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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,169
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,518
- Here's your French toast.
3
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,486
Eat it as fast
as you possibly can.
4
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,155
- What's the rush, dear?
5
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,189
- I go on maternity leave
6
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,358
as soon as
the breakfast dishes are done.
7
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:02,361
So let's chow down. Okay?
8
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:05,830
- Stephanie, let Mrs. Pesko
enjoy her meal.
9
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,833
- Look, I give birth in a week
10
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,870
and I intend to
pamper myself until then.
11
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,638
So the sooner she polishes off
that French toast,
12
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,140
the sooner I get to
soak in a tub
13
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,709
with cucumber slices
on my eyes.
14
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,182
Still nursing those eggs,
huh, Dick?
15
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:29,054
- Yeah, I like to
linger over my yolks.
16
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,956
It soothes me.
17
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:34,393
Oh, and I wouldn't mind
some fresh coffee.
18
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,361
- Oh, you just love to make
a pregnant woman jump,
19
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,796
don't you?
20
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,467
- Why have we kept her on
for six years?
21
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,001
- We're idiots.
22
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,540
- You two cuties
up for a quick Q&A?
23
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:49,841
- Depends on the Q.
24
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,042
- Here's the quiz, kids.
25
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,479
What kind of parents do you
think Stephanie and I will make?
26
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,714
You're up first, JoJo.
27
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,217
- Well, I think
if you and Stephanie
28
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:03,054
can put aside your selfishness
and realize that this baby
29
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,224
is going to be totally
dependent on you
30
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,392
and will require
constant guidance and--
31
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,495
- Cut!
What a negative Nelly.
32
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,132
I should have
prompted you first.
33
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,136
Here, think fun and read.
34
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,438
- "I think
Michael and Stephanie
35
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,307
"will make
absolutely wonderful parents."
36
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,442
- Thanks, Mrs. L.
37
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,544
That means so much
coming from you.
38
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:26,711
Dick?
39
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,315
- [MUFFLED]
I can't talk, I'm eating.
40
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,385
- Hey, George-man.
41
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:38,023
What kind of parents do you
think Stephanie and I will make?
42
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,591
- I think Michael and Stephanie
43
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,228
will make
absolutely wonderful puppets.
44
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,867
Oh, sorry, parents.
45
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:49,868
- Thanks, G-sters.
46
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,102
That means so much
coming from you.
47
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,671
- When will this be on TV?
48
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:53,705
- Never.
49
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:54,706
I'm putting together a tape
50
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,075
as a gift for my
yet-to-be-born newborn.
51
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,743
- You better erase me.
52
00:02:58,912 --> 00:02:59,744
I don't mind fibbing
53
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,281
to thousands of folks
out in TV land,
54
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,584
but I could never lie to a baby
that hasn't been born yet.
55
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,153
- The show will be on Wednesday
after Jake and the Fatman.
56
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,022
- Great time slot.
57
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,692
I hope the camera doesn't put
ten pounds on me,
58
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,094
like it does to Joe Penny.
59
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:23,402
- Hi Michael, are you asking
everyone the big question?
60
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,204
- Well, I squeezed the correct
answer out of Joanna and George,
61
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,139
but Dick's playing
mute du jour.
62
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,575
- Dick.
63
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,977
- [MUFFLED]
I can't talk while I'm eating.
64
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,546
- What about the others
on your list?
65
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,648
- I've interviewed everyone
except Dr. Grossman
66
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:37,616
and the scrub nurse,
67
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,085
but I figure I could nab them
once we're in delivery.
68
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,553
- Do you actually think
you're bringing that camera
69
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,854
into the delivery room?
70
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:43,955
- Well, how else can I capture
71
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,125
the slapping of our sapling's
posterior for posterity, pookie?
72
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,262
- I forbid you to tape
the birth of our baby.
73
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,930
- Why?
74
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,032
- There is a slim chance
I won't look beautiful
75
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,468
when I'm in labor.
76
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,203
- But a lot of couples
are doing it.
77
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,505
- So? A lot of couples
go square dancing.
78
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,141
That doesn't make it
acceptable behavior.
79
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,577
- Point well taken.
80
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,811
Wouldn't the two of you
like to view a video
81
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,147
of my mama llama
dropping our tottling?
82
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,151
BOTH:
Can't talk, we're eating.
83
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,320
- Michael, look deep
into my eyes.
84
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,788
What are they doing?
85
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:17,822
- Squinting.
86
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,625
- And what does that signify?
87
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,160
- That I'll be singing soprano
if I don't watch my step.
88
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:23,995
- Now promise me
89
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,164
you will not bring that camera
into the delivery room.
90
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,733
- But, Cuppers...
91
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,101
I promise, I will not bring this
camera into the delivery room.
92
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,770
- Good.
93
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,506
You two have stuffed
your faces long enough.
94
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,975
I'm officially
on maternity leave.
95
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,479
[MICHAEL LAUGHS]
96
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,914
- You do intend to keep
your promise, don't you?
97
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,049
- Sorta.
98
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,618
[CHUCKLES]
99
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,520
You know
what I got up here?
100
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,726
- You--you tell us.
101
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,597
- Plans, my friends, big plans.
102
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,404
- Do we have earthquakes
in Vermont?
103
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,874
- Only when the Stones
play the Civic Center.
104
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,212
- My body started rumbling
and it scared me.
105
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,315
- Stephanie, you had
your first contraction.
106
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,284
- I did?
- But I didn't get it on tape.
107
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,724
- Shouldn't we be rushing
to the hospital or something?
108
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:26,725
- Dick's right.
109
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,761
I can't give birth in a filthy
disgusting dining room.
110
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:30,895
- I'll go start up the car.
111
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,799
- Let's take Dick's car in case
I'm early and things get messy.
112
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,469
- So pregnant,
and yet so practical.
113
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,748
- Stephanie,
how are you feeling?
114
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,684
- I think I felt
another earthquake.
115
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,554
- I-It must have been
a-an aftershock.
116
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:57,956
- Where's Michael?
117
00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,558
- He's in the cafeteria.
118
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,861
He was asking the guy
who fills the cigarette machines
119
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,196
what kind of parents you'd make.
120
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,636
- Eww! [EXPELS BREATH]
Huh!
121
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,172
I think I felt
another one of those twingies.
122
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,841
- Contractions, Stephanie.
123
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,477
Don't you remember
that word from Lamaze?
124
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,312
- Well, Michael and I didn't pay
that much attention in class.
125
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,313
We were too busy giggling
126
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,884
at all the other mothers'
godawful maternity outfits.
127
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,423
- Tsk, tsk. I mean,
being pregnant is no excuse
128
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:35,594
for--for throwing all fashion
sense out the window.
129
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,429
- Ain't that the gospel!
130
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:44,035
- You know, that last twingy
smarted a little.
131
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,071
I hope this childbirth thing
isn't painful.
132
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:54,546
- Well, I hear some women
experience a teeny bit of agony.
133
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,649
- Well, that won't do at all.
134
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,719
Quick, I need
comforting thoughts.
135
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,961
- Well, you know...
136
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,497
hang, uh, hang--hang in there.
137
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,571
- Hang in there?
138
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,039
Isn't that
that stupid poster
139
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:24,443
of that mangy kitten
doing chin-ups?
140
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:31,049
- Well yeah, but you know,
the--the message is--is
universal.
141
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,984
- Dick, it's a cliché.
142
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,853
- You're supposed to be
a writer.
143
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:37,355
- I'm sorry
I let you all down.
144
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,058
- Boy, you wouldn't think
a neurosurgeon
145
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,360
would need 12 takes
to get it right.
146
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,630
- Why is that camera
in this room?
147
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,833
I thought I threatened you
about that.
148
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:48,834
- Au contraire , Cuppers.
149
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:49,835
You threatened me
about bringing this
150
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,269
into the delivery room.
151
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:54,339
- Oh, I'm getting my threats
all mixed up.
152
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,876
I'm in labor, you know.
153
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,178
Ow!
154
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,983
I think that twingy was it.
155
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,185
People, it's now time
for me to give birth
156
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,588
to the most beautiful baby
ever born.
157
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,957
- I'll go get Don and Phil.
158
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,925
- The Everly Brothers?
159
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,161
- No, the orderlies.
160
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,329
- Darn!
161
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,232
- Hang in there.
162
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:24,102
- Oh, you're so sweet, Michael.
163
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,842
[♪♪♪]
164
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,150
- All right,
listen up, crew.
165
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,153
We are at two minutes
and counting,
166
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,322
so man your prenatal positions.
167
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,927
Hey Bud, no one's budging.
168
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:52,463
- No. They're on
coffee break, Mikey.
169
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,399
- What? My pet's ready to pop.
170
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:55,734
When's it over?
171
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,168
- About an hour, Mikey.
172
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,837
- An hour coffee break?
173
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,371
- They got a strong union,
Mikey.
174
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,973
- Enough with the Mikeys.
175
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,009
Look, I'm thrilled you guys
could all be here
176
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,677
for my wife's birth,
but time's a-ticking,
177
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,045
so how about you boychicks
cut your break a bit
178
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,147
so we can get this damn thing
on film?
179
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,115
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
180
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,618
- You've got to take that up
with our union rep, Mikey.
181
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,020
- All right, fine,
where is he?
182
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,521
- Right here, Mikey.
183
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,492
- Will you let these guys
work through their break?
184
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:25,764
Hey, afterwards
I'll buy everybody bagels.
185
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,033
[EXCITED CHATTER]
186
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,569
- And cream cheese?
187
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,970
- Yes.
188
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,074
BILL:
Mike, ready for sound check.
189
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,176
- Okay, Bud, you're up.
- Oh, okay.
190
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,852
[SCREAMS]
191
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,224
How's that for you, Bill?
192
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,859
BILL: Nice, Mikey.
You want reverb on that?
193
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,360
- Yeah, it wouldn't hurt.
194
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,162
- Hey, get ready,
she's coming.
195
00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,931
She's coming!
- Alright, everybody.
196
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,500
- Stephanie Gives Birth to the Most Beautiful Baby
197
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,102
Ever Born , take one.
198
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,470
Quiet, please.
199
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,471
On a bell.
200
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,606
[BELL RINGS]
201
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,373
Hurry up, action.
202
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,084
- What the hell are you doing?
203
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,486
You promised
you wouldn't shoot this!
204
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,654
Ow.
205
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,290
- Actually Cuppers, I promised
I wouldn't use my camcorder.
206
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,292
You didn't say anything about
using three studio cams
207
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,861
and a crew of 15.
208
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,831
- Get out!
209
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:33,898
- Huh?
210
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,003
- You will have nothing to do
with the birth of this baby.
211
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,840
- Cuppers, how about
just two studio cams?
212
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,141
- Out!
213
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,578
[MICHAEL CRIES]
214
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,718
What are you all
just standing around for?
215
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,187
- Mikey promised us bagels.
216
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,723
- And cream cheese.
217
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,627
- Out! Out! Out!
218
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:03,762
All of you, out.
219
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,496
You, wait.
220
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:09,534
Thank you.
221
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,939
Out! Out!
222
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,349
- Sorry it took so long,
223
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,686
but I had to wait
for the heads to go down.
224
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:29,854
- Oh, that's okay.
225
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,656
We'd rather have flat beers
226
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,859
than those ones with
the heads on them any day.
227
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,327
- Sure.
228
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:37,662
So, what are you drinking to?
229
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:40,999
- Oh, the wife kicked this pig
out on his skin.
230
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,433
- Were you cheating on her?
231
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:45,003
- Heavens, no.
232
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,404
- You wanna?
233
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,275
- Heavens, no.
234
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,011
My prime-time pumpkin
is moments away
235
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,180
from producing a spinoff.
236
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,818
- His--his wife's expecting
a baby.
237
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,486
Uh, could we get some pretzels,
preferably, you know,
238
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,656
stale ones to go
with our--our flat beers?
239
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,860
- Sorry, we're out of
stale pretzels.
240
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,229
I'll bring you stale popcorn.
241
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,297
[DICK CLEARS THROAT]
242
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,800
- How can my sweetums
throw me out like that?
243
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,569
Was what I did for love
so wrong?
244
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,705
- Michael, you brought
15 burly men
245
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,607
in-into that delivery room.
246
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:23,608
- You're right.
247
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:25,576
I guess I should have gone
without the stunt double.
248
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:28,847
- It's on the house.
249
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:32,483
If Lucky, my boss, asks,
you're a restaurant critic.
250
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,152
- Gotcha.
251
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,421
- Can I say something?
252
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,225
- Is it going to be
a burp, George?
253
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,227
- Not yet.
254
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,630
When my cow, Lizanne,
gave birth,
255
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,933
I was with her
every step of the way.
256
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,203
Do you mind if I sit
for the rest of this?
257
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,204
- No, George.
258
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:57,708
I'm sure it won't spoil
the impact o-of your story.
259
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,979
- Anyway,
when delivery time came,
260
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,481
Lizanne suddenly
didn't want me around.
261
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:07,919
She started mooing
and kicking at my head.
262
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,387
But I stood my ground
263
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:14,659
and I was there to see the birth
of my--well, her child.
264
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,560
- George, maybe--maybe you
better stop there.
265
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,296
You know, you have had
half a beer.
266
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,065
Y-You don't want to
betray a trust.
267
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,600
- Please, Dick,
I wish to hear more.
268
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,468
Continue the yarn.
269
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:29,407
- The upshot is that even though
Lizanne protested,
270
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,844
she did appreciate me
being there.
271
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,616
- She--she told you that,
did she?
272
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:43,922
- Let's just say
she named her calf Farm Boy.
273
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,462
- Golly gee golly,
if George can stand by his cow,
274
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,731
then yumping yiminy,
I can stand by my wife.
275
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:54,899
Right, Dick?
276
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,470
- Can't talk, I'm eating.
277
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:00,738
- I'm going to zip over
to that hospital
278
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:04,008
and help my little heifer
with the birth of our calf.
279
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,777
Whoa, I should have never had
that third sip.
280
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,480
- Yeah, that's the one
that makes your knees wobble.
281
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:10,481
- If I drink any more,
282
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:12,683
I'm going to start telling you
about my Lizanne.
283
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:18,622
- I guess in every man's life,
there's a Lizanne, huh, Dick?
284
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:23,394
- No. No, Farm Boy,
there isn't.
285
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:33,271
WOMAN: Paging Dr. Cake,
Dr. John E. Cake.
286
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,976
Paging Dr. Cake,
Dr. John E. Cake.
287
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,147
- Excuse me.
288
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,450
That mirror's at a bad angle.
I can't see my face.
289
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:51,122
- It's angled so you can watch
the birth of your baby.
290
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,592
- Oh. Why would I
want to watch that
291
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,694
when I could look at
something pretty?
292
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,563
- Some people
think giving birth
293
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,700
is the most beautiful sight
there is.
294
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:06,237
- Well, that's okay
for some people,
295
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:10,708
for some dumb people, to be.
296
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:14,078
But some people ain't me.
297
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,613
Ew!
298
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:18,316
- Are you in pain?
299
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,684
- We Vanderkellens
don't experience pain.
300
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:23,922
Unless you're talking about the
painful burden of great wealth.
301
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,293
- Hi, Stephanie.
302
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,593
I thought you might
need some support
303
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,930
since Michael won't be around.
304
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,966
- They wouldn't let you
wear your sweater
305
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,968
over that gown, huh?
306
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:43,341
- I didn't ask,
and they said no.
307
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,444
- Well, make yourself useful
and adjust that mirror
308
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,079
so I can fix my hair.
309
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,213
- Stephanie,
when you give birth,
310
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,849
it doesn't matter
what you look like.
311
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:55,186
- Joanna, newborns
are very impressionable.
312
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:58,622
I don't want mine
frightened by unruly hair.
313
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:03,061
You might want to run a comb
through that mess.
314
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,032
Eww.
315
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:13,938
I really felt that one.
This is beginning to annoy me.
316
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,007
- I'll go get Dr. Grossman.
317
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:23,014
- You know, Stephanie,
as the father of this child,
318
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,483
Michael really should be here.
319
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,485
- He was there
for the conception.
320
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,456
He didn't think
we needed a film crew then.
321
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,125
Eww!
322
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,861
- Look, Michael
was just overly excited
323
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,196
about the birth of his child.
324
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,297
If he's guilty of anything,
325
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:43,101
it's that he loves you
and the baby too much.
326
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,973
- Eww.
327
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,112
Is there any way
to stop these things?
328
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,447
Breathe into a paper bag
or something?
329
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:03,754
- Well, I hear we're ready
to shoot out a baby.
330
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,524
- No. I've decided
to hold it in
331
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,593
until we find
my over-loving husband.
332
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,229
- Stephanie,
you can't hold a baby in
333
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,997
if it's ready to come out.
334
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,866
- I'm a Vanderkellen,
I can do anything I want.
335
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,903
- You also said a Vanderkellen
doesn't feel pain
336
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,871
and you were wrong about that.
337
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,641
- Oh, is this really
any of your business, Lucy?
338
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,344
- Look, the baby's
a Vanderkellen too,
339
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,613
so if it wants out,
it's coming out.
340
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,016
- But it's also half Harris.
341
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,984
I mean, maybe
the Vanderkellen half
342
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:38,389
could talk the Harris half
into staying inside.
343
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,990
Does that make sense to anyone?
344
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,492
- Not at all.
345
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,264
- Eww!
346
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:54,072
Joanna, I'm scared.
347
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,207
What if the baby
doesn't like me?
348
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:59,077
- Oh Stephanie,
there's no greater love
349
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:02,580
than the love
a child has for his mother.
350
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,249
- That was very
inspirational, Joanna.
351
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:08,018
You and Dick should write
a book of clichés.
352
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,856
Michael!
353
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,326
- I'm here for you,
my little beer nut.
354
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,297
- Okay Joanna, you can go now.
355
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:22,266
- Don't I even get
a "Thanks for stopping by"?
356
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,267
- I'm in labor.
357
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,970
I don't have time to be
my usual polite self.
358
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,974
Oh, all right.
359
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:34,712
Joanna, your hair
doesn't look so bad.
360
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,749
- Thanks. Hang in there.
361
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:44,788
- I had to say something nice.
She seemed so down.
362
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,659
- Hey doc, glad you popped in.
We might have some work for you.
363
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,794
Is this Mrs. Doctor, Doctor?
364
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,131
- Eww.
365
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,565
Michael, this is not
the time or place
366
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,101
for your Dean Martin impression.
367
00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,070
- This is no impression.
I had three sips of beer.
368
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,539
- Michael!
369
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:02,773
Well, right after
this baby's born,
370
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,309
you are drying out
at the Betty Ford Clinic.
371
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,413
You can stay
in my father's suite.
372
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,354
- Eww.
373
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,190
- This looks like it.
374
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,493
- Good gourd, you mean
our cot train is pulling in?
375
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,728
Oh, my petite Guernsey.
376
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,466
I'm so, so sorry
about that little
377
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:31,235
lights, camera,
contractions fiasco.
378
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,970
- Oh Michael, who cares?
379
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:35,406
Now what did we learn
in that baby class?
380
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,709
- That most of the other parents
drive cheap domestic cars.
381
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,081
- We really
should have taken notes.
382
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,016
- Jump back, I do remember
something else!
383
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,985
Pull, Steph, pull.
384
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,591
- That doesn't sound right.
385
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:56,960
- You know, pushing
is another way to go.
386
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,400
- Push, Steph, push.
387
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:08,673
- Michael, is that a bead of
perspiration on my forehead?
388
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:10,675
- Oh Lordy, it is.
389
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,644
You want me to clear the room
before anyone else sees it?
390
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,680
- No, that won't be necessary.
391
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:19,417
I've decided it's okay
if I perspire during labor.
392
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,286
- You'll do anything
for this baby, won't you?
393
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,856
- Eww.
394
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,825
I feel it coming.
395
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,729
Quick, tilt the mirror down
so I can see.
396
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,798
- Away from your face, Cuppers?
Are you sure?
397
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,335
- Yes. It doesn't matter
what I look like.
398
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,304
I want to see our beautiful baby
come into this world.
399
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,639
- Oh, sweet pea, I don't know
when I've loved you
400
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:42,773
as much as right now.
401
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,142
- Shut up and tilt
the damn mirror down.
402
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,449
- You got it, my bellowing babe.
403
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:56,554
[SCREAMS]
404
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:02,025
Oh my God,
the miracle of birth.
405
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,227
- I can see our baby.
406
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:04,262
- I can see it too, Steph.
407
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,998
I see a little bald head,
with glasses.
408
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,237
- That's the doctor.
409
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,939
- You hear that, Steph?
Our baby's a doctor.
410
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,877
- You're looking at
Dr. Grossman.
411
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,813
- Oh muffin, you're giving birth
to a Jewish doctor.
412
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:29,320
- Oh Michael, you're so stupid
when you're drunk.
413
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,855
- My son, the Jewish doctor.
414
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,193
- Congratulations, it's a girl.
415
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,429
- My daughter,
the Jewish doctor.
416
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:45,903
Oh Steph, aren't the two of us
just so wonderful?
417
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:49,640
- No, Michael, the three of us.
418
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:52,543
- Oh Cuppers, I love you so.
419
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:53,877
- Oh, Michael!
420
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,348
Not in front of the kid.
421
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,885
[BABY CRIES]
422
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:08,526
- I think
Michael and Stephanie
423
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:11,662
will make absolutely
wonderful parents.
424
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:12,663
- Oh, absolutely.
425
00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:15,800
Michael and Stephanie
will make wonderful parents.
426
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:16,801
- I think Michael and Stephanie
427
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,570
will make
absolutely wonderful parents.
428
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,305
- I think
that Michael and Stephanie
429
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:25,409
will make
absolutely wonderful parents.
430
00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,713
- I think Michael and Stephanie
431
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:32,383
will make
absolutely wonderful parents.
432
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:34,719
Can I go now?
433
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:46,930
[♪♪♪]
434
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:13,591
- Meow!
32417
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