All language subtitles for Newhart S05E09

Morning, George.

Morning.

[ Sighs ]

[ Clears throat ]
Something wrong, George?

Nothing that can't wait
until we're alone.

George, it's okay.
They're not listening.

Oh, okay, Dick.

My paycheck bounced.

It's, uh, obviously--
obviously a bank error.

I'll...

I'll call this morning and
straighten it out, George.

Yeah, that must be it.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

George, what-- what
are you doing?

We'll just call my last two
weeks' work a freebie

between friends.

George, I have money.
I'm liquid, okay?

Dick, it's nothing to
be ashamed of.

Come on, let me lend you
a little money

until this thing blows over.

Whoa, clam up.

Until what blows over?

Nothing. Nothing's blowing over.

-My paycheck bounced. -What?

Sorry, Dick. She wore me down.

Joanna, it's a bank error.

Just tell me how much you need,
and it's yours.

George...

Uh, uh, 25,000 dollars.

Gee, Dick, that's almost
half of what I have.

But you are my best friend.

Ho-- Hold it.

George, are you saying

you could write a check for
25,000 dollars,

and I could take it to the bank,
and they would cash it?

Sure. I wouldn't
write you a check

that wasn't any good, Dick.

George, where did you get
that kind of money?

Well, sort of from you guys.

Geez, I bled ya dry, didn't I?

George, you couldn't possibly
have saved 50,000 dollars

from what we pay you.

Well, my father left me some,

and my room and board
here is free.

The only thing that costs me
money is my Beaver Lodge dues

and my Tool of the Month club.

Of course, now that I'm
out the 25 grand,

I guess I'll have to give up the
Tool of the Month club.

Next month was gonna
be a ratchet.

Honestly, George, we don't
need your money.

George, we're in good shape.

Not-- Not as good as you are,
but...

We're-- we're doing fine.

Well, that's-- that's
great to hear.

I guess I'll get to work.

I've got a door to paint,

a banister to sand and a
check to repair.

Boing! Boing! Boing!

Stephanie, that
paycheck is good.

That's not what I heard.

I just got off the phone
with the bank.

They said it was their error.
The check will clear.

Oh, good.

Would it be possible for me to
be paid in cash from now on?

No.

-Michael! -Hold that thought.

Why, Dick, you-- you look
a little drawn.

In fact, I'd say a
bit overdrawn.

[ Giggles ]

Oh, cupcake, uh, photo session
this Friday at 6:00.

Perfect.

Early evening is one of my five
best times of day.

Didn't you two get your
pictures taken last month?

Joanna, you'd get your
picture taken a lot too

if you looked like this.

Michael, I'm in the mood.

Let's go upstairs and practice
posing in the mirror.

Race you.

Uh, I'm done
refinishing the banister.

It passed the sliding test,
Dick.

George, d-- don't you think
you're a little old

to be sliding down banisters?

I ran my hand along it, Dick.

You know, George, I've, uh--
I've been thinking about that,

uh, 50,000 dollars of yours.

Instead of just having it
sit in the bank,

maybe you should
invest some of it.

Oh, no, Dick.

My father invested in the
stock market once.

1929.

We never saw that 10
dollars again.

George, that was just a fluke.

1929 was the biggest stock
market crash in history.

To date.

George-- We Utleys have
always been poor, Dick.

When I was little,

and all the other kids went down
to the nickel movies,

I had to play by myself down
at Vickers Park.

After the show, a couple of my
friends would come back

and act out the movie for me.

When I finally got to see
some of those movies,

I was disappointed.

I mean, to me-- to me, Johnny
Blinko was Scarlett O'Hara.

But-- But George, I mean,
you have money now.

You should go out and--
and enjoy it.

I can't think of anything
I really need.

Yeah, but half the fun of having
money is-- is spending it on--

on things you don't need.

What's the other half?

The--

The-- the point is, George,

I-- I can't tell you how many
happy times I've had

buying things that-- that--
that I didn't need.

It, uh-- You-- you see this pen?
I-- I didn't need it.

I mean, you should-- You should
go out and treat yourself.

You know, go out and do
something a-- a little crazy.

Gee, Dick, I could never be
as crazy as you.

Well, George, you--

you don't have to shoot for
the moon right off.

I'll tell you what, we'll--
we'll go into town,

we-- we'll hit the stores, and
we'll do some shopping.

Uh, okay, if you
think we should.

I wanna buy some gum anyway.

George, you've got to find
something in here.

Hey, what a great-looking ball.

There you go.

We sure could have a neat game
of catch with this.

No, you-- You-- you don't
throw it, George.

Oh.

-Can I bounce it? -N-- no, no.

Just put it on the floor.

Oh.

-Do I kick it? -No, no.

You'd-- you'd break it.

Well, so far this is the worst
ball I've ever seen.

Watch this, George.

What do you think, George?

Kinda scary, Dick.

Oh, George, here's--

here's something that'd be
perfect for you.

Does it move?

No. No, it's an
electronic memo minder.

Keep track of all your
appointments.

Oh, neat.

What appointments, Dick?

George, everybody has
appointments.

Well, I do have a Beaver
meeting every Thursday.

But as you see, I
remembered that.

Dick, can we go home yet?

We've been to eight stores, and
I'm about shopping spree'd out.

Technically, it isn't a spree

until you've bought at
least one item.

Well, okay, Dick. What does
this blue thing do?

Oh, that's a-- a
biofeedback machine.

You'll love this, George.

Just, uh, put your
fingers in there.

[ High-pitched beep ]

And as I relax, the
pitch will go down.

[ Beep rises in pitch ]

Well, I mean, who can
relax with this--

this darn nuclear thing
hanging over our heads?

[ Low-pitched beep ]

Hey, I kinda like this.

Finally.

Oh, great, it's only 200
dollars, George.

[ Beep rapidly rises in pitch ]

Wow, I-- I don't think I've ever
heard it go that high before.

Hey-- Hey, aren't you Dick
Loudon from Vermont Today?

I, uh-- I guess I am.

You're the talk of the town.

So you'll understand that any
purchases you make today

will have to be cash only.

Wow.

I guess I don't have to ask how
the shopping went.

[ Chuckles ]

I'll go out and get the
rest of the stuff.

There's more?

You really got George
to loosen up.

Sort of, yeah.

Sort of?

Yeah, well, sort of all-- all
of these are mine.

Well, I was-- I was simply
trying to show George

how to spend money
by-- by example.

Well, while you were busy
buying Vermont,

did you happen to
remember your wife?

Sure. Sure, I did. I-- I--

I got you this, um-- Ah.

Electronic memo minder.

Oh, it's wonderful, honey.

This will exchange up
real nicely.

How are you, Dick?

Fine, JJ.

You know, Dick, I know you and I
have had our differences,

but down at the station we like
to think of ourselves as,

well, one big family.

We do?

Yeah, I-- I guess you're sort of
like the father of our family.

Maybe because you're kind of
older, a bit bossy,

not as fun-loving as
the rest of us.

Anyway, word is you
and the missus

are pretty close to living out
of a shopping cart.

So everyone down at the station
took up a collection

and bought you some groceries.

Here you go. Enjoy. And
remember: ration.

JJ...

We're not on the skids.

I know you're a proud man, Dick,

and you probably have your
own way out of this,

but before you start going after
the neighbourhood pets--

JJ, take it back.

Uh, Dick, do you want me to put
your home laser light show

with the rest of your stuff?

That-- That'll be fine, George.

Well... it's good to know our
charity won't go to waste

on a man without a brand-new
laser light show.

Geez, no wonder you're broke.

It's a sickness. Get help.

More?

George is never gonna
learn how to shop

if there's nothing on
Earth left to buy.

Well, George-- Uh, George
bought something.

Oh, yeah? What?

Cable-ready TV monitor. 80
watt FM receiver.

Multi-disc CD player.

Linear tracking
programmable turntable.

Honey, we'd better
get outta here

so George can read the manual

and learn how to do
things like this.

[ Merry music and cartoon
sound effects ]

Oh, boy.

[ Sound off ]

[ Sighs ] We didn't even
stop off for gum.

Whoo, new suit.

Hey, what else?

George, it's nice of you to
take us out to dinner,

but LeClec is very expensive.

Oh, it's okay, Joanna.

I've decided Dick's right, and I
should live a little.

Besides, after about 1,400 meals
here, I figure I owe you one.

But, George, are you sure you're
comfortable with all this?

At first, it felt a little
strange spending so much money,

but Dick told me I'd warm up to
it, and I think I am.

Would you like a new pair of
earrings to go with that dress?

That's okay, George.
Dinner will be fine.

Here I come.

Ready for another
Stephanie/Michael portrait.

Every picture frame's
dream come true.

Oh, George.

I heard you have money and don't
know how to spend it.

Well, I'm here to help.

I'm a perfect size 3, and my
best color is peach.

Stephanie, George is not going
to buy you clothes.

Okay, accessories are
just as good.

Stephanie.

Boy, you try to be giving.

Hi, Steph.

Say "Brie".

I don't know if I can
muster a smile.

What's wrong, sweetcakes?

Joanna says George can never buy
me another thing ever ever again

as long as I live.

Well, I'm ready. Let's
strap on the feedbag.

Whoa, it seems we've got some
fashion competition here.

Even George is going plaidless.
What's up?

George invited us to
dinner at LeClec.

Oh, great.

No gifts for Steph, but
high-priced yum-yums for them.

That's fair.

Well, you could join
us for yum-yums

if that means you
wanna eat with us.

No, no, they can't.

They have a-- a pressing
photo session.

Oh, no problem. That
shutterbug can wait.

We'll photograph even better

in the afterglow of an
expensive meal.

It could cheer me up.

Good news, George. We'll come.

Michael, don't try to weasel
your way into a free meal.

It's a great idea, Dick.

It's another chance for me to
spend even more money.

That's what we're after, right?

You sure that guy works for
the restaurant, Dick?

George, you'll get your car
back when we leave.

Good evening. Do you have
a reservation?

Uh, yes. George Utley.

Utley. Utley.

Thank you.

Madame.

Michael, do you see what I see?

I'll take care of it.

Hey, is that who I think it is?

Thank you, Michael.

Bonsoir.
I am your maitre 'd, Charles.

My name is George,
and this is...

Joanna.

And, uh--

Stephanie.

Michael.

George, you don't have to--

Uh, Dick.

And your head waiter
will be Thomas.

Wow!

How do people in France
afford to eat?

But I'm glad I'm here.

-Thomas? -No.

I'm Neil.

Thomas?

John.

Would you care to begin
with a little wine?

Thomas?

Elton, your wine steward.

Now, where the heck is Thomas?

Uh, bring us a bottle of your
best, and keep it flowing.

Michael, we're not spending all
of George's money in one gulp.

Hey, Dick, loosen up.

Bring me a bottle and keep the
rolls flowing too.

George, that could be a
100-dollar bottle of wine.

[ Sighs ] Boy, we're really
living tonight, aren't we, Dick?

Good evening. I am Thomas.

I am told there is some
rush to order here.

Geez, he doesn't look at all
like I pictured.

This evening the
sp�cialit� de la maison

is Chateaubriand Bouquetiere
with Chanterelle mushrooms

and skewered vegetables
de Robichaud.

Mm, that sounds good. Is that
okay with everybody?

I love a good Chateaubriand.

Um, would-- would it be possible

to get a salad with--
with the special?

Oh, yes, monsieur.

We have a very nice
endive salad.

Of course, uh, that
would be extra.

Endive?

Um, I-- I think I'll-- I'll
stick with the French stuff.

Good choice, monsieur.

The French stuff is
very good tonight.

George, this is really lovely.

Thank you for taking us out for
such a nice evening.

Hey, I'm having a great time.

And I really wanna thank Dick

for showing me my new
better way of life.

Well, you're-- you're welcome,
George.

Gee, that salad
really looks good.

I think I'll order one.

A salad?

You're ordering a salad?
What's the matter, Dick?

A special isn't enough for you?

Please, Dick. You're
causing a scene.

Uh, uh, George, you know,

I don't have to-- to
order the salad.

Oh, sure.

Wait and go nuts on the
dessert tray.

George.

Michael.

Everyone's looking at me,
and for bad reasons.

Probleme, monsieur?

Uh, my-- my friend had a-- had
a, uh, salad tantrum.

Oh, I'm sorry, monsieur. The
order has already gone in.

You will have to settle your
bill before running out.

All right. How-- How much is it?

I'm sorry, monsieur.

We are not able to
accept the check.

It's all right. I have
two pieces of ID.

That is the problem,
monsieur Loudon.

We know who you are.

Michael, this one is on you.

Um, wait, we-- we shouldn't
have to pay for this.

We had a verbal agreement
with those people.

I'm sorry, monsieur. That is
not legally binding.

Okay.

We'll pay for the food, but
there's no reason

we should have to pay for that
100-dollar bottle--

[ Cork pops ]

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Well, I-- I guess I still
owe you a meal.

Forget it, George.

Well, I guess I owe you an
explanation, too.

No, no. No, you don't.

[ Clears throat ]

Of course, I-- I couldn't
help wondering--

I'm sorry, Dick, I tried to
enjoy spending money,

but it doesn't make me happy
the way it does you.

It sorta makes me crazy.

I guess I'm just screwed up,
huh, Dick?

You're-- You're okay, George.

I mean, as bizarre as
it may sound,

you just weren't cut out for
a life of excess.

But everyone told me I
should spend my money

if I wanted to be happy.

Everybody was wrong.

That was mainly you, Dick.

Well, then, then, I was wrong.

Come on, Dick. You're
never wrong.

I was wrong about this.

Who'd have thought you'd ever be
wrong about anything?

There's a first time
for everything.

Gosh. Dick Loudon was wrong.

All right.

The-- the-- the point is,

that it-- it's all right to--
to not spend money

if-- if there's absolutely
nothing that-- that you want.

Well, actually, there's
something I sorta want,

but it's kinda silly.

Well, nothing you really want
could-- could be silly, George.

I want a jungle gym, Dick.

[ Clears throat ]

You-- you might wanna keep that
to yourself, George.

It's not for me, Dick.

It's for the playground
at Vickers Park.

All the equipment's rusted
and falling apart.

I thought it'd be
nice for the kids

to have it all shiny and new,
like when I was little.

Maybe they could even
have a stage

where they could act
out the movies.

George, I-- I think that's a-- a
great use for your money.

Gee, Dick, but you're
always wrong.

I-- I'm not wrong about this.

Great. I finally got what
I really want.

And this.

But, George, most of them
are-- are in boxes.

We can return 'em tomorrow.

The home entertainment center
isn't in a box, Dick.

You know, uh-- You know, George,
since--

I mean, since it is partially
my fault that you--

you bought this,

um, you know, it's only--
only... only fair that, um,

I take this state of the art
baby off your hands.

Gosh, you're the best.

Gee, Dick, does it have
to be a check?

Should old
acquaintance be forgot

Dick! Joanna!

Dick! Joanna!

Dick! Joanna!

What's this?

It's a miracle, Joanna.

Should old
acquaintance be forgot

And days of auld lang syne

What are you talking about?

I'm sorry I got mad
at you before,

but everyone made me realize, it
wasn't you talking,

it was the disease.

The whole town got together and
took up a collection

to help you in your
time of need.

To Dick Loudon, the
richest man in town.

Should old acquaintance
be forgot and...

Wait, will you-- will
you-- will stop?

And listen to me. This--

This is all very nice of you,

but-- but we have money,
lots of money.

We don't-- We don't
need any of yours.

So-- so please, take this and--
and-- and go back to your homes.

Okay. Have it your way.

Just better hope you'll never
need our help... Dick.