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Narrator: Their choices do
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not necessarily reflect the
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opinion of normal human beings.
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Can anyone help me, please?!
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Narrator: And remember this
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woman?
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Tonight, find out how she
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reacted when the guys told her
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she was on TV.
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What makes this show unique,
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I think, is that we're really
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just four friends having fun.
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We've known each other so
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long that this comes from us,
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and we didn't meet in an
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audition or something.
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We hang out with our friends.
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Everybody can relate to that
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because everybody's got friends
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like us.
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And we're just four friends that
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are lucky enough to do it.
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This is an outlet.
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Take out all our aggression on
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each other.
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We never fight because we get to
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punish each other on a normal
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basis.
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Okay. I got somebody.
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This is it.
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Get ready.
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How are you?
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Okay.
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Scream the order back to him.
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So, that's one double
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white castle, four white castle
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burgers, and a small drink!
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Staying in?!
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Staying!
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Waiting for card authorization!
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Approved!
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Approved!
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Ba-boom! Ba-boom! Ba-boom!
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Don't look at the guy.
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How many cheeseburgers?
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Four double cheeseburgers.
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And what's your name?
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Gary. Gary?
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Yes.
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Okay. And a beverage?
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Uh...
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Bottle of water.
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Just one bottle of water?
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You driving back to Brooklyn
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tonight?
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There's gonna be a lot of
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traffic on the sunrise highway.
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He just got a tip!
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Thank you for the tip, Gary.
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I appreciate it.
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Thank you, sir.
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Hey. How you doing, ma'am?
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I'm great.
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Rhyme everything they ask
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for.
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Are you kidding me?
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Seven shmeeseburgers?
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An order of funion schmings.
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So that's seven beesvurgers,
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one... one funion dings... And
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one five-piece bleeze blicks?
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We do accept blips if you like
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the service.
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Blip... blip cup there.
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All: Oh!
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Murray, woman in. Woman in.
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Tell her, "my girlfriend thinks
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it's appropriate I work here."
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I got to tell you, my
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girlfriend loves that I work
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here...
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"'Cause I'm hung like a
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slider."
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Oh, my god.
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Because she says I'm hung
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like a slider.
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Murr, flirt with this woman.
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Are you okay?
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Did you hurt your arm?
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Yeah.
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Seems like you... let me see.
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What'd you bang it on... over
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here?
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Let me see. Oh, my god.
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You actually have a bruise from
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it.
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Kiss it! Kiss it!
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Anything else?
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Okay. So, let me read that back
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to you.
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"Six cheeseburgers for my
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sugar mama."
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Six cheeseburgers for my
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sugar mama.
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Three cheese-ring sandwiches...
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"For my boo-boo bear."
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for my boo-boo bear.
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Say, "I can give you an extra
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pickle with your order."
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I can give you an extra
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pickle with the order, if you
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want.
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Wink!
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I will tell you, there is a tip
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jar there if you feel you've had
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exceptional service.
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Oh!
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Ohhh!
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You are a sweetheart. Mwah!
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You're a sweetheart. Thank you.
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$8.82, dork.
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Freeze! dork.
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Tag!
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Hold it!
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Stay!
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Don't move a muscle.
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This guy... he doesn't know what
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to do!
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What is he thinking?
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That's amazing.
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What is he thinking?
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E thinking?
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Oh, my god.
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This is epic!
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This is a total stalemate!
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Don't move!
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He hasn't broken yet.
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Don't laugh! Don't laugh!
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He just keeps looking back,
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left, and right at no one.
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He's not saying anything!
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Saying anything!
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This guy... he ain't winning
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this
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hold!
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Hold!
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This guy is not
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talking!
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He's not saying a word!
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Okay. Go.
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Thank you.
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Oh, my god.
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Here you go. Here you go.
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Old English. Old English. Yeah!
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Good morrow, sir, and welcome
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to the castle of white!
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What's thou craving?
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Bring it to me, and I shall slay
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it!
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Two burgers of ham!
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Two burgers of cheese!
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Your wit, sir, is legendary!
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'Tis confusion!
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Squire!
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Sir?
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There's 53 cents.
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All: Oh!
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The most generous lord in all
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the land!
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Some of us were better
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friends in high school than we
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are now.
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Murray and Quinn started out
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strong.
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Now when I look at him, I
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just kind of want to throw up.
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Actually, come to think of
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it, all of us have the same
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reaction to one of us.
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I'm not gonna point any fingers.
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We specifically said we're
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not making fun of Murray!
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Yeah, but then you showed up
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wearing that tie, and we're
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like...
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You guys look like a couple
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of great senseis... not.
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Hi, everybody.
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I'm shisho James. Shisho Joe.
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Okay. So, we're gonna start
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with just some basic moves.
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All right, listen... we're
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gonna play out a scenario, guys.
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Let's play out a quick
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scenario.
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Pretend one of you is a
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bully.
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Let's pretend, for example,
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one of us is a bully.
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Hey, man.
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Hey.
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That's my parking spot.
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I was there first.
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Well, eff you.
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And he goes in for your waist,
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right?
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Using your body weight... right
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down... boom!
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Go for the attack.
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He pulls me in. Seatbelt locked.
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All right, this is the
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seatbelt... seatbelt.
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Start rolling around.
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Oh, my god.
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Say, "all right, class.
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Pair up and start rolling."
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So, we want to get everybody
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to pair up.
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Use your momentum.
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Twist and roll. Twist and roll.
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One roll... you only can do one
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roll.
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Okay.
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What if the attacker comes in
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from behind?
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Murr, jump on his back.
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What do you do in this
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position?
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Drop to the floor... right.
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That's right.
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Right down.
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Okay, guys.
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Now move over to the punching
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bag.
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Take a knee, everybody.
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Take a knee.
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Here's how you deal with a
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bully.
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Let's say this is the school
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bully.
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Double-team that bag and just
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go to town on it.
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So, you're just gonna take
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turns really getting at him...
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Go nuts. Go nuts!
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Just going to town on him
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and telling him, "you can't have
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my lunch money!"
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Jump on him, murr.
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Jump on it like a monkey in a
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tree, you little bastard.
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That's how you take a
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down.
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So, there are four places that
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we always want to protect.
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What are they?
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They're your face first, right?
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Touch his face, Joe.
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Face first... you always want
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to protect it.
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Keep your hands up.
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Second place... neck.
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Touch his neck.
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Always keep your chin down.
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Third place is what?
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Solar plexus.
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That's right... your chest.
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And the fourth place is?
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Yes, your groin... correct.
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Touch his groin.
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Touch his groin.
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No.
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Nice teammate, murr.
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How we doing, everybody?
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Ready for a good class?
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Sal, show them what not to
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do.
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Show them how not to slap a bag.
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You do not want to do this.
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Okay?
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And then back into position.
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You're not gonna win a fight
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doing that.
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Let's do another one.
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Okay. We're gonna show you a
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new move, guys.
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New move.
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We're gonna show you a move
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called the "you go, girl."
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All right. All right.
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Why don't we do some of the
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newer stuff?
293
00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:51,553
You want to do some of the
294
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:52,121
new stuff?
295
00:08:52,122 --> 00:08:53,420
Guys, get down in a guarded
296
00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:53,888
stance.
297
00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:54,554
All right.
298
00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:55,853
Now, when he's gonna strike
299
00:08:55,854 --> 00:08:57,320
me, I'm gonna do what we call
300
00:08:57,321 --> 00:08:58,353
the "you go, girl."
301
00:08:58,354 --> 00:08:59,354
"You go, girl."
302
00:08:59,355 --> 00:09:00,920
Come down with your right to
303
00:09:00,921 --> 00:09:01,454
strike.
304
00:09:01,454 --> 00:09:02,288
Swipe it away.
305
00:09:02,288 --> 00:09:03,254
Say, "unh-unh."
306
00:09:03,255 --> 00:09:04,787
Unh-unh. Unh-unh, girl. No.
307
00:09:04,788 --> 00:09:05,454
Go ahead.
308
00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:06,454
Tickle fight!
309
00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:07,454
Tickle fight!
310
00:09:07,455 --> 00:09:09,087
Tickle fight! Tickle fight!
311
00:09:09,088 --> 00:09:14,288
Tickle fight! Tickle fight!
312
00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:21,788
Is someone gonna help me?
313
00:09:23,988 --> 00:09:24,954
Joe, how you been?
314
00:09:24,954 --> 00:09:25,954
You don't remember me?
315
00:09:25,955 --> 00:09:27,220
Narrator: The guys talk to
316
00:09:27,221 --> 00:09:27,788
strangers.
317
00:09:27,789 --> 00:09:28,920
My trip to Disney... I
318
00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:31,821
spanked that fat kid.
319
00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:35,787
The behind-the-scenes stuff
320
00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:36,887
is half the show.
321
00:09:36,888 --> 00:09:37,488
Yeah.
322
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,220
Because you see the wheels
323
00:09:39,221 --> 00:09:40,587
in motion at all times.
324
00:09:40,588 --> 00:09:41,588
You see us struggling and
325
00:09:41,588 --> 00:09:42,021
cringing.
326
00:09:42,022 --> 00:09:43,120
It's not easy to do these
327
00:09:43,121 --> 00:09:43,521
things.
328
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:43,854
No.
329
00:09:43,855 --> 00:09:45,087
We're scared, and you kind of
330
00:09:45,088 --> 00:09:45,554
see that.
331
00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:46,554
That's my favorite thing
332
00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:47,054
about you.
333
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:47,588
About me?
334
00:09:47,589 --> 00:09:48,787
Yeah, out of the four of us,
335
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,853
you hear your heart on your
336
00:09:49,854 --> 00:09:51,020
sleeve more than anyone, right?
337
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:52,153
Like, you can see the pain in
338
00:09:52,154 --> 00:09:52,654
your face.
339
00:09:52,655 --> 00:09:54,354
Do you see it now?
340
00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:58,221
Here we go.
341
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,887
Who knows what those j.O.S are
342
00:09:59,888 --> 00:10:01,520
writing over there.
343
00:10:01,521 --> 00:10:03,987
Makes me nervous.
344
00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:05,620
Hey, what's going on, bro?
345
00:10:05,621 --> 00:10:06,521
How you been?
346
00:10:06,521 --> 00:10:07,354
Brian.
347
00:10:07,355 --> 00:10:09,720
What?
348
00:10:09,721 --> 00:10:11,120
You're my ex-wife's friend?
349
00:10:11,121 --> 00:10:12,320
No, I've never met you
350
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,054
before, sir.
351
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:14,353
I'm from Copenhagen.
352
00:10:14,354 --> 00:10:15,853
Yeah, in Copenhagen.
353
00:10:15,854 --> 00:10:17,921
I was at that dinner party?
354
00:10:18,954 --> 00:10:20,153
I farted... I farted at the
355
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:21,388
dinner party in Copenhagen?
356
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:24,287
It stunk. That fart stunk.
357
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:25,820
It, like, cleared the room.
358
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:26,588
I must have a twin or
359
00:10:26,588 --> 00:10:27,521
something, because I really
360
00:10:27,521 --> 00:10:28,054
don't remember.
361
00:10:28,054 --> 00:10:28,954
No, don't you remember?
362
00:10:28,955 --> 00:10:30,520
I was like, "hermadur!"
363
00:10:30,521 --> 00:10:31,653
No, I don't...
364
00:10:31,654 --> 00:10:32,787
"hermadur," bro.
365
00:10:32,788 --> 00:10:34,787
You must have met someone who
366
00:10:34,788 --> 00:10:36,153
looks really similar.
367
00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:37,720
No, it's me! It's me!
368
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,153
Just admit you know me!
369
00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:40,820
No, I don't remember you.
370
00:10:40,821 --> 00:10:41,821
Aw!
371
00:10:43,088 --> 00:10:44,220
Hold on one second?
372
00:10:44,221 --> 00:10:45,420
Hey, how you been, man?
373
00:10:45,421 --> 00:10:46,221
How's it been?
374
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:47,088
Long time no see.
375
00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:48,887
Don't think I know you.
376
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,853
Yeah, i'm, uh, Brian from
377
00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:54,420
that, uh...
378
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,387
You know what? I don't know you.
379
00:10:56,388 --> 00:10:57,388
I'm sorry.
380
00:11:04,521 --> 00:11:05,553
We know each other, right?
381
00:11:05,554 --> 00:11:06,354
No.
382
00:11:06,355 --> 00:11:08,420
I met you guys at... at
383
00:11:08,421 --> 00:11:09,553
night court.
384
00:11:09,554 --> 00:11:10,521
No.
385
00:11:10,522 --> 00:11:11,587
I was the guys... I'm the
386
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,753
president of the Dakota fanning
387
00:11:12,754 --> 00:11:13,854
fan club?
388
00:11:14,621 --> 00:11:16,153
Well, anyways, these days, i'm
389
00:11:16,154 --> 00:11:18,153
on Broadway in "Spartacus."
390
00:11:18,154 --> 00:11:19,287
Oh, cool.
391
00:11:19,288 --> 00:11:20,387
Give him a new one, give him
392
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,487
a new one, give him a new one,
393
00:11:21,488 --> 00:11:22,221
give him a new one.
394
00:11:22,222 --> 00:11:23,520
I was at the doctor's office,
395
00:11:23,521 --> 00:11:24,288
like, last month.
396
00:11:24,288 --> 00:11:25,088
Maybe that was it?
397
00:11:25,089 --> 00:11:26,387
The proctologist?
398
00:11:26,388 --> 00:11:29,187
Could that be it?
399
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,787
I... I 100% met you.
400
00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:33,120
I was the one that showed you my
401
00:11:33,121 --> 00:11:33,988
toenail collection.
402
00:11:33,989 --> 00:11:35,887
I got diagnosed with SARS for
403
00:11:35,888 --> 00:11:36,888
like a month.
404
00:11:37,821 --> 00:11:38,887
None of this is ringing a
405
00:11:38,888 --> 00:11:39,288
bell?
406
00:11:39,289 --> 00:11:41,120
I was the guy that stole that
407
00:11:41,121 --> 00:11:42,121
baby's diaper.
408
00:11:43,154 --> 00:11:44,088
Damn it!
409
00:11:44,089 --> 00:11:45,753
What does it take to get
410
00:11:45,754 --> 00:11:48,687
somebody to remember me?!
411
00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:50,720
Oh, my god.
412
00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:51,753
I'm not even sweating from
413
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:52,221
the heat.
414
00:11:52,222 --> 00:11:53,920
I'm sweating from being nervous.
415
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,620
Dude, I know you.
416
00:11:56,621 --> 00:11:58,020
From downtown.
417
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:01,787
From the... the clinic?
418
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,153
Yeah.
419
00:12:03,154 --> 00:12:06,787
No, I... I used to... I used
420
00:12:06,788 --> 00:12:08,520
to... I used to wax
421
00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:09,787
Sylvester Stallone's scrotum
422
00:12:09,788 --> 00:12:10,788
down there?
423
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,121
No?
424
00:12:13,221 --> 00:12:15,887
All right, take it easy, man.
425
00:12:15,888 --> 00:12:19,387
Could have swore I knew you.
426
00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:20,920
Dude, dude?
427
00:12:20,921 --> 00:12:23,920
It's sal.
428
00:12:23,921 --> 00:12:25,653
I totally knew you from the
429
00:12:25,654 --> 00:12:26,787
Christmas party.
430
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,320
They had holy water for
431
00:12:28,321 --> 00:12:29,154
Christmas.
432
00:12:29,155 --> 00:12:30,420
I peed in it.
433
00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:31,553
I thought you... I thought you
434
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:32,720
were... your name's not Kevin?
435
00:12:32,721 --> 00:12:34,487
Hey, what's up?
436
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:35,787
Now I'm just... I'm running
437
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:36,521
cockfights now.
438
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:37,687
Oh, cool.
439
00:12:37,688 --> 00:12:38,554
Yeah.
440
00:12:38,555 --> 00:12:39,687
Sal.
441
00:12:39,688 --> 00:12:40,753
Sal, yeah, yeah.
442
00:12:40,754 --> 00:12:41,421
Yes! Dude!
443
00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:42,653
The guy that pissed in the
444
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:43,288
water, yeah.
445
00:12:43,289 --> 00:12:44,520
The guy that pissed in the
446
00:12:44,521 --> 00:12:45,454
holy water, totally!
447
00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,188
Good to see you.
448
00:12:46,188 --> 00:12:46,988
Dude, take it easy.
449
00:12:46,988 --> 00:12:47,921
If you want to come to one of
450
00:12:47,921 --> 00:12:48,788
the cockfights, hit me up.
451
00:12:48,789 --> 00:12:51,088
He got it!
452
00:12:52,788 --> 00:12:54,820
Oh, hi. Don't I know you?
453
00:12:54,821 --> 00:12:55,554
Um...
454
00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:56,721
Joe.
455
00:12:56,754 --> 00:12:57,654
From where?
456
00:12:57,655 --> 00:12:59,253
Didn't we meet at the, uh,
457
00:12:59,254 --> 00:13:01,021
at spin class?
458
00:13:01,054 --> 00:13:03,453
Yeah, it was spin class, right?
459
00:13:03,454 --> 00:13:06,153
I exposed myself accidentally?
460
00:13:06,154 --> 00:13:07,888
Had a short short on?
461
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:09,221
No? You sure?
462
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,321
Look at me in the face.
463
00:13:14,488 --> 00:13:16,987
Al roker's Christmas party.
464
00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,153
I ate a live squid?
465
00:13:18,154 --> 00:13:19,553
I bled from my nipples?
466
00:13:19,554 --> 00:13:20,753
I make stars out of Spanish
467
00:13:20,754 --> 00:13:21,254
children.
468
00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:22,920
My trip to Disney... I spanked
469
00:13:22,921 --> 00:13:23,721
that fat kid.
470
00:13:23,722 --> 00:13:25,553
I sing in a girl band called
471
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,554
puss.
472
00:13:28,288 --> 00:13:30,020
I can't believe he said it.
473
00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:31,053
All right, well, it was good
474
00:13:31,054 --> 00:13:32,054
seeing you again.
475
00:13:33,088 --> 00:13:34,287
Narrator: Mustaches...
476
00:13:34,288 --> 00:13:35,254
Sorry, mustache.
477
00:13:35,255 --> 00:13:36,487
Don't call me mustache.
478
00:13:36,488 --> 00:13:37,920
Narrator: Butterflies...
479
00:13:37,921 --> 00:13:38,987
Oh, god. Check.
480
00:13:38,988 --> 00:13:40,587
Narrator: And the big
481
00:13:40,588 --> 00:13:43,021
reveal.
482
00:13:46,721 --> 00:13:48,120
"Nosy" came from me having a
483
00:13:48,121 --> 00:13:48,988
very large nose.
484
00:13:48,989 --> 00:13:50,053
Nosy came from genetics.
485
00:13:50,054 --> 00:13:50,854
Accidentally.
486
00:13:50,855 --> 00:13:52,420
Yeah, so, it actually
487
00:13:52,421 --> 00:13:53,887
started... we were on a
488
00:13:53,888 --> 00:13:55,487
high-school trip amongst a
489
00:13:55,488 --> 00:13:57,453
crowd right on fifth Avenue, and
490
00:13:57,454 --> 00:13:59,120
I stood behind strangers waiting
491
00:13:59,121 --> 00:13:59,788
to cross.
492
00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:00,920
And I was like, "oh."
493
00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:02,287
And I was just too close.
494
00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:03,154
I was like, "oh."
495
00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:04,387
Dude, you have no shame
496
00:14:04,388 --> 00:14:05,054
whatsoever.
497
00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:05,554
None.
498
00:14:05,555 --> 00:14:06,853
He was born without that
499
00:14:06,854 --> 00:14:07,554
shame gene.
500
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,153
Blame for my mother for what
501
00:14:09,154 --> 00:14:10,154
I pick up.
502
00:14:10,521 --> 00:14:11,121
I do.
503
00:14:11,122 --> 00:14:12,687
Your mom should be the fifth one
504
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:13,188
of us.
505
00:14:13,189 --> 00:14:14,687
She's him, 2 feet shorter with
506
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:15,988
white hair.
507
00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:21,587
Here we go.
508
00:14:21,588 --> 00:14:24,887
Hello. Welcome to costco.
509
00:14:24,888 --> 00:14:27,153
Jean-Luc... are you French?
510
00:14:27,154 --> 00:14:27,588
Oh.
511
00:14:27,589 --> 00:14:29,153
"I hate the French."
512
00:14:29,154 --> 00:14:30,787
I-I got to be honest.
513
00:14:30,788 --> 00:14:32,988
I hate the French.
514
00:14:34,154 --> 00:14:36,020
Your total is $272.44.
515
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,353
Make it rain.
516
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,088
Make it rain, bitch.
517
00:14:40,188 --> 00:14:40,688
Oh.
518
00:14:40,689 --> 00:14:41,820
Rip it up.
519
00:14:41,821 --> 00:14:42,688
Great.
520
00:14:42,689 --> 00:14:44,454
Just rip it in half.
521
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:48,287
Great.
522
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,188
What, is this?
523
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,687
"I'm sorry. That's not valid.
524
00:14:50,688 --> 00:14:51,720
That's been ripped."
525
00:14:51,721 --> 00:14:52,654
This is ripped.
526
00:14:52,654 --> 00:14:53,654
It's not valid.
527
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,620
What's the, uh... what's the
528
00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:56,953
occasion with all this cake?
529
00:14:56,954 --> 00:14:59,253
Something good?
530
00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:00,687
Yell out... oh.
531
00:15:00,688 --> 00:15:02,720
"Who kicked the bucket?"
532
00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:03,721
Cake.
533
00:15:05,421 --> 00:15:06,687
Who caked the
534
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:07,688
bucket?
535
00:15:09,221 --> 00:15:10,387
"Who caked the bucket?"
536
00:15:10,388 --> 00:15:11,588
"Who caked the bucket?"
537
00:15:12,088 --> 00:15:13,487
Who... honestly,
538
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:14,787
though, who caked the bucket?
539
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,053
I cannot believe you said
540
00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:17,054
that.
541
00:15:18,454 --> 00:15:20,187
The next woman behind you,
542
00:15:20,188 --> 00:15:22,053
when you turn around, yell "milf
543
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:23,321
alert!"
544
00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:26,954
Hey. Milf alert.
545
00:15:28,921 --> 00:15:30,688
This is so hard to do.
546
00:15:31,554 --> 00:15:33,154
Are you guys married?
547
00:15:33,188 --> 00:15:34,253
Shake his hand and
548
00:15:34,254 --> 00:15:35,587
congratulate him on securing
549
00:15:35,588 --> 00:15:36,620
such a piece of ass.
550
00:15:36,621 --> 00:15:38,053
That's a hell of a piece of
551
00:15:38,054 --> 00:15:39,054
ass there, sir.
552
00:15:40,754 --> 00:15:42,320
Anyone ever tell you you look
553
00:15:42,321 --> 00:15:43,420
like Justin bieber?
554
00:15:43,421 --> 00:15:44,421
Hey.
555
00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:48,220
Anyone ever tell you you look
556
00:15:48,221 --> 00:15:50,653
like Justin bieber?
557
00:15:50,654 --> 00:15:51,588
1975 called.
558
00:15:51,589 --> 00:15:53,288
They want their chest hair back.
559
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,154
1975 called.
560
00:15:58,854 --> 00:16:00,621
That's it. They just called.
561
00:16:02,221 --> 00:16:02,754
Okay.
562
00:16:02,755 --> 00:16:04,353
There is a megasale on
563
00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:05,653
tampons in aisle 5.
564
00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:06,921
Nope.
565
00:16:08,988 --> 00:16:10,987
Q, tell her, "I see you got
566
00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:13,053
us juice for tomorrow morning."
567
00:16:13,054 --> 00:16:14,387
Ooh.
568
00:16:14,388 --> 00:16:15,753
Oh. Mango juice.
569
00:16:15,754 --> 00:16:17,087
That was very thoughtful of you
570
00:16:17,088 --> 00:16:18,187
to get that mango juice.
571
00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:19,387
"Is that for us tomorrow
572
00:16:19,388 --> 00:16:19,888
morning?"
573
00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:21,287
'Cause there's nothing I love
574
00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:22,620
in the morning more than a cold
575
00:16:22,621 --> 00:16:23,588
glass of mango juice.
576
00:16:23,589 --> 00:16:26,053
Oh! Oh!
577
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:27,520
Oh. Hello.
578
00:16:27,521 --> 00:16:28,953
Can you just ease up on the
579
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:29,521
attitude?
580
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:30,354
Okay, Diane.
581
00:16:30,355 --> 00:16:31,787
I'm gonna ask you to just ease
582
00:16:31,788 --> 00:16:33,288
up on the attitude a little bit.
583
00:16:33,954 --> 00:16:35,487
My mother... I wish she knew how
584
00:16:35,488 --> 00:16:36,388
to make lamb rack.
585
00:16:36,389 --> 00:16:37,687
It was all TV dinners and,
586
00:16:37,688 --> 00:16:38,188
like...
587
00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:39,253
"Cigarette burns."
588
00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:40,321
cigarette burns.
589
00:16:41,054 --> 00:16:42,387
You're gonna hit the next
590
00:16:42,388 --> 00:16:43,453
customer with a "hey,
591
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:44,121
moustache."
592
00:16:44,122 --> 00:16:47,553
I'm sorry, moustache. I'm...
593
00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:50,153
Don't call you...
594
00:16:50,154 --> 00:16:51,253
See, I couldn't even do it,
595
00:16:51,254 --> 00:16:51,754
moustache.
596
00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:53,820
I had to...
597
00:16:53,821 --> 00:16:55,320
I wasn't speaking to you.
598
00:16:55,321 --> 00:16:57,453
I was speaking to her.
599
00:16:57,454 --> 00:16:58,853
"Don't call me "clown.""
600
00:16:58,854 --> 00:17:00,687
Well, don't call me "clown."
601
00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:01,720
"Don't call me 'clown, '
602
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:02,221
moustache."
603
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,188
All right, moustache.
604
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,387
Don't call me "clown" is all i'm
605
00:17:04,388 --> 00:17:05,388
saying.
606
00:17:06,521 --> 00:17:08,053
Touch him with your nose.
607
00:17:08,054 --> 00:17:10,953
Put your nose on him.
608
00:17:10,954 --> 00:17:14,154
Do it!
609
00:17:15,354 --> 00:17:15,954
Thank you.
610
00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:17,387
Put your nose right on his
611
00:17:17,388 --> 00:17:18,021
shoulder.
612
00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:18,621
Go! Do it!
613
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:19,388
All right.
614
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:20,388
And Richard.
615
00:17:20,721 --> 00:17:21,721
Good. All set.
616
00:17:23,488 --> 00:17:25,420
Put your nose on him.
617
00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:26,421
$20.
618
00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:28,154
$23.
619
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:31,121
All right.
620
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,587
And change.
621
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,254
You can do it. You can do it.
622
00:17:38,021 --> 00:17:39,787
It's tough.
623
00:17:39,788 --> 00:17:41,953
Did you...
624
00:17:41,954 --> 00:17:43,287
Let's go. There he goes.
625
00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:44,653
He's gonna get her nose!
626
00:17:44,654 --> 00:17:46,588
He noses the card!
627
00:17:47,654 --> 00:17:48,454
Total.
628
00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:50,354
Can you swipe there?
629
00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:55,720
Nose!
630
00:17:55,721 --> 00:17:56,753
I'd much rather win a
631
00:17:56,754 --> 00:17:58,020
challenge and not have to do a
632
00:17:58,021 --> 00:17:58,588
punishment.
633
00:17:58,589 --> 00:17:59,920
The worst thing that sucks about
634
00:17:59,921 --> 00:18:01,187
the punishment is you do it by
635
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:02,353
yourself, and everybody else
636
00:18:02,354 --> 00:18:03,753
just gets to laugh at you.
637
00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:05,387
The best punishment, from my
638
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:06,953
point of view, is when sal had
639
00:18:06,954 --> 00:18:08,553
to sing in front of a baseball
640
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:09,121
stadium.
641
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,320
Sal starts singing.
642
00:18:10,321 --> 00:18:11,920
He's making the song up on the
643
00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:12,354
spot.
644
00:18:12,355 --> 00:18:14,120
Within 5 seconds, some dude in
645
00:18:14,121 --> 00:18:15,853
the audience is like, "sit the
646
00:18:15,854 --> 00:18:16,854
down!"
647
00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:19,220
Instantaneously, 10,000
648
00:18:19,221 --> 00:18:20,320
people hated sal.
649
00:18:20,321 --> 00:18:21,987
You watched a man's soul
650
00:18:21,988 --> 00:18:23,653
shrivel and die in front of
651
00:18:23,654 --> 00:18:25,387
drunk hot-dog-eating baseball
652
00:18:25,388 --> 00:18:25,921
fans.
653
00:18:25,922 --> 00:18:27,320
Okay, buddy. This is it.
654
00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:28,587
This is your punishment.
655
00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:30,220
Do you have any idea what you're
656
00:18:30,221 --> 00:18:30,954
about to do?
657
00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:32,353
I'm really nervous, man.
658
00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:33,620
I feel like throwing up.
659
00:18:33,621 --> 00:18:35,187
You can't do anything that bad
660
00:18:35,188 --> 00:18:36,188
to me.
661
00:18:38,788 --> 00:18:40,120
Sal, check this out, buddy.
662
00:18:40,121 --> 00:18:41,520
Let's just see where you are.
663
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,587
Now what?
664
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,320
You're about to go up there
665
00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:46,153
and make up a song that you sing
666
00:18:46,154 --> 00:18:46,988
on the spot.
667
00:18:46,989 --> 00:18:48,687
And they're going to tell you
668
00:18:48,688 --> 00:18:50,487
what the title of your song is.
669
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:51,853
Who's gonna tell me?
670
00:18:51,854 --> 00:18:53,053
The loudspeaker.
671
00:18:53,054 --> 00:18:55,120
Ladies and gentlemen, we have
672
00:18:55,121 --> 00:18:57,053
a very special treat for you.
673
00:18:57,054 --> 00:18:58,853
A young man by the name of
674
00:18:58,854 --> 00:19:00,853
sal vulcano is going to sing a
675
00:19:00,854 --> 00:19:02,753
song he wrote especially for
676
00:19:02,754 --> 00:19:03,521
tonight.
677
00:19:03,522 --> 00:19:05,420
He calls it "butterfly crime
678
00:19:05,421 --> 00:19:06,121
scene."
679
00:19:06,122 --> 00:19:07,420
Butterfly what?
680
00:19:07,421 --> 00:19:08,520
Crime scene.
681
00:19:08,521 --> 00:19:09,587
Oh, my god.
682
00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:11,187
Please give sal a big
683
00:19:11,188 --> 00:19:12,520
blueclaws welcome.
684
00:19:12,521 --> 00:19:14,220
Butterfly crime scene!
685
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,488
Oh, god. Check.
686
00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:19,688
Uh...
687
00:19:28,288 --> 00:19:30,620
♪ I have always loved
688
00:19:30,621 --> 00:19:32,987
butterflies ♪
689
00:19:32,988 --> 00:19:35,587
♪ since I was a child
690
00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:36,720
boo.
691
00:19:36,721 --> 00:19:39,053
♪ But sometimes there'd be too
692
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:40,254
many ♪
693
00:19:41,088 --> 00:19:41,754
you suck.
694
00:19:41,755 --> 00:19:44,753
♪ I murdered the butterflies
695
00:19:44,754 --> 00:19:46,187
♪ and...
696
00:19:46,188 --> 00:19:47,853
♪ dead butterflies
697
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,587
♪ dead butterflies
698
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,587
♪ what can be better than a dead
699
00:19:51,588 --> 00:19:52,887
butterfly? ♪
700
00:19:52,888 --> 00:19:56,353
♪ Butterfly crime scene
701
00:19:56,354 --> 00:19:59,987
♪ butterfly crime
702
00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:03,021
♪ sce-e-e-e-ne
703
00:20:04,754 --> 00:20:06,053
aah! Look out!
704
00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,821
Oh, no! There he goes!
705
00:20:15,788 --> 00:20:18,653
Yeah! That's how you do it!
706
00:20:18,654 --> 00:20:20,387
Narrator: For the first time
707
00:20:20,388 --> 00:20:22,053
ever, you will get to see how
708
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,520
this woman reacts when the
709
00:20:23,521 --> 00:20:27,488
jokers expose themselves.
710
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,920
Narrator: For the first time
711
00:20:31,921 --> 00:20:33,520
ever, see how this woman reacts
712
00:20:33,521 --> 00:20:34,653
when the jokers expose
713
00:20:34,654 --> 00:20:35,354
themselves.
714
00:20:35,355 --> 00:20:36,853
Murray, you got to put them
715
00:20:36,854 --> 00:20:37,621
on your head.
716
00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:40,520
It's not to steal panties.
717
00:20:40,521 --> 00:20:42,520
Here we go! Here we go!
718
00:20:42,521 --> 00:20:44,987
Ohhhhhhhhh! Oh, my god!
719
00:20:44,988 --> 00:20:46,687
Oh, my god!
720
00:20:46,688 --> 00:20:48,721
Oh, my god!
721
00:20:51,154 --> 00:20:55,753
These are... these are yours?
722
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,487
I am so sorry.
723
00:20:58,488 --> 00:21:01,153
I thought these were... I
724
00:21:01,154 --> 00:21:02,054
apologize.
725
00:21:02,055 --> 00:21:07,220
I thought these were mine.
726
00:21:07,221 --> 00:21:08,587
Here she goes.
727
00:21:08,588 --> 00:21:10,521
She's going to ask help.
728
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:26,254
What?
729
00:21:30,688 --> 00:21:34,187
No!
730
00:21:34,188 --> 00:21:35,054
One camera.
731
00:21:35,054 --> 00:21:35,954
No, I'm not.
732
00:21:35,955 --> 00:21:37,421
Yes. There's cameras there
733
00:21:37,454 --> 00:21:38,587
and there and there.
734
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:40,220
Let me tell you something...
735
00:21:40,221 --> 00:21:41,820
When I first came in, I saw him
736
00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:43,854
do it, but I'm thinking it was
737
00:21:43,888 --> 00:21:44,888
his.
738
00:21:51,488 --> 00:21:54,454
What is your name?
43787
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