All language subtitles for Unholy.Night.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

[cinematic melodic music]

- After dinner,

we can go sliding on
the ice, ooh, cookies!

- Why don't we let the
children pick theirs first?

- [Both] Thanks, Mom.

- Well, what your mother
hasn't told you two

is that I get the rest of them.

- Yeah, right.
- It's true!

- How about we put
some aside for Santa

and then you can fight
over what's left?

- Well, I'm bigger, so I'll win.

- Two of us, so we'll win.

- You guys probably would win,

okay, fine, you can have them.

- Let's not forget
about the stockings.

- Right.

Alright, little lady, can you
go under the stairs, please

and grab the stockings?

I'll guard your cookies
while you're gone.

- Okay, but don't
let Jenny have any.

- I promise.

[light melodic music]

- Oh, hello.

Why are you dressed like that?

[gasping]

Are you an elf?

♪ Silent night

♪ Holy night

♪ All is calm

♪ All is bright

♪ Round yon virgin

- Just put those over there.

Now the sink. Are you gonna
help me with the dishes tonight?

- [Jenny] Yes.

[footsteps running]

♪ Holy infant, so
tender and mild ♪

[footsteps running]

- Argh!

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

[clattering]

[stabbing squelches]

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

[stabbing squelches]

[ominous music]

[screaming]

[glass shattering]

♪ Silent night

[dark upbeat music]

[blowing wind]

["Silent Night" on harmonica]

[locker slams shut]

[background chattering]

- Looks like we have some fresh
meat in the house tonight.

- You mean old,
dying, death meat?

- Hi.
- Hi Lilly.

- Lilly, Mel's not in tonight,

so you actually have to pull
your own weight around here.

- Sure, Amanda,
whatever you need.

- She's not your
fucking boss, Lilly.

- I'm also here, bitches.

Merry Christmas though.

- Alright, well I have a
lot of things to do tonight,

so I need you to take our new
patient down for his x-rays.

- Yeah, sure, I can do that.

- Lilly, she's taking
advantage of you.

- No, she's not.

- Whatever, I'm not gonna
do all of your work.

- She's being a team player.

- Whatever, man.

- It's really okay.

- I've got a lot
of things to do.

- You mean like
fudging your resume,

so you can get the new
supervisor position?

- [Amanda] I don't
need to fudge anything,

'cause I'm super qualified.

- There's a supervisor position?

- Yep, and Amanda's
not gonna get it.

- Oh, and you think
you're gonna get it?

Yeah, I don't think so.
- Don't want it!

- Oh, she is so annoying.

You should go, he's been
waiting for a while.

- You're welcome.

[eerie music]

[door creaking]

Hi, Mr. Iblis, I'm Lilly,

I'm here to take
you for your x-ray.

[coughing]

- That certainly
took you long enough.

- Yeah, I'm sorry about that,
we're short staffed tonight.

At least you got to wait

in the nicest wing of
the whole hospital.

- Hm.

I see you're stuck
here on Christmas Eve.

- I volunteered.

Um...

Your old residence
hasn't sent anything yet.

- Well, it doesn't
surprise me in the least,

the place was run like
a Calcutta whorehouse.

[chuckling]

- I'll call them
after Christmas.

So what brings you here with us?

- Well, I was told
the nurses are cute

[grunts]

and uh, I haven't
finished dying yet.

- I'm sorry.

- Hm, there's nothing
to be sorry for,

I've just worn
out this old body.

- Well, I'll take very
good care of you tonight.

Do you want me to hold that?
[ominous music]

- No, no, I think I'll
just hang onto it myself.

- Okay.
- For a while.

- Alright, well
let's get going then.

[background chattering]

Beautiful album.

- This album is even
older than I am,

a friend of mine gave it to
me once, hm, and then he died.

I keep it on as a
bit of a personal

Christmas tradition actually.

- I'm sorry about your friend.

- Oh, don't be so damn
sorry, everybody dies,

that's the one thing that all
of you people have in common.

- What are those?

- Well, I was never really
one for photographs,

so I used it as a kind
of Christmas scrapbook

and I started out collecting
stories and news items.

- [Lilly] I think that's lovely.

- Ha.

That's what most people think,

when they consider Christmas

filled with happiness
and family and gifts,

but in reality it's much, much
more interesting than that.

- You know what? You're right,
I remember reading something

about how the suicide
rate goes up like crazy

around the holidays,

I guess it's more
than just crappy gifts

and couples getting engaged.

- Yeah, well fuck those people.

[laughing]

- You're such a
Devil, Mr. Iblis,

most people love that
traditional stuff.

- Well, thank you, but it
does depend on your tradition,

have you ever heard
of the Reed family?

- [Lilly] I don't think I have.

- Ah, well they were
a lovely couple,

intelligent, amusing,
good cooks too,

[ominous music]
it really is too bad.

- What happened?

- Well, let's just
put it this way,

I really don't wanna bore
you with my old stories.

- Oh, we've got a few minutes
before we hit radiology,

let me have it.

- Well, okay, but I'll
give you the short version.

It all started years
ago on Christmas Eve.

[ominous music]

[lively jazz music]

- [John] I can't
find my black socks!

Have you seen my black socks?

- Wear whatever socks you
want, they won't care!

Why do you only own one
pair of black socks anyway?

- I have one pair of
black socks and one tie,

why would I need any more,

when have I ever
needed to dress up?

- God, you don't need a tie
to impress my parents, John,

they're going to love
you, because I love you.

Besides, you can't wear a
striped tie with a plaid shirt.

- What?

- [Iris] That is a
crime against nature.

- You know, you keep saying
they're gonna love me

and then you keep telling me
how old-fashioned they are,

are they gonna be pissed
that we're living together?

- Oh, my God, it's not
that they're old-fashioned,

it's just they have
certain traditions,

that are important to them
and they're important to me.

Just relax, it'll be fun.

You know what, I've an idea.

- What?

Wait, no, no, no,
no, no, Iris, no.

- Come on, it'll be fun!

We've only got a gram left
anyway, we'll split it.

- You know, last
time we did this,

I watched a candle
burn for six hours,

I was convinced it was, don't,

I thought it was dripping
the New Testament.

- Oh, okay, okay, okay,
now you have to do it,

because that'd mean
that I have a problem

and you're an enabler.

- Oh, fine.

Oh, ah, those taste like feet.

Um...

Okay, you know what, just
keep me away from any mirrors,

'cause the last thing I
want is to be tripping balls

in front of your family.

- Deal, let's go!
- Okay.

[psychedelic music]

[laughing]

[siren blaring]

- Hey, you kids been
drinking tonight?

[car door closes]

- Oh, my God,
Arthur, how are you?

- I'm doing good, keeping busy,
protecting the neighborhood,

rescuing cats from
trees, the usual.

It's so good to see you.

I was actually just talking
to your dad this morning.

- Oh, my God, we're
on our way there now!

- Yeah.

- Oh, Arthur, this is John.

[clearing throat]

- Nice to meet you, John.
- Same.

- Arthur and I grew up together.

- We sure did, hey, take
good care of her, John.

She's the uh, she's
the one that got away.

- Okay.
- Really though,

I'll throw you in jail. [laughs]

No one will ever find
you. [maniacal laugh]

[Iris laughs]

- Okay, you're hilarious,
Arthur, we've gotta go, bye.

- Have fun, John!

- I'm really glad I got to meet
your policeman ex-boyfriend,

while on shrooms.

- We were bound to run
into someone I know anyway,

this place is like one big
family, always has been.

- Speaking of which, any advice

before you throw me in with
your family high as a kite?

- Yes, don't call my dad, sir,
he hates that, call him Frank

and don't mention my
sister's ex-husband either.

Oh, and don't even try
to talk to my Aunt Marge,

she is, she's crazy, if
she does talk to you,

just be polite and agree,

even if it's alarmingly
racist. [laughs]

[light Christmas music]

- [Rose] "Misery?"

- Oh, oh, "Alive!"

- Dying peacefully
in your sleep!

[vinyl record scratching]

- That's not a
real movie and no.

- Ooh, "Sleepless in Seattle!"

- Yes, yes!
- Oh!

- I love that Tom Hanks, he's
so handsome and personable,

[door opening]

like a milkman.

- Don't be weird!

- So are you ready?

- Not at all.

- Oh!
- Baby!

- Hi Mom!
- Oh!

And you must be John, look
at that bone structure!

- Uh, Thank you?
- Come in, come in.

[laughing]

[lively jazz music]

- Hi, Frank and Rose, I've
heard a lot about you.

- So formal, in
our family we hug.

Now come on in.

Emma, can you bring John a beer?

- Yes, dear, oh, and I've got
some great finger foods too.

- Oh, excellent.

So what do you do, John?

- Uh...

- Oh, cheers, thank you.
- Oh.

- Uh, I work at the
mall at a music store,

I'm the assistant store manager.

- Very cool.

You look surprised,
like you expected me

to be disappointed
you're not a doctor.

- Truthfully I was
a little worried.

- Ah, I love music,

I'll show you my record
collection after dinner,

it's quite the
extensive library,

everything but Sinatra,

ever since the war, I just
can't listen to Old Blue Eyes.

- [John] You were in Vietnam?

- Oh, you bet, 1st
Battalion 9th Marines,

the old one nine,
[ominous music]

you know what they called us?

- No, sir.
- Don't call me sir.

- [John] No, Frank.

- They called us
The Walking Dead,

highest killed in action rate

in all of Marine Corps history.

[beer can clicking]

One day we were down
in the An Lao Valley

just before
Operation White Wing,

Sinatra's playing on the radio,

my buddy, Hershel, he
had this little radio

and he was always playing
either Old Blue Eyes or Presley.

We were waiting for the
other units to show up,

so we could start to
evacuate the villagers,

before the air strikes,

when out of nowhere our guys
started getting ripped in half.

[eerie music]

[sighs] I went to grab
my rifle and I slipped

and fell in the mud and Hershel
grabbed my arm to help me up

just as a grenade
landed right beside us.

Hershel didn't think twice,
he jumped right on it,

when I woke up, I was
buried in the mud,

left for dead

and covered in bits
and pieces of Hershel.

- Hors d'oeuvres!

[lively jazz music]
[laughing]

- I'm just kidding with you,

I own a barber
shop down the road,

I haven't fired a
gun once in my life.

[squelching]
- Whoa!

[psychedelic music]

Oh.

- [Frank] You okay, son?

- Yeah, I'm really
sorry, I'm so sorry, I--

- It's okay, it's okay,
it's an old carpet anyway,

it's fine, really.
- Oh, okay.

I'm sorry, I'm just gonna use
the bathroom real quick, so.

- Of course, it's up the
stairs on your left, go ahead.

- [John] Okay.

- No, no mirror, okay.

- I am tripping the hell
out, like I'm just, yeah.

- Well, it's fine, it's fine,

it's just a story
my dad told you.

- Yeah.
- Everything is going great.

- I mean, I just spilled beer
all over your mom's carpet

and I just, I...

- It's going great, okay,
it's just the drugs.

- Well, yeah.
- Relax, relax,

drink some water, it'll be fine.

- Okay.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

- You know my dad has a
really twisted sense of humor,

but he is a sweetheart,
I promise, I promise,

okay, just go with it.
- Okay okay.

- No, no, no, no mirror!
- No.

- [Iris] Come on, let's
go, let's go, come on.

[lively jazz music]

- [Emma] Kids, dinner's on!

Iris, bring your aunt.
- Okay, Mom!

Can you help Aunt Marge get up,

she has trouble standing, okay?

- Yeah, yeah. No problem.
- Thank you.

I'm gonna help my mom
and Rose with the food.

- Okay.

Okay, Aunt Marge,
time for dinner.

Aunt--
- Oh!

I'm so hungry, I could
eat a whole baby.

- Ha ha, Yeah.

- I'm just kidding,

the bones would get stuck
in my teeth. [laughs]

[John laughs nervously]

- [Aunt Marge] Oh dear,
oh dear, oh yes, oh yes.

- [John] Oh, thanks, Frank,

I'm gonna stick to water
for now, thanks though.

- Emma, can you bring
this boy some water?

He can't handle
the booze. [laughs]

- [Emma] Okay, Frank!

- So John.
- Hm?

- I don't know if
Iris told you or not,

but our family is
very big on tradition.

- [John] Yeah, she
did tell me that.

- So I'll just warn you then,

we do a lot of organ
foods for Christmas,

if you don't like something,
don't feel forced to eat it.

- [John] I'm sure I'll love
it all, it smells great

and besides my family's
Scottish, so I've had haggis.

- [Frank] Great, that's perfect!

- I had Scottish once.

- [Emma] That's
nice, Aunt Marge.

- He was delicious!

[eerie music]

- So John,

what Christmas tradition
does your family celebrate?

- Oh, well my family's
pretty spread out,

so my dad spends Christmas
with my step-mom and their kids

and my mom goes on
cruises in the Caribbean.

- Hm.
- Yeah.

- Well, that's very sad, John,

I'm glad you're able to
spend it with us then,

although not everyone
has been so happy

to share in our traditions.

- Frank.

- [Frank] I'm sorry, honey.

- No, Mom, it's okay, I'm okay.

- John, Rose and her husband,
Steven just recently broke up.

- [Emma] Frank, enough!

Enough.

- Mom, it's okay,
I'm fine, Dad's right

You know, he just didn't
understand me or our family.

- So of course I had to
kill him with my bare hands.

[laughing]

- [Aunt Marge] He's in the
freezer in the basement.

- Dad, stop it,
you're scaring John.

- It's not like we're
killing prostitutes

and burying them in the woods,
we're just eating people.

- Dad!

[laughing]

- [Frank] Iris, you picked one
with a little baby bladder.

[water running]

- I'm not high.

[slap]

Sweet, I'm not high!

Let's see.

Hey stranger.

- I am so sorry, are
you feeling better?

- Yeah, I feel great.

- I'm really sorry
about my weird family.

- Oh, they're not weird,

they're just kind of
an acquired taste.

- [Emma] John, could
you get the pies

from the freezer, please?

It's in the basement,
bottom of the stairs,

around the corner on the right.

- Sure, no problem.
- Thank you!

[ominous music]

- Ha, still not high!

Sweet.

[freezer door clattering]

[freezer door creaking]

[sinister music]

[tense music]

[panicked breathing]

- John, what's going on,
what's wrong, what's going on?

- Iris, come on, we've gotta go!

- [Iris] What?

One second, I'm putting
away the dishes!

- There's a body
in the basement,

you really are eating people.

- Well, yeah, of course we
are, we thought you knew.

- We thought you
understood our traditions.

- Oh no, he's just like Steven.

- No, he's not, he understands,

you understand, right, John?

[Aunt Marge laughing]

- John, now put that down,
let's talk about this.

We thought you knew, we
thought Iris had told you.

- Steven's in the basement,
we're saving him for Easter.

[laughing]
[squelching]

[ominous music]
[laughing]

- I'm so sorry, baby.

- I thought you'd understand.

- [John] I'm sorry.

- Get off my daughter!
- No, get off me!

Get off me, you, get off me!

Iris, get off me, you murderer!

- You son of a bitch.

- I'm calling the cops!

- Open the damn door, John!

- Fuck, no!
- Open the door!

- [John] I'm calling the
cops and you're going away!

- Open the damn door,
John, you stabbed Iris!

- [John] Yeah, well you're
gonna fucking eat her next!

- No, I won't, are you
crazy, open the damn door!

- You fucking cannibal!

I'm calling the cops!

- I don't think that's
a good idea, John.

- Who to start with, huh, Frank?

Call an ambulance!

[footsteps descending staircase]

[water running]

[sobbing]

[siren blaring]

[sobbing]

- He's upstairs, Arthur.
- Okay, thanks, Frank.

[knocking]

John, it's the police, can
you open the door, please?

- They're eating people,
they're actually eating people.

- Okay, John, you're in shock.

- Okay, there's a body in
the basement in the freezer,

I'll take you to it, okay.

- Okay, okay, you have
to cooperate though.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

- What are you doing?

- I'm putting you into custody
for your own safety, John.

- No, there's a body
in the basement,

it's in the freezer,
I'll show you!

- Of course there is, John,

now I told you, I protect
this neighborhood,

we have our own traditions

and we don't expect outsiders
like you to understand that.

I don't know why the
Parkers keep on insisting,

but this will be the last
time, I assure you that.

Relax, John.
- No, no!

Help, help!
- Shut up, John.

- [John] They're eating people!

- You're under arrest for
the murder of Iris Parker!

- What?
- Anything you say,

et cetera, et cetera,
get the fuck in the car!

- They're fucking eating people!

They're fucking eating people!

Argh, argh, stop, they're
fucking eating people!

Argh, argh!

- What more can you tell
us about this incident?

- Well, I think
it's just important,

that this serves
as a good lesson,

that even in a tight knit
community like this one,

drugs come into play,

and turn a whole family's
life upside down.

The suspect was found

with very high levels
of various substances,

that we presume he took
just prior to the incident.

- Quite scary.

As you were taking him away,
I thought I heard him yelling

something like,
"They're eating people."

- Ha, ha! Yeah,
who knows, right?

Kids, say no to drugs.

[eerie music]

[singing]

- They're eating people!

- Oh, that poor girl.

Did that really happen?

- [Mr. Iblis] Pretty
certain that it did.

- Ugh, teenagers.

- Yeah, my exact thought.

- And you knew them?

- I knew them very, very well.

- That's so sad.

- I heard that he got
gang raped in prison.

- [laughs] You're terrible.

- Did my little
story cheer you up?

- Yeah, it really did
actually. [laughing]

[mellow music]

[humming "Santa Claus
is Coming to Town"]

- The Geezer Wing is
practically empty tonight,

it's so fucking boring.

[sighing] The only
dinosaurs left are the ones

whose families don't
give a shit about them.

Then again, that's
why I have a job.

I'm going for a drink tonight
after work, do you wanna come?

- Are bars even open
on Christmas Eve?

- The good ones are.

- No, thank you.

- Your loss, it'll be a
healthy mix of fun and sadness.

- I gotta see my mom tonight.

- Bring her.

[whooshing]

- Why don't you just
ask Amanda to go?

- No, she always booty calls
her ex on Christmas Eve,

now that's sad.

- It won't be sad when
I become your supervisor

and give you all the
worst fucking shifts.

- Clearly I already
have the worst shifts.

- I don't think it's
sad, everyone has

- Nobody asked you.

- Don't be a bitch!

- I just, I just meant that--

- Why are we still
talking about this?

Lilly, I need you to take
the trash downstairs.

- The trash?
- Yes, the trash.

- That's not her job!

- Well, the
janitor's off tonight

and I'm pretty sure leaving
a whole bunch of garbage bags

in the hallway is some sort
of health code violation!

- Why can't he do it?

- 'Cause I'm on break, bitch!

- Oh, come on!

- It's okay, I'll do it.

[ominous music]

[deep rumble]

[sinister music]

[ominous music]

[machine beeping]

Mr. Iblis, are you lost?

- No dear,

I'm just exploring this
wonderful and interesting place.

- I'm afraid there's
not much to see here,

just more rooms in
need of renovation.

- No, you're quite wrong,

imagine more than a century

of the dead, the dying, the
disturbed all walking the halls.

I imagine there's some pretty
delicious secrets here.

- I could tell you a few,

but they'd be about
the other nurses.

- Oh, they do seem
like an awful lot.

- Not all of them.

[ominous music]

- Has something frightened you?

- How did you...

I guess, I hate going in
there, it creeps me out.

- Do you suppose it's haunted?

- I don't know.

- You have every right

to be frightened of
the dead, you know.

Have you ever heard of the
tale of Drunk Dead Debbie?

Hm, this is the one that
you might want to relate

to your friend at
the front desk,

before she ties one on tonight.

[haunting music]

[audience applauding]

- Sisters & Misters is
coming back for season six

and we need you, this time
the Misters will be choosing

who they wanna spend
their lives with

and the Sisters will be
competing for their affections.

Do you have what it takes

to capture the hearts
of Dan and Derek,

our eligible Misters
for this season?

Make a video of
you and your Sister

and tell us why you
deserve to be on the show.

We wanna see your
personality, your charm

and any other assets
that make you stand out.

[phone ringing]

- Yo!
- Are you watching this?

- Uh, Yeah, I can't believe
they picked Connor and Cole

over Tim and Chris.

- Tim has the most
amazing six-pack.

- Hm-mm.

- But that's not what
I'm talking about,

the casting call, did
you see the commercial?

- Yeah, those brothers
are fucking hot.

- And we're two hot sisters,
we should totally make a video!

- Are you serious?

When would we have time?

We leave for Christmas
Break with Eva in two days.

- That's perfect, we
could bring our camera,

our makeup and our
best push-up bras.

We'll show them that while
we're ready to settle down,

we're still party
girls at heart.

- Alright, let's do it!
- Yes!

[light Christmas music]

- Hey, you guys,
it's almost Christmas

and this is our annual tradition
with our best friend, Eva,

she's gorgeous, smart and funny

and she'd probably be
better at this show than us,

but she doesn't have a sister.

- You can't say that,
even if it it true.

We're trying to
sell ourselves here.

- Hey, you ladies coming in

or are you gonna stay
out in the cold all day?

Strawberry daiquiri?

- Yes, please.

- Oh, I can't believe how
nervous this is making me,

I'm gonna need many,
many drinks tonight.

- Who are you kidding?

You have many, many
drinks most nights.

- You guys are gonna
film all weekend?

Do I even get a say in this?

I mean, it is my place and all.

- Did you see Dan and Derek?

Totally worth making a tape for.

- Hm.

You said this thing has
night vision, right?

I think our audition tapes
will really stand out,

if we do our own after
dark confessionals.

It's a huge part of the show.

- Chill, you lush, okay,
once you get that set up,

then we can get going

on our ladies night
of drunken debauchery!

[cheering]

- Yeah!

[upbeat Christmas music]

- [All] Cheers!

- Okay, you lushes,
if you're gonna do

your after dark confessional
thing, you'd better get going.

- Ooh, me first!

Okay, here we go.

I've always had a crush
on Katie's ex, Ryan,

but don't worry, bros before hos

or whatever the
female equivalent is.

But sometimes I still think
about him when I'm alone.

- Okay.

Huh, there's no
other way to say it,

I'm a dirty girl,

I will try anything,

Dan and Derek would
like that, right?

Oh shit, I mean, what
if they both like me?

The show will let
you do that, right?

I should probably delete this.

[soft Christmas music]

- Holy shit!

I am drunk.

Which one of you lushes
brought the 151 rum?

- That's Sarah, I
can't stomach it,

you can literally
start a fire with it

and my sister drinks it.

- Are you two done
complaining yet?

Let's open presents.
- Ooh!

- Alright, well I'm
gonna be traditional

and I'm not gonna open
mine till tomorrow morning,

but you guys can have yours.

- Thank you.

[gasping]

It's beautiful!

I love it, thank you.

- [Eva] You're welcome.

- Oh, my God, Eva!

- [Eva] I overheard you talking

about how much you
love those movies.

- Wait, what?

Seriously?
- Yeah.

- "Die Hard?"

[sighing]

- The heart wants
what the heart wants

and my heart wants
young Bruce Willis

in the best
Christmas movie ever.

- You guys are my best friends,
I love you guys so much.

- Okay, break it up. [chuckling]

- Alright, oh, I've
been sitting too long,

my ass is so numb.

Okay, who wants wine?

- [Sarah] Who would even
put a picture like that?

- I know, like with a bird.
- I know, who does that?

Who wants to look at a bird?

- [Eva] Hm, so nice.

- Hm.
- Ooh!

- He's cute.
- Hm-mm.

- Look at him.
- Yeah.

- Oh, he's in a
picture with a girl?

- Oh yeah, hm.

- Is it his sister,
is it a girlfriend?

Oh, what about him?

- Hm, he's okay.
- Yeah, he's got a beard,

never trust a guy with a beard.

- I know, you never know what
they look like underneath.

Oh, look at, oh!

- [Katie] You're as
bad as Drunk Debbie.

- You mean Drunk Dead Debbie.

- Who are you two talking about?

- I got this one.

[light Christmas music]

Debbie was nice but nerdy,

she didn't have
a lot of friends,

so was always trying to impress.

They say that one year at
her office Christmas party,

she had too much to drink.

This pack of she-wolves

decided to take advantage
of the situation,

instead of helping Debbie
and getting her a taxi,

they decided to see just how
drunk they could get her.

They kept giving her shot
after shot after shot,

they encouraged her as
she stumbled around,

they laughed as she
hit on her boss,

they chanted her name
for every shot she took.

Then just like
that, it was over,

the sickness hit her
like a ton of bricks.

They laughed as she
stumbled to the bathroom,

no one even cared to follow her,

she puked in the toilet,
then passed out on the floor,

so out of it, she
couldn't even wake up,

she ended up drowning
in her own vomit.

They say her spirit is angry

and a group of three
women can summon her,

all we need to do
is say her name

and take a shot three times

and she will appear.

- Why the fuck would
we wanna summon

a pissed off ghost
covered in puke?

- Okay, all jokes
aside, Sarah's right,

we shouldn't mess
with stuff like this.

- Oh, don't be a wuss.

Plus it's a pretty good excuse
to have three more shots.

[light Christmas music]

- [All] Drunk Dead Debbie!

Drunk Dead Debbie!

Drunk Dead Debbie!

- Oh man, you guys
promised me a ghost.

[electric crackling]
[gasping]

[ominous music]

[laughing]

- [Eva] Oh wow, you
can't plan that shit.

- [Sarah] Ugh,
what's that smell?

One of you two has
really stinky burps.

- [Katie] Okay,

let me find the camera
and use the night vision,

just try to find
the breaker box.

[sinister haunting music]
- What?

Do you see something?

- [Katie] Guys, there's
someone behind you.

[laughing]

- You almost had us there.

Stop fucking around.

- [Katie] I'm not kidding!

- Ooh, Drunk Dead Debbie

here to make sloppy
lady love to you.

- Ew, I am not having my
first lesbian experience

with a pissed off loser ghost.

[screaming]

[thudding]
- Leave her alone!

Stop, no!

[stabbing squelch and flesh rip]

[screaming]

- [Eva] Ah, Ah, no, no!

No, no!

[sobbing]

Oh, my God, we're gonna die.

- [Katie] Okay, sh!

- We're gonna die.
- No, no, no!

- [Eva] We're gonna die!

- It's okay, okay, okay, okay.

You're okay, it's
okay, okay, okay.

Here, take this.

It's okay, okay, keep recording.

Somebody, somebody killed
Sarah, I don't know who,

it's all fucked up.

What do we do now?

Shit, okay, okay,

we need to get the
lights back on.

- We can't, we can't!
- No, sh, it's okay.

- No!
- We need,

we need to see.
- No.

- We need to see, we need
to turn the lights back on,

- I can't.
- so I'm gonna go,

okay, it's okay.

- Don't go.
- I have to go.

It's okay, it's okay,
look at me, look at me.

[sobbing]

[heavy breathing]

[ominous music]

Fuck!

[gasping]

Oh God, you're
alive, okay, okay.

I need to turn the
lights back on, okay,

I'll be right back, I promise.

It's okay.

[heavy breathing]

[gasping]

Fuck!

[suspenseful music]

- My God, please, no!

Please, please, I'm so sorry!

Argh!

[choking]

[thudding]

- [Katie] Oh, my God.

- It hurts so bad.

Help me.
- Okay.

It's gonna be okay,
we're gonna get help,

but we have to get out of here.

- I don't think I can
make it, I'm so dizzy.

- Okay, don't say that!

Can you stand?

Okay.

[eerie screeching]
- Run!

[sinister haunting music]

- We didn't do anything to you!

You almost killed my sister!

- Katie, no!

I told you to run.

I'm sorry those girls
were mean to you,

but do you know what,
you fucking deserved it!

Nobody forced those
drinks down your throat,

you just wanted to
impress those girls!

You're ruining people's lives,

because you have
no social skills,

you stabbed me in
the fucking eye,

because you're a loser
that has no friends!

[gasping]

[stabbing squelch]

[blood dripping]

[heavy thud]

- No!

Ah!

[grunting and panting]

No!

No!

[coughing]

No, please, we were
just having fun,

we didn't mean anything by it.

Just like you, I drank too much,

maybe, cough,

maybe, maybe I could
be your friend?

[cracking thud]

[sinister music]

[retching]

[thick splashes]

[Debbie sobbing]

- Oh, my God!

- Definitely not God's work.

- May I?

- Don't you have to
be somewhere soon?

- I'd rather sit here and
listen to these stories,

it makes me feel better,

well, that my Christmas
isn't the worst there is.

- Hm, well, Christmas is a
strange time of year, isn't it?

People celebrating the
birth of their savior

by giving each other gifts, hm,

and he wasn't even
born on the 25th.

- He wasn't?

- The date of his
birth was changed

to coincide with an already
existing Pagan holiday.

- So they just stole
some other holiday?

- Well, it's amazing what
people are capable of.

They follow blindly,

they love blindly

and they destroy blindly.

[ominous music]

- Yeah, pretty crazy.

- Time to see your mother?

- Yeah, oh, soon.

I always spend
Christmas Eve with her.

- That sounds lovely.

- No, it's usually not.

- You're a bright young woman

and I'm sure that she's
very, very proud of you.

Thank you, little lady,
you've given me hope,

and yeah, Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas.

[haunting music]

- What are you doing?

- I'm changing.

- Oh, I can see that,

but you didn't check with me
to see if you could leave.

- My shift's over.

- Well, you know we're on
a skeleton staff tonight

and sometimes you've got to
chip in just a little bit more.

- But I'm already late

and my mom's gonna be
really mad, if I'm...

- I don't care, Lilly,
I'm in charge tonight,

not your mommy.

You should check with me
to see if you could leave.

- But I have plans
with my mother.

- So?

- Can I please go?

- Did you finish
all of your rounds?

- Yes.

- Well, I guess you
can go for the night.

You're welcome, Merry
Christmas, Lilly!

- Lilly!

Lilly, hold up, hey!

- I'm done.
- Yeah, I heard.

Listen, you've gotta stop
taking her shit like that,

it does something to a person.

- Maybe I should
become supervisor.

- Ha ha! Yeah,
don't count on it.

But look, you'd do a better
job than she would, okay.

Merry Christmas, Lilly.

[light music]

[sighing]

- Finally, you made it!

Do you know what time it is?

- [Lilly] Hi, Mom.

- Come in, come in.

I was worried
something happened.

- [Lilly] Nothing happened,
I just got hung up at work.

- [Lilly's Mom] Dinner's
been ready for half an hour.

- [Lilly] I'm sorry, Mom,
I thought I'd be on time.

- [Lilly's Mom] That's okay,

I've been keeping
everything warm.

Next year try to get
the whole night off,

then you'll be able
to make yourself

a little more presentable.

- I'll try.

[ominous music]

- She made that in kindergarten,

isn't it beautiful?

You go get washed up,
I'll put on dinner.

- Everything's delicious, Mom.

- Turkey's a bit dry, I
should've taken it out earlier,

instead of waiting for you.

- I still think it's good.

- You should have
higher standards.

- The place looks great,

I remember I used to help Dad
decorate at the old house.

- Don't talk about your father.

- It's okay to talk about him.

- No, it's not.

- So I might be
getting a promotion.

- That's nice.

- It'd be a supervisor position,

I think it'd be
really good for me,

you know, to push myself.

- Good.

- Not that you care or anything?

- I don't care?

I care more about you than
anything in the world.

- You never show it.

- You have no idea
what I do for you,

what I continue to do for you.

- Well, you just don't
sound happy for me,

I'm a nurse, Mom,
that's a real job

and you act like I work
on a street corner.

- I'm happy for you,
Lilly, I'm very glad

that they might be giving
you a promotion at work.

[alarm clock ringing]

It's time.

- Mom, can we please not?

- Lilith, we're not gonna
have this conversation

year after year.

- I just don't--

- Lilly, I ask very
little of you, very little

and you continue to fight
me on this year after year!

I'm a goddamn saint for
putting up with this shit!

Now go to the closet.

[suspenseful music]

- No.

- I'm sorry?

- No, I'm an adult now, Mom,

I won't keep doing
everything that you say, ah!

- After everything you've done,

I ask you for one
thing and it's a no?

- No, Mom.

No, Mom,

please don't do this.
- I do this for you,

you ungrateful bitch!

- No, Mom, please, no.

[lock clicking]
[banging on door]

Mom, let me out, let me out!

Please, please!

Mom, please.

[sobbing]

[electricity buzzing]

Fuck.

[eerie haunting music]

Oh shit, I can't believe
she still has you.

[footsteps approaching]

Mom, you can let me
out now, I'm thirsty!

- [Mannequin] She doesn't care.

- Yes, she does.

- [Mannequin] You're
so full of shit.

She doesn't care about you.

- You don't know that.

- [Mannequin] You think
she does this for you?

- I don't know
why she does this.

- [Mannequin] Because she
likes it, it gets her off.

- Oh, shut up.

- [Mannequin] Oh, she's probably
sitting in the living room

fingering herself right now

thinking about guys
running a train, oh yeah!

- Alright, enough!

That's my mother we're
talking about here,

have some decency.

- [Mannequin] Exactly, your
mother is supposed to love you

and buy you presents
for Christmas,

not lock you in a closet.

- You think I don't know that?

Do you know what it's
like to be locked in here

year after year like
some kind of freak?

Kids at school used to tell me
all about their Christmases,

you know, how they would spend
time together as a family,

open presents, leave milk
and cookies out for Santa,

tell each other
stories, sing songs.

[ominous music]

- [Mannequin] Give me
a break. [laughing]

- Ooh, it's still better

than being locked
in a goddamn closet!

- [Mannequin] Think it
might be a gay thing?

Keeps putting you in a closet?

- Oh!

- [Mannequin] You're a
little small for a bull dyke.

The Flannel Brigade!
- I'm done talking.

- [Mannequin] Don't
you ever ever get tired

of seeking for her approval?

Or trying to earn
her respect or love?

- Hey, if you were alive,
I would fucking kill you!

- [Mannequin] Are you sure
it's me that you wanna kill?

Oh, come on, we both know
that she deserves it.

- She doesn't deserve that.

- [Mannequin] She just
dragged you by your hair

and locked you in a closet,

you, a grown woman.

- Yeah, she's a piece of
shit, but she's my mother.

- [Mannequin] That's
exactly why she deserves it.

- No, no, we're not
killing anybody.

- [Mannequin] Hey, I'm not
the one who brought it up.

- Yes, you did, this whole
murder thing, it's all you!

- [Mannequin] Whatever,
I like it in this closet.

It wouldn't be very hard to do,

Dad's old tools are in
that box over there,

you could use those
to pop the lock,

it wouldn't be very hard at all.

You know deep down
it's what you want.

- I can't do that.

- [Mannequin] But we both know

that you're more than capable.

- Okay, I won't do that.

- [Mannequin] Fine, I
guess I'll just see you

here next year, oh,
and the one after that

and the one after that

and the one after that
and the one after that

and the one after that
and the one after,

how long do humans live?

The one after that, the one
after that, the one after that,

the one after that, I don't
have to worry about dying

and the one after that
and the one after that,

how long do you think it--
[screaming]

[smashing]

- Lilly!

[ominous music]

Lilly?

Come out, Lilly, there's
nothing to worry about,

just do as your mother says.

[wood creaking]

Lilly?

[wood creaking]

Lilly?

[ornament clanks on the ground]

[heavy breathing]

[suspenseful music]

- Argh!

[Stabbing squelch]

[flesh ripping]

[groaning]

[blood pouring and dripping]

[squishy thud]

- [Mannequin] Well,
that...that just happened.

- Yep.

- [Mannequin] How's it feel?

[heavy sigh]

- I need a drink.

[mellow Christmas music]

[coughing]

Oh.

- [Mannequin] Nothing
like a stiff drink

after murdering a
loved one, am I right?

Yeah, I'm right.

- You know what, I
feel really good.

- [Mannequin] Hm-mm.

- It's like this giant
weight has just been lifted.

It's better than sex.

- [Mannequin] Yeah, I
wouldn't know, no genitals.

[laughing]

- I wouldn't either.

- [Mannequin] Yeah,
let it all hang out!

- You were so right.

- [Mannequin] I'm always right.

You should listen to me more.

- I'm trying to say thank
you, you pompous ass.

- [Mannequin] I'm not pompous,
I would say self righteous.

[sighing]

- [Lilly] Will you please
just accept my thanks?

- [Mannequin] You're welcome.

- Hm, there you go, I
feel like a new woman,

I can do anything, I can
do what makes me happy

and she can't do anything
about it. [sighing]

- [Mannequin] Hm, it's
a Christmas miracle.

- Can you sit down?
- Legs don't bend, sweetie.

- Alright, you
know what I regret?

- [Mannequin]
[sighing] Uh, What?

- I regret killing
her too quickly,

I wish I could've told
her what a bitch she was,

how much pain and embarrassment

she's shown me my whole life,

how much she fucked me up.

[laughing]

[ominous music]

- [Lilly's Mom] You've
got to be kidding me.

- Mom?

- I fucked up your
life? [laughs]

Well, at least
you're still alive.

- [Mannequin] Oh, my
God, what's going on?

- What the hell, Mom?

- You've got some nerve accusing
me of ruining your life.

- You locked me in a
closet every Christmas Eve,

since I was a little kid.

- Oh, go throw yourself a
pity party, you whiny bitch,

'cause you're so much worse.

- Ooh, and you wonder
why Dad left you.

[laughing]

What?

[both laughing]

What's funny?

- You think your Dad
left because of me?

Poor little girl,

you'll have to look in
the mirror for that one.

- Ooh, uh!
[slapping]

[laughing]

[slapping]
Uh!

[laughing]

What the, uh!

Uh!

- You cunt!
- Uh!

[cheerful Christmas music]

[coughing]

[thudding]
- Ooh!

Uh!

[slapping]
- Uh!

Uh!

Argh!

- Uh!

- Argh!
- Uh!

[stabbing squelch]

- [Mannequin] Nice shot!

- Congratulations, Lilly,

apparently murder's the
one thing you're good at.

[dramatic music]

[grunting]
[squelching]

- Argh!

Argh!
[thudding]

Argh!

[dishes smash]

Uh!

Oh!

- [Mannequin] I really don't
think this is helping anything.

- Fuck off, Giggles!

Argh!

- [Mannequin] I just don't
feel like this is productive.

[groaning in pain]

- [Lilly] I think this
is very productive!

- Argh, argh!

Argh, argh!
- Just die!

[thudding]

- [Mannequin] So did that help?

- As long as she stays down.

[heavy breathing]

- [Mannequin] Woo!

If I could sit, I'd be
on the edge of my seat.

[sinister haunting music]

- Sorry to disappoint.

- Oh...

- [Mannequin] Tough bitch!

- You win, I give up.

[spitting]

- Oh Lilly, poor,
sweet, dumb Lilly.

- You always knew how
to make me feel loved.

- I always knew
how to protect you.

- You never protected me.

- How'd it feel
when you stabbed me?

- It felt good.

- And?

- I don't know.

- Think, Lilly.

- I don't know!

- Come on, Lilly, stop being
such a fuck up and think!

[haunting music]

- It felt comfortable.

- And?

- And it felt

familiar.

That wasn't my first time.

- Bingo!

- [Mannequin] Tell her
what's she's won, Bob.

[sinister haunting music]

- Dad, did I?

- Yep.

[stabbing squelches]

- [Mannequin] Now
you're getting it.

- There's something
about Christmas,

that always seemed
to set you off.

You wonder why I locked you up?

- But I, I remember.

- [Lilly's Mom] Go on.

[suspenseful music]

[metallic whooshing]

- Jenny, oh, my
God, I killed Jenny!

And Dad!

- All my sweet little girls.

- All?

[thudding]

Oh, shit!

- And you wonder why I just
didn't like you very much?

- I didn't know.

- [Mannequin] You were
always such a natural.

[metallic whooshing]

[dog whining]

I remember everything!

- And now you're--
- Ready.

You protected me.

- You're my little girl,
you're all I had left.

- I'm sorry, Mom.

[slow piano music]

- I'd do anything for you.

- Thank you.

I have to go.

- I know.

[somber orchestral music]

- [Mannequin] Well,
that took long enough.

- I'm so proud of her.

- [Mannequin] Hm-mm.

[sinister haunting music]

- Hello Lilly.

- I like your suit.

- Well, I am a man
of wealth and taste.

For the first time, I
can see the real you,

I knew you would get there.

- And how did you know?

- I know many things,

he is not the only one who
works in mysterious ways.

Are you ready?

I am.

♪ Silent night

♪ Holy night

♪ All is calm,

♪ All is bright

♪ Round yon virgin,
mother and child ♪

- Shall we?

♪ Holy infant, so
tender and mild ♪

[slicing squelch]

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

[pouring blood]

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

[gulping]

[eerie haunting music]

♪ Hush little baby

[eerie haunting music]

- Lilly, are you still here?

Are you okay?

Holy shit!

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna go get help.

- Oh hey.
- Lilly killed Mr. Iblis!

- What?

What the fuck is going on, ugh!

♪ Silent night

[squelching]

♪ Holy night

♪ All is calm

[thudding]

♪ All is bright

♪ Round yon virgin,
mother and child ♪

[sobbing]

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

- What the fuck
are you doing here?

[thudding squelch]

- You're welcome.

[ripping flesh]

♪ Silent night

♪ Holy night

♪ Jesus Lord, at thy birth

[squelching]

♪ Jesus Lord, at Thy birth

[light Christmas music]

[dramatic orchestral music]

["Silent Night"]