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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:04,269 ( music playing ) 2 00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:03,194 - GEORGE, WHAT HAPPENED? 3 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:06,665 - I TRIED TO JUMP OVER THAT BIG MUD PUDDLE IN THE YARD. 4 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,200 I DIDN'T MAKE IT. 5 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,336 - WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WALK AROUND THE PUDDLE? 6 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:14,472 - OH, IT'S NOT EASY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND IN MIDAIR, JOANNA. 7 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,143 I'VE GOTTA GO BACK AND DIG OUT MY BOOT. 8 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,854 - THAT'S REALLY IT OUT THERE, ISN'T IT? 9 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:30,889 - UH, WHAT? 10 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:31,956 - NATURE. 11 00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:33,591 - IN THE FLESH. 12 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:38,396 - HELLO, I'M RUPERT KELLMAN, AND I'M READY. 13 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,033 - FOR WHAT? 14 00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:43,869 - TO CONFRONT NATURE. 15 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:47,272 I-- I WANT TO ENCOUNTER WIND, TO EXPERIENCE FIRE, 16 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,774 TO EMBRACE WATER. 17 00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,410 - IF YOU LIKE, I COULD INTRODUCE YOU TO MUD. 18 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,713 - REALLY? 19 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,249 EXCUSE ME. I DON'T THINK I SHOULD PASS THIS UP. 20 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,187 - HE WANTS TO EMBRACE WATER? 21 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:05,557 - I HATE TO THINK WHAT HE'S GONNA DO TO MUD. 22 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,760 - DICK... 23 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,861 GREAT NEWS. 24 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,963 I JUST MET WITH THE STATION MANAGER AND BEV APPROVED 25 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,999 A STATEWIDE "VERMONT TODAY" TALENT SEARCH FOR ME. 26 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,635 HOTELS, MILEAGE, THE WORKS. 27 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,804 - WE HAVE PLENTY OF GOOD GUESTS RIGHT IN THE AREA. 28 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,208 - WELL, BEV'S NOT SATISFIED WITH THE GUESTS. 29 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,209 - SINCE WHEN? 30 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,311 - SINCE I TOLD HER YOU'RE NOT SATISFIED. 31 00:02:27,246 --> 00:02:28,413 - BUT I AM. 32 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:29,247 - WELL, DICK, I THINK YOU SHOULD'VE MADE THAT CLEAR 33 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:31,282 BEFORE EVERYONE GOT SO WORKED UP. 34 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:33,885 - WELL, I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME 35 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,454 BEFORE I SAY SOMETHING I NEVER SAID. 36 00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:40,992 - MICHAEL, WHY AREN'T YOU AT WORK? 37 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:44,062 Michael: STEPH, GREAT NEWS REGARDING "VERMONT TODAY." 38 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,497 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING AND FOR HOW MANY DAYS? 39 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,035 - ONLY SIX? 40 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,368 FIVE? 41 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,538 FOUR DAYS WITH A PRESENT. 42 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:56,374 - ( sigh ) VERY NICE. 43 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,643 WHAT DO I GET FOR THE OTHER THREE DAYS? 44 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:00,878 - THEY'RE BEING DELIVERED. 45 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,215 AND STEPH, COULD YOU POSSIBLY 46 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,649 STOP BY THE APARTMENT WHILE I'M GONE, 47 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,785 WATER THE PLANTS, SMOOTH MY SWEATERS? 48 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,422 - THIS IS TURNING INTO A NIGHTMARE. 49 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:12,023 - CUPCAKE, YOU KNOW, IT KILLS ME TO LEAVE YOU 50 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,258 BUT I'M DOING THIS FOR DICK. 51 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,793 - WHAT? 52 00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:17,228 - DICK IS MAKING YOU GO? 53 00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,229 - DON'T BLAME HIM, BLAME ME. 54 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,697 I'M LETTING HIM MAKE ME GO. 55 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,501 - I JUST HOPE YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE GOT IN THIS MAN. 56 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,669 - I THINK I DO. 57 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,245 - STEPHANIE, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD 58 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,182 POSSIBLY HURT PLANTS IN FOUR DAYS. 59 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,221 BUT YOU DID. 60 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,957 OH, MY. 61 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,193 ARE THESE ALL YOU? 62 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,062 Stephanie: WELL, THERE ARE SOME STRANGERS 63 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:51,997 IN THE BACKGROUND OF ONE OF THEM. 64 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,566 THE LAB SAID THEY COULDN'T GET THEM OUT. 65 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,635 - STEPHANIE, THIS IS A SHRINE. 66 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,670 - I KNOW. 67 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,806 MICHAEL CALLS IT "CUPCAKE CORNER." 68 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,742 - SO, I THINK ALL THESE PLANTS NEED 69 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,711 IS A LITTLE WATER AND SUNLIGHT. 70 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,920 "SHORT-TERM GOALS: 71 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,188 HIGHER RATINGS, 72 00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:20,792 MORE EXCITING GUESTS, SMELL EVEN BETTER." 73 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,427 - OBVIOUSLY THEY'RE NOT IN ORDER. 74 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:31,536 - "LONG-TERM GOALS: ACCOMPLISH TAKEOVER OF CBS, 75 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,707 GET CHUMMY WITH SINATRA"? 76 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,275 - OF COURSE, THAT'LL BE A LOT EASIER 77 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,644 ONCE THE CBS THING HAPPENS. 78 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:41,913 - RIGHT. 79 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:42,981 WELL, I'LL WATER. 80 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,017 WHY DON'T YOU SEE IF YOU CAN FIND SOME PLANT FOOD. 81 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,620 - BOY! WATER, FOOD, SUNLIGHT. 82 00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:51,856 REMIND ME NEVER TO HAVE CHILDREN. 83 00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,426 OOH! 84 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,629 WHAT'S THIS? 85 00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,798 - STEPHANIE, THAT LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL'S DIARY. 86 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,332 - OOH! 87 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,936 NICE LEATHER. 88 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,904 DARLING LITTLE LOCK. 89 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,645 STURDY TOO. 90 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,249 - STEPHANIE, THIS BOOK IS LOCKED FOR A REASON. 91 00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:20,050 - ALL RIGHT. I'LL PUT IT AWAY. 92 00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:28,692 ( click ) 93 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,130 - STEPHANIE! 94 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,797 - JOANNA, I'M TRYING TO READ! 95 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,133 - YOU SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT THAT. 96 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,834 THOSE ARE MICHAEL'S PRIVATE THOUGHTS. 97 00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:37,902 - OH, YEAH? 98 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:41,439 WHOSE EYES WERE ALL OVER HIS SHORT-TERM GOALS? 99 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,808 HERE'S MY NAME. 100 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:48,379 "OCTOBER 4TH: STEPH NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME. 101 00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:51,782 SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, PERKY." 102 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,418 BOY, DOES HE KNOW ME? 103 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:55,954 "HOW COULD SOMEONE THAT PERFECT 104 00:05:55,989 --> 00:06:01,525 TURN INTO SUCH A THOUGHTLESS, SELFISH, CHILD?" 105 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:06,664 - STEPHANIE, I THINK WE SHOULD PUT THIS AWAY AND GO. 106 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,865 - OH, NO, JOANNA. 107 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,934 WE CAN'T LEAVE YET. 108 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:14,305 I TOLD MICHAEL I'D SMOOTH HIS SWEATERS FOR HIM. 109 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,416 OKAY, WE CAN GO NOW. 110 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:36,460 - I'M BACK. 111 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,395 - HI, MR. KELLMAN. 112 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,663 HOW'S YOUR HAND DOING? 113 00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,797 - WELL, IT'S STILL THROBBING, 114 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,432 BUT THAT'S A SMALL PRICE TO PAY 115 00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,534 FOR THAT TASTE OF FRESH HONEY. 116 00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,038 - I WISH YOU'D BE MORE CAREFUL. 117 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:51,342 - DON'T WORRY. I SPENT A QUIET DAY COLLECTING LEAVES. 118 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,478 - YOU COLLECT POISON OAK? 119 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,213 - OH DEAR. 120 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,182 - THAT'S YOUR GOOD HAND, TOO, ISN'T IT? 121 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,185 - YEAH. 122 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,856 WELL, I GUESS THAT'S NATURE, HUH? 123 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:09,093 BEAUTIFUL, TREACHEROUS, AWE-INSPIRING. 124 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,729 - ITCHY. 125 00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:19,370 - STEPHANIE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 126 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,605 YOU LOOK PALE. 127 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,207 - I'VE BEEN READING A HORROR STORY. 128 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:26,077 Joanna: STEPHANIE, YOU DIDN'T. 129 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,779 - DON'T START LECTURING ME. 130 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,179 I'M TOO UPSET. 131 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:32,483 - WHAT'S STEPHANIE UPSET ABOUT? 132 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,485 - I-- I REALLY DON'T KNOW, GEORGE. 133 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:37,187 - I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU READ THAT. 134 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,457 - I THINK SHE READ SOMETHING, DICK. 135 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,061 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF STUFF IS IN HERE? 136 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,663 "STEPHANIE DOESN'T NEED A BOYFRIEND, 137 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,198 SHE NEEDS A BABYSITTER." 138 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,700 - WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR READING HIS DIARY. 139 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,503 - OKAY, DICK, I'VE ALMOST GOT IT. 140 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,308 - AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED "CUPCAKE CORNER" 141 00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:59,243 IS A CRUEL HOAX. 142 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,413 - NEVER MIND. 143 00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:11,155 - WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL GEORGE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 144 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,857 I'M TRYING TO READ. 145 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,925 - STEPHANIE READ MICHAEL'S DIARY. 146 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,361 - AHA! 147 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,628 - STEPHANIE DID WHAT? 148 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,530 - DON'T YOU START! 149 00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,565 - STEPHANIE, WHAT YOU DID WAS A FLAGRANT VIOLATION 150 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,434 OF MICHAEL'S PRIVACY. 151 00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:24,435 - MICHAEL'S RIGHT. 152 00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,637 YOU ARE SANCTIMONIOUS. 153 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,342 PAGE 55. 154 00:08:33,345 --> 00:08:34,545 - JOANNA! 155 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,547 - HE SAYS MUCH WORSE THINGS ABOUT YOU. 156 00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:38,582 - I DON'T CARE. 157 00:08:38,617 --> 00:08:41,052 - "IN WALKED THE SANCTIMONIOUS JOANNA, 158 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,920 LITTLE MISS PERFECT." 159 00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:44,756 - OKAY. 160 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:45,690 LET ME HAVE IT. 161 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,558 RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES. 162 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,360 WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUT ME? 163 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:53,197 - I DON'T KNOW IF HE MENTIONS YOU, GEORGE. 164 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,598 - WELL, HE MUST SAY SOMETHING. 165 00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:57,434 I'M A NATURAL TARGET. 166 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,436 - I-- I DON'T THINK YOU'RE MENTIONED. 167 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,370 - OH MY GOD, DICK. 168 00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:01,973 HE REALLY LAYS YOU OUT. 169 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,677 - HEY, HEY. HERE'S SOMETHING REAL NASTY ABOUT ME. 170 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,579 UH, NEVER MIND. 171 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,548 IT'S ABOUT DICK. 172 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:15,452 IT'S LIKE I DON'T EVEN EXIST. 173 00:09:15,487 --> 00:09:17,521 - I'M "MISS BUTTINSKY"? 174 00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:19,623 - WELL, I'M A HIGH-BRED BRAT. 175 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,258 - I'M NOTHING. 176 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,229 - AND DICK IS... 177 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,231 All: OH! 178 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,169 - HI, ALL. 179 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,170 I'M BACK. 180 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,772 MISS ME? 181 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,547 PERHAPS YOU-- YOU REMEMBER ME. 182 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,082 MICHAEL HARRIS? 183 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,318 AND HOW'S MY REASON TO LIVE? 184 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:48,786 - DROP DEAD. 185 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,925 - STILL MIFFED ABOUT THIS NASTY TRIP BUSINESS? 186 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,495 WELL, GET READY TO FORGIVE. 187 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,263 I FIDDLED WITH THE ODOMETER AND WE CAN DINE OUT 188 00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:01,465 THE REST OF THE WEEK ON THE EXTRA MILEAGE. 189 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:05,202 SHALL WE START TOMORROW AT SEVEN? 190 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,939 - HIGH-BRED BRATS NEVER EAT BEFORE EIGHT. 191 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,842 - WELL, EIGHT IT IS. 192 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,817 DICK, I FOUND SOME PRIMO GUESTS FOR THE SHOW. 193 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,053 HOW ABOUT WE CONFAB IN THE MORNING, SAY OVER BREAKFAST? 194 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:23,987 - FINE. 195 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,055 - THAT IS, IF IT ISN'T A PROBLEM 196 00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:27,825 TO SET AN EXTRA PLATE. 197 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,795 - WHAT COULD BE A PROBLEM FOR LITTLE MISS PERFECT? 198 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,031 - WELL, GOOD. 199 00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:36,500 GEORGE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU COME IN. 200 00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,035 - I DIDN'T. 201 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,071 - WELL, THAT EXPLAINS IT. 202 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,840 WALK A WEARY TRAVELER TO HIS CAR? 203 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:43,974 - I MIGHT DO THAT FOR MY BOYFRIEND 204 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,344 BUT NOT MY BABYSITTER. 205 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,214 - DO YOU EVER GET THAT EERIE SENSE OF-- 206 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:52,717 OF DEJA VU? 207 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,754 IT'S LIKE I HEARD ALL THESE THINGS BEFORE. 208 00:10:56,789 --> 00:11:00,057 - MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WROTE THEM IN YOUR DIARY. 209 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,459 - OH, RIGHT. RIGHT. 210 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,626 WELL, GOODNIGHT. 211 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:16,707 MY DIARY? 212 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,777 - HERE. TAKE A CLOSER LOOK. 213 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,615 - OH, STEPH, THERE'S A SIMPLE EXPLANATION. 214 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:28,419 MY, UH, MY PEN SLIPPED. 215 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,757 JOANNA, I-- I HOPE YOU UNDER... 216 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,658 STAND. YOU DON'T. 217 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,895 GEORGE, OH BUDDY, I KNOW I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BAD 218 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:38,896 ABOUT YOU IN HERE. 219 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,531 - SO, YOU ADMIT IT! 220 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:44,068 - I'M SORRY. 221 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,872 OH, DICK. 222 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,044 THOSE THINGS I SAID... 223 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,746 - MICHAEL, PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE. 224 00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:56,747 I DIDN'T EVEN... 225 00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:57,748 - IT WAS ONLY IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT 226 00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:00,017 THAT I CALLED YOU "THE HUMAN TRANQUILIZER." 227 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,753 - I AM NOT THE LEAST... 228 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,058 "THE HUMAN TRANQUILIZER"? 229 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,994 YOU CALLED ME "THE HUMAN TRANQUILIZER"? 230 00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,462 - DICK, IT WAS ONLY AFTER THAT ONE SHOW. 231 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:12,530 OKAY, TWO SHOWS. 232 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,831 BUT THEY WERE RIGHT IN A ROW. 233 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:14,832 - GET OUT! OUT! 234 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,767 - DICK! 235 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,768 OUT! 236 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,745 - I HAVE ENCOUNTERED WILDLIFE. 237 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,983 - SKUNK, RIGHT? 238 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,587 - EWW! ICK! PEW, PEW, PEW! 239 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:37,588 ICK! ICK! 240 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,390 PEW, PEW, PEW! 241 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,759 - SO, WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST? 242 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:44,294 - UH, IF IT'S THE SAME TO YOU, 243 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,997 WHY DON'T WE SERVE BREAKFAST TO YOU 244 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,365 ON THE-- ON THE BACK PORCH? 245 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:52,569 THAT WAY THE PIGEONS WILL LAND RIGHT-- RIGHT ON YOUR PLATE. 246 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:54,772 - REALLY? 247 00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:57,475 BOY THIS VACATION JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER. 248 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,011 Stephanie: ICK! PEW, PEW! 249 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:06,183 - SURE HOPE NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS TO HIM. 250 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,319 THEN AGAIN, I WANT HIM TO ENJOY HIMSELF. 251 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,992 - MAY-- MAY I COME IN? 252 00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,260 - WHAT DO YOU WANT, MICHAEL? 253 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:19,196 - WELL, WE DID SET A MEETING TO TALK ABOUT SUNDAY'S SHOW. 254 00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:20,197 IF WE DON'T PICK A GUEST, 255 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,833 YOU'LL WIND UP INTERVIEWING AN EMPTY CHAIR. 256 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,402 NOT THAT YOU COULDN'T PULL THAT OFF. 257 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,038 - I JUST WANNA GET THIS OVERWITH. 258 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,042 - WELL, HERE ARE THE TEN BEST PEOPLE 259 00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,210 I-- I FOUND ON MY TRIP. 260 00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:35,947 IT'S SORT OF MY OWN PERSONAL "TEN MOST WANTED" LIST. 261 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,214 ( chuckling ) 262 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,916 I HATE IT WHEN I DO THAT TOO, DICK. 263 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,057 STEPH, IS THAT YOU OR JUST A LIFE-SIZE EDITION OF VOGUE? 264 00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:48,325 ( spitting ) 265 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,527 DICK DO I HAVE TO TAKE THIS FOOD TO MR. KELLMAN? 266 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,730 HE SMELLS. 267 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,030 - I'LL TAKE IT. 268 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:57,101 ONE SKUNK IS AS BAD AS ANOTHER. 269 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,604 - MICHAEL, YOU SEARCHED THE STATE FOR FOUR DAYS 270 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:01,605 AND CAME BACK WITH A MAN 271 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,342 WHO DOES HAND SHADOWS OF VICE PRESIDENTS? 272 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,445 - HE'S PRETTY GOOD, DICK. 273 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,513 - I DON'T WANT HIM. 274 00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:10,481 - I DON'T BLAME YOU. 275 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:15,286 - MICHAEL, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAT? 276 00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:16,987 - WELL-- WELL THANK YOU, JOANNA. 277 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,723 THAT-- THAT WOULD BE VERY KIND. 278 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:25,929 - OOPS, LITTLE MISS PERFECT MISSED THE HAT RACK. 279 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:26,930 MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT? 280 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:27,898 - NO. 281 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,701 - WATCH OUT. HEADS UP. 282 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,036 GANGWAY. 283 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,771 - OW! 284 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,406 - WELL, I SAID "WATCH OUT." 285 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,443 - WHAT IS-- WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT THIS ACROBAT? 286 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,445 - HE'S 92 YEARS OLD. 287 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,913 HE'S KIND OF AN INSPIRATION, DICK. 288 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,448 - WHAT KIND OF TRICKS CAN HE DO? 289 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,783 - WELL, NOT MANY, 290 00:14:47,252 --> 00:14:49,954 BUT HE COMES WITH HIS OWN MATS. 291 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,389 - NO. - HE'S OUT. 292 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,769 - MICHAEL, MY GOODNESS. 293 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:08,705 I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. 294 00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:09,640 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT, GEORGE. 295 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,175 BETTER SAT ON - OW! 296 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:12,642 THAN THAT. 297 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:15,579 DICK, UH, FORGET THE LIST. 298 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:19,116 WHO-- WHO WOULD YOU LIKE ON THE SHOW THIS WEEK? 299 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:23,120 - WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THAT GEOLOGIST. 300 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:26,156 - WELL, WHY NOT? 301 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,891 SAY GOODBYE TO STEPHANIE FOR ME. 302 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,127 - DON'T FORGET YOUR HAT. 303 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,494 - I NEVER WILL. 304 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,932 WELL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, DICK. 305 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,604 I-- I HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL-- 306 00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:41,638 SOON. 307 00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:48,178 - OH NO. HE'S GONE? 308 00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:49,380 - HE JUST LEFT. 309 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:52,882 - DAMN. I RELOADED FOR NOTHING. 310 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:54,017 ISN'T THAT JUST LIKE HIM? 311 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,053 THE MAN IS FILTH. 312 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,656 - DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE TOOK MY CHAIR? 313 00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,657 SAT RIGHT DOWN IN IT 314 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,659 WHILE THE CUSHION WAS STILL WARM. 315 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:02,893 WHAT A SNEAK! 316 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:03,960 - HE'S AN OPPORTUNIST. 317 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:04,995 HE'S A MANIPULATOR. 318 00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,096 HE'S... 319 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,565 BUG SPIT. 320 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:10,534 - NOW, WE'RE-- WE'RE GETTING CLOSE 321 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,070 TO CROSSING A LINE HERE. 322 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,971 I MEAN, DON'T-- DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 323 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,107 - YEAH. WE'RE TRASHING MICHAEL. 324 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,743 - AND IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PITCH IN, BUTT OUT. 325 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,915 - COME ON. HE-- HE CALLED US NAMES BECAUSE HE WAS ANGRY AND-- 326 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,985 AND WE'RE DOING THE SAME THING. 327 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:31,288 WELL, NOT-- NOT ME. 328 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,724 I MEAN, MICHAEL IS A REAL VICTIM HERE. 329 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,559 WE STOLE HIS DIARY. 330 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,897 WELL, NOT-- NOT-- NOT ME. 331 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,402 - WELL, I READ IT BUT I CERTAINLY DIDN'T STEAL IT. 332 00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:47,337 - WELL, NEITHER DID I. 333 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,845 ( music playing ) 334 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,120 ( doorbell rings ) 335 00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:08,959 - DICK, JOANNA, 336 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,060 CUPCAKE. 337 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,265 ( doorbell rings ) 338 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,014 SO, WHAT-- WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? 339 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,418 DID YOU THINK OF SOME MORE STUFF TO DO TO ME? 340 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,819 - STEPHANIE HAS SOMETHING SHE-- 341 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:36,820 SHE WANTS TO SAY TO YOU 342 00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:39,290 FOR-- FOR ALL OF US. 343 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,925 - OH, POOH. 344 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:44,195 - THERE'S MORE. 345 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,566 - MICHAEL, AFTER YOU LEFT 346 00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:53,170 WE STARTED TO SAY A LOT OF BAD THINGS... 347 00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,307 WHERE'S THE PICTURE OF ME IN BLUE? 348 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,876 IT WAS MY NINTH FAVORITE. 349 00:17:59,911 --> 00:18:01,010 - I-- I TOOK IT DOWN. 350 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,879 - TOOK IT DOWN? 351 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:07,351 WHY DON'T YOU JUST PULL A BLOCK OUT OF THE PYRAMIDS? 352 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,153 - UH, STEPHANIE, YOU WERE-- YOU WERE SAYING? 353 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:10,787 - I DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANOTHER THING. 354 00:18:10,822 --> 00:18:13,357 AFTER THIS, MICHAEL AND I ARE EVEN. 355 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,227 - WELL, MAYBE-- MAYBE I CAN EXPAND 356 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,897 ON STEPHANIE'S THEME HERE. 357 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,732 AFTER YOU LEFT... 358 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,371 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 359 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:31,809 - CUPCAKE CORNER. - AH. 360 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:35,012 ANYWAY, AFTER-- AFTER YOU LEFT WE-- 361 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,348 WE WERE SAYING TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU. 362 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,885 WELL, NOT-- NOT-- NOT ME. 363 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,522 BUT WE WERE-- WE WERE SAYING TERRIBLE THINGS 364 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:48,692 BECAUSE WE-- WE-- WE WERE ANGRY. 365 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:51,728 WELL, NOT-- NOT-- NOT-- NOT ME. 366 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,366 THE-- THE POINT IS THAT, 367 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:59,002 I MEAN, EVERYONE IS GUILTY OF HARBORING BAD THOUGHTS 368 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:01,338 ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE. 369 00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,473 - BUT-- BUT NOT YOU. 370 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,042 - IN-- INCLUDING ME. 371 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,244 - YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE BAD THOUGHTS ABOUT ME. 372 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,746 - I HAVE BAD THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. 373 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:12,082 - ( chuckling ) COME ON, DICK. 374 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:13,216 YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN YOU. 375 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,819 - I'M CHOCK-FULL OF BAD THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU. 376 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:16,820 - NAME ONE. 377 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,789 - MICHAEL, I-- I'M NOT GONNA CALL YOU NAMES. 378 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:19,790 - SEE? 379 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,024 YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN YA. 380 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,126 - YOU'RE SHALLOW, OKAY? 381 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,529 - "SHALLOW"? 382 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,301 I-- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT. 383 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,871 - JOANNA CALLED YOU-- 384 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,641 HONEY, WHAT-- WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM? 385 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:40,510 - MANIPULATOR, OPPORTUNIST, UH... 386 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:42,045 - SHALLOW? 387 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,382 - I CALLED YOU A SNEAK. 388 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,318 - DICK, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. 389 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,351 - DID YOU HEAR WHAT GEORGE SAID? 390 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,519 A SNEAK. 391 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:53,723 AND-- AND YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD WHAT STEPHANIE SAID. 392 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,959 - JOANNA CALLED YOU "BUG SPIT." 393 00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:59,362 - STEPHANIE! 394 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:00,497 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 395 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,400 I CALLED YOU "FILTH." 396 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,435 - WOW. 397 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:07,871 "SHALLOW"? 398 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,444 WELL, THANKS EVERYBODY. 399 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,447 YOU'VE GIVEN ME A NEW GOAL FOR MY BOARD. 400 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:23,119 "FIND REASON TO LIVE." 401 00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:27,057 - MICHAEL, WILL YOU STOP FOR A SECOND AND-- AND LISTEN TO ME? 402 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,495 "GET CHUMMY WITH SINATRA"? 403 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:38,402 WE, UH, WE CAME HERE TO-- TO APOLOGIZE. 404 00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:41,205 - APOLOGIZE? WHY SHOULD YOU APOLOGIZE? 405 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,172 - BE-- BE-- BECAUSE WE READ YOUR DIARY. 406 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:46,042 THOSE WERE YOUR PERSONAL, PRIVATE THOUGHTS. 407 00:20:46,077 --> 00:20:47,477 - I KNOW. I'M SORRY. 408 00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,546 I WAS WRONG TO HAVE PERSONAL THOUGHTS. 409 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,115 - EVERYONE HAS PERSONAL THOUGHTS. 410 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,618 ALL-- ALL YOU DID WAS-- WAS WRITE THEM DOWN. 411 00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:57,187 - I'M SORRY. I'LL BURN THE DIARY. 412 00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:03,560 - MICHAEL, IT-- IT WAS WRONG OF-- 413 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,797 OF-- OF US TO-- 414 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,465 TO READ 415 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:12,603 YOUR 416 00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:13,637 DIARY. 417 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,141 - LET ME SEE IF I'M FOLLOWING THIS. 418 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:21,244 YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE WRONG? 419 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,479 - MORALLY WRONG. 420 00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:27,518 - THEN I'M RIGHT. - YES. 421 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,455 - MORALLY RIGHT. 422 00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:34,758 - I THINK WE FINALLY STRUCK BRAINS. 423 00:21:36,027 --> 00:21:38,194 - SO, IN OTHER WORDS, WHAT I'M ENTITLED TO FEEL HERE 424 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,530 IS A KIND OF... 425 00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:41,632 OUTRAGE? 426 00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,100 - MORAL OUTRAGE. 427 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,335 - WELL ALL RIGHT. 428 00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:46,569 GET OUT! EVERYBODY OUT! 429 00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:47,905 - MICHAEL! - COME ON, DON'T TALK. 430 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,206 JUST GO. OUT! SCRAM! 431 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:50,240 BEAT IT! 432 00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:57,047 DICK, HOW LONG DOES ONE REMAIN MORALLY OUTRAGED? 433 00:21:59,050 --> 00:22:00,216 - SIX DAYS. - RIGHT. GET OUT! 434 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:13,430 - WELL, I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU FOLKS. 435 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,266 - WELL, OBVIOUSLY SHAKING HANDS IS OUT. 436 00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,737 - HERE'S YOUR RECEIPT, AND DOC PHIPPS SAYS 437 00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:21,772 IF YOU'LL JUST STOP BY ON YOUR WAY OUT OF TOWN, 438 00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:24,141 HE'LL BE HAPPY TO GIVE YOU THAT RABIES SHOT. 439 00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:27,477 - WELL, THANKS AGAIN, AND REST ASSURED 440 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:30,680 I'LL BE TELLING EVERYONE I KNOW ABOUT THE STRATFORD INN. 441 00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:35,285 - YEAH, HE'LL BE A WALKING ADVERTISEMENT FOR THIS PLACE. 442 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,294 ( music playing ) 443 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,321 ( music playing ) 30250

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