All language subtitles for Newhart S03E21

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:55,087 [FOOTSTEPS] 2 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,758 WELL, YOUR BATHROOM NOW HAS A SHOWER MASSAGE. 3 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,360 OH, THANK YOU, GEORGE. 4 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,063 GEE, THAT TOOK QUITE A WHILE. I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO DIFFICULT. 5 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,065 WELL, IT WASN'T HARD TO INSTALL. 6 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,969 IT'S KIND OF HARD TO WALK AWAY FROM THE TRIAL RUN. 7 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:14,539 HI, EVERYBODY. I'M BACK FROM MY BIKE RIDE. 8 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,411 THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING TO GET ME, DICK. 9 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,581 OKAY. UH, BUT NEXT TIME YOU GO ON A BIKE RIDE, 10 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,683 COULD YOU PLAN IT AS A ROUND-TRIP? 11 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:29,053 IF I HAD RIDDEN BACK, I WOULD'VE COME HOME FLUSHED. 12 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,623 WELL, THANK GOD I GOT YOU 13 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,825 BEFORE YOU DID ANYTHING FOOLISH. 14 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,361 HI, GEORGE. HI, HONEY. 15 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,862 WHAT'S-- WHAT'S THE CAMERA FOR? 16 00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,364 WELL, WHILE IT'S ON MY MIND, 17 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,166 I REALLY WANNA GET A CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE. 18 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,767 IN MAY? 19 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,738 YEAH. ISN'T THAT CUTTING IT KIND OF CLOSE? 20 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:50,275 WELL, EVERY YEAR, I WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE, AND THEN IT'S TOO LATE. 21 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,244 IT'S ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME. 22 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,479 OH, COME ON, HONEY. IT'LL BE FUN. 23 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,648 I'LL PUT A WREATH AND SOME STOCKINGS ON THE MANTEL, 24 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,916 AND WE'LL ALL BUNDLE UP IN WARM CLOTHES. 25 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,752 WE'LL GATHER AROUND A ROARING FIRE. 26 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,455 YEAH, AND THEN WE'LL ALL FALL OVER FROM HEAT PROSTRATION. 27 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,958 AND WE'LL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, PERSONALIZED CHRISTMAS CARD. 28 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,793 JOANNA, ARE YOU SERIOUS? 29 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,795 WEAR WOOL OUT OF SEASON? 30 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,830 YEAH. COME ON, JOANNA. 31 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,100 WELL, IT SOUNDS GREAT TO ME. 32 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:19,904 I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL THE CHESTNUTS ROASTING. 33 00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:24,042 I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW PEOPLE COULD EAT THOSE THINGS. 34 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,243 WHAT DO YOU SAY, HONEY? 35 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,878 OKAY, BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE 36 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,446 ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE DECORATIONS, 37 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,315 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO CHANGE CLOTHES, 38 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,652 AND I DON'T WANT TO SMILE IF I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. 39 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,087 LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND OUR SANTA. 40 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,589 HI. 41 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,291 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 42 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,626 I'M LARRY. THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL, 43 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,061 AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER DARRYL. 44 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,429 HI, GUYS. 45 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,264 YOU ARE ALL INVITED OVER TO OUR PLACE 46 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,600 TO HELP CELEBRATE THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT 47 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,468 IN OUR ADULTHOOD. 48 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:53,738 WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 49 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,907 WE'RE RICH. 50 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,711 WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THAT MONEY? 51 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,280 WON IT IN A NATIONWIDE JINGLE CONTEST. 52 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,781 YOU WROTE A JINGLE? 53 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:05,850 WELL, NOT ME. 54 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,852 DARRYL HERE IS THE TUNESMITH, 55 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,454 AND DARRYL HERE IS THE WORDSMITH. 56 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,022 WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO, LARRY? 57 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,825 I'M THE ONE THAT SAID IT SHOULD BE REGGAE. 58 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,596 IT'S A TEAM EFFORT. 59 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,232 I SPARK DARRYL, AND DARRYL SPARKS ME. 60 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,867 DARRYL SPARKS DARRYL, AND DARRYL SPARKS DARRYL. 61 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,436 DARRYL SPARKS ME, I SPARK-- 62 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,471 O-O-OKAY. 63 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:29,173 WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR OUR AWARD-WINNING COMPOSITION? 64 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,746 FEEL FREE TO DANCE AND GO CRAZY. 65 00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:39,317 ONE, TWO. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. 66 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,420 � POPPITY POP POPPY, POPPITY POP POPPY � �� 67 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:44,289 � LOOK AT THAT POPCORN POP � 68 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,991 � POPPITY POP POPPY, POPPITY POP POPPY � 69 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,561 � BIG AND FIRM AND HOT � 70 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,797 � CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCHY, CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCHY � 71 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,533 � STUFF IT DOWN YOUR FACE � 72 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,669 � SWALLOW, SWALLOW, SWALLOW � 73 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,804 � SWALLOW, SWALLOW, SWALLOW � 74 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:03,541 � WOW, IT'S THE BEST TASTE ANYWHERE � �� [STOPS] 75 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,710 � ANYPLACE � �� [RESUMES] 76 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,187 HOW-- HOW MUCH DID-- DID YOU WIN FOR THAT? 77 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,490 $30,000. 78 00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:23,428 AND-- AND THEY-- THEY SAY LIFE ISN'T FAIR. 79 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,665 WELL, WAY TO GO, GUYS. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY? 80 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,800 WE AIN'T DECIDED YET. BUT DON'T WORRY. 81 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,735 WE AIN'T GONNA LET IT GO TO OUR HEADS. 82 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:34,005 ALL THIS MONEY AIN'T GONNA CHANGE US ONE IOTA. 83 00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,216 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 84 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,884 COME IN. 85 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,024 HI. I'M LARRY. THIS IS MY BROTHER DA-- 86 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,227 YEAH, I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE, GUYS. 87 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,895 MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US. 88 00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,565 WE'VE BEEN HAVING A FISCAL RUCKUS OVER OUR WINNINGS. 89 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,767 SO FAR, THE ONLY THING WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO AGREE ON 90 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,069 IS TO BUY THESE CHAPEAUX. 91 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:08,005 WELL, I-- I CAN SEE WHY THAT WOULD BE UNANIMOUS. 92 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:11,075 UH, WH-WHAT ARE YOU ARGUING ABOUT? 93 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,745 WELL, DARRYL THINKS WE SHOULD BURY THE MONEY, 94 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:17,349 AND DARRYL THINKS WE SHOULD MOVE TO KANSAS CITY. 95 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:20,352 HE HEARD THEY GOT SOME CRAZY LITTLE WOMEN THERE. 96 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,925 WELL, THAT, UH, KANSAS CITY IDEA HAS MERIT. 97 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,363 BUT YOU PROBABLY SHOULD PUT IT IN A BANK. 98 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,365 YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE SAFE, AND IT WOULD, UH-- 99 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,968 IT WOULD GET YOU ABOUT TEN PERCENT INTEREST. 100 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:40,271 YOUR MONEY WOULD EARN ABOUT $3,000 A YEAR. 101 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,973 HOLD ON. 102 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,542 THEY'RE GONNA STASH OUR MONEY FOR US, 103 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,478 AND PAY US TOO? 104 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,079 RIGHT. 105 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,915 THAT'S JUST WEIRD. 106 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,017 I DON'T KNOW IF WE COULD TRUST OUR FUNDS 107 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,788 WITH SOMEBODY EXERCISING THAT KIND OF JUDGMENT. 108 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,924 WELL, THERE ARE, 109 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:03,261 UH, BONDS, STOCKS, SECURITIES. 110 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,530 FREE MONEY WITH THOSE TOO? 111 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,365 YEAH. 112 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,735 UH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU COULD DO. 113 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,470 YOU COULD, UH, SPEND A LITTLE OF IT 114 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,706 TO KIND OF IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIVES. 115 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,708 WE ALREADY GOT THE HATS. 116 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,713 HI, DICK. OH, MY GOODNESS. LOOK WHO'S HERE. 117 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,282 HEARD THE NEWS, FELLAS. CONGRATS TIMES THREE. 118 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,917 WELL, THANK YOU CUBED. 119 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,353 MAY I PUT A BUG IN YOUR EAR? 120 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:31,523 SURE. 121 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,357 MICHAEL HARRIS PRODUCTIONS. 122 00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:35,593 TV PILOTS ARE ONE OF YOUR TOP INVESTMENT VALUES. 123 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,595 IF THIS TAKES OFF THE WAY I THINK IT WILL, 124 00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:39,831 YOU'LL BE EARNING 20, MAYBE 30 PERCENT INTEREST. 125 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,733 FREE MONEY? BUSHELS OF IT. 126 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,568 COME ON, DARRYL. 127 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,503 IT'S A SAD DAY WHEN TV PEOPLE 128 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,839 ARE NO MORE RELIABLE THAN A BANK. 129 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,258 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THIS A BEAUTY, OR WHAT? 130 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,293 GEORGE, WHAT ON EARTH! 131 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:11,596 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 132 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,165 I WASN'T REALLY PLANNING ON HAVING A TREE. 133 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,801 OH. THEN SURPRISE. 134 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,136 GEE, GEORGE, I DON'T KNOW. 135 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,606 DICK ISN'T TOO KEEN ON THIS PHOTOGRAPH AS IT IS. 136 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,108 JOANNA, IT WOULDN'T BE CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TREE. 137 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,177 IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS. 138 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,647 SURE BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE IT. 139 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,816 WELL, I-- OH, JOANNA, COME ON. 140 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,818 DON'T BE A SCROOGE. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 141 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,688 STEPHANIE, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED IN A CHRISTMAS PICTURE. 142 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,623 A PERSON CAN CHANGE. 143 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,826 A PERSON CAN GET CAUGHT UP IN THE SPIRIT OF THINGS. 144 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,963 A PERSON CAN NOTICE A CHANCE TO GET PRESENTS. 145 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,233 OKAY. WHAT'S CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TREE? 146 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,635 OH, GOOD. 147 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,109 WHO'S, UH-- WHO'S YOUR FRIEND? 148 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,011 ISN'T IT A GREAT TREE, DICK? 149 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,746 BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S, HUH? 150 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:05,249 YEAH, THERE'S ALWAYS A BETTER SELECTION IN THE SPRING. 151 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,719 OH, HONEY, DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT GONNA BE HERE LONG. 152 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,087 WE'LL TAKE THE PICTURE FRIDAY, AND WE'LL CLEAR EVERYTHING OUT. 153 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,557 OKAY, BUT IF I SEE LIVESTOCK OR SHEPHERDS 154 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:15,126 IN THE INN, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE WORDS. 155 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,266 HI. I'M LARRY, 156 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,435 AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER DARRYL. 157 00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:28,006 HI, GUYS. 158 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,110 WHERE-- WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER DARRYL? 159 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:36,113 LAST NIGHT, WE HAD A BIG ALTERCATION ABOUT THE MONEY. 160 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,049 THIS MORNING WHEN WE GOT UP, DARRYL WAS GONE, 161 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,184 AND SO WAS HIS THIRD OF THE WINNINGS. 162 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,521 WE'RE THINKING IT'S MORE THAN COINCIDENCE. 163 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,756 OH, NO. 164 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,758 YEP. IN ONE FELL SWOOP, 165 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,761 WE LOST A BROTHER AND A LYRICIST. 166 00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:56,701 �� [LIGHT INSTRUMENTAL] 167 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,606 [MAN] WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE EASY LISTENING 168 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,274 AFTER THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE. 169 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,243 [CHORUS] � POPPITY POP POPPY, POPPITY POP POPPY � 170 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,213 � LOOK AT THAT POPCORN POP � 171 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:12,483 � POPPITY POP POPPY, POPPITY POP POPPY � 172 00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,686 � BIG AND FIRM AND HOT � 173 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,454 �� [STOPS] 174 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,991 WE'RE JUST BEING MOCKED BY OUR OWN SUCCESS. 175 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,829 OH. WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DARRYL. 176 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:28,132 NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AREN'T HIM. 177 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:31,903 YEAH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED BY THE STATISTICS. 178 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,838 THIS IS, UH, CONSTABLE SHIFFLETT. 179 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,206 HEY. 180 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,374 YEAH, I... 181 00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:39,911 TH-THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU FIND DARRYL. 182 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,779 I HOPE SO. 183 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,115 IT'S LONELY WITHOUT HIM. 184 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,117 NOW WE KNOW HOW THE SUPREMES FELT 185 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,653 WHEN DIANA ROSS LEFT. 186 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,689 STRANGE HOW IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS 187 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,625 THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMEBODY. 188 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:56,861 I CAN'T LOOK AT THE GREASE SPOT ON HIS PILLOW WITHOUT THINKING OF DARRYL. 189 00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,798 WELL, THAT'S NOT ONE OF THE LITTLE THINGS, 190 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,800 BUT YOU TAKE MY MEANING? 191 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,702 DID YOU CHECK HIS USUAL HANGOUTS? 192 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,537 YEAH. HE AIN'T HERE. 193 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,107 OKAY. WHAT ABOUT A DESCRIPTION? 194 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,875 WELL, THE CLOTHES HE WAS WEARING 195 00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,077 ARE KIND OF LIKE DARRYL'S HERE-- 196 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,446 LOOSE FITTING BUT COMPLEMENTARY. 197 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,517 UH, "HE'S GOT STRAIGHT, SKUNK-BACK HAIR, 198 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:22,854 PENETRATING EYES, STURDY BUILD"-- 199 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,355 LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. 200 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,923 WHEN THEY WERE PASSING OUT LOOKS, 201 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:28,192 HE WAS THE FIRST IN LINE. 202 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,561 THAT'S WHY HE'S CALLED "THE FACE." 203 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,633 HE-- HE IS? 204 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,871 THE FACE. CHECK. 205 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,007 "HIS FAVORITE MOVIE IS IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. 206 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,142 TURN-ONS INCLUDE"-- 207 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,078 UH, LARRY, I-- 208 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,114 I DON'T THINK THE-- THE CONSTABLE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT. 209 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,217 THE MORE I KNOW, THE EASIER IT'LL BE TO FIND HIM. GO AHEAD. 210 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,155 "TURN-ONS INCLUDE WALKING THROUGH MUD 211 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,657 "AND THE LETTER Y. 212 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,093 "TURN-OFFS ARE SOAKING DIRTY PANS, 213 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:05,596 ANYTHING WITH THREE LEGS AND BERMUDA SHORTS." 214 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,833 WELL, SOUNDS LIKE IF I FIND HIM, I'LL LIKE HIM. 215 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,508 THIS TREE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, 216 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,410 WHEN WE'RE DONE, I WANNA GET A PICTURE. 217 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,746 THAT WAS THE IDEA, GEORGE. 218 00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,281 OH, YEAH. RIGHT. 219 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,751 [SIGHS] 220 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,887 WHOO-WHEE, WHAT A SCORCHER. 221 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,956 [CHUCKLES, SIGHS] 222 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,591 HI. WE'RE THE... 223 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,029 DUNCANS. 224 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,531 SEASON'S GREETINGS. 225 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,200 WHAT'S ALL THIS? 226 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,901 DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS. 227 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,037 IT'S JUST AN INCREDIBLE SIMULATION. 228 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,572 WE'RE GETTING READY TO TAKE A CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE. 229 00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:49,941 OH. HERE, THERE'S NOTHING 230 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,276 LIKE CHRISTMAS IN VERMONT, IN THE SPRING. 231 00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,311 HEY, WHAT A GREAT IDEA. 232 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:57,514 YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WE SHOULD HAVE OUR OWN CHRISTMAS CARD. 233 00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,650 SAY, YOU MIND IF WE, UH, BORROW YOUR BACKGROUND? 234 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,651 OF COURSE. 235 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,787 AND IF IT'S NOT ASKING TOO MUCH, 236 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,056 COULD WE MAYBE HELP YOU DECORATE THE TREE? 237 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:08,726 SURE, IF YOU DON'T MIND WORKING UP A SWEAT. 238 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,394 THANKS. 239 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,596 WE'LL UNPACK, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. 240 00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,732 IT'S ROOM 7. THANKS. 241 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,270 SEE, DICK? EVEN THEY'RE INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. 242 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,639 OR CRAZY WITH THE HEAT. 243 00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,476 [GASPS] MICHAEL! 244 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,344 ARE THOSE ALL FOR ME? 245 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:30,014 THERE'S MORE OUT IN THE CAR. [SQUEALS] 246 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,950 MICHAEL, ALL WE NEEDED WAS WRAPPED, EMPTY BOXES. 247 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,653 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BRING ACTUAL PRESENTS. 248 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,521 YES, I DID. 249 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,260 JOANNA, YOU CAN TELL IN THE PICTURE 250 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,328 IF THE BOXES ARE EMPTY. 251 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,330 DON'T WORRY. STEPHANIE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE 252 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,866 TAKING A LITTLE ADVANTAGE. 253 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,434 [LAUGHING] 254 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,070 HI. I'M LARRY. 255 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,072 WE THINK THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL. 256 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:57,842 AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER DARRYL. 257 00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,510 WELL, LET'S-- LET'S HAVE A LOOK. 258 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,446 SEE? DON'T THAT LOOK LIKE HIM RIGHT THERE? 259 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,649 YOU-- YOU MEAN THE GUY DANCING WITH THE FIRST LADY? 260 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,223 I-- I-- I DON'T THINK SO. 261 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,224 WHY NOT? 262 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,693 JUST CALL IT INSTINCT. 263 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,929 OH. 264 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,333 SORRY TO BE SUCH A DOWNER ON CHRISTMAS CARD EVE. 265 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,339 YOU GUYS WEREN'T OVER AT THE CAF�, SO I TRACKED YOU HERE. 266 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,343 I THINK I MAY HAVE A LEAD ON THE FACE. 267 00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,079 TWO OFFICERS UP IN STOWE 268 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,348 ANSWERED A DISTURBING THE PEACE CALL LAST NIGHT. 269 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,917 FROM THE DESCRIPTION, SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE OUR BOY. 270 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,319 HERE'S THE ADDRESS. 271 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,388 THANKS A BUNCH. WILL YOU GO WITH US? 272 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,824 WH-WHAT FOR? 273 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,160 WE AIN'T GOT A CAR. 274 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,262 WE COULD LEND YOU OUR CAR. 275 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,497 I'LL-- I'LL GO WITH YOU. 276 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,838 WELL, I'D BETTER GET BACK TO H.Q. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU. 277 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,581 [CLICKS TONGUE] 278 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,786 [RECORD SKIPPING] 279 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,191 WHOA. 280 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,996 THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION. 281 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,798 THIS IS, UH, THE KIND OF PLACE 282 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,234 YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA MEET AN OSMOND. 283 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,070 HEY. NEW BLOOD. 284 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:34,738 IF THIS IS DARRYL'S PLACE, 285 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,408 HE'S FALLEN IN WITH SOME REAL OFFBEATS. 286 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,244 FOOD'S OVER THERE. BAR'S STOCKED. 287 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,113 GO FOR IT. 288 00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:45,016 [RECORD STOPS SKIPPING] 289 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,850 WE'RE LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER, DARRYL. 290 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:50,121 DARRYL? OH, YOU MEAN FACE. 291 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,790 HEY, FACE! 292 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,293 WE'RE GONNA MIX ALL THE DRINKS TOGETHER AND CHUGALUG IT, 293 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,229 NO MATTER WHAT COLOR IT IS OR HOW IT SMELLS. 294 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,164 YOU GUYS WANNA JOIN US? 295 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,467 EXCUSE US. WOULD YOU FELLAS GO NOW? 296 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,636 WHY? 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T, 297 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,338 DARRYL AND I ARE GONNA MIX YOU TOGETHER, 298 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,274 NO MATTER WHAT COLOR YOU COME OUT OR HOW YOU SMELL. 299 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:13,744 OH. 300 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,180 COME ON. LET'S GO SPIT OFF THE ROOF AND TIME IT. 301 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,451 �� [ELECTRONIC] 302 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,823 �� [CONTINUES] 303 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,437 �� [STOPS] 304 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,372 DARRYL, IS THAT YOU IN THEM HIGH-HEELED SNEAKERS? 305 00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,075 BLUE SUEDE SHOES. 306 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,788 DARRYL, YOU'RE ALL FACE AND NO BRAINS. 307 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,991 I'LL STEP ON THEM BLUE SUEDE SHOES. 308 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:03,760 COME ON. COME ON, GUYS. COME ON. BREAK IT UP. 309 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,896 DARRYL, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 310 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:08,165 LOOK AT ALL THIS WANTON WASTE. 311 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:12,436 A BLOCK OF ICE THAT AIN'T COOLING A THING, 312 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:15,572 FOOD YOU'D FIND IN A SISSY'S LUNCH BOX. 313 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,409 COME HERE. 314 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,744 YOU KNOW DARN WELL CHAMPAGNE LOSES ITS FIZZ 315 00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:23,547 IN ONE OF THOSE THINGS. 316 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,816 DARRYL, YOU GOT CAVIAR IN YOUR EARS? 317 00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:29,786 I GIVE UP. DARRYL, YOU TALK TO HIM. 318 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,925 DARRYL! DARRYL! 319 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:42,199 THEM'S THE IMPLEMENTS OF SEDUCTION. 320 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:47,971 I CAN'T TALK TO HIM. 321 00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:51,275 LARRY, IF-- IF YOU DON'T TALK TO HIM... 322 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,776 WOULD YOU TRY? 323 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,645 I'M MAD ENOUGH TO STOMP BUNNIES. 324 00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,751 DARRYL, THE-- THE REASON WE'RE HERE 325 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,421 IS BECAUSE YOUR-- YOUR BROTHER REALLY WANTS YOU TO COME BACK... 326 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,922 [CRACKLING] 327 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,759 WHAT-- WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? 328 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:17,268 [CRACKLING CONTINUES] 329 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,187 DOES EVERYBODY HERE HAVE A STREAK OF DECADENCE BUT ME? 330 00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,323 [WHIRRING, BEEPING] 331 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,264 UH, DARRYL... 332 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,266 I-- I KNOW THAT ALL OF THIS [WHIRRING, BEEPING STOPS] 333 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,867 SEEMS LIKE FUN NOW, BUT-- 334 00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,304 I MEAN, IS THIS THE WAY 335 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,038 YOU-- YOU WANNA SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? 336 00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,813 IT'S BEEN FUN, FACE. CALL ME? 337 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,923 I CAN'T TALK TO HIM. 338 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,261 DARRYL... 339 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,196 DARRYL, GET YOUR STUFF AND COME WITH US, 340 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,265 AND ALL WILL BE FORGOT. 341 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,235 I DON'T CARE IF YOU THROW AWAY ALL YOUR MONEY. 342 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,403 DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR FAMILY. 343 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,006 DARRYL-- DARRYL, 344 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:32,543 REMEMBER YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE? 345 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,878 REMEMBER WHAT IT HAD TO SAY? 346 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,548 MONEY DON'T MAKE YOU WEALTHY, 347 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,983 BROTHERS DO. 348 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:43,287 OR WAS THAT BONANZA? 349 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,023 ANYWAY, IT'S TRUE. 350 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,891 ARE YOU COMING? 351 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,736 �� [ELECTRONIC] 352 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:04,508 FINE. EASE ON DOWN THE ROAD TO RUIN. 353 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:07,578 COME ON. LET'S GIT. DARRYL! NOW. 354 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:12,183 �� [CONTINUES] 355 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:26,664 [ALL] � TROLL THE ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL � 356 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:30,467 � FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA � 357 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,869 [BOTH SIGH] 358 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,975 I WISH WE'D BROUGHT WARM CLOTHES. 359 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,146 NO, YOU DON'T. 360 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,349 WHEN DO I GET TO OPEN MY PRESENTS? 361 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,452 NOT TILL WE TAKE THE PICTURE, AND WE CAN'T DO THAT TILL DICK GETS BACK. 362 00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,088 COULDN'T WE AIRBRUSH HIM IN LATER? 363 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,426 CUPCAKE, WILL THE MISTLETOE TAKE YOUR MIND OFF THE PRESENTS? 364 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,927 NO. 365 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,464 SHALL WE SING ANOTHER SONG? 366 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,899 � JINGLE BELLS � 367 00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,368 � JINGLE BELLS � 368 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,903 � JINGLE ALL THE WAY � 369 00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:09,373 � OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE � 370 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,842 � IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, HEY � 371 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,845 � JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS � 372 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,281 � JINGLE ALL THE WAY � 373 00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:20,718 � OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH � HELLO. 374 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,486 CONSTABLE, IS ANYTHING THE MATTER? 375 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,755 UH, NO. AH, IT'S JUST... � DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW � 376 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:27,591 � IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH � WELL, MY FAMILY'S OUT OF TOWN. 377 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:30,227 � O'ER THE FIELDS WE GO � 378 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,431 �� [CONTINUES] 379 00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:38,902 GETS KIND OF LONELY THIS TIME OF YEAR. 380 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,705 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME LEMONADE? NO EGGNOG? 381 00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:44,375 � JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS � SORRY. 382 00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:48,879 NO, THANKS. JUST WON'T BE CHRISTMAS WITHOUT EGGNOG. 383 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,715 � IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, HEY � 384 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,083 WELL, WE'RE BACK. 385 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,685 OH, GOOD! HE'S HERE! 386 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,086 WE COULDN'T GET HIM TO COME BACK. 387 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,321 IS DARRYL ALL RIGHT? 388 00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:00,324 WELL, HE'S FLYING HEADLONG TO PERDITION 389 00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:02,993 ON THE ROAD OF HEDONISTIC DECADENCE. 390 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,864 OTHER-- OTHER THAN THAT, HE'S-- HE'S FINE. 391 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,600 I'M SORRY, GUYS. 392 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,235 YEAH, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE REST OF OUR LIFE 393 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:14,738 A DAY LATE AND A DARRYL SHORT. 394 00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:23,213 BUT DON'T LET US HOSE DOWN YOUR HOLIDAY SPIRIT. 395 00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:24,548 JUST GO ON WITH YOUR SINGING. 396 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,785 IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR? 397 00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:31,087 HAVE YOU SANG "AULD LANG SYNE"? 398 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:33,590 NOT SINCE I GOT HERE. 399 00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:39,563 � SHOULD OLD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT � 400 00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:44,468 � AND NEVER BROUGHT TO MIND � 401 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:49,606 � SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT � 402 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:54,712 � AND DAYS OF AULD LANG SYNE � 403 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,714 � FOR AULD LANG-- � �� 404 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,949 NO. IT CAN'T BE. 405 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:00,951 DARRYL! OH, DARRYL! 406 00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,520 HE CAME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. 407 00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:06,289 DARRYL! 408 00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:08,091 I'M MISTING UP HERE. 409 00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:09,560 NO. THAT'S YOURS. 410 00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:11,795 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? 411 00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,398 ALLOW ME. HI. 412 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,467 I'M LARRY. THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL, 413 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,268 AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER DARRYL. 414 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:21,137 [CHEERING] 415 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:23,874 TIME FOR THE PICTURES. OH, OKAY! 416 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:26,877 GUYS, DO YOU WANNA JOIN US? 417 00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,379 HERE, HONEY. PUT THIS ON. 418 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,947 HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SET ME ON FIRE? 419 00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,418 OKAY, EVERYBODY GET INTO PLACE. 420 00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:35,952 I'M GONNA FOCUS THIS HERE. 421 00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,554 ALL RIGHT. 422 00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:40,290 OKAY, EVERYBODY. WATCH THE BIRDIE. ALL RIGHT. YEAH. 423 00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,426 WELL, DARRYL, 424 00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,327 YOU BLEW $5,000 IN THREE DAYS. 425 00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:46,162 I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT. 426 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:30,774 MEOW. 31026

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