All language subtitles for S08E07 The River Corrupted

Good evening, Polly.

Is Mr Wilson in?

Upstairs. His leg's
playing up again.

Tell him to come and see me
when he's up to it.

Yes, Mr Barford.

Got business with 'im, 'ave yer?

Trying to steal the coins
out of another man's pocket?

Settle down now, Pat.

Sorry. Don't fret.

I'll be on my way.

Yeah, that's right! Go spend
your dirty money somewhere else!

Ought to be taught a lesson.

What use is running your mouth
off like that, eh?

You got a point there, lass.

Words mean nothing!

Get up! Get up! Quick!

It's my father.

They're saying that
he's killed a man.

Killed a man...?

Right, sir.

Workman who found the body reckons
it's Roger Barford.

Owns the Barford textile factory.

A blow to the head.

Could have slipped and fell in...

Hit his head on something
under the water.

His clothes are dry.

It looks like a receipt.

I'm guessing someone had
a debt to settle.

Yes.

I still don't understand why you
have to write it down twice.

So that the accounts balance.

Well, that seems rather
a waste of time.

And anyway, I thought

it was unladylike to know how much
is in one's bank account?

Give me strength!

Well, I'll go and put the kettle on?

Good idea. I've just
found someone outside

who looks like he could
do with a cup of tea.

Oh, Sidney!

Sid!

Aren't you going to introduce us,
Sid?

Oh! Mrs M, Bunty.

This is Maeve Lochlin.

Lovely to meet you.

And it's very lovely to meet you
too, Miss Lochlin.

Yes. Lovely.

I thought you were
still in Rhodesia with Aunt Fliss?

Yeah, Long story.
And it's going to have to wait.

Father. We need your help.

The lad who used to work for us
got sick.

Sid offered his labour in return
for transport up the canal.

I was on my way here.

Only Maeve invited me to the fair at
King's Norton one night and...

One thing led to another...

I just mean that we hit it off.

And there's something
about those canals. The way of life.

It's hard but...
You found peace?

For now, at least.

And the police think your father
is responsible?

Yeah. He was heard threatening
Mr Barford in The Miller's Thumb.

It's a pub on the canal.
I know.

It was just talk!

Not that the police will care.

We're boat people.

Times like this, evidence tends to
turn up

whether you're guilty or not.

Where is your father now?

No-one's seen him since last night.

He didn't come back to the boat.

Does he have any friends
around here?

Anywhere he might go?

There's this one old fella he drinks
with, sometimes.

Do you know his name?

Sorry. He's a funny one.

Wears a big old coat with
all his war medals on.

Looks like he's not seen a hot
bath in many a month.

I think I know who you mean.

Come On.

Who is it?
Father Brown.

Thought you were
the constabulary for a moment.

Is Mr Lochlin in?

I'm here to help.

S'pose you better come in.

You can come out!

I was so worried!

I'm sorry.

Pat, this is Father Brown.

It's the man
I was telling you about.

He's going to sort this out.

Miracle worker, is he?

He found you, didn't he?

Mr Lochlin, pleased to meet you,

although I wish it were under
better circumstances.

I killed nobody, Father.
I am relieved to hear it.

Although there was an altercation,
I heard?

He owed me money, refused to pay up.

I wasn't born yesterday! Pay you?

I should call the police!

Roger?

Is there a problem?

Everything's fine, darling.

I'll be there in one moment.

I want what's due!

Then you will be sorely
disappointed!

Where did you go after the pub?

I went back to Mr Barford's.

Only to tell him to pay,
mind!

Open up!

I want my money!

This isn't over...

There was no answer so I left and
that's when I met up with Harry.

We shared a bottle or two.

Together all night!

It weren't till I headed back t'boat
at daybreak

that I saw what happened.

So I turned round
and came straight back here.

I knew they'd blame me, you see.

If you go to the police...

..they'd let me swing so they could
say they've solved the case!

Hey! This is Father Brown! Right.

He'll find the real killer in no
time, trust me.

Hmm.

Stay here for now, Mr Lochlin.

I'll do what I can.

Father Brown!

It's been too long.

I heard your news.
I am so sorry for your loss.

You must think terribly of us.

Roger always worked such long hours,
you see, and...

It is easy for life to
get in the way of our prayers.

I keep thinking I'll look over
and he'll be sat there,

reading his newspaper.
Is there anything I can do to help?

All I want right now is that
man behind bars.

The boatman.

Forgive me, Father, but I hope
he rots in hell for what he did.

You believe he is responsible
for your husband's death?

I know it.

I heard them arguing.

The man was frightening.

Anybody else who might have
wished your husband harm?

My Roger was a decent, kind soul.

Well, respected.

There is a factory full of women who
owe him their livelihood!

I understand. However...

After that brute came to our house,
Roger told me

he had business to attend to.

He left.

He never came back.

That man is guilty, Father.

Believe me.

She can think what she likes.

My father didn't do it.

You don't believe me?

Course I do.

Police.

Put it with the rest. Oi!

Give that back!
We need that for the locks.

Don't worry, this boat isn't going
anywhere for a while.

Who gave you permission to come
onboard? This is our home!

We've got a warrant.

Maeve Lochlin, I take it?

So it's true what
they say about bad pennies.

Thought you were in Africa?

Got sick of the mosquitoes.

May I ask what you're looking for,
Inspector?

Whatever was used to clobber
Mr Barford around the head.

Now, where's your father?

No idea. Hiding, is he?
Guilty conscience?

If he is hiding, it's cos
he knows you lot will fit him up!

We've found a receipt on the body.

Callaway's jewellery
shop in Birmingham.

Mean anything to you? No.

You sure?

Inspector! I've found something.

It's a priest.

A priest?

It's a fisherman's bludgeon.

They use it to dispatch their catch
after they've reeled it in.

Well, isn't that the
story of my life?

I arrive at the abode of a suspected
murderer and what do I find

but a bloody priest?!

He uses it for fishing, that's all!

So it does belong to your father?

I'll ask you one more time.

Where is he?

Fine.

We'll find him ourselves.

What can I get for you, gentlemen?

We're looking for Pat Lochlin, Miss.

Not been in since last night.

I take it you've heard the news?

Some of your customers say
Mr Lochlin was threatening

Roger Barford?

Pat didn't mean nothing by it.

Friendly man. Most of the time.

Friendly, eh? Any particular friends
who could confirm this?

You know, like a character witness.

I dunno.

I've seen him having a drink with
Blind 'Arry a few times.

'Arry would vouch for him.
You know 'Arry?

Oh, yes.

Harold Slow and I go way back.

We need to talk to anyone who was
there last night.

Somebody must have seen the killer.

Round up the men.

I want Harold Slow's pigsty turned
upside-down within the hour.

They'll find him! What do we do?

Wish me luck.

Mind if I borrow this?

Don't worry.
He's a very good cyclist.

Police are coming.

You gotta get out of here.

Hide. Both of you.
I'll deal with 'em.

Told yer, Inspector!

I thought the landlord was throwing
those bottles out,

else why'd 'ee stack
'em up by the bins like that?

Where's Pat Lochlin?

Not seen 'im. Start looking.

You heard him, men!

Hope you've a warrant before
you be crossing my threshold.

Don't need one.

I have permission from Mr Travis,
the owner of this barn.

Said if you make any fuss,
he's happy for us to evict you.

Hungry, were you?

Always make one extra.

An offering to fallen comrades.

Tear the place apart!

Right you are, sir.

Wow, Where're you going?

They're going to find me
sooner or later.

If they catch you 'ere,
you'll get it in the neck too.

And who'll look after my Maeve,
eh?

Just... get your priest friend to
sort this.

Inspector.

Mr Lochlin!

Thank you.

And can I say how lovely it is
to see Sid settling down at last

with a nice young lady.

Don't know if I'd say
'settled down'.

I've only known him a few weeks.

Sorry, Can I use your...?

Yes, yes. Through there.

What?

'How lovely it is to see Sid
settling down at last?'.

Aren't you pleased that he's
found someone?

Oh, Of course.

Who WOULDN'T want to see Sid with
a murderer for a father-in-law?

I couldn't be happier for him!

Where's Maeve?

She's gone to powder her nose.

It's her dad.

Police have got him.

And he's been arrested for murder.

Witnesses saw you
threatening the victim.

Your fingerprints are on the shards
of glass found outside

Mr Barford's house.

The murder weapon was
found on your narrowboat.

Not guilty.

We found this in the victim's mouth.

A receipt from a jeweller's
in Birmingham.

Owner says a man fitting
your description picked up

an order on behalf of Mr Barford
a week ago. Yes, I did.

And I gave it to
Mr Barford as agreed.

Only he didn't pay me
the fee he promised.

Ah, so that made you angry.
So you killed him.

No! I smashed that glass, yes.

But I never harmed him.

And as for that receipt, I gave it
to Mr Barford with the package.

What was in the package?

Said it was a necklace.

And where is this necklace now?
I told you!

I gave it to Mr Barford!

So, if you didn't kill him,

how did your priest get
covered in the victim's blood?

Tell you what. I'm in no rush.

You sleep on it. Goodfellow!

Yes, sir?

Take him to his cell.

Hey, hey. It's all right.

I'm here.

OK. Sorry.

Hey, Don't be daft.

It's just a bad dream, that's all.

Something got caught in the prop.

I reached down to clear it out
but then...

..his face floated to the surface.

Whose? Mr Barford's?

Dad's.
He had a noose round his neck.

You don't think.

What?

Maybe he was defending himself?

What're you saying?

Well, him
and this Mr Barford, they argued

and maybe Mr Barford attacked him.

You think he did it?

Well, not murder but...

He gave you a job.

He gave us his blessing. I know!

My father is no killer!

As soon as we have concluded our
investigations...

Do I need to remind you how much
my husband did for this community?

Without that factory...

Rest assured, Mrs Barford,
justice will be served.

I should hope so, Inspector.

Rhodesia's a beautiful country.

And the people there are amazing.

It's just our lot I couldn't stand.
In what way?

I don't know.

I always got bigger tips than
the local chauffeurs...

..and it weren't
cos I was a better driver.

And the way some of those toffs
spoke to their servants!

I thought it was bad here.

You and Maeve.

Is it serious?

I think so, yeah.

I am pleased for you.

Good to see you, Sid.

Right then Mr Slow.

Don't go too far.

We might need to talk to you again.

Your breakfast.

From Mrs McCarthy.

In that case,
I'll savour every morsel.

Don't s'pose you've
got summat to wash it down with?

What happened in there?

Inspector accused me of providin'
a false alibi!

Did you?

An untrue word's never passed
my lips, Father. You know that!

Pat didn't do it.

How do you know?

Be 'appy to tell you, Father.

Only I got this dry, tickly throat.

I'll see you
back at the Presbytery, Sid.

Turned up at the barn
in the early hours.

Asked me to say we were drinkin'
together all night.

And you agreed?

He'd do same for me.

If the police prove you lied,
you will be imprisoned for perjury.

A friend in need, Father.

And I knew right away Pat
'adn't killed nobody.

How can you be certain?

His eyes. Not so different,
you and me.

Wha' we been through.

The Great War...

Both watched the life
fade from another man's face.

Smelt his last breath.

That moment.
It's why you found God, I reckon.

And why I found drink.

I am aware of the injustice.

For all its horrors,
the war helped me to find peace.

Robbed you of yours.

One way or 'nother,
changes you, tha' moment.

That guilt.

Changes your very bones.

Casts a shadow across your soul.

And that is why you should let
God's light into your life.

On that, we differ, Father.

I'm sayin', you might hide
it from some people,

that shadow,
but not the rest of us.

Not them what knows how it feels.

So you looked into Pat's eyes.

No shadow.

Not sure if I have said this
before, Harold.

But you are a good man.

How can you say that, Father?

Things I've done.

What these hands have done.

They were only young lads.

So were we, Harold.

So were we.

Find out who killed Mr Barford
and get Pat out of there, Father.

He don't deserve this.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Thought we might have a talk.

Not really on speaking terms with
The Man Upstairs,

I'm afraid.

Not since He took my Winifred.

She was my warm summer breeze
Father,

and He took her.

I know Blind 'Arry lied for you.

I also know it won't be
long before the police cotton on.

Arry won't tell. No.

And if he tells
lies for you under oath,

he could be charged with perjury.

What am I supposed to do,
Father? Eh?

I didn't kill Mr Barford.

I swear on my Maeve's life.

Tell me about this delivery.

The truth.

I bring Mr Barford's coal

for the factory.

Only the last time he asked me
to do him a favour,

said to pick up this package
from Birmingham

and he'd give me an extra quid but
he refused to pay.

Why?

Cause he's as tight as a duck's
bilge pump!

It was a gold chain.

Expensive.

24-carat.

I took it to another jeweller's
and swapped it for a cheaper one,

pocketed the difference.
I know! I know!

But business is slow,
the boat needs repairs and...

Mr Barford took one look at it
and knew what I'd done.

I denied it, of course.

Convinced myself that he should've
paid me anyway, idiot that I am.

That's why you got so drunk?

You were angry with yourself,
not with him.

After you left Mr Barford's,
where did you go?

To be honest, the rest
of the night's a bit hazy, Father.

I remember I took a kip somewhere.

Outside? No.

Inside.

It was warm.

There was a woman's voice.

We haven't finished Inspector...

Yes, you have.

We've got the results
back from the priest.

They confirm the blood type
matches Mr Barford.

We have motive,
means and opportunity.

And you, Mr Lochlin, have a
date with the gallows.

Maybe we could break him out?

Not sure if a narrowboat is
the perfect getaway vehicle.

We could retrace his steps, perhaps
that would prove his innocence.

Mrs M, Bunty, will you look after
Maeve if Father Brown

and I head back to the
canal? Of course.

No trouble at all.

Absolutely.
We'll keep a very close eye on her.

Not to hurry you, Father.

It is late in the day.
You've had a few drinks...

I think I can imagine what
that feels like.

You are tired
but you're too ashamed to go home.

Where do you go?

Another boat?

Sergeant Goodfellow said theirs
were the only boats on this stretch.

Back to the pub? You'd be seen.

Only if he went in the bar.

There's plenty of nooks and crannies

in an old pub
like The Miller's Thumb.

Good point. I will investigate.

You go to Barford's mill
and talk to the women there.

What for?

Gossip spreads like wildfire
in a factory.

They might know someone else who had
a motive to kill Mr Barford.

Not being funny or anything, but why
ain't I the one going to the pub?

Sid. I never thought
I would hear you

object to being sent to talk

with a throng of women.

Yeah, well.

I'm spoken for now.

I will drink to that.

Meet you at Barford House at midday.

You scared the life out of me!
What're you doing down here?

Trying to save a man from the
gallows. Father Brown.

Polly Beavington.
I work behind the bar.

Looks like someone spent
the night here?

Look,
you can't just come down here...

So it wasn't you who gave
Mr Lochlin this blanket?

Only I couldn't help noticing
a slight hint of scent on it.

Why didn't you tell anyone?

Mr Wilson, the landlord,
he'd give me the sack

if he knew I let someone
kip down here.

An' for all I know Pat could've
snuck off

during the night and come back.

Doesn't prove anything.

Why did you let him stay?

He was in a state. Upset.

Going on about how his missus
would've been ashamed of him.

I thought he should sleep it off.

Please don't tell anyone.

I've already lost my job at
the factory. I need this.

You worked at the factory?

I know what you're thinking but this
had nothing to do with Mr Barford.

Foreman reckoned I'd stolen
some cloth.

He had no proof
but he dismissed me anyway.

Did you complain to Mr Barford?

He was the one who put in a good
word for me with Mr Wilson.

So I had no reason to wish him
any harm.

Now, do you mind?

Are you all right?
Do you need any help?

I'm fine.

You should go.

I've got work to do.

All right, ladies.

Mind if I have a word?

Ten o'clock tomorrow.

I shall see you then.

Forgive me, Father.
So much to sort out.

The funeral, the factory...

No need to apologise.

The factory is why I am here.

Did your husband ever mention
Polly Beavington?

Who?

An ex-employee.
She now works at The Miller's Thumb.

I can't say I know her.

She was dismissed.

Must have been a good reason.

Roger always talked
about the workers as our family.

He used to say 'Why have one child
when you can have a hundred?'.

Apparently, your husband helped
find her a new job.

Now you say it,

I recall Roger mentioning one young
lady who was giving him trouble.

Perhaps it was her? Trouble?

He was a handsome man, Father.

It wasn't unknown.

Yes? A foolish infatuation on her
part.

I imagine Roger thought it
preferable for her to find

employment elsewhere.

For her own sake.

Ah!

Any joy?

A factory owner allows
an employee to be dismissed

and then helps her find
employment elsewhere.

Let me guess. Polly Beavington?

Rumours is Polly and Mr Barford were
seen 'whispering in corners'.

What if they were having an affair?
Tongues start wagging.

Miss Beavington, there is something
I'd like to discuss with you.

Mr Barford, worried his wife's
going to find out,

he decides to get shot of her.

Yes, Mr Barford.

He finds her the job in the pub
out of guilt.

But hell hath no fury.

It's possible.

Polly could have killed Mr Barford

and framed Pat by using his priest.

Yeah, but why Pat?

Opportunism.

She knew he had no alibi

because he was asleep
in the pub cellar.

And he threatened
Mr Barford in public.

We should tell the police.

We have no evidence.

There is something about her
I don't trust, that's all.

Why can't you just give her
the benefit of the doubt,

for Sid's sake?

Maeve?

She's gone. What do you mean, she's
gone? Gone where?

Well, I don't know!

But I promised to keep an eye on her

so that's exactly
what I'm going to do!

Afternoon, 'Arry.

Is it afternoon already?

Bloomin' heck, 'Arry.
You all right, love?

Ah, tiptop! Top notch.
Just my bad knee playing up.

Yeah, that'll be it.

Would you like me
to sing you a song?

♪ And it's true, sir...

♪ And it's... er... and it's true
♪ And, and it's true

♪ And it's true, sir

♪ I never was given to lie

♪ If you'd have been to Derby

♪ You'd have seen him, the same as I

♪ And it's true, sir

♪ I never was given to lie. ♪
Here.

Ah, yes. I thought so.

Honestly, love! There's no need!

It's no bother.

That's it.
I'm calling the police!

If you do that, you
can tell them

that you're pregnant with Roger
Barford's child.

You what?

We've seen the
letter from your doctor.

What's so funny?

You think I was sleeping
with Mr Barford?

Weren't you?

He was my father.

My deepest condolences.

I've only known a few weeks.

Was looking through my mum's
things after she passed

and I found her diary.

Turns out she worked at the Barford
factory before I was born.

I get it!

So you were angry with Mr Barford
for abandoning your mother?

He never knew I existed!

My Mam was already married.

He was still a bachelor.

She called what happened with
Mr Barford her 'month of madness.'

I only told him I was his daughter
cos I was desperate.

I'd got myself in trouble, see?
Guess it runs in the family.

Did Mr Barford give you a necklace?

He tried.

To say sorry he weren't going to be
part of my life.

Didn't want to upset his missus.

Georgia and I were never able to
have children and...

For you and I to...

I cannot be a father to you.

I'm sorry.
It would break her heart.

You're very sweet.

But I don't want it.

I know it isn't the finest
quality. There was a...

..misunderstanding,

but if you don't wish to wear it,
you could sell it.

Buy what you need for the child.

It's not that.

It feels wrong, that's all.

I had a dad. He might not've been my
blood but he was a good man.

Anyway, you got me that job.

It'll tide me over til the baby's
father next shows up.

I'll tell him and...

..hopefully, he'll do
the right thing.

Very well.

But if there is ever
anything you need...

If you gave him back the necklace,
where is it now?

Your guess is as good as mine.

We turned around and she was gone.

Gone? Gone where?

I don't know.

Penelope went after her but I
haven't seen either of them since...

Sid! Where've you been?

I couldn't sit around doing nothing.

I found a solicitor to
take on father's case.

How're we going to pay for that?
It's all sorted.

I don't understand.

She sold this.

Maeve? I found it.

Tell the truth.

Did your father give it to you
or did you steal

it from the corpse of Mr Barford
yourself?

Bunty!

What have you done?

Maeve, I didn't...
Sid. I will talk to her.

What? She had the necklace!

Maeve is either
covering for her father or

she murdered Mr Barford herself.

It was on the towpath.

Why didn't you hand it in?

It was near our boat.

I knew
if the police found out about it,

they'd use it as more
evidence against my dad.

Can't believe the man
I love thinks I'm a murderer!

You are angry at Sid

because he didn't trust you,

yet you kept the necklace a secret.

Cause I knew he'd
get the wrong idea!

If you love someone,

trust works both ways.

How do I know if he loves me?

Maybe he just feels sorry for me.

Maybe he's frightened to be alone.

Maybe he's never been in
love before.

And yet he sees one necklace

and jumps to the same
conclusion as that posh cow.

He's just as bad as everyone else.

Thinks because we live on water,
we must be scum.

Maybe I should've handed
the necklace in.

But I was scared.

And it's easier to do the right
thing when you don't spend

your life scraping together every
penny just to buy bread!

Sorry, Father, I'd rather be alone.

What about Sid?

He's probably already

on the telephone to the police.

There really is no need to
keep checking on me, Father.

I had a question, that is all.

Go on. Why did you not telephone
the police?

When?

You said Mr Lochlin had argued
with your husband,

then shortly afterwards your husband
left the house and never returned.

Yes, but...

Mr Lochlin returned later,

shouting and demanding to be let in.

You were alone and vulnerable.

I thought if I ignored him, he
would go away.

You told me he was frightening.

You must have heard
the sound of glass smashing.

Did you not think he was trying to
gain entry via a window?

That perhaps you were in danger?

The thought never occurred to me.

Perhaps because you weren't here.

You weren't here, were you?

Of course I was!

I was at home all night.

I wonder.

If your husband was
murdered in an argument over money,

why did his attacker throw
away the gold chain?

No, this was a crime of passion.

A crime of jealousy.

That girl you mentioned?

It must have been her!

You must have heard the rumours
circulating about your husband

and Miss Beavington?

Then, when you found
the receipt for the necklace,

that was the final straw.

I have to go out.

At this hour?

Business to attend to.

I won't be long.

So you followed him.

And saw him with Miss Beavington,
which confirmed your suspicions. No!

And then, on the way home,
you passed the narrowboat,

saw the priest

and a chance for revenge...

Then you framed Mr Lochlin...

I have been punished enough.

God will decide that.

No! He deserved it!

He was an adulterer!

I was his wife!

And, what? Just because I couldn't
give him children,

he started carrying on with a girl
young enough to be his daughter!

It's disgusting!

She IS his daughter!

Don't be ridiculous!

Your husband had a brief
relationship with

Miss Beavington's
mother before you were married.

That is impossible.

He was unaware of his daughter's
existence until recently.

He wasn't having an affair with her.

He was simply trying to help her.

He did not tell you

because he did not want to hurt you.

You're lying!

He had the child that you two

so desperately desired.

But he loved you too much to
put you through that.

So he sent her away.

But...

..I thought...

He loved you,

and God still loves you,

despite what you have done.

What do I do?

Repent,

seek forgiveness,

and tell the truth,

or you will have more
blood on your hands.

You going somewhere?

Heading back up north,
see if I can pick up another load.

By yourself?

I need the money.

What I made selling that necklace
won't last long.

What if I told you you don't need a
solicitor?

I'm not letting my father rot in...

He's out. He's free.

Thank the Lord!

Well, thank Father Brown,
to be precise.

I never doubted you.

I was just...

confused.

And I've been wracking my brains
thinking how to show you how I feel.

Well... Sid!

No, just listen.

I've always had itchy feet.

Never settled for long, anywhere,
with, well... anyone.

Always looking for the escape.
That's probably why

I get myself into so
much trouble. But with you...

We can travel anywhere
we want, in this,

and, as long as you're by my side,

it'll always feel like home.

So, Maeve Lochlin,

Will you...? No.

No. Thank you... Not yet, anyway.

But you are a wonderful man,
Sidney Carter.

But we are only just
getting to know each other.

And what's the rush?

Can't we just see where the
water takes us?

You forgive me, then?

Can we really not persuade you to
stay a few more days?

The boat's been idle long enough.

We need to get cargo on her
and get moving.

Drop in next time you're passing.

You have my word, Father.

And if you ever need free
passage along the waterways,

you only need to ask.

Always a pleasure, 'Arry.

You take care now, Pat.

Maeve, I'm sorry.

I was an utter fool.

I should know that Sid wouldn't

give his heart to someone that
doesn't deserve it.

You were looking out for a friend.

I respect that.

Oh, and you. You two...

If you go and get married somewhere
without inviting Mrs M,

she'll hunt you to the
ends of the Earth

Point taken.

Here, don't get into any mischief!

Where's the fun in that?

Father.

Go. Be happy.

You deserve it.

And there's always a home here
if you need it...

..for both of you.

Thanks, Father...

..for everything.

Young love, eh?

Don't you even think about it,
Harold Slow!