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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:04,102 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,080 ( music playing ) 3 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,222 - HOLA, MUCHACHOS. 4 00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:00,391 DONDE ESTA MY MAIN SQUEEZE? 5 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,997 - STEPHANIE, YOUR BLITHERING IDIOT IS HERE. 6 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:07,665 - THANKS, DICK. 7 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,335 STEPH AND I HAVE SOME MAJOR CELEBRATING TO DO. 8 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,303 - DARN, IT'S NOT A MISTAKE. 9 00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,304 - WHAT'S THE MATTER? 10 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,973 - THEY'VE REPLACED MY FAVORITE PROGRAM. 11 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:19,444 JUST WHEN YOU FIND A SHOW THAT'S INTELLIGENT, STIMULATING 12 00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,979 AND DOESN'T TALK DOWN TO YOU, THEY YANK IT. 13 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,482 - WHAT SHOW, GEORGE? - "BARNABY JONES." 14 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,652 - WHOA, COINCIDENCE-ARAMA. 15 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,787 THIS TIES DIRECTLY INTO MY CELEBRATION. 16 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,589 - YOU'RE CELEBRATING THE CANCELLATION 17 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:32,990 OF "BARNABY JONES"? 18 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,326 - IN A WAY, YES. 19 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:36,794 YOU SEE, THE STATION'S DECIDED 20 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,463 TO LET ME TRY MY HAND AT PROGRAMMING. 21 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:41,832 AND TODAY MARKS THE DEBUT OF THE NEW MICHAEL HARRIS SCHEDULE 22 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:44,001 OR, AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, MTV. 23 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,036 ( giggling ) 24 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:50,141 - WELL, ANY SCHEDULE WITHOUT BUDDY EBSEN SUCKS EGGS. 25 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,376 - GEORGE, DON'T DESPAIR. 26 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:55,446 I PURCHASED A REPLACEMENT SHOW OF EQUAL QUALITY AND VALUE. 27 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:58,916 - "LIFESTYLES OF THE SOLID PLATINUM DANCERS"? 28 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,419 - IT'S A PIECE OF FLUFF. 29 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,188 THEY DON'T SOLVE CRIMES 30 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:06,291 OR HAVE A CUTE SECRETARY OR ANYTHING. 31 00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,925 - GEORGE, EACH EPISODE OF "BARNABY" 32 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,594 HAS AIRED OVER 10 TIMES. 33 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,596 - BUT NO MATTER HOW OFTEN I WATCH, 34 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,765 I ALWAYS FIND NEW THINGS. 35 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,034 BUDDY CAN DO MORE WITH HIS EYEBROWS 36 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:17,869 THAN ANY ACTOR I KNOW. 37 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,137 - MICHAEL, I'M READY. 38 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:22,106 - GEORGE, I'D LOVE TO KEEP UP THIS POINTLESS DEBATE 39 00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:25,543 BUT WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS BRUNCHING TO DO. 40 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,245 STEPH, SAY IT FOR ME, JUST ONCE. 41 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,915 - ( sighing ) I WANT MY MTV. 42 00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:31,949 ( giggling ) 43 00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:39,590 - WELL, I REFUSE TO TAKE THIS LYING DOWN. 44 00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:42,693 I'M GONNA GET "BARNABY JONES" BACK ON THE AIR. 45 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,629 OR AS BUDDY WOULD SAY... 46 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:51,202 - GOOD MORNING. 47 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:52,203 - GOOD MORNING, MISS NEWMAN. 48 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,005 DID YOU SLEEP WELL? - OH, YES. 49 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,240 I JUST LOVE YOUR INN. 50 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,041 GREAT PILLOWS. 51 00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,845 HAVE YOU SEEN MY FIANC� EDWARD? 52 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,847 - NO, BUT HERE'S A NOTE FOR YOU. 53 00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:07,151 - OH, HE'S ALWAYS WRITING ME REALLY EMBARRASSING GUSHY NOTES. 54 00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,152 - OH, HO, HO. 55 00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:13,791 - ( gasping ) 56 00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:15,694 HE RAN OUT ON ME. 57 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,696 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED THIS AFTERNOON 58 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,865 BUT HE SAYS HE'S NOT SURE OF HIS FEELINGS. 59 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,869 - I'M SURE HE'LL SEE THE LIGHT BEFORE HE GETS TOO FAR. 60 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:27,405 - SAYS HE'S HOPPING THE FIRST BUS FOR CANADA. 61 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:31,142 - MAYBE HE'LL SEE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS FIRST. 62 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:36,013 - THIS IS AWFUL. 63 00:03:36,048 --> 00:03:37,949 I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO GET HOME. 64 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,284 - OH, DON'T WORRY, IF YOU WANT, 65 00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:42,053 WE'LL LEND YOU THE MONEY TO GET HOME. 66 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,821 - OH, YOU'RE VERY KIND 67 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:47,025 BUT I BELIEVE IN PAYING MY OWN WAY. 68 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,059 - GOOD FOR YOU. 69 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:51,662 - I KNOW, MAYBE I COULD GET A JOB IN THIS TOWN. 70 00:03:51,697 --> 00:03:54,265 I USED TO BE A WAITRESS BACK IN ARIZONA. 71 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:57,636 IN FACT, I SAW A CUTE CAF� RIGHT NEXT DOOR, 72 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,637 THE "MINUTEMAN." 73 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:04,742 - I--I HAPPEN TO KNOW THEY'RE NOT HIRING. 74 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,911 - OKAY. 75 00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:10,447 WELL, I'LL BET YOU I HAVE A JOB BY THE END OF THE DAY. 76 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,550 I MEAN, THE SECRET TO GETTING HIRED 77 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:17,655 IS TO PROJECT A STRONG, POSITIVE ATTITUDE. 78 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,925 ( music playing ) 79 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,438 ( inhales ) 80 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:37,775 ( sneezes twice ) 81 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,145 ( inhales ) 82 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,782 ( sneezes ) 83 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,250 ( sneezes twice more ) 84 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,789 - WELL, I THINK WE HAVE A-- 85 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,996 YOU TWO HAVING SNEEZING CONTESTS AGAIN? 86 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,364 I CAN'T LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A MINUTE 87 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,400 WITHOUT YOU ABUSING A CONDIMENT. 88 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,337 - HELLO. 89 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,372 - HI. I'M LARRY. 90 00:05:08,407 --> 00:05:09,506 THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL, 91 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,642 AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER, DARRYL. 92 00:05:11,677 --> 00:05:14,645 PLEASE, GRAB A RUMPFUL OF VINYL. 93 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,815 - OH, THANK YOU, BUT I'M NOT HERE AS A CUSTOMER. 94 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,817 I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB AS A WAITRESS. 95 00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:22,887 - I'M SORRY, BUT DARRYL AND I DO FINE BY OURSELVES. 96 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,590 WE'RE KINDA LIKE A VERY OILY MACHINE. 97 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,693 - PLEASE, I'VE BEEN ALL OVER TOWN. 98 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,061 YOU'RE MY LAST HOPE. 99 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,062 - I'D LIKE TO HELP. 100 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,398 YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME. 101 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,232 THE LUNCH RUSH IS ABOUT TO START. 102 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,967 DARRYL, STATIONS, PLEASE. 103 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,405 - HEY, BOYS. 104 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,676 MA'AM. 105 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:45,910 - CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER? 106 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,211 - JUST THE USUAL. 107 00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:48,445 - I'M SORRY. 108 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:51,716 IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER EACH REGULAR'S CULINARY PREFERENCES. 109 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:52,751 - CUP OF COFFEE. 110 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,120 - OH, YEAH. CUP O' JOE! 111 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:58,589 CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A GENEROUS HUNK OF PIE? 112 00:05:58,624 --> 00:05:59,591 - NO THANKS. 113 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,259 I DON'T WANT TO BE ANY BIGGER TARGET OUT THERE 114 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,293 THAN I HAVE TO. 115 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,965 - WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, THE THREE OF US 116 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,167 CAN HANDLE THINGS EVEN WHEN IT GETS BUSY. 117 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,170 - WELL, THE CHEERY SMILE OF A GOOD WAITRESS 118 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,306 CAN DO A LOT TO STIMULATE BUSINESS. 119 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:16,841 - 'FRAID WE GOT THAT ONE COVERED. 120 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,279 - I'LL BET I COULD HAVE GOTTEN HIM 121 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,680 TO TAKE THAT PIECE OF PIE. 122 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,614 - GO ON. 123 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,649 WE OFFER HIM SOME EVERY TIME HE COMES HERE. 124 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,650 - JUST WATCH. 125 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,088 - OFFICER. 126 00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:35,093 ARE YOU SURE YOU WON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THIS PIE? 127 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,228 - I'D LOVE TO, BUT IN MY LINE OF WORK, 128 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:38,663 FITNESS EQUALS SURVIVAL. 129 00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,965 - C'MON, SURELY ONE PIECE OF PIE 130 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,767 ISN'T GONNA HURT A STOMACH AS FLAT AS THAT. 131 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,538 - IT IS OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A WASHBOARD. 132 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,641 WHAT THE HELL, 133 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,109 PIE ME. 134 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:57,982 - WELL, LITTLE LADY, YOU GOT A W-4 FORM TO FILL OUT. 135 00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,050 - OH, REALLY? 136 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,150 - YOU'RE AMAZING. 137 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,086 WE THOUGHT WE'D BEEN SAVING THAT PIE IN VAIN 138 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,655 FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS. 139 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,562 ( music playing ) 140 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,203 - SHOULDN'T KATHY BE BACK BY NOW? 141 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,238 SHE SAID SHE'D BE HOME AFTER THE BREAKFAST SHIFT. 142 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,739 - HONEY, WILL YOU STOP WORRYING ABOUT HER? 143 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,107 SHE WAS FINE YESTERDAY. 144 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,809 - I KNOW, BUT HOW MUCH LONGER CAN HER LUCK HOLD OUT? 145 00:07:27,813 --> 00:07:30,181 - HI. BOY, WHAT A MORNING. 146 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,449 - WHAT HAPPENED? 147 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,617 - OH, I HELPED THEM CLEAN THE GRIDDLE. 148 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,954 - OKAY. THAT'S IT. YOU'VE GOT TO GO HOME. 149 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:36,987 WE'LL LEND YOU THE MONEY. 150 00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,422 - OH, THANKS, 151 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,259 BUT I'M NOT THAT ANXIOUS TO GET HOME ANYMORE. 152 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,197 - YOU LIKE WORKING WITH LARRY AND THE DARRYLS? 153 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,266 - THEY'RE THE SWEETEST MEN I'VE EVER MET. 154 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,269 NOT AT ALL LIKE EDWARD. 155 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,236 - REALLY? 156 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:57,008 - WELL, I HAVE TO FRESHEN UP AND GET BACK THERE. 157 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,313 - HOLA, LOUDONS. 158 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,481 DICK, GREAT NEWS. 159 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,284 I THINK I CAN GET THE SOLID PLATINUM DANCERS 160 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,885 TO GUEST ON YOUR SHOW. 161 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,587 - I DON'T DO GLITZ. 162 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,121 - EXACTLY MY POINT. 163 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,590 YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BREAK THROUGH 164 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,692 ALL THAT PHONY GLAMOUR AND CHEESECAKE 165 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,927 AND GRILL THE TRUE MEASUREMENTS OUT OF THOSE GIRLS. 166 00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:19,530 - LOOK, MICHAEL. 167 00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:22,099 I GOT EVERY BEAVER IN TOWN TO SIGN THIS PETITION 168 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,535 TO PUT "BARNABY JONES" BACK ON THE AIR. 169 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,770 - WELL, I'M SORRY, GEORGE, BUT THE BEAVERS DON'T REPRESENT 170 00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,506 THE YOUNGER AUDIENCE WPIV IS AFTER. 171 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,976 BUT THIS NEW SHOW IS FILLED WITH EXCITING THINGS 172 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,811 TODAY'S HIP VIEWERS WANT TO SEE. 173 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,346 THE DRAMA OF THE DANCERS' LIVES, THEIR VICTORIES, 174 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,782 THEIR DEFEATS, THEIR THIGHS. 175 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:43,287 - THE ONLY THIGHS I WANT TO SEE BELONG TO BUDDY EBSEN. 176 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,692 - GEORGE, MAYBE THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 177 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:49,760 IF YOU WERE UNDER 30, 178 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,029 WHAT YOU'RE SAYING WOULD MATTER DEEPLY TO ME. 179 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,966 - WELL, MAYBE YOU DON'T CARE WHAT I WANT 180 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,633 BUT THE PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN DO. 181 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,403 AND I CAN GET THEM ALL BEHIND ME. 182 00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,138 BRING BACK BUDDY! 183 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,640 BRING BACK BUDDY! 184 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:05,643 - SO WHERE'S MY SENSUAL SENORITA? 185 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,746 - SHE'S UPSTAIRS GIVING HERSELF A FACIAL. 186 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,414 - OH BOY, IF I HURRY, I CAN PEEL. 187 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,761 - THOSE WOULDN'T BE FOR ME, WOULD THEY? 188 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,765 - THEY'RE FOR KATHY, RIGHT? 189 00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,002 - SHE'S FRESHENING UP RIGHT NOW. 190 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,910 - YOU'RE GOING TO WAIT, AREN'T YOU? 191 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:46,717 - IT'S A SHAME ABOUT THIS BARNABY THING, ISN'T IT? 192 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,521 - WHY DON'T WE PUT THOSE IN SOME WATER? 193 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,434 - FOR KATHY, RIGHT? 194 00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:06,503 - GREAT. 195 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:13,277 - UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS ARE BROKEN UP ABOUT BARNABY. 196 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,025 - FELLAS. 197 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,838 - I'LL JUST HOLD ON TO THIS. 198 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:48,578 - FELLAS, I'M SURE THERE'S A WAY TO WORK THIS OUT. 199 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,951 - ON THE OTHER HAND, MAYBE NOT. 200 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,154 ( music playing ) 201 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:04,261 - DARRYL, THERE YOU ARE. 202 00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:08,699 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 203 00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,868 ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? 204 00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:14,204 - THEY WERE BOTH BRINGING FLOWERS FOR KATHY. 205 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,406 - I SEE. 206 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,377 DARRYL, GET BACK TO THE CAF� AND WAIT FOR ME. 207 00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,982 I'M SORRY YOU WERE SUBJECTED 208 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,752 TO SUCH HORMONALLY MOTIVATED BEHAVIOR. 209 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,221 I GUESS THE ONLY THING TO DO 210 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,323 IS FIND OUT WHICH DARRYL SHE PREFERS 211 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,659 AND LOCK THE HAPPY COUPLE IN A BARN FOR A WHILE. 212 00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:39,730 - LARRY, I THINK I KNOW KATHY WELL ENOUGH 213 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:45,669 TO SAY THAT THE DARRYL OF HER CHOICE IS NEITHER. 214 00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:48,372 - GOSH, I THOUGHT BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM 215 00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,641 THEY WOULD HAVE COVERED ALL RANGES OF TASTE. 216 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,078 - GO FIGURE. 217 00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:56,414 - WELL, I'LL UPDATE DARRYL. 218 00:11:56,449 --> 00:12:00,017 MEANTIME, COULD YOU EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO MISS KATHY? 219 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,185 - WHY ME? 220 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,221 - YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO TALK ABOUT AFFAIRS OF THE HEART 221 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:08,425 WITHOUT USING GRAPHIC SEXUAL TERMINOLOGY. 222 00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:11,796 - IT'S A GIFT. 223 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,603 - WELL, SEE YOU LATER. 224 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:23,173 - KATHY, IT SEEMS YOUR PRESENCE AT THE CAF� 225 00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:27,345 HAS STIRRED UP SOME ROMANTIC FEELINGS OVER THERE. 226 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,278 - YOU'RE KIDDING? 227 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,481 - THERE'S NO REASON TO BE FRIGHTENED. 228 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:31,648 - OH, I'M NOT FRIGHTENED. 229 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,183 I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL. 230 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,353 - YOU DO? 231 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,689 - I WAS HAVING SOME FEELINGS TOO. 232 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:39,657 - YOU WERE? 233 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,693 - WHICH DARRYL DO YOU LIKE? 234 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:45,329 - DARRYL? OH, I THINK THEY'RE SWEET BUT, 235 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,798 I LIKE LARRY. 236 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:51,001 - LARRY? 237 00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:54,238 - HE'S MASCULINE, HE'S DEPENDABLE, HE'S SENSITIVE. 238 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,472 HE SPEAKS. 239 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,578 - HE DOES HAVE IT ALL. 240 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,214 - KATHY, THIS IS GETTING PRETTY COMPLICATED. 241 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,449 IT'S THE DARRYLS WHO LIKE YOU. 242 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,152 THEY JUST GOT INTO A BIG FIGHT BECAUSE OF IT. 243 00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,587 - OH, GOSH. 244 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,524 WELL, I GUESS THE ONLY WAY TO PUT AN END TO THIS 245 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:14,958 IS TO GO OVER THERE AND TELL THEM 246 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,627 IT'S LARRY I'M INTERESTED IN. 247 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:20,397 - KATHY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 248 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:21,732 - I HAVE TO, MR. LOUDON. 249 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,001 I'VE CAUSED ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY. 250 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,871 OH, DEAR, I KNOW DARRYL CAN TAKE THIS 251 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,407 BUT THIS'LL BREAK POOR DARRYL'S HEART. 252 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,646 ( music playing ) 253 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,616 - WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY 254 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,286 WHEN A PRETTY FACE COULD TURN BROTHER AGAINST BROTHER. 255 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,654 IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? 256 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,626 - WELL, I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY 257 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:53,831 THAT KATHY AIN'T A SMIDGEON INTERESTED IN YOU OR YOU. 258 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:58,903 FROM HEREON, YOU TWO LEAVE MISS KATHY BE. 259 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,838 NOW LET'S SEE SOME FORGIVING AND FORGETTING. 260 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,379 - HI, GUYS. 261 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,047 - MISS KATHY. 262 00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:13,417 - LISTEN, I HATE TO BE THE CAUSE OF ANY FRICTION BETWEEN YOU 263 00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:17,087 SO I THINK IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW MY FEELINGS. 264 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,823 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, 265 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,426 UH, WELL, THIS IS HARD FOR ME SO... 266 00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,902 - THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I KNEW HOW TO SHOW YOU. 267 00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,403 HOPE YOU FEEL THE SAME. 268 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:36,641 - WELL, SO FAR SO GOOD. 269 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,442 - OH, LARRY. 270 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,845 - EXCUSE ME, WE'RE READY TO ORDER NOW. 271 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,080 - OH, COMING. 272 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:50,453 - LISTEN, WE'LL ALL TALK LATER. 273 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:54,058 - OH, HI, GUYS. 274 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:57,561 NOW DARRYL, I KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS 275 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,530 BUT I HAD NO IDEA SHE HAD EYES FOR YOURS TRULY. 276 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,669 I REALIZE THIS IS HARD TO BELIEVE, 277 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:06,904 COMING AS IT DOES 278 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:09,439 FROM LIPS THAT JUST SMUSHED UP AGAINST PARADISE. 279 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,344 LOOK, THE FLEA HAS PICKED OUT HER DOG. 280 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,946 NOW, GET TO YOUR STATIONS. 281 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,821 - IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 282 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:24,755 - DON'T WORRY. 283 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,490 THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE SLOW TO ABSORB THINGS. 284 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:31,595 NOT UNLIKE THEM PLAIN WRAPPED PAPER TOWELS. 285 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,998 - HERE'S THE ORDER ON TABLE 5. 286 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,269 - DARRYL, TWO FRUIT SALADS PRONTO. 287 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,341 - GOOD THING WE DIDN'T ORDER HOT SOUP. 288 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:47,010 - PLEASE, PLEASE REMAIN SEATED. 289 00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:49,480 I WILL SOON HAVE THE SITUATION UNDER CONTROL. 290 00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,083 - STOP IT! STOP IT! 291 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:57,488 THIS IS ALL MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS. 292 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,590 I CAN'T WORK HERE ANYMORE. 293 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,591 BEFORE I CAME, 294 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,727 YOU THREE WERE SUCH AN OILY MACHINE. 295 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,895 ( sobbing ) 296 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:05,896 - WAIT, MISS KATHY. 297 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,264 I FELT TOWARD THE END, DARRYL AND I 298 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,765 WERE STARTING TO WORK THINGS OUT. 299 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,104 ( music playing ) 300 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,874 - MICHAEL, IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. 301 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,342 - BUT STEPH, I'M ALL WET. 302 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:25,582 GEORGE, THIS BARNABY STUFF HAS GONE TOO FAR. 303 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:27,584 - SOMETHING WRONG, MICHAEL? 304 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,753 - YOU'VE GOT THIS WHOLE TOWN OF HOOLIGANS OUT TO GET ME. 305 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:31,588 PHONE OPERATORS BREAK INTO MY PHONE CALLS 306 00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:34,925 AND GO "BUDDY, BUDDY." 307 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,428 BANK TELLERS DEMAND 10 PIECES OF ID. 308 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,396 AND FINALLY, I WAS THE VICTIM 309 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,899 OF THE MOST HIDEOUS OF ALL AUTOMOBILE CRIMES, 310 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,166 THE SPLASH AND RUN. 311 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:45,936 - THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. 312 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,738 - DARN RIGHT. I COULD CATCH PNEUMONIA. 313 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,273 - NOT YOU. ME. 314 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:52,042 LOOK, A SPOT OF MUD. 315 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,547 - OH MY GOD. 316 00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:01,018 THAT'S IT, GEORGE. 317 00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:02,520 BETWEEN MEN IS ONE THING 318 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,289 BUT WHEN INNOCENT CUPCAKES TAKE SHRAPNEL. 319 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:07,624 - SORRY, MICHAEL, 320 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,727 BUT PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. 321 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,963 - TELEVISION IS A MASS MEDIUM. 322 00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,998 IT'LL BE A COLD DAY IN HADES TOWN 323 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,601 WHEN I BOW TO THE WHIM OF ONE PERSON. 324 00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:21,671 - MICHAEL, I CAN'T DATE YOU UNTIL MY CLOTHING IS SAFE. 325 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,343 - BARNABY WILL BE BACK ON TOMORROW, GEORGE. 326 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,379 - THANK YOU, MICHAEL. 327 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,280 - GEORGE, SUPPOSE I PUT 328 00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,949 "LIFESTYLES OF THE SOLID PLATINUM DANCERS" 329 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,384 ON IN PLACE OF "EIGHT IS ENOUGH"? 330 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,655 - LIFE WITHOUT DICK VAN PATTEN? 331 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,590 I'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU. 332 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,396 - YOU KNOW YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY LONGER IF YOU WANT. 333 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,899 - OH, THANKS, BUT I DON'T THINK THIS TOWN'S TOO GOOD FOR ME. 334 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,968 I'VE LOST TWO MEN IN THREE DAYS. 335 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,871 - HI. 336 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,873 I'M LARRY, FLYING SOLO. 337 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,642 - LARRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 338 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:01,211 - WELL, I FIGURED YOU'D BE HEADING OUT OF TOWN. 339 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,848 I WONDERED IF YOU'D MIND MY TAGGING ALONG. 340 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:06,984 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR BROTHERS? 341 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,985 - WELL, WE DISCUSSED IT AND DISCUSSED IT 342 00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:11,321 UNTIL WE RAN OUT OF BASIC FOOD GROUPS. 343 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,924 I TOLD THEM THEY COULD HAVE THE CAF�. 344 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,559 - LARRY, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? 345 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,630 - WELL, MISS KATHY'S KISS MOVED ME 346 00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,898 MORE THAN I'VE EVER BEEN MOVED BEFORE. 347 00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:24,234 'COURSE, NOTHING FEMININE'S TOUCHED THESE LIPS 348 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,770 SINCE THAT FAT LADY STOOD UP ON THE BUS. 349 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,076 SO, IS IT TWO FOR THE ROAD? 350 00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:37,281 - OH, LARRY, I JUST KNOW WE'RE GONNA BE WONDERFUL TOGETHER. 351 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,485 - OOH, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, 352 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,088 THAT FAT LADY IS A DISTANT SECOND. 353 00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:50,927 - KATHY. - EDWARD. 354 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,130 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 355 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,433 - KATHY, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 356 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,668 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST WRITE ME ANOTHER NOTE? 357 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,904 - KATHY, I KNOW I DID A TERRIBLE THING 358 00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,573 BUT I WAS SCARED. 359 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:06,076 I MEAN, MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE. 360 00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:09,580 AFTER I LEFT HERE, I REALIZED THAT 361 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:12,849 I'D HAVE NO LIFE WITHOUT YOU. 362 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:15,252 - I'M SORRY, EDWARD. 363 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,253 WHILE YOU WERE GONE, 364 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:21,157 I MET A VERY SWEET, GENTLE, KIND MAN. 365 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,460 HE'S COMING BACK TO ARIZONA WITH ME. 366 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,364 - I THOUGHT HE WAS MARRIED TO HER. 367 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,466 - NOT ME. 368 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,135 HIM. 369 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,636 LARRY. 370 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,174 - WOW. I REALLY HURT YOU, DIDN'T I? 371 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,244 - WE HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY TO EACH OTHER, EDWARD. 372 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,279 - KATHY, PLEASE. - I'M SORRY. 373 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,352 - SO AM I. 374 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,994 - WELL, WE HAVE A BUS TO CATCH. 375 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,232 - I DON'T THINK SO, MISS KATHY. 376 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,333 - WHAT'S WRONG? 377 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,902 - I KNOW THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY, 378 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,670 YOU BEING SUCH A TASTY BAG OF GROCERIES AN' ALL, 379 00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:10,840 BUT I JUST DON'T THINK IT'D BE RIGHT. 380 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,245 - LARRY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT EDWARD. 381 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,748 YOU HEARD ME TELL HIM THAT WE'RE THROUGH. 382 00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,249 - I HEARD WHAT YOU TOLD HIM. 383 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:22,485 BUT YOUR MOUTH WAS HAVING A MAJOR ARGUMENT WITH YOUR EYES. 384 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:27,257 THERE'S A BIRD IN THESE WOODS CALLED THE SAPSUCKER. 385 00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:29,393 WHEN IT MATES, IT MATES FOR LIFE. 386 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,561 THE BOY SAPSUCKER AND THE GIRL SAPSUCKER 387 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,564 JUST HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR EYES THAT SAYS, 388 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,501 "I'M FOR YOU AND YOU'RE FOR ME, FOREVER." 389 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:40,937 I SAW THAT SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE FOR EDWARD. 390 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,739 AND IN HIS FOR YOU. 391 00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:44,974 - LARRY, PEOPLE ARE NOT SAPSUCKERS. 392 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:47,544 - I DON'T KNOW. 393 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,881 COVER 'EM WITH FEATHERS, JAM A BIG SNOUT ON THEIR FACE, 394 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,051 SLICE OFF SOME TOES, LOP OFF THEIR ARMS, 395 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,688 GRAFT WINGS ON THEIR SPINAL COLUMN, 396 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,590 I'D BE HARD PRESSED TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE. 397 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,361 - WOW, WE'RE JUST A HAIR'S BREADTH AWAY 398 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:05,595 FROM BEING BIRDS. 399 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,534 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE WAY HE RAN OUT ON ME? 400 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:13,203 - WHAT ABOUT THE WAY HE CAME BACK TO YOU? 401 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,272 IF YOU HURRY, YOU CAN CATCH UP WITH HIM. 402 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,643 - OH, LARRY, YOU'RE SO WISE. 403 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,047 I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET YOU. 404 00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:31,321 - LARRY, WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS WONDERFUL. 405 00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,323 - THEN WHY DO MY INSIDES FEEL LIKE 406 00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:36,593 THEY'VE JUST BEEN WORKED OVER BY A BENIHANA CHEF? 407 00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:40,397 I HAVE NO GIRL, 408 00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:43,834 I HAVE NO BROTHERS AND I HAVE NO HOME. 409 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:44,801 ( door opening ) 410 00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:48,839 - STAND BACK, DARRYL, I GOT A POP TART IN MY POCKET. 411 00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:49,973 I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT. 412 00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:54,478 - WHAT'S THAT? 413 00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:59,482 - OH, MY, A LOVELY CHAFING DISH. 414 00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:08,858 - "TO LARRY AND KATHY, 415 00:22:08,893 --> 00:22:12,462 GOOD LUCK WHEREVER YOU MAY ROAM." 416 00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,963 - OHH. 417 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,034 THEY'VE ACCEPTED LARRY'S RELATIONSHIP. 418 00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:19,602 - I GUESS I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HASN'T. 419 00:22:20,705 --> 00:22:24,241 - DARRYL, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, ASIDE FROM THE SPELLING. 420 00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:28,145 BUT MISS KATHY JUST LEFT TOWN WITH HER PREVIOUS FIANC�. 421 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:31,248 I REALIZE YOU'LL PROBABLY TAUNT ME 422 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,449 FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS 423 00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:35,352 BUT GO AHEAD, DO YOUR WORST. 424 00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:46,129 AHH, YOU'RE THE BEST BROTHERS. 425 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:49,533 SOMETIMES THINGS JUST GO SO RIGHT WITH THAT DNA. 426 00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:54,804 ( music playing ) 427 00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:59,409 ( theme music playing ) 428 00:23:26,237 --> 00:23:27,371 - MEOW! 30822

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