Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
3
00:02:16,508 --> 00:02:20,008
SEX / DREAMS / LOVE
4
00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:36,674
"If you, as a human being, have the
capacity to recognize goodness and beauty,
5
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,467
and be excited by it."
6
00:03:39,592 --> 00:03:45,966
"If you have the capacity
to recognize injustice and act on it."
7
00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:53,300
"If you have the capacity to recognize
evil and distance yourself from it."
8
00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:57,799
- I think that's how it went.
- That's beautiful.
9
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,091
Why did that make you uncomfortable?
10
00:04:01,092 --> 00:04:04,842
It wasn't what he said, it was ...
11
00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:09,217
At first it was lovely.
He looked at me and said those words.
12
00:04:09,342 --> 00:04:15,008
But then something changed,
and it felt dark and uncomfortable.
13
00:04:15,883 --> 00:04:21,007
I usually can't remember my dreams,
but this one I remember in detail.
14
00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:26,507
- It's lodged in my body and won't let go.
- And that's uncomfortable?
15
00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:31,007
- Are you into David Bowie?
- No, not at all.
16
00:04:31,008 --> 00:04:38,049
I'm not even positive
it was David Bowie, but ...
17
00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:45,674
It began with me coming out of
the toilet cubicle, wherever this was,
18
00:04:45,675 --> 00:04:50,299
and he stood there washing his hands,
and he looked at me in the mirror.
19
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:55,050
Our eyes met,
and then he smiled and said that.
20
00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:57,758
Or something along those lines.
21
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:04,133
At first, I didn't realize it was Bowie.
I thought it was God.
22
00:05:04,258 --> 00:05:07,049
- God?
- Yes, God.
23
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:11,133
Then I thought it was Anni-Frid from ABBA.
24
00:05:11,258 --> 00:05:14,592
But then I realized it was David Bowie.
25
00:05:14,717 --> 00:05:18,842
And he was washing his hands?
Earlier you said he was on his phone.
26
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:24,674
It changes. It's strange how dreams change
when you start talking about them.
27
00:05:24,675 --> 00:05:30,842
You fill in the blanks
to create a coherent narrative.
28
00:05:32,092 --> 00:05:39,092
It was Bowie, but whether he was washing
his hands or on the phone, I'm not sure.
29
00:05:39,967 --> 00:05:41,800
Anyway ...
30
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:47,799
Then he looked at me and smiled,
and then he walked up to me ...
31
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,592
... and then you had sex?
32
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,592
No.
33
00:05:52,717 --> 00:05:55,842
What? No. Why would you say that?
34
00:05:55,967 --> 00:06:00,133
But there was something
about the look in his eyes ...
35
00:06:01,217 --> 00:06:06,132
It was calm, firm,
friendly and full of compassion.
36
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:11,132
It was like I could surrender
all my worries and just ...
37
00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:14,133
He was taking charge from here.
38
00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:16,549
And that felt so good.
39
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:20,967
It was only when he
walked towards me I realized that he ...
40
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:27,132
He looked at me as if I was
someone I didn't quite recognize.
41
00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,675
Or rather ...
42
00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:33,675
I didn't recognize myself
in his eyes, you know?
43
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,758
I'm not entirely sure.
44
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:41,717
- I don't really understand it myself.
- So how did he look at you?
45
00:06:41,842 --> 00:06:46,175
It felt like he looked at me
as if I was a woman.
46
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:55,758
And then ... he said hi ...
or he sang hi, rather. Like, "Hello, you."
47
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,175
And I sang hi back at him.
48
00:07:04,175 --> 00:07:11,924
My voice sounded strange, but that
didn't matter in the dream, somehow.
49
00:07:11,925 --> 00:07:18,091
It was only when I woke up it went
from feeling liberating to feeling ...
50
00:07:18,092 --> 00:07:20,174
... uncomfortable.
51
00:07:20,175 --> 00:07:23,216
How odd, that he looked at you
as if you were a woman.
52
00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:27,842
- Was it sexual?
- No, I ... I don't really know.
53
00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:33,217
No, I've never thought about
being another gender.
54
00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:38,092
Nor have I felt attracted to men.
55
00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:43,092
Those feelings can arise out of the blue
even if you haven't felt them before.
56
00:07:43,217 --> 00:07:46,092
I don't really think they can. Do you?
57
00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:48,383
I think so.
58
00:07:49,592 --> 00:07:53,217
I think ... I don't know
if I should say this.
59
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,550
The thing is ...
60
00:07:56,675 --> 00:07:58,717
I had ...
61
00:07:58,842 --> 00:08:02,007
... sex with a man yesterday.
62
00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:05,758
You did? OK? A ...
63
00:08:05,883 --> 00:08:08,257
A man ... Yesterday?
64
00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:11,258
A client. We were sweeping his chimney.
65
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:18,925
Terje had left, and I was standing
in the kitchen chatting to this guy.
66
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:22,257
We'd found some cracks in his chimney.
67
00:08:22,258 --> 00:08:28,425
And then he suddenly asked
if I wanted to have sex with him.
68
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:35,257
I thought I'd misheard him,
but then he repeated himself.
69
00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:38,383
I was so taken aback I started laughing.
70
00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:42,256
I said no, of course.
Thanks, but no thanks.
71
00:08:42,257 --> 00:08:44,257
But ...
72
00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:49,424
I couldn't get angry with him.
Or maybe I could have ...
73
00:08:49,425 --> 00:08:53,924
It was just completely out of the blue.
Totally bonkers.
74
00:08:53,925 --> 00:08:58,300
I walked out into the street and ...
75
00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:04,300
I gave it some thought, and then ...
76
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,967
... I went back inside.
77
00:09:08,092 --> 00:09:10,299
- And then you had sex?
- Yes.
78
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,300
Wow. Yeah, okay. That's ...
79
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:20,299
I'm just shocked. Maybe not shocked,
I just didn't know you were gay.
80
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:25,049
You've never mentioned ... Have you?
81
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:28,299
No, no. I'm not gay. I know that much.
82
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:32,175
I've never done anything like that.
That was the first time.
83
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:35,341
- If you're not gay, why did you do it?
- Good question.
84
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:39,175
That's the thing.
I'm not sure. Because I ...
85
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:43,341
But I think it was a bit like your dream.
86
00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:47,092
Something about the way he looked at me.
I've never had ...
87
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:53,341
... anyone look at me like that,
like they're lusting for me.
88
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:58,257
- Completely shameless.
- That look, right. I don't know.
89
00:09:58,258 --> 00:10:02,050
I don't think that's exactly
how David Bowie looked at me ...
90
00:10:02,175 --> 00:10:06,633
I know, it was just an association. But
you look uncomfortable.
91
00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:08,341
I didn't want that.
92
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:12,424
But this was a client?
You can't do that.
93
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:16,217
You can't have sex with clients,
you understand that?
94
00:10:16,342 --> 00:10:19,216
Yes, of course.
I don't know what happened.
95
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:22,217
But what was it like? Wasn't it weird?
96
00:10:22,342 --> 00:10:25,257
Yeah, it was a different thing altogether.
97
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,382
But it felt good.
98
00:10:27,383 --> 00:10:33,050
It was actually pretty mind-blowing,
to be honest.
99
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:36,092
You look embarrassed. I'm sorry.
100
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,717
- I get it. It's a bit much.
- It is a bit much, but ...
101
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:47,717
I guess I think ... I just think ...
I'm not sure quite what to think.
102
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:52,382
- Aren't you worried about STI's?
- He used a condom.
103
00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:56,882
- When he took me from be...
- Yeah, okay.
104
00:10:56,883 --> 00:11:00,008
But ... didn't it hurt?
105
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:04,425
Maybe a bit, but no, it was mostly ...
106
00:11:05,425 --> 00:11:09,258
It was peculiar.
107
00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:13,425
- So now you're ...
- What?
108
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:16,424
- Gay?
- No, no.
109
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:21,757
I don't plan on doing it again.
But it was nice, in a way.
110
00:11:21,758 --> 00:11:26,424
The feeling that a complete stranger ...
111
00:11:26,425 --> 00:11:29,966
... wanted me like that ...
112
00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:32,217
... and just surrender to it.
113
00:11:33,425 --> 00:11:36,883
No, listen. I'm sorry.
114
00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:40,092
I had actually decided
I wasn't going to say anything.
115
00:11:40,217 --> 00:11:44,300
It's a little ... Yeah, I don't know.
116
00:11:44,425 --> 00:11:48,342
It's funny. I've never experienced
anything like that before.
117
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,800
But it was kind of ...
118
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,716
... sensational for me.
119
00:11:54,717 --> 00:11:57,133
I need to talk about it.
120
00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,133
And you're the only one
I can talk to about this.
121
00:12:00,258 --> 00:12:02,758
And my wife, of course.
122
00:12:02,883 --> 00:12:08,217
- You didn't tell her?
- Yes. As soon as I got home.
123
00:12:08,342 --> 00:12:13,591
- How did she take it?
- She was surprised. Astonished.
124
00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:18,925
But that goes for me as well. I was
bewildered, really. Physically as well.
125
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:25,217
We talked about it. She said
she didn't understand why I did it.
126
00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:28,966
But neither do I, so ...
127
00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:32,967
She wasn't upset? Or angry?
128
00:12:33,092 --> 00:12:37,507
No, she wanted to know
if this was the first time, which it was.
129
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:42,217
She knows that. If I'd done anything
like that before, I would've told her.
130
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:46,841
- What was she meant to say?
- What she was meant to say?
131
00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:50,216
You cheated. And with another man.
132
00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:53,466
She could have kicked you out.
133
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:57,674
Cheated? It was just sex.
I wouldn't consider that cheating.
134
00:12:57,675 --> 00:13:02,717
I don't consider having sex
with someone else cheating.
135
00:13:02,842 --> 00:13:04,133
- What's cheating, then?
136
00:13:04,258 --> 00:13:06,716
- Starting a relationship with
someone else.
137
00:13:06,717 --> 00:13:10,383
- Behind her back.
- This is a bit much.
138
00:13:10,508 --> 00:13:12,758
Surely you can hear yourself.
139
00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:18,050
You had sex with a man,
140
00:13:18,175 --> 00:13:23,216
and you describe it
as something that just happened.
141
00:13:23,217 --> 00:13:27,258
It can't be.
You must've thought about it before.
142
00:13:27,383 --> 00:13:31,549
You must've been attracted to men.
It's not something you just do.
143
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:36,549
Something you do?
I've never thought about it before, truly.
144
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:40,716
But I've also never been afraid of
or wary of homosexuality.
145
00:13:40,717 --> 00:13:44,757
I've just never been attracted to men.
146
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,217
I'm still not.
147
00:13:50,217 --> 00:13:53,133
- More coffee?
- No, thanks.
148
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,342
What?
149
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:15,717
I have to say I'm a bit shocked.
I thought I knew you.
150
00:14:15,842 --> 00:14:20,758
Well, you do.
I haven't changed just because I've ...
151
00:14:22,592 --> 00:14:25,257
I hope you don't see it that way.
152
00:14:25,258 --> 00:14:27,632
If so, I regret telling you.
153
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:32,466
No, we're friends.
You have to tell me what's going on.
154
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:34,633
I'm just ...
155
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:39,632
You're completely uninhibited, and I ...
156
00:14:39,633 --> 00:14:42,675
I was embarrassed to walk
next to my pregnant wife,
157
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,632
because people could tell we'd had sex.
158
00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:49,132
Do you really think
I'm completely uninhibited?
159
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:52,632
I've got my limits.
I wouldn't just do anything.
160
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:55,633
Do you think I'm completely uninhibited?
161
00:14:56,633 --> 00:15:00,133
I don't really think anything.
162
00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:04,674
- Have you got any more calls today?
- Yes, two.
163
00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:07,674
I need to leave early, I've got this ...
164
00:15:07,675 --> 00:15:10,258
That's another strange thing.
165
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:14,883
When I woke up from that dream,
there was something about my voice ...
166
00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:17,507
It sounds different.
Can you hear it?
167
00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:21,717
- You sound a bit raspy.
- No, it's more like ...
168
00:15:21,842 --> 00:15:24,925
It's in a different register.
169
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:28,716
- And when I sing ...
- When you sing? When do you sing?
170
00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:32,966
- Oh yeah, you're in that choir.
- That's it.
171
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:36,674
We have a concert coming up,
and I've got a solo.
172
00:15:36,675 --> 00:15:40,674
So I've got an appointment
with a voice coach.
173
00:15:40,675 --> 00:15:44,425
The conductor recommended her.
I just need to pick up Klaus first.
174
00:15:44,550 --> 00:15:47,924
Voice coach, then marching band practice.
175
00:15:47,925 --> 00:15:49,925
It's non-stop.
176
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,716
Pity we didn't get to
talk more about your dream.
177
00:15:52,717 --> 00:15:56,549
I don't know how much more
there is to say about it.
178
00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:58,383
- When's the concert?
- On Saturday.
179
00:15:58,508 --> 00:16:04,007
We're singing a ...
It's a weird thing, actually ...
180
00:16:04,008 --> 00:16:10,424
The conductor, she's ...I think she's ...
I think she's really good.
181
00:16:10,425 --> 00:16:16,716
But she wants us to sing
more experimental stuff.
182
00:16:16,717 --> 00:16:21,050
Okay? Is this something one can attend?
183
00:16:21,175 --> 00:16:25,258
Well, yeah, but I'm not sure
it's really your cup of tea.
184
00:16:25,383 --> 00:16:30,382
- Isn't that for me to decide?
- Sure, it's open to all.
185
00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:33,800
- Would you rather I didn't come?
- No ...
186
00:16:35,258 --> 00:16:39,592
Come if you want.
Now you're warned.
187
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,633
Well ...
188
00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:46,758
It's ... I was just thinking ... that ...
189
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:53,883
I'd prefer it if you didn't tell
anyone about that dream.
190
00:16:54,008 --> 00:16:56,757
I won't say anything.
191
00:16:56,758 --> 00:17:00,757
The same goes for what I told you.
192
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:04,132
I kind of assumed
you'd keep it to yourself.
193
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,133
Yes, of course.
194
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,799
- See you at the pool tomorrow.
- Half past eight?
195
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,300
Half past eight.
196
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:29,800
Hi!
197
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:34,799
- Did you work from home today?
- No, I came home after lunch.
198
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,507
I've been out in the garden.
199
00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:40,883
Are you ready for the garden centre?
I just need a shower.
200
00:17:41,008 --> 00:17:44,799
- Are the kids in?
- They'll be home soon.
201
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,133
The school called, by the way.
202
00:17:47,258 --> 00:17:54,175
It seems Hans Petter has been asking his
classmates how much their parents make.
203
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:59,257
They didn't like that, then?
204
00:17:59,258 --> 00:18:02,092
I reckon they've had complaints.
205
00:18:03,842 --> 00:18:05,842
But listen ...
206
00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:10,883
What you told me yesterday ...
207
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,342
I can't let it go.
208
00:18:16,342 --> 00:18:17,967
No ...
209
00:18:18,092 --> 00:18:22,925
I think it affected me more
than I realized.
210
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,717
It was the way you told me.
Like it was no big deal.
211
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,466
As if it was good news ...
212
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,466
Good news?
213
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,882
I guess I just ...
214
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:41,717
- I felt a bit bewildered.
- I didn't know how to react.
215
00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:45,883
But I've been thinking
about it all day, and ...
216
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:50,925
You've cheated, you know.
With a man.
217
00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:53,883
That doesn't make it okay.
218
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,383
It definitely doesn't feel okay.
219
00:18:58,508 --> 00:19:01,882
It washes over me in waves.
220
00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,882
One moment, I'm like, all right.
221
00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:06,883
But then ...
222
00:19:07,925 --> 00:19:10,882
... I just cry. I've been crying all day.
223
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,675
Hey ... Sweetheart.
224
00:19:13,842 --> 00:19:15,425
Sweetie.
225
00:19:17,925 --> 00:19:20,924
I didn't want it to be like this.
226
00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:22,717
Sweetheart.
227
00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:26,925
I understand why
you reacted the way you did.
228
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:32,925
I did something I've never done before.
229
00:19:34,717 --> 00:19:37,592
Without you knowing.
230
00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:42,425
It threw me too.
231
00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:46,008
- How do you mean?
- I'd never thought I ...
232
00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:51,925
But then I just did it.
233
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:55,967
I didn't think of it as cheating.
234
00:19:56,967 --> 00:20:01,550
- I still don't.
- What is cheating, then?
235
00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:07,175
I told you straight away.
236
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:11,633
So cheating is fine as long as
you tell your partner straight away?
237
00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:15,966
For me, cheating is ...
238
00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:21,508
- Cheating is hiding something.
- I've been thinking about this all day.
239
00:20:21,633 --> 00:20:24,008
I don't understand any of it.
240
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,717
How could you do it?
241
00:20:27,842 --> 00:20:29,966
I don't ...
242
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:34,967
- I don't know.
- And I'm thinking ... Are you gay?
243
00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:38,591
- No!
- Are you sure?
244
00:20:38,592 --> 00:20:42,008
I can't see any other explanation.
245
00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:46,800
Sweetheart.
246
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,425
Having one beer
doesn't make me an alcoholic.
247
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,550
That's not how it works.
248
00:20:55,925 --> 00:20:57,967
And I'm also wondering ...
249
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:03,757
Do you still love me?
Do you want to be with me?
250
00:21:03,758 --> 00:21:06,007
Yes!
251
00:21:06,008 --> 00:21:08,925
Of course I do!
252
00:21:10,883 --> 00:21:13,967
It's got nothing to do with that.
253
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:18,758
I'm ... I love you.
254
00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:23,632
There's no one else I love like you.
255
00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:26,050
I've never loved anyone this way.
256
00:21:27,008 --> 00:21:31,258
- I've never been this happy with anyone.
- So why have sex with someone else?
257
00:21:31,383 --> 00:21:34,049
And a man, as well. It's completely ...
258
00:21:34,050 --> 00:21:37,049
I don't understand anything.
259
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:39,633
How could you just do that?
260
00:21:43,050 --> 00:21:48,383
It might sound strange
to you, but for me ...
261
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:53,592
They're completely unrelated.
It doesn't mean I care about you any less.
262
00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,050
And I didn't think ...
263
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:01,091
Our love can't ...
264
00:22:01,092 --> 00:22:06,925
... be reduced to just
not having sex with others. Can it?
265
00:22:07,925 --> 00:22:10,550
Or maybe that's how it is?
266
00:22:10,675 --> 00:22:15,091
When I say it out loud,
I realize that maybe it is, but ...
267
00:22:15,092 --> 00:22:17,091
I've looked at it all wrong.
268
00:22:17,092 --> 00:22:21,508
But I don't understand
what made you do it.
269
00:22:24,592 --> 00:22:29,425
I guess I was ... I was turned on.
270
00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:32,633
- I was aroused ...
- You wanted him?
271
00:22:32,758 --> 00:22:34,092
Yes.
272
00:22:39,050 --> 00:22:45,133
Yes, I guess I picked up on it
while we were chatting.
273
00:22:46,133 --> 00:22:50,633
I could feel him looking at me.
274
00:22:51,342 --> 00:22:54,967
At ... at my body.
275
00:22:56,383 --> 00:23:01,425
And then he just asked me, point blank,
if I wanted to have sex with him.
276
00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:07,842
I said no, but when I was outside
and had a chance to think, I ...
277
00:23:07,967 --> 00:23:11,924
I realized I was actually
really turned on.
278
00:23:11,925 --> 00:23:14,467
And then ... Yeah.
279
00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:19,300
So ...
280
00:23:19,425 --> 00:23:21,133
No, this is ...
281
00:23:23,133 --> 00:23:27,592
I can't make sense of this.
282
00:23:27,717 --> 00:23:33,383
You're saying it wasn't cheating, it was
just sex, it had nothing to do with us.
283
00:23:33,508 --> 00:23:36,383
Would you have felt the same
if it was a woman?
284
00:23:36,508 --> 00:23:39,049
I don't know, really.
285
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,842
No, I don't think so.
286
00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:44,632
I'm sure I wouldn't.
287
00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:49,550
But this was just
something completely different.
288
00:23:50,592 --> 00:23:53,674
The fact that he looked at me ...
289
00:23:53,675 --> 00:23:58,091
... as someone who might
want to have sex with him ...
290
00:23:58,092 --> 00:24:01,550
- That ...
- You were flattered?
291
00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:06,092
Did you enjoy it?
292
00:24:08,342 --> 00:24:10,632
I guess ...
293
00:24:10,633 --> 00:24:14,049
Yes, it felt good.
294
00:24:14,050 --> 00:24:16,550
Yes, it did.
295
00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:20,425
And you didn't think about me?
296
00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:23,924
No, I didn't, to be completely honest.
297
00:24:23,925 --> 00:24:28,883
But you can't just have sex
with everyone you fancy.
298
00:24:29,008 --> 00:24:31,758
I mean, you can, but ...
299
00:24:31,883 --> 00:24:34,967
But ...
300
00:24:35,092 --> 00:24:37,550
But I don't.
301
00:24:38,675 --> 00:24:41,383
I've never done this before.
302
00:24:41,508 --> 00:24:43,800
You know that.
303
00:24:43,925 --> 00:24:46,757
This is completely insane.
304
00:24:46,758 --> 00:24:49,257
- Where are you going?
- I don't know.
305
00:24:49,258 --> 00:24:52,424
I'm going to do some more work.
306
00:24:52,425 --> 00:24:54,633
You should take that shower.
307
00:27:33,133 --> 00:27:35,591
Dad?
308
00:27:35,592 --> 00:27:39,799
I've been thinking about
starting my own YouTube channel.
309
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,175
What do you think about that?
310
00:27:44,008 --> 00:27:46,050
Nothing as of yet.
311
00:27:47,425 --> 00:27:51,882
- Why do you want to do that?
- I feel like my grades aren't good enough.
312
00:27:51,883 --> 00:27:54,882
Stop it.
You're getting B's across the board.
313
00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:57,924
Yeah, but I'm not getting any A's.
314
00:27:57,925 --> 00:28:01,382
I'm nowhere near the top of the class.
315
00:28:01,383 --> 00:28:03,925
I'm mediocre.
316
00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:07,174
- Alice has a YouTube channel.
- Put away your phone.
317
00:28:07,175 --> 00:28:09,174
You're not mediocre.
318
00:28:09,175 --> 00:28:13,800
- Does Alice have a YouTube channel?
- Yes.
319
00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:17,257
- Why does she have that?
- I don't know ...
320
00:28:17,258 --> 00:28:21,050
I guess she's figured out
there's money to be made.
321
00:28:21,175 --> 00:28:24,299
But is she making money?
322
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:30,342
No, not yet.
But she has a lot of viewers.
323
00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:34,758
She says lots of brands have asked
her to talk about their products.
324
00:28:34,883 --> 00:28:37,550
"A lot of", not "lots of".
325
00:28:37,675 --> 00:28:41,507
- What does she talk about?
- All kinds of things.
326
00:28:41,508 --> 00:28:44,549
She talks about
what she likes and dislikes.
327
00:28:44,550 --> 00:28:48,092
She talks about
her mental health problems.
328
00:28:49,342 --> 00:28:53,049
If she buys a new eyeliner,
she makes a video about it.
329
00:28:53,050 --> 00:28:57,257
But she also talks about
things we've done in class.
330
00:28:57,258 --> 00:29:02,342
She'll repeat normal,
funny stuff someone said.
331
00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:08,924
She doesn't come up with much of it
herself. Almost nothing, actually.
332
00:29:08,925 --> 00:29:13,508
But when she repeats something
I said on her YouTube videos,
333
00:29:13,633 --> 00:29:16,217
it becomes more ...
334
00:29:16,342 --> 00:29:20,592
Not more important, exactly,
but ... it becomes something.
335
00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:23,216
You know?
336
00:29:23,217 --> 00:29:25,342
Yeah. I guess ...
337
00:29:26,217 --> 00:29:29,507
Anyway. I think her skin
has improved as well.
338
00:29:29,508 --> 00:29:32,508
As a result of her YouTube channel?
339
00:29:37,092 --> 00:29:42,175
- Is that why you want to start one?
- No. My skin isn't that bad, is it?
340
00:29:43,467 --> 00:29:47,632
But I need to make a living.
What else can I do?
341
00:29:47,633 --> 00:29:52,382
Without good grades,
I won't get a good job. Or a pension.
342
00:29:52,383 --> 00:29:54,550
- Pension?
- Yeah.
343
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,216
- Why are you talking about your pension?
- Someone talked about it in class.
344
00:30:00,217 --> 00:30:04,633
Jesus, you're thirteen!
You can't be talking about your pension!
345
00:30:04,758 --> 00:30:09,092
- What should we talk about, then?
- That's not what matters.
346
00:30:17,467 --> 00:30:23,008
Pension, comparing yourself to others ...
None of that matters.
347
00:30:23,133 --> 00:30:25,508
You've got great grades.
348
00:30:26,508 --> 00:30:31,008
Compared to who?
I think about it all the time.
349
00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:34,175
I'm ... I'm not good enough.
350
00:30:35,175 --> 00:30:37,592
Yes. You are.
351
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:43,674
You can't be so hard on yourself.
Where has this come from?
352
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:47,132
I guess we're to blame
for how you've turned out.
353
00:30:47,133 --> 00:30:51,674
- It's not your fault.
- Yes. All the bad stuff is our fault.
354
00:30:51,675 --> 00:30:57,592
- Now you're being hard on yourself.
- You saying that is also our fault.
355
00:31:02,342 --> 00:31:06,258
- So no YouTube channel.
- No, that's ...
356
00:31:08,425 --> 00:31:11,300
- I think ...
- All right.
357
00:31:13,633 --> 00:31:16,632
- Are you still working?
- Yes.
358
00:31:16,633 --> 00:31:18,633
Am I interrupting?
359
00:31:22,133 --> 00:31:26,800
When you said that you're in more pain
than you've ever been in ...
360
00:31:28,633 --> 00:31:31,508
That just kills me.
361
00:31:34,592 --> 00:31:36,633
I didn't want it to be like this.
362
00:31:38,592 --> 00:31:40,092
I'm sorry.
363
00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:45,008
Is there anything I can do?
364
00:31:45,133 --> 00:31:46,675
I don't know ...
365
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:50,675
Why are you wearing jogging bottoms?
We're going to the garden centre.
366
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,675
I'll change before we leave.
367
00:31:57,050 --> 00:32:00,300
- Hey ...
- I don't know.
368
00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:04,550
I think what hurts the most is that ...
369
00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:08,592
I don't know you ...
370
00:32:09,675 --> 00:32:11,425
... anymore.
371
00:32:11,550 --> 00:32:15,674
I don't know who you are.
I can't trust you.
372
00:32:15,675 --> 00:32:18,632
Maybe that's not a big deal, but ...
373
00:32:18,633 --> 00:32:21,674
What if you want to do this again?
374
00:32:21,675 --> 00:32:24,258
I won't. I told you.
375
00:32:24,383 --> 00:32:27,133
How can you say that? You just did it.
376
00:32:27,258 --> 00:32:30,716
And you said you liked it.
How can I trust you?
377
00:32:30,717 --> 00:32:33,550
Because I'm telling you.
378
00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:36,757
- I promise.
- You can't make that promise.
379
00:32:36,758 --> 00:32:41,550
Sexual urges aren't
that easily controlled.
380
00:32:41,675 --> 00:32:46,217
Okay? Wait ... Why not?
381
00:32:46,342 --> 00:32:48,967
That's just the way it is.
382
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,717
Is it? Okay.
383
00:32:54,008 --> 00:32:59,049
- You're just full of cliches.
- Oh really?
384
00:32:59,050 --> 00:33:01,467
That's just nonsense.
385
00:33:01,592 --> 00:33:03,508
You know that.
386
00:33:07,508 --> 00:33:11,092
Of course you can control
your sexual urges.
387
00:33:12,592 --> 00:33:17,382
And we've been ... Think about it,
we've been together for twenty years.
388
00:33:17,383 --> 00:33:21,758
I've been trustworthy the whole time.
Why can't you believe me now?
389
00:33:21,883 --> 00:33:23,757
I just ...
390
00:33:23,758 --> 00:33:27,467
I'm not even sure
I want you to promise me.
391
00:33:27,592 --> 00:33:32,757
Definitely not if it's
just because you think I can't handle it.
392
00:33:32,758 --> 00:33:37,674
I want you to be free
to do whatever you want.
393
00:33:37,675 --> 00:33:42,757
That's what love is. Loving someone
unconditionally, setting them free.
394
00:33:42,758 --> 00:33:45,549
"If you love somebody, set them free."
395
00:33:45,550 --> 00:33:51,007
I'm not doing that if I make you
promise me something against your will.
396
00:33:51,008 --> 00:33:55,175
But I want to do it.
I want to do it because I love you.
397
00:33:56,425 --> 00:34:00,758
Because I don't want you
to feel insecure and sad. What?
398
00:34:03,133 --> 00:34:07,799
I wanted you to say that you
wouldn't do it because you didn't want to.
399
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:13,049
That would have been better
than you doing it because ...
400
00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:18,133
... it makes me feel insecure and sad.
401
00:34:18,258 --> 00:34:21,925
That just makes me feel fragile.
402
00:34:22,050 --> 00:34:27,132
What you're really saying
is that you might do it again,
403
00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:29,800
if I wasn't so weak.
404
00:34:30,967 --> 00:34:33,467
What are you thinking?
405
00:34:33,592 --> 00:34:37,049
- It was just sex.
- Just sex?
406
00:34:37,050 --> 00:34:39,342
It's not "just sex" for me.
407
00:34:40,467 --> 00:34:44,675
It's the most intimate thing we do.
It's what we share.
408
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,507
It's what you and I share.
409
00:34:47,508 --> 00:34:51,633
We're never as close as when we have sex.
410
00:34:56,008 --> 00:34:57,925
Don't you agree?
411
00:34:58,050 --> 00:35:01,383
- Why are you so quiet?
- Because ...
412
00:35:01,508 --> 00:35:07,841
If you're not even nodding, it feels like
you disagree or you're hiding something.
413
00:35:07,842 --> 00:35:14,092
I'm sorry. But to me, intimacy is ...
this, what we share between us.
414
00:35:15,592 --> 00:35:20,717
This is what's intimate to me. Not sex.
415
00:35:20,842 --> 00:35:25,550
Well, sex is also intimate,
but that's just physical.
416
00:35:25,675 --> 00:35:29,967
That's still there.
That's not disappeared just because ...
417
00:35:30,092 --> 00:35:33,133
But ... Sorry, you weren't finished.
418
00:35:33,258 --> 00:35:36,549
Just because I did that with him.
419
00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:39,425
But that's precisely the point.
420
00:35:39,550 --> 00:35:42,550
Now you've shared that with someone else.
421
00:35:46,842 --> 00:35:49,675
Take your face when you're coming.
422
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:55,924
You look so vulnerable,
and it's the closest I ever feel to you.
423
00:35:55,925 --> 00:35:58,717
I want to be the only one who sees that.
424
00:35:58,842 --> 00:36:02,758
I just ... I don't think I've ever ...
425
00:36:02,883 --> 00:36:06,800
Maybe there's a vulnerability there,
but it's not ...
426
00:36:06,925 --> 00:36:11,383
You want to own that facial expression?
427
00:36:11,508 --> 00:36:17,799
It sounds horrible
when you say it like that.
428
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:23,008
I just want to be the only one who ...
There's nothing strange about that.
429
00:36:23,133 --> 00:36:29,674
No, but ... When I go to
the chiropractor or the barber,
430
00:36:29,675 --> 00:36:32,466
that's also someone else touching me.
431
00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:34,507
But you can't compare those.
432
00:36:34,508 --> 00:36:37,383
You can't compare sex
and physical treatment.
433
00:36:37,508 --> 00:36:41,967
Both involve someone else touching me,
causing reactions and facial expressions.
434
00:36:42,092 --> 00:36:46,383
That's not the same.
You know what I mean.
435
00:36:48,592 --> 00:36:52,633
What about me?
What about my face when I come?
436
00:36:52,758 --> 00:36:55,675
- Do you want someone else to see that?
- I guess not ...
437
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,632
I don't think
I've thought about it that way.
438
00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:04,300
We're so close when you come,
so I don't really know what you look like.
439
00:37:05,967 --> 00:37:08,633
That's because you close your eyes.
440
00:37:10,217 --> 00:37:11,758
Do I?
441
00:37:11,883 --> 00:37:14,258
Maybe I do.
442
00:37:14,967 --> 00:37:20,425
I feel you in my body, of course,
but your face ... I don't know.
443
00:37:20,550 --> 00:37:23,342
You must have seen it.
444
00:37:24,425 --> 00:37:27,800
I can't think straight right now.
445
00:37:29,550 --> 00:37:32,800
- Did you see his facial expression?
- No.
446
00:37:34,175 --> 00:37:38,508
But you ... felt him in your body?
447
00:37:38,633 --> 00:37:43,550
I have to ask. I don't know how
men have sex with each other.
448
00:37:44,508 --> 00:37:48,008
- Like, what did you do?
- What we did?
449
00:37:49,508 --> 00:37:52,007
No, I mean ...
450
00:37:52,008 --> 00:37:54,883
I don't know if I want to talk about it.
451
00:37:55,675 --> 00:38:01,967
Why not? You don't usually
mind talking about sex.
452
00:38:03,467 --> 00:38:06,049
No.
453
00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:10,050
He started ...
454
00:38:15,092 --> 00:38:17,050
He started ...
455
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:20,716
... by touching me.
456
00:38:20,717 --> 00:38:22,508
My groin.
457
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:27,258
Outside my trousers. And then ...
458
00:38:31,050 --> 00:38:33,842
Did you touch him back?
459
00:38:33,967 --> 00:38:35,758
What else?
460
00:38:38,342 --> 00:38:40,050
Then, he ...
461
00:38:41,842 --> 00:38:46,508
Then he undid my fly and ...
462
00:38:50,217 --> 00:38:53,133
This is unnecessary.
You can imagine what happened.
463
00:38:53,258 --> 00:38:57,258
No, I can't. I want you to tell me.
464
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,091
All right. Well, he ...
465
00:39:01,092 --> 00:39:05,592
He started ... touching me, on my ...
466
00:39:07,508 --> 00:39:11,092
Did you undo his fly as well?
467
00:39:13,217 --> 00:39:15,550
Did you kiss him?
468
00:39:18,092 --> 00:39:22,258
- Yeah, I had to.
- You had to?
469
00:39:23,258 --> 00:39:25,883
Well, I did.
470
00:39:29,508 --> 00:39:32,549
And then ...
471
00:39:32,550 --> 00:39:36,966
Did you just stand there
and touch each other?
472
00:39:36,967 --> 00:39:41,217
Did you do anything else?
Please answer me.
473
00:39:41,342 --> 00:39:43,508
Please.
474
00:39:46,383 --> 00:39:51,133
We stood like that for a bit, and then ...
475
00:39:53,133 --> 00:39:56,758
- And then, I guess he took me from behind.
- You "guess"?
476
00:39:58,467 --> 00:40:01,842
He fucked you in the ass?
477
00:40:04,217 --> 00:40:06,883
Did you have anal sex?
478
00:40:08,967 --> 00:40:10,508
Yes.
479
00:40:16,592 --> 00:40:18,508
Yeah, I ...
480
00:40:21,175 --> 00:40:22,842
Was he ...
481
00:40:22,967 --> 00:40:25,758
Or, what did he look like?
482
00:40:36,175 --> 00:40:39,757
He was a bit older than me.
483
00:40:39,758 --> 00:40:41,467
Taller.
484
00:40:44,758 --> 00:40:46,299
His hair was thinning.
485
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:48,383
Fat? Skinny?
486
00:40:49,592 --> 00:40:52,799
A bit stockier than me.
487
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:57,592
- Was he handsome?
- Handsome? No ...
488
00:41:00,175 --> 00:41:03,092
Quite charming, I guess.
489
00:41:03,217 --> 00:41:07,217
- He was very friendly.
- Friendly?
490
00:41:14,467 --> 00:41:16,758
Wasn't it painful?
491
00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:22,217
Yes, a bit, maybe. At first.
492
00:41:25,217 --> 00:41:27,508
And then it felt good?
493
00:41:30,217 --> 00:41:32,258
Did he come?
494
00:41:33,467 --> 00:41:36,217
And you, did you come too?
495
00:41:37,383 --> 00:41:38,842
But...
496
00:41:39,592 --> 00:41:43,299
It's... What was it like ...
497
00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:48,132
Was your ass sore afterwards?
498
00:41:48,133 --> 00:41:52,507
Yeah, I guess. A bit.
499
00:41:52,508 --> 00:41:54,799
A bit?
500
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,175
I don't want to talk about this.
501
00:41:59,592 --> 00:42:04,257
Surely you can tell me
whether your ass was sore after?
502
00:42:04,258 --> 00:42:07,382
Yes, it was a bit sore.
503
00:42:07,383 --> 00:42:10,299
- Hello!
- Hi!
504
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:13,092
I'm done talking about this.
505
00:42:13,217 --> 00:42:16,258
It was just completely different. Okay?
506
00:42:17,467 --> 00:42:19,883
I'm not going to do it again.
507
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:25,925
What's up?
508
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:34,216
I can explain.
509
00:42:34,217 --> 00:42:38,799
My son here is in a marching band
and I sing in a choir.
510
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:43,841
Several of the people in the choir
have children in the marching band.
511
00:42:43,842 --> 00:42:47,092
Because the choir conductor
also conducts the marching band.
512
00:42:47,217 --> 00:42:50,882
She's recruited us,
and she's very ambitious.
513
00:42:50,883 --> 00:42:57,342
Now we're having a joint concert,
and I'm singing a solo.
514
00:42:58,675 --> 00:43:02,342
And that ...
I don't have much of a voice ...
515
00:43:02,467 --> 00:43:05,757
What kind of choir is it? A church choir?
516
00:43:05,758 --> 00:43:09,383
It's just a normal choir.
517
00:43:11,383 --> 00:43:17,674
But over the last few days,
my voice has sounded so different.
518
00:43:17,675 --> 00:43:21,092
- Different?
- It just changed all of a sudden.
519
00:43:21,217 --> 00:43:23,675
- Changed how?
- Have you seen this before?
520
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:28,341
- How has it changed?
- It's become ... more ...
521
00:43:28,342 --> 00:43:31,716
It's drier, and higher, and further back.
522
00:43:31,717 --> 00:43:34,591
It's hard to explain.
It's just the past few days.
523
00:43:34,592 --> 00:43:36,966
Has something happened?
524
00:43:36,967 --> 00:43:41,382
Something that might have stressed you
out?
525
00:43:41,383 --> 00:43:46,591
I'm not a psychologist,
but it's not unheard of
526
00:43:46,592 --> 00:43:50,091
for people to have experiences
which deeply affect them.
527
00:43:50,092 --> 00:43:54,424
Not necessarily anything traumatic,
just something that ...
528
00:43:54,425 --> 00:43:59,424
Something stress-inducing,
which can affect the voice.
529
00:43:59,425 --> 00:44:04,382
Uh ... I don't know, really.
530
00:44:04,383 --> 00:44:09,675
I sing in the shower, and yesterday
my voice suddenly sounded so different.
531
00:44:10,425 --> 00:44:14,382
I feel like my speaking voice
has changed as well.
532
00:44:14,383 --> 00:44:19,592
Your speaking voice too?
Do you have a sore throat?
533
00:44:19,717 --> 00:44:22,507
No, it's not really that.
534
00:44:22,508 --> 00:44:28,300
You wouldn't know if I sound different,
since we've never met before.
535
00:44:28,425 --> 00:44:31,424
Does he sound different to you?
536
00:44:31,425 --> 00:44:35,300
Not really. Maybe a bit higher?
537
00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,424
Let's hear it, then.
538
00:44:39,425 --> 00:44:43,550
- If you ...
- What do you want me to sing?
539
00:44:44,842 --> 00:44:49,425
Anything. Sing whatever
you were singing in the shower.
540
00:44:53,425 --> 00:44:59,467
Ingerid Sletten from Sildejord
Had neither silks nor fur
541
00:45:00,467 --> 00:45:06,717
Just a little cap made of coloured wool
That her mother had given to her
542
00:45:06,842 --> 00:45:10,299
Great!
But when you were singing now ...
543
00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:15,507
It sounds like
you might have a tongue blockage.
544
00:45:15,508 --> 00:45:22,549
The tongue is a muscle,
and if it tenses up for whatever reason,
545
00:45:22,550 --> 00:45:27,466
it can become
an obstruction in the oral cavity.
546
00:45:27,467 --> 00:45:30,800
And that can affect
the sound of your voice.
547
00:45:32,258 --> 00:45:33,842
Let's see.
548
00:45:37,342 --> 00:45:40,507
Can you just stick your tongue out?
549
00:45:40,508 --> 00:45:44,507
- Like this?
- Is that as far as it goes?
550
00:45:44,508 --> 00:45:50,258
I'm going to stretch it
and see if the muscle relaxes.
551
00:46:02,342 --> 00:46:04,799
Does it hurt?
552
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,550
It's uncomfortable,
but I can feel it relaxing.
553
00:46:11,050 --> 00:46:16,633
If you can get rid of
whatever is causing that resistance,
554
00:46:16,758 --> 00:46:19,842
you will have greater control
of your voice.
555
00:46:19,967 --> 00:46:24,633
Okay.
But what's caused this? A tense tongue?
556
00:46:25,550 --> 00:46:30,550
It could be a number of things.
But it's most likely up here.
557
00:46:31,550 --> 00:46:32,925
And here.
558
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,300
And maybe here.
559
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,320
Have you heard about or read
anything by Hannah Arendt?
560
00:46:44,693 --> 00:46:45,493
No.
561
00:46:45,546 --> 00:46:48,160
She was a philosopher.
562
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:53,880
I just finished this book,
and I recommend it to everyone.
563
00:46:53,946 --> 00:46:57,130
She ... wrote a lot about freedom.
564
00:46:57,250 --> 00:47:00,680
What freedom is and how to attain it.
565
00:47:00,786 --> 00:47:04,933
And she draws a distinction
between the social and public spheres.
566
00:47:04,986 --> 00:47:08,960
In the social sphere,
we are preoccupied with
567
00:47:09,092 --> 00:47:12,216
identity and belonging to a group.
568
00:47:12,217 --> 00:47:16,217
We're concerned with fitting in
and being acknowledged.
569
00:47:16,342 --> 00:47:20,842
But Arendt thinks
humans are so much more.
570
00:47:20,967 --> 00:47:26,717
And that we shouldn't be reduced to
whatever is acceptable to a small group.
571
00:47:28,217 --> 00:47:32,342
She argued that everyone
is unique as individuals
572
00:47:32,467 --> 00:47:35,716
and that we need to be
part of a greater community
573
00:47:35,717 --> 00:47:38,799
which allows for
differences and disagreement,
574
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,966
where we can be
subjectively thinking individuals.
575
00:47:41,967 --> 00:47:46,799
And that is the public sphere.
576
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:52,632
So whereas the social sphere is fertile
soil for totalitarianism and fascism,
577
00:47:52,633 --> 00:47:59,425
the public sphere facilitates
the liberation of the individual.
578
00:48:03,467 --> 00:48:07,008
That's in brief,
and in my own words, but ...
579
00:48:09,092 --> 00:48:14,174
Is God a part of
the social or the public sphere?
580
00:48:14,175 --> 00:48:17,007
God? I don't know.
581
00:48:17,008 --> 00:48:19,425
I don't believe in God.
582
00:48:19,550 --> 00:48:22,092
Maybe both.
583
00:48:25,633 --> 00:48:31,674
But how does that relate
to the voice, do you think?
584
00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:33,674
I just ...
585
00:48:33,675 --> 00:48:37,507
There was just something about you
when you walked in.
586
00:48:37,508 --> 00:48:39,925
I'm sorry.
587
00:48:41,008 --> 00:48:44,341
Anyway, take the book.
I've already read it.
588
00:48:44,342 --> 00:48:47,300
Are you ready to give it another go?
589
00:48:50,175 --> 00:48:51,800
Yes.
590
00:48:51,925 --> 00:48:53,800
Stick your tongue out.
591
00:48:55,092 --> 00:48:56,967
That's it.
592
00:48:57,675 --> 00:49:00,592
Why did you lie to the singing teacher?
593
00:49:01,717 --> 00:49:06,049
You usually sing "Tell me the old, old
story Of unseen things above"
594
00:49:06,050 --> 00:49:10,549
- I guess I didn't remember it.
- But you sing it in the shower every day.
595
00:49:10,550 --> 00:49:15,717
Hey! We need a couple of strong men
to help us carry this fridge.
596
00:49:15,842 --> 00:49:18,467
Could you lend us a hand?
597
00:49:19,925 --> 00:49:23,300
Yeah, I reckon that's doable.
598
00:49:26,133 --> 00:49:27,633
I've got it.
599
00:49:33,008 --> 00:49:35,842
- Grab the other end.
- Hold on.
600
00:49:41,633 --> 00:49:43,217
Brilliant, lads.
601
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,758
Brilliant.
602
00:50:08,008 --> 00:50:12,550
Just put it here, and my husband
will do the rest when he comes home.
603
00:50:23,758 --> 00:50:27,050
Lucky for us that you walked by.
604
00:50:28,633 --> 00:50:30,133
Good stuff.
605
00:50:31,633 --> 00:50:35,383
- They didn't even say thank you.
- They didn't?
606
00:50:35,508 --> 00:50:38,800
They just said "great" and "brilliant".
607
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,800
- Is your hand all right?
- I think it got trapped.
608
00:50:43,967 --> 00:50:47,800
But you can move it?
At least it's not broken, then.
609
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,842
I can't think about gardening right now.
610
00:51:15,842 --> 00:51:19,258
If it was me
who had slept with someone else.
611
00:51:19,383 --> 00:51:21,507
How would you have reacted?
612
00:51:21,508 --> 00:51:23,674
- You did.
- No, I didn't.
613
00:51:23,675 --> 00:51:25,508
You did.
614
00:51:25,633 --> 00:51:29,841
When we first started going out,
you slept with your ex.
615
00:51:29,842 --> 00:51:34,841
That was just to make sure.
It didn't mean anything.
616
00:51:34,842 --> 00:51:38,967
You were really upset and frustrated.
617
00:51:39,092 --> 00:51:44,550
It was just weird that you had to sleep
with him to decide you wanted me.
618
00:51:44,675 --> 00:51:50,007
I didn't understand how that
could help you decide one way or another.
619
00:51:50,008 --> 00:51:52,883
What if the sex had been really good?
620
00:51:53,842 --> 00:51:56,092
Would you have chosen him?
621
00:51:59,883 --> 00:52:02,716
What was the reasoning?
622
00:52:02,717 --> 00:52:06,550
You can't choose your partner
based on how good the sex is.
623
00:52:06,675 --> 00:52:10,883
If so, relationships
would change from week to week.
624
00:52:11,717 --> 00:52:17,883
Before we met,
we had sex with lots of people.
625
00:52:18,883 --> 00:52:23,425
That didn't matter.
It was meaningless sex.
626
00:52:23,550 --> 00:52:27,383
You said that too. It was just sex.
627
00:52:29,008 --> 00:52:31,924
Now it suddenly means everything?
628
00:52:31,925 --> 00:52:37,924
I don't understand what's changed.
Suddenly it's the only thing that matters.
629
00:52:37,925 --> 00:52:40,050
It's because ...
630
00:52:41,550 --> 00:52:45,925
That was so long ago.
Everything is different now.
631
00:52:46,925 --> 00:52:50,382
I know that,
I'm just trying to understand ...
632
00:52:50,383 --> 00:52:53,924
Why is it impossible
to think like that now?
633
00:52:53,925 --> 00:52:57,383
What's changed? Is it our morals?
634
00:53:00,342 --> 00:53:02,050
What?
635
00:53:02,175 --> 00:53:06,050
- Answer me, please.
- I have to think.
636
00:53:06,175 --> 00:53:09,217
I don't know what to say.
637
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:14,217
But it's definitely not about morals.
638
00:53:15,383 --> 00:53:19,175
It's about the fact
that we decided to get married.
639
00:53:21,967 --> 00:53:25,591
Marriage isn't just about
restricting our sexuality.
640
00:53:25,592 --> 00:53:29,717
No, it's about being a couple.
641
00:53:30,633 --> 00:53:32,383
Of course.
642
00:53:34,383 --> 00:53:37,175
I don't know why I'm saying all this ...
643
00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:42,050
... all this nonsense.
644
00:55:18,008 --> 00:55:20,383
There you are!
645
00:55:24,467 --> 00:55:26,800
Doesn't that hurt?
646
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,092
It looks painful.
647
00:55:38,883 --> 00:55:41,757
What ... What is this?
648
00:55:41,758 --> 00:55:44,799
A dreamcatcher. A gift from Louise.
649
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,633
She bought them for everyone on holiday.
650
00:55:48,758 --> 00:55:51,424
Do you think it's ugly? I like it.
651
00:55:51,425 --> 00:55:55,633
- Who is Louise again?
- The girl who started before Christmas.
652
00:55:55,758 --> 00:55:59,467
She's been on sick leave.
She got sick almost immediately.
653
00:55:59,592 --> 00:56:04,549
Very sweet girl. I've told you about her.
654
00:56:04,550 --> 00:56:10,550
She looks a bit like Marit Bjørgen. And
her partner had gender-affirming surgery.
655
00:56:10,675 --> 00:56:13,133
Oh yeah ...
656
00:56:13,258 --> 00:56:17,175
Must be weird not recognizing
your own reflection in the mirror.
657
00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:21,132
It's about more than your reflection,
don't you think?
658
00:56:21,133 --> 00:56:25,175
It's not about the haircut or the face.
659
00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:29,258
It's about the inside. Or maybe the eyes.
660
00:56:29,383 --> 00:56:36,174
And you do whatever is necessary
to make the inside match the outside.
661
00:56:36,175 --> 00:56:41,467
At its core, it's about getting to
a place where you feel free.
662
00:56:43,217 --> 00:56:46,800
Isn't that why you're stretching
your tongue? To be free?
663
00:56:46,925 --> 00:56:52,757
- Free from what?
- Free from, free to. I don't know.
664
00:56:52,758 --> 00:56:58,174
I don't hear a difference in your voice,
but something is clearly bothering you.
665
00:56:58,175 --> 00:57:00,216
Sing something.
666
00:57:00,217 --> 00:57:06,217
- Tell me the old, old story
- Of unseen things above ... Yes?
667
00:57:06,342 --> 00:57:10,716
Tell me the old, old story
Of unseen things above
668
00:57:10,717 --> 00:57:14,717
Of Jesus and His glory
Of Jesus and His love
669
00:57:14,842 --> 00:57:18,925
Yeah, you sound completely fine.
670
00:57:19,925 --> 00:57:23,174
- Is there something else?
- Now you remember it.
671
00:57:23,175 --> 00:57:25,924
But you couldn't
in front of the voice coach.
672
00:57:25,925 --> 00:57:29,841
And you avoided telling her
it was a church choir.
673
00:57:29,842 --> 00:57:32,216
- Were you embarrassed?
- No!
674
00:57:32,217 --> 00:57:35,216
People are just so prejudiced.
675
00:57:35,217 --> 00:57:38,883
Maybe it was a bit cowardly.
It just didn't feel right.
676
00:57:39,008 --> 00:57:41,675
It's not always that easy.
677
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,508
I understand.
Don't think of it as cowardly.
678
00:57:46,592 --> 00:57:51,216
- How's your hand?
- I can't even grab the shampoo bottle.
679
00:57:51,217 --> 00:57:55,216
- Is it sprained?
- I hope not. I've got so much to do.
680
00:57:55,217 --> 00:57:57,508
Sewing and playing.
681
00:57:59,217 --> 00:58:02,717
I can't play the cornet like this.
682
00:58:05,217 --> 00:58:08,216
If it's not better tomorrow,
we'll go see the doctor.
683
00:58:08,217 --> 00:58:10,342
It has to be.
684
00:58:12,258 --> 00:58:14,467
Sleep tight. Good night.
685
00:58:23,925 --> 00:58:27,925
Hans Petter doesn't understand why
you can't ask people how much they make.
686
00:58:30,258 --> 00:58:32,257
What did you tell him?
687
00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:35,799
He doesn't understand
why it offends people.
688
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:42,257
But I think it was
quite uncomfortable for him in the end.
689
00:58:42,258 --> 00:58:46,424
He thought we were making a lot.
690
00:58:46,425 --> 00:58:51,507
But it turns out most of
the other parents make a lot more.
691
00:58:51,508 --> 00:58:54,300
Can you keep your pants on?
692
00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:23,467
Hey ...
It can't be like this.
693
00:59:27,342 --> 00:59:29,967
Can you please forgive me?
694
00:59:32,133 --> 00:59:33,925
Do you think you could?
695
00:59:35,050 --> 00:59:37,967
I'll never do it again. I promise.
696
00:59:38,092 --> 00:59:43,008
The libido is so strong,
I don't think you can control it.
697
00:59:43,133 --> 00:59:46,341
- If so, it could happen to you too.
- No.
698
00:59:46,342 --> 00:59:49,341
I don't want to have sex with anyone else.
699
00:59:49,342 --> 00:59:53,217
That's the difference between us.
I don't, but you do.
700
00:59:53,342 --> 00:59:56,008
No, I don't.
701
00:59:56,133 --> 00:59:59,424
I don't know what else I can say.
702
00:59:59,425 --> 01:00:02,675
Desire is ... something that just
comes over you, out of the blue.
703
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:07,717
I could suddenly want ... lots of things.
704
01:00:08,508 --> 01:00:13,382
But feeling desire
is not the same as acting on it.
705
01:00:13,383 --> 01:00:17,175
Acting on that desire is a choice.
706
01:00:20,008 --> 01:00:24,842
But I don't know if I can promise
to never desire anyone else.
707
01:00:24,967 --> 01:00:31,383
If you want to ... own both
my body and my thoughts.
708
01:00:33,633 --> 01:00:35,467
Do you know what?
709
01:00:37,592 --> 01:00:39,717
I want you to own it.
710
01:00:41,050 --> 01:00:43,425
If that makes you happy.
711
01:00:44,383 --> 01:00:46,383
I want you to be happy.
712
01:00:47,633 --> 01:00:51,717
- I want you to be happy too.
- But I'm happy when you're happy.
713
01:00:51,842 --> 01:00:54,924
But that ...
714
01:00:54,925 --> 01:00:56,883
That's not good.
715
01:01:05,175 --> 01:01:08,425
The worst part is ...
716
01:01:15,258 --> 01:01:22,175
The worst part is that
a part of me ... is jealous of you.
717
01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:26,508
I can admit that I've had thoughts ...
718
01:01:26,633 --> 01:01:30,133
I've wanted to do something like that too.
719
01:01:32,425 --> 01:01:34,425
But when you did that ...
720
01:01:35,592 --> 01:01:38,466
It was so damned ...
721
01:01:38,467 --> 01:01:42,050
It's so damned painful
being on the other side.
722
01:01:44,092 --> 01:01:49,132
In principle, I think
we should both have that freedom.
723
01:01:49,133 --> 01:01:52,924
But if that freedom is so painful ...
724
01:01:52,925 --> 01:01:55,175
Can I endure that?
725
01:01:56,467 --> 01:01:58,757
I don't know.
726
01:01:58,758 --> 01:02:02,007
I feel completely ...
727
01:02:02,008 --> 01:02:04,550
Completely lost.
728
01:02:06,425 --> 01:02:08,008
Hey.
729
01:02:10,925 --> 01:02:14,257
No, please don't. I can't.
730
01:02:14,258 --> 01:02:15,842
I'm sorry.
731
01:02:21,883 --> 01:02:26,508
- Do you want me to sleep somewhere else?
- Yes, maybe.
732
01:02:27,717 --> 01:02:30,507
No, you stay.
733
01:02:30,508 --> 01:02:33,467
I can't lie in this bed.
734
01:03:13,925 --> 01:03:15,550
What is it?
735
01:03:18,550 --> 01:03:21,466
My dreams ...
736
01:03:21,467 --> 01:03:24,549
They've been unsettling lately.
737
01:03:24,550 --> 01:03:27,008
What are they about?
738
01:03:28,675 --> 01:03:30,967
I'm dreaming that I ...
739
01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:35,132
Is the skin peeling on your back?
740
01:03:35,133 --> 01:03:37,507
- What?
- Yes!
741
01:03:37,508 --> 01:03:41,550
Your skin is really dry.
Is it dry elsewhere as well?
742
01:03:44,592 --> 01:03:46,592
Look at this!
743
01:03:47,592 --> 01:03:49,800
That's a bit unpleasant.
744
01:03:49,925 --> 01:03:52,842
- Maybe it's psoriasis or something.
- What?
745
01:03:52,967 --> 01:03:55,550
You should get it checked out.
746
01:03:56,592 --> 01:03:58,591
Hey!
747
01:03:58,592 --> 01:04:01,674
- Is something wrong?
- No.
748
01:04:01,675 --> 01:04:04,632
How's your hand?
749
01:04:04,633 --> 01:04:07,591
It's so painful I can't button my shirt.
750
01:04:07,592 --> 01:04:09,925
My goodness. Let me see.
751
01:04:15,592 --> 01:04:17,508
Is it swollen?
752
01:04:18,592 --> 01:04:20,632
A bit.
753
01:04:20,633 --> 01:04:23,050
It's not broken, at least.
754
01:04:26,175 --> 01:04:29,424
Can you take Klaus
to the doctor this afternoon?
755
01:04:29,425 --> 01:04:33,050
Then you can ask about
the skin thing while you're there.
756
01:04:44,092 --> 01:04:47,133
- This is my old shirt.
- Yes.
757
01:04:48,592 --> 01:04:55,132
I'm off to work.
Will you take the kids to school?
758
01:04:55,133 --> 01:04:58,174
How are you doing?
759
01:04:58,175 --> 01:05:00,674
I'm confused.
760
01:05:00,675 --> 01:05:03,424
- I need to talk to someone.
- You can talk to me.
761
01:05:03,425 --> 01:05:08,882
Someone else.
I'm meeting Hanne after work.
762
01:05:08,883 --> 01:05:10,467
I see.
763
01:05:11,675 --> 01:05:14,508
Are you going to tell her everything?
764
01:05:14,633 --> 01:05:16,924
Yes ...
765
01:05:16,925 --> 01:05:19,882
Are you uncomfortable with that?
766
01:05:19,883 --> 01:05:25,675
- It's just that it's about me.
- It's about me too.
767
01:05:28,092 --> 01:05:30,674
Where are you meeting her?
Are you having dinner?
768
01:05:30,675 --> 01:05:36,007
We're just getting coffee
at a café near work.
769
01:05:36,008 --> 01:05:40,424
I'll let you know
if we end up getting dinner.
770
01:05:40,425 --> 01:05:42,008
Bye.
771
01:05:55,092 --> 01:05:57,258
Hey.
772
01:05:58,717 --> 01:06:02,342
- Were you in a good mood that day?
- What do you mean?
773
01:06:02,467 --> 01:06:06,799
Yeah, I guess. Why do you ask?
774
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:10,716
Your back is straight
when you're in a good mood.
775
01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:15,674
Bursting with confidence.
That's very attractive.
776
01:06:15,675 --> 01:06:21,674
It's like you're open
to anyone or anything.
777
01:06:21,675 --> 01:06:24,800
My mum used to call it being easy.
778
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,883
I don't know.
779
01:07:05,717 --> 01:07:07,758
Why are you so stupid?
780
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:33,507
Me and my husband put it on.
781
01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:37,300
This is a fire trap in its current state.
782
01:07:37,425 --> 01:07:38,550
Really?
783
01:09:08,550 --> 01:09:12,257
- Shall I come up?
- Yes.
784
01:09:12,382 --> 01:09:14,674
I think you should.
785
01:09:14,675 --> 01:09:16,382
Okay.
786
01:09:34,925 --> 01:09:36,757
Hey.
787
01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:41,841
Are you alright?
788
01:09:41,842 --> 01:09:46,256
I'm sorry, I had a dizzy spell.
I started shaking.
789
01:09:46,257 --> 01:09:51,881
I see. Terje is on a job around the
corner. Why didn't you call him?
790
01:09:51,882 --> 01:09:56,300
He was going to the hardware store,
so I thought I'd rather call you.
791
01:09:57,092 --> 01:10:02,883
Okay. Do you want help getting down,
or should we just sit for a bit?
792
01:10:17,967 --> 01:10:23,300
People are so strange. These people
had covered the fireplace with wallpaper.
793
01:10:23,425 --> 01:10:28,050
- I've seen that before.
- I know, it just upset me.
794
01:10:30,883 --> 01:10:36,549
And all day I've been thinking about
what I told you yesterday.
795
01:10:36,550 --> 01:10:40,383
My wife and I
were talking all night last night.
796
01:10:40,508 --> 01:10:44,133
- I've hardly slept.
- I thought it might be that.
797
01:10:45,925 --> 01:10:48,008
It wasn't that easy after all?
798
01:10:54,842 --> 01:10:57,592
Maybe I shouldn't have told her.
799
01:10:59,633 --> 01:11:04,966
But that wouldn't have felt right.
Then it would feel like cheating.
800
01:11:04,967 --> 01:11:09,008
- Am I way off base?
- I don't know ...
801
01:11:11,717 --> 01:11:15,008
At least you know what you're feeling.
802
01:11:18,883 --> 01:11:22,132
Still, I can't quite believe
you thought it would be that easy.
803
01:11:22,133 --> 01:11:25,132
That was perhaps a tad naive.
804
01:11:25,133 --> 01:11:28,466
You tried to do the impossible.
805
01:11:28,467 --> 01:11:31,383
I haven't tried to do anything.
806
01:11:33,050 --> 01:11:37,049
I'm so worried
everything is ... unravelling.
807
01:11:37,050 --> 01:11:40,925
No, that's ... Well, maybe ...
808
01:11:42,050 --> 01:11:45,092
If it's any consolation,
you're not the only one.
809
01:11:47,383 --> 01:11:52,549
- Did you dream you were a woman again?
- Yes. Well, not that I was a woman, but...
810
01:11:52,550 --> 01:11:55,382
... that people look at me
as if I were a woman.
811
01:11:55,383 --> 01:12:01,800
- But it was the same dream?
- Yes. Or no. David Bowie was there.
812
01:12:03,967 --> 01:12:11,092
Or he showed up after a while.
We were at a party, on this sofa, and I...
813
01:12:12,550 --> 01:12:18,091
And you were there. All the lads were
there, just laughing and joking.
814
01:12:18,092 --> 01:12:21,799
Then Bowie walks in
with someone else.
815
01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:25,258
He spots me across the room
and comes over.
816
01:12:27,092 --> 01:12:33,383
He looks at me
as if he's really happy to see me.
817
01:12:34,175 --> 01:12:37,425
I stand up and give him a hug.
818
01:12:37,550 --> 01:12:43,466
And I can tell you all
are impressed that I know him.
819
01:12:43,467 --> 01:12:45,092
And ...
820
01:12:46,967 --> 01:12:54,133
He puts his hand out, and I take it,
and then we walk out into something ...
821
01:12:56,008 --> 01:12:59,633
... green ... and bright ...
822
01:13:03,008 --> 01:13:08,842
And as we're walking,
it feels like I'm growing taller.
823
01:13:08,967 --> 01:13:14,342
This sounds completely nuts,
but for me ...
824
01:13:15,342 --> 01:13:21,008
He put his hand on my back like this
and pushed me forwards.
825
01:13:22,133 --> 01:13:27,591
And I can feel something
in my body, a lightness.
826
01:13:27,592 --> 01:13:29,717
A possibility that ...
827
01:13:32,300 --> 01:13:37,425
- But when I wake up ...
- It's uncomfortable.
828
01:13:39,425 --> 01:13:42,174
It actually sounds really nice.
829
01:13:42,175 --> 01:13:46,175
They're all nice things.
830
01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:51,675
You're so open.
831
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:55,258
What's your opinion of me?
What do you think about me?
832
01:13:55,383 --> 01:13:57,674
My opinion of you?
833
01:13:57,675 --> 01:14:00,508
You're a really nice bloke.
834
01:14:03,508 --> 01:14:06,507
- Yeah?
- You're funny.
835
01:14:06,508 --> 01:14:11,299
You're a great superior.
Always very clear.
836
01:14:11,300 --> 01:14:13,592
Caring.
837
01:14:14,925 --> 01:14:18,175
And you're Christian.
Maybe that's part of it.
838
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:25,633
- Do I talk about that a lot?
- No, never, really.
839
01:14:27,133 --> 01:14:30,716
I don't think it affects
my opinion of you.
840
01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:33,425
But maybe it affects you.
841
01:14:35,342 --> 01:14:37,966
How's your wife doing?
842
01:14:37,967 --> 01:14:43,216
She's devastated. I can't blame her.
843
01:14:43,217 --> 01:14:45,342
I've hurt her in a way that ...
844
01:14:46,758 --> 01:14:50,216
She's going to talk to
one of her girlfriends about it today.
845
01:14:50,217 --> 01:14:52,883
I don't know.
846
01:14:53,008 --> 01:14:55,675
I understand why she needs it, but ...
847
01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:58,467
It still feels like a betrayal.
848
01:14:58,592 --> 01:15:03,466
- But you've talked to me about it.
- I don't know what her version is like.
849
01:15:03,467 --> 01:15:05,716
How it'll make me look.
850
01:15:05,717 --> 01:15:07,757
She could say ...
851
01:15:07,758 --> 01:15:09,966
I don't think that's fair.
852
01:15:09,967 --> 01:15:16,008
You have to trust that she talks
about you the way you talk about her.
853
01:15:16,133 --> 01:15:23,383
I can see why she needs to discuss it
with someone, get another perspective.
854
01:15:23,508 --> 01:15:27,008
What's her friend like?
855
01:15:27,133 --> 01:15:31,257
My wife says your life is shaped
by those you speak to.
856
01:15:31,258 --> 01:15:36,299
So you have to talk to people who make
the world bigger, not smaller.
857
01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,132
I don't know ...
858
01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:42,300
Her name is Hanne. I guess she's ...
859
01:15:43,758 --> 01:15:47,217
... someone who makes the world smaller.
860
01:18:59,550 --> 01:19:05,674
- How was school today?
- Alice got her period.
861
01:19:05,675 --> 01:19:09,507
She had really bad cramps.
862
01:19:09,508 --> 01:19:13,507
She's making a YouTube video about it.
863
01:19:13,508 --> 01:19:15,133
Oh.
864
01:19:16,508 --> 01:19:20,967
- Does she talk to you about it?
- That's not so strange, is it?
865
01:19:21,717 --> 01:19:24,632
She says I give her the best feedback.
866
01:19:24,633 --> 01:19:28,257
But when it comes to
her period, I don't ...
867
01:19:28,258 --> 01:19:32,632
I asked her to describe the pain,
and she said she was nauseous
868
01:19:32,633 --> 01:19:35,507
and that it felt like she'd eaten metal.
869
01:19:35,508 --> 01:19:40,342
And that she had cramping
all the way down her legs.
870
01:19:43,383 --> 01:19:48,549
And she has to deal with that
her whole life. That seems unfair.
871
01:19:48,550 --> 01:19:52,425
Not her whole life. It stops at a point.
872
01:19:52,550 --> 01:19:56,842
- Mum still gets her period?
- Yes.
873
01:19:56,967 --> 01:20:00,217
But in a couple of years,
she'll go through menopause.
874
01:20:00,342 --> 01:20:02,592
And then ...
875
01:20:02,717 --> 01:20:04,675
... that part ...
876
01:20:06,092 --> 01:20:08,591
... will be over.
877
01:20:08,592 --> 01:20:13,299
How did you respond?
What did you say?
878
01:20:13,300 --> 01:20:15,591
I told her ...
879
01:20:15,592 --> 01:20:18,674
What you tell me
when I think about death.
880
01:20:18,675 --> 01:20:23,133
One day we'll all die,
but on all the others we will not.
881
01:20:23,258 --> 01:20:28,800
- You told her that?
- I told her she should think that way.
882
01:20:28,925 --> 01:20:33,592
Some days you're on your period,
but every other day, you're not.
883
01:20:34,592 --> 01:20:36,591
Klaus Melbye?
884
01:20:36,592 --> 01:20:38,591
Yes.
885
01:20:38,592 --> 01:20:40,507
I'll bandage it.
886
01:20:40,508 --> 01:20:44,591
And it might be a good idea
to take some pain killers.
887
01:20:44,592 --> 01:20:47,799
- Like ibuprofen?
- Or Voltarol.
888
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:51,132
Do you usually take ibuprofen?
889
01:20:51,133 --> 01:20:53,591
He doesn't take anything.
890
01:20:53,592 --> 01:20:56,382
A girl in my class takes it.
She says it works.
891
01:20:56,383 --> 01:20:59,591
- Oh yeah?
- For the period pains, you mean?
892
01:20:59,592 --> 01:21:04,591
Yeah. Can you do anything
to relieve really bad period pains?
893
01:21:04,592 --> 01:21:07,632
Does your friend have that?
894
01:21:07,633 --> 01:21:09,842
- Really bad.
- I see.
895
01:21:09,967 --> 01:21:13,841
If they're really bad,
she should see a doctor.
896
01:21:13,842 --> 01:21:18,841
Since it signals fertility, some cultures
regard period pains as holy.
897
01:21:18,842 --> 01:21:21,883
They think our fertility
makes women goddesses.
898
01:21:22,008 --> 01:21:26,632
So the period and the pain
becomes a celebration of that.
899
01:21:26,633 --> 01:21:30,549
The pain is to be endured bravely.
900
01:21:30,550 --> 01:21:32,632
It will strengthen you as a goddess.
901
01:21:32,633 --> 01:21:37,592
It's quite powerful and optimistic.
Can you tell your friend that?
902
01:21:38,383 --> 01:21:41,966
- If your mum heard that ...
- Would she disagree?
903
01:21:41,967 --> 01:21:45,841
I don't think she subscribes
to the goddess stuff.
904
01:21:45,842 --> 01:21:47,466
She's Christian.
905
01:21:47,467 --> 01:21:50,049
I think it's more that
906
01:21:50,050 --> 01:21:54,341
her periods are tough,
and that she doesn't feel like a goddess.
907
01:21:54,342 --> 01:21:58,550
I don't personally subscribe
to the goddess theory myself.
908
01:21:58,675 --> 01:22:02,674
But I can see their point,
because giving birth is a special thing.
909
01:22:02,675 --> 01:22:04,757
To have your body become
910
01:22:04,758 --> 01:22:08,674
the arena for the drama that is
childbirth,
911
01:22:08,675 --> 01:22:10,757
that's indescribable.
912
01:22:10,758 --> 01:22:14,007
The body becomes a battlefield, of sorts.
913
01:22:14,008 --> 01:22:17,632
There are limits,
but we want to be conquered.
914
01:22:17,633 --> 01:22:20,050
It's a unique feeling of being nature.
915
01:22:20,175 --> 01:22:24,674
And having sex
during the last trimester is ...
916
01:22:24,675 --> 01:22:30,300
That's very special. That your body
can accommodate three people.
917
01:22:31,342 --> 01:22:33,716
That is ... Oh, well.
918
01:22:33,717 --> 01:22:38,925
That's what our periods promise.
So I have to say I miss it a little.
919
01:22:39,717 --> 01:22:45,592
Right. I'll write you
a prescription for Voltarol.
920
01:22:45,717 --> 01:22:47,300
Great.
921
01:22:48,425 --> 01:22:51,591
Aren't you going to ask about your back?
922
01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:53,466
No, that's ...
923
01:22:53,467 --> 01:22:57,716
Is there something with your back?
I've got time.
924
01:22:57,717 --> 01:23:01,091
I suddenly got this annoying ...
925
01:23:01,092 --> 01:23:04,049
Swap seats, and I'll look at it.
926
01:23:04,050 --> 01:23:07,716
I've had some skin changes.
927
01:23:07,717 --> 01:23:09,717
Let's see here.
928
01:23:11,258 --> 01:23:13,758
I just have to lift this up.
929
01:23:14,758 --> 01:23:16,966
You've got dry skin.
930
01:23:16,967 --> 01:23:21,967
You're shedding the outer skin,
and underneath it's all healthy skin.
931
01:23:22,092 --> 01:23:27,467
Nothing red or sore.
No signs of eczema or psoriasis.
932
01:23:27,592 --> 01:23:32,425
Isn't it a bit odd?
I haven't been out in the sun or anything.
933
01:23:33,425 --> 01:23:40,258
Just use moisturizer and a high
SPF cream if you're working outdoors.
934
01:23:40,383 --> 01:23:44,092
And I'd hold off on getting
a tattoo for the moment.
935
01:23:44,217 --> 01:23:46,757
That's not an issue.
936
01:23:46,758 --> 01:23:49,757
- I'd like one.
- Would you?
937
01:23:49,758 --> 01:23:53,007
- I think that's nonsense.
- Why?
938
01:23:53,008 --> 01:23:57,799
People should do what they want,
but I think the skin is fine as it is.
939
01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:01,425
People get tattoos
because it makes them feel special,
940
01:24:01,550 --> 01:24:06,424
but no matter how special the tattoo is,
it covers up something truly unique.
941
01:24:06,425 --> 01:24:12,258
All the marks and irregularities
which make our skin completely unique.
942
01:24:12,383 --> 01:24:14,508
I'm not a fan.
943
01:24:14,633 --> 01:24:18,841
We have a teacher who's got a tattoo
which says, "I love my family".
944
01:24:18,842 --> 01:24:22,842
Sounds like serious phantom pains
disguised as empathy.
945
01:24:24,800 --> 01:24:31,967
Can I tell you about a patient I had once?
Or two patients. It was a couple.
946
01:24:33,383 --> 01:24:35,842
Architects, both of them.
947
01:24:41,508 --> 01:24:44,507
They met and fell in love
studying architecture.
948
01:24:44,508 --> 01:24:48,550
After graduating,
they bought a flat and moved in together.
949
01:24:48,675 --> 01:24:51,882
I considered their relationship
to be rock solid.
950
01:24:51,883 --> 01:24:56,675
They had similar tastes,
they dressed and spoke the same way.
951
01:24:58,300 --> 01:25:01,591
Even after several years,
they were still in love,
952
01:25:01,592 --> 01:25:07,008
and like all couples, they liked different
things about each other's bodies.
953
01:25:07,133 --> 01:25:10,924
One had a beautiful line
going from his shoulder
954
01:25:10,925 --> 01:25:16,508
which never failed
to arouse his boyfriend.
955
01:25:16,633 --> 01:25:20,882
There was a mole
on the back of his shoulder
956
01:25:20,883 --> 01:25:23,883
which made him weak in the knees.
957
01:25:28,467 --> 01:25:33,967
And for his birthday, what do you get your
architect boyfriend who has everything?
958
01:25:34,092 --> 01:25:37,383
Our architect wanted
to give him something personal.
959
01:25:37,508 --> 01:25:43,217
An act expressing
his bottomless love for his boyfriend.
960
01:25:44,217 --> 01:25:49,216
And since he knew that his boyfriend
was mad about the back of his shoulders,
961
01:25:49,217 --> 01:25:52,882
he went ahead and had it tattooed
962
01:25:52,883 --> 01:25:58,300
with the three words he knew
his boyfriend cherished above all others.
963
01:26:04,925 --> 01:26:08,757
The excitement was not
as immediate as he had hoped.
964
01:26:08,758 --> 01:26:12,799
The birthday boy
was disappointed at first,
965
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:16,925
as you can be when you get
a present you didn't really want.
966
01:26:17,925 --> 01:26:21,633
He tried to smile,
even though he felt his boyfriend
967
01:26:21,758 --> 01:26:25,883
had defaced
the most beautiful part of his body.
968
01:26:26,675 --> 01:26:29,050
It felt like a betrayal.
969
01:26:29,175 --> 01:26:31,258
He also thought
the typeface was wrong.
970
01:26:31,383 --> 01:26:34,507
And since he couldn't
tell him how he really felt,
971
01:26:34,508 --> 01:26:39,550
he said it was a weird choice
to go with a Le Corbusier typeface
972
01:26:39,675 --> 01:26:42,591
for a Frank Lloyd Wright tattoo.
973
01:26:42,592 --> 01:26:46,174
He heard how cruel it sounded.
974
01:26:46,175 --> 01:26:50,633
He knew that the worst thing you can tell
a newly tattooed architect is
975
01:26:50,758 --> 01:26:54,425
that he chose the wrong typeface.
976
01:26:55,425 --> 01:26:58,258
The newly tattooed wept with regret.
977
01:26:58,383 --> 01:27:03,007
He said he'd been thrown off by the
aggressive interior of the tattoo parlour.
978
01:27:03,008 --> 01:27:07,674
And that the tattoo artist had been
much more attractive than he'd expected.
979
01:27:07,675 --> 01:27:09,966
But whatever the reasons,
980
01:27:09,967 --> 01:27:12,633
it was too late for regrets.
981
01:27:14,467 --> 01:27:16,966
Who is Frank Lloyd Wright?
982
01:27:16,967 --> 01:27:19,966
A famous American architect.
983
01:27:19,967 --> 01:27:24,633
Did he come to you to get it removed?
Did they break up?
984
01:27:24,758 --> 01:27:29,216
No. Luckily, people aren't that shallow.
It takes more than that.
985
01:27:29,217 --> 01:27:32,633
And they loved each other.
986
01:27:32,758 --> 01:27:39,049
The man the tattoo was meant to honour,
learned to appreciate it.
987
01:27:39,050 --> 01:27:42,008
He grew to regard it with tenderness.
988
01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:47,007
The reason they came to see me
was something else entirely.
989
01:27:47,008 --> 01:27:48,883
Unfortunately.
990
01:27:54,258 --> 01:27:58,008
- I still want a tattoo.
- I kind of want one too, now.
991
01:28:00,550 --> 01:28:03,841
Hi. Are you home?
992
01:28:03,842 --> 01:28:08,467
- I thought you were meeting Hanne?
- I just got home.
993
01:28:09,633 --> 01:28:14,924
- Where have you been?
- I've just been ...
994
01:28:14,925 --> 01:28:18,091
... walking around all afternoon.
995
01:28:18,092 --> 01:28:22,425
- What about the kids?
- They're next door. They called.
996
01:28:24,342 --> 01:28:28,341
- Are you writing?
- Yeah, it's ...
997
01:28:28,342 --> 01:28:31,049
Yeah, I ...
998
01:28:31,050 --> 01:28:36,799
- Where did you walk?
- Just around. Downtown.
999
01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:40,799
I sat on the pier by City Hall for a bit.
1000
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:47,299
A bride and groom came
and wanted a photo with me.
1001
01:28:47,300 --> 01:28:52,342
You know, it's considered good luck
1002
01:28:52,467 --> 01:28:56,092
to meet a chimney sweep
on your wedding day.
1003
01:28:56,217 --> 01:28:59,758
Did you have sex with them too?
1004
01:29:06,092 --> 01:29:09,383
I'm sorry. That was ...
1005
01:29:09,508 --> 01:29:11,092
I'm sorry.
1006
01:29:15,092 --> 01:29:17,467
How was it seeing Hanne?
1007
01:29:17,592 --> 01:29:21,174
It was enlightening.
1008
01:29:21,175 --> 01:29:25,674
- What did she say?
- She thinks it's grounds for divorce.
1009
01:29:25,675 --> 01:29:32,549
If Knut had come home and told her that,
she'd have kicked him out.
1010
01:29:32,550 --> 01:29:35,092
But you know, that's Hanne.
1011
01:29:39,933 --> 01:29:42,146
You don't think that way?
1012
01:29:42,626 --> 01:29:43,400
No.
1013
01:29:45,400 --> 01:29:49,373
But it felt good talking to someone else.
1014
01:29:49,626 --> 01:29:52,666
I've been so tense.
1015
01:29:52,733 --> 01:29:56,186
My body has tensed up.
1016
01:29:56,226 --> 01:30:01,670
I began crying as soon
as I started talking about it.
1017
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:07,966
But after a while, I could feel how saying
it out loud had loosened something.
1018
01:30:07,967 --> 01:30:12,550
By the end, we just
sat there laughing, all three of us.
1019
01:30:12,675 --> 01:30:16,424
- It felt nice.
- Laughing?
1020
01:30:16,425 --> 01:30:19,049
All three of you?
1021
01:30:19,050 --> 01:30:23,175
Hanne brought a friend, Bjørn.
1022
01:30:24,883 --> 01:30:28,841
So you told him everything too?
1023
01:30:28,842 --> 01:30:31,050
Well, he was there.
1024
01:30:32,300 --> 01:30:37,716
He's a psychologist,
so he had his own take on it.
1025
01:30:37,717 --> 01:30:43,716
- Is that so? And what was that?
- He mostly just asked questions.
1026
01:30:43,717 --> 01:30:48,342
He said I needed to organise my thoughts
1027
01:30:48,467 --> 01:30:51,841
and claim ownership of the narrative.
1028
01:30:51,842 --> 01:30:55,633
- Ownership of the narrative?
- The story, then.
1029
01:30:55,758 --> 01:31:03,383
This isn't a story. It's something
that's happened to us, our lives.
1030
01:31:12,133 --> 01:31:14,550
Is that work you're doing?
1031
01:31:14,675 --> 01:31:16,133
Nope.
1032
01:31:17,342 --> 01:31:23,883
Bjørn said it might help if I wrote down
what I'm thinking and feeling.
1033
01:31:32,550 --> 01:31:38,883
I guess that's not something
you want me to read.
1034
01:31:40,883 --> 01:31:43,508
Would you want me to read it?
1035
01:31:50,133 --> 01:31:51,842
Read away.
1036
01:32:06,633 --> 01:32:11,050
"It's what he does
rather than what he says ..."
1037
01:32:11,175 --> 01:32:14,132
It sounds dumb when you read it out loud.
1038
01:32:14,133 --> 01:32:18,717
What do you mean by that? What I do,
not what I say? I say lots of things.
1039
01:32:18,842 --> 01:32:22,175
Right now, what you're saying
doesn't mean that much.
1040
01:32:22,300 --> 01:32:27,174
It's what you do,
your actions, I care about.
1041
01:32:27,175 --> 01:32:29,592
Maybe that's why I was so hurt.
1042
01:32:29,717 --> 01:32:35,842
When you cheated, it was an action
that excluded me completely.
1043
01:32:35,967 --> 01:32:42,008
I wasn't part of your world
when you gave your body to someone else.
1044
01:32:42,133 --> 01:32:46,050
Did you write that down?
That I gave my body to someone else?
1045
01:32:47,300 --> 01:32:50,842
I've written everything. The whole story.
1046
01:32:50,967 --> 01:32:55,967
Everything you told me. Everything
that happened at that guy's house.
1047
01:33:00,758 --> 01:33:05,550
The whole story? In your own words?
1048
01:33:07,342 --> 01:33:10,342
Of course it's in my own words.
1049
01:33:13,425 --> 01:33:16,425
Hey. What are you thinking right now?
1050
01:33:24,342 --> 01:33:25,883
I don't know.
1051
01:33:32,342 --> 01:33:37,007
It's like you're making it your story,
in a way.
1052
01:33:37,008 --> 01:33:39,925
This happened to me too.
1053
01:36:27,550 --> 01:36:32,550
- What are you guys doing up so early?
- Klaus got up at five.
1054
01:36:36,300 --> 01:36:39,592
- How's the hand?
- Better.
1055
01:36:41,550 --> 01:36:45,299
I took down that dream catcher.
1056
01:36:45,300 --> 01:36:47,758
Why? Don't you like it?
1057
01:36:48,758 --> 01:36:52,674
Turn it inside out and check.
1058
01:36:52,675 --> 01:36:57,591
What would you think if I told you that I
keep dreaming I meet David Bowie,
1059
01:36:57,592 --> 01:37:01,300
and that he looks at me as if I'm a woman?
1060
01:37:04,508 --> 01:37:11,258
How do you interpret that?
That it's a suppressed wish?
1061
01:37:11,383 --> 01:37:13,800
It just does something to me.
1062
01:37:13,925 --> 01:37:17,800
- Something bad?
- Maybe not.
1063
01:37:17,925 --> 01:37:20,591
- Oh no!
- It feels like ...
1064
01:37:20,592 --> 01:37:24,300
It's inside out.
You have to undo it.
1065
01:37:25,300 --> 01:37:27,549
That goes on the other side.
1066
01:37:27,550 --> 01:37:35,383
Do you ever feel like life is just about
limiting and constricting yourself?
1067
01:37:37,383 --> 01:37:41,591
This sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis.
1068
01:37:41,592 --> 01:37:45,758
Maybe that's it.
I'll stop going on about it.
1069
01:37:45,883 --> 01:37:48,633
No, keep talking.
1070
01:37:49,758 --> 01:37:55,633
So he looks at you like you're a woman.
Do you feel like you're a woman?
1071
01:37:56,633 --> 01:38:00,633
No, I ... Or, what does that feel like?
1072
01:38:02,092 --> 01:38:04,132
How do I explain that?
1073
01:38:04,133 --> 01:38:07,132
Does it feel like something's wrong
with your body?
1074
01:38:07,133 --> 01:38:11,549
Is there a dissonance between
how your body feels and how it looks?
1075
01:38:11,550 --> 01:38:14,174
No, I'm ...
1076
01:38:14,175 --> 01:38:17,175
I'm reasonably happy with my body.
1077
01:38:17,300 --> 01:38:21,383
And you don't have an urge
to put on women's clothes?
1078
01:38:21,508 --> 01:38:23,799
Not at all.
1079
01:38:23,800 --> 01:38:25,925
It's not about that.
1080
01:38:27,842 --> 01:38:32,299
It feels like it goes deeper than that.
It's hard to explain.
1081
01:38:32,300 --> 01:38:37,299
I think it's the fact that he looks at me
in a way no one has ever done.
1082
01:38:37,300 --> 01:38:42,133
And it's so powerful that
it's still in my body when I wake up.
1083
01:38:42,258 --> 01:38:44,675
It stays with me all day.
1084
01:38:46,675 --> 01:38:49,758
In what way? Is it uncomfortable?
1085
01:38:49,883 --> 01:38:54,883
At first, I thought so,
because it was such a new feeling, but ...
1086
01:38:57,383 --> 01:39:00,050
... now I kind of like it.
1087
01:39:02,592 --> 01:39:07,967
It's like I see things differently
because someone looked at me differently.
1088
01:39:10,092 --> 01:39:15,342
Don't tell anyone this,
but a mate from work, he ...
1089
01:39:16,592 --> 01:39:19,799
He had sex with another guy.
1090
01:39:19,800 --> 01:39:23,424
- And I think that ...
- Was it ...?
1091
01:39:23,425 --> 01:39:26,425
Yes, but don't ask who.
1092
01:39:26,550 --> 01:39:32,007
Don't ask. The point is,
he's not actually gay.
1093
01:39:32,008 --> 01:39:37,757
No? I think that's up for debate
if he had sex with another man.
1094
01:39:37,758 --> 01:39:42,299
Homosexuality isn't just
an identity, it's also an activity.
1095
01:39:42,300 --> 01:39:46,716
One he has participated in if he has,
indeed, had sex with another man.
1096
01:39:46,717 --> 01:39:49,549
That's how you see it.
1097
01:39:49,550 --> 01:39:54,175
But we were talking about me, and I ...
1098
01:39:54,300 --> 01:39:58,591
When he told me
about this sexual encounter,
1099
01:39:58,592 --> 01:40:03,382
he said that he'd never had anyone look
at him the way this guy looked at him.
1100
01:40:03,383 --> 01:40:09,425
It had nothing to do with me,
but I could relate to that bit, you know?
1101
01:40:09,550 --> 01:40:11,466
Not really.
1102
01:40:11,467 --> 01:40:14,842
This isn't about sex, with you?
1103
01:40:15,758 --> 01:40:18,883
No, it doesn't.
1104
01:40:19,008 --> 01:40:21,258
It's about ...
1105
01:40:22,842 --> 01:40:26,757
... expectations. That ...
1106
01:40:26,758 --> 01:40:31,924
You're used to people expecting so much,
and then you try to live up to that.
1107
01:40:31,925 --> 01:40:37,217
It felt good to be looked at
without those expectations.
1108
01:40:40,467 --> 01:40:42,467
What are you thinking?
1109
01:40:43,467 --> 01:40:45,424
I don't quite understand ...
1110
01:40:45,425 --> 01:40:50,091
So he looks at you as if you were a woman.
1111
01:40:50,092 --> 01:40:53,799
I don't understand
what's so liberating about that.
1112
01:40:53,800 --> 01:41:01,550
Being objectified or defined by others
is not something I've ever enjoyed.
1113
01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:06,342
Maybe it's not that
he's looking at me as if I'm a woman,
1114
01:41:06,467 --> 01:41:11,758
but that he's looking at me
as neither woman nor man.
1115
01:41:14,342 --> 01:41:17,675
That he just looks straight to my core.
1116
01:41:18,675 --> 01:41:24,258
It's such a benevolent,
open gaze, without reservation.
1117
01:41:24,383 --> 01:41:29,008
There were no expectations.
I was free to be whoever I want.
1118
01:41:29,842 --> 01:41:31,842
Whoever that is.
1119
01:41:32,842 --> 01:41:36,591
Sounds more like God than Bowie.
1120
01:41:36,592 --> 01:41:41,549
If we were able to meet
each other with the assumption
1121
01:41:41,550 --> 01:41:45,217
that love is the way and the goal.
1122
01:41:45,342 --> 01:41:48,383
If we were able
to meet each other in that spirit,
1123
01:41:48,508 --> 01:41:51,799
we would be much freer
in our interactions.
1124
01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:57,300
If we approached every situation
as an opportunity to do good.
1125
01:41:59,842 --> 01:42:06,883
Like the guy on the radio who said the
only thing worth competing in is kindness.
1126
01:42:09,467 --> 01:42:11,258
It's hard to imagine,
1127
01:42:11,383 --> 01:42:15,300
but it's a scenario in which everyone
wins.
1128
01:42:18,133 --> 01:42:23,217
I don't think you should look
at these dreams as a problem.
1129
01:42:24,550 --> 01:42:28,007
You could think of it as something nice.
1130
01:42:28,008 --> 01:42:32,967
Think of it as God's way of saying
you can contain everything.
1131
01:42:33,883 --> 01:42:36,592
You can rest in that knowledge.
1132
01:42:41,342 --> 01:42:46,050
- What are you making?
- Your outfit.
1133
01:42:48,383 --> 01:42:50,925
It's going to look great.
1134
01:44:08,008 --> 01:44:11,258
I have to ask:
Are you sure you're not gay?
1135
01:44:11,383 --> 01:44:16,091
You've asked me that already.
As has my wife.
1136
01:44:16,092 --> 01:44:19,467
Maybe you don't believe me,
1137
01:44:19,592 --> 01:44:24,008
I think you can have sex
with a man without being gay.
1138
01:44:31,467 --> 01:44:39,342
Do you think I was wrong to do it,
from a moral standpoint?
1139
01:44:39,467 --> 01:44:42,799
- Because I'm Christian?
- Yes.
1140
01:44:42,800 --> 01:44:46,842
I don't think Jesus
came to earth in order to ...
1141
01:44:48,133 --> 01:44:52,257
... protect the nuclear family
or interfere with people's love lives.
1142
01:44:52,258 --> 01:44:54,467
On the contrary.
1143
01:44:54,592 --> 01:45:00,342
I'm just really glad you felt
comfortable sharing it with me.
1144
01:45:00,467 --> 01:45:03,133
That you trust me even if I'm Christian.
1145
01:45:03,258 --> 01:45:06,550
But that's also why I trust you.
1146
01:45:06,675 --> 01:45:11,883
I often think about
when you told me you were Christian.
1147
01:45:13,050 --> 01:45:17,132
It looked like that was difficult for you.
1148
01:45:17,133 --> 01:45:19,592
And I can understand that.
1149
01:45:20,592 --> 01:45:26,467
But that you found the courage
to tell me meant an awful lot.
1150
01:45:28,467 --> 01:45:34,133
I thought about that when deciding
to tell you this. I wasn't sure.
1151
01:45:35,550 --> 01:45:37,133
But then I thought:
1152
01:45:37,258 --> 01:45:42,467
Admitting you're Christian must be worse
than admitting you've slept with a man.
1153
01:45:43,717 --> 01:45:49,092
It meant so much to me
that you trusted me enough to tell me.
1154
01:45:50,717 --> 01:45:55,467
But do you think it was
wrong of me to do that?
1155
01:45:57,008 --> 01:46:00,091
I'm not sure how to respond.
1156
01:46:00,092 --> 01:46:03,258
You hurt your wife.
1157
01:46:03,383 --> 01:46:06,092
I can't approve of that.
1158
01:46:06,217 --> 01:46:10,133
No, me neither.
1159
01:46:13,258 --> 01:46:17,133
But you wish it wouldn't have hurt her?
1160
01:46:21,592 --> 01:46:25,425
Yeah, I guess that's true.
1161
01:46:30,633 --> 01:46:33,133
I guess I wish that too.
1162
01:46:34,133 --> 01:46:40,925
Because when you told me, it seemed like
you'd had a wonderful experience.
1163
01:46:41,925 --> 01:46:46,966
- I don't know how wonderful it was.
- Sensational, was the word you used.
1164
01:46:46,967 --> 01:46:49,757
And when you experience
something really wonderful,
1165
01:46:49,758 --> 01:46:51,967
you should be able to appreciate it.
1166
01:46:52,092 --> 01:46:56,591
Even if you feel like your wife
has diminished it by talking about it,
1167
01:46:56,592 --> 01:46:59,300
you don't have to do the same.
1168
01:47:00,175 --> 01:47:02,425
It was your experience.
1169
01:47:04,175 --> 01:47:07,175
You remember being penetrated.
1170
01:47:09,092 --> 01:47:11,300
You can keep that to yourself.
1171
01:47:12,300 --> 01:47:15,925
Treasure it in your heart,
like the Virgin Mary.
1172
01:47:20,092 --> 01:47:22,966
The boys are in the car.
Are you ready to go?
1173
01:47:22,967 --> 01:47:26,174
Can I say something before we go?
1174
01:47:26,175 --> 01:47:30,174
Sorry to keep harping on about this.
1175
01:47:30,175 --> 01:47:33,216
If we are going to be completely free ...
1176
01:47:33,217 --> 01:47:36,924
Give each other that freedom ...
1177
01:47:36,925 --> 01:47:44,300
Live without limitations,
commitments or obligations ...
1178
01:47:46,217 --> 01:47:49,216
But we're still a couple, like you said.
1179
01:47:49,217 --> 01:47:51,092
Yes ...
1180
01:47:52,508 --> 01:47:55,050
We have love for one another.
1181
01:47:56,050 --> 01:48:00,217
That is an obligation
whether we want to or not.
1182
01:48:03,092 --> 01:48:09,216
Love feels so fragile. So transient.
1183
01:48:09,217 --> 01:48:12,675
Yeah ... Is it hard to trust it?
1184
01:48:15,758 --> 01:48:18,507
What if you think of ...
1185
01:48:18,508 --> 01:48:21,883
... love as a choice?
1186
01:48:23,633 --> 01:48:26,092
That I've chosen you.
1187
01:48:27,842 --> 01:48:29,925
And you've chosen me.
1188
01:48:36,133 --> 01:48:38,133
Yeah ...
1189
01:48:39,508 --> 01:48:41,258
Maybe.
1190
01:50:16,425 --> 01:50:19,382
- Hello.
- Hi!
1191
01:50:19,383 --> 01:50:21,008
Wow!
1192
01:50:21,967 --> 01:50:24,050
- It's my outfit.
- I see.
1193
01:50:24,175 --> 01:50:27,424
- My son made it.
- Really? That's impressive!
1194
01:50:27,425 --> 01:50:31,382
- With a sprained hand, to boot.
- It looks professional.
1195
01:50:31,383 --> 01:50:36,882
- Is it just you?
- No, my wife and kids are here.
1196
01:50:36,883 --> 01:50:39,717
- Hello.
- Hi.
1197
01:50:39,842 --> 01:50:41,424
- You look great.
- Thanks.
1198
01:50:41,425 --> 01:50:43,383
- Hi!
- Hi.
1199
01:50:44,383 --> 01:50:47,050
Well? Are you ready?
1200
01:50:48,175 --> 01:50:50,382
Well, I ...
1201
01:50:50,383 --> 01:50:54,300
- Are you nervous?
- A bit excited, maybe.
1202
01:50:55,008 --> 01:50:56,967
Good luck.
1203
01:51:01,425 --> 01:51:04,758
His son made the outfit.
1204
01:52:10,383 --> 01:52:12,592
For I know
1205
01:52:12,717 --> 01:52:17,050
the plans I have
1206
01:52:17,175 --> 01:52:20,466
for you
1207
01:52:20,467 --> 01:52:24,050
declares the Lord
1208
01:52:26,508 --> 01:52:32,175
Plans for welfare
1209
01:52:34,258 --> 01:52:42,217
And not for evil
1210
01:52:48,508 --> 01:52:55,883
To give you a future and a hope
1211
01:54:39,175 --> 01:54:43,092
For I know the plans
1212
01:54:43,217 --> 01:54:47,675
I have for you
1213
01:54:50,758 --> 01:54:57,675
To give you a future and a hope.
1214
01:58:17,258 --> 01:58:20,842
Subtitles by Nortext
91230
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.