All language subtitles for HowardTv - Henry Hill The Drunk 2002 [Henry Hill on Howard Stern (subtitles made by using whisper)]

Henry Hill's supposed to stop by in a few
minutes.

He made it, Howard, but he's in
questionable condition.

Oh, we better get to him quickly.

Hey, Gary, I'm having trouble hearing you
on this thing.

What happened to that?

It is... I don't know.

Can you hear me now?

No.

Somebody touched it.

All right, I'll get Scott.

I'll get Scott on it.

It sounds like it's shorting, though.

Just give me testing one, two.

Testing one, two, three.

Testing one, two, three.

Hold on.

Somebody taped it.

Go ahead.

Say it again.

Testing one, two, three.

Is that better?

Yeah.

I mean, it's always been the same.

I'm about this far away.

Is that all right with you?

Yeah, it's better now.

Okay.

That's good.

I fixed it.

I don't know what I did, but I fixed it.

There you go.

It'll be back on the Fritz on Monday.

So what are you saying about Henry Hill?

He's in questionable condition.

He called me this morning.

You know, Henry says one sentence, and
you can tell which Henry you're getting.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

And so I think we're getting a little bit
of the wackier Henry.

And then Ronnie just
came here and says he

just arrived and he had
snot all over his coat.

Oh, gee.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Vae.

The scottie on him.

I thought he was on the wagon.

I thought he was doing so good.

Howard, I talked to him in Vegas.

You know, Henry Hill
has more 40-day chips

from AA than anybody
I've ever met in my life.

See, if you put all the 40-day chips together
from AA... He's been sober for years.

For years.

Can he trade them in for a 1,000-day chip?

You know what?

I think that Henry thinks when he gets the
40 days, he's cured.

And he tests it.

I love when Henry's drunk.

It's going to be good.

But I also have... Don't
you have the feeling...

I have the feeling that he can't live
with, you know...

He can't live with being out of the mob.

Well, I don't think it's being out of the
mob.

I think it's all the stuff he did.

Oh, yeah, right.

And all, you know,
and then he has no, you

know, he's not with any
of those guys anymore.

He's, like, alone.

He misses them.

So you think he's drinking because he
feels bad for killing everybody.

Yeah, yeah.

He's got a lot of stuff.

You know, when he's sober, there's nothing
to stop him from thinking about it.

Interesting.

You see, I was thinking just the opposite.

But I think you're right.

I think he's drinking because he misses
the life.

And he's a shadow of his former self.

Well, hey, to make our guest feel better,
can I get drunk?

You're three steps away from being Henry.

I'm with you.

Come on, Henry!

What's with you, Henry?

You're not normal, Henry!

Oh, you're right.

He's probably feeling... You think he's
capable of feeling bad for what he did?

Yes, I really do.

It's very sweet.

It's funny because you
think that, I think what I

think, and Artie thinks he's
drinking because it's fun.

It's fun?

Hey, it's just fun.

Come on!

I'm not covering up anything.

I'm with Robin because...

I mean, I talk to Henry a lot.

And when Henry's
not drinking, he really is

a good guy, except
for all that crap he did.

And he seems to have, like, you know, like
a conscience and a soul and everything.

And when he's sober, he really is a great
guy.

Well, like in the movie Goodfellas,
which is his life.

You know, Henry's, like, kind of a good
guy.

And then all of a sudden, he just, two
seconds later, he becomes an angry monster.

Right.

So, it's like, there is, there's two,
it's weird.

There's two sides to everybody,
in a sense.

Like, there are times you feel good and
you can be kind of good-hearted.

And then all of a sudden, you get angry.

But when he gets angry... Right.

Things happen.

He can kill someone.

When I get angry, I might snap at an
intern.

Right.

He would kill the intern.

Right.

But he's like one of those
guys who would, you know,

come out of his rage
and be in jail for murder.

And he'd feel bad about it.

Right.

We were going to do a, I got to tell you a
funny story.

We had a meeting yesterday, our usual
Thursday meeting.

And we were going to prank Henry Hill
today.

Oh, boy.

Let me tell you what we were going to do.

What were you going to do?

We had a hidden camera.

Uh-huh.

Gary was going to go in and go,
Henry, look, I got to talk to you.

I got to tell you, this is so great.

And I'll tell you why we chickened out.

Henry, I got to talk to you.

I have a neighbor, you know, up where I
live.

And, you know, the guy makes so much
frigging noise.

And he's a wise guy.

So I went over, I said to him,
hey, could you please stop?

And the guy said, F you to me.

And then I, you know, I said, ah,
what the hell?

What's the big deal?

So he makes a little noise.

Now, his kids are ragging my house.

This guy's telling him to do it.

He took the air out of my tires two times
already.

I had it with this guy.

I got to get rid of him.

Can you help me out?

And see what happens.

And see what happens.

Henry would have said, look, I'm not in
that life anymore.

Gary, you don't want to get into that.

You're right.

So, all of a sudden.

Gary says to me this morning, you know,
I was thinking about it.

What if Henry goes, okay, look,
you want to take care of this guy?

Here's a guy's name.

Just call this guy.

Don't worry about it.

I'll take care of it for you.

And I said, Jesus Christ.

Then Henry's going back to jail.

Right.

Then the guy he named, it's going to be
subpoenaed for the name.

And then we get killed.

And then we get killed for being idiots.

I said, you know what?

Let's not mess with Henry.

You know, it's more trouble than it's
worth.

You know, it's all fun and games until
you're really involved.

What a great way to end your reign,
though.

On the radio.

Yeah, what a great premise for a movie,
huh?

In a mob hit.

The practical joke that turns into a mob
hit.

All of Gary's neighbors are dead.

Shut the fuck up.

Where is it?

Where's the studio?

Where's the studio?

Where's the studio?

Over there, but you can't go in yet.

Yeah, I got it.

You've got to hang out, Henry.

They've got to call for you.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

You can't go in yet.

Bust his balls.

Bust your balls.

What is it, Ronnie?

Henry's drunk.

And he just... He just
insists on coming in.

All right, walk him in.

Walk him in.

You know, to show you how out of it Henry
is, the intern, you know, went up to him

with a release, the sign, and he goes,
Who the F are you?

Is he going to curse the whole time?

Henry, no cursing, baby.

And, Ronnie, you stay here.

Then we can go off and ice pick me.

Did he get pat down?

Henry looks better with a little weight on
him.

He looks good.

He does.

He looks like he's healthy.

You actually look better than I've ever
seen you look.

All right, sit down.

What are you drinking?

What's in the can?

Heineken.

Heineken?

The good stuff.

What happened?

You were doing so good.

What happens to you when you're sober?

Help him with his headphones.

He's got the... He put
down the Heineken.

He's so drunk, the headphones can't stay
on him.

Holy Christ!

Feeling no pain, Henry.

Did you hear what we were going to do to
you?

We were going to play a practical joke on
you, but we backed out.

But you always do that to me.

No, we were going to ask you in private.

Gary was going to tell you he was having
trouble with one of his neighbors.

The guy was... We'll
burn the house down.

I see.

You could have done it.

Let me ask you something.

You were doing...

No, we'll just...

We'll torch the joint, you know?

See what I mean?

Henry!

Henry!

I'm worried about you, Henry.

You may fold under questioning.

Henry, do me a favor.

Get the microphone.

Put it in front of your face.

Put the Heineken down for a second.

Can I ask you a question?

Can I have a drink?

Oh, dear.

The beer's not enough.

What do you want?

He wants a martini, but I don't
have the... We don't have a bar here.

You can get that.

We have that.

I got that in my briefcase.

You mean to tell me you're turning into
Hank the Dwarf?

You're telling me your
drinking is so out of control

now you can't get through
an interview without drinking?

Please.

Please.

Alex.

You know, he's got the Heineken in his
hand and he's asking for a martini.

What happened this time?

You were off the booze.

Excuse me.

I have to take a drink.

Tell me what happened.

I slipped.

How many days were you sober up until
this?

Almost 10 months.

Wow.

Get close to the microphone.

Push it into his mouth.

Now, have they caught you yet since you
fell off the wagon?

Shhhh.

Are you supposed
to... Is it part of your...

You're not supposed to be drinking?

Get close.

Nobody cares.

Yeah.

No, you remember the last time he was
here.

California they care?

But you're drinking in New York.

Yeah, you're safe here.

It's the 500 mile deal, you know what I
mean?

You go 500 miles out of California and you
can drink.

Right.

That's according to Henry.

So what happened?

Why'd you slip?

Huh?

Why'd you slip?

Why'd I slip?

You know, I'm...

I'm an alcoholic, Howard.

Yeah, but what makes you...
What don't you understand?

I like to drink.

No, but I mean, you were doing good.

Something must have happened.

It was so boring.

No shit.

No S-word.

No S-word.

The S-word, you can't use it.

He didn't even hear himself say it.

Can I say scumbag?

Yeah, scumbag you can say, but try to just
talk clean.

That'll be your safest bet.

Pretend we're your children.

Hmm.

Oi.

What, are you gonna hand this over to
black people?

Hello there.

Alright, wait, wait, wait.

Henry, don't show me pictures.

Don't show me pictures.

He's got the four children.

Are your kids still with the black people?

Let me see.

Let me see the picture.

That's my family.

Oh my god.

Oh my goodness.

Who are the black people?

The family.

Who are they?

The foster parents.

Are those the foster parents?

No, no, no, that's my son-in-law.

What?

Oh, your son-in-law's black?

Your daughter made a black guy?

Oh, Henry.

You can't go home, Henry.

I don't want to go home.

No wonder you're drinking.

Henry, what up?

Don't you Italian mob guys?

You hate...

Okay, put the pictures away for a second.

That's the funniest picture I've ever seen
in my whole life.

That's my family.

Well, it's just funny because it's you.

What do you mean?

Well, because you're the mob guy.

How is that funny?

What do you mean it's funny?

Funny how?

Funny how?

Like it's a clown?

It amuses you?

Wait, you're talking
to... No, not at all.

You're a guinea.

You're a fucking guinea.

No, no f-word.

Henry, remember we're on the radio.

Henry, Henry.

Henry, talk into the microphone and look
at me.

Look at me.

Don't look at Gary.

Forget Gary.

Forget Gary.

Take a sip of your Heineken.

Oh, jeez.

Henry, don't curse.

Goomba.

What's up, Henry?

Goomba.

Salute.

Salute.

Give him the salute.

Salute.

You sober?

Yeah, right now.

Just like you, though.

Broccoli Rob.

Peace again.

Goomba.

Disgracia.

Mensa for look.

Let's go kill someone.

This is the most fun I've ever had on this
show.

Henry, let's go kill someone.

Disgracia.

Let's do it.

Let's go kill a few people.

Isn't it time?

Let's bump off a few of our enemies.

Like the old days.

Hey, what happened with Robert Blake,
Henry?

Oh, Jesus.

What is your theory?

That was a botched phone call.

He's a schmuck.

Why?

Is he sloppy?

An idiot.

Why?

Talk to me.

Tell me why.

You've got theories.

Stop drinking for a second and talk to me.

Yeah, tell us how he should have done it.

If you were Robert Blake, how would you
have killed your wife?

Oh, please.

I could have...

First of all, I wouldn't have talked about
it.

Right.

Number one, don't ask ten million people
to kill your wife.

Even Henry knows that.

You're funny.

I would have dug the hole first.

Yeah, go ahead.

You know what I mean?

Got the sack of lime.

Go ahead.

You're funny.

The hole with a twist of lime.

That's what I want.

The sack of lime.

Go ahead.

No, seriously.

If a guy wanted to get rid of his wife,
like a Robert Blake high profile...

He would disappear.

How do you do it, though?

Tell me how they do it in the mob.

Give us the rundown.

How do you do it?

Give me a scenario that
you would think would

be appropriate where
he wouldn't get caught.

You just make her disappear.

So, in other words, why shoot her, run
into the restaurant, oh, I forgot my gun.

You just say she's gone.

Like Chandra Levy's gone.

There's no body.

There's no one around.

No one can find her.

I would say you take her on a boat and you
push her off.

No, that's wrong, though, right,
Henry?

Because the body could float up somewhere.

Hey, but the neighbor guy...

Henry, tell me why pushing a woman off a
boat is a bad idea.

Well, you know, first you chop them up.

Right.

How do you do that?

You make pieces.

How do you do it, though, with a saw?

Wait, you get the chainsaw going?

All right, listen.

I'm gonna take a break.

You sit there.

You sit there.

Sober up.

No.

Sober up because I need to ask you how
Robert Blake should kill someone.

You want a coffee?

Can we keep drinking?

Tell me when you started drinking,
last night?

No, a couple of days ago.

Yeah, we talked to him on the phone.

So has this been for a couple of days
straight through?

When you fall off, how long do you go
usually before you decide to straighten up?

What?

I'm in trouble.

You're in trouble?

You need an intervention?

No, no shit.

I'm in trouble.

No S-word.

No S-word.

I didn't say... You're dead.

You don't even know you said it.

Listen to me.

A couple of days ago, you started
drinking.

And now you haven't stopped drinking
since.

Have you been up and did you fall asleep
for a while?

Yeah, I slept.

Now have you done anything besides drink?

Well, I was out with the cops last night.

You were with the cops?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The feds.

They got me loaded, the feds.

Oh, Jesus, Henry.

Is that true?

Yeah.

No S-word.

Well, why would they do that?

Because they're nuts.

All right.

Is it because you were nervous coming here
that you started drinking?

I come here to dig up a shoebox.

Really?

Yeah.

What's in the shoebox?

What's in the shoebox?

You want money?

You want money?

You got money in the shoebox, Henry?

Yeah.

Oh, where's that money from?

Here's Paulie, who's in the mob.

Go ahead, Paulie.

Oh, dear.

What?

I'm a stool pigeon.

I'm a rat bastard.

Yeah.

I got the money, honey.

Uh-oh.

Go ahead, Paul.

You're so lucky you're still walking
around.

You want to know something?

Come and see me.

Come and see you?

Yeah, I'm over here.

How much... How much...

One of these days, you know, you walk
around with your head up in the air.

You're fucking right.

Hey, no F-word.

No F-word.

Remember where you are, Henry.

You walk around with your head up in the
air.

Yeah, why?

We're gonna cut your prick off sticking in
your mouth one of these days.

Believe me.

Paulie, are you in the mob currently?

Many moons have passed.

Many moons have passed
since... Get out of here!

You sound like a wise guy.

You ain't got no co-yoonies.

What posse are you with?

What group?

Who are you with?

Who?

That's Last Stool Pigeon.

Yeah, I'm a... I'm a proud stool pigeon.

You're proud because Tommy's not aroun.

You're proud because Jimmy's not aroun.

You're proud because Anthony Stabiulli's
not aroun.

They all dead.

I'm a live!

I'm a live!

You're alive.

You're alive, walking around.

Disgraced.

Yeah, you laughed.

You laughed, you drunken prick!

Storm – год 먹 mulher You fucked straight!

You've got balls, come over here.

Come to the studio.

You've got to walk out of that studio.

What?

Come downstairs.

You better have a hundred eyes around your
head.

I don't need a hundred eyes.

One of these days.

One of these days what?

One of these days.

You're a big man, aren't you?

Henry, you think you drink because you're
afraid that the mob's going to get you?

Show me the phrase.

Howard, I live the feel of my life.

I live the more feel when I was in that
life with my friends.

What life with your friends?

Frankie the Fag was your friend.

You know?

In other words, you were afraid they could
hit you at any time.

No, I mean... Let me
tell you something.

That life, that good fellow life is
bullshit.

Well, don't use the S-word.

You've got good things to say,
but you can't... Listen to this guy.

He's no respect.

He's got nothing.

No respect.

He doesn't even have respect for you when
you ask him not to curse on you.

Come on, you're a punk.

You're a punk.

You're on the phone.

You're a punk.

What am I supposed to be?

Right there in your face?

In the studio?

Please...

I'm telling you where I'm at.

I got clad.

Come and get me.

That's right, we know where you're at.

We got clad.

Believe me.

We know where you're at.

I'm a Howard Happy Rat.

You goddamn...

You're a goddamn...
I did the right thing.

I changed my life.

You changed your life?

You're a drink and prick discreped rat
bastard.

But he changed his life.

Salud.

Changed his life in what way?

Salud.

How?

Hey, Paul, I'm going to go take a break
and thank you for calling.

And that's it.

Well, what do you want me to do?

I want you to throw this prick out.

You mean me?

You mean Artie?

Hey Henry, tell Howard the time you and
Frankie the Fag hung out all the time.

I love fags.

You do?

You love Frankie the Fag?

Yeah.

You remember Frankie the Fag?

Yeah, he was like a nice guy.

Nice guy.

He was a nice guy.

He was your good buddy.

I ain't gay.

Henry's not gay.

Yeah, okay.

You think he is?

You believe all the shit that he said?

Don't say the S word.

Excuse me, you believe all the crap that
he said?

I'm just listening.

You think that whole movie's true?

I don't know.

He was nothing.

He was a piece of garbage.

You mean you're saying Henry built himself
up in the movie?

He's a glorified rat bastard.

That's all he is.

All right.

Well, all right.

Thank you for calling in, Paulie.

Thank you, Paulie.

All right.

That's Paulie.

Was it really a Frank in the Fag?

It was a Frank in the Fag.

Jimmy, what is it real quick?

Hey, Henry Hill, man.

Paulie's all mad, but I figured it out,
buddy.

I know why you're still walking around on
those two legs of yours.

Why?

Because you know it's a worse fate than
death having your daughter marry one of

them titsoons.

She's a butana, your daughter.

Come on, come on, come on.

That's out of line.

That's out of line.

That's out of line.

Yeah, don't go there, man.

Come on.

You got something against titsoons?

And fags?

I love fags and titsoons.

I'm a reformer, right?

To the fags.

Salute to the fags.

Henry, how did the word titsoon start?

Titsoon, eggplant, eggplant.

Eggplant, right.

I thought that was a moulignon.

Isn't a moulignon?

She's so gorgeous.

Isn't a moulignon eggplant?

Yes.

Black.

So what's titsoon?

Titsoon is a slang word.

For what?

For black?

What does it mean?

Black, black guy.

But what does titsoon mean?

All right.

He's drunk.

I got to take a break.

I'll try and sober him up.

When I come back, I want you to answer a
couple of questions.

How should Robert Blake have done it?

Can I play the money?

No.

What?

I won money?

You want to win French money?

Oh, come on.

We got to do that.

I never graduated elementary school.

Give me a two handicap and I'll beat him.

Two handicap?

Yeah!

Dad, get out of here!

Who beat you 7 to 2?

.

I want to talk to you about... I'll
tell you what, I bet I'll beat him.

I want to talk to you about
some... I don't want the money.

I give the money to the...

You think you could be Fred?

Yeah.

I know I can't.

I want Fred's money.

I know I can't.

There's no way.

I know... I'm not going to... You
can't fix this like a basketball game.

I think you can.

I think somebody got to Fred.

Give me five.

All right.

You want...I'll donate it.

I don't even think you could beat KZ.

Oh!

There's a concept.

You're drunk off your skull.

Let me take a break.

I want to ask you what happened about this
drinking.

Don't tell me during the commercials.

I don't want to talk to you during the
commercials.

Sit there and sober yourself up.

All right?

Was he going to his meet?

We got to find out the whole thing.

Was he doing the right thing?

He drinks at the meetings.

We'll be back right after this with Henry
Hill.

Henry Hill's out of his mind this morning.

He went off the wagon.

He is drunk.

He grabbed a bottle of Cuervo during the
commercials.

You know who brought him to New York?

Who?

Martin Scorsese.

Is that true?

Yeah, Henry's in town
doing voice tracks for the 10th

anniversary DVD of Goodfellas
that's gonna be coming out.

Oh, that's gonna be great.

And you're loaded out of your friggin
mind.

When do you have to go do that?

I did it.

Oh, you did it.

It's time to drink.

You celebrate.

You know, you look a little like Joe Pesci
now.

As you get older.

Joe's a scumbag?

Is that what you mean?

Joe's a scumbag?

Why?

Because he thinks he's a wise guy.

He does?

Yeah.

In real life?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, you know, he plays the part.

You know what I mean?

Is he a wise guy?

No, he's a fucking... No, no F word.

No F word.

No F word.

Come on.

We're gonna have to let you go.

We want to play with you, but we gotta let
you go.

He's a waiter?

A waiter.

Joe Pesci's a waiter?

What?

He tries to be like one of the mob guys?

He's a douchebag.

He hangs around with the tough guys?

Yeah, he goes up to Pleasant Avenue.

Could I please have a drink?

Where is Pleasant Avenue?

Share your cuervo with Artie.

What's the matter with you?

He's a Paisán.

Artie, you want a drink?

I gotta keep my job, man.

You need the money?

You don't need the money.

It's paper.

It's all bullshit.

No S-word.

Wait a minute though.

What is so attractive about this?

The S-word.

The S-word is not our fault.

Don't say the S-word.

The F-A-A?

No, I'm going to have to throw you out of
here if you keep saying the S-word.

You're the F-A-A?

FCC.

All right.

So tell me about...
Fuck the FCC.

Oh, bro.

I'm going to have to take you out of here.

Wait a minute.

No, no, no.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Now I'm going to teach you a lesson.

Look at my eyes.

You see my eyes?

You see them?

You got blue eyes.

Yeah.

Listen to me.

I'm going to fix you.

See, you're playing with me.

Henry, do you want to stay?

Henry, I'm going to fix you if you don't
comply.

No.

You're going to be thrown off the air.

Do you want to stay, Henry?

Do you think you can stop saying the
F-word?

And the S-word.

And the S-word?

Do you think you can do it?

I guess I'll get to it.

You know, say scumbags
and... Scumbag is it.

That's all you could say.

Ay, ay, ay.

Ay, ay, ay.

Do you realize, Henry, though,
we will have to throw you out.

Well, I could talk tonight like a ham on
the clock.

Oh, my goodness.

All right.

Henry, I'm going to do a
serious... All those words are okay.

...interview with you.

Why don't you put down the booze and drink
some of the coffee.

Drink some coffee.

What happened to the bagel?

I thought you were eating breakfast.

Where's your bagel?

Right there.

Eat it.

Let me see you take a bite of that bagel.

You need something in your stomach.

I got my teeth.

Oh, your teeth are not in.

No, my teeth are not in.

Let me see.

Let me see if your teeth aren't in.

Put your teeth in and do an interview.

Oh, his teeth just fell on the floor.

He's still going to put them in.

I got to put them in.

All right, Henry, talk to me about...

What?

...who's going to win the Kentucky Derby.

I'm telling you, Steinbrenner's horse.

Steinbrenner's horse.

Are you saying that because you know he's
going to win?

Do you know something?

It's fixed.

It is.

It fixes it.

60 to 1 shot or 30 to 1 or something.

I don't know.

He's going to pay about $92 or something.

You got money on him?

Yeah.

All right.

I'll throw 20 on him.

What the hell?

You never know.

Henry's just being a big shot.

You never know.

You know Henry's going to the Kentucky
Derby tomorrow.

Are you going?

Henry, I'm hopping on that.

Where are you getting the money to go to
the Kentucky Derby and all these...

The shoe box.

The shoe box.

You're here in New York getting a shoe
box.

He's in here complaining to me.

He says he doesn't know if the old
hundreds he can cash them in.

Oh, you think they still have a trace out
on those?

What is the money from?

From your old mob days?

You buried it in a shoe box?

Yeah, you know.

And you know that the money's still there?

I got to go out to Rockville Center.

You know where Rockville Center is.

Yeah.

You're telling me
there's a shoe box filled

with hundreds in Rockville
Center somewhere.

People are going to be digging holes all
over.

They just dug up Rockville Center.

Is it from the Lufthansa heist?

It is.

Cabiche.

Right.

Is all the money there?

No.

No, just your part.

It's about two million.

Two million?

If I drive you, do I get in and cut it?

Yeah.

Put it on the gas.

Two million.

You're being a wise guy now yourself.

You lie.

You don't have two million in it.

How much was... the whole heist wasn't two
million, was it?

How much was the whole heist?

Eight.

Really?

Eight million and your share was two
million?

Wow.

Shh.

You just said it.

He's telling us the shoe box is here.

Don't tell nobody.

Now shush.

So you're a wealthy man?

No.

Well, if you have two million...

I'm broke.

You're bloke?

Broke.

I'm broke.

Let's get that cooking show coming out
through Lion's Den.

Is that what it is?

Lion's Gate.

Lion's Gate.

Yeah, they're very successful.

You want to know something?

I was going to pitch it to you.

Why would you do a cooking show?

They should follow you around with a
camera like Ozzy Osbourne.

Yeah, well, this is even better.

Don't drink.

Put that down.

Oy vey.

At this point, it's almost gone.

It doesn't even matter.

How much was in that bottle?

Oh, it was about half a bottle.

Well, it is Friday, Robin.

Tell me...

Listen, I'm running out of time and I want
to ask you a couple of questions.

I'm being serious about Robert Blake and
I'm not saying...

If a guy wanted to... Robert Blake,
as you say, was very obvious.

What's that?

What does he do?

What's that?

What does that mean?

I don't understand.

What does it mean?

What does that mean?

He should have had the lime.

The lime.

You're saying that Robert Blake,
if he wanted to dispose of someone,

you dig a hole somewhere with lime...

He was loaded.

You know what I mean?

He's... I mean, he's a... you know...

I don't even want to go there,
okay?

What do you mean?

Why?

Talk to me about disposing of someone.

Well, you know, you sprinkle the lime,
they vanish.

Right.

So in other words...

There's nothing even to dig up?

Nothing.

Wow.

How long does it take for a body to
decompose in lime?

Three months.

Three months and they're gone.

They disappear from the earth.

You're laughing.

I'm not laughing.

I'm looking at you.

You're ready to fall off the couch.

What happened in your personal life to
cause you to start drinking again?

Are you still with your girlfriend?

Yeah, Kelly.

I love her.

You said to me, hey, I'm 59 years old.

I can't live without drinking.

Really?

Is that what he's determined?

Why is he drinking?

Did you see the son-in-law?

He told me he's going to go back to L.A.

What do you mean?

Does it bother you to have a black
son-in-law, be honest?

No, it don't.

It don't.

As the mob says, it's too soon.

Artie.

Yeah.

Artie Latagano.

What's up, baby?

No, I mean, what's the big deal?

You know, I mean...
There's no big deal.

I got a spook for, you
know... Oh, my God.

I got a what?

A spook.

Talk to me about Artie's bet on Tiger
Woods.

Retard.

You even think I was dumb for that.

Oh, God.

He should never bet against Tiger Woods.

He's not a spook.

Oh, Jesus.

What?

What did he just say?

He's another spook?

Yeah.

What did he say?

Never bet against a black guy?

No.

Never bet against black.

Maybe.

She's so pretty.

All right, listen.

She's so...

I'm a little upset with you that you're
drinking again.

Why?

Because you were doing so well.

What do you mean?

You were getting your life back together.

Ten months, Henry.

Get the hell out of here.

What are you talking about?

See, I...

I'm not saying the F word.

Get the hell out of here.

Where do you go to drink?

I'm in Malibu.

Right.

And all of a sudden...

I got some property on the sand.

Right.

I do.

Yeah.

You're living the good life.

Is life so boring without alcohol?

Yeah, it is.

It sucks.

It sucks.

It does.

Does it... Do you drink because you want
to forget about all the people you killed?

Howard, you're the only guy that ever
admitted that I killed people.

You did?

Yeah.

So, when you... What is it?

Did they come back and haunt you?

Howard, you're the only guy.

You're the only fucking guy.

Don't say the F word.

You're the only guy
that I... You know...

Yeah, I whacked a couple.

All right.

When you whacked...
I whacked three.

You whacked three people.

When you... You're the only
guy that I've ever admitted to.

Right.

And the government and all that other
bullshit, you know?

Don't do the S-word.

Your confession is important.

Don't say the S-word!

Stop with the S-word!

I've got to throw you out of here now.

I'm enjoying talking to you, but the
S-word is not going to fly in my studio.

You're the only guy that I admitted to.

About whacking people.

Yeah.

Who were the three?

You know what I always wanted to know?

Could I ask you a question now that we're
all friends?

No, no, seriously.

Spider.

Was that you or not?

Do you know where Spider is?

Like you do.

Like it's just always asked.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

So what happened?

They didn't put the lime on Spider?

Spider is with the lime?

I'm not proud.

You know what I mean?

So is that why you're drinking?

You know.

To drown out the voices of the dead?

Well, wait a minute.

These three people he whacked,
did they deserve whacking?

Yeah.

They did.

What were their offenses?

They were scumbags.

What did they do?

They were fucking...

Don't say the F word.

They were what?

They were rats?

They were rats.

Were they people who
were involved with the mob

or were they people who
did things to the mob?

No, no, no, no, no.

These are mob guys.

Yeah.

And they just crossed you?

I am proud of it.

What did you do?

What did they do wrong to deserve the
whacking, as you call it?

They were stool pigeons.

They were?

Yeah.

No, I'm just... What?

I'm just, I'm...
Just getting there.

Henry Carter is trying to figure out where
the hell to look.

So, they were stool pigeons?

He can't find them.

Who did they rat on?

Um, they tried to rat on The Boys.

They did, but you yourself ended up
ratting.

Well, you know...

What, Howard?

Henry Hill.

All right, so wait a second.

Not again, Howard.

So, wait a second.

So, wait a second.

I like it.

I admit it to you.

You're the only guy.

Well, I'm proud that you admitted it to
me.

But I think the drinking is to drown out
the voices of the dead.

Is that true?

Do you hear it?

Do they haunt you?

Tree heads.

Do they haunt you?

What do you mean?

Do the dead haunt you?

No.

Do you think about them and then you get
uncomfortable?

Do you feel guilty?

Do you feel bad?

No, no, no, no.

Robin, they were scumbags.

Oh, so you don't feel bad about it.

Henry, when you go to the AA meetings or
the rehab or whatever, right?

And you always have to,
you know, you got to write

that letter explaining
like why you're drinking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got to make amends.

Right.

When you write the letter, why do you
write that you drink?

What's the reason?

I don't drink, you know.

I mean, normally I don't drink.

No, you guzzle.

First time you killed one of these...

The first time you killed one of these
rats, how'd you do it?

I was about 16 when
I first... The first time?

The first one?

Oh, that was a hundred years ago.

Yeah, I'm 59.

Yeah.

What'd you do?

With a bow and arrow?

No.

How'd you do it?

Tell everyone how you whacked them.

With a bullet.

A bullet?

What, to the head?

Yeah.

One bullet?

Yeah.

Or multiple bullets?

How?

Why are you going there?

Did the guy see it coming?

What am I going to ask him?

Did he see it coming?

No, he didn't see it coming.

He didn't see it coming?

Where was he?

In the car?

Yeah.

Back of the head, right?

Back of the head?

I mean, were you... Why
are you guys kidding around?

Who's kidding around?

Who's kidding?

I want to know.

Yeah, guys, stop messing around.

Come on.

Who's kidding around?

Right?

Oh, I'm glad I'm over here.

I mean, do you think I'm kidding?

I'm not kidding.

Do I moose you?

It sucks, Howard.

It does.

It sucks.

You feel bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I went into the army, you know,
I was a paratrooper and all that shit.

Don't say the S-word.

Please don't say the S-word.

I didn't say the S-word.

I was a paratrooper.

That's not a... there's no S in
paratrooper.

Alright, so when you got out, when did you
kill your second guy?

About... I was 22 or something.

22?

Yeah.

Another stool pigeon?

Yeah.

Who ordered this?

You to do this?

Paulie.

Paulie ordered it.

Paulie ordered it?

And if Paulie orders it, you gotta do it.

What are you gonna do?

So whack him.

I whack him.

Wow.

What did... wonder what he did?

He was telling somebody something?

It doesn't matter, you know what I mean?

I just had to do what I... How'd you do
that one?

Behind the head.

Bullet.

Ice pick?

No.

Bullet.

The third guy was the ice pick.

Why kill him in your car, though?

Because doesn't the blood get a little
bit... No, no, no, no, no.

Where'd you do?

In the woods?

Ice pick.

Stabbed him, yeah.

Stabbed him in the woods?

I made him walk.

You made him walk?

I didn't.

He knew he was gonna die.

He did?

He took it like a man, or he cried?

No, he cried.

He cried.

Well, who wouldn't cry?

I would cry.

Stuff.

Stuffed and all you're gonna get.

Were you laughing at him when he cried?

No.

No.

You understood?

You know, I had to do what I had to do.

Right.

What happens if you didn't do what you had
to do?

What would happen?

I'd have got whacked.

You would have got whacked.

He'd have been right there with him,
yeah.

See?

Seriously, I would have got whacked.

Wow.

No, I mean... So you've got a lot to drink
about.

How come... Robin what?

That wasn't in the movie.

In the movie he never kills anybody.

In the movie he hits a guy with a gun over
the head.

In the movie he's stunned that the other
guys are killing people.

He's like, what are you guys doing?

He's always the guy digging the hole.

Over abroad you beat up a guy.

Over abroad, who cares?

Plenty of broads.

Plenty of broads.

I am so miserable.

Really?

Yeah.

There's no joy in your life?

No joy in my life.

Because after you whack some guys there's
no joy, right?

Am I correct?

Is there nothing that interests you?

It sucks.

You can't get a hobby or some kind of
interest?

Have you ever, you know, tried painting?

Yeah.

Yeah, he did.

I do watercolor.

Don't spill the coffee on me.

You want to take a spin class with Gary
later?

What about stamp collecting?

Why are you so miserable?

Talk to me.

Talk to me.

What about your grandchildren?

Oh my goodness, he's drinking everything.

Oof.

Oof.

Maroon.

Oof-pa.

Oof-pa.

Oof-a-toof-a.

We gotta get those teeth used.

I love you.

I love you too, buddy.

Listen to me.

You're in a lot of pain.

I'm a scumbag.

I ain't in a lot of pain.

Alright, everyone knows that.

Well, he's being honest.

I'm laughing at Howard.

He's done some bad things.

He's done some bad things.

You have a good side to you.

Gary, don't even say a word.

You have a good side to you and a bad side
to you.

Almost like in the movie.

Unfortunately, his dark side.

But homicide.

Yeah.

Yeah, homicide is bad.

You have a homicide and a regular side.

Henry, look at me.

How, why?

So, talk to me about your misery.

When you wake up, you're just miserable
and you need that drink.

Is there anything that brings you joy.

When you see the kids... Like the
babies and the children... The tzatzum.

Anybody... copper.

You're a spook kid.

Did that bring any joy?

You're funny.

You said you were sober for 10 months.

In the 10 months... Every day you get
up do you think about it all day long?

Yeah, of course.

You think about drinks?

Yeah, of course.

No, no, no.

Not the F word.

I want to get high constantly.

You're high now for a couple of days and
you feel better.

No, I don't feel better.

He told me he's going to go back to LA and
he's going to get back in again.

You're looking at me like my dad.

I feel bad for you.

You feel bad for me?

Yeah, I feel bad for you.

You tell me you're sad every day of your
life.

I'm sad.

You're suffering.

There's no talking to anybody.

Nothing can change this.

I try to look sweet.

You tried all the shrinks?

What happened?

It doesn't work.

It doesn't work on you.

You say it.

You're a mess.

I'm a mess.

I ain't a mess.

I survive.

I live my life.

I dig up the money.

Alright, well listen Henry.

It's not a happy story.

What was worse though?

Killing a man or your daughter marrying a
black guy?

Which was worse to you personally?

Shannon...

Shannon...

You know, she did this on her own.

Right.

Go ahead.

Alright, go ahead.

Talk to me.

She did this on her own.

He's old school.

Why do you keep looking at me Henry?

Tell your story.

Alright, Robin can handle it.

She understands.

I can handle it.

You know, you're comfortable with it now.

But at the beginning was it hard?

Shh.

Oh dear.

Did he turn out to be a good guy?

Yeah, he's a good guy.

Did you ever cry about it?

No.

Like the guy in the woods?

No.

I said the F word.

Do you think that she just found a guy she
loved?

Do you think this was some sort of act of
rebellion?

You know, I believe in love.

You know what I mean?

Look at me.

You can't look at me, can you?

I mean, you're my psychiatrist.

No, no, no.

Look at me.

I listen to you every day.

The third guy you killed.

How old were you when you killed him?

22.

What did he do?

Ride again?

Why did you end your killing at 22?

I was told to murder him.

Who, Paulie?

Yeah, Paulie told me to murder him.

And how did you do him?

Ice pick.

That was the ice pick dude.

But why did he never kill anybody after
22?

He never got told to kill anybody after
22.

After he proved himself.

He made his bones and he didn't have to do
it anymore.

He made his bones and he didn't have to do
it anymore.

No, I was Irish.

I'm half Irish, half a Jew.

You could never be a made man.

Never.

Was that your biggest disappointment in
life?

No, no, no.

At the time, you wanted to be a made man?

What is it?

I have a question now.

I thought the ice pick thing was with the
Pesci character.

Well, in the movie...

We think Henry's the only guy in the
history of the mob that used an ice pick?

No, but...

Gary, the question
is, I'm wondering if

Henry's the one who
killed the Pesci character.

John, get out of my show.

Leave me alone.

Please, I don't need your help.

I'm doing just fine on my own.

Who are you, Gotti?

Stuttering Gotti.

Stuttering Gotti over there.

That's what I wanted to say.

I had to do what I had to do, okay?

Right, right.

So you did it, and now you're suffering
because the voices of the dead haunt you.

True?

Is that what we're talking about here?

You want forgiveness, don't you?

You would like forgiveness.

I do shuva.

What's that?

You do shuva?

I never met her.

You said shiva?

What's shuva?

Come on, you don't even get it.

No, what's shuva?

I'm a Jew.

You're a Jew?

I thought you were Irish.

I'm a Jew, okay?

I do shu, okay?

Are you talking about shu?

No, shuva, shuva, shuva.

What's a shuva?

Howard, come on.

I don't know what a shuva is.

No, I mean, you know, we respect...

When did you become a Jew?

I've been a Jew for 30 years.

Diverted?

Yeah, I'm a Jew more than you.

Oh, aren't the Jews lucky?

Wow.

The Jews are like, gee, look who's
fighting over who being a Jew.

Howard Stern.

Henry Hill.

I'm a Jew!

No, I'm a Jew!

Did you ever beat a man to death with a
menorah?

Right in the back of the neck.

Why don't you fix the Middle East?

Yeah, man, we could use you.

You'd be forgiven.

I have a plan, okay?

Uh-oh.

Go ahead.

Who knows?

Maybe you got something.

Go ahead.

What's the plan?

Henry's gonna get elected the Prime
Minister of Israel.

That's the plan.

Henry, stop drinking.

Seriously, I mean...

What's your plan?

I figure it out, okay?

You know, I do what I gotta do,
okay?

Go ahead.

I help kids.

You're looking at me like I'm stupid.

Who is?

Well, I'm not doing anything.

That's the drink talking, Henry.

We're looking at you like we always do.

You're just coming down off a high.

I'm looking at you as I always look at
you.

I'll tell you what.

I help the kids, you know what I mean?

But it doesn't equal out.

What do you mean?

That's what I'm asking you.

Does it equal out in
your mind that you're a

good guy over here
and a bad guy over there?

Are you afraid of going to hell?

Is that what's going on here?

Fuck hell.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Not the F word.

Henry, come on.

Come on.

There's no hell.

You better hope not.

What is it, Gary?

Henry's gonna turn this place upside down
looking for that bottle.

I know.

Oh, he keeps looking for the bottle?

Yeah.

That's why he keeps looking over there.

Where'd it go?

Gary hid the bottle.

Henry, I had to.

Just out of common decency, I hid it.

Although, I gotta tell you, there was a
shot left.

Brian, you're on the air.

Hey, what's going on, Howard?

Hey, Brian.

How you doing?

What can we do for you?

I wanna know how come Henry broke the two
codes of the mafia there.

He wasn't supposed to tell anybody and not
write it to friends.

And he did both.

Yeah, what?

What do you wanna know?

How could you do that?

How?

Yeah.

I got another question for you.

What?

Did you like it when your dad beat you in
the movie?

Yeah, my dad beat the shit out of me.

How did you handle it?

Did you think your
dad turned you into a

life of crime because
he was so tough on you?

Nah.

You don't blame your father?

Don't you think if you had a little
attention from your father, maybe some love?

Maybe if he hugged you?

My dad never hugged me.

Never kissed you?

Never touched you physically?

Never said, I love you, son?

Never was proud of you, was he?

No.

He was an animal?

A monster?

No, he wasn't a monster.

What was he?

He was a man.

Was he cold?

Yeah, he was cold.

Do you think your father...

I respect my father.

If he had just taken you and shown
you the way... Shut up, Howard.

Let me ask you.

If he showed you the way, would you have
made it?

Would it have been a different life?

I could have went to Columbia.

I could have went to Harvard.

You know what I mean?

I could have, you know...

Went to school.

No, I mean, my old man...

My old man was a union guy.

You know what I mean?

A union?

A union guy.

I thought you said your old man was a
union guy.

How did you get here?

But it didn't work out between you and
your old man?

No.

Did he stop talking to you after you got
into the life?

No.

He was pissed off.

He was ashamed of you?

Yeah, you know, I mean, my father...

My father started Local 3 in New York.

Did you try to give your father money and
say, Dad, here's some money?

He didn't want no money.

He didn't want dirty money?

No, he didn't.

He was an honest man.

Yeah, you know.

Do you wish you'd been more like him?

Howard, why?

I'm asking you.

I mean, your old man, I mean, you know,
I mean, my father was Irish.

You know, your father was a Jew.

And...

Alright.

Whatever that means.

I don't know.

Well...

No, no, no, no, no.

I gotta tell you.

I mean, my father, you know, beat the shit
out of me.

Don't say the S word.

No S word.

Your father beat you?

Yeah.

So how can you tell me you love him?

He kicked my ribs.

He kicked... He
busted your ribs?

Yeah, busted my ribs a whole bunch of
times.

So how can you tell me you love your
father?

He was an animal.

He abused you.

He didn't abuse me.

You could say it.

He didn't abuse me.

He kicked you and broke your ribs.

What kind of father is that?

He's an animal.

He kicked me on a stoop.

On a stoop, he kicked me.

Isn't it true if he understood you,
life would have been different?

He just gave you some care?

You wouldn't have been looking for a
father in the mob.

Right?

He kicked... he broke my ribs.

How did you feel when he did that?

Like I deserved it or something.

Like you were bad?

Well, what brought on the kicking in the
ribs?

What do you mean?

Nothing.

Was it just for no good reason or had you
done something?

No.

Alright.

Wow.

It's a sad life, Henry.

No, fuck you.

I think you just got more out of him than
like 20 psychiatrists.

I was gonna say.

I think the psychiatrist never let him
drink.

He opens right up.

Do the psychiatrists let you drink when
you go in there?

Maybe that's what the answer is.

You might have a breakthrough here,
man.

Yeah, I saw a breakthrough.

Henry, look at me.

Take care of yourself.

Henry, look at me.

Who understands you better than me?

You want to hug a man, don't you?

Look at me.

Now I'm talking man to man.

You want to hug a man, you want the love
of a man, don't you?

I kill three people.

The love of a man?

Shh.

Be quiet.

Come here.

Look at me.

What's up?

Henry, look at me.

Why?

You wish you could hug your father,
don't you?

No, my old man is dead.

He's dead.

He's gone.

Why?

You kill three people?

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

And with that... Well, here
is Henry's father's ghost.

Henry, I love you.

I don't care that you killed the three
people.

You're my son.

Isn't that nice?

Your father.

Dominoes, no buscum.

Egg of spirit.

But put your teeth back in.

Go ahead, Brian.

You're on the air.

That was Henry's dead dad.

Hello?

Yeah, Brian.

I just want to know why this guy killed
stool pigeons, if he's a stool pigeon.

Well, that's the way it works.

When somebody tells you to kill someone,
and if you're in the mob, you got to do it.

Yeah, I know.

But when they decide to kill you,
I guess you're rad on them.

Are you pretty?

Rich, you're on the air.

He wants to be a radio guy.

We should do Henry Hilton.

I'd listen to his show.

Are you kidding?

Rich, you're on the air.

You'd better.

Yeah, I just want to say for the record,
I have to agree with Howard and with Robin

that he drinks because he's trying to get
rid of the demons in his head.

Yes.

That the darkness is
just taking him over

and he just wants the
drink to throw it away.

A salud, Henry.

A salud.

All right, we got to take a break.

Henry Hilton.

Did Henry ever thought of trying to
contact the dead people?

Would you like to?

Would you want me to bring in one of those
freaks to contact the dead?

You could talk to your dad and the three
people you killed?

Want me to bring him in?

I think Henry drinks because
he's slowly trying to kill

himself and he ain't got the
balls to put a gun to his head.

I got balls.

He's got balls.

He's got balls.

You've never tried suicide, have you?

Have you ever tried to kill yourself,
Henry?

No.

Don't do it.

Don't do it, Henry.

Sober up, man.

Well, there you go.

Henry Hill.

Kentucky Derby tomorrow.

Before you sober up, give me that tip real
quick.

What's the name of the horse?

Who's going to win the basketball?

The Nets?

No.

What's the fix in?

Steinbrenner's horse.

Is he going to win the basketball?

No, no, no.

The race.

Henry, what's the name of the horse?

What's the name of the horse?

You don't know the name of the horse.

Let me see.

You said you could beat Fred and win
Fred's money?

Let me give you a question.

Fred, leave the room for a second.

I'll give you a question.

Alright, you ready?

I'm a retard.

Here we go.

Here we go.

You ready?

What does the subject in the painting The
Blue Boy hold in his right hand?

Okay.

Pinky.

Pinky and Blue Boy.

What U.S.

state's capital is Columbia?

What U.S.

state's capital is Columbia?

Blue.

I blew it.

What light element is N.E., the chemical
symbol for?

No.

Okay.

What is the only U.S.

coin that features a president's image
twice?

Nixon.

Which Academy Award winning movie about
two misfits was originally rated X?

How would you...

You should know that one.

These are the questions.

What was the name of the doorway between
the divided Berlins?

See.

What did Gerald Ford's flop acronym W.I.N.

stand for?

Alright, time's up.

You didn't get one right.

You want to see Fred?

Let's see how he does.

Fred, come back in here.

Let me go find Fred.

Go find Fred.

You see what I mean?

You're not going to beat him.

Fred, you ready?

Yeah, why not?

Alright, here we go.

I'm not going to tell you how many Henry
got right.

I'll give you the clock.

Let's put it this way though.

He didn't surprise us.

What does the subject in the painting The
Blue Boy hold in his right hand?

Pinky.

Why does that?

No, a hat.

What U.S.

state's capital is Columbia?

Washington.

What light element is N.E.

the chemical symbol for?

Pass.

What is the only U.S.

coin that features a president's image
twice?

A 50-cent piece.

Which Academy Award-winning movie about
two misfits was originally rated X?

Midnight Cowboy.

What was the name of the doorway between
the divided Berlins?

Iron Curtain.

What did Gerald Ford's flop acronym WIN
stand for?

W-I-N.

Whip Inflation Now.

You want to go back at all?

No.

Alright, what did he get right?

In 40 seconds, Fred got three right.

Yeah, he got three right and Henry got
zero right.

So you win.

You didn't give Henry the Gerald Ford
question, though.

Whip Inflation Now.

Yeah, when he said he just
looked at how... Henry, listen.

I didn't say that.

It's not a winning day.

I got one for you.

How many teams in the Big Ten Conference?

No, no, no, no.

I can tell you how, you know what I mean.

How, uh... Alright,
I got one for you.

I got one for you.

Wait a second.

No, no, no.

Jackie Robinson, I know his batting
average.

Alright, but we can't just ask you Jackie
Robinson.

No, no.

You're asking us to ask you what you know.

You wanted to play Winfred's Money.

What was Jackie Robinson's lifetime
batting average, Henry?

392.

How many times do you
have to stick an ice pick

in the back of a guy's
head until he's dead?

392.

Once.

What's Babe Ruth's real name?

Babe Ruth?

No.

Mickey Mantle.

I mean... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm asking you something.

What's Babe Ruth's real name?

Please.

He was a fag.

Alright, listen.

George Herman Ruth.

Alright, listen.

Henry, I don't know.

You still got your website?

Henryhill.com?

Nah.

Don't want to talk about that?

I ain't here to promote shit.

Don't say this.

Alright, I gotta end this.

Henry, thank you for coming in.

It's always good to see you.

You worn out the button.

You said the F word a million times,
the S word a million times.

And he insulted one of our employees to
vote.

You're the Middle Eastern guy that works
here.

And he goes, what are you?

A goddamn Indian?

A Pakistani?

What are you?

He goes, I'm American.

Alright, thank you Henry for stopping by.

Henry Hill, who of course inspired the
movie Goodfellas.

And now is back drinking.

But who knows, he might go back to
California and sober up.

You will, won't you?

Baby.

We'll see.

Henry?

Henry?

Henry?

You got into some sad stuff today.

Do you want to listen?

I never fucking admitted that I killed
anybody.

Can't you get in trouble for admitting
that?

No.

Why?

Why not?

Do you have immunity?

Well, you had to admit it when these guys
took you in, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know.

No, I mean, seriously.

You know how it... I mean,
you're the only... Fuck it.

You're my psychiatrist.

No.

No, yeah.

I'm not a psychiatrist.

Yeah, you know.

Henry.

Do you feel like you got some stuff off
your chest today?

Yeah.

I killed two people, I told them.

Come on.

Clunk.

I'll come down with you.

Henry.

What?

Did you feel better when you came in?

Yeah, I kept fresh.

I did, you know.

Where now?

So where to now?

What do you mean?

Where are you going now?

Where are you going after you leave here?

I'm gonna go dig up a shoebox.

What's in the shoebox?

You coming with me?

Yeah, I'm coming with you.

You got money?

I got no money.

I got money.

What hotel are you staying at?

Moose.

Which one?

Which hotel?

The Moose.

Which day in there?

The Moose.

The Moose?

I don't know.

George, make sure that's locked.

Yep.

Thanks.

Take care of yourself, buddy.

Get your foot in there, Henry.

You look very happy.

After Henry,

he was just spent.

He was sitting on the couch.

He wouldn't get up.

He looked like he was entrenched.

Then he starts saying, Howard,
when you look at me, you're my

psychiatrist, and you hate me,
and you're judging me.

And I go, no, Henry, I'm just listening to
you, man.

And then he gets into these uncomfortable,
weird moments.

I wish there was a way to interview
someone and then magically, or shoot them,

kill them, and then I wouldn't have to
deal with them in real life.

All right, all right.

There you go.

That's the new policy.

After we interview someone, I want them
killed.

You need like a code word for us to know.

To remove somebody.

Here's the code word.

Every time there's a guest in here,
remove them.

Except if it's a hot chick.

Yeah, but the whole conversation with you
and Henry was kind of compelling.

It was compelling, I gotta admit.

Yeah, I can't wait to see that,
because I only watched it.

I didn't hear what was going on.

Henry goes, Howard, I
swear to God, you're the only

guy I've ever confessed
to that I killed three people.

Look at you.

You're looking at me.

You think I'm an idiot.

You're looking at me like I'm an idiot.

I go, I'm just listening to you,
Henry.

It was his own projection.

It got a little heavy.

And then I said, Henry, I'm going to have
someone walk you down and get you a cab.

I don't care.

It doesn't matter.

I thought he was going to start crying or
something.

Well, listen.

He obviously has a lot of regrets about
his life.

And then you say to him, your father kicked
you, he beat you, all this kind of stuff.

And he's like, so what?

You know, the macho thing.

But he's sad.

That almost brought him to tears too.

Yeah.

I'm like Barbara Walters.

I was just down there with Henry.

We took him down to get him a cab and
everything.

The guy wanted to take a picture with him.

Henry kind of wanted to go, so he smacked
him in the face.

See, Henry knows about wanting to leave.

I should have smacked Henry to get him out
of here.

I'll tell you the other thing that was
weird.

You can really, really see the effects of
drinking.

I thought he looked better.

I'm talking about while he drank while he
was here.

When he came in here, he was drunk and he
had one mood going on.

But after he hit the half a bottle, he was
way drunker than when he first walked in.

And that really made his mood dark.

What did he say to Tom on the way out?

F you.

I admired that.

Thought you could get behind him.

We definitely get behind that.

I'll tell you, we have
some footage from he went

down to smoke a
cigarette and he was talking.

And it's just very compelling.

.

Ah!

My knees hurt.

So bad.

You been up for a while?

No, I just rolled up.

I just slept.

I'm going to put my teeth in.

Ok?

.

Ronnie.

Ronnie.

What did you just do?

I put my teeth in.

He's a compelling guy.

He's the new Ozzy Osbourne.

Dan, you're on the air.

Yeah.

See, Ozzy Osbourne's interesting.

Henry, if you had the camera on him,
he's going to... he is now on his way to

New Jersey to dig up a shoebox filled with
hundreds.

Rockville Center.

Rockville Center.

Maybe he meant Rockefeller Center.

Go ahead, Dan.

It's under the ice.

Dave, you got to get that guy back on
there.

He's great.

You like Henry.

Oh, yeah.

Makes me want to have tequila.

What makes you want to drink Cuervo?

Yeah.

I got to admit, he does get you.

Hey, Six of the Miles is coming up.

What the heck?

Did you have any yearning to drink when
you saw him?

No.

No, it didn't make me enthusiastic about
drinking.

No.

I did.

It got already going.

It didn't look fun or anything.

Yeah, I was like, what in the world is
attractive about that?

It kind of looked fun.

No, it didn't.

I mean, he was laughing for a little
while.

At the end, it looked bad.