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�� [THEME MUSIC]
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- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- COME IN.
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00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,823
GOOD SHOW, DICK.
A SMASH. TOTALLY PRIMO.
4
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,959
I THOUGHT SO.
5
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:02,694
LET'S NOT SCHEDULE
ANOTHER NAVAL HISTORIAN
6
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:05,830
ANYTIME SOON, SHALL WE?
7
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,732
YOU DIDN'T LIKE HIM?
THE WAY HE TOLD THOSE STORIES,
8
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,635
YOU COULD PRACTICALLY
SMELL THE SEA-SPRAY.
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00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,538
DICK, THE TROUBLE WITH HISTORY
IS IT'S YESTERDAY'S NEWS.
10
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,906
NO SUSPENSE.
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00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,175
NEXT WEEK, WE HAVE A GUY
WHO PICKS UP RADIO SIGNALS
12
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,644
WITH HIS TEETH.
13
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:20,979
NO, WE DON'T.
WE HAVE THE PRESIDENT
14
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,514
OF THE UNIVERSITY
OF VERMONT.
15
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,015
DIDN'T I MEMO YOU ON THAT?
16
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,218
MICHAEL, YOU'VE BEEN
PROMISING TO GET HIM FOR ME.
17
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,487
DICK, DICK, DICK,
HE HAS GRAY HAIR.
18
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:29,754
THIS WEEK'S GUEST
HAD GRAY HAIR.
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00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,156
WE NEVER BOOK THOSE
TWO WEEKS IN A ROW.
20
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:34,726
TV TABOO.
21
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,561
I DON'T WANT A HUMAN RADIO.
22
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,896
I WANT THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT,
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00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,398
- AND THAT'S FINAL.
- WELL, DICK,
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00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,935
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT,
WE'LL SEE.
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00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,070
OH, BY THE WAY, THERE'S SOMEONE
HERE WHO WANTS TO MEET YOU.
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NOT UNTIL WE FINISH THIS.
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SHE'S WAITING RIGHT OUTSIDE.
SHE SEEMS TO BE A FAN.
28
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:53,211
SHE THINKS
YOU'RE TOM TERRIFIC.
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UH, REALLY?
30
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,949
COME ON IN, HE'S THRILLED.
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00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,084
HELLO!
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00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:01,353
TRACY, DICK.
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00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,155
DICK, TRACY.
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TRACY, NICE TO MEET YOU.
35
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,262
OH, MR. LOUDON,
IN THE FLESH!
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00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,164
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.
37
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WELL, NEITHER CAN I.
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00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,834
I'VE WANTED TO MEET YOU
EVER SINCE I CAME HERE
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00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,570
WITH MY COLLEGE MEDIA CLASS.
40
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:22,140
AND SAW YOU INTERVIEW
THE NOBEL PRIZE LOSERS.
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00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,210
IT WAS LIKE...
YOU WERE SPEAKING TO ME.
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YOU EVER CATCH
DICK'S INTERVIEW WITH THE GUY
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WHO'S BEEN HIT
BY LIGHTNING 14 TIMES?
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00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,283
PURE BRILLIANCE.
45
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,851
BUT... I GUESS
YOU HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME.
46
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:36,854
WELL, NOT--
NOT ALL THE TIME.
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ONCE OR TWICE.
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00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:42,727
ACTUALLY, ONCE.
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00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,597
GOD, YOU'RE JUST SO
DOWN TO EARTH.
50
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,666
I MEAN, HERE YOU ARE,
THIS BIG CELEBRITY,
51
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,435
AND YOU SEE YOURSELF
AS A REGULAR PERSON.
52
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,769
WELL, YOU KNOW, I--
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00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:53,738
I GOTTA BE ME.
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00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,511
WELL, I SHOULDN'T TAKE UP
ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.
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00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,413
WELL, LISTEN, IF YOU WANT
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00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,415
TO COME BACK SOMEDAY
AND SIT IN THE BOOTH?
57
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,217
MAYBE BRING ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS
FROM SCHOOL?
58
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,385
OH, I'D LOVE TO.
59
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,753
BUT I WOULDN'T
BRING ANYBODY.
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00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,256
I MEAN, ALL OF THE KIDS
AT SCHOOL ARE SO...
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00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:15,159
SO, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, IMMATURE.
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00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:16,561
WELL THEN, THEN YOU COME.
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00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,664
GREAT. MR. LOUDON?
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00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,899
UM, DICK.
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00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:25,069
DICK.
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WOULD YOU PERMIT ME
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TO START A DICK LOUDON
FAN CLUB?
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00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,710
FOR ME?
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00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,845
WHAT A BOON FOR THE SHOW.
I CAN SEE IT ALL.
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00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,114
BUMPER STICKERS, BALLOONS,
T-SHIRTS, LUNCH PAIL.
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00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,883
OH, NO. IT WOULD
BE DIGNIFIED.
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EXACTLY.
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LIKE-- LIKE IF
ALISTAIR COOKE HAD A FAN CLUB.
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00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,724
THAT'S MORE THE WAY
I SEE IT.
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00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,226
ME TOO. E PLURIBUS UNUM.
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00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,831
THEN IT'S OKAY, DICK?
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00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:54,932
I GUESS-- I GUESS SO.
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00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:57,435
GREAT!
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00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,378
- HI, GEORGE.
- JOANNA, UH...
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00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,713
WE'RE HAVING OUR MIXED DOUBLES
BOWLING TOURNAMENT,
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00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:12,450
AND I WAS WONDERING,
WOULD YOU BE MY PARTNER?
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00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,286
IF IT'S OKAY WITH DICK.
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00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,888
AND YOU.
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00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,591
GEE, I HAVEN'T BOWLED IN
A LONG TIME. THAT MIGHT BE FUN.
85
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,993
OH, BOY.
IT'S NEXT FRIDAY AT 7:00.
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00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,029
FRIDAY. HMM. I'VE GOT A HOSPITAL
AUXILIARY MEETING AT 6:00,
87
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,631
BUT I COULD BE THERE BY 7:30.
88
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:30,468
OH, NO. ANYONE WHO
ISN'T LACED UP BY 7:00
IS DISQUALIFIED.
89
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,537
OH. I'M SURE
YOU KNOW SOMEONE ELSE
90
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,772
WHO'D LIKE TO GO WITH YOU.
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00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,640
WELL, DUTCH
WILL WEAR A DRESS,
92
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:39,577
BUT HE'S AWFUL HAIRY.
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00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,245
WELL, HERE I AM.
94
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,315
WHERE ARE THOSE
STUPID PEAS I HAVE TO SHELL?
95
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:45,784
OVER THERE.
96
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:52,390
STEPHANIE, YOU'RE A WOMAN.
97
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:53,891
UH-HUH.
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00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,361
WOULD YOU BE MY PARTNER
AT A MIXED DOUBLES
99
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,962
BOWLING TOURNAMENT?
100
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,564
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
101
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,934
ME? WEAR THOSE SHOES?
102
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,469
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SHOES?
103
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,806
THEY'VE HAD OTHER PEOPLE'S
FEET INSIDE THEM.
104
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,476
FEET BELONGING TO PEOPLE
WITH NAMES LIKE DODIE AND GERT.
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00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,547
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW I'D LOOK
106
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,515
IN ONE OF THOSE
SHINY SHIRTS?
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00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,751
JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE
IN THE ALLEY?
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00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:23,321
OH, GOD, I'D DIE.
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00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,423
WELL, I'M SORRY I ASKED.
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00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,528
STEPHANIE, THAT WAS
REALLY INSENSITIVE.
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00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,364
YOU JUST HURT
GEORGE'S FEELINGS.
112
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,366
- I DID?
- MM-HMM.
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00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,934
I WAS JUST EXPLAINING
HOW I FELT ABOUT BOWLING.
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00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,637
- AND BOWLERS.
- YEAH.
115
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:42,907
GEORGE IS A BOWLER.
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OH.
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YOU THINK HE MADE
THAT CONNECTION, TOO?
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00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,048
I THINK HE DID.
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00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,517
OH.
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00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,686
OH, I FEEL HORRIBLE NOW.
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00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,120
WELL, THANKS A LOT, JOANNE.
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00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,321
I NEVER WOULD'VE
NOTICED THAT
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IF YOU HADN'T
POINTED IT OUT TO ME.
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00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:05,530
HI, HONEY.
125
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,831
IS THAT ALL
YOU BROUGHT BACK?
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00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,267
YOU WENT TO THE MARKET
WITH A LIST A MILE LONG.
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00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,003
HELLO!
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SHE, UH, SHE WOULDN'T
LET ME CARRY THEM.
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00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,074
WOW!
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00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:20,412
DICK LOUDON'S KITCHEN!
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00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:24,348
YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS REMINDS ME OF?
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00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:28,019
ALL HAPPY KITCHENS
ARE ALIKE!
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00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,687
EACH UNHAPPY KITCHEN
134
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:33,057
IS UNHAPPY IN ITS OWN WAY.
135
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,427
YOU'VE BEEN
READING MY BOOKS.
136
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,995
I LOVE
THE TOLSTOY REFERENCE.
137
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:40,064
OH, YOU PICKED UP ON THAT.
138
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:43,501
NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE DO
AND LAY SLATE LINOLEUM.
139
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,372
DICK?
140
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,107
WHO IS THIS?
141
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,476
OH, I'M-- I'M SORRY, HONEY.
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00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,177
TRACY, THIS IS
MY WIFE, JOANNA,
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00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:55,346
AND THIS IS OUR MAID,
STEPHANIE.
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00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,215
- HELLO.
- HI.
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00:06:58,217 --> 00:06:59,951
JOANNA, YOU MUST BE
146
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,320
A VERY SPECIAL PERSON.
147
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,455
WHY IS THAT?
148
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,523
BECAUSE YOU'RE
MARRIED TO ME.
149
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:10,394
UH, STEPHANIE, THERE ARE
MORE GROCERIES IN THE CAR.
150
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:13,097
OH, COULD I GET THEM?
151
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,365
WELL, OKAY.
152
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,133
IF IT MEANS
THAT MUCH TO YOU.
153
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,469
STEPHANIE.
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00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:20,037
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
155
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,741
DICK, WHO IS THIS GIRL?
156
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,443
OH, SHE'S, UM--
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00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,144
SHE'S HEADING UP
MY FAN CLUB.
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00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:30,548
A FAN CLUB? YOU'RE KIDDING.
159
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,750
WELL, I MEAN, I AM
A TELEVISION PERSONALITY.
160
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,385
IT'S ONLY NATURAL
THAT I WOULD ATTRACT
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00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,454
A-- A CERTAIN NUMBER
OF FANS.
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00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:40,057
THAT NUMBER SEEMS TO BE ONE.
163
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,994
BUT I THINK SHE'S REALLY
JUST A COLLEGE KID WITH A CRUSH.
164
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,897
HONEY, I TOLD YOU. SHE'S ONLY
INTERESTED IN MY WORK.
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00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,299
WELL, I'M NOT SURE.
I THINK PAJAMAS.
166
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,569
BUT YOU'D HAVE TO ASK HIM.
167
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,584
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD
8 X 10 GLOSSIES OF YOURSELF.
168
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:10,522
YEAH, TRACY WANTED THEM
FOR THE MEMBERSHIP DRIVE.
169
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,990
MICHAEL GAVE THEM TO HER.
170
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,860
WHAT'RE YOU WRITING?
171
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,730
"LOVE AND HUG-A-ROONIES,
DICK LOUDON."
172
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,567
MICHAEL WROTE THAT ONE
AS A SAMPLE.
173
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:25,503
I DECIDED TO GO
IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.
174
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:30,842
"SEE YOU SUNDAYS AT 4:00.
DICK LOUDON."
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00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,111
OH.
176
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:37,281
MAYBE I'D BETTER
TONE THAT ONE DOWN.
177
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,717
AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE
OF DICK LOUDON.
178
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,921
I COULD DIE.
I COULD JUST DIE.
179
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,288
OOH!
180
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:55,800
OH, GEE, DICK, COULD I HAVE
A PICTURE OF YOU?
181
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,769
SURE, GEORGE.
182
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,704
GOT ANY WALLET-SIZE?
183
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,009
NO, NO, NO I DON'T.
184
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:07,045
OH. OKAY.
185
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,150
THANKS.
186
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,891
OH, THERE YOU ARE, GEORGE.
187
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,726
I WAS JUST LEAVING.
188
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,260
GEORGE.
189
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:26,030
I THINK I HURT
YOUR FEELINGS YESTERDAY.
190
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,966
- YEAH, YOU DID.
- WELL,
191
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,401
THAT MADE ME FEEL
JUST TERRIBLE.
192
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,504
I SPENT ALL NIGHT GOING
OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN MY HEAD,
193
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,607
REHEARSING WHAT
I WAS GOING TO SAY.
194
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:38,109
SO HERE GOES.
195
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,777
I'M SORRY. IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP,
196
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:42,513
JUST LET ME KNOW, OKAY.
197
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,549
YOU COULD
GO BOWLING WITH ME.
198
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,687
GEORGE,
WHEN I REHEARSED THIS,
199
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:53,591
YOU ALWAYS SAID,
"AH, FORGET IT."
200
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,560
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHY I'D SAY THAT.
201
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,162
I STILL NEED
A BOWLING PARTNER.
202
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,165
COULDN'T I JUST
WAX YOUR TOOLS OR SOMETHING?
203
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,002
AH, FORGET IT.
204
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,137
OKAY! YOU WIN.
205
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,806
BUT THIS COUNTS FOR THE NEXT
FIVE TIMES I HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
206
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,508
YOU'LL GO BOWLING WITH ME?
207
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,744
KEEP IT DOWN!
SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU.
208
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,045
RIGHT.
209
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,546
AND, GEORGE, ONE MORE THING.
210
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,949
WHEN WE GET THERE,
CALL ME MARIA.
211
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,421
- OH, HI, DICK.
- HELLO, TRACY.
212
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,290
I'VE GOT ALL KINDS OF STUFF
FOR THE CLUB.
213
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,293
MORE PHOTOS, APPLICATIONS,
AND MEMBERSHIP CARDS.
214
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,063
SO I SEE.
A WHOLE SUITCASE FULL.
215
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,132
NO. THE CLUB STUFF'S
OUT IN THE CAR.
216
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,333
THESE ARE MY CLOTHES.
I'M CHECKING IN.
217
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,872
HEY.
218
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:52,616
GOOD MORNING!
219
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,552
WHAT'S-- WHAT'S ALL THIS?
220
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:58,122
ORANGE JUICE.
BLUEBERRY WAFFLES.
221
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,624
LINK SAUSAGE.
222
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:03,761
CHEESE OMELETTE.
223
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,530
THAT'S-- THAT'S AMAZING.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY MOTHER
224
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:08,465
USED TO MAKE FOR BREAKFAST
ON MY BIRTHDAY.
225
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,868
I KNOW. BY THE WAY,
SHE SAYS HI.
226
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:15,940
OH, AND, UH,
HERE'S SOMETHING
227
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:19,310
TO ENJOY WITH YOUR MEAL.
228
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:23,314
THE OFFICIAL
DICK LOUDON NEWSLETTER.
229
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,649
"THE LOUDON CLEAR."
230
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:30,487
- TOO CUTE?
- I'LL FIELD THIS ONE, HONEY.
231
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,690
IT'S-- IT'S...
232
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,958
IT'S FINE.
233
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,061
OH, GOOD. I'VE BEEN
PASSING THEM OUT.
234
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,798
OH, I FORGOT
THE ENGLISH MUFFIN.
235
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,900
"WHAT DICK LOUDON
HAS TO TEACH US."
236
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,802
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
237
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:48,072
I'M SORRY, HONEY,
I WAS READING...
238
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,573
"MARSHALL McLUHAN
VS. LOUDON.
239
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:53,510
HOW THEY STACK UP."
240
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:55,046
IT'S A GOOD THING
HE'S NOT ALIVE.
241
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,315
ACCORDING TO THIS,
I MAKE HIM LOOK PRETTY SILLY.
242
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,818
DICK, DON'T YOU THINK
THIS HAS GONE A LITTLE TOO FAR?
243
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,788
HONEY, I REALLY
DON'T SEE ANY HARM IN IT.
244
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,522
"JOANNA LOUDON.
245
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:09,493
LIVING IN THE SHADOW."
246
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,962
WHO IS THIS DICK LOUDON?
247
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,463
THE INNKEEPER.
248
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,233
WHAT AN EGOMANIAC.
249
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,504
DICK, WHAT'S YOUR
FAVORITE PART OF A HORSE?
250
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:27,478
I-- I REALLY HAVEN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT IT THAT MUCH. WHY?
251
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,380
IT'S THIS WEEK'S
TRIVIA QUESTION.
252
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,149
WELL THEN, IT--
253
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,985
IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT FOR ME
TO TELL YOU THE ANSWER.
254
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:37,155
OR POSSIBLE.
255
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:40,158
STEPHANIE, WHY DID TRACY
MAKE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?
256
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,525
SHE WANTED TO.
257
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,527
WE PAY YOU
TO MAKE BREAKFAST.
258
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,463
SO DID SHE.
259
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,832
HI, DICK. JOANNA.
260
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,768
CUPCAKE.
261
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,637
HERE'S SOME BACKGROUND INFO
ON THIS SUNDAY'S GUEST.
262
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,706
I DON'T NEED IT. I KNOW
EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW
263
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,375
ABOUT THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT.
264
00:12:58,377 --> 00:13:01,145
CROSSED WIRES, DICK.
265
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,981
WHO'S IN HERE? RADIO-TEETH?
266
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,316
MICHAEL, I TOLD YOU--
267
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,418
OH, ASIDE. TO STEPH.
268
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,585
GOOD NEWS FOR FRIDAY NIGHT.
269
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,054
THAT FELLINI FESTIVAL
AT THE REGENT?
270
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,589
IT'S FINALLY OVER.
271
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,659
WANNA SEE THE BOOGENS?
272
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:17,028
THIS FRIDAY NIGHT?
273
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,263
- WHY? CAN'T YOU GO?
- NO, I CAN'T.
274
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,764
BUT STEPH!
275
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:23,600
THE BOOGENS!
276
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:27,271
MICHAEL, DON'T TORTURE ME.
I JUST CAN'T GO.
277
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,207
OH, STEPHANIE. GUESS WHAT?
278
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,042
I GOT YOU YOUR VERY OWN--
279
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,145
CANTALOUPE.
280
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,180
MY FAVORITE MELON!
281
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,648
CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT.
282
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,651
WHAT A FIND.
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
283
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,519
MUST BE SOME
MISUNDERSTANDING.
284
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,856
THAT'S NOT A CANTALOUPE.
IT'S HER VERY OWN--
285
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,493
WELL, GOT A SCOOP.
286
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,462
WAIT. WE HAVEN'T
SETTLED THIS.
287
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,064
WE HAD TO BOOK
THE HUMAN RADIO, DICK.
288
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,565
HE'S GOT A DENTIST
APPOINTMENT NEXT WEEK,
289
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,068
AND THE POOR GUY MAY RINSE
AND SPIT HIS CAREER AWAY.
290
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,838
HERE ARE YOUR
ENGLISH MUFFINS.
291
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,807
WITH ONE PAT OF BUTTER
IN THE CENTER OF EACH
292
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:06,944
SO THEY LOOK LIKE
LITTLE EYES STARING UP AT YOU.
293
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,049
SHE HAS BEEN
TALKING TO MY MOTHER.
294
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,918
DICK, YOU HAVE
TO TALK TO HER.
295
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,187
JOANNA, IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
SHE TOLD ME THAT,
296
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,689
ALL HER LIFE, SHE HAS
NEVER SEEN ANYTHING TRUE.
297
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,393
I MEAN, I JUST CAN'T
ASK HER TO STOP NOW.
298
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,829
BESIDES, THIS IS
A HELL OF A BREAKFAST.
299
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,002
[WHISPERING]
DICK, TALK TO HER.
300
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,736
I CAN'T.
301
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,409
THERE.
302
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,787
MAYBE...
303
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,956
MAYBE I WILL
HAVE A WORD WITH HER.
304
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,828
TRACY? TRACY?
305
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,297
I-- I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
306
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,632
NOW?
307
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,235
WELL, YOU KNOW,
FINISH WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
308
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,673
LET'S-- LET'S SIT DOWN.
309
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,075
YOU KNOW, TRACY,
310
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,710
YOU'RE PROBABLY
THE BEST FAN I'VE EVER HAD,
311
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:15,379
- BUT...
- BUT?
312
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:19,016
WELL, IT'S NOT SO MUCH
A BUT AS AN ALBEIT.
313
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:21,986
BUT I...
314
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,355
I THINK IT WOULD
BE BETTER IF YOU WORSHIPED
315
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,325
SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE.
316
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,993
AND GIVE UP THE CLUB?
317
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,394
Y-- YOU DON'T HAVE THE CLUB.
318
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,296
WHAT YOU HAVE IS A--
319
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:34,231
IS A CRUSH.
320
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:37,034
CRUSH?
321
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,635
WELL, DO CRUSHES HAVE
322
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:41,272
MEMBERSHIP MEETINGS?
323
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,140
WHAT-- WHAT
MEMBERSHIP MEETING?
324
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:45,042
WE'VE GOT ONE THIS WEEK.
325
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,677
ON CAMPUS.
326
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,979
WHEN?
327
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:51,615
FRIDAY! YOU'RE GONNA SEE
SOME FANS THERE, MISTER.
328
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,885
REALLY?
329
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,121
TONS!
330
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,157
TRACY, YOU AND I BOTH--
331
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,260
TONS?
332
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:04,728
WELL, A LOT!
333
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,598
WE WERE HOPING
YOU'D BE THE SPEAKER.
334
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,334
OH, I--
I CAN'T DISAPPOINT...
335
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,936
CLOSE TO A... TON OF PEOPLE.
336
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,314
ALL RIGHT. GUESS THIS IS IT.
337
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,517
HONEY, I JUST HOPE YOU AREN'T
GONNA BE TOO DISAPPOINTED.
338
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,619
IN OTHER WORDS, YOU'RE ASSUMING
THAT THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
339
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,454
- ANYONE IN THERE.
- WELL--
340
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:31,889
YOU KNOW, HONEY,
IT'S NOT INCONCEIVABLE
341
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,091
THAT THERE'S GONNA
BE PEOPLE IN THERE. TONS.
342
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:35,659
TONS?
343
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,028
WELL, A LOT.
344
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,529
AND THERE WOULDN'T BE
ANYTHING STRANGE ABOUT IT.
345
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:41,899
I'M-- I'M
A NOT-UNFAMOUS MAN.
346
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:44,235
- OKAY?
- OKAY.
347
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,271
I JUST HOPE YOU WON'T BE
TOO DISAPPOINTED.
348
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,780
I HAVE TO ADMIT,
349
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,215
I AM A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED,
350
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,318
BUT I THINK
I CAN LIVE WITH IT.
351
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,487
OH, DICK, GOOD CHEESE.
NICE TURNOUT.
352
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,089
THIS-- THIS IS AMAZING.
353
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,525
YEAH, THEY'VE GOT
JARLSBERG, GORGONZOLA.
354
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,926
AN INCREDIBLE BRIE.
355
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,328
THIS SURE BEATS THE BOOGENS.
356
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:14,131
DICK! WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
357
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,767
WELL, DO YOU
HAVE FANS OR WHAT?
358
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:20,137
YOU-- YOU WANT TO FIELD
THAT ONE, JOANNA?
359
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:23,740
DICK, JOANNA, THIS IS ROB.
360
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:25,443
HE HELPED ME SET THIS UP.
361
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,811
HEY.
362
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,281
SAME HERE.
363
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,216
SO, DICK, ARE YOU
READY TO SPEAK?
364
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,219
EVERYONE'S DYING TO HEAR
WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
365
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,755
- LET'S DO IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
366
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:41,225
YOU PREPARED A SPEECH?
367
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,360
WELL, I-- I WAS
GUARDEDLY OPTIMISTIC.
368
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,397
BUT APPARENTLY
WITH GOOD REASON.
369
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,668
COULD I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?
370
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,904
IS EVERYBODY
HAVING A GOOD TIME?
371
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,639
[ALL CHEER]
372
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:58,275
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
DICK LOUDON,
373
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:00,611
THE MAN WHO MADE
ALL THIS POSSIBLE.
374
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,713
[ALL CHEER, APPLAUD]
375
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,017
GOOD-- GOOD EVENING,
ALL OF YOU.
376
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,352
AND...
377
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,654
THANK-- THANK YOU
FOR THAT ROUSING--
378
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,922
THAT ROUSING WELCOME.
379
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,758
IT'S NICE TO FINALLY--
380
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,827
[ALL MURMUR]
381
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,663
IT'S NICE TO FINALLY
COME FACE TO FACE
382
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,765
WITH ALL-- WITH ALL OF MY...
383
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,637
ALL OF MY FANS.
384
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,607
I'D-- I'D LIKE
TO SHARE WITH YOU
385
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:33,177
SOME-- SOME
OF THE EXPERIENCES--
386
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:36,013
EX-- EXCUSE ME, COULD I--
387
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:39,617
COULD I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
388
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,252
HEY!
389
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,889
I-- I'D JUST--
390
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,159
I'D JUST LIKE TO KNOW,
391
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,762
HOW MANY OF YOU
HAVE SEEN MY TV SHOW?
392
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,635
HOW-- HOW MANY
HAVE READ MY BOOKS?
393
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,742
HOW-- HOW MANY OF YOU
394
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,811
ARE HERE FOR THE...
395
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,380
FREE FOOD AND BEER?
396
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,916
[ALL CHEER]
397
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,451
THANK YOU.
398
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:16,387
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT--
399
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:19,856
THAT CONCLUDES MY REMARKS.
400
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:21,058
MEETING ADJOURNED.
401
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,093
I UNDERSTAND REFRESHMENTS
402
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,763
ARE AVAILABLE.
403
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:29,366
TRACY, COULD I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE?
404
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:35,206
DICK, I'M SORRY.
FORGIVE ME?
405
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,040
I JUST THOUGHT IF I DIDN'T HAVE
SOME KIND OF MEETING,
406
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,742
YOU'D FEEL REALLY LET DOWN.
407
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,278
NO, THANK YOU
FOR SPARING ME THAT.
408
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:46,217
YOU-- YOU COULDN'T
SIGN UP ONE MEMBER?
409
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,520
IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T TRY.
410
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,055
WELL, I-- I GUESS
COLLEGE PEOPLE
411
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,592
JUST DON'T WATCH MY SHOW.
412
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,927
NOT JUST COLLEGE PEOPLE.
413
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,895
EVERYBODY.
414
00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:00,497
WHITE COLLAR, BLUE COLLAR.
415
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,132
OLD, YOUNG, SHUT-IN'S--
416
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,968
OKAY. OKAY.
417
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,070
BUT, YOU KNOW, DICK,
418
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:10,073
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID THE OTHER DAY.
419
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:12,976
AND I REALIZED
THAT YOU WERE RIGHT.
420
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,511
THE ONLY REASON
I DID ALL THIS
421
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:17,781
WAS TO BE AROUND YOU.
422
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,650
I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUB.
423
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:23,153
I HAD A CRUSH.
424
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,321
TRACY, YOU'RE A--
425
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,422
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL GIRL.
426
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,458
AND I THINK IT'S BEST
427
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,792
THAT YOU JUST, YOU KNOW,
428
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,428
GET ME OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
429
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,765
DICK, I SAID I HAD A CRUSH.
430
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,268
I'VE OUTGROWN IT NOW.
431
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:38,902
YOU-- YOU HAVE.
432
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,937
I WAS OUT TRYING
TO LINE UP FANS,
433
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:43,507
AND I STARTED MEETING
MORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL.
434
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,609
THEY'RE NOT AS IMMATURE
AS I THOUGHT.
435
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:48,111
FOOD'S GONE. LET'S GO.
436
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,113
DICK, YOU MET ROB.
437
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,916
HEY.
438
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,718
YEAH, WE-- WE SPOKE EARLIER.
439
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:59,757
I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU, DICK.
440
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,295
WELL. BETTER TAKE OFF.
441
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:07,164
WE'RE GOING OUT TO THROW
WATER BALLOONS AND MOON COPS.
442
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,800
HEY!
443
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,305
DICK, I THOUGHT
YOU HANDLED YOURSELF
444
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,039
PRETTY WELL
OUT THERE TONIGHT,
445
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,542
AND YOU WERE UP AGAINST
SOME DAMN FINE CHEESE.
446
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:21,878
GO HOME, MICHAEL.
447
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,114
ROGER.
448
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,052
- READY TO LEAVE?
- YEAH.
449
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,254
- YOU ALL RIGHT?
- I'M-- I'M FINE.
450
00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:32,690
- YOU SURE?
- I'M SURE.
451
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,124
I JUST HOPE YOU AREN'T
TOO DISAPPOINTED--
452
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,494
I'M DISAPPOINTED. OKAY?
VERY DISAPPOINTED.
453
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:40,464
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
454
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,467
WOULD A HUG-A-ROONIE HELP?
455
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,532
DICK?
456
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,501
OH, HI, STEPHANIE.
HOW WAS BOWLING?
457
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:22,773
HOW DO YOU THINK?
458
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:26,443
I GUESS WE BOTH
HAD A LOUSY NIGHT.
459
00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:29,380
YOU GO FIRST.
460
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,281
THE MEETING WAS A DISASTER.
461
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,083
I-- I DON'T HAVE ANY FANS.
462
00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:36,987
IS THAT ALL?
463
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:39,656
YOU WON'T BELIEVE
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.
464
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:41,024
WHAT?
465
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,995
I FOUND OUT
466
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:47,398
I LIKE BOWLING.
467
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:56,440
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