All language subtitles for Newhart S04E17

( theme music playing )

- HOW DOES IT LOOK OUTSIDE?

- CLEAR BLUE SKIES,
CLOUD IN SIGHT,

IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

- DAMN IT.

- HONEY, DON'T GET UPSET.

IT CAN TURN MISERABLE
LIKE THAT.

- I HOPE SO, DICK.

THE SNOW CARNIVAL
IS ONLY A WEEK AWAY.

- HOW ARE YOU DOING
WITH THOSE CAPS?

- WELL, I'M JUST
FINISHING MY 103RD.

- "SNOW CARNIVAL 1986."

WELL, EITHER IT'LL SNOW

AND THESE WILL SELL
LIKE HOT CAKES

OR YOU WASTED A MONTH
OF YOUR LIFE.

- HEY, DICK, JOANNA.
- HI, HARLEY.

- WELL, IT'S THAT TIME
OF YEAR AGAIN.

READY TO SHOVEL THE SNOW
OUT OF YOUR DRIVEWAY.

- HARLEY, MAYBE YOU NOTICED
ON YOUR WAY UP TO THE HOUSE

THAT YOU HAD TO TRUDGE
THROUGH NOTHING?

- YEAH, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,

THE SHOVELING GAME'S
BEEN KIND OF LEAN LATELY.

THANK GOD THE SNOW CARNIVAL'S
COMING UP.

I ALWAYS GET A JOB AS A TARGET
IN THE DUNKING BOOTH.

- HARLEY, YOU WORK
IN THE DUNKING BOOTH

IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER?

- YEAH.
ONCE I GET OVER THE FROSTBITE,

I DEPOSIT A NICE CHUNK OF CHANGE
IN THE BANK.

- HARLEY, IF IT DOESN'T SNOW,
THERE MAY NOT BE A CARNIVAL.

- WHOA.

MOTHER NATURE SURE
IS A TOUGH OLD BROAD.

- HI.
- HI, INNKEEPERS.

WHERE'S MY FAVORITE LODGER?

- STEPHANIE, MICHAEL'S HERE.

- OH, GUESS WHAT?

I GOT THE GO-AHEAD
TO PRODUCE MY TV SPECIAL

ON THE SNOW CARNIVAL.

THIS COULD BE MY TICKET OUT OF
SUNDAY AFTERNOON YACKETY-YACK.

NO OFFENSE, DICK.

- HI, MICHAEL.

- WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR THE NEWS
I'VE GOT FOR STEPH.

GET READY TO "OOH."

- WHAT IS IT?

- STEPHANIE HAS BEEN NAMED

THE OFFICIAL
1986 SNOW CARNIVAL ICE MAIDEN.

- OOH!

- STEPHANIE, CONGRATULATIONS.

WERE THERE A LOT OF GIRLS
UP FOR THIS?

- THERE WAS NO COMPETITION.

- NOT EVEN CLOSE, HUH?

- NO, THERE WAS LITERALLY
NO COMPETITION.

THEY LEFT THE DECISION UP TO ME
SO I SAID TO MYSELF

IN THIS ENTIRE TOWN WHO'S
MORE DESERVING OF THE TITLE

"ICE MAIDEN" THAN MY STEPH.

- WELL, I'D HAVE TO GO
ALONG WITH YOU ON THAT.

- AW, THANK YOU, MICHAEL.

C'MON, LET'S CELEBRATE
WITH AN EXPENSIVE LUNCH

AND THEN TAKE A TOUR
OF MY KINGDOM.

- DICK, JOANNA, I'VE DESIGNED
THE STRATFORD INN FLOAT

FOR THE PARADE.
DO YOU WANT TO SEE?

- IT LOOKS LIKE
A GIANT SLEIGH.

- I CALL IT THE GIANT SLEIGH.

IT'S GONNA BE BRIGHT RED
WITH SILVER RUNNERS.

I FIGURE THE WHOLE THING
SHOULD COST $350.

- GEORGE, YOU BETTER HOLD OFF.

IF IT DOESN'T SNOW,
BUILDING A SLEIGH

COULD BE JUST AS USELESS
AS WHAT JOANNA'S DOING.

- DICK!

- DON'T WORRY, JOANNA,
IT'S GONNA SNOW.

ALL THE SIGNS POINT TO IT.

THIS MORNING, I SAW RABBITS
SCURRYING INTO THE WOODS.

- THERE, DICK, YOU SEE?

- YEAH, THAT ALWAYS MEANS
A STORM IS COMING.

- YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME,
GEORGE,

BUT I HAVE THIS THING ABOUT
GETTING MY WEATHER INFORMATION

FROM PRIMATES.

THERE'S AN EMERGENCY
TOWN MEETING TONIGHT.

THEY'RE GONNA DECIDE WHETHER
TO CANCEL THE CARNIVAL.

I THINK WE OUGHT TO
WAIT FOR THE OUTCOME

BEFORE WE BUILD A FLOAT.

- ALL RIGHT, DICK.

BUT IF WE DON'T
GET STARTED SOON,

OUR ENTRY IN THE PARADE
IS GONNA BE THIS.

- LET'S ALL TAKE OUR SEATS
AND START THE MEETING.

- WOW, IS IT PACKED.

I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MANY PEOPLE
IN HERE SINCE '61.

- WHAT HAPPENED IN '61?

- THE WHOLE TOWN
CAME DOWN TO SEE

HOW MANY PEOPLE
WE COULD FIT IN HERE.

- NOW, THE REASON I CALLED
THIS EMERGENCY MEETING IS,

WELL, WE'RE FACED
WITH AN EMERGENCY.

FOR THE FIRST TIME,
WE'VE HAD NO SNOW IN FEBRUARY.

WE'VE GOT TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO
ABOUT THE SNOW CARNIVAL.

- WELL, CHESTER,
YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.

WE'RE ALL SPENDING MONEY
ON SUPPLIES AND PREPARATIONS,

I SAY CALL OFF THE CARNIVAL NOW
AND CUT OUR LOSSES.

( indistinct chatter )

- WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE ME?

THE MONEY I MAKE
DURING THE CARNIVAL

CARRIES MY SOUVENIR SHOP
THROUGH THE REST OF THE YEAR.

- YEAH, AND IF THE SNOW
CARNIVAL'S CANCELED,

A LOT OF US
ARE GONNA GO UNDER.

WELL, I GUESS
I'LL GO UNDER EITHER WAY.

- LOOK, THERE'S STILL A CHANCE
IT MIGHT SNOW.

REMEMBER THE WINTER OF '58?

THE WEATHER WAS
JUST THIS PLEASANT,

THEN A BLIZZARD CAME ALONG
AND WIPED OUT HALF THE TOWN.

- YEAH.

- BUT THERE'S NO GUARANTEE

WE'LL LUCK OUT
LIKE THAT THIS YEAR.

HAS ANYBODY HEARD
THE SLIGHTEST REASON OR HOPE

IT'S GONNA SNOW?

- THERE'S THAT THING
OF GEORGE'S ABOUT THE RABBITS.

- HONEY, BIG DEAL.

HE SAW SOME RABBITS
RUNNING INTO THE FOREST.

- RABBITS RAN INTO THE FOREST?

- THAT'S ONE HELL
OF A PIECE OF INFORMATION

TO BE SITTING ON, DICK.

- YEAH, YOU'RE PLAYING
WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES HERE.

- I GUESS I WAS RIGHT
TO BE OPTIMISTIC.

RABBITS NEVER RUN
INTO THE FOREST

UNLESS A STORM'S COMING.

- UNLESS THEY WERE JUST
RUNNING AWAY FROM THAT DOG.

- THEY WERE RUNNING AWAY
FROM A DOG?

- HUH?

- WHAT?

- GEE, DICK, YOU SHOULD
GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT

BEFORE YOU GET PEOPLE
IN AN UPROAR.

- YEAH, YOU'RE PLAYING
WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES HERE.

- IN THE LIGHT OF THIS RABBIT
THING BEING A CRUEL HOAX,

I THINK THE BEST THING TO DO
IS CANCEL.

( groaning )

- I'M STEPHANIE VANDERKELLEN,
ICE MAIDEN.

AND I'VE HEARD
JUST ABOUT ENOUGH.

NOT ONLY DO I INSIST
THE CARNIVAL CONTINUE,

I DEMAND THAT IT SNOW,
IMMEDIATELY.

- THANK YOU, MISS VANDERKELLEN.

- ICE MAIDEN.

- WELL, WE'VE HEARD BOTH SIDES

AND THE WEATHER SERVICE
HAS PROMISED TO GIVE ME

A DETAILED UPDATE
THIS EVENING.

SO WHY DON'T WE RECESS
'TIL 1 O'CLOCK TOMORROW

AND MAKE OUR DECISION THEN?

IN THE MEANTIME,
I DECLARE THAT THIS--

- EXCUSE ME. I'M LARRY.

THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL

AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER
DARRYL.

AND WE CAN SAVE THIS TOWN.

- HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?

- WE CAN MAKE IT SNOW.

( indistinct chatter )

WELL, OF COURSE,
ONLY GOD CAN MAKE IT SNOW

BUT SOMETIMES
HE NEEDS A LITTLE GOOSE.

THAT'S WHERE WE COME IN.

OUR FEE IS $1,000.

$2,000 IF YOU WANT IT TO STICK.

( laughing )

DOES THIS LAUGHTER REPRESENT
CRAFTY NEGOTIATING ON YOUR PART?

- NO, LARRY, THIS SEEMS TO BE
THE ONE THING WE ALL AGREE ON.

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.

- FINE.

WE'LL ALL BITE
THE BIG ONE TOGETHER.

C'MON, DARRYL.

IT'S A TOWN WITHOUT PITY.

- HONEY, UNTIL WE KNOW
THERE'S GONNA BE A CARNIVAL,

WHY DON'T YOU STOP
KNITTING THOSE THINGS?

- I CAN'T.
KNITTING'S THE ONLY THING

THAT RELAXES ME
WHEN I'M WORRIED.

- WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
SO WORRIED ABOUT?

- THAT I'VE BEEN A FOOL
TO KNIT ALL THESE THINGS.

I'D BETTER GET MORE WOOL.

- DICK, OZZIE AT THE LUMBER YARD

SAYS WE GOT TO ORDER THE WOOD
FOR THE FLOAT TONIGHT.

- GEORGE--

- OH, C'MON, IT'S NOT LIKE
THE SNOW CARNIVAL

IS THE ONLY USE WE'LL HAVE
FOR THE GIANT SLEIGH.

- GEORGE, WHAT ELSE
COULD YOU USE IT FOR?

- WELL, WHAT IF SOME
REALLY BIG PEOPLE CHECK IN?

- YOU'RE RIGHT, GEORGE,

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'VE GOTTEN
ALONG WITHOUT IT THIS LONG.

- DICK, I'VE BEEN PRACTICING
MY ICE MAIDEN WAVE

AND I NEED AN OPINION.

WHICH ONE OF THESE
DO YOU THINK

WILL BE MORE LIKELY
TO TURN HEADS?

THIS...

OR THIS...

- THE FIRST.
- I LIKE THE SECOND.

- HI, STEPH, I'M HERE
AND I'M NOT EMPTY-HANDED.

- MY ICE MAIDEN COSTUME.

I'LL RUN UPSTAIRS
AND TRY IT ON.

- AND I'LL WAIT HERE
AND PREPARE TO HUBBA-HUBBA.

- EVENING, ALL.

DICK, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

- GLAD I COULD MAKE WHAT?

- AN EMERGENCY MEETING
OF MY TRUSTED ADVISORS.

- WELL, WELL, A CONFAB
OF THE TOWN BIGGIES.

GLAD I'M HERE.

- DICK, WE'VE GOT TO DECIDE
WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE CARNIVAL

IF IT DOESN'T SNOW.

- AH, SO WE'RE HERE TO POW-WOW
OVER WORST-CASE SCENARIOS

VIS-A-VIS THE SNOW CARNIVAL.

- I STILL THINK
WE SHOULD CANCEL.

- IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE
TO ADDRESS JIM'S SUGGESTION.

REAL STUPID.

- MICHAEL, BUTT OUT.

YOU'RE JUST TRYING
TO SAVE YOUR TV SPECIAL.

- IF WE COULD JUST FOCUS
ON THE MATTER AT HAND.

THE PURPOSE OF THIS MEETING
IS TO COME UP WITH SUGGESTIONS

TO SAVE THE CARNIVAL.

- WELL, IF WE'RE SPITBALLING,
SNOW OR NOT,

IT'LL STILL BE FEBRUARY,
WHY NOT CALL IT THE "FEB FEST"?

- MICHAEL,
PEOPLE COME HERE FOR SNOW.

THEY COULD GET "FEB"
IN JAMAICA.

- HOLD ON, DICK,
THIS IS THE FIRST ALTERNATIVE

ANYONE'S COME UP WITH.

MICHAEL, HOW WOULD
THIS "FEB FEST" GO?

- WELL, EXACTLY
LIKE THE SNOW CARNIVAL

BUT WITH A FEW VARIATIONS.

INSTEAD OF AN ICE SCULPTURE
COMPETITION,

WE'LL HAVE
A WET TEE-SHIRT CONTEST.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS,
BUT I PREFER CHEESECAKE TO ICE.

AND WE WON'T HAVE TO CHANGE
A THING ABOUT THE DOG SLED RACE,

IT WILL BE MORE OF A CHALLENGE

FOR THOSE PUPS
TO PULL OVER CONCRETE.

SO IS EVERYBODY READY
TO CARNI-VAL?

- THANK YOU, MICHAEL.

I THINK YOU'VE MADE IT CLEAR
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY

WE CAN HAVE THIS CARNIVAL
WITHOUT SNOW.

( phone ringing )

- STRATFORD INN.
IT'S THE WEATHER SERVICE.

- EVERYBODY PRAY
FOR A BLIZZARD.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

FAIR AND WARMER
ALL NEXT WEEK.

- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

TOMORROW I'M GONNA
HAVE TO ANNOUNCE

THAT THE CARNIVAL'S CANCELED

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN THE TOWN'S HISTORY.

I'LL BE BRANDED FOREVER
AS THE NO-SNOW MAYOR.

- I'LL HAVE TO KISS
MY TV SPECIAL GOODBYE.

- WHEN THE TOWN HEARS ABOUT
THE CANCELLATION TOMORROW,

THERE'LL BE RIOTING
IN THE STREETS, LYNCH MOBS.

- OH, TAKE IT EASY, CHESTER.

WE'RE MORE OF A TAR
AND FEATHER COMMUNITY.

- C'MON, GUYS, IN A CRISIS,
THE PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN

CAN BE PRETTY LEVEL-HEADED
AND MATURE.

- THE ICE MAIDEN'S HERE.

- WITH ONE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION.

- STEPH,
ABOUT THE SNOW CARNIVAL.

- YES, SIR MICHAEL?

- DICK HAS AN UPDATE.

- STEPHANIE,
I THINK THIS IS SOMETHING

MICHAEL SHOULD TELL YOU ABOUT.

- WHOA, BOOMERANG.

- WHY ARE MY SUBJECTS
ACTING SO STRANGELY?

- TRAGEDY, STEPH.

THE SNOW CARNIVAL'S
BEEN CANCELED.

- WHAT?

YOU CAN'T CANCEL THE CARNIVAL.

I'VE GOT MY COSTUME.

I'VE BEEN PRACTICING
MY SPEECH AND MY WAVE.

I DECLARE THE SNOW CARNIVAL
OFFICIALLY OPEN.

- YOU CAN'T BE AN ICE MAIDEN.

THERE'S NO ICE.

- WELL, THERE'S PLENTY OF IT
IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

CAN'T WE JUST MAKE
A WHOLE BUNCH OF IT

AND SCATTER IT ALL OVER TOWN?

- DICK?
- NO.

- BUT IT ISN'T FAIR.

STUPID, STUPID ACT OF GOD.

Michael:
I BETTER GO COMFORT HER

BEFORE SHE DOES SOMETHING
DESTRUCTIVE WITH THAT WAND.

- WELL, CHESTER, I'M NOT GONNA
SAY "I TOLD YOU SO."

A GOOD PORTION OF THE TOWN
WILL DO THAT FOR ME.

- DICK, I'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING.

- BUT WE'VE EXHAUSTED
EVERY POSSIBILITY.

- NOT ALL OF THEM.

I COULD HIRE LARRY, DARRYL
AND DARRYL TO MAKE SNOW.

- CHESTER, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO BE KNOWN

AS, THE "NO-SNOW MAYOR"
OR THE "MORON MAYOR"?

- BUT THOSE GUYS
ARE OUR ONLY HOPE.

DICK, I WANT YOU
TO TALK TO THEM.

- ME?

- WELL, I'VE GOT TO PREPARE
FOR THE TOWN MEETING

AND THEY SEEM TO LIKE YOU.

BESIDES, I'M AFRAID OF THEM.

- I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO
BUT I THINK IT'S A CRAZY IDEA.

- TELL THEM THE DEADLINE
IS 1 O'CLOCK TOMORROW.

WE'VE GOT TO HAVE SNOW
BEFORE THAT MEETING.

I'LL WRITE YOU OUT
A TOWN'S CHECK FOR $2000.

- ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
GIVE THESE GUYS $2000?

- WELL, I'D LOVE TO GIVE THEM
ONLY $1,000

BUT WE DO WANT IT TO STICK,
DON'T WE?

- HI. HI, GUYS.

CAN I TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING?

- JUST SO IT'S NOT 18TH CENTURY
INTERIOR DESIGN.

- ACTUALLY, I'M HERE
ON BEHALF OF THE TOWN.

THEY WANT ME TO SPEAK TO YOU
ABOUT MAKING IT SNOW.

- SEEMS LIKE THE LAST TIME
WE SAW THE TOWN,

IT WAS MAKING
A MUNICIPAL MOCKERY OF US.

- WELL, THEY'VE RECONSIDERED.

HERE'S THE TOWN'S
CHECK FOR $2,000.

- WELL, SHOULD WE DECIDE
TO TAKE THIS JOB,

WE'LL OF COURSE, NEED TO SEE
THE TOWN'S DRIVER'S LICENSE

AND ONE OTHER FORM OF ID.

- WELL, GUYS, IT ISN'T LIKE
THE TOWN IS GOING TO SKIP TOWN.

- EVEN SO, FAITH
IS AN IMPORTANT PART

OF OUR SNOW-MAKING PROCESS.

WE CAN'T ACCEPT THIS CHECK
UNTIL WE KNOW THAT YOU,

AS THE TOWN'S REPRESENTATIVE,
HAVE COMPLETE FAITH IN US.

DO YOU?

- WELL, UH...

- NO FAITH, NO SNOW.

- ACTUALLY, I HONESTLY BELIEVE
THAT IN SOME STRANGE WAY

YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS
WILL DO SOMETHING

AND AT SOME POINT AFTER THAT,

IT WILL SNOW.

- WHOO, THIS GUY'S
GOING TO THE WALL FOR US.

OKAY, WE'LL DO IT.

DARRYL, MAKE A LIST.

WE'LL NEED THE USUAL SUPPLIES:

CANNON BALL, FABRIC SOFTENER,

TWO POUNDS OF VEAL.

- OBVIOUSLY, YOU GUYS KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

OH, THERE'S THE DEADLINE.

THEY NEED THAT SNOW
BY ONE TOMORROW.

- THAT DOESN'T GIVE US
MUCH TIME.

DARRYL, BETTER ADD TOMATOES.

- WELL, WE GOT A MOUNTAIN
TO ASCEND.

- OH, I SHOULD WARN YOU,

THERE'S ONE LITTLE HITCH
TO THIS SNOW-MAKING PROCESS.

- I KNOW YOU CAN'T
GUARANTEE RESULTS.

- OH, NO,
IT'LL SNOW ALL RIGHT.

IT'S JUST
THAT ON A RUSH JOB LIKE THIS,

WE CAN'T PROMISE THAT
TWO SNOWFLAKES WON'T LOOK ALIKE.

- DICK, DO YOU THINK
IT'S GONNA SNOW IN TIME?

- I HATE TO THINK THAT LARRY,
DARRYL AND DARRYL

BOUGHT TWO POUNDS OF VEAL
FOR NOTHING.

- WHEN ARE WE GONNA
START THIS MEETING?

- IT ISN'T SCHEDULED 'TIL 1.
THAT'S IN THREE MINUTES.

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN
IN THREE MINUTES.

( indistinct chatter )

- JUST TELL US
THE CARNIVAL'S CANCELED

SO WE CAN START PAINTING OUR
"GOING OUT OF BUSINESS" SIGNS.

All Together:
YEAH. C'MON.

- YOU MIGHT WANT TO
MOVE THINGS ALONG.

IF THEY COME FOR YOU,

I CAN'T TAKE OUT
MORE THAN SIX OF 'EM.

- I'M NOT SAYING THE MEETING'S
STARTED, JUST LET'S TALK.

- IS THE CARNIVAL CANCELED?

- NOT EXACTLY.

- THEN IT'S ON?

- NOT EXACTLY.
- SOME MAYOR.

CAN'T EVEN SPEAK OUT
OF ONE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH.

- I'M GONNA TAKE A COUPLE OF
STEPS AWAY FROM YOU RIGHT NOW.

IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

- LOOK, FOLKS, IT'S NOT
AS HOPELESS AS YOU THINK.

I'VE HIRED SNOWMAKERS.

- SNOWMAKERS?

- YOU HIRED LARRY,
DARRYL AND DARRYL?

- LET'S TAR AND FEATHER HIM.

- TOLD YOU.

- $2,000 DOWN THE DRAIN.

- WE'VE BEEN SWINDLED.

- WAIT, WAIT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

LARRY, DARRYL AND DARRYL
MAY BE A LOT OF THINGS

BUT I'VE NEVER KNOWN THEM
TO BE DISHONEST.

- OH, YEAH?

THIS MORNING,
THEY CAME INTO THE BANK

AND CLEARED OUT
ALL OF THEIR MONEY.

- AND THEIR CAFE
IS ALL CLOSED UP.

EVEN THE CASH REGISTER'S GONE.

- WHOO!

SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT FRAUD, EMBEZZLEMENT

AND, HA, HA,
I LOVE THIS WORD, BUNKO.

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

WE GAVE LARRY,
DARRYL AND DARRYL

'TIL ONE O'CLOCK TO MAKE IT
SNOW.

THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS TO WAIT
UNTIL THE DEADLINE ARRIVES

BEFORE WE PASS JUDGMENT.

( clock strikes one )

- I'LL GO NAB 'EM.

- WELL, THAT'S IT.

I SADLY DECLARE
THAT THE SNOW CARNIVAL

IS OFFICIALLY CANCELED.

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,

THE ONLY HONORABLE THING
FOR ME TO DO IS RESIGN.

All together:
YEAH.

- GOOD THING THIS ISN'T JAPAN.

YOU'D HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF.

- GOT 'EM.

THREE MALE CAUCS.

THEY DIDN'T PUT UP
MUCH OF A STRUGGLE.

- WHY SHOULD WE?
WE WAS HEADING HERE ANYWAY.

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?

- LARRY, THEY THINK THE
SNOWMAKING THING WAS A SWINDLE.

- OH, DEAR.

I GUESS THEY DON'T HAVE
THE FAITH IN US YOU DO.

- GO FIGURE.

- WHY'D YOU WITHDRAW
ALL YOUR FUNDS

FROM THE BANK THIS MORNING?

- WE MOVED IT TO ANOTHER
FINANCIAL INSTITUTION

THAT WAS PAYING
SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER INTEREST

AND GIVING AWAY TOASTERS.

- WHAT ABOUT THIS CASH REGISTER
YOU'RE LUGGING AROUND?

- WE NEEDED IT TO ADD YOU UP
AN ITEMIZED BILL.

- YOU NEVER HEARD OF
A HAND CALCULATOR?

- YOU CAN GET ONE OF THESE
THAT'LL FIT IN YOUR HAND?

- I WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING
MORE IF I WERE YOU.

YOU BOYS COULD BE LOOKING
AT THREE TO FIVE YEARS

OF KISSING YOUR HEINIES
THROUGH PLATE GLASS.

Larry:
I GUESS WE DESERVE IT.

WE PROMISED YOU SNOW

AND ALL YOU GOT
WAS A SKY FULL OF ZILCH.

DARRYL, ARE YOU SURE
YOU WAS NAKED AND FACING EAST

WHILE YOU WAS
JUGGLING THEM CHIPMUNKS?

IT JUST DON'T FIGURE.

WE COVERED ALL BASES.

- IT'S SNOWING!

( excited chatter )

- BOY, IT'S REALLY
COMING DOWN.

- YEAH.
AND IT'S STICKING TOO.

- I WITHDRAW MY RESIGNATION

AND DECLARE THE SNOW CARNIVAL
OFFICIALLY ON.

-All Together:
YEAH!

( applause )

Larry:
HERE'S YOUR CHECK BACK.

- LARRY, YOU EARNED IT.
YOU MADE IT SNOW.

- THE DEADLINE WAS ONE.

WE WAS A MINUTE
AND A HALF LATE.

BESIDES, THIS IS
SHODDY WORKMANSHIP.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- AS WE FEARED,
TWO IDENTICAL FLAKES.

- CALLING ALL PERKY BLONDES,

YOUR ESCORT SERVICE IS HERE.

- I'M READY.
HOW DO I LOOK?

- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, STEPH.

- MICHAEL,
WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.

HOW AM I TO BE ADDRESSED?

- FORGIVE ME,
YOUR ROYAL FROSTINESS.

AND THAT OUTFIT IS WORTH
EVERY CENT OF THE $20 A DAY

IT'S COSTING ME TO RENT IT.

THE THING IS, THOUGH--

- YES, MICHAEL?

- THE SNOW CARNIVAL
ENDED THREE WEEKS AGO...

YOUR ROYAL FROSTINESS.

( theme music playing )

- MEOW!