All language subtitles for Newhart S05E08

Honey, my carving knives came
just in time for Thanksgiving.

G-- uh, George, you should
come and see these.

I've seen knives, Dick.

Not-- not like these, George.

Next to this beauty, Excalibur
is a butter knife.

Honey, I'm glad you
always get so excited

about Thanksgiving.

It's a little weird,
but I'm glad.

Joanna, it's only the best
holiday of the year.

As soon as you-- you wake up,
there's a--

there's a major parade

featuring the best in cartoon
balloons, which--

And just in time for my favorite
football game of the year.

Then all eyes are riveted on me

as I slice into a succulent
18-pounder with these beauties.

You're in a good mood right now,
aren't you, Dick?

Yeah, you know, um,
underneath it all, George.

Try to hold onto that feeling,
'cause I got bad news.

What-- what's that, George?

The electrical wiring in this
place is for the birds.

The whole inn should be
done over soon.

How-- how soon?

Before there's a big fire.

That soon.

And you're going to need
professional electricians

to do it.

Can't you do it, George?

Yeah, but it would take a year.

Of course, the fire will
probably put me

even further behind.

Well, then, you'll have
to get someone.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl, and
this is my other brother Darryl.

Hi, guys.

Ooh, new sharp cutlery.

Darryl, this is the perfect
opportunity for you

to show these folks your
fledgling juggling skills.

May-- maybe another time, guys.

What, uh-- what-- what
can we do for you?

Well, we feel that over
the last year,

we've grown close
enough to you folks

to invite you to partake in one
of our most intimate rituals.

What's-- what's that, guys?

We'd like you to join us
for Thanksgiving.

You celebrate Thanksgiving.

Who better to give thanks than
three brothers who have it all?

So will you join us?

It sounds-- sounds yummy, but
we-- we've already--

already made our
Thanksgiving Day plans.

Darn it.

Oh, well, how about firming up
the date for next year?

Darn it again.

Just got off the phone set--
setting that one up.

Oh. Well, we'd commit to
the next year,

but I'm not sure if we're free.

Come on, Darryl.

Let's go home and check our
decade-at-a-glance.

Don't worry, Dick.

The first estimate on this sort
of electrical work

is usually kind of high, but I
know a couple of tricks

to get the price way down low.

Well, we've been through
the whole place.

Here's our estimate.

Wow. I thought it'd be a
lot more than this.

Jump on it, Dick!

This can't be your best price.

I don't see how it
could be any lower.

I-- I guess we'll
have to take it.

We can start work right away,
but...

uh, you're gonna be without
electricity for a few days.

That means no heat and no light.

There's-- there's no way
you can work with--

with the electricity on?

Are you trying to fry
one of my guys?

No. We'll-- we'll make do.

I'll write up the work order.

Great news, everyone!

My parents have
invited all of us

to their house for Thanksgiving.

Oh, that's-- that's very
thoughtful, Stephanie,

but traditionally, we-- we stay
home for Thanksgiving.

Honey, we can break our
tradition this year.

No. No, we can't. We-- we-- we
have too much fun, uh,

having Thanksgiving here.

You have too much fun.

I have to cook all day and
clean up all night.

I-- I help clean up.

No, you don't.

You always stuff yourself until
you can hardly walk,

then you groan about how bloated
you are and go up to bed early.

Yeah, but when I'm going,
I always,

you know, take a couple plates
into the kitchen.

Dick, come on. We should go.

And while we're gone, the
electrical work can be done.

[ Chuckles ] I mean,
no electrician

is gonna work on Thanksgiving.

Sure we will.

Wow, these guys are
unbelievable!

Honey, I-- I don't
think it's fair

that only you and I
make the decision.

I mean, George-- George loves
our Thanksgivings here.

He-- he may not wanna go.
R-- right, George?

Are you crazy? I love
that giant mansion.

Picking up on the mood of
the room yet, Dick?

O-- okay, we'll go. But I'm
bringing my knives.

Hi, all.

Is everybody ready to
gobble gobble

a Thanksgiving meal at Casa
de Vanderkellen?

Here's a special
Thanksgiving gift

for a person I'm
particularly thankful for.

A stuffed turkey! Get it?

Oh, Michael. He's so cute.

I'm gonna call him Terry Turkey
because Tom is such a clich�.

And I'll bring him home with me
to meet my Petey Rabbit.

Who's Petey Rabbit?

He's my favorite cuddle bunny.
We grew up together.

We'd still be together,

but I couldn't bear to have
him see me as a maid.

Well, Steph, as much as you love
that rabbit, I bet

that after a few minutes
cuddling this clucker,

that bunny's beat.

I don't know, Michael.
Petey's pretty special.

But I'm sure he'll love Terry.

Well, cupcake, don't worry.

Even if he doesn't,
that's just present uno

for the 12 days of Thanksgiving.

I thought it was the 12
days of Christmas.

No, it's the 25 days
of Christmas.

Hi, Dick.

You just missed a
knockout game of tennis

in the Vanderkellen dome.

I slaughtered your se�orita .

Stephanie was the judge.

That way I get to sit
above everybody.

Dick, are you gonna
have some fun

or are you just gonna
keep pouting?

I'm a grown man. I do not pout.

Then, why are you just
sitting around moping

in this lovely mansion?

Because I want Thanksgiving at
my house with my turkey

and my knives.

Dick's being a baby.

Come on, Steph.

Let's go upstairs to the theatre
and watch Captain Eo again.

You know, it's very rude of
you to act this way

around the Vanderkellens.

Act what way? I'm
reading a book.

They don't know
anything's wrong.

Still sitting there pouting,
are we?

I'm not pouting. I'm having
a wonderful time.

I know him, Art, and
he's pouting.

You can't just sit
there like this.

I spend millions to make this
house a fun place to be.

You almost make being
rich seem stupid.

It's not stupid. Believe me,
I'm--

I'm having a great
time right here.

Is he still pouting?

No.

I don't know one single person
who's been able to resist

all this house has to offer.

How about a swim in
the heated pool?

Your choice: salt or fresh.

I'm fine, really.

Then, how about a zoom on a
jetpack around the house?

Buck Loudon!

No, thanks. I'm really fine.

I know. How about a nice
round of golf?

Don't you think it's a
little cold outside?

Who said anything about
going outside?

Now, that-- that might
be interesting.

I knew it. House: 1, Pouter:
nothing!

Thanksgiving is one of Arthur's
favorite holidays, too.

It certainly is. It all dates
back to colonial days

when my ancestors broke
bread with the Indians

and then made some of the most
lopsided land deals in history.

Those were the days.

Oh, there you are.

You've gotta see this
incredible football game.

It's only halftime, and the
score is tied 31 to 31.

Oh, honey, you're back to your
old Thanksgiving self.

Honey, even you would enjoy
a football game

on a screen that big.

You-- you can actually lip-read
the players cursing.

I mean, this-- this may be my--
my best Thanksgiving ever.

The-- the game couldn't
be more exciting,

they're-- they're preparing a
25-pound turkey and,

uh, Arthur's even gonna let
me use my knives.

He pouted me into it.

Halftime's almost over, guys.

It's still 31-31,

and they're predicting an even
closer second half.

Mommy, have you seen
Petey Rabbit?

I think it's time he met his new
friend, Terry Turkey.

[ Goofy voice ] "Hyuk, I can't
wait. Hyuk hyuk."

Michael, he doesn't
sound like that.

Petey the Rabbit. I haven't
thought about that toy in years.

Arthur, do you remember
where we put it?

Oh, we gave it away, didn't we?

You what?

Yes, to charity. We gave away a
lot of your old things.

Why don't you just give away
Grandma? She's old.

Now, take it easy, princess.

If it means that much to you,

we'll go out first thing
tomorrow morning

and buy you a dozen
brand-new Petey Rabbits.

Well, the new synthetics are
much more loveable anyway.

I don't want a new one!
I loved Petey!

Come on, Steph. You-- you
still have Terry.

Get that buzzard out of my face!

I know what'll bring that smile
back, princess. A blank check.

All better?

There are some things that
money can't replace.

Now, Stephanie, you realize I
don't allow that kind of talk

in this house.

Fine. Then, we'll leave.

Dick, get the car.

What?

Stephanie, please. It's
Thanksgiving.

I will not stay in a house
where people obviously

don't care about my feelings.
Or Petey's.

Uh-- uh, Stephanie, wait.

I mean, think-- think carefully
about-- about what you're doing

until at least after the game,
and I carve that big juicy bird.

Be-- beside, I'm sure that--
that Petey would--

would feel that--

that you're-- that
you're overreacting.

I am not!

And-- and-- and I'm sure your--
your father realizes,

uh, where he was wrong.

I am never wrong. Come, Marian.

Oh, Arthur!

Come on, Michael. Let's pack!

But-- but, Steph. [
Goofy voice ]

Terry thinks that we--

Oh, shut up! You don't even know
what he sounds like!

Oh, my God. It's
freezing in here.

Yeah, the electricians
were working today,

so there's no
electricity and no heat.

Oh.

Unless they finished.

Seem any brighter to you, Dick?

George, get the kerosene lamps.

Maybe we should just
stay at a hotel.

I'm not having Thanksgiving
dinner in a tiny hotel room.

It's-- it's bad enough I missed

the football game of
the century.

Well, at least you got to hear
it on the way home.

Yeah, it's the only time in
history a radio announcer said

he couldn't do
justice to the game

and begged people to find
the nearest TV.

I'm glad you're all so worried
about your petty problems.

I suffered the loss of a
stuffed animal here.

Yeah.

How could they do that?

How could they not know how much
Petey meant to me?

And who knows what else
they gave away!

Maybe I had a couple of sisters.

Look, I-- I--

I think we're just suffering the
holiday blahs here.

But, uh-- but let's-- let's
make the best of it.

We can, uh-- We can build a fire
and-- and cook up a--

a nice, uh, a nice holiday feast
in-- in-- in the dining room.

Well, I don't think
we have much.

We weren't planning to be home,
so I didn't go shopping.

Uh, the electrician's made a
mess in the dining room, Dick.

Oh, it-- it's all right, George.
We'll eat here in the lobby.

It-- it'll be like a-- a
Thanksgiving picnic.

In hell.

Can't we go to a restaurant?

They're all booked solid.

Let's-- Let's try to
think positive.

It-- it-- it can't be that bad.

All we have is Velveeta
and mayonnaise.

Yum.

Just trying to be positive.

Well, that's right, everybody.

After all, Thanksgiving isn't
about what you eat.

It's-- it's being thankful
for all you have.

Now, who wants a
piece of cheese?

Wait, wait, wait. I wanna
use my knives.

I'd like a piece of dark cheese,
please.

Okay, now, who'd like some
mayonnaise with their cheese?

Yeah. Me-- me neither.

I'd like some, Dick. I really
think it'll be good.

Well, I-- I guess before we eat,
we should bow our heads and--

and give thanks.

You've got to be kidding.

We better pray fast, Dick.

My cheese is starting to
freeze up here.

Holiday greetings.

Oh, Darryl, it's just them.

We was thinkin' it might be
the Thanksgivin' Elf.

I've never heard of the
Thanksgiving Elf.

Neither did we.

We was hopin' to be the
first to discover

a brand-new holiday character.

Well, as you can see, we exceed
elf height requirements.

I suppose.

But who knows what power of
disguise they may have.

We're not elves, okay?

Well, what are you doin' home?

Our plans didn't work out.

But we're-- we're making do.

I see. Mm, Velveeta.
Interesting choice.

But I just wanna say,

our invitation to have
Thanksgivin' dinner with us

is still open.

And we do offer the
added incentive

of heat, light and a decent
eating surface.

That's good enough for me.
Come on, Michael.

You w-- you wanna go?

Dick. Heat and light.

Yeah, Dick. This doesn't taste
as good as I thought it would.

Okay, we'll go.

Whoo-wee! Come on, Darryl.
Company for Thanksgivin' dinner!

Okay, prepare your pie holes for
some taste-bud titillation.

Darryl's been slavin' in
the kitchen all day

whippin' up some of the finest
eatin' since Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Day?

You know, that day near
the end of winter.

When the cute little groundhog
sticks his head out of the hole,

sees Darryl's shadow,
and we eat him.

It's tradition.

What-- what-- what's your
Thanksgiving tradition?

Turkey, of course.

Of course.

You-- you mean the animal

that goes "gobble gobble",
right?

Right. You should get
around more.

We took the liberty of arrangin'
the seatin'. Boy, girl, Darryl.

I-- I was-- I was gonna
suggest that.

Steph, are you sure you're gonna
be able to eat here?

I'm so depressed about Petey,

I don't care about
anything anymore.

Except my appearance, of course.

Now I know your innards

are gonna do backflips
over the turkey,

but wait'll you taste Darryl's
tempting side dishes.

What kind of side dishes?

You know, yams, stuffing,
cranberry sauce.

Oh.

You folks don't know
a can of beans

about Thanksgiving, do you?

Hi, Larry. Do you know
where my daught--?

Oh, there you are.

Mommy! Daddy!

I don't know what
you're doing here,

but I really don't
wanna see you.

You may not wanna see us,

but would you like to see
this little fella?

Petey Rabbit!

Michael, this is my
Petey Rabbit!

Wow, Steph, he's-- he's all you
said he was, and more.

We contacted the charity
we gave him to,

and, fortunately, they hadn't
found a home for him yet.

Oh, thank you, Daddy! Mommy!

It was worth missing the big
game to see this, huh, Dick?

Oh, it's so good to see my
Petey Rabbit again.

When I was five years old,

I drew a little heart on the
bottom of his foot.

Where is it?

This isn't the real Petey. This
is an impostor rabbit.

I told you she
wouldn't fall for it.

But, princess, doesn't the fact

that I tried to fool you
count for something?

Stephanie, your father went
to a lot of trouble

to get you that toy.

Oh, Mother, a
Vanderkellen forced to shop

is hardly an agony.

The stores didn't have
anything like it.

Your father had to open one
of his factories

and have them make a replica
from old photographs.

Really?

Open on a holiday, that's
triple overtime.

You ruined hundreds of people's
Thanksgivings just to save mine?

Oh, Daddy, you are sensitive.

I'm just sorry you didn't
like the duplicate.

It cost me 10,000 dollars
to manufacture.

It did?

Wally!

That's my daughter. Now, listen,
Loudons.

You're all invited
back to our house

for a late Thanksgiving dinner.

We can 'copter to
Newport in an hour.

It's-- it's a-- a tough choice,
but we--

we did make a commitment to the
Vanderkellens first.

We understand. We'll just keep
changin' seats like usual,

to make our tiny
family seem bigger.

Actually, Daddy, we did accept
Larry's invitation.

I think we should stay.

Why did she have to pick
now to be nice?

Well, if you won't come with us,
can we join you?

Are you kiddin'? The more elbows
bumpin' the merrier.

Arthur!

Oh, come on, Marian.

We haven't been in a dive
like this for ages.

Look, swivel chairs. Whee!

That's the Thanksgiving spirit,
Art.

Okay, Darryl. Bring on the eats.

Now that the food is here,

I think that the head of
each household

should say a prayer of thanks.

I'll start.

Lord, before we chow down,

thank You for the many
critters in our pot

and all our nice, although
off-beat, friends.

Take it, Art.

We thank You for keeping
our family together

and for not letting Congress go
too nuts on tax reform.

We-- we thank You for the-- the
abundance in our lives

and for the food we're
about to eat.

Please protect us.

All right, I've been waiting a
long time for this.

Excuse me,

but I don't think this is the
appropriate time to juggle.

I'm-- I'm sorry.

Well, go ahead.
Stuff your faces.

I-- I-- I think, uh,

maybe the head of each
household should, uh--

should take the first bite.

It's good.

Prayers--
Prayers are answered.

This stuffing's
particularly delicious.

It is, yes.

Unusual.

You flatter Darryl.

Gettin' a hold of the secret
ingredient was quite a coup,

bein' this far from
Groundhog Day and all.

Oh, come on, you
Thanksgiving poopers.

Good is good.

Meow.