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1
00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:14,080
You try and try, but at some
point you finally have to admit...
2
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,263
...as much as you care
about each other...
3
00:00:16,639 --> 00:00:20,900
...your relationship isn't working
and hasn't been for some time.
4
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,423
But you two wouldn't be
sitting here with me...
5
00:00:23,543 --> 00:00:26,820
...if you didn't want to
save this relationship.
6
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:28,920
Isn't that true?
7
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,601
I'm be willing to try.
I can't speak for...
8
00:00:31,636 --> 00:00:34,700
You don't have to
speak for me, Niles.
9
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:40,380
-I'm perfectly capable of speaking
for myself. -Yes, I know.
10
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:43,147
Caruso wasn't so in love with
the sound of his own voice.
11
00:00:43,182 --> 00:00:45,290
What does that mean?
12
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,696
Well, you tell me, Enrico.
What do you think it means?
13
00:00:47,731 --> 00:00:48,920
I guess I can tell you...
14
00:00:50,690 --> 00:00:52,690
Gentlemen!
15
00:00:53,410 --> 00:00:58,810
Now, are we agreed that we want
to do something to fix this problem?
16
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:06,300
Why doesn't one of you
tell me how this started?
17
00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:12,610
Well, it began with me. Last week,
I was at work doing my radio show.
18
00:01:12,910 --> 00:01:16,110
I was on the air with
a troubled young woman.
19
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,061
She had just started telling me...
20
00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:21,300
...about a recurring dream
she had since childhood.
21
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,900
Okay, I'm in my bedroom.
22
00:01:22,935 --> 00:01:25,800
I'd just gotten out of the
bath tub to get dressed.
23
00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:29,540
When I opened the closet,
all my clothes are gone.
24
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:33,431
Suddenly, I hear the sound
of footsteps on the drive outside.
25
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,500
I turn and there is a little girl...
26
00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:39,190
...with her nose pressed up
against the window. -Facinating!
27
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:43,210
But her breath is clogging up the glass
so that I can't make out her face.
28
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,300
Only, I'm sure she's come to
tell me something important.
29
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:50,510
So, a girl...
30
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:54,810
...on the other side of a
glass with an urgent message.
31
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:59,420
And for some reason you're
unwilling or able to receive it.
32
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,244
I'm sorry, Dr. Crane,
I hate to interrupt...
33
00:02:01,364 --> 00:02:02,963
...but you're all out of
time for today.
34
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,320
Oh, dear.
35
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,271
Um, listen, Jill,
I'm terribly sorry, but listen...
36
00:02:07,306 --> 00:02:09,440
I'd like to continue talking
to you when we're off the air...
37
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:12,040
...so please don't hang up.
In the meantime, listeners...
38
00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:13,298
...I've enjoyed our time today.
39
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,170
Tune in again tomorrow
when we'll be talking with...
40
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,370
Blah, blah, Frasier Crane Show,
happy health, goodbye!
41
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:28,000
-Yo, Jill. You a football fan?
-Not really. -Beat it!
42
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,850
All right, let's talk
women scum!
43
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,100
I hate this job. Not only do I have
to put up with that annoying little...
44
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,340
...sweat-sock...
45
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:41,647
...but when a caller comes in
who has a truly fascinating problem...
46
00:02:41,682 --> 00:02:43,240
I'm barely even able
to scratch the surface.
47
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,149
It makes me want to run screaming
back to private practice!
48
00:02:45,184 --> 00:02:47,740
I can imagine how
frustrated you must be.
49
00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:51,005
This show's gotta be constraining
for a man of your staggering intellect.
50
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,040
Hold it, stop, wait a minute!
51
00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:55,139
You expect us to believe
that Roz actually...
52
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:58,230
...used a phrase like
"staggering intellect"?
53
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:00,972
It was something like that.
54
00:03:01,007 --> 00:03:04,050
So, she might have said
your "boundless brilliance..."
55
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,531
or, say, "the Olympian
reaches of your wisdom."
56
00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:09,040
-Oh, Niles, do shut up.
-Oh, you shut up!
57
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:17,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
58
00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:20,856
Gentlemen, gentlemen! It is not
important exactly what was said.
59
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:29,150
What is important is that he
assumes it revolves around him...
60
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:32,140
...when the truth is it started
several days before that, with me.
61
00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:36,030
I'd been having some trouble with the
psychiatrist in the office next door.
62
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:39,750
His unconventional therapy had
started to intrude upon my sessions.
63
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,020
Mrs. Kelly, the key here
is that you trust me.
64
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:44,316
So long as you're
in this office...
65
00:03:44,351 --> 00:03:47,220
...you have no reason
to feel anything but safe.
66
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:57,330
You must think of this as
your refuge, your sanctuary.
67
00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:06,636
I'm not saying that being a
sole survivor of a plane crash...
68
00:04:06,671 --> 00:04:08,950
...wasn't a traumatizing
experience for you.
69
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:15,230
But, I can get you to a point where
the memories no longer haunt you.
70
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,200
His primal scream madness
was ruining my practice.
71
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:27,980
I had to do something. The opportunity
presented itself that Friday.
72
00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:31,040
I'd come to Frasier's for dinner.
I remember Daphne...
73
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,900
...my father's health care worker, was
telling the most delightful story...
74
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:37,950
Oh, I know what you're going though,
dealing with a noisy neighbour.
75
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,140
Have I ever mentioned that couple
that lived next door to me in London?
76
00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:45,340
A married couple, who made
the most un-Godly racket - in bed!
77
00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:47,631
The walls must have
been like tissue paper...
78
00:04:47,751 --> 00:04:50,450
...because I'd hear the whole
performance every night.
79
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,161
Finally, I decided the
only to get them...
80
00:04:53,196 --> 00:04:55,248
...to stop was to let them hear
what I'd been hearing.
81
00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:59,270
So, one night, I moved
near the wall and I started...
82
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:23,550
Problem solved.
83
00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,156
I'm sorry, Daphne, I drifted.
84
00:05:27,191 --> 00:05:29,670
Would you mind
telling that story again?
85
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:33,750
Hold it, stop! Niles, you know
full well that Daphne merely...
86
00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:36,550
...told us that story,
she did not act it out.
87
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,360
-Didn't she? -No!
Just tell the story! -Fine.
88
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,660
It was a few hours later.
We were having espresso...
89
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,686
...and, perhaps to counter-act
the stimulative effect...
90
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,600
...Frasier was telling
us about his day.
91
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,900
You know, I can't stop thinking
about my last caller today.
92
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,100
Fascinating young woman...
93
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,627
...who had a recurring dream.
94
00:05:56,662 --> 00:06:00,200
You know who's a hell of
a dreamer? Eddie.
95
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:04,460
One night I'd wake up,
he's lying on my forehead...
96
00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:08,970
...dead asleep, with a big clump
of my hair in his mouth, growlin'!
97
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,940
Bet you'd love to analyze
that little brain of his.
98
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:18,650
Yes, that would be the jewel
in the crown of my career!
99
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:23,823
Still, thinking about
this woman has...
100
00:06:23,858 --> 00:06:26,780
...started me longing
for private practice.
101
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:30,570
I guess I just miss the chance
to dig deep with my patients.
102
00:06:30,770 --> 00:06:33,770
-Have you considered seeing patients
on the side? -Oh yes, of course.
103
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,881
I've got a list of people
who've expressed interest.
104
00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:38,960
Frasier, I have a proposition.
105
00:06:39,270 --> 00:06:44,070
I mentioned that doctor in the office
next door? Well, his lease is up.
106
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:47,070
If you were interested in
his office, as his landlord...
107
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:50,790
...I could tell him and his
screaming meamies to hit the road!
108
00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:56,490
You and I...
109
00:06:56,990 --> 00:06:59,490
...Working side by side?
110
00:07:04,150 --> 00:07:06,550
I don't mind telling you
the prospect...
111
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:10,580
...sounds quite exciting! -We could
consult on each other's patients.
112
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,880
-We could give seminars together.
-Even therapy groups! -Oh, my God!
113
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:17,290
"Crane & Crane", I can see our logo
already; a giant Crane hovering...
114
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,780
...over a human head!
115
00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:25,422
Dad, why are you laughing?
Why is Dad laughing?
116
00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:27,670
You two, you'll never learn.
117
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,090
-Oh, oh, you think this is a bad idea?
-The restaurant you bought together...
118
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:33,670
...that was a bad idea!
119
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:38,680
The book you tried to write together,
that was a bad idea! But this...
120
00:07:41,490 --> 00:07:44,490
No, that restaurant was
still the stupidest one.
121
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:49,630
-Two little mis-adventures and you
doom us to failure. -Oh, baloney.
122
00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:53,150
You've been like this since you were
kids. You two can't work together.
123
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,859
Maybe Dad's right.
We're not ready for this.
124
00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:58,740
-It could lead to conflict and tension.
-Hold it!
125
00:07:58,950 --> 00:08:01,270
-Niles, tell the truth!
-Oh, all right.
126
00:08:01,305 --> 00:08:04,250
Stop raining on our parade, Dad!
127
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,980
To "Crane & Crane"!
128
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:15,080
Well, our first day together
began innocently enough...
129
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:19,050
-Good morning, Dr. Crane.
-And to you, Dr. Crane
130
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,700
Oh, Niles, why should we be so
formal, there's nobody around.
131
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:31,000
-It's a hi-five, Niles!
-Oh, oh, oh, sorry.
132
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,900
-Coffee?
-Oh, yes, please.
133
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:41,100
Oh, Niles, I can't tell you
how much I've missed that.
134
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,300
The smell of the office place.
135
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,400
...Freshly oiled leather
couches, the pungent coffee...
136
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,253
...the aroma of an
exotic luncheon special...
137
00:08:51,288 --> 00:08:52,800
...wafting up from
the cafeteria below.
138
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:55,550
Actually, that's the lab next
door. They lost power last night...
139
00:08:55,730 --> 00:08:58,130
...some of their
tissue samples turned.
140
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,805
By the way, I've put together
some recent articles...
141
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,160
...you may want to peruse
just to get up to speed.
142
00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:11,910
-Up to speed?
-Well...
143
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,712
...it has been a while
since you've practised...
144
00:09:13,747 --> 00:09:16,190
...and we could all
use a little brushing up.
145
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,600
Well, that's very considerate of you.
146
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,300
-Just put my homework assignment
in my box there. -As you wish.
147
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,400
All right, where shall
we put this then?
148
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,124
-Well, the only place
it should go, actually...
149
00:09:44,159 --> 00:09:45,299
...is right here by the couch, I think.
150
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,900
No, no, Daphne, here on the desk...
151
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,427
...will pick up the
earth tones in the carpet.
152
00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:52,250
No, there's this desk space
here by the coffee station.
153
00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:54,002
Oh, underneath the heating vent?!
154
00:09:54,037 --> 00:09:56,990
Why not just give it
a blindfold and a cigarette!
155
00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,500
-It's your office, put it where
you like. -No, no, it is your plant.
156
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:03,820
And it's my bleedin' back, so I'm
putting it right here!
157
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:07,920
Honestly, I don't know how
you put up with him.
158
00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:13,610
-Liar! Liar! Daphne never said that!
-Well, she said it with body language.
159
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,760
I happen to be fluent in that language
and she said nothing of the kind!
160
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:21,420
Will someone tell me what's
so important about this plant?
161
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,320
You'll know soon enough. I'm
telling the rest of the story.
162
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,820
I'm putting it right here!
163
00:10:28,580 --> 00:10:32,880
You know the best thing about getting
old? Your hair may turn grey...
164
00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:36,660
...your joints may stiffen, you
may even have to walk with a cane.
165
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:40,610
But people still ask you
to help them move!
166
00:10:44,650 --> 00:10:46,699
Forgive me for
overburdening you, Dad.
167
00:10:46,734 --> 00:10:49,350
Could you just put those
in my office, please?
168
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:55,530
Oh, look at your two names
together on the door.
169
00:10:56,500 --> 00:11:00,300
Er, Dr. Crane, is your brother's
name smaller than yours?
170
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,497
Yes, that was the
only way it would fit.
171
00:11:02,532 --> 00:11:05,000
I assumed you wouldn't mind -
after all, we're concerned here...
172
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,700
...with healing people, aren't we?
173
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,560
Of course, Niles.
174
00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:12,765
If I were interested
in self-promotion...
175
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,710
...I guess I'd be content
with my radio show...
176
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:21,110
...heard every day by over
half a million listeners...
177
00:11:21,410 --> 00:11:25,210
...the Pacific Northwest
and parts of Canada!
178
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:30,066
-What are you doing?
-I'm moving the Chepalire.
179
00:11:30,101 --> 00:11:31,010
I like it where it was.
180
00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:33,710
Yes, but it didn't like it
there. It wants light.
181
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:37,440
You two tend to your plant,
I'll go fetch the file cabinet!
182
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,599
I have had this plant
for two years...
183
00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:40,740
...and it has never been
in direct sunlight.
184
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,100
Well, obviously, look at it,
the leaves are puckering!
185
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,765
They are not,
they've wilted a little...
186
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,919
from the ride over
in the trunk of the car.
187
00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:46,680
Oh, nonsense...
188
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,530
...Mafia snitches emerge from car
trunks looking more robust!
189
00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:54,530
-This plant is going right over...
-And so it begins!
190
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:59,830
Of course, the incident with the
plant was only the beginning.
191
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,434
That was followed by a run-in
at the receptionist's desk...
192
00:12:02,469 --> 00:12:04,740
...a row at the coffee machine,
and a contretemps...
193
00:12:04,940 --> 00:12:06,612
...when Frasier lost
the men room's key.
194
00:12:06,647 --> 00:12:10,140
-That was an accident.
-Yes, it very nearly was.
195
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,820
I am so tired of
your exaggeration.
196
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:17,820
You always make things fifteen
thousand times worse than they are!
197
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,250
I'm going to tell
the story from now on!
198
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:25,530
The point is, our nerves were,
well, pretty much shot...
199
00:12:25,565 --> 00:12:28,910
...by the time we conducted
our first therapy group together...
200
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,320
First off, I have a
colleague to introduce.
201
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,213
He is not only an
esteemed psychiatrist...
202
00:12:34,248 --> 00:12:36,850
...he happens to be my brother,
Dr. Frasier Crane.
203
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,650
Afternoon.
204
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:44,150
-Wow, you're Dr. Crane from the radio.
-Guilty as charged.
205
00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:46,507
Yes, but we all have to
remind Dr. Crane that...
206
00:12:46,542 --> 00:12:48,570
...this is real psychiatry now,
not the radio.
207
00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:51,810
No hanging up on
the hard ones here!
208
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,977
But rest assured I am trained
to deal with a full range of issues.
209
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:03,390
Everything from
envy to jealousy.
210
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,180
But...
211
00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:07,524
...I'll just be observing today.
212
00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,330
I don't know you well enough
to render any opinions yet, so just...
213
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:14,440
-...pretend I'm not here.
-And good luck with that.
214
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,444
Mrs. Kalish, perhaps you could
bring us up to date...
215
00:13:20,479 --> 00:13:22,160
...on how you're dealing
with your divorce.
216
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,160
-This is week two, isn't it?
-Yes.
217
00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:33,050
-Well, I actually had my first
date last night. -That's wonderful.
218
00:13:36,430 --> 00:13:40,030
-Did you say something?
-I don't think so.
219
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:44,630
It sounded like "Hmmm..."
like you disapproved.
220
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,600
Well, since you've asked.
221
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:53,058
I think in divorce we
have painful feelings...
222
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,040
...which are never the
less healthy feelings.
223
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:57,832
We start to date too quickly and
we want to be sure that...
224
00:13:57,867 --> 00:14:00,250
...that's not panacea for the pain.
225
00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:03,000
Ooh, yes, you'll all find
my brother's quite adept...
226
00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:05,870
...with those peppy little bromides;
"panacea for the pain"!
227
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,126
You can almost hear the phrase:
228
00:14:07,161 --> 00:14:11,160
We'll be right back after
these words from "Pringles"!
229
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,249
You don't want to wait too long
before you date though, either.
230
00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:17,260
I waited five years.
231
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:20,960
But then I was so desperate I stayed
with the first woman who came along.
232
00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:25,750
She ended up being the same controlling
ice princess as my first wife.
233
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,770
-Well, Mr. Carr...
-Wait, Dr. Crane.
234
00:14:28,805 --> 00:14:31,480
It sounded like your brother
said something again.
235
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,360
Well, since you've asked.
236
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:40,132
It occurred to me that by
waiting for five years...
237
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:43,140
...and becoming,
as you said, desperate...
238
00:14:43,870 --> 00:14:45,997
...that perhaps you were
really giving yourself...
239
00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:49,670
...license to pursue the woman
who reminded you of your first wife.
240
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,097
You had to repeat the pattern.
241
00:14:51,132 --> 00:14:54,180
So, you're saying that it
wasn't an accident?
242
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,106
-We have an expression in psychiatry:
"there are no accidents."
243
00:14:57,141 --> 00:15:00,650
Now let's check in
with news and traffic.
244
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:07,550
Dr. Crane, are you denying that most
accidents happen for a reason?
245
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:10,190
No, Dr. Crane,
I believe they do.
246
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,860
I'm reminded of a recent "accident"
involving a four-inch wooden block...
247
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:18,170
...attached to a men's room key which
walked off in somebody's pocket!
248
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:21,588
Clearly an act of hostility,
wouldn't you say?!
249
00:15:21,708 --> 00:15:23,650
Certainly a well-deserved
one considering...
250
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,200
...what an insufferable
prig someone has been today!
251
00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:30,770
You dare call me a prig
after I rescued you...
252
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,760
from that sideshow you call
a radio program? -One more crack...
253
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,747
...about my show and I'll put
that little wooden block...
254
00:15:35,782 --> 00:15:38,180
...in a place you'll always
be able to find it!
255
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:44,070
Group, take five minutes of
quiet introspection!
256
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:53,250
Frasier, I have made a fist and
I'm thinking of using it.
257
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,792
Niles, you are not scaring me...
258
00:15:56,827 --> 00:15:59,850
The thumb goes on the outside,
Niles! On the outside!
259
00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:04,680
-How dare you try to steal
my group! -I don't need your group!
260
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,590
-I've got a group of my own, half a
million strong! -Oh yes, your legions!
261
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:10,050
Why don't you rent a farm...
262
00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:13,360
...pass out the body paint
and call it "Frasier-stock"!
263
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,190
You know, I'm just a little tired
of your condescending attitude.
264
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,688
You have not missed
one single opportunity...
265
00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:18,772
... to run down my show or
grab a book off the shelf...
266
00:16:20,016 --> 00:16:21,270
...to help me "get up to speed!"
267
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,974
My God, you're such
a brilliant healer...
268
00:16:23,009 --> 00:16:24,530
...you've even taken over
the care of my Schefflera!
269
00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:27,270
-Well, you were starving it
of sunlight! -All right, fine.
270
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,880
Let's just give this little dear
all the sunlight it needs!
271
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,590
Are you insane?!
272
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:42,740
If I were, "Doctor,"
you'd never know it!
273
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:56,150
Is that my group?
Group, group, come back, group!
274
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:59,970
I'm very proud of this
show of independence!
275
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:05,260
-I hope you're happy! -If I were,
"Doctor," you'd never know it!
276
00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:08,290
Stop saying that!
277
00:17:09,290 --> 00:17:12,390
-Dr. Crane! -Hello,
Dr. Schachter. -What's going on?
278
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,754
I'm having a discussion
with my brother.
279
00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:16,900
I could hear your discussion
across the hall in my office.
280
00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:19,980
Well, you see, he waltzed in here
like the belle of the ball and yet...
281
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,200
Now, look, you two are
obviously in some distress.
282
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,280
As you know, I am a
specialist in couples therapy.
283
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,228
Now I've never treated
brothers before, but still...
284
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:36,500
...if you step into my office,
I'm sure I can help you.
285
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:40,690
Hold it! Hold it! I never said,
"I'm sure I can help you."
286
00:17:41,090 --> 00:17:44,290
I said, "I may be
able to help you."
287
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:49,080
-See how he twists your words?
-Right here, buddy boy.
288
00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:54,170
Enough! You are doctors! I've never
seen anything like this in my life.
289
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,732
You think he's trying to
steal your patients...
290
00:17:56,767 --> 00:17:59,895
...and you think he's trying
to undermine you as a psychiatrist.
291
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:03,510
But you must know what is
at the root of this problem.
292
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,400
He is!
293
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,100
No.
294
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,990
You have a fundamental
lack of trust.
295
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:15,390
Now it may be so deeply rooted by now
that it's impossible to change...
296
00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,808
...but there are certain
exercises that we try...
297
00:18:18,843 --> 00:18:20,710
...provided that you two are willing.
298
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:29,600
Let's start with the most
basic trust exercise there is.
299
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,700
Now, why don't you simply
stand on this foot stool...
300
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:39,640
...and fall backwards into
your brother's waiting arms...
301
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:43,700
...thus demonstrating that
we can trust each other.
302
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:47,050
-Dr. Crane, why don't you go first?
-Well, all right.
303
00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:51,090
-Just get up there, and let
yourself go. -All right.
304
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,690
Is he standing
directly behind me?
305
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:03,190
Yes, now trust your brother.
306
00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:08,920
I'd feel better if he
were wearing rubber soles.
307
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,820
Oh, for God's sake, Niles, just get
down, I'll go first. All right?
308
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:23,350
-Is he in position?
-Yes! Trust him!
309
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,100
You should know he
catches like a girl!
310
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:35,190
I don't believe this.
Get down, will you?
311
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:39,000
This couldn't be easier!
I get up here...
312
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,100
...I count to three, and you
catch me. One, two, three.
313
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,170
-Why didn't you catch him?!
-Well, you were closer!
314
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,720
-It was your turn!
-"It was my turn"...!
315
00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:54,150
That is it! That is it!
316
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:57,380
In thirty years as
a couples therapist...
317
00:19:57,570 --> 00:20:00,770
...I've never said what
I'm about to say:
318
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:03,390
Give up!
319
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:10,760
It's hopeless! You are pathologically
mistrustful of each another!
320
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:15,130
Competitive to the point of madness!
321
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:20,640
So, trust me, just meet
each other at weddings...
322
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,040
...and funerals, and
the rest of the time...
323
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,820
...stay the hell away
from each other!
324
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:32,310
Now, I am going to limp
to the nearest pub...
325
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:37,020
...and drink until the rest
of me is as numb as my ass!
326
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,160
That's quite a diagnosis.
327
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,560
Yes.
328
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:59,340
But there is no denying it.
We are...
329
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:04,430
-...vindictive and competitive...
-Petty, mistrustful...
330
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,193
As so often in these cases...
331
00:21:06,228 --> 00:21:10,080
...it took someone outside
our situation to point it out to us.
332
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,940
Well, Dad always said it,
but he has no credentials.
333
00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:18,519
Well, there's no arguing
with Dr. Schachter's credentials.
334
00:21:18,554 --> 00:21:21,110
My God, the man
is an expert in his field.
335
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,620
He graduated from
the University of...
336
00:21:27,430 --> 00:21:29,930
...Grenada!
337
00:21:32,730 --> 00:21:34,801
Well, surely that was just his
undergraduate schooling.
338
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:37,430
Oh yes, of course,
his graduate work was done in...
339
00:21:39,510 --> 00:21:41,710
...Aruba!
340
00:21:43,710 --> 00:21:48,010
An all-Caribbean schooling...
well, tally me banana!
341
00:21:50,050 --> 00:21:52,169
I knew he was a fraud the
minute he opened his mouth.
342
00:21:52,204 --> 00:21:54,550
Oh, I'll have him out of his
lease at the end of the week.
343
00:21:54,810 --> 00:21:57,158
Niles, we still have time
to catch a late lunch!
344
00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:59,710
Oh, oh, oh, "Peris" is just around
the corner. -Away we go.
345
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,633
Oh, "Chez Shea" is just as close.
346
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,640
Yes but the food at
"Peris" is much better.
347
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,840
Oh, Niles.
Have you lost your mind?
348
00:22:08,305 --> 00:22:14,516
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