versus Summer Martin!
451
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:21,270
[crowd reacting]
452
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,500
"Summer", me?
453
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,710
Glenn had half a beer and went rogue!
454
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,110
- Ja! Finish him, Fraulein! -[raucous laugh]
455
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,310
Shocker!
456
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,380
-The German loves war, guys. -Okay...
457
00:22:31,510 --> 00:22:33,950
Take him down, Summer! No mercy, eh!
458
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,320
[Milly] Yeah!
459
00:22:35,450 --> 00:22:37,620
[crowd chanting] Summer! Summer!
460
00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,920
Summer! Summer...
461
00:22:42,590 --> 00:22:44,620
Dorado demands blood.
462
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:49,330
Come, Summer! Approach your ball.
463
00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:53,330
[crowd continues chanting]
464
00:22:53,970 --> 00:22:56,540
You get out of your shell and you into that ball!
465
00:22:56,670 --> 00:22:59,110
-Come on, you can do this. -[Terry] Go on, Summer!
466
00:23:00,370 --> 00:23:02,380
It smells like gym class feet in here.
467
00:23:02,510 --> 00:23:05,110
Remember, padre, alpha energy. Alpha, okay?
468
00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:08,250
Right, right, right. Hey! Are you gonna loosen up,
469
00:23:08,380 --> 00:23:11,820
or you want me to send you a calendar invite for playtime?
470
00:23:11,950 --> 00:23:13,290
-Ooh! -[crowd jeering]
471
00:23:13,420 --> 00:23:15,960
Excuse me? I said I'd get in the dumb bubble, didn't I?
472
00:23:16,090 --> 00:23:18,260
I'm just saying, why don't you live dangerously for once
473
00:23:18,390 --> 00:23:22,000
and skip the color-coded lists? Hold these. I want a good grip.
474
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:24,870
It's on, old man! I'm about to code you into the ER!
475
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Oh, I like it! Talking trash! Let's go. Come on, help me out.
476
00:23:29,570 --> 00:23:31,610
-[Crosby] You got it? -Yeah, great.
477
00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:33,770
-Okay, Glenn... -Come on, get me in. Push!
478
00:23:33,910 --> 00:23:36,640
-Prepare to die, Winters! -Let him have it, honey!
479
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:38,080
[Terry] Go get him!
480
00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:39,610
[Dieter] Come on, Summer!
481
00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:41,180
Still thinking that's your guy?
482
00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:43,280
-Glenn? Oh, my goodness... -[Glenn] Push.
483
00:23:43,420 --> 00:23:46,490
I'm trying this new thing called "commitment."
484
00:23:46,620 --> 00:23:48,090
-[Summer] Let's go! -Bring the mayhem!
485
00:23:48,220 --> 00:23:49,620
Go, goblin mode!
486
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,460
I'll goblin your ass!
487
00:23:51,590 --> 00:23:53,090
Did she say "gobbelin" his ass?
488
00:23:53,230 --> 00:23:56,130
You can't handle me!
489
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:57,700
You can't handle me!
490
00:23:57,830 --> 00:24:00,200
[Summer and Glenn straining]
491
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,170
[crowd cheering]
492
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:06,310
-[Summer] He's really annoying! -[Glenn] I'm gonna knock you!
493
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,310
[Summer] Come on, Summer. Mind over matter! Ouch!
494
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,640
[laughs]
495
00:24:12,380 --> 00:24:17,220
Can you smell-la-la-la what Glenn is cooking?
496
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,190
Smell this! [straining]
497
00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:22,760
[Glenn] You're all right!
498
00:24:22,890 --> 00:24:24,690
[Crosby] Come on, you got this.
499
00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:27,490
You're on fire, girl!
500
00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:29,360
What? Where?
501
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:32,670
No, it's a compliment, Summer. You're doing great.
502
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,440
No! Fire isn't great, Glenn! Stop, drop and roll!
503
00:24:35,570 --> 00:24:37,800
[Glenn] No, watch out, Summer! Watch out! No, no, no!
504
00:24:37,940 --> 00:24:39,910
[Dieter] Oh no! Oh no!
505
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,270
-[Summer screams] -[guests reacting]
506
00:24:41,410 --> 00:24:42,940
Oh! Oh no.
507
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,640
-Oh! Ooh, no. -Oh my...
508
00:24:44,780 --> 00:24:47,680
[Milly] Oh my God! Baby, are you okay? Sweetheart?
509
00:24:47,810 --> 00:24:49,420
It's okay. It might not be that...
510
00:24:49,550 --> 00:24:50,950
-[flame whooshing] -bad.
511
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,320
-[Glenn] Wow, wow, wow! Fire! -[Celine] No! Not the cocktails!
512
00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:57,720
-[Bishop] Fire! Fire! -[Dieter] Holy Hindenburg!
513
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:59,560
[Celine] Oh God, no!
514
00:25:00,890 --> 00:25:03,030
[hushed] Glenn, this is really bad.
515
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,930
Does anyone have an extinguisher?
516
00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:08,130
-[Dieter] Oh, the humanity! -[Grayson] Holy crap.
517
00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:11,040
[Milly] Okay, um, why don't we back away from the flames?
518
00:25:11,170 --> 00:25:14,240
Come on, we're going, we're going... [yells] Grayson!
519
00:25:14,370 --> 00:25:16,810
[sirens wailing]
520
00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:22,080
[pop music playing over headphones]
521
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,900
[Glenn from above] Arr, matey!
522
00:25:35,030 --> 00:25:36,830
Do you wanna be the captain this time?
523
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,700
[Milly] Ooh, only if you keep the snorkel on.
524
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:41,470
Oh my God. Absolutely not.
525
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,770
[Glenn and Milly chuckle]
526
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,610
Grayson, I will pay you for your headphones.
527
00:25:46,740 --> 00:25:48,510
[scoffs] With what money?
528
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,140
And besides, I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.
529
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,180
First one to the loungers dominates the economy.
530
00:25:53,310 --> 00:25:55,080
[Glenn] Permission to come aboard?
531
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:56,850
I finished swabbing the poop deck.
532
00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:58,690
- [Milly] Ooh! -Speaking of dominates...
533
00:25:58,820 --> 00:25:59,990
Good luck.
534
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,420
There's gotta be a midnight boat to Mexico.
535
00:26:05,090 --> 00:26:08,700
Okay, I'm gonna find someplace less scarring to sleep.
536
00:26:08,830 --> 00:26:12,070
-[door opening, closing] -[pop music continues]
537
00:26:13,570 --> 00:26:14,900
[birds chirping]
538
00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:19,840
-[alarm beeps] -[spy music plays]
539
00:26:30,750 --> 00:26:32,150
[zipper closes]
540
00:26:33,850 --> 00:26:35,890
-[bell chimes] -[buckle clicks]
541
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,260
-[Grayson grunts] -[ninja star slicing sound]
542
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:45,130
-[water splashes softly] -[birds chirping]
543
00:27:01,110 --> 00:27:03,580
And on the seventh day, he monopolized.
544
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,220
[Danny clears throat] Mr. Grayson, Shirley Temple?
545
00:27:07,350 --> 00:27:10,260
Make it a double. It's gonna be a long day.
546
00:27:10,390 --> 00:27:12,860
[lazy island vibe music]
547
00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:21,070
[plastic flaps]
548
00:27:21,570 --> 00:27:24,540
See? I can be spontaneous... -[engine revving]
549
00:27:24,670 --> 00:27:26,570
If spontaneous combustion counts.
550
00:27:26,710 --> 00:27:28,680
[engine stops]
551
00:27:31,510 --> 00:27:32,710
[girl whoops]
552
00:27:34,580 --> 00:27:38,080
All right, later, Trevon! You absolute chode!
553
00:27:38,220 --> 00:27:42,960
[whooping] Oh, my God! That was crazy. Really.
554
00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:45,430
-[sniffs] -Whoa!
555
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,390
[engine revs]
556
00:27:47,890 --> 00:27:50,860
Did I miss Fyre Festival? Again?
557
00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:53,370
It was an accident.
558
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:57,070
Oh. Damn, girl! Glad someone here knows how to party.
559
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,340
-It was lit. -I was supposed to meet up
560
00:27:59,470 --> 00:28:01,540
with my old man yesterday, but I got sidetracked
561
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,040
by that adults-only place down at the other beach.
562
00:28:04,180 --> 00:28:06,980
[squeals] Banana-hammocked himbos. My kryptonite.
563
00:28:07,110 --> 00:28:11,450
-Sounds festive. -Yeah.
564
00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:16,260
Technically, this was my mom's new terrible boyfriend's fault.
565
00:28:16,390 --> 00:28:20,890
Ooh, do tell! I love a villain origin story.
566
00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,760
Most girls would key his Tesla, call it a day.
567
00:28:24,260 --> 00:28:28,070
This guy, he's just so... beneath her.
568
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,940
Then get beneath him. Bang him into Breakup Town.
569
00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:33,910
[scoffs] Gross! I don't dumpster dive!
570
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:38,910
[laughs] Neither do I! No, but seriously.
571
00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:41,820
Don't let Mom's latest dick ruin paradise.
572
00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:44,420
Anyway... [clears throat]
573
00:28:44,550 --> 00:28:46,890
Hit me up if you wanna launch a family coup.
574
00:28:47,020 --> 00:28:49,020
Um, honestly, it'll help me dodge mine.
575
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,460
Toodles!
576
00:28:52,890 --> 00:28:56,900
How about see you never, Harbor Ho.
577
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,370
[island music playing]
578
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:09,110
Hey, kid, are...
579
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,780
Are you using all these chairs?
580
00:29:12,910 --> 00:29:15,880
"Using" is subjective. You got Venmo?
581
00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:17,780
Who made you Secretary of Seating?
582
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,490
Thanks for stopping by. Cash or crypto only.
583
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:23,220
How about a peak at lefty?
584
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,730
Reducing women to a single boob is why we lost the midterms.
585
00:29:26,860 --> 00:29:29,360
Thanks for the feminist lecture.
586
00:29:29,860 --> 00:29:31,400
[Bishop clears throat]
587
00:29:33,770 --> 00:29:38,070
Mr. Martin, you are aware that the hoarding of loungers
588
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,970
violates resort policy.
589
00:29:41,110 --> 00:29:43,640
You built the system, Bishop, I just broke it.
590
00:29:43,780 --> 00:29:48,050
You are treading very dangerous waters, young man.
591
00:29:48,180 --> 00:29:51,280
Well, lucky for me, I brought floaties.
592
00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:52,990
-Hm! -Thank you.
593
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,820
-Uh, cash? -In the box, please.
594
00:29:57,090 --> 00:29:58,320
Thank you.
595
00:30:03,330 --> 00:30:06,330
-Mm! Love hotel eggs. -[Milly] Hm!
596
00:30:08,070 --> 00:30:10,270
And where have you been, young man?
597
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,110
Relax, Mom. Treat yourself to some extra whip on that venti.
598
00:30:16,310 --> 00:30:17,610
What?
599
00:30:18,510 --> 00:30:20,050
[chuckles] Okay...
600
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,550
What? Like your family's never exploded a hut?
601
00:30:27,690 --> 00:30:29,190
Oh yeah.
602
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,990
Sorry, everybody, if we ruined your evening with our balls.
603
00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:34,360
Flaming balls, no less.
604
00:30:34,490 --> 00:30:36,030
Can everyone please stop saying "balls"?
605
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:37,630
[hushed] Sorry. Sorry.
606
00:30:39,570 --> 00:30:43,870
-Dad? Hey! Oh my God! Hi! -Sadie! Sadie, you're here.
607
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,370
Oh, my goodness! Oh, I missed you!
608
00:30:46,510 --> 00:30:48,070
Sadie, hi!
609
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:51,410
We... totally knew you were coming!
610
00:30:51,540 --> 00:30:53,850
Well, I wanted my best girls all together
611
00:30:53,980 --> 00:30:57,080
for this very special trip.
612
00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:58,420
Sorry, buddy. No offense.
613
00:30:58,550 --> 00:31:01,320
It's okay. I'm post-gender and SPF 50.
614
00:31:01,450 --> 00:31:06,630
Oh, you must be Summer. I feel like I already know you.
615
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,230
I can't imagine why.
616
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,430
-[laughing loudly] -[Glenn] Sit, sit, sit.
617
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,130
So, what happened? You were supposed to be here days ago.
618
00:31:13,270 --> 00:31:16,700
I know. I got so tied up launching this, like,
619
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,340
charity startup thing.
620
00:31:18,470 --> 00:31:22,280
It's microloans for rescue animals. I mean, you get it.
621
00:31:22,410 --> 00:31:24,780
[Glenn laughs] Look at my Sadie changing the world!
622
00:31:24,910 --> 00:31:26,680
[chuckles] I am.
623
00:31:27,110 --> 00:31:28,780
Oh, Summer, totally forgot.
624
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,350
I wanted to apologize to you with apology pancakes,
625
00:31:33,490 --> 00:31:37,490
extra chocolate syrup there because, you know, guilt.
626
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:39,860
-Great. -And that's not all.
627
00:31:39,990 --> 00:31:41,560
[clears throat] Summer, do you remember
628
00:31:41,690 --> 00:31:44,260
our little epic bumper ball battle?
629
00:31:44,830 --> 00:31:48,500
-Do I remember? -You're not gonna believe this!
630
00:31:49,970 --> 00:31:52,040
-I won a prize! -What?
631
00:31:52,170 --> 00:31:54,570
My third-degree burns weren't trophy enough?
632
00:31:54,710 --> 00:31:56,580
Oh, sweetheart, they were second-degree at best.
633
00:31:56,710 --> 00:31:58,910
No, no, no, it's way better. Check this out.
634
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:02,880
A swim for two at Cetacean Station
635
00:32:03,020 --> 00:32:06,720
with El Dorado's most experienced dolphin
636
00:32:06,850 --> 00:32:11,120
named Bubbles who's, like, 98 in dolphin years.
637
00:32:11,260 --> 00:32:14,360
That means Bubbles survived the Titanic! The movie.
638
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:19,030
So, who's your lucky plus-one gonna be, Mr. Winter?
639
00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:20,500
-Who should I take? -[Milly] Hm?
640
00:32:20,630 --> 00:32:23,440
[Glenn] Who should I take? Eeny, meeny, miny...
641
00:32:23,570 --> 00:32:27,140
I'm going with my bumper-ball buddy, obvee, Summer!
642
00:32:27,270 --> 00:32:30,080
-We're swimming with a dolphin. -[Sadie laughs loudly]
643
00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:33,150
[Milly whispers] Have fun with Free Willy's side piece.
644
00:32:34,110 --> 00:32:35,520
[excited crowd noise]
645
00:32:35,650 --> 00:32:38,280
Are you sure you don't want Mom? She lives for an audience.
646
00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:40,890
Or Sadie? She traveled all this way to see you.
647
00:32:41,020 --> 00:32:42,320
I owe you this, Summer. Okay?
648
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:45,220
I'm gonna win you over if it's the last thing I do!
649
00:32:47,290 --> 00:32:49,600
[MC] Ladies, gentlemen and non-marine mammals,
650
00:32:49,730 --> 00:32:53,430
please find your seats. The show will start soon. Ha!
651
00:32:53,570 --> 00:32:54,870
[crowd laughing]
652
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,340
Seriously, I'm good watching from the sidelines.
653
00:32:57,470 --> 00:32:59,370
Summer, chill out, would you?
654
00:32:59,510 --> 00:33:01,610
It's just, like, a really big fish.
655
00:33:01,740 --> 00:33:04,580
You've got nothing to worry about. This dolphin is a pro.
656
00:33:06,410 --> 00:33:08,950
There you go! You ready? [laughs] Look at us!
657
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,120
We're the dolphin people!
658
00:33:11,250 --> 00:33:13,420
[Glenn laughs]
659
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,390
[Glenn chirps like a dolphin]
660
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,290
-[stomach growls] -Oh God...
661
00:33:20,730 --> 00:33:23,400
[MC] Welcome, everyone, to El Dorado's pride and joy,
662
00:33:23,530 --> 00:33:26,030
- Cetacean Station! -[crowd cheers]
663
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:31,340
The Caribbean's best dolphin show! Whoo! Look at that!
664
00:33:31,870 --> 00:33:36,740
[Glenn excited] Jumpy! Splashy! We're in the splash zone!
665
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,980
[MC] Hey, everyone! We have a treat for you today.
666
00:33:40,110 --> 00:33:41,250
Yeah, meet Bubbles.
667
00:33:41,380 --> 00:33:42,780
Here she is,
668
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,950
Our most beloved dolphin. She's 98 years young,
669
00:33:46,090 --> 00:33:50,660
and retiring in dos dias. That's "two days" in Spanish.
670
00:33:50,790 --> 00:33:53,030
-Wow! -A little Espan-y'all...
671
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,830
[all laughing]
672
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:56,900
-[Summer] Oh God. - Say hi, Bubbles!
673
00:33:57,030 --> 00:33:58,460
Do the wavey thing! I love it.
674
00:33:58,600 --> 00:33:59,970
-Whoa! - Look at that! Wavey!
675
00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:04,170
Come on, Wavey. That's my baby... Bubbles.
676
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,940
Ew! Smells like Bubbles is two days from death,
677
00:34:07,070 --> 00:34:08,440
if you know what I mean.
678
00:34:08,570 --> 00:34:11,410
[MC] Do it, do it! Oh! Look at that.
679
00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:16,220
-Pretty sure that's me. [moans] -What? Oh no, no, no...
680
00:34:16,350 --> 00:34:18,650
Those pancakes I got you, they...
681
00:34:18,790 --> 00:34:20,890
they were supposed to be gluten free, weren't they?
682
00:34:21,020 --> 00:34:22,320
-Glenn! -I'm sorry.
683
00:34:22,460 --> 00:34:24,620
They were guilt pancakes.
684
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,790
Doesn't gluten cancel out guilt?
685
00:34:26,930 --> 00:34:27,830
-No. -[water bubbling]
686
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,460
[Glenn gags]
687
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:33,300
[MC] Guys, I'm seeing some unusual underwater turbulence.
688
00:34:33,430 --> 00:34:35,470
Glenn, there's more coming, my biological weapon.
689
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,770
Just try and hold it. Hold it in. [gagging]
690
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,470
I'm so sorry, Bubbles. It's a medical condition.
691
00:34:41,610 --> 00:34:43,040
[MC] All right, everyone,
692
00:34:43,180 --> 00:34:44,610
Bubbles seems to be reacting strangely to something.
693
00:34:44,740 --> 00:34:47,210
Let's see if we can calm her down.
694
00:34:47,350 --> 00:34:48,780
-[Bubbles squealing] -Hey, my girl.
695
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,620
Hey, hey. Deep, calming breaths.
696
00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:53,150
In the mouth, out the spout.
697
00:34:53,290 --> 00:34:54,750
-[Glenn groaning] -Oh my God.
698
00:34:54,890 --> 00:34:56,690
Dolphins are very sensitive creatures.
699
00:34:56,820 --> 00:34:58,290
This is a very delicate ecosystem!
700
00:34:58,420 --> 00:35:01,830
Oh, okay. Sorry, everybody.
701
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,700
There was a lot more zucchini in that omelet than I thought!
702
00:35:04,830 --> 00:35:06,770
Stop trying to take credit for my farts.
703
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:09,100
-I'm trying to help you out. -You're not helping.
704
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,840
Yeah, sorry, everybody! Oh, gosh, I...
705
00:35:11,970 --> 00:35:15,610
I drank some tap water right out of a tap! Glug, glug, glug.
706
00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:19,950
-[Bubbles moaning, chittering] -Bubbles? Hey, hey... Bubbles?
707
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,550
Oh, mein Gott! Ze dolphin is having ze stroke!
708
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,420
-[Bubbles moaning] -[crowd reacting]
709
00:35:25,550 --> 00:35:27,190
Bubbl-- Kimberly?
710
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,960
Oh God, no! Oh my God!
711
00:35:29,090 --> 00:35:30,990
I never told her how I felt! Kimberly!
712
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,630
I thought her name was Bubbles.
713
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,690
That's her stage name because she's a star.
714
00:35:34,830 --> 00:35:37,430
You think the Gaga family named their daughter Lady?
715
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,700
-[crowd gasping] -[Woman] That dolphin's dead!
716
00:35:39,830 --> 00:35:41,300
-[crowd gasping] -Oh my God! Kimberly?
717
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,270
We literally manslaughtered a dolphin!
718
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,000
I've literally farted Kimberly to death!
719
00:35:45,140 --> 00:35:47,710
Kimberly? Oh my God! What do I tell her grandkids?
720
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,280
-She has grandkids? - I told them
721
00:35:49,410 --> 00:35:50,810
I loved their grandmother,
722
00:35:50,940 --> 00:35:52,710
but I couldn't do anything because she's a dolphin,
723
00:35:52,850 --> 00:35:54,480
and dudes and dolphins don't go together!
724
00:35:54,610 --> 00:35:56,050
Okay, okay! Cut it out, man!
725
00:35:56,180 --> 00:35:58,820
You're making this way weirder than it already is. Just stop!
726
00:35:58,950 --> 00:36:01,050
You know what, Glenn? We have to save her.
727
00:36:01,190 --> 00:36:02,460
Yeah, we have to.
728
00:36:02,590 --> 00:36:05,630
-Ready? Three, two, one. -Yeah. Yes.
729
00:36:06,590 --> 00:36:08,860
Okay, Bubbles, here I come.
730
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,260
[Summer] Swim faster! I'll meet you on the other side.
731
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,370
Save her for me, please!
732
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:15,470
Here I come, Bubbles!
733
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,840
[sobbing] I've always cared about her.
734
00:36:17,970 --> 00:36:19,510
From the day I met her.
735
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:24,410
-I'm gonna save you, Bubbles. -[sobbing] Kimberly!
736
00:36:24,980 --> 00:36:27,480
-Be careful with her. -Bad day to be a dolphin.
737
00:36:27,610 --> 00:36:30,250
Get her up, come on. Okay.
738
00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:32,490
We got her. Okay, baby girl.
739
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:37,360
Okay, all right. Summer's emissions took you out,
740
00:36:37,490 --> 00:36:39,230
now my emissions are gonna bring you back.
741
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:40,830
All right, Summer,
742
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,200
-I'll breathe into the blowhole. - Are you marine biologists?
743
00:36:43,330 --> 00:36:44,960
-You're gonna compress. -Compress what, Glenn?
744
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:47,830
-She's mostly cartilage. -Then compress cartilage
745
00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:50,240
like you've never compressed cartilage before. You ready?
746
00:36:50,370 --> 00:36:51,600
-Yeah. -Okay, baby girl.
747
00:36:51,740 --> 00:36:53,740
Stay with us. Here we go.
748
00:36:53,870 --> 00:36:59,310
[voice echoes] Okay. One... two, three.
749
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,220
-[squelches] -[blowing]
750
00:37:05,350 --> 00:37:06,950
[Summer strains]
751
00:37:08,150 --> 00:37:09,620
Stay with us, Kimberly!
752
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,460
Come on, Kimberly. Compress! Compress!
753
00:37:12,590 --> 00:37:15,360
Don't go toward the light!
754
00:37:18,830 --> 00:37:21,730
-[Glenn gags, blowing] -Oh, that's unpleasant.
755
00:37:26,670 --> 00:37:28,440
Compress! Compress!
756
00:37:28,570 --> 00:37:31,610
Goddamn, Kimberly, you're so slippery!
757
00:37:31,740 --> 00:37:34,810
[Glenn] Okay, come on. We're good. Come on, baby!
758
00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:37,220
[Milly] I guess this is why you get the travel insurance?
759
00:37:37,350 --> 00:37:40,850
Pretty sure tongue-in-blowhole voids the policy, Mom.
760
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,960
Come on, girl, stay with us!
761
00:37:43,090 --> 00:37:44,790
Yes, Glenn. I think you're crushing it!
762
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,660
Keep going, keep going! Keep blowing! Blow!
763
00:37:48,330 --> 00:37:50,900
[retching breaths]
764
00:37:51,030 --> 00:37:53,500
Compress! Compress!
765
00:37:55,070 --> 00:37:56,640
[blows, retches]
766
00:37:56,770 --> 00:38:00,640
Am I just a bit dehydrated, or is this kinda hot?
767
00:38:00,770 --> 00:38:03,680
It's like Shark Week meets Fifty Shades .
768
00:38:09,550 --> 00:38:11,350
[spurting]
769
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,320
-[Kimberly chittering] -[MC] Oh my God!
770
00:38:13,450 --> 00:38:14,950
[Glenn] Take a deep breath!
771
00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:17,460
-Oh, my God! -[crowd cheering wildly]
772
00:38:21,490 --> 00:38:22,860
What just happened?
773
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,630
[Glenn] We did it!
774
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,000
She's alive. Oh, she's alive! Oh, baby girl!
775
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,040
It's a flipping miracle!
776
00:38:32,070 --> 00:38:33,070
[Terry] Yeah!
777
00:38:34,710 --> 00:38:36,440
Told you I'd win you over.
778
00:38:36,580 --> 00:38:39,450
All it took was a little mouth-to-blowhole.
779
00:38:39,580 --> 00:38:41,650
You really need to work on your phrasing.
780
00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:43,350
I did that on porpoise.
781
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,520
[chuckles] Porpoise!
782
00:38:45,650 --> 00:38:48,590
Milly! We did it!
783
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,360
It worked!
784
00:38:52,490 --> 00:38:54,790
The dolphin lifesavers!
785
00:38:54,930 --> 00:38:57,130
[Kimberly chittering happily]
786
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,370
[Glenn, whooping] I saved that dolphin! Did you see that?
787
00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:04,340
Uh-uh-uh! We saved that dolphin.
788
00:39:04,470 --> 00:39:08,040
We saved that dolphin. You were so good at those compressions.
789
00:39:08,170 --> 00:39:10,110
[Summer] Thanks again for covering for me.
790
00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:12,450
[Glenn] No worries! That's what families do, kid.
791
00:39:12,950 --> 00:39:17,680
But... how are you so fine with being fart-famous?
792
00:39:17,820 --> 00:39:19,620
Well, you grow up a homeschooled bassoonist,
793
00:39:19,750 --> 00:39:23,190
you learn to live with the looks and the laughs.
794
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,620
This is probably TMI, but my first marriage broke up
795
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,830
because I tried to dictate everything.
796
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:32,160
How we looked as a family. How other families look at us.
797
00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:35,700
Turns out, life is a lot more fun if you just stop caring.
798
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,840
Even if that means your mugshot now hangs at Cetacean Station.
799
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:45,640
Look, Summer, whatever this is...
800
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,720
your mom makes me feel like I'm good enough.
801
00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:57,520
Sometimes, she even makes me feel like I'm great, and...
802
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,690
I would like to hold onto that.
803
00:40:01,990 --> 00:40:07,000
I know you're trying, Glenn. It's low-key cool.
804
00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:10,870
Which is insane because... bassoon.
805
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,570
-Yeah, bassoons are weird. -[Crosby] Summer!
806
00:40:14,710 --> 00:40:18,780
[Glenn] Ooh, look who's staging a rescue. [chuckles]
807
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,510
Go! Fly toward the light.
808
00:40:21,650 --> 00:40:23,750
You've suffered enough, my child.
809
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,490
[gentle music playing]
810
00:40:33,190 --> 00:40:36,500
[Crosby] So, how does it feel to finally vacation? As a verb?
811
00:40:36,630 --> 00:40:40,170
[Summer] Oh, mildly terrifying. Relaxation feels like a scam.
812
00:40:40,300 --> 00:40:42,000
[Crosby chuckles]
813
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:45,540
Sounds like you grew up in one of those houses where messcore
814
00:40:45,670 --> 00:40:47,110
was the default setting.
815
00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:50,680
Always. And my mom is basically a kid.
816
00:40:51,140 --> 00:40:55,110
She's the best, but... someone had to adult.
817
00:40:55,650 --> 00:40:58,480
Sorry! Uptight-girl rant over.
818
00:40:59,050 --> 00:41:02,120
Uptight? You're a one-woman wrecking crew.
819
00:41:03,420 --> 00:41:05,120
Summer, you blew up a tiki hut,
820
00:41:05,260 --> 00:41:07,160
nearly assassinated a dolphin...
821
00:41:07,890 --> 00:41:10,660
-Are you intimidated, Crosby? -Try "inspired."
822
00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:13,830
-Shut up. -I'm serious.
823
00:41:13,970 --> 00:41:17,170
If you can weather all those things and survive, then...
824
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,810
maybe I can tell my dad I don't wanna play hockey next year.
825
00:41:20,940 --> 00:41:25,610
You can. If I can survive my family, so can you.
826
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:27,750
Live your truth.
827
00:41:29,450 --> 00:41:34,990
Well, truthfully... I wanted to kiss you last night.
828
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,520
But, you know, you were on fire.
829
00:41:39,530 --> 00:41:42,830
Well, no flames now, so...
830
00:41:49,100 --> 00:41:51,000
Hello, peasants!
831
00:41:52,870 --> 00:41:56,310
[raucous laugh] 'Sup, Arsonista! Eh-bae!
832
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,650
Mind if I crash whatever sad dry hump this was?
833
00:41:59,780 --> 00:42:00,980
You're topless.
834
00:42:01,110 --> 00:42:03,550
I'm wearing a sign. It's called fashion.
835
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,990
Anyway, Crosby, I'm freshly single
836
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:11,190
if you wanna pivot from Zamboni to Zambone-me...
837
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,660
-Oh my God. -[Gary] Miss Winters!
838
00:42:15,330 --> 00:42:17,230
Miss Winters, this is your final warning!
839
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,330
Oh, calm your nips, Gary! You love it.
840
00:42:21,230 --> 00:42:24,640
Okay. Later, puck boy. Stay basic, pyro. [yelps]
841
00:42:24,770 --> 00:42:29,070
That sign is resort property! Miss Winters! Miss Winters!
842
00:42:29,210 --> 00:42:32,680
Insane to believe that Glenn created that!
843
00:42:32,810 --> 00:42:36,120
Yeah, your sister's a whole thing!
844
00:42:36,250 --> 00:42:39,720
-[scoffs] She is not my sister. -Not yet.
845
00:42:39,850 --> 00:42:42,790
But Glenn flew her in special. He's down bad.
846
00:42:47,330 --> 00:42:50,800
I gotta go get ready for yoga. I'll see you later.
847
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,700
Okay, um... sure.
848
00:43:06,410 --> 00:43:08,410
Could somebody give me a code for the safe?
849
00:43:08,550 --> 00:43:11,350
[voice distorts] This is top-shelf snorkel gear.
850
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:16,190
I wanted my best girls together
851
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:20,330
-for this very special trip. -[voice distorts]
852
00:43:21,930 --> 00:43:25,230
I wanna hang on to that.
853
00:43:25,700 --> 00:43:28,570
James Bond, just slightly more dangerous.
854
00:43:29,570 --> 00:43:31,800
James Bond wouldn't stash his sleep apnea strips
855
00:43:31,940 --> 00:43:34,210
with his flippers, Glenn.
856
00:43:34,340 --> 00:43:36,240
[beeps, unlocks]
857
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:46,120
Gosh, no.
858
00:43:46,250 --> 00:43:48,390
No, no, no! This cannot happen. This cannot happen!
859
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,260
No kidding, Nancy Shrew.
860
00:43:50,390 --> 00:43:53,090
Sadie? What the hell are you doing?
861
00:43:53,230 --> 00:43:54,990
I'm celebrating your mom's upcoming divorce!
862
00:43:55,130 --> 00:43:57,160
Glenn wants to wife up my mom!
863
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:00,400
A woman who's boxed wine and drugstore mascara,
864
00:44:00,530 --> 00:44:02,670
all wrapped up in an abandoned vision board.
865
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,740
Hey! You're the one to talk! Your dad's the king of cringe!
866
00:44:06,870 --> 00:44:09,240
If they get married, Glenn'll be dorking around our house
867
00:44:09,380 --> 00:44:11,580
shooting me unironic finger guns. Forever!
868
00:44:11,710 --> 00:44:16,380
Yeah, and you know what's extra vile? This is my inheritance.
869
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,720
Oma smuggled it past Checkpoint Charlie in nature's coin purse.
870
00:44:20,150 --> 00:44:22,420
That's one way to part the Iron Curtain, am I right?
871
00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:25,160
Okay. Well, let's leave Oma's purse out of this.
872
00:44:25,290 --> 00:44:26,490
He's thoughtful,
873
00:44:26,630 --> 00:44:29,260
so he'll want to propose at the Vice Principal Awards.
874
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,970
Big stage, karaoke... My mom's actual religion.
875
00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:35,600
Oh! So then we agree? It's sabotage time.
876
00:44:35,730 --> 00:44:38,440
[gasps] It's like The Parent Trap , but we'll make it evil.
877
00:44:38,570 --> 00:44:40,040
Okay, so what's the plan?
878
00:44:40,170 --> 00:44:42,370
[scoffs] Summer, chill. This is very in my wheelhouse.
879
00:44:42,510 --> 00:44:45,010
Welcome to the sisterhood of the traveling homewreck.
880
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,050
Take a seat in my office.
881
00:45:00,530 --> 00:45:05,060
Deep breath, ladies. Reach for the sky.
882
00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:09,770
Feel that stretch deep in your spine.
883
00:45:09,900 --> 00:45:11,900
[Milly sighs happily]
884
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,440
Finally, some girl time.
885
00:45:13,570 --> 00:45:16,810
I know. You and me, getting bendy on a Caribbean beach.
886
00:45:16,940 --> 00:45:18,910
-Who would've thunk? -Mm.
887
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,450
Forward fold...
888
00:45:22,750 --> 00:45:25,550
Open the hips...
889
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,490
I still can't believe we're here.
890
00:45:28,620 --> 00:45:31,960
I mean, it's been...
891
00:45:32,090 --> 00:45:34,030
-shockingly tolerable. -[Milly gasps]
892
00:45:34,460 --> 00:45:37,200
You'd better be careful. Sounds like you're having fun.
893
00:45:37,330 --> 00:45:40,130
Join me now for downward dog.
894
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,970
[Milly] I needed this after the flight.
895
00:45:46,110 --> 00:45:51,610
Transition into baby... [sighs] ...cobra.
896
00:45:51,740 --> 00:45:58,250
Breathing through it, enjoying each breath... together.
897
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,920
Release the pelvisss...
898
00:46:02,050 --> 00:46:05,790
That is where we hold all of our tension.
899
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,730
You see, ladies, flexibility is a virtue.
900
00:46:09,860 --> 00:46:13,670
One we can come and celebrate every day.
901
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,030
Sometimes more than once.
902
00:46:16,170 --> 00:46:18,100
The man should be on a watchlist.
903
00:46:18,540 --> 00:46:20,740
He's like if HPV had a timeshare.
904
00:46:20,870 --> 00:46:22,640
-[Summer grimaces] -[slight scoff]
905
00:46:23,410 --> 00:46:25,480
There was a point where I would've followed that
906
00:46:25,610 --> 00:46:28,050
gas-station boner pill right into the sunset.
907
00:46:28,180 --> 00:46:30,380
And ghosted him right before sunrise.
908
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,850
[laughs] Hey, I owe you to one of those guys.
909
00:46:33,990 --> 00:46:35,920
-Mom! -It's true.
910
00:46:36,050 --> 00:46:41,460
Find yourself in an easy pose and just relax.
911
00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:46,730
Oh yeah. Ooh, yeah!
912
00:46:47,170 --> 00:46:50,740
-But now you have Glenn. -He's less...
913
00:46:51,270 --> 00:46:55,170
walking crime spree, and more emotional support pug.
914
00:46:55,310 --> 00:46:57,510
Genetically weak and prone to snoring?
915
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:58,840
No!
916
00:46:59,580 --> 00:47:04,120
Kind. He actually listens to me when I ramble.
917
00:47:05,780 --> 00:47:08,120
Usually, you would've already gotten bored and rambled off.
918
00:47:08,250 --> 00:47:11,620
Mm, yeah, Milly's famous four-month expiration date?
919
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,230
I'm aware, sweetheart.
920
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:19,330
Join me now in a shavanasa... or whatever that means to you.
921
00:47:21,930 --> 00:47:25,900
I wonder if Glenn needs someone who's a little... easier.
922
00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:27,870
But then,
923
00:47:28,010 --> 00:47:30,940
it's been a long time since I thought about settling down.
924
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,950
But, Mom, I don't-- I don't want you to settle.
925
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,160
Wait a second, this isn't a bit.
926
00:47:45,290 --> 00:47:46,930
Sweetheart, you really don't like Glenn?
927
00:47:47,060 --> 00:47:49,390
No, I... I do.
928
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,330
Uhm, just not...
929
00:47:54,770 --> 00:47:57,200
Not for me?
930
00:48:00,540 --> 00:48:06,350
If you'd like, join me now for three ohms.
931
00:48:08,850 --> 00:48:10,980
Ohm...
932
00:48:12,750 --> 00:48:14,790
Summer...
933
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,760
You are my person, okay?
934
00:48:17,890 --> 00:48:20,890
And I trust you more than anyone in the world, so if...
935
00:48:21,890 --> 00:48:26,830
If you want me and Glenn to slow our roll, then we will.
936
00:48:26,970 --> 00:48:30,100
[group, chanting] Ohm...
937
00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:32,970
I want you to slow your roll.
938
00:48:33,110 --> 00:48:36,070
[emotional chuckle] Wow...
939
00:48:36,810 --> 00:48:38,710
[group] Ohm...
940
00:48:40,380 --> 00:48:43,980
Thank you for being honest with how you feel, kiddo.
941
00:48:47,720 --> 00:48:50,590
[group] Ohm...
942
00:48:59,730 --> 00:49:03,200
[Grayson] Hey, hey! Not bad for a Tuesday.
943
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,140
Enjoying your monopoly, Mr. Martin?
944
00:49:08,270 --> 00:49:10,440
Capitalism's no crime, Bishop.
945
00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:13,950
No, it's not. Though, fraud might be.
946
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,850
-[stammers] Fraud? -Mm.
947
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:23,460
You said that I had an official El Dorado reservation.
948
00:49:23,590 --> 00:49:27,460
Officially endorsed. Terms and conditions clearly apply.
949
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:29,330
You think you're the first guest
950
00:49:29,460 --> 00:49:31,700
to try and game the lounger system?
951
00:49:31,830 --> 00:49:33,730
Alas, no.
952
00:49:33,870 --> 00:49:35,970
If you do not cease and desist,
953
00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:38,740
we will have no choice but to escort you to...
954
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:41,310
-The Holding Room. -[scary sting]
955
00:49:41,810 --> 00:49:43,510
El Dorado has a dungeon?
956
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,940
Let's just say it's a comfortable place
957
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,450
to reconsider one's choices, hm?
958
00:49:48,580 --> 00:49:50,650
Nothing says "free market" like taking my money back.
959
00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:53,250
-Wait. -[clicks tongue] See ya, kid.
960
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,360
-Your refund, sir. -Thank you.
961
00:49:57,490 --> 00:50:00,790
You got me this time, Bishop. Touché.
962
00:50:00,930 --> 00:50:03,530
Ooh, money in the box...
963
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,300
money out the... box.
964
00:50:15,110 --> 00:50:16,610
[Sadie] Took you long enough!
965
00:50:16,740 --> 00:50:19,340
Did you get what we need from around the pool?
966
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,310
[Summer] I'm haunted by how easy it was.
967
00:50:21,450 --> 00:50:24,580
That's your innocence dying. Try not to make it a thing.
968
00:50:24,720 --> 00:50:27,120
And what exactly are we gonna do with all--
969
00:50:27,250 --> 00:50:29,650
What did I just say about the thing-making,
970
00:50:29,790 --> 00:50:31,560
little thing-maker? Hm?
971
00:50:32,790 --> 00:50:34,560
It's gonna be a classic bait-and-switch
972
00:50:34,690 --> 00:50:37,800
with a chaser of John Wick cosplay.
973
00:50:38,900 --> 00:50:40,330
What are you talking about?
974
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:42,130
Did you even watch the Ocean's Eleven movies?
975
00:50:42,270 --> 00:50:43,670
You're being a real Matt Damon.
976
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,340
I just, um... I've been thinking, Sadie,
977
00:50:46,470 --> 00:50:49,310
maybe we don't have to do all of this.
978
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,280
His proposal's gonna be really public,
979
00:50:52,410 --> 00:50:56,210
and I don't want to humiliate my mom, or even Glenn.
980
00:50:57,820 --> 00:50:59,350
All right. You know what, Summer?
981
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,450
Guess what I had to do to score the gear for this operation.
982
00:51:02,590 --> 00:51:05,260
I had to give Gary a sunscreen rub-n-tug.
983
00:51:05,390 --> 00:51:06,830
-The security guard? -Shh!
984
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:08,690
Eew, eew, eew.
985
00:51:08,830 --> 00:51:11,560
So, smile, babe.
986
00:51:11,700 --> 00:51:15,230
Because tonight's gonna be absolute scenes. [happy squeal]
987
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,670
[sighing] I cannot spend Thanksgiving
988
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,640
with someone who uses "rub-n-tug" as a verb.
989
00:51:25,410 --> 00:51:27,510
Blink if you've ever done anything this dumb.
990
00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:47,800
Hey, you're acting weird.
991
00:51:49,330 --> 00:51:51,870
I assume this is about Glenn proposing?
992
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,140
You know about that?
993
00:51:53,270 --> 00:51:55,440
He got emotional during our couples' massage.
994
00:51:55,570 --> 00:51:57,410
Said I'd always be the man of the house.
995
00:51:57,540 --> 00:51:59,780
He picked sandalwood. It was nice.
996
00:52:00,210 --> 00:52:03,150
Anyway, I've got to steam my cummerbund for the awards.
997
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,920
Resort casual does not mean resort sloppy.
998
00:52:07,650 --> 00:52:10,360
-Wow! -Mom, you look amazing.
999
00:52:10,490 --> 00:52:12,260
You-- You really do.
1000
00:52:12,390 --> 00:52:15,190
-Hubba hubba. -Thank you.
1001
00:52:16,030 --> 00:52:17,430
Oh, yeah.
1002
00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:22,930
Who's ready for karaoke? Mom?
1003
00:52:23,070 --> 00:52:26,570
Tonight's the night! I'm doing "Wrecking Ball"!
1004
00:52:26,710 --> 00:52:29,570
Full choreo! No apologies.
1005
00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:32,110
Feels prophetic.
1006
00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:34,250
[Glenn clears throat]
1007
00:52:36,750 --> 00:52:39,550
-[beeping, unlocking] -Okay...
1008
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:42,290
Okay...
1009
00:52:43,390 --> 00:52:46,220
Okay, Glenn. Don't Glenn this up.
1010
00:52:46,990 --> 00:52:48,560
[exhales nervously]
1011
00:52:49,460 --> 00:52:51,430
[upbeat music playing]
1012
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,370
Okay, guys, here we go. Get in there.
1013
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:56,970
[crowd chatting and laughing]
1014
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,370
[Glenn, exhaling] Okay...
1015
00:53:06,210 --> 00:53:07,810
Blow me, Celine.
1016
00:53:09,410 --> 00:53:10,850
Oh, you made it, eh?
1017
00:53:10,980 --> 00:53:12,850
Great to see the Viceys in person.
1018
00:53:12,980 --> 00:53:14,150
Yeah.
1019
00:53:14,290 --> 00:53:16,590
I'm glad someone's still winning awards around here.
1020
00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:19,260
My last two wins were virtual.
1021
00:53:19,390 --> 00:53:21,330
It's hard to shotgun a Molson over Zoom!
1022
00:53:21,460 --> 00:53:24,330
Celine dominated the Moose Jaw School District,
1023
00:53:24,460 --> 00:53:25,800
but you haven't really made it
1024
00:53:25,930 --> 00:53:27,800
until you've accepted a Vicey in a thong!
1025
00:53:27,930 --> 00:53:29,170
[whooping]
1026
00:53:29,300 --> 00:53:30,940
And tonight, our boy Glenn's
1027
00:53:31,070 --> 00:53:34,270
nominated for the Stanley Cup of education,
1028
00:53:34,410 --> 00:53:36,310
Vice Principal of the Year!
1029
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,510
-[chuckles] -Yeah. No pressure here!
1030
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:40,910
-Yeah. -[Milly laughing]
1031
00:53:41,050 --> 00:53:45,320
-Hey, tonight's your night. -I hope so.
1032
00:53:45,450 --> 00:53:47,650
-Yeah. -I hope so...
1033
00:53:48,190 --> 00:53:49,990
-All right, let's sit. -Okay...
1034
00:53:51,620 --> 00:53:55,230
And so, while the "pretty boy" principals
1035
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:59,730
get all the podcast invites, and the TikToks that go viral,
1036
00:53:59,860 --> 00:54:02,630
it is the vice principals
1037
00:54:02,770 --> 00:54:06,770
who truly keep the educational system from total collapse!
1038
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:09,040
-[crowd agreeing, cheering] -Yeah!
1039
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,480
[Celine whoops]
1040
00:54:12,610 --> 00:54:16,750
VPs do it better! [whooping]
1041
00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:23,690
[softly] Hey... Hey, Summer.
1042
00:54:23,820 --> 00:54:26,630
I was hoping we'd hang, but you kind of vanished.
1043
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:30,560
I'm sorry. Stuff got kinda hectic.
1044
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:33,700
It kinda feels like you're avoiding me.
1045
00:54:33,830 --> 00:54:34,930
[speech continues indistinctly]
1046
00:54:35,070 --> 00:54:38,000
It's just, I had to deal with some... Sadie.
1047
00:54:38,140 --> 00:54:41,470
Oof! I hope you packed antibiotics and the holy water.
1048
00:54:41,610 --> 00:54:45,540
-[nervous sigh] -Where is Sadie?
1049
00:54:46,910 --> 00:54:48,550
Great question.
1050
00:54:53,220 --> 00:54:58,460
You know... speaking about messy family business,
1051
00:54:58,590 --> 00:55:01,090
I, um... I took your advice.
1052
00:55:02,730 --> 00:55:05,900
I told my dad I don't wanna play Triple-A next year.
1053
00:55:06,030 --> 00:55:08,230
Whoa. Big swing.
1054
00:55:08,370 --> 00:55:09,900
-How did it go? -[exhaling slowly]
1055
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:15,540
Full rage-quit. Controller through the drywall, basically.
1056
00:55:15,670 --> 00:55:19,240
You know, he... he didn't even say sorry.
1057
00:55:19,380 --> 00:55:21,680
Well, I'm sorry.
1058
00:55:22,780 --> 00:55:26,750
-But, your dad'll come around. -Maybe.
1059
00:55:26,890 --> 00:55:29,890
Oh, we have nametags. I'm gonna keep mine hand-packed.
1060
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:33,960
You know, I bet Glenn would've handled it so much better.
1061
00:55:34,090 --> 00:55:35,630
There's your name.
1062
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,960
He just wants his people to be happy, you know.
1063
00:55:39,100 --> 00:55:42,070
God, I'm so sick of hearing how great Glenn is!
1064
00:55:42,930 --> 00:55:44,570
Sorry.
1065
00:55:45,340 --> 00:55:48,970
Und now, the moment that we've all been waiting for...
1066
00:55:49,110 --> 00:55:50,180
Okay...
1067
00:55:50,310 --> 00:55:52,880
The biggest award of the evening...
1068
00:55:53,010 --> 00:55:54,050
[drumroll]
1069
00:55:54,180 --> 00:55:57,880
The Vice Principal of the Year is...
1070
00:56:00,820 --> 00:56:02,050
The wonderful...
1071
00:56:02,190 --> 00:56:06,590
- Glenn Winters, everyone! Yeah! -[all cheering]
1072
00:56:08,630 --> 00:56:10,400
-I'm so happy for you. -Here we go.
1073
00:56:10,530 --> 00:56:12,500
Yes! [laughing]
1074
00:56:12,630 --> 00:56:14,700
-Here we go! -[cheering continues]
1075
00:56:22,540 --> 00:56:26,240
[Glenn, whoops] Yeah! Thank you so much.
1076
00:56:26,380 --> 00:56:28,810
Thank you, thank you. Thank you, Dieter.
1077
00:56:28,950 --> 00:56:30,750
-Thank you, yeah. -[applause dies down]
1078
00:56:31,220 --> 00:56:35,290
I, uh... I love being a vice principal, you know.
1079
00:56:35,420 --> 00:56:36,760
We get to lead
1080
00:56:36,890 --> 00:56:40,530
without anyone expecting miracles. Or charisma.
1081
00:56:40,660 --> 00:56:42,230
[crowd laughing]
1082
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:43,830
Unless you're Terry and Celine.
1083
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,900
They don't have sunblock, but they have charisma.
1084
00:56:47,030 --> 00:56:50,070
I have no interest in wearing the crown. No way.
1085
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:54,770
-Way too many emails, you know. -[crowd laughing]
1086
00:56:54,910 --> 00:56:59,340
I just want to do the work. I wanna help.
1087
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:04,320
Hey, speaking of help, I wanna shoutout my helper,
1088
00:57:04,450 --> 00:57:07,050
right over there, my date tonight, Milly Martin.
1089
00:57:07,190 --> 00:57:11,020
Hi. Milly's here with her two incredible kids.
1090
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:15,290
Where is Grayson? There's my guy. He's already cooked.
1091
00:57:15,430 --> 00:57:17,960
Take him out the oven, he knows exactly who he is.
1092
00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:20,430
He doesn't have to announce it to anyone.
1093
00:57:20,900 --> 00:57:22,730
To be honest, Grayson,
1094
00:57:22,870 --> 00:57:25,340
I trust you more than I trust most grown men!
1095
00:57:25,470 --> 00:57:27,170
[crowd laughing]
1096
00:57:27,310 --> 00:57:29,140
If they actually paid vice principals,
1097
00:57:29,270 --> 00:57:31,110
I'd invest all my money with you, buddy!
1098
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,380
[all laughing]
1099
00:57:33,910 --> 00:57:35,850
And also, I've gotta give a shoutout to Summer.
1100
00:57:35,980 --> 00:57:38,080
Milly's daughter, Summer.
1101
00:57:38,220 --> 00:57:42,390
Yeah. Summer plans everything, carries everyone,
1102
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,360
asks for nothing in return.
1103
00:57:45,490 --> 00:57:49,530
Thank you, Summer. I mean that. You make everything better.
1104
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,360
[softly] Still set on hating Captain Kindness?
1105
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:56,570
I feel so lucky to have those two kids and Milly in my life.
1106
00:57:56,700 --> 00:58:00,170
Milly makes everything an adventure.
1107
00:58:00,310 --> 00:58:03,810
Milly, uh, you make everything brighter.
1108
00:58:04,380 --> 00:58:06,180
Louder.
1109
00:58:06,310 --> 00:58:07,750
Better. [chuckles]
1110
00:58:08,180 --> 00:58:10,450
-Thank you. -[mouths] Thank you.
1111
00:58:10,580 --> 00:58:13,650
Uh, all that said... [clears throat]
1112
00:58:13,790 --> 00:58:17,490
I want to ask Milly Martin to come to the stage for, uh...
1113
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:19,760
Well, a little duet.
1114
00:58:20,230 --> 00:58:21,160
Milly Martin
1115
00:58:21,290 --> 00:58:23,190
to the Vice Principal's office, please.
1116
00:58:23,330 --> 00:58:25,130
-[all applauding] -Get on up here.
1117
00:58:25,260 --> 00:58:27,070
[crowd cheering]
1118
00:58:30,940 --> 00:58:32,840
-[Glenn] There you go. -[microphone squealing]
1119
00:58:38,710 --> 00:58:43,950
Hi, everyone. I didn't really plan on doing this mid-win!
1120
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,150
But, you know, I am always karaoke-ready,
1121
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:50,420
so, DJ, will you hit us with some "Paper Planes", please?
1122
00:58:51,220 --> 00:58:55,860
Actually, Milly, I wanted to sing a duet with you...
1123
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,130
-for the rest of our lives. -[crowd] Aw...
1124
00:58:58,260 --> 00:59:00,300
-["Paper Planes" by M.I.A.] - Oh my God!
1125
00:59:01,170 --> 00:59:02,270
[crowd] Aw...
1126
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,300
[slight chuckle] Um...
1127
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,940
Um, Glenn!
1128
00:59:07,670 --> 00:59:10,840
Now, listen, I'm gonna be a little off-key, everybody.
1129
00:59:10,980 --> 00:59:14,010
Are you sure you wanna do it like this?
1130
00:59:14,150 --> 00:59:17,080
You know, in front of all these teachers?
1131
00:59:17,550 --> 00:59:21,520
"Teachers"? You just demoted Beyoncé to backup dancer.
1132
00:59:21,650 --> 00:59:23,420
I'm sorry, that was not my intention.
1133
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,160
Glenn, baby, please? Please...
1134
00:59:26,290 --> 00:59:28,490
Can we just go somewhere and talk about this?
1135
00:59:28,630 --> 00:59:30,660
This is really not a good time.
1136
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,800
Whoa, what is this?
1137
00:59:32,930 --> 00:59:34,500
-[crowd gasps] -No, no, no.
1138
00:59:34,630 --> 00:59:37,040
American guns! Get down!
1139
00:59:37,170 --> 00:59:38,100
Wait!
1140
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:40,710
Those aren't guns, bud.
1141
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:42,940
Everybody, calm down. It's Glenn.
1142
00:59:43,070 --> 00:59:44,340
Crosby's right. Everybody chill!
1143
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:47,310
-I don't know what these are. -What are you doing?
1144
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,110
They're stuck to me, everybody.
1145
00:59:50,250 --> 00:59:52,780
Are we trying to rob the joint with water guns?
1146
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:54,150
[Glenn] These aren't mine!
1147
00:59:54,290 --> 00:59:56,420
-Is that glue? -[gun shooting on track]
1148
00:59:56,550 --> 00:59:57,790
[crowd screaming]
1149
00:59:57,920 --> 00:59:59,960
Oh, shooting! Oh my God!
1150
01:00:02,030 --> 01:00:03,860
That I do recognize from Texas.
1151
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,230
Glenn killed a dolphin, and now he's gonna kill us!
1152
01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:08,530
I-- I didn't do that!
1153
01:00:08,670 --> 01:00:11,370
We're going down harder than the Jays in game seven!
1154
01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:14,140
-I'm coming, son! -It's just the song!
1155
01:00:14,270 --> 01:00:15,370
[glass breaks]
1156
01:00:15,510 --> 01:00:16,810
Get behind me!
1157
01:00:16,940 --> 01:00:19,480
This is why we don't vacation south of Buffalo!
1158
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:22,280
-[glass smashing] -Damn, Celine!
1159
01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:25,280
-This is playoff energy! -[Summer] Wait...
1160
01:00:25,420 --> 01:00:27,250
-[Celine] Elbows up! -[Crosby grunts]
1161
01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:30,220
-[Summer] Oh my God! I'm sorry. -[Crosby spits]
1162
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,660
Damn, Summer, just say you're not interested.
1163
01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:36,060
They're not real! I don't know what they are,
1164
01:00:36,190 --> 01:00:37,800
they're just stuck to me right now.
1165
01:00:37,930 --> 01:00:39,730
Glenn, get down!
1166
01:00:39,860 --> 01:00:40,970
-[screams] -[loud thud]
1167
01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:42,900
[crowd screaming hysterically]
1168
01:00:45,970 --> 01:00:47,840
This is the worst karaoke ever!
1169
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,680
Glenn? Glenn? Stop, you're hurting him!
1170
01:00:52,810 --> 01:00:54,080
Are you okay?
1171
01:00:54,210 --> 01:00:55,550
-[cable ties zipping] -I don't--
1172
01:00:55,680 --> 01:01:00,820
I have tolerated the chaos of this family at my poolside,
1173
01:01:00,950 --> 01:01:02,420
but this?
1174
01:01:02,550 --> 01:01:06,690
Disrupting the integrity of the Viceys is a step too far.
1175
01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:07,960
[Glenn strains]
1176
01:01:08,090 --> 01:01:10,460
[Milly] This is a misunderstanding. It--
1177
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:15,030
Allow me to escort you to The Holding Room.
1178
01:01:15,170 --> 01:01:16,730
Call the embassy! Call the embassy!
1179
01:01:16,870 --> 01:01:19,140
[panicked] Glenn! Glenn!
1180
01:01:21,870 --> 01:01:24,980
Whoo! Can I get another beer?
1181
01:01:25,110 --> 01:01:26,980
[door beeps, opens]
1182
01:01:32,950 --> 01:01:35,550
El Dorado is a sanctuary.
1183
01:01:35,690 --> 01:01:38,960
People come here to forget the horrors of daily life,
1184
01:01:39,090 --> 01:01:41,190
not to endure firearm pageantry.
1185
01:01:41,330 --> 01:01:42,860
Come on, man! They're water guns.
1186
01:01:42,990 --> 01:01:44,900
Or attempted bottlenose homicide!
1187
01:01:45,030 --> 01:01:46,800
That dolphin was fine.
1188
01:01:46,930 --> 01:01:48,700
And to be honest, she was wanted it.
1189
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,500
I actually felt uncomfortable.
1190
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,740
Not another word, Mr. Winters!
1191
01:01:54,370 --> 01:01:58,840
You will contemplate your choices in here!
1192
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:03,050
[door beeps, unlocks]
1193
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:05,780
[water bubbling]
1194
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:07,350
[Glenn scoffs]
1195
01:02:08,850 --> 01:02:11,920
Your jail cell has cucumber water?
1196
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:16,330
We are a luxury resort, not Shawshank.
1197
01:02:17,860 --> 01:02:19,930
-[gentle music plays] -Look, I'm...
1198
01:02:20,060 --> 01:02:22,200
I'm so sorry about what happened tonight.
1199
01:02:22,330 --> 01:02:25,770
I was just trying to propose to the woman I love.
1200
01:02:25,900 --> 01:02:28,370
Oh, Mr. Winters,
1201
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:32,010
love always finds a way. And trust me...
1202
01:02:32,140 --> 01:02:35,880
El Dorado is no stranger to water gun shenanigans.
1203
01:02:36,580 --> 01:02:37,980
[electronic beep]
1204
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,380
Please, take a seat.
1205
01:02:44,660 --> 01:02:46,960
Allow me to unstick you.
1206
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:48,890
[door beeps]
1207
01:02:51,700 --> 01:02:53,970
Oh, excuse me! Is Glenn okay?
1208
01:02:54,100 --> 01:02:58,200
Mrs. Martin, I thought it best that Mr. Winters
1209
01:02:58,340 --> 01:03:02,740
have some reflection time after tonight's fiasco.
1210
01:03:02,870 --> 01:03:04,940
What even was that?
1211
01:03:08,410 --> 01:03:11,050
Oh, that face means I'm not gonna like the answer.
1212
01:03:12,250 --> 01:03:14,990
Here. It's the last of my lounger loot.
1213
01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:18,920
Thanks for taking good care of him.
1214
01:03:19,060 --> 01:03:20,560
Of course.
1215
01:03:24,930 --> 01:03:27,000
Summer...
1216
01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:29,930
[exhales shakily] So, um...
1217
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:34,910
Things were just moving crazy fast, and uh...
1218
01:03:35,770 --> 01:03:39,180
Sadie and I might've pulled a really tiny,
1219
01:03:39,910 --> 01:03:41,810
deeply stupid prank.
1220
01:03:41,950 --> 01:03:45,580
Sadie? Of course this was the future felon in flipflops.
1221
01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:47,080
-No, Mom. -Honey...
1222
01:03:47,690 --> 01:03:49,620
It was actually mostly my idea.
1223
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,960
What do you mean?
1224
01:03:53,620 --> 01:03:57,360
You're-- You are supposed to be the responsible one.
1225
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,900
No, you are, Mom!
1226
01:04:02,970 --> 01:04:05,440
-I'm sorry, I-- -Hey, hey, hey, stop.
1227
01:04:05,570 --> 01:04:11,510
It is you, and you, and me. You're my people.
1228
01:04:13,210 --> 01:04:15,080
Honey, I thought...
1229
01:04:15,210 --> 01:04:17,380
I thought that this was different.
1230
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,420
I thought that this was responsible.
1231
01:04:20,850 --> 01:04:23,250
I thought we could add one more person to our equation
1232
01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:24,560
without burning down the house.
1233
01:04:24,690 --> 01:04:27,390
-That's not what I meant. -Honey...
1234
01:04:29,660 --> 01:04:31,100
Enough, okay?
1235
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,440
I need the two of you to wait here for me...
1236
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,170
[door beeps]
1237
01:04:47,140 --> 01:04:51,450
Wow! Hard times really changed you, Glenn.
1238
01:04:51,580 --> 01:04:54,390
What's next, a Mike Tyson face tattoo?
1239
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,690
Can you tell me what the hell happened tonight?
1240
01:04:56,820 --> 01:04:59,290
And where is my mother's ring?
1241
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:04,660
Your daughter humiliated you on stage and then bolted with it.
1242
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:06,030
Oh? Well...
1243
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:08,270
Sadie must've had her reasons.
1244
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:11,340
She probably pawned the diamond and is halfway to Jamaica now.
1245
01:05:11,470 --> 01:05:16,010
Hey, hey, hey... That's my kid you're talking about, okay?
1246
01:05:17,070 --> 01:05:21,150
And also... my kid was involved too.
1247
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:24,780
-What? Summer was involved? -Yes!
1248
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:29,120
-She hates me that much? -No! She loves me that much.
1249
01:05:29,250 --> 01:05:32,720
And, Glenn, the point is...
1250
01:05:34,830 --> 01:05:36,290
Uh...
1251
01:05:37,830 --> 01:05:39,630
The thing is...
1252
01:05:41,470 --> 01:05:43,200
Glenn, we have to break up.
1253
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,570
Okay, uh...
1254
01:05:50,710 --> 01:05:54,250
Milly, Milly... Milly. [chuckles nervously]
1255
01:05:54,380 --> 01:05:58,580
Our kids did something really, really dumb tonight.
1256
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:01,320
That doesn't mean that we have to do something dumb.
1257
01:06:01,450 --> 01:06:03,050
This is just happening too fast.
1258
01:06:03,190 --> 01:06:04,860
Yeah, because it's fresh.
1259
01:06:04,990 --> 01:06:08,490
It's new, it's exciting. It's rare. You know this.
1260
01:06:08,630 --> 01:06:10,730
I-- You...
1261
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:14,000
You weaponized a DJ!
1262
01:06:15,030 --> 01:06:17,570
My love for you is explosive.
1263
01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:20,440
-So was Chernobyl. -I wanna tell everyone that!
1264
01:06:20,570 --> 01:06:23,310
But... And you told everyone
1265
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:25,840
up on a stage when we were all dressed up
1266
01:06:25,980 --> 01:06:29,710
and in front of all of our loved ones, with karaoke?
1267
01:06:29,850 --> 01:06:32,120
If you think that's my literal dream come true
1268
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:34,020
then you don't know me at all.
1269
01:06:34,150 --> 01:06:35,520
Okay, Milly.
1270
01:06:35,650 --> 01:06:39,560
You know what? Maybe... Maybe we just are too different.
1271
01:06:39,690 --> 01:06:42,230
But at least I'm out there, I'm giving it a go.
1272
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:45,200
At least I'm brave enough to try.
1273
01:06:49,030 --> 01:06:50,570
[whispers] I tried.
1274
01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,580
I'm done, Glenn.
1275
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:04,780
[sombre music plays]
1276
01:07:15,890 --> 01:07:18,260
[waves crashing]
1277
01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:23,800
[Milly sobbing]
1278
01:07:30,070 --> 01:07:31,640
[door opens]
1279
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:37,520
She's still crying.
1280
01:07:44,090 --> 01:07:45,920
[sighs]
1281
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:50,490
Glenn did last longer than her pottery phase.
1282
01:07:53,500 --> 01:07:54,800
Mom will bounce back.
1283
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:00,570
Sadie...
1284
01:08:00,700 --> 01:08:03,370
[stammers] She took this way too far.
1285
01:08:03,510 --> 01:08:06,880
Stop trying to blame everyone but yourself, Summer.
1286
01:08:07,010 --> 01:08:11,720
You did this. Not just to Mom, but everyone.
1287
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:14,790
Oh, my God...
1288
01:08:15,420 --> 01:08:17,860
Mom's not the only one that likes Glenn.
1289
01:08:19,920 --> 01:08:21,030
You like him, too.
1290
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:22,530
Yeah, of course, I do.
1291
01:08:22,660 --> 01:08:26,400
I still have PTSD from Mom's previous loser boyfriends.
1292
01:08:26,530 --> 01:08:30,700
[sighs] Remember that... racist puppeteer guy?
1293
01:08:31,940 --> 01:08:34,670
The one with the ferret named after his ex?
1294
01:08:35,740 --> 01:08:36,910
[both] Doug.
1295
01:08:38,340 --> 01:08:39,880
[Milly continues sobbing]
1296
01:08:41,150 --> 01:08:42,850
Glenn's a chill guy.
1297
01:08:42,980 --> 01:08:46,380
He's nice, and he just wants to be a part of this,
1298
01:08:47,990 --> 01:08:51,190
even after you did... that.
1299
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:55,590
I'm gonna miss that dweeb.
1300
01:09:08,910 --> 01:09:11,310
[island music playing]
1301
01:09:17,150 --> 01:09:19,880
[guests chatting and laughing]
1302
01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:28,260
-[glass clinks] -[exhales deeply]
1303
01:09:34,730 --> 01:09:36,970
Four mimosas before 10 a.m.?
1304
01:09:37,100 --> 01:09:39,440
I'm deeply impressed and slightly aroused.
1305
01:09:39,570 --> 01:09:41,670
[Milly groans] Read the room!
1306
01:09:41,810 --> 01:09:44,640
It's sadder than the first five minutes of "Up" out here.
1307
01:09:44,780 --> 01:09:48,610
Sounds like you need Captain Otto's patented hangover cure.
1308
01:09:50,810 --> 01:09:52,280
More booze.
1309
01:09:55,150 --> 01:09:57,150
Well, I'm kinda spiraling.
1310
01:09:57,790 --> 01:10:00,590
You know, last night I torched my relationship
1311
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:02,660
with the sweetest man I've ever known.
1312
01:10:02,790 --> 01:10:05,800
Glenn is romantic and dependable.
1313
01:10:05,930 --> 01:10:08,630
Maybe Glenn can marry his perfect credit score.
1314
01:10:08,770 --> 01:10:11,370
And I set fire to every good thing I'm close to,
1315
01:10:11,500 --> 01:10:13,270
and I don't know why I'm like this!
1316
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,010
Because you're like me.
1317
01:10:15,140 --> 01:10:17,240
Allergic to boring.
1318
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:19,740
-I mean, vice principal? -Well...
1319
01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:23,010
The Vice Principal of the Year!
1320
01:10:23,150 --> 01:10:25,250
Yeah, but has he ever done Bible school coke
1321
01:10:25,380 --> 01:10:27,650
off a nun's tramp stamp?
1322
01:10:28,690 --> 01:10:30,690
That is concerningly specific.
1323
01:10:31,790 --> 01:10:34,230
Don't kink-shame my Catholic childhood.
1324
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:35,290
[Milly scoffs]
1325
01:10:35,430 --> 01:10:37,530
Don't you want to go work?
1326
01:10:37,660 --> 01:10:40,060
Take people parasailing, or whatever.
1327
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,230
My schedule's pretty flexible.
1328
01:10:42,370 --> 01:10:45,100
No obligations, no ties, no kids.
1329
01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:47,570
Not within subpoena range.
1330
01:10:47,710 --> 01:10:50,310
[scoffs] Oh my God.
1331
01:10:50,440 --> 01:10:52,610
Twenty-something me would've eaten you up.
1332
01:10:53,780 --> 01:10:56,550
I recognise my people, Milly.
1333
01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:59,980
You are a free spirit, you need space to run,
1334
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:02,650
not someone who's trying to domesticate you.
1335
01:11:03,420 --> 01:11:05,860
You just forgot who you really are.
1336
01:11:05,990 --> 01:11:10,090
[scoffs] Oh? A trainwreck with commitment issues?
1337
01:11:10,660 --> 01:11:13,730
[in Spanish] A mamacita so spicy...
1338
01:11:13,860 --> 01:11:16,930
[in English] they had to retire your thong to the rafters.
1339
01:11:19,970 --> 01:11:22,340
They did. Thank you.
1340
01:11:24,070 --> 01:11:26,010
You know, I got a little side-hustle going on.
1341
01:11:26,140 --> 01:11:29,080
Might help you reconnect with your wild side?
1342
01:11:29,850 --> 01:11:33,980
Slightly illegal, totally invigorating.
1343
01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:37,450
Why don't you, uh... come by my yacht?
1344
01:11:43,290 --> 01:11:45,860
I'm hot, and drunk. And we're in the Bahamas.
1345
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:48,530
The bad choice is practically mandatory.
1346
01:11:48,670 --> 01:11:50,370
-There she is. -[glasses clink]
1347
01:11:50,500 --> 01:11:52,070
Welcome back, killer.
1348
01:11:58,210 --> 01:11:59,680
[slight cough]
1349
01:12:00,910 --> 01:12:02,710
[birds calling]
1350
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:09,420
[Summer] Crosby? Crosby!
1351
01:12:09,550 --> 01:12:11,090
I've been looking for you.
1352
01:12:14,890 --> 01:12:16,490
Hey, how are you feeling?
1353
01:12:18,330 --> 01:12:19,700
Great.
1354
01:12:21,030 --> 01:12:25,870
Um... I like your tube. I really like the orange.
1355
01:12:29,270 --> 01:12:31,440
[mouthing]
1356
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:37,050
Crosby, hey...
1357
01:12:37,180 --> 01:12:38,320
Yesterday was a mess.
1358
01:12:38,450 --> 01:12:39,920
Turns out my version of selfless
1359
01:12:40,050 --> 01:12:43,350
is just selfish with better branding.
1360
01:12:43,490 --> 01:12:44,920
I was micromanaging family
1361
01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:47,660
and I wasn't listening to you at all.
1362
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,770
Anyways, I'm listening now.
1363
01:13:00,900 --> 01:13:03,770
And in the spirit of full disclosure,
1364
01:13:03,910 --> 01:13:05,710
Glenn wasn't the dolphin assassin.
1365
01:13:06,380 --> 01:13:07,680
It was me.
1366
01:13:08,280 --> 01:13:10,050
My gas.
1367
01:13:10,480 --> 01:13:12,120
My anxiety farts.
1368
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,620
Maintain proper tube distance!
1369
01:13:15,750 --> 01:13:18,590
This river is lazy, not lawless.
1370
01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:20,120
Sorry, Vice Principal Dieter.
1371
01:13:22,790 --> 01:13:26,030
Summer, I spent years in hockey locker rooms.
1372
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:28,300
My nose is just decorative at this point.
1373
01:13:28,430 --> 01:13:31,670
But it was pretty obvious who crop-dusted Kimberly.
1374
01:13:32,100 --> 01:13:35,440
-Oh my God. You knew? -Had a hunch.
1375
01:13:35,570 --> 01:13:37,610
Didn't care.
1376
01:13:39,310 --> 01:13:44,450
Okay, good. Because my stomach is killing me right now.
1377
01:13:45,150 --> 01:13:49,450
And not because of gluten, because I like you.
1378
01:13:50,250 --> 01:13:52,090
-[slight scoff] -A lot.
1379
01:14:07,070 --> 01:14:09,640
Guess you'll be happy to know that your water gun stunt
1380
01:14:09,770 --> 01:14:11,140
saved my ass.
1381
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,480
Dad saw our lives flash before his eyes
1382
01:14:13,610 --> 01:14:17,080
and agreed it's too short for me to waste chasing pucks.
1383
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,080
Wait, so you're free?
1384
01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:21,650
Now it's just lacrosse,
1385
01:14:21,790 --> 01:14:23,920
curling and competitive moose wrestling.
1386
01:14:24,050 --> 01:14:25,660
Seriously?
1387
01:14:25,790 --> 01:14:29,190
[chuckles] No, but your panic face is incredible.
1388
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:35,130
[Travis] Look, you two.
1389
01:14:35,270 --> 01:14:38,500
You keep those hands north of the Mason-Dixon line.
1390
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:40,640
This ain't prom night in Amarillo.
1391
01:14:40,770 --> 01:14:43,340
[chuckles] That was a hell of a night, though...
1392
01:14:43,970 --> 01:14:46,540
Though, wait till he hears I wanna apply to universities
1393
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:49,650
in the States. Not Sadie's.
1394
01:14:50,510 --> 01:14:55,250
You know, Idaho's got some aggressively average colleges.
1395
01:14:55,390 --> 01:14:58,160
Maybe I could give you the official tour.
1396
01:14:59,920 --> 01:15:02,030
-I'd be down. -[Dieter] Miss Martin, please!
1397
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:05,800
Our winner is losing it on top of the Tower of Courage!
1398
01:15:05,930 --> 01:15:08,430
This is not how excellence behaves!
1399
01:15:08,570 --> 01:15:10,730
Arguing with a teen lifeguard.
1400
01:15:10,870 --> 01:15:13,770
We respect the whistle, no matter who wields it.
1401
01:15:13,900 --> 01:15:15,770
You know, it probably doesn't help
1402
01:15:15,910 --> 01:15:18,580
that your mom just sailed off with Captain Otto.
1403
01:15:18,710 --> 01:15:20,040
Locals call him the octopus,
1404
01:15:20,180 --> 01:15:22,550
and it's not because of his squishy heart.
1405
01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:24,080
I have to fix this.
1406
01:15:26,550 --> 01:15:28,890
I'm off to save my mom!
1407
01:15:36,990 --> 01:15:39,830
[Girl] Can you move this dad-in-meltdown along?
1408
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:43,030
[Boy] Let's go, Boomer. We get it, life didn't pan out.
1409
01:15:48,310 --> 01:15:50,110
[whimpering]
1410
01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:55,980
Sir, you can't just cap at the top of the waterslide!
1411
01:15:56,110 --> 01:15:57,980
Hey man! I'm a paying customer!
1412
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:01,150
My feelings are also all-inclusive!
1413
01:16:01,290 --> 01:16:05,520
Any day now, buddy. My kids are aging out of daycare here!
1414
01:16:05,660 --> 01:16:08,860
Excuse me, sir. Do you mind?
1415
01:16:08,990 --> 01:16:12,030
Do I mind? I have a PhD in extramolecular physics.
1416
01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:14,900
Every moment here is the worst day of my life.
1417
01:16:15,030 --> 01:16:18,270
I don't mind. Here you go, you talk to him.
1418
01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:20,540
Goddamnit, this family...
1419
01:16:20,670 --> 01:16:22,940
-[megaphone squeals] -Glenn, what are you doing?
1420
01:16:23,070 --> 01:16:26,010
[Glenn] I'm taking control of my destiny!
1421
01:16:26,140 --> 01:16:27,880
You're wearing Grayson's water wings!
1422
01:16:28,010 --> 01:16:30,350
You look like a midlife-crisis mermaid!
1423
01:16:30,480 --> 01:16:34,120
Yeah, well, it's symbolic... because I'm drowning!
1424
01:16:34,250 --> 01:16:38,090
You can't stand me, and now I've lost your mom!
1425
01:16:38,760 --> 01:16:41,890
Isn't this what you wanted, Summer?
1426
01:16:42,030 --> 01:16:46,100
Yeah! I... I thought I hated you.
1427
01:16:46,230 --> 01:16:49,630
But, I just resented how you highlighted my...
1428
01:16:50,530 --> 01:16:51,900
personality drought.
1429
01:16:52,440 --> 01:16:55,210
And if Mom could have someone fun who also adults,
1430
01:16:55,340 --> 01:16:57,210
she'd finally notice that I'm neither!
1431
01:16:59,940 --> 01:17:01,950
Come on, Summer!
1432
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:05,050
You're the reason your mom has made it this far!
1433
01:17:05,180 --> 01:17:07,320
Now she's steering straight into a Category 5
1434
01:17:07,450 --> 01:17:08,720
Dipshit named Otto!
1435
01:17:09,850 --> 01:17:12,260
Milly's messy and impulsive.
1436
01:17:12,390 --> 01:17:15,060
Basically Sadie, if she knew what a landline was.
1437
01:17:15,190 --> 01:17:17,360
Thank you, I hate that insight.
1438
01:17:17,490 --> 01:17:20,430
She needs you, Glenn! We all do!
1439
01:17:21,230 --> 01:17:23,100
Even me.
1440
01:17:24,770 --> 01:17:26,040
You mean that?
1441
01:17:26,170 --> 01:17:29,440
Yes! Now, quit pity-partying and nut up!
1442
01:17:30,110 --> 01:17:31,440
-Yeah! -Lose the floaties
1443
01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:32,640
and let's find Mom!
1444
01:17:32,780 --> 01:17:35,080
[screaming]
1445
01:17:35,780 --> 01:17:40,320
Captain Otto is about to get Glenn'd... hard and fast!
1446
01:17:40,450 --> 01:17:45,120
Phrasing! But, yeah. Get your ass down here, and let's go!
1447
01:17:45,260 --> 01:17:48,230
Yes, chef! Coming right down!
1448
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:49,990
[Dad] Move along!
1449
01:17:51,230 --> 01:17:53,230
Help me out. Help me out. Help me...
1450
01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:54,930
-Come on! -[Glenn] Let me down.
1451
01:17:55,070 --> 01:17:57,270
-Just hold on, just hang on. -You can do it...
1452
01:17:57,400 --> 01:17:59,300
-I'm gonna go down. -You can do it...
1453
01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:01,810
-Don't let go. Don't let go! -You can do it!
1454
01:18:01,940 --> 01:18:03,810
-You can do it! -I can do this!
1455
01:18:03,940 --> 01:18:06,480
-You can do it! -I can do this! [screaming]
1456
01:18:12,580 --> 01:18:16,420
[laughs victoriously] I did it!
1457
01:18:16,550 --> 01:18:19,360
The water went in my butt!
1458
01:18:19,490 --> 01:18:21,460
There's so much water in my butt.
1459
01:18:21,590 --> 01:18:23,960
[Glenn and Summer panting]
1460
01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:25,730
Hustle! Mom's about to shipwreck her life
1461
01:18:25,860 --> 01:18:27,160
on Otto's bachelor barge!
1462
01:18:27,300 --> 01:18:30,300
I'm trying, but sand is like nature's Stairmaster.
1463
01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:32,470
Mrs. McDavid, we're taking these jet skis
1464
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:35,340
in the name of love, liberty, and loosely planned heroics.
1465
01:18:35,470 --> 01:18:37,140
[Celine]Say no more! Terry, scoot!
1466
01:18:37,270 --> 01:18:40,280
-[Terry] Copy that! -[Summer] Mount up, Glenn.
1467
01:18:40,410 --> 01:18:44,310
Summer, I can't drive it. I've had two Coors Lights.
1468
01:18:44,450 --> 01:18:46,080
That's practically water in Canada.
1469
01:18:46,220 --> 01:18:48,450
-[both] Not now, Terry! -Sorry.
1470
01:18:48,590 --> 01:18:50,250
You have to drive.
1471
01:18:50,750 --> 01:18:52,120
I haven't been behind the wheel
1472
01:18:52,260 --> 01:18:54,090
since I traumatized the marching band.
1473
01:18:54,220 --> 01:18:56,660
Summer, just relax. You don't have to be perfect, okay?
1474
01:18:56,790 --> 01:18:59,030
Just let go.
1475
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:04,530
Okay, fine. But if I hear one note of the Cranberries,
1476
01:19:04,670 --> 01:19:05,770
you're swimming.
1477
01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:08,310
Noted. Silent, but internally grooving.
1478
01:19:14,280 --> 01:19:20,620
♪ You're my Bahama mama, baby ♪
1479
01:19:20,750 --> 01:19:27,090
♪ I wanna scuba in your lagoon ♪
1480
01:19:28,460 --> 01:19:32,060
You know, that's an original track.
1481
01:19:32,700 --> 01:19:36,200
I call it "Tidal Wave Between Her Thighs".
1482
01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:39,700
Sticky, yeah.
1483
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:41,240
[Milly clears throat]
1484
01:19:41,370 --> 01:19:45,640
Hey, Otto, you own all this?
1485
01:19:45,780 --> 01:19:50,510
Till the bank catches up, but the joke's on them.
1486
01:19:50,650 --> 01:19:53,850
-International waters, baby. -[both chuckle]
1487
01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:58,190
So... this is your denture glue?
1488
01:19:58,620 --> 01:20:01,460
Okay, technically it's my friend Norma's,
1489
01:20:01,590 --> 01:20:06,030
a 72-year-old retired orthodontist, divorced.
1490
01:20:06,160 --> 01:20:11,470
Boat-rich but... starved for human touch.
1491
01:20:11,600 --> 01:20:13,440
Oh yeah, that tracks.
1492
01:20:15,310 --> 01:20:19,540
Have you ever met someone that's so...
1493
01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:25,480
oddly stable that it makes you question your entire existence?
1494
01:20:27,420 --> 01:20:32,020
[scoffs] Nah. Stability's like condoms. It ruins the thrill.
1495
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:35,630
-[scoffs in disgust] -Speaking of fun...
1496
01:20:35,760 --> 01:20:39,100
How about I play you another track from my EP?
1497
01:20:39,230 --> 01:20:42,570
It's called "Anchors A-Wet".
1498
01:20:42,700 --> 01:20:48,140
[sighs] Do, uh... do you have a restroom here?
1499
01:20:48,870 --> 01:20:51,940
It's a boat, so it's called the head.
1500
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,480
And if it's yellow I let it mellow.
1501
01:20:54,610 --> 01:20:56,050
Actually, you know what?
1502
01:20:56,910 --> 01:20:58,920
Don't flush either way.
1503
01:21:02,820 --> 01:21:05,760
[Milly, softly] Oh my God. I have to get out of here.
1504
01:21:05,890 --> 01:21:09,560
-[Cranberries playing] -♪ Then I open up and see ♪
1505
01:21:09,690 --> 01:21:14,060
Doing great, Summer. That's it. Just stay in your lane!
1506
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:15,900
The ocean has no lanes, Glenn!
1507
01:21:16,030 --> 01:21:18,070
Right, well, you know what I mean.
1508
01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:19,540
Just, nautically this way.
1509
01:21:19,670 --> 01:21:23,540
Ten and two, ten and two! You're doing great, here we go!
1510
01:21:23,670 --> 01:21:25,580
-[dull thud, dolphin moaning] -Oh my God.
1511
01:21:25,710 --> 01:21:27,610
No, you don't think that was Kimberly?
1512
01:21:27,740 --> 01:21:30,910
I think that was Kimberly. No, no, no, no...
1513
01:21:31,050 --> 01:21:33,720
First fucking day of her retirement!
1514
01:21:33,850 --> 01:21:37,120
You've gotta be kidding me! This whole ocean?
1515
01:21:37,250 --> 01:21:40,120
Don't look back! We can't save everyone!
1516
01:21:40,260 --> 01:21:43,590
[Glenn] So sorry, Kimberly. Swim it off!
1517
01:21:46,930 --> 01:21:48,200
I will never unsee it.
1518
01:21:48,330 --> 01:21:49,600
-Ooh! -[mechanical whirring]
1519
01:21:52,370 --> 01:21:55,210
Okay, this is gonna be amazing.
1520
01:21:56,010 --> 01:21:59,110
What in the Hentai Hell?
1521
01:21:59,880 --> 01:22:01,910
Ooh!
1522
01:22:02,050 --> 01:22:05,180
Do you like my black market babies?
1523
01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:07,920
You're a dealer for seafood buffets?
1524
01:22:08,390 --> 01:22:10,590
Those are the hottest things on FishTok.
1525
01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:11,890
What?
1526
01:22:12,020 --> 01:22:16,690
Octopus racing's about to explode in Dubai. Trust me.
1527
01:22:17,290 --> 01:22:20,060
[laughing] What in the "Squid Game" am I doing here?
1528
01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:22,300
I have two children and a mortgage.
1529
01:22:22,430 --> 01:22:27,240
So, how about it? You, me, an eight-legged Bonnie and Clyde.
1530
01:22:27,370 --> 01:22:30,940
Otto, my octopus smuggling days are over.
1531
01:22:31,410 --> 01:22:33,480
[Glenn] Milly? Milly!
1532
01:22:33,610 --> 01:22:35,010
-Glenn, they're in here. -What?
1533
01:22:35,150 --> 01:22:36,050
They're in here.
1534
01:22:36,180 --> 01:22:38,050
Hey! You get away from her,
1535
01:22:38,180 --> 01:22:41,580
you tentacle-smuggling son of a gun!
1536
01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:43,650
-That can't be legal. -Hey, whoa, man.
1537
01:22:43,790 --> 01:22:46,320
We can just talk this out, vice principal-man.
1538
01:22:46,460 --> 01:22:49,330
No need to snitch, I got priors.
1539
01:22:49,460 --> 01:22:53,360
Glenn, you went all Liam Neeson for me?
1540
01:22:53,500 --> 01:22:56,400
Well, yeah. Of course, baby.
1541
01:22:56,530 --> 01:22:59,400
I have a particular set of dad skills.
1542
01:22:59,870 --> 01:23:01,400
[Milly chuckles]
1543
01:23:01,540 --> 01:23:04,910
Hey, nobody move, or the MILF gets punctured.
1544
01:23:05,410 --> 01:23:07,710
-Yeah. -Is that a spork?
1545
01:23:07,840 --> 01:23:11,280
Are you trying to threaten me, or eat pudding? Okay...
1546
01:23:12,750 --> 01:23:14,350
[Summer] Eww!
1547
01:23:14,480 --> 01:23:16,390
[Otto] Gimme your passport, Kangaroo Jack!
1548
01:23:16,520 --> 01:23:18,520
Milly and I are taking your jet ski!
1549
01:23:20,790 --> 01:23:24,230
Drop the utensil, Otto, or your buddy becomes sashimi.
1550
01:23:24,760 --> 01:23:25,900
Honey...
1551
01:23:26,030 --> 01:23:28,900
Yeah, we'll do it, man. I swear, we're gonna do it!
1552
01:23:29,030 --> 01:23:30,670
Not Enrique Iglesi-pus!
1553
01:23:30,800 --> 01:23:32,970
I will calamari the shit out of it!
1554
01:23:33,100 --> 01:23:34,340
We will do it, man!
1555
01:23:34,470 --> 01:23:36,140
Hey. Please, leave him alone.
1556
01:23:36,270 --> 01:23:38,170
He's recovering from a hamstring injury.
1557
01:23:38,310 --> 01:23:39,980
We'll end Enrique, swear to God!
1558
01:23:40,110 --> 01:23:42,580
[Glenn] Just be cool, or we'll chop this thing up!
1559
01:23:42,710 --> 01:23:46,020
Drop the spork, or Enrique's dead. Don't do it, man!
1560
01:23:46,150 --> 01:23:49,250
This is the weirdest fucking vacation I've ever been on!
1561
01:23:49,390 --> 01:23:50,920
-Okay. -[utensil clatters]
1562
01:23:51,050 --> 01:23:53,060
Okay, Captain Otto...
1563
01:23:53,190 --> 01:23:56,460
Prepare for detention.
1564
01:24:01,330 --> 01:24:03,570
Oh, honey...
1565
01:24:03,700 --> 01:24:05,470
-[hard thud] -[Glenn] Whoa!
1566
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:08,970
-[Glenn] Oh! Whoa... -Ouch!
1567
01:24:09,110 --> 01:24:11,940
Whoa, come here. Come here. Hey.
1568
01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:13,410
-Hey, hey, hey... -Hi, honey.
1569
01:24:13,540 --> 01:24:15,310
I'm really glad you did that, but...
1570
01:24:16,050 --> 01:24:19,150
you should know I had the situation under control.
1571
01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:24,320
Sweetheart, your job is to look pretty and file our taxes.
1572
01:24:24,450 --> 01:24:26,820
You leave the pirates to mama.
1573
01:24:27,260 --> 01:24:32,160
-Are we a team? -I wanna be. Like, forever?
1574
01:24:36,630 --> 01:24:39,840
Yep, yep, lovely. Can we not French near Enrique?
1575
01:24:39,970 --> 01:24:41,100
Yeah.
1576
01:24:43,110 --> 01:24:44,740
Thank you for coming to get me.
1577
01:24:44,870 --> 01:24:46,610
Now please, get me off this boat.
1578
01:24:46,740 --> 01:24:48,810
This has been the weirdest day of my life!
1579
01:24:48,950 --> 01:24:51,280
-I was never gonna hurt you. -[Milly] Take me home.
1580
01:24:51,410 --> 01:24:53,950
-Okay, come on. Let's go. -Let's get out of here.
1581
01:24:54,080 --> 01:24:56,420
-Bye, Enrique. -Oh, my bag!
1582
01:24:56,550 --> 01:24:59,060
[Summer] Good luck with your recovery, Enrique.
1583
01:24:59,190 --> 01:25:00,860
[upbeat music playing]
1584
01:25:03,090 --> 01:25:05,860
[Glenn and Milly screaming]
1585
01:25:07,430 --> 01:25:09,830
-[Glenn whooping] -[Milly] Whoa!
1586
01:25:10,330 --> 01:25:12,100
-[Glenn] Yeah! -[Milly laughing] Honey!
1587
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,000
That's how you pass a driver's test!
1588
01:25:15,770 --> 01:25:18,810
-[Glenn whooping] -[Milly, laughing] Oh my God.
1589
01:25:18,940 --> 01:25:21,510
I am never leaving solid ground again.
1590
01:25:21,640 --> 01:25:23,650
That was the second-sexiest Sea-Doo rescue
1591
01:25:23,780 --> 01:25:25,150
of my entire life!
1592
01:25:25,280 --> 01:25:28,920
That was my first Sea-Doo rescue ever.
1593
01:25:30,390 --> 01:25:33,760
You guys are gross, but also delightful.
1594
01:25:36,260 --> 01:25:37,890
You guys should make it official.
1595
01:25:39,030 --> 01:25:40,800
What?
1596
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:44,300
Listen, I would love for that to happen, I really would.
1597
01:25:44,430 --> 01:25:46,040
I promise, if I do it again
1598
01:25:46,170 --> 01:25:48,710
I won't do it in a public setting with everybody there--
1599
01:25:48,840 --> 01:25:51,340
No, honey, stop, stop, stop! You were right.
1600
01:25:51,470 --> 01:25:52,980
You know me better than anyone.
1601
01:25:53,110 --> 01:25:57,080
I love an audience, I live for karaoke! It's like a...
1602
01:25:57,210 --> 01:25:58,950
It's my own Superbowl, but I...
1603
01:26:00,820 --> 01:26:03,190
Glenn, I wanna be the quarterback this time. Okay?
1604
01:26:05,490 --> 01:26:07,490
-Will you... -[gasps]
1605
01:26:07,620 --> 01:26:10,230
Will you, Glenn Winters,
1606
01:26:10,360 --> 01:26:12,660
make me the happiest,
1607
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:16,270
most-financially responsible woman in the State of Idaho?
1608
01:26:16,700 --> 01:26:19,970
Yes, yes! Of course I will! Yes!
1609
01:26:22,710 --> 01:26:25,540
We're gonna do this back at a Boise bingo hall.
1610
01:26:25,680 --> 01:26:26,810
They're gonna cater everything--
1611
01:26:26,940 --> 01:26:29,510
But we're already in the perfect place.
1612
01:26:32,620 --> 01:26:35,850
[sighs] Honestly, you guys gotta learn to loosen up.
1613
01:26:38,120 --> 01:26:39,760
[Milly chuckles]
1614
01:26:42,460 --> 01:26:44,830
-I love you. -Love you, too.
1615
01:26:45,430 --> 01:26:47,160
-Are we doing this? -Yes.
1616
01:26:47,300 --> 01:26:49,700
-Okay. -Let's do this! Come on!
1617
01:26:49,830 --> 01:26:51,870
[Milly] We're doing this. Let's go!
1618
01:26:58,910 --> 01:27:01,610
You know, I'm usually the voice of caution,
1619
01:27:01,740 --> 01:27:05,520
but this might be the best impulsive decision ever.
1620
01:27:07,120 --> 01:27:10,290
You're my best impulsive decision ever.
1621
01:27:10,420 --> 01:27:12,860
This is a close second, though.
1622
01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:20,760
It's like maple syrup for the soul.
1623
01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:23,330
[softly] Sort yourself out, Terry.
1624
01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:33,640
Mom...
1625
01:27:35,510 --> 01:27:38,150
-Oh yeah, rings. Come on. Okay. -Thank you.
1626
01:27:38,280 --> 01:27:41,990
Okay, friends, guests,
1627
01:27:42,120 --> 01:27:45,260
looky-loos, vice principals...
1628
01:27:45,690 --> 01:27:47,390
We are gathered here today
1629
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:51,190
in the spirit of spontaneous recklessness
1630
01:27:51,330 --> 01:27:54,430
and a Sunrise Package upgrade
1631
01:27:54,900 --> 01:27:59,900
to join Millicent Martin and Glennifer...
1632
01:28:01,270 --> 01:28:04,670
-[Glenn] Glennifer. -...Winters in matrimony.
1633
01:28:04,810 --> 01:28:09,080
So, if anyone can see cause...
1634
01:28:13,480 --> 01:28:15,490
[Kimberly chittering]
1635
01:28:16,620 --> 01:28:18,090
[crowd] Aww!
1636
01:28:19,290 --> 01:28:20,360
Kimberly!
1637
01:28:23,090 --> 01:28:24,260
[crowd] Aww...
1638
01:28:24,390 --> 01:28:27,130
Even the dolphin ships us, honey.
1639
01:28:27,630 --> 01:28:30,430
[softly] Go easy, big girl. Enjoy retirement.
1640
01:28:30,570 --> 01:28:31,830
Bishop, can you speed this up?
1641
01:28:31,970 --> 01:28:34,370
I'd like to be married to this man.
1642
01:28:34,800 --> 01:28:37,340
-Of course. So, do you-- -I do.
1643
01:28:37,470 --> 01:28:38,680
-And-- -I do!
1644
01:28:38,810 --> 01:28:41,640
Well then, the rings.
1645
01:28:41,780 --> 01:28:43,150
-Okay. -Yeah, got it.
1646
01:28:43,280 --> 01:28:44,810
Okay.
1647
01:28:45,650 --> 01:28:48,720
And by the power vested in me by the El Dorado
1648
01:28:48,850 --> 01:28:51,090
and some obscure maritime loophole,
1649
01:28:51,220 --> 01:28:53,760
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1650
01:28:53,890 --> 01:28:55,790
You may kiss your vice principal.
1651
01:28:56,660 --> 01:28:58,830
[all cheering]
1652
01:28:58,960 --> 01:29:00,660
-Wunderschoen! -[Milly yelps]
1653
01:29:03,800 --> 01:29:07,370
This is disgustingly wholesome. I love it!
1654
01:29:11,110 --> 01:29:14,340
Hey, you know what, everybody? Only one thing left to do!
1655
01:29:14,480 --> 01:29:16,380
Waterslides!
1656
01:29:16,510 --> 01:29:18,480
[whooping, cheering]
1657
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:29,660
-First ride as a family. We in? -Here we go!
1658
01:29:29,790 --> 01:29:31,460
On three, Winters. One, two, three, Winters!
1659
01:29:31,590 --> 01:29:32,830
-Way to go! -[all] Winters!
1660
01:29:33,500 --> 01:29:34,430
Don't slip.
1661
01:29:34,560 --> 01:29:36,430
[upbeat island music playing]
1662
01:29:45,740 --> 01:29:47,580
-Wrong lane! -Thank you.
1663
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,030
-[buzzer sounds] -[Glenn screams]
1664
01:30:12,030 --> 01:30:15,270
-[Milly squeals happily] -[Glenn cheers]
1665
01:30:15,410 --> 01:30:19,940
Whoohoo! You did it. How was it?
1666
01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:24,680
So scary! Water... I've water in my butt!
1667
01:30:51,770 --> 01:30:53,680
Still hate vacations?
1668
01:30:53,810 --> 01:30:57,010
No, you know me. I'm all about spontaneity.
1669
01:30:57,150 --> 01:30:58,980
So, this wouldn't be planned at all?
1670
01:30:59,120 --> 01:31:02,620
[tender music]
1671
01:31:25,710 --> 01:31:28,110
-Everybody say, "Brie!" -[laughter]
1672
01:31:28,240 --> 01:31:30,410
-We did it! -[Glenn, whooping] Yeah!
1673
01:31:30,550 --> 01:31:32,680
[camera shutter clicks]
1674
01:31:33,650 --> 01:31:38,960
♪ I like Christmas by the tree With tinsel hanging down ♪
1675
01:31:39,090 --> 01:31:41,820
♪ There's no doubt that Christmas time's for me... ♪
1676
01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:44,490
Grayson, I carried this tree five blocks. Five long blocks.
1677
01:31:44,630 --> 01:31:46,330
I get a say where this reindeer goes.
1678
01:31:46,460 --> 01:31:48,900
You know, if Mom catches you rearranging Rudolph...
1679
01:31:49,030 --> 01:31:51,430
Hey, man, please don't narc on me. I live here now.
1680
01:31:51,570 --> 01:31:52,800
It would be really uncool.
1681
01:31:52,940 --> 01:31:54,540
Okay, this is Crosby's first visit.
1682
01:31:54,670 --> 01:31:57,970
Everything has to be perfect. Do we even own coasters?
1683
01:31:58,110 --> 01:32:00,380
I highly doubt Crosby's relationship goals
1684
01:32:00,510 --> 01:32:01,910
involve coasters.
1685
01:32:02,040 --> 01:32:04,150
Sweetie, it's Summer's first boyfriend visiting.
1686
01:32:04,280 --> 01:32:07,250
It must be perfect. I want our snacks to say, "Welcome."
1687
01:32:07,380 --> 01:32:10,020
Not, "We buy our cheese at the gas station." You know?
1688
01:32:10,150 --> 01:32:12,660
Come on. The Martin girls are beautiful, funny,
1689
01:32:12,790 --> 01:32:15,260
and effortlessly dope! This guy would be lucky
1690
01:32:15,390 --> 01:32:18,260
to even breathe the same air as the two of you!
1691
01:32:18,390 --> 01:32:21,300
He is right, but when did you get so smooth?
1692
01:32:21,430 --> 01:32:22,570
I've always been smooth,
1693
01:32:22,700 --> 01:32:25,130
you were just distracted by my sensible footwear.
1694
01:32:25,270 --> 01:32:27,740
-Honey, not near the cheese! -[doorbell chimes]
1695
01:32:28,670 --> 01:32:30,840
Okay, here we go.
1696
01:32:30,970 --> 01:32:33,140
-Crosby's here! Crosby's here. -Yeah, yeah...
1697
01:32:33,280 --> 01:32:35,910
-He's here. Be cool. -Relax. Yeah, Glenn...
1698
01:32:37,680 --> 01:32:38,750
Hey, sis.
1699
01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:44,790
Fa-la-la-la, la-la-la-look!
1700
01:32:45,990 --> 01:32:47,660
[Sadie squeals happily]
1701
01:32:49,890 --> 01:32:52,300
Mom, Dad... [chuckles]
1702
01:32:52,430 --> 01:32:54,360
-[Milly] Otto... -[Glenn] Sweet Baby Jesus.
1703
01:32:54,500 --> 01:32:57,730
[Otto] When Sadie pops, we'll have two MILFs in the family!
1704
01:32:57,870 --> 01:33:01,440
Who's up for another destination wedding?
1705
01:33:02,410 --> 01:33:05,680
And I thought the octopus smuggling was our rock bottom.
1706
01:33:18,190 --> 01:33:22,860
My job is at stake. You cannot keep taking my specimens.
1707
01:33:22,990 --> 01:33:26,300
Yeah! [barks like a seal]
1708
01:33:26,430 --> 01:33:28,460
-That's a seal. -Right.
1709
01:33:28,600 --> 01:33:30,170
[chitters like a dolphin]
1710
01:33:30,300 --> 01:33:31,470
Security? I got him.
1711
01:33:31,600 --> 01:33:36,170
-Hey, Grace, just you and me-- -No, I can't. Oh, okay.
1712
01:33:36,310 --> 01:33:38,810
-Send some backup, guys. -Just give him a minute.
1713
01:33:38,940 --> 01:33:40,240
Let him finish.
1714
01:33:40,380 --> 01:33:42,140
Contract. Just hold it in, please!
1715
01:33:42,280 --> 01:33:45,820
Oh! [retching]
1716
01:33:45,950 --> 01:33:48,380
Do you have a charcuterie board with some cheeses?
1717
01:33:48,520 --> 01:33:49,920
Yes!
1718
01:33:50,050 --> 01:33:53,390
-I'm king of the world! Sorry! -Sit the [bleep] down!
1719
01:33:53,520 --> 01:33:55,520
Honey, breathe.
1720
01:33:55,660 --> 01:33:58,830
-You're gonna be a grandma. -What?
1721
01:33:58,960 --> 01:34:00,100
It smells like death!
1722
01:34:00,230 --> 01:34:02,260
What has-- Has something died inside you?
1723
01:34:02,400 --> 01:34:04,900
What is wrong with you? Are you okay?
1724
01:34:05,030 --> 01:34:06,440
You need to see a doctor.
1725
01:34:06,570 --> 01:34:07,840
I love dolphin movies.
1726
01:34:07,970 --> 01:34:10,110
Anything with dolphins in it, I'll watch.
1727
01:34:10,240 --> 01:34:13,010
Mm! Tubi has, like, a million of them.
1728
01:34:13,140 --> 01:34:15,380
Dolphin Tale, Dolphin Summer,
1729
01:34:15,510 --> 01:34:17,850
Bernie the Dolphin. Kinda random, but it's okay.
1730
01:34:17,980 --> 01:34:20,080
[Otto whimpering]
1731
01:34:24,150 --> 01:34:29,060
[revolts] Compress! Compress!
1732
01:34:31,430 --> 01:34:33,330
Come on! Give.
1733
01:34:34,430 --> 01:34:37,000
[gagging]
1734
01:34:44,410 --> 01:34:47,110
[Grace] I know you take them! I know it's you!
1735
01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:49,350
The smuggler is back. Send backup.
1736
01:34:49,480 --> 01:34:53,680
Help! Help! Security! Come here!
1737
01:34:53,820 --> 01:34:57,950
Quickly, quickly, we need backup. The smuggler is back!
1738
01:34:58,090 --> 01:35:00,560
I can't believe he's back. Get over here!
1739
01:35:00,690 --> 01:35:03,860
-Get over here! -I'm on lunch!
131471
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