All language subtitles for (1990) House of Cards – Episode 1

CLOCK TICKS

Nothing lasts forever.

Even the longest,
the most glittering reign

must come to an end someday.

Who could replace her?
Plenty of contenders.

Old warriors, young pretenders.

Lord Billsborough, say. Party Chairman.

Too old and too familiar.

Tainted by a thousand shabby deals.

Michael Samuels. Too young.

And too clever.

Patrick Woolton.

Bit of a lout. Bit of a bully-boy.

Yes, It could well be Woolton.

Henry Collingridge.
The people's favourite.

A well-meaning fool.

No background and no bottom.

What, me? Oh, no, no, no.

I'm the Chief Whip.
Merely a functionary.

I keep the troops tn line.

I put a bit of stick about,
I make 'em jump.

And I shall, of course, give my absolute
loyalty to whoever emerges as my leader.

You'll have to excuse me now.

FEMALE NEWSREADER: Henry Collingridge
/s Britain's new Prime Minister.

Today Henry Collingridge emerged
as the popular choice to lead his party

as Prime Minister
in the forthcoming general election.

Mr Collingridge, who is 48 years old,

has served as
Minister for the Environment

and Minister for Inner City Growth

and has been described
as the acceptable face of capitalism.

Well, let's see how he does.

Throughout the span of this government,

we have transformed this country
beyond all recognition.

We are now a nation of property owners,

a nation of shareholders,

a proud nation of men and women

who know how to get off their backsides
and help themselves.

We have achieved

all that we set out to achieve.

APPLAUSE

Now its the time

when we can afford
to share our hard-won gains

with those less successful
than ourselves.

And now, let our watchword be this.

Let's find the right way

for all of our people

to come together.

CHEERING

Bloody nonsense. All come together?

Sounds like a motto
of a knocking-shop in Marrakech.

Dear old Patrick.

Knocking-shop in Marrakech!
Very wide of the mark.

Our esteemed new leader wouldn't
know a knocking-shop if he saw one.

His morality is strictly backstreet
Sunday school hypocritical cant

picked up in Peterborough or Rugeley

or some such God-awful place.

Not that one holds that against him,
of course,

though we certainly started something

when we let fellows like that
climb up the greasy pole.

Good boy. My own background,
as you see, is somewhat different.

But privilege carries responsibility.

Iam a loyal servant of the State
and proud to be so.

Besides, I may not think highly
of Henry Collingridge

but I believe he thinks highly of me.

I have hopes of high office,
I must confess,

and have been promised as much
by the man himself.

But first things first, eh?
We have a general election to win.

Good evening
and welcome to Flection Special.

The polling stations have just closed

and we have a long night ahead of us.

But early indications are
that the government will be returned

but with a substantially
reduced majority.

For he's a jolly good fellow!

-Ghastly people.
-Our people.

What was that frightful woman
talking about?

She wanted the smack of firm government.

She wanted you to smack her bottom.

I could see that much
from across the room.

What is Collingridge going to do
for you?

I don't know. Perhaps nothing.

-My God, I've done enough for him.
-More than he deserves.

That woman thought
I should be Prime Minister.

"Glamis and Cawdor, and King hereafter."

I think that you should be
Prime Minister.

You're twice the man Collingridge is
or ever will be.

Well, yes, my wife is very loyal.

A politician needs a wife.
And other people, too, regrettably.

A man of state needs helpers,

little elves and sprites
to do his bidding.

Even unwitting pawns
who don't know who they serve.

Roger O'Neill,

the party's Publicity Director,

Lord Billsborough's right-hand man.

HORNS HONKING

Jesus, Roger!

Ah, but did you catch that sidestep?
Wasn't that magical?

I had Phil Bennett with that once
at Lansdowne Road.

Open the window, will you, Rog?
Where were you, anyway?

Picking something up.
Something to celebrate with.

URQUHART: Has his little weaknesses.

Very...warm nature.

Very...human.

But I don't mind that.

They make him more...

They make him easier to deal with.

And of course, one needs
a sympathetic ear

amongst the ladies and gentlemen
of the press,

those valiant seekers after truth.

NEWSANCHOR: As we wait to go over
to Torbay for the first result,

let's see what the countrywide swing
would look like

/f our exit poll 1s correct.
An overall majority of 37 seats

would mean that the political map
of Great Britain would look like this.

Jesus!

What are they playing at?
We backed those bastards all the way.

-Why can't they deliver?
-No one's saying they'll lose.

Going in with a majority of 100
and losing 70-odd seats

isn't exactly a vote of
bloody confidence, is it?

And never a word of it in the polls.
Nobody forecast this.

Greville, I've been trying to tell you
it'll be closer than the polls said.

They're Just not coming out
for Collingridge. I told you that.

Oh, thank you very much, Mattie. That's
extremely helpful at this juncture!

What are we going to do now?
I mean, Christ, look at that.

"Home & Dry." Home and bloody dry.

-Brilliant! And who wrote that nonsense?
-I thought you did, Greville.

It was dictated to me over the phone
by our proprietor, Mr Benjamin Landless.

Even he wouldn't want the late edition
to go out looking like that.

Mattie? Any thoughts?

"Government Majority Slashed"?

"Back In By A Whisker"?

"I'm Still Standing But Only Just"?

Look, it's your job on the bloody line
as well, you know!

Greville, we can afford to wait a bit.

It's only 20 minutes
till the first result.

Don't worry. I'll be back in Just a sec.

Come here, you.

-Jeremy is scared shitless.
-I told him it'd be close.

And I've told him that we're going to
get our analysis out first,

showing how his ads zapped
the target voters in every category.

Right. So if we win, headquarters
will know they owe it all to us.

-And if we lose...
-If we lose, everyone will say

we ran the best campaign ever
and the lousy politicians blew it.

Rog, are you OK?

Bloody hayfever.

Fine. Fine!

-Never better.
-RESULTS PLAYING ON TV

Oh, Lord. I think this ts it.

-Terry Aloysius Alabaster...
-Happy Sunshine Party.

_..435 votes.

-MURMURING AND LAUGHTER
-labour.

-... 16,514.
-CROWD: Ooh!

-George Timothy Granville Green...
-Conservative.

-..25,/85.
- CHEERING

What's 23,000?

Eight percent swing.

Majority of 30 or so,

Just what they forecast
in the exit poll. We'll be all right.

We've just about saved our bacon.

Well done, Roger! Well done indeed!

If that doesn't get you a knighthood,
I don't know what will.

Beg your pardon,
I didn't mean to interrupt.

-Have you met my assistant, Penny Guy?
-Delighted.

So you assist young Roger, do you?
What exactly do you assist him with?

Oh, Just about anything
at all, actually.

I say!

Shall I, er...?

Oh, about...15 minutes?

Right. Bye.

You don't by any chance have an
arrangement for leasing her out, do you?

Excuse me, Sir.

It's all right, Constable.
My name is Charles Collingridge.

-And here is my membership card.
-I'm sorry, sir.

Erm...

-It's all right, Constable.
-Teddy. I've got myself into a pickle.

-Come on, Charles.
-I'm sorry, sir.

Sir, the Prime Minister's expected
in five minutes.

Well, boys, we're back.

Lord, they're all here.
Teddy, is it all right

for a chap to come and drink
his brother's health?

Absolutely, Charles.
We're delighted to see you.

-Where's Hal?
-On his way, Charles. Soon be here.

SIRENS WAILING

Hal?

It could have been worse.

-SNEEZING
-Mr O'Neill!

-Mr O'Neill!
-Who is it?

The Prime Minister's office.

I can't hear you.

It's the Prime Minister for you,
Mr O'Neill!

APPLAUSE

Hello?

Yes, this is Roger O'Neill.

Thank you.

Just putting me through.

Prime Minister!
Many, many congratulations

and how very good of you It Is to call.

And then I'd like to lick it all off

very, very slowly.

Thank you very much, Prime Minister.
I know that'll be very much appreciated.

And did I say that all of this
would be taking place

In the fifth-year dorm at Benenden?

Prime Minister, I'm overwhelmed.
May I tell them that?

The Prime Minister Just wants me
to thank you on his behalf

for running such a fabulous campaign

and he says he's not going to ask
for his money back.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Well done!
-Thank you, Bertie.

-Well done, Michael.
-Thanks, Lucy.

Isn't he lovely?

-Many congratulations, Michael.
-Thank you, Francis.

ALL TALKING, INDISTINCT

So sorry. Please let me get you
another one.

-Um...
-Charles Collingridge.

It's all right, I've asked
Francis Urquhart to keep an eye on him.

Urquhart?

Hardly see him
as one of nature's nursemaids.

I'm not so sure, Michael.
He's got a good heart does Francis

but he won't stand for any
bloody nonsense.

Ideal nursemaid, in my opinion.

-He's a bore.
-Damn good thing, too.

Dull dog but sound as a bell.

I get the strong impression
he doesn't care much for me.

You're younger than he ts.

You're clever and
you make no effort to hide it.

You're better-looking than he Is.

-And I'm Jewish.
-Well, quite.

But the odd thing
about Francis Urquhart is

he'd never stab you tn the back,
however much he disliked you.

Not many left like Urquhart.
A dying breed, more's the pity.

-Uh, Teddy?
-Ah.

-He's here.
-Right.

-You coming down?
-I'll wait up here.

CHEERING

INAUDIBLE

Thank you, thank you all so much.
You've been magnificent. Thank you.

-How's it looking, Teddy?
-24, possibly 25.

-As bad as that, huh?
-It's a majority.

-Five more years, Henry.
-Yes, there is that.

-Francis!
-Welcome back, Prime Minister.

Following our conversation last week,

I've had one or two thoughts
about the new cabinet.

I'm sure you have, Francis.
I'm sure you have. Good man.

Put them down on paper, would you? And
come round first thing in the morning.

-My pleasure, Prime Minister.
-Hal! Hal!

-It's me!
-Oh, God, Charlie. Not tonight.

Don't worry. I'll look after him.
Charlie!

I've been hoping for a word all night.

Francis. Francis Urquhart.
My dear old friend.

Do you know what
I feel like doing, Charlie?

-Getting rat-arsed?
-Exactly.

Come on, I know a good place
round the corner.

Splendid. Two good chaps
getting rat-arsed together.

Surprised? Well, everybody
can be valuable. That's my philosophy.

Mr Urquhart! Mr Urquhart!

No, no, no. Nothing to report.

Oh, hello, Charles. I hope you had
a little bet on the winning team.

-You understand I really can't...
-Are you here

just to advise on the new cabinet,
Minister Urquhart?

Or is there a job in it for you?

I advise the Prime Minister
on many matters, as you know,

and my advice is confidential.

Word Is that you're in line for a
senior cabinet position. Is that so?

You can't expect me
to comment on rumours

nor to keep my Prime Minister waiting.
Thank you very much, gentlemen, ladies.

Mr Urquhart!

Mr Urquhart, can I have a word?

DOOR OPENS

DOOR OPENS

Sorry to keep you waiting, Chief Whip.
He's ready for you now.

-If you'd like to come up to the study?
-Thank you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Prime Minister.

Teddy. Didn't realise you'd be here.

Pull up a chair, Francis.

Now, I've had a careful look
at this memorandum of yours.

You're proposing a very radical change.

-I'd like you to tell me why.
-Well, er...

-Just in general terms.
-All right.

We have been In power
longer than any party since the war.

It's a new kind of challenge.

We need to show
that we are not stagnating,

that we are capable of self-renewal.

Your own succession to the leadership,
Prime Minister,

is a very good example
of the sort of thing I mean.

And now you want to see a great deal
more of that sort of thing?

Well, I think we've had a pretty clear
indication from the country

-that people are looking for change.
-You think so?

The new names you've put forward here,

none of them could be described as
being on the liberal wing of the party.

-Wouldn't you agree, Francis?
-No one from the radical right, either.

They're all good, sound men,
Prime Minster.

Good, sound men from the Shires, hmm?

Guaranteed to do what they're told?

I'd rather say that they're all men
who have been bred and educated

In a tradition of public service

and have proved their reliability
over long years.

Well, yes, that Is
another way of putting it.

And I see you're offering
your own services in high office?

You will remember, Prime Minister,

that some months ago
we talked about the possibility

that after the election there might be
a senior ministerial post.

Yes. Yes, I do remember that.

Things do change so very quickly
in politics, don't they, Francis?

I'm very grateful indeed
for your suggestions

but I have to tell you now
that we disagree with you entirely.

Do you remember Macmillan,
the Night of the Long Knives?

He sacked a third of his cabinet and
destroyed his government in the process.

He was out within a year, Francis.

Now, here is what I have in mind.

As you see, no cabinet changes at all.

It'll be seen for what It Is, a sign
of strength and sureness of purpose.

Well, I hope the parliamentary party
will see it in that way.

I rather count on you to press it home
to them, Francis, as Chief Whip.

-I do assume I have your full support?
-Of course. That goes without saying.

Good. I want you to know that
I still regard you

as a candidate
for the highest office but...

you are also the strongest
and most deeply respected Chief Whip

this party has had,
I think I may say, since the war.

With such a slender majority
in the House,

a good Chief Whip Is more important
to me than a good Home Secretary.

You are too kind, Prime Minister.

Much too kind.

Nothing!

Nothing! Not a damned thing!

And then he had the gall to say
that he counted on my support!

He said his fate was in my hands,
Elizabeth. Melodramatic twaddle.

Is it?

What?

Isn't there...some truth in it?

Isn't his fate in your hands?

No. No, no. I'm in charge of discipline.

But I can't deliver
if my troops are disaffected.

But aren't they disaffected now?

His weakness,

his refusal to take
responsibility for firm leadership,

it's going to bring
this government down sooner or later.

Yes. And sooner
rather than later, in my view.

-Unless...
-Unless

he were to relinquish the leadership.

He won't do that.

Unless a better man
were to take the leadership from him.

Have you any idea
what that would involve?

No, but I would imagine
that you have a very good idea, Francis.

And I know that you're capable
of doing whatever is necessary.

DOORBELL RINGS

-We're not expecting anyone, are we?
-No.

I'll go.

Mr Urquhart.
Mattie Storin, 7he Chronicle.

I'm sorry to disturb you at home but
I've been trying to contact you all day.

I'd appreciate some help
in understanding the thinking

behind this really surprising
announcement about no cabinet changes.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude,
but I have no comment to make.

Mr Urquhart, that's a great story but
I don't think you'd like us to run it.

I beg your pardon? What story?

Late last night,
there were telltale signs

of deep division
in the highest party circles.

"Francis Urquhart, the Chief Whip, who
has been denied promotion once again,

refused to comment on or defend
the Prime Minister's decision."

I know you, don't I?

Aren't you the new girl
Greville Preston took on

when they pensioned off old Cecil Roach?

I'm the newish political correspondent
on 7he Chronicle, Mr Urquhart.

Ah, yes.

Quite.

Do come inside, Miss Storin.

Oh, let me take your coat.

Good evening.

Good evening, Mrs Urquhart.

Miss Storin. A Journalist.

We'll talk in my study, Elizabeth.
Then you won't be disturbed.

My wife likes to listen to Wagner in
the evenings, Miss Storin. Do come in.

-Would you like a drink?
-I'll have whatever you're having.

-Whisky. All right?
-Thank you.

Bruichladdich, tf you know your malts.

Thank you.

Do sit down.

Well, now...

Mr Urquhart,

In my piece tomorrow
I'll faithfully record

your public loyalty
to the Prime Minister

and your defence of his actions
or, in this case, lack of actions.

But I want to understand
what people are really thinking.

I want to know what you really feel.

And I think you'd like to talk to me,
in confidence, on lobby terms.

-And what makes you think that?
-You didn't have to let me in.

You could have phoned Greville Preston
and complained about my harassment

and threatened him with this and that
and he'd have listened.

Because one thing everyone knows

is that threats from Francis Urquhart
are not idle threats.

-Good.
-And if I were to betray your confidence

you could have me not just sacked
but unemployable within the week.

-I'm going to confide in you, am I?
-I hope so.

Everyone says, "Francis Urquhart could
tell you the answer but he won't."

Well, at this stage in my career,

I need to understand much more
than I need scoop headlines.

I need a friend in high places,
Mr Urquhart.

And I think you'd like to talk to
someone like me.

And nobody knows I'm here tonight.
And nobody will.

Perhaps you'd like to ask me questions,
Miss Storin?

Mattie, please.

Yes. Mattie.

There really Is a lot of rivalry
and dissent

within the cabinet, isn't there?

Some elements of the party,
some elements in the cabinet,

are deeply distressed.

They don't think the PM has
what it takes

for a full five-year term
or anywhere near it.

They see another
leadership crisis looming.

And the more ambitious of them
want to be well placed when it comes.

They're not thinking about
the good of the party any more,

much less the good of the country,

they're thinking about
the next leadership race.

And one might say the same
about the Prime Minister,

that he's thinking about
his own survival,

not the good of the country.

You might say that,
I couldn't possibly say that

and if one word of this
is linked with my name...

I am a lobby correspondent,
Mr Urquhart. Don't worry.

It'll be "senior members of the party"

and "sources close to
the Prime Minister".

Good. Very good.

Could I ask you why
you've decided to talk to me?

You don't usually
give interviews at all, do you?

Let's say you turned up at
the right time. No, no, that's not fair.

Things need to be aired publicly.

I've read your stuff. It's very good.

I think I can trust you
to be fair and honest.

Perhaps you haven't been here
long enough to be corrupted.

Well, thank you. I hope I never will be.

Could I ask you,

if the Prime Minister
is experiencing discord in the cabinet,

wouldn't his best move be
to sack the dissidents,

get in some new people
and some fresh new policies?

You might think so, Mattie,
but in all fairness, it isn't so easy.

He's not absolutely certain
where the danger lies, for one thing.

And a sudden flurry of changes
might look like panic.

-That's the official view.
-But you don't agree with that, do you?

Of course I agree with it, Mattie.
I have to agree with it.

You, on the other hand, might feel that
if you were the captain of the Titanic,

you wouldn't be saying,
"Steady as she goes."

Should he...?

I don't know how to put this
in a way that you'll be able to answer.

Try.

If I were...

captain of the Titanic,

which of my senior officers
should I be worried about?

"Beware of an old man in a hurry.

Have you heard that phrase, Mattie?

Lord Billsborough.

But he's Collingridge's closest adviser.

Surely he can't still think
he could be party leader?

Not at his age, not from the Lords.

He doesn't want it for himself.

He wants to pull the strings.

He wants the party leadership
for one of his proteges.

You might think that.
I couldn't possibly comment.

-Michael Samuels?
-You might think that.

Lord Billsborough is setting up
Collingridge as an Aunt Sally

so that Michael Samuels
can take his place when the time comes.

You might think that.
I couldn't possibly comment.

And how do you feel about all this?

Oh, I'm Just the Chief Whip, Mattie.
My feelings are neither here nor there.

I look after morale and discipline
amongst the back-benchers,

keep them up to the mark,
listen to their problems,

help them out when I can,

administer some sharp kicks up
the backside when that seems indicated.

Just like a prefect,
head of house sort of thing.

I'm sorry. That sounds very cheeky.

Not at all.
That's exactly what it's like.

Everyone says you're very good at It.

I believe I am, Mattie.

I believe I am.

Thank you so much for being
so generous with your time,

-I really appreciate it.
-Not at all.

Well?

Interesting girl.

Clever.

-Not too clever?
-No, no.

Just clever enough, I should say.

I think she might be just
the little friend you need, Francis.

A political correspondent
with her way to make, I mean.

BIG BEN CHIMING

No, Prime Minister,
I haven't seen the papers yet. Yes.

"There was speculation last night

"that the Prime Minister
was unlikely to fight another election.

And that some senior ministers were
already manoeuvring for position

"in the event of
an early leadership struggle."

It's all very insubstantial,
Prime Minister. Someone's flying a kite.

Someone's bloody well making mischief,
Francis. Listen to this.

"Lord Billsborough, the Party Chairman,

"dismissed as nonsense any suggestion
of a leadership election in the offing.

"However, the Party Chairman would
be crucial during a leadership race.

"And Billsborough Is known
to be very close to Michael Samuels,

"the Environment Secretary,
who could be one of the contenders."

Dammit, Francis. This is 7fe Chronicle.
They're supposed to be our people.

Yes, you are quite right.
Will you leave this with me, Henry?

I'll get on to Greville Preston
and find out who's been telling tales

and if we don't get any Joy there,
we'll go straight to Ben Landless.

You're absolutely right.

We don't need this from 7/e Chronicle.
Leave it with me.

I'll put a bit of stick about.

Thank you, Francis. And Francis,
I'm very grateful for your support.

Not at all. Goodbye.

Now, then, Mr Stoat.

You seem to have got yourself
into a bit of a mess

and you haven't done a lot for the image
of the party, either, have you?

Er, no. No, Chief Whip. I'd like to say
how terribly sorry I am...

You should have thought of that before.
Can we do anything for him, Stamper?

Not easy, Chief Whip.

The sergeant is understandably reluctant
to believe our friend here

stopped his car to ask the way
to his own bloody constituency.

Dear God.

-I'm really awfully...
-Do shut up, Stoat.

-Sorry.
-I did persuade him to stretch a point.

He won't be proceeding.

Really? Oh, my gosh! I can't begin
to tell you how grateful...

All right, Stoat, you've been lucky.
Heard something else funny about you.

Heard you were thinking of abstaining

on the second reading
of the environment bill.

-What?
-Don't.

No. No, of course not.

All right, Stoat, take yourself off.
And try not to be such a damned fool.

And tf you must use whores, for
God's sake go to a decent knocking-shop

where they understand
the meaning of discretion.

-Stamper will give you a list.
-Yes, right.

Thank you very much. I'm so very...

I mean, if ever there's anything,
anything at all...

-Yes, yes, yes. Off you go now.
-Goodbye. And, well, uh,

thanks again.

What a frightful little man.

Where do they find them these days?

God knows.
If I had a dog like that, I'd shoot it.

Well, yes, quite.

-Roger O'Neill's in the outer office.
-Oh, yes.

I think I'll make this one
a private chat, Stamper.

Whatever you say.

Roger.

-Good to see you. Squash sometime?
-I'd like that very much.

-Roger.
-Good morning to you, Francis.

-Well, I'll be on my way.
-Yes, all right.

Have a seat, Roger.
Good of you to come in. Drink?

It's a bit early in the morning for me
but well, if you're offering...

-Whisky?
-Ah, sure. Why not?

Wanted to thank you for the good Job
you did for the party

in the run-up to the election.

There were one or two
who wanted to make you a scapegoat

but I'd have none of that.
And neither would the PM.

Good God, I hadn't realised
anyone was blaming me.

-You're not having one yourself?
-It is a bit early in the day for me.

You've been a bit of a bad lad,
haven't you, Roger?

-What?
-You've had your hand in the till.

Francis, you're joking!

Your expenses are paid
by Central Office, aren't they?

But you've been claiming
quite large sums

from the advertising agency as well.

-It's a bit naughty, Roger.
-Ah, that.

It's perfectly simple, Francis.

The accounting at Smith Square
is so slow.

If I'd been buying a few lunches, I
could wait months to get my money back.

It's so much simpler to get it
from the agency, don't you see?

I've never taken a single penny
in expenses

that wasn't absolutely legitimate,
Francis.

Not a single penny. And I swear that
to you on my mother's grave.

£22,370 in the last ten months,
I make it.

Uh, here we are.
Have a look at the figures.

Might be slightly out
but not by more than a tenner or so.

Bit steep for a few lunches,
wouldn't you say?

It's all so...

SNEEZING

Cocaine's awfully expensive stuff,
isn't it?

Is it worth it?
They say it makes a good man brilliant.

If that’s so, you must be a genius.

Francis, you must believe me.

I haven't got a problem.

I'm not addicted.

I just use it occasionally
for recreational purposes

and now and then
when I have to work late.

I understand, Roger. But there are not
many who would, are there?

And I know this sounds old-fashioned
but isn't it illegal?

-What are you going to do?
-Well, I know what we should do.

Write off the money as a bad debt
and toss you overboard.

But I suppose I must have
a soft spot for you.

I'm going to bail you out, Roger.
I'm going to save your bacon.

And in return I want
your absolute, unquestioning loyalty.

Yes. Yes, of course.

To me personally, not to the Chairman.

I need someone I can trust
to keep an eye on things

and help out in general.

-Anything, Francis. Anything at all.
-All right, Roger.

Now, listen to me very carefully.

Why are we consorting
with socialists tonight?

Isn't that against the rules
or something?

Not a bit of It.
Steve Kendrick's not bad.

We used to work together years ago.

He's going to be
very pleased with me tonight.

Bit of a flash git, don't you think?
Fancies himself.

-Fancies you, too.
-Everybody fancies me except you.

Here he comes. Teeth and tits.

One for you, and one for you.

-I gather you've got something for me.
-Yes.

How do you fancy being the star
of Prime Minister's Question Time?

Mr Kendrick!

Number six, sir.

I refer the Honourable Member
to the reply I gave some moments ago.

Mr Kendrick!

Will the Prime Minister
explain to the House

why he ts not going ahead with the
promised hospital expansion programme?

SHOUTING

I note the Honourable Member's
creditable concern

with the health service and would
remind him that under this government

the health service has enjoyed
an annual increase of 7%.

Seven percent, in real terms.

Furthermore, the health service has
benefited more than any other service

from our determination
to reduce inflation

and to operate
in a sensible and cost-efficient way.

-Answer the question!
-That is what I'm doing.

This government has made a commitment

to expand the hospital
building programme.

SHOUTING

It is not this government's practice
to discuss the specifics...

- SHOUTING
-It is not this government's practice

to discuss the specifics
of new spending plans

in terms of precise dates.

ALL SHOUTING

Order! Order!

-I refuse...
-Order!

-Order!
-I am not prepared...

-SHOUTING CONTINUES
-Order! Order!

I am not prepared...

-I refuse to...
-Order!

Order! Order! Order!

How In Christ's name
did that bloody bastard Kendrick know?

The cabinet didn't hear about it
till this morning.

That wouldn't have given him time.

It must have leaked out of
yesterday's cabinet committee meeting.

Peter McKenzie was very upset
about the cuts.

He would be, as Health Minster.

But I don't think he'd leak
to an opposition MP.

Then who did, Francis? I want him found.
I want an example made of the bastard.

I think it was someone
who wanted to make things difficult

for you personally.

That's why it was leaked to Kendrick
rather than the press.

I think we have to face the fact that
it may be someone very close to you.

Someone you've always trusted
and who now wants to break you.

Henry, I've just heard.

-I came straight over.
-Ah...

Later, Teddy, if you'd be so good.

I just have to chew over a few things
with Francis here.

Yes. Yes, of course. I'll, uh...

come back later, then.

Those of us who care for the nation's
defence have been astonished to hear

that confidential documents
have been left in a public house.

From whence they have
rather less surprisingly

found their way into the pages
of The Independent newspaper.

We have been gravely alarmed
to read in these documents

of huge, unnecessary
and positively dangerous cuts

In the Territorial Army establishment.

Does the Prime Minister understand
the damage that will be done

to the government's support
over the coming months?

Will the Leader of the House allow time

to debate and to reverse this decision?

ALL: Hear, hear!

I would remind
my right honourable friend

that to discuss the contents
of this stolen document

is tantamount to condoning
an act of common theft.

-Point of order, Mr Speaker!
-Point of order. Sir Jasper Grainger.

Would you not agree, Mr Speaker,

that not to discuss the content
of this stolen document

would be a breach of faith,

a betrayal by the government
of its most loyal supporters?

INAUDIBLE

Mr Speaker,
my right honourable friends and I

have listened carefully
to the mood of the House.

LAUGHTER

In the light of representations
put from all sides today,

the government,
which has always prided itself

on being a listening government...

LAUGHTER

Order!

The government will temporarily

rescind the cuts while it takes
a further look at the whole question.

ALL: SHOUTING Resign! Resign!

-Resign! Resign! Resign!
-Order! Order!

Mr Urquhart! Mr Urquhart!

Could you spare me
a few seconds, please?

Ah, Miss Mattie Storin. Yes, I think
I could find you a few seconds.

Let's go over there.

I've been following your work
with interest.

So has the Prime Minister,
though he's not quite such an admirer.

-He had a terrible day today.
-Not unknown

for a Prime Minister to change his mind.

Though we're not often privileged
to see him do it in public, eh?

Well, it'll all blow over, I dare say.

Will it? Two major leaks in less than
a month. Where are they from?

I don't know, my dear. I'm responsible
for the back-benchers, not the cabinet,

though I dare say
I'll be asked to find out.

The leaks are coming out of the cabinet?

And the Prime Minister Is ordering
an investigation

into his own closest colleagues?

You might think that.
I couldn't possibly comment.

Thank you.

All right! Don't tell me about it!
Do something about it!

That is exactly what is wrong
with this goddamn country.

Everyone wants to give you
their analysis

of what's wrong
and why nothing ever goddamn works!

Nobody wants to get off their butt
and make the goddamn thing work!

London! Jesus! I'd rather
run a business in the Solomon Islands!

Thoughts of a newspaper proprietor.

-He may be right. Oh, God!
-What are you working on?

It's a thing about the leaks.
Urquhart's leading the witch-hunt.

I do think he has a sort of...
I don't know,

magnetism about him.

Kissinger Syndrome.

The aphrodisiac effect of power.

-I guess that must be it.
-Not much chance for the likes of me.

Women don't exactly tremble

at the naked, unbridled domination
of the deputy editor.

Well, no.
You have got a nice face, though.

I don't know what's the matter with him,
Francis. I feel he's not listening.

As though he doesn't trust me any more.

He owes it all to you, Teddy.
Surely he recognises that.

But I know what you mean. I don't think
he trusts any of us any more.

It's very distressing, Francis.

How can we help the man
when he won't let us help him?

Well, I'll continue to put the fear
of God into the troops as long as I can.

But there comes a time,
we're nowhere near it yet, of course.

Yes, yes, yes, quite.

You will keep me informed,
won't you, Francis?

Now more than ever
he needs wise counsel.

Of course I will, Teddy. Goodbye, now.

I think Lord Billsborough's
starting to lose touch a bit.

Shame. Used to be a hell of
an operator in his day.

Well, work to do.

TELEPHONE RINGING

Well, yes. A couple of leaks are all
very well, but it takes more than that.

A big scandal, perhaps.

A political scandal.

Or a scandal about something
people really understand.

Sex. Or money.

£50,000, Mr Urquhart.

It's a very generous donation,
Mr Jhabwala.

We don't often see
such large sums in cash.

I'm a little old-fashioned, Mr Urquhart.

I prefer to trust cash
rather than cashiers.

And, uh, strictly speaking,

you should hand it to
the Party Treasurer, not to me.

Oh, but you are my Member of Parliament,
Mr Urquhart. I know you.

I trust you. Oh, I'm sure
the Party Treasurer is an excellent man

but you, Mr Urquhart,
you are my friend.

Well, I'm very touched, erm...

And no, I hope to gain nothing.

Except my wife and I would be thrilled
to meet the Prime Minister

if he should ever visit
the constituency.

I'm sure that can be arranged.

SNORTING

Accommodation address.

Three month payment tn advance.
That's fine.

-So you're working round here now, eh?
-Yeah, that's right.

-And the name is?
-Collingridge. C Collingridge.

Right.

I might, uh, might look you up myself
one of these days.

Do you specialise at all, like?

Yeah. Verbal abuse
and colonic irrigation.

-Bye, then.
-Bye.

-Mmm-hmm?
-Nasty little man.

-It was all right, though?
-I suppose so.

Why couldn't Charlie Collingridge
do it himself?

I mean, it's a bit of a waste of money

paying me 18 grand
to run errands, isn't it?

Come on, I'm supposed to be the brains
of this outfit.

You are. You are, I swear It.

Well, what's he want it for, anyway?
Don't tell me he's going on the game.

Hardly. PM's brother
needs to be careful.

Sure I don't know what it's for.
Spanking mags, for all I know.

-Using his real name?
-Well, ours is not to reason why.

We're doing a special favour.

The request comes from the very top
and we don't breathe a word to a soul,

-all right?
-Right.

-You wish to open the account with...
-£50,000.

-Excellent.
-In cash.

Excellent. A high-interest
current account, sir?

Well, no. I shan't need to
draw on it immediately.

Could I purchase some shares
through you?

But of course. It would be a pleasure.

Mendox Chemicals.

20,000. You should be able
to get them for about 240 pence.

Um, I'm rather pressed for time.
Could I leave that with you?

We should be able to confirm it for you
by four this afternoon, sir.

-Excellent. Thank you very much.
-Not at all, Mr Collingridge.

It's a pleasure.

Junior Minister of Health,
Mrs Makepeace.

With permission, Mr Speaker,
I'd like to make a statement.

The Department of Health, on the advice
of the Chief Medical Officer,

has today licensed three new drugs
for general use.

Cybernox, manufactured
by Mendox Chemical Company,

with general application in
the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis

and related diseases.

Charles Collingridge here.

You were kind enough to open an account
for me last week.

I'm afraid I've had to alter
my plans entirely.

The negotiations on the hotel in Turkey
have fallen through

and I'm flying back to Kenya
at the end of the week.

Well, can't be helped. Had a bit of luck
with those Mendox shares, though.

Should clear 9 or 10,000 on them.

Can you sell those today
at anything over 295?

And I'll come in tomorrow morning
to close the account.

Can you send a closing statement
to my London address?

Charles Collingridge,

216 Praed Street,

Thank you very much
for all your help. Goodbye.

-Not working this morning, Francis?
-Oh, yes, Elizabeth, I am working.

I'm working very well,
as a matter of fact.

Very good of you to come in, Humphrey.

I couldn't really get away and I didn't
feel comfortable holding all this money.

Fifty thousand?
What's he hoping to get out of it?

Five minutes alone with the PM, he says.

Bit more than the going rate, isn't it?

Well, I'll write to Mr Jhabwala today.
Chaps like him should be encouraged.

-Yes, indeed.
-And I'll see the PM is informed.

About time he heard a bit of good news.

BIG BEN CHIMING

CHIMING GROWS LOUDER

Mr Urquhart.

Good morning, Mattie.

I couldn't believe it
when you said "roof garden".

I'd no idea it was here, It's amazing!

Surprisingly few people know about it.
I like to keep it that way.

Good place to get away from the rabble.

So, what was it, Mattie?

Well, really, I just wanted to
thank you for all your help

over the last couple of months.

-You must be glad they're over.
-Well, we've known easier times.

And what makes you think the summer's
going to be any better for us?

What do you mean?

Can I say something in absolute
confidence, not even on lobby terms?

Yes. Yes, of course you can.

I've heard hints that the tabloids

are going to mount
a personal attack on the PM.

A particularly nasty one.
They're going to use his brother.

-His brother?
-Charles Collingridge.

Don't you know him? Well, between the
two of us, he's a bit of a liability.

Alcohol problem. Debts everywhere.

And when he's had too much to drink,

he's not too sure
of his sexual orientation.

Well, you see the problem.

If the PM disowns his brother,
he's a heartless bastard.

If he stands by him, he's a security
risk and God knows what else.

-That's how they'll play it.
-Why are you telling me?

Because I think you're a responsible
and honourable journalist.

Because I trust you. And,

well, because I think we're going
to need all the friends we can get.

There isn't any chance he might be
involved in something unsavoury

-with his brother, is there?
-Oh, no.

No, I'm sure there isn't.

He's fond of his brother
but he's not a complete fool.

You'd have to say that.
You'd have to cover up for him

even if you thought there was something.

Perhaps. But there isn't, is there?

He does seem to need a lot of
propping up, Henry Collingridge.

Well, that's all part of my Job.

And it's all worth it, wouldn't you say?

Well, since you ask, no. Because I
happen to think there's at least one man

who'd make a much better leader.

You might think that, Mattie.

I couldn't possibly comment.