All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West - 02x23 - The Night of the Surreal McCoy.Unspecified.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

Here you are,
Mr. Ambassador.

All ready
for the opening tomorrow.

We kept the room very simple

so as not to detract
from the beauty

of the crown jewels
of Herzburg.

I trust you will approve, sir?

Yes, yes,

very nice,
very tasteful.

You and your staff

are to be congratulated,
Mr. Director.

Thank you, Mr. Ambassador.

And you,
for your magnificent protection,

thank you.

An honor, sir.

So then my man will take
his usual place tonight.

Very well, sir.

Take your posts outside,
gentlemen.

Ah.

And what is that?

That is a Wellington,
Mr. Ambassador.

Oh? And what is a Wellington?

He was an American painter

who specialized
in the Western scene.

Too bad he didn't receive
the acclaim

during his lifetime
that he deserved,

but I'm sure
he soon will.

It belongs to a Mr. Axel Morgan,

a very wealthy rancher
in these parts.

He insisted that his painting
hang in this gallery,

while the royal crown jewels
were on display.

He is a great contributor
to the museum?

I could hardly refuse him,
Mr. Ambassador.

I understand.

Well, the governor
is expecting us at his banquet.

Shall we go?

Our carriage
is just outside, sir.

Well,
I want to thank you

for the beautiful way
you have displayed

the treasures
of my beloved country.

Oh, how stupid.

I forgot my gloves
in there.

I'm so sorry,
Mr. West.

Not at all, sir.

Oh, no.

What has happened?

What has become
of the crown?

He's dead.

But how?

How?

People do not walk
through stone walls.

Have you found
anything yet?

No.

There's no way
they could have come

through the wall
or the ceiling.

Jim, come here a minute,
will you?

I want to show you something
on this painting.

Look at this section
right over here.

What about it?

But I assure you,
Mr. Morgan,

the same thing isn't bound
to happen with your picture.

It'll be perfectly
safe in the vault.

I'm not gonna take
any chances.

I want this painting crated.

I'm taking it to my ranch
this afternoon.

I don't blame you at all,
Mr. Morgan.

That painting certainly is
a masterpiece.

Uh, who are you?
You work here?

Tsk, oh, no, no, no, sir.

My name is Artemus Gordon.

Oh, yes, of course.

You're the partner
to James West.

I read about you
in the paper.

You've been guarding
the Herzburg crown jewels

on their tour.

That's right, sir.

Uh, this is Mr. West right here,

and His Excellency,
the Ambassador of Herzburg.

This is Mr. Morgan.

Mr. Ambassador,

this is indeed a pleasure
for me personally.

But in view
of what has happened,

a great dishonor on my city
and on my country.

You know, the ambassador
was just saying

how much he'd like
to meet you, Mr. Morgan.

He's a great admirer
of Wellington's paintings.

Well, I'd be glad
to show you my collection.

Look, why don't
you gentlemen ride down

to my ranch with me
this afternoon,

have a little supper,
and then view the paintings.

Oh, you may come along too,
Mr. West, if you'd like.

That's most kind of you,
Mr. Morgan.

Thank you very much.
We'd be delighted to come.

Oh good, as soon as we have
the painting crated,

we'll be on our way.

Uh, you two gentlemen
give me a hand.

Huh?

Easy now.

Lift up.
That's it.

What was that all about?

I find Mr. Morgan
a very fascinating man.

I'd just like to get to know
him better, that's all.

Tsk, I think you would, too.

Why?

That painting's
a forgery.

That's what I started
to tell you when he came in.

Mr. Morgan's
much too good a collector

not to have known it.

Do you think
he has something to do

with the missing jewels?

I don't know,
Mr. Ambassador.

But I think it's best
if you stay here in the city.

Oh, no,
I'm coming too.

I wish you'd reconsider.

Mr. West is right.

To my people,
those crown jewels mean

what your flag means
to you.

They are
our national honor.

I insist on coming
with you.

Take this painting upstairs
and hang it where it belongs.

Well, I assume you gentlemen
could use a rest

after that long ride.

Show our guests
to their rooms.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Well, I brought him.

Oh, good, Morgan.

You're to be congratulated.

Now we can have
a little fun with Mr. West.

I see you got back here
all right,

and I hope
with the crown jewels.

Oh, they're in the parlor,
safely hidden.

I'll be greatly relieved
when we're finished with West.

My advice to you, Dr. Loveless,
is to kill him now.

I? Kill West?

Oh, Mr. Morgan, no.

No.

I have something

much more interesting
in mind for him.

You've heard
of Lightnin' McCoy?

Oh, of course not.

A man of your social standing
and power wouldn't associate

with the likes
of Lightnin'.

It's a terrible pity,
though, really,

especially for a great patron
of the arts

because, you see,
Lightnin' in his own way

is a true artist,

the fastest gun
the West has ever known,

and I've sent for him.

He'll do our killing
for us.

But meanwhile,

there's no harm
in our having a little fun

with Mr. West, is there?

Huh? Heh-heh.

Well, if you're all
settled in, sir,

I guess I'll go to my room,
clean up.

Excuse me.

What I cannot understand is

why would a man as rich
as Mr. Morgan want to steal?

He doesn't need the money.

No rich man does,

if they go on making it.

One unneeded million
after another.

If you'd like to rest,
sir, I'll, uh,

wake you before supper.

Thank you, yes.

Until later.

Jim?

Jim. Open up!

Jim!

Well,
the party's over.

The ambassador.

It's still locked, Artie,
from the inside.

So is that one there.

Where'd those guys
come from?

I don't know.
Maybe they can tell us.

There's no way he could
have gotten out of here.

I know,

disappeared into thin air.

We better have a talk
with Morgan.

You're not in this alone,
you know.

I've got a stake
in this too.

You evidently have
a short memory.

I found you in that
mountain cave half-starved.

I took you in. I poured money
into your experiments.

I put up with your peeves
and tantrums...

...but not anymore.

I'm going to take care
of West myself.

Mr. Morgan,
I will not be bullied.

I realize that a lifetime's
association with cows

does not prepare one
in the ways of a gentleman,

and I know
that buying up paintings

and acquiring the reputation
of a great patron of the arts

does not guarantee
good taste or good manners,

but you could try, Morgan.

Loveless,

I have broken men
with my bare hands

for insults less than that.

You don't dare touch me.

I am the key
to more wealth, more power

than any man has ever had
since the beginning of time.

Break that key, Morgan,
and those treasures

are locked away
from you forever.

I don't care about the wealth
and the power.

You can have them.

All I want is West...
my way.

Let me tell you something,
Dr. Loveless.

You give West enough rope,
and he'll hang you.

Mr. Morgan,

your solicitous concern
touches me deeply.

Look, here he comes now.

Any sign of Morgan?

No, not a trace
of him.

You know I've been looking
through these portraits

while you were gone, Jim.

Half of them
are forgeries.

And look at this.

Here's that article
in the paper.

It's over a week old.

As a gesture of goodwill

and to acquaint
the rest of the world

with American culture,

Morgan is giving away

his entire collection.

Giving away? To whom?

Various rulers, heads of state
of great countries of the world,

important institutions.

Well, why would anyone
wanna give away fakes?

Yeah, especially
to important people.

He's getting too interested
in that painting.

Well, that's one
of my better efforts.

The flesh tones are
particularly well-done, heh.

Look at the nose
on this portrait, will you?

You are not to interfere.

It's a thumbprint.
A child's thumbprint.

A child in this house?

On the way here
in the carriage,

Morgan said he'd never
even been married.

Purple stain
of some kind.

Looks like fruit, huh?
Grape maybe?

It's not too old.

Artie,

Mr. Morgan is certainly
becoming more interesting.

Not too interesting,
I hope, Mr. West.

Get your hands up.

Well, it looks as though

I'm going to have to cut
your visit short.

Disarm them.

All right for you, Morgan.

Always interfering,

butting in,

always thinking you know best.

I'm going to have West
to myself, Morgan.

Take them outside.

The ambassador's room!

Artie,
get the window.

Break it down.

Hurry it up.

Bedroom.

Mr. West...

...always such a pleasure
to see you.

I should have known.

Dr. Miguelito Loveless.

Your humble servant, sir.

I thought you were dead.

Oh, no, Mr. West.

I'm afraid I shall never die.

Death is too ordinary.

The humiliation would kill me.

Morgan, why don't you
knock sometime?

All right,
where is he?

You know,
the other one, Gordon?

Oh, he got away.

You bungler.

All right, you three,
go after him, bring him back.

We can't afford
to have the law here.

He's not going after
the law, Morgan.

I know Artemus Gordon.

Now, with Mr. West here
and in jeopardy,

Artemus won't be very far away,
will he?

It's a quality called loyalty,
one of the nobler emotions.

Seven o'clock,
time for supper.

Would you do us the honor
of joining us?

How can I resist?

Always the soul of tact,
Mr. West.

Loveless...

we can't risk everything.

Kill him now!

Morgan,
for the last time,

Mr. West is an old, old friend
of mine,

and I am not going to be
so rude

as to shoot him down
in cold blood like a sick dog.

Now, my friend deserves
a dignified death.

We will sit down
to a quiet supper

and wait for Lightnin' McCoy
to arrive.

You know Lightnin',
of course?

Yes, but I've never had
the pleasure of meeting him.

"The pleasure of meeting him."

Mr. West, you are so droll
sometimes, heh-heh.

Downstairs.

Dr. Loveless.

Hyah, hyah.

Uh, you didn't bring me here

to show me
you could forge Wellington.

Oh, I find my Wellingtons
quite impressive.

Where is the ambassador
of Herzburg?

I believe he's having quail
under glass for supper

with an excellent wine.

Where is he?

Heh, upstairs in his bedroom.

Actually, he's never left it.

He's always been there.

Now shall we have our supper?

I have a surprise for you,
Mr. West.

Voil�.
Soup's on.

A yen for your thoughts,
Mr. West.

�Si, se�or?

Muy buenas.
Buenas.

Where can I find
the telegraph operator?

I've gotta send
a message to Denver.

Jerry?

Why, he's up
in Denver himself.

Darned telegraph machine busted
on him again, heh,

happens all the time.

And he's going
for some parts to-

Everybody out.

Yes, sir.

I drink alone.

Who's he?

He's a mean one.

Faster and meaner
than the rattlesnake.

Just get.

I said everybody out.

I'm just having
a little drink, se�or.

Ahh.

Now there ain't nothing
left to drink, is there?

I'm going to give you just
three seconds to clear out.

One...

two...

three.

He was very fast,
se�or.

Uh, yes.

But now...

Lightnin' McCoy
has nothing to drink.

You...

are Lightnin' McCoy?

S�, se�or.

Let me buy you a drink.

Amigo,

do you know where the ranch
of Se�or Morgan is?

Yes.
As a matter of fact,

I was sent out here
to meet you.

Ah. Then you know
Se�or Loveless.

Miguelito Loveless.

I'm his right-hand man.

I am very late, se�or.
We should go, eh?

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.

You've got to have
your drink.

It's a cold night, no?

S�.

Very cold night.

There.
Gracias.

De nada. Salud.

Salud.

Ahh, it's got a kick to it, eh?

Like a mule, yeah.

Eh.

Ahhh.

So, Mr. West,
as you read,

Mr. Morgan here
is giving away

his complete collection
of paintings

to all the great leaders
of the world.

Painted by you,
of course.

Perhaps the most remarkable
paintings known to man.

Let me show you.

These smiling, lighthearted
gentlemen, Mr. West,

are expert hatchet men,
the best in their tongs.

Handpicked by you, naturally.

Naturally.

In there, Mr. West,
until I need them again.

Lightnin' McCoy
is here, gentlemen.

Heh, take him upstairs.
Wine him, dine him.

We shall be
with him shortly.

We must hurry.
You don't have much time.

I think I've figured it out,
Loveless.

Oh, you were always
so good at that, Mr. West.

You have killers...

in every painting,

and when the pictures
are delivered,

the killers come out.

And then,
no more rulers anywhere.

No more emperors
or kings or presidents,

only free men.

Until you take over.

You flatter me.

What do you get out
of this, Morgan?

You ask too many questions.

Mr. Morgan becomes
the richest man

in the history
of the world.

For instance-

Now, this painting goes
to the Bank of England.

And that painting
of the Western street

that hung in the Denver Museum-

That is being given
to the United States mint.

Now what are
the Herzburg crown jewels

compared to that, huh,
Mr. West?

How do you do it, Loveless?

Well, arriving at the
basic concepts, of course,

is not one-tenth
as difficult as the job

of reducing the working
elements to practical size.

I'm listening.

True science, Mr. West,
requires imagination,

and you just don't find much
of that around anymore.

However,
if there were someone

with the proper qualities
of mind

who had, say,
30 years to burn,

he might well spend
the first 10 of those years

studying the properties
of sound,

particularly
those which we call...

...pitch.

Then, during
the following 10 years,

he could profitably make
a careful analysis

of the relationship between
the vibratory structure of sound

and the variable density
of matter.

Then, during
the final 10 years,

while all
the scientific conclusions

were inevitably merging-
Then he would, of course,

have to master the arts
of, uh, plumbing,

carpentry, electricity,

chemistry, physics,
and, of course, painting.

But listen, Mr. West...

The music of the spheres.

A perfect marriage
of art and science.

In anyone else's hands,
a noble accomplishment.

Sour grapes, Mr. West.

As for the existence
within the paintings-

That, of course, is my own
metaphysical principle,

and I am a pretty fair
metaphysician.

There's one thing
you haven't told me.

What has happened
to the human imagination?

Look, we're wasting time.

I want all of these paintings
outta here by tonight.

But Lightnin'
is here, now.

I'm not taking any chances.

Morgan, I have had enough
of your loutish,

ill-mannered interruptions.

Will you shut up?

Stay where you are.
West, you get next to him.

Morgan, is this a...
double cross?

That's unethical.

Your partner's been waiting
for this moment all along,

Loveless, old friend.

You set everything up,

he moves in.

Oh, you sure can pick 'em.

Look, I've heard enough
out of both of you.

Now stay right where you are.

Quick, Lightnin'.

In there. In there.

Where is Se�or West?

Get back, get back.
He's coming.

As usual, Mr. West,
I always get my way.

Oh, you'll feel better
in a minute.

I'm afraid I transported you
a little too fast.

Where am I?

You stepped
through a picture, Mr. West,

into my newly discovered
dimension.

But make no mistake.
Death is just as real here.

May I introduce
my friends.

The second fastest gun
in the West,

and the third...

and the fourth...

and the fifth and the sixth
and the seventh.

You know
who the first is.

Number seven,

escort Mr. West
into the saloon.

You know, Mr. West,
I have always been

incorrigibly curious,

and I've wondered just how fast
you are with a gun.

Now I'm going
to find out.

You are going to meet
Lightnin' McCoy

in a fair fight
out there in the street

in broad daylight,
and may the best man win.

And if I win?

You won't.

Number seven here
will keep you company

until you feel better,

heh-heh,
and then you'll feel worse.

Lightnin', your colleagues
are just outside.

Let me introduce you.

Uh, seven,

just in case the impossible
should happen,

you know what to do.

Would you like to test
your gun, Mr. West?

It's a beautiful weapon.

Beautifully balanced,
very fast action.

Of course, it's loaded,
Mr. West.

You know I wouldn't pull
a dirty trick like that

on an old friend.

We're covered all around.

I know.

I'll take the one
up high.

You take the one
in the alley.

How'd you get rid
of Lightnin'?

He couldn't hold
my liquor.

You know where
the ambassador is?

Yeah. Saloon basement.
He's all right.

You think
you can find him?

What, and leave you
here alone?

Only four of 'em left.

Three.

Hardly seems
worth your while.

Are you
all right, sir?

Yes, yes.

Loveless.
Where is he?

Probably gone,

out of the picture,
back to Morgan's.

You know how to get
outta here?

I got an idea.

Keep your fingers
crossed.

That's Morgan's ranch.

Now, it's gotta be
through here, but how?

It's done with sound.

Here's something.
This might do it.

Artie,
how musical are you?

Well, I...

Come on.

We've gotta get
those paintings.

Gentlemen...

this is the real McCoy.

Buenos d�as.

I do not like your tricks,
Mr. Gordon.

I will take care of you
after Mr. West.

Better move
the ambassador away, Artie.

Right.

Any time you're ready,
Lightnin'.

He was very fast, se�or.

Dr. Loveless.

Well, he's gone
into one of these paintings.

The only question is,
which one?

It doesn't make any difference.
We'll crate 'em all.

Ah, I thank you.

Thank you.

I thought without
the crown jewels of my country,

I could never go home again,

but now-
It's wonderful.

Wonderful.

Well, I guess we'd better
all turn in, huh?

Oh, we could all do
with a good night's sleep.

Yes, yes.

Oh.

This is lovely.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Are you sure he is
in one of those paintings?

Uh, well, these or the ones
that we have in the freight car.

And he cannot get out?

Not a chance,
Mr. Ambassador.

And when we get
to Washington,

we're gonna put them
in a vault,

which is far more secure
than any jail.

Oh, yes.

Now I can do
with some sleep.

Come on, sir.

Yes.