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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:06,138
�� [THEME PLAYING]
2
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,426
HERE ARE YOUR EGGS.
3
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,361
THEY MAY BE COLD.
I WAS ON THE PHONE.
4
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,133
[LAUGHS]
5
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,705
UH, FUNNY EGGS, GEORGE?
6
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,907
JUST THINKING ABOUT
MY CRAZY FRIEND DUTCH.
7
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,244
- HE DID IT TO ME AGAIN.
- WHAT DID HE DO THIS TIME?
8
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,614
WE WERE HAVING DINNER
LAST NIGHT IN THIS
REAL FANCY RESTAURANT.
9
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:26,418
WELL, I WENT OVER TO PUT
MONEY IN THE JUKE BOX--
10
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,653
[CHUCKLING]
11
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,189
WHILE I WAS GONE,
DUTCH POURED MILK
12
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,725
ALL OVER MY DINNER!
[LAUGHS]
13
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,594
THAT STORY,
THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE!
14
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,363
WELL, THANK GOODNESS
YOU CAN'T RUIN STEAK.
15
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:44,102
GEORGE, HE'S ALWAYS PULLING
THAT SORT OF THING ON YOU.
16
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,403
DON'T YOU EVER WANT
TO GET BACK AT HIM?
17
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,472
DICK, REVENGE IS CHILDISH.
18
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,408
HONEY, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE
TO FIGHT MILK WITH MILK.
19
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,111
- HERE YOU GO.
20
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,113
MISS?
21
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,381
OH, RIGHT.
YOU WANT A JUICE.
22
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,150
AND A BREAKFAST.
23
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,919
ONE THING AT A TIME.
24
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:04,422
WONDER IF I COULD
PULL A TRICK ON DUTCH.
25
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,658
NAW, I COULD NEVER
FOOL HIM.
26
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,826
I DON'T THINK
I COULD FOOL ANYBODY.
27
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,462
- WELL, SURE
YOU COULD, GEORGE.
- DICK!
28
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,697
WELL, YOU OUGHT TO TRY.
YOU MIGHT SURPRISE YOURSELF.
29
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,199
HEY, GEORGE,
CAN I HAVE THE SALT?
30
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,201
SURE.
31
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,502
THANK YOU.
32
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:21,005
[LAUGHS]
33
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,276
GOT YA!
34
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,346
GEORGE, YOU RUINED
MY BREAKFAST.
35
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:32,150
YOU SAID I COULD DO IT,
AND I DID. THANKS, DICK.
36
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,618
YOU'VE GIVEN ME HOPE!
37
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,091
PEPPER?
38
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,196
HI, ALL.
39
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,731
[STEPHANIE EXHALES]
40
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,104
- HI.
- GOT A CUP OF DECAF
FOR A HUNGRY SOLDIER?
41
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,209
OH.
42
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,711
DICK, HERE'S THAT MATERIAL
ON SUNDAY'S GUEST.
43
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,647
OH, THANK YOU.
44
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,048
HERE YOU ARE.
45
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:09,287
OH, AND UH, COULD YOU
PUT SUGAR IN IT?
46
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,356
[CHUCKLES]
47
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,227
MICHAEL, WOULD YOU
CARE FOR SOME BREAKFAST?
48
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,728
LOVE TO,
BUT I CAN'T STAY.
49
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,698
I'M INTERVIEWING
RECEPTIONISTS.
50
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,100
INTERVIEWING
RECEPTIONISTS?
51
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:25,136
- FOR WHAT?
- FOR RECEPTIONISTS.
52
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,038
WE NEED ONE
AT THE STATION.
53
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,506
WELL, I'M OFF.
54
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,308
WHAT DOES
YOUR RECEPTIONIST DO?
55
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,310
OH, BASICALLY,
SHE ANSWERS THE PHONES
56
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,845
AND PUTS ON A PRETTY FACE
FOR THE PUBLIC.
57
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,380
MISS, COULD I HAVE
SOME MORE COFFEE?
58
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,549
MICHAEL,
I WANT THAT JOB.
59
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,050
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR JOB HERE?
60
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,586
YEAH!
61
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,121
THIS JOB
SOUNDS BETTER.
62
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,156
WELL, NO OFFENSE, DICK.
63
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,559
BUT IF I WAS A RECEPTIONIST,
I'D EARN MORE MONEY.
64
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,628
I'D GET TO WEAR NICE CLOTHES
WHEN I WORK.
65
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,529
I'D BE AROUND YOU
ALL THE TIME.
66
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,964
AND I WOULDN'T HAVE
TO STICK MY HANDS
67
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:56,334
IN ANYTHING
PORCELAIN.
68
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,170
- WHAT DO YOU SAY?
- WELL, IT'S-IT'S FINE WITH ME,
BUT WHAT ABOUT...
69
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,039
OH, DICK AND JOANNA...
70
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,409
YOU GUYS ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR EVERY GOOD THING
71
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,744
THAT'S EVER
HAPPENED TO ME.
72
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,280
YOU GAVE ME A HOME
WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE ONE.
73
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,814
A JOB WHEN
NO ONE ELSE WOULD.
74
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,683
AND YOU EVEN INTRODUCED ME
TO MICHAEL.
75
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,285
[SIGHS]
I JUST WISH
THERE WAS SOMETHING
76
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,587
I COULD DO TO SHOW YOU
HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE IT,
77
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,555
BUT THERE ISN'T,
SO I QUIT, OKAY?
78
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:26,164
OH, SENTIMENT LIKE THAT
IS THANKS ENOUGH.
79
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,133
WELL, THEN, LET'S DO IT.
AND YOU CAN START
80
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,735
FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING.
81
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,203
MISS VANDERKELLEN.
82
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,739
SEE YOU THEN,
MR. HARRIS.
83
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,708
[BOTH LAUGH]
84
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,580
[NEWS PLAYING ON TELEVISION]
85
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,783
OH, MY GOD!
86
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,919
MY VERY OWN NAME!
87
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,723
THIS CALLS
FOR A KISS.
88
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,826
[BOTH LAUGH]
89
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,494
OH, A T.V.!
90
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,364
- OH, IT'S THE NEWS.
- I HATE IT TOO, STEPH.
91
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:02,967
JUST A BUNCH
OF CAPTAIN BRING-DOWNS.
92
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,437
- WELL, WHAT ELSE IS ON?
- WHOA, STEPH,
DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL.
93
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,272
THIS IS CHANNEL EIGHT,
SO THIS MUST ALWAYS
94
00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:09,507
BE CHANNEL EIGHT.
95
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,943
WELL, CAN YOU TELL THEM
TO STOP DOING THE NEWS?
96
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,713
I CAN ASK.
97
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,982
OH, NOW, THIS IS, SORT OF,
YOUR COMMAND MODULE.
98
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,185
BASICALLY, THE JOB IS MEETING
AND GREETING THE PUBLIC.
99
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,755
WHEN PEOPLE COME IN,
FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE,
100
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,223
SEND THEM WHERE
THEY'RE GOING,
101
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,091
AND THEN, GIVE THEM
ONE OF THOSE...
102
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:30,462
PATENTED
STEPHANIE SMILES.
103
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,365
WELL, AS THEY SAY
IN SHOW BUSINESS,
104
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,901
"LET'S START WORK."
105
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,186
[MAN ON TELEVISION]
AND NOW, THE WPIV EDITORIAL.
106
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,989
HERE'S NEWS DIRECTOR,
PHILLIP JENKINS.
107
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,592
[MUTES T.V.]
108
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:01,893
[SIGHS]
109
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,672
HI!
110
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,174
WELCOME TO
CHANNEL EIGHT.
111
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,676
HI!
112
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:22,380
I'M STEVE. I-I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE ON YOUR NEWS PROGRAM,
113
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,949
AND I'M LATE.
WHERE DO I GO?
114
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,518
OH.
115
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,352
THAT'S EASY.
IT'S DOWN THE HALL
116
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:30,555
AND TO THE LEFT.
117
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,390
THANKS, MISS.
118
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,036
MICHAEL, CALL FOR YOU
ON LINE ONE.
119
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,004
YOU'RE WELCOME.
120
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:49,173
HI, IT'S ME.
121
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,344
YEAH, I AM A SCAMP.
COULD YOU COME OUT HERE
122
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,779
FOR A MINUTE,
PLEASE?
123
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:56,648
VERY IMPORTANT.
124
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,887
WHAT--
WHAT IS IT, STEPH?
125
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,722
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR
MIDMORNING KISS.
126
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,892
OH, STEPH, YOU TURNED--
TURNED THE VOLUME DOWN.
127
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:11,563
[ON T.V.]
LET THE VOICE OF STEVE
BE HEARD!
128
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,064
OH, NO!
129
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,700
MICHAEL!
130
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,702
WHAT ABOUT MY KISS?
131
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,705
[STEVE]
OUR SOCIETY HAS
FALLEN INTO CRISIS!
132
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:24,008
MOTHER'S DAY SHOULDN'T
COME JUST ONCE A YEAR!
133
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,879
IT SHOULD COME TWICE!
134
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,448
LET GO OF ME!
135
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,983
[MUTES T.V.]
136
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:37,589
HI, DICK.
WELCOME TO CHANNEL EIGHT.
137
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,991
- HI. HI, STEPHANIE.
- HOW AM I DOING?
138
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,360
I-I JUST GOT HERE.
139
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:45,597
I KNOW.
140
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,965
WHAT IS-- WHAT DO
THEY HAVE ON?
141
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,933
TAG TEAM
WRESTLING?
142
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,502
[TURNS VOLUME UP]
143
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:53,437
[STEVE]
LET GO OF MY FOOT!
144
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,439
[MICHAEL]
NOT UNTIL YOU LET GO
OF MY HAIR!
145
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,074
UH, THAT'S MICHAEL.
146
00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:58,610
AND STEVE.
147
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,045
NOT STEVE!
148
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:04,215
[MAN ON T.V.]
BACK TO THE
WPIV EDITORIAL.
149
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,950
CHANNEL EIGHT
WELCOMES...
150
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,524
[EXHALES]
151
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,894
STEPH...
152
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,328
WHAT?
153
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,263
NOW, DON'T BE DEFENSIVE.
154
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:22,233
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST LET
EVERY CRAZY OFF THE STREET
155
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,568
IN-- INTO THE STUDIO.
156
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,671
WELL, PART OF YOUR JOB
IS TO...SCREEN PEOPLE.
157
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,040
NORMAL PEOPLE,
LIKE ME AND DICK,
158
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,642
YOU LET IN.
159
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,911
VERY CRAZY PEOPLE...
160
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,345
LIKE STEVE,
YOU...
161
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,347
YOU CALL
THE POLICE.
162
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,950
- OKAY?
- ARE YOU UNHAPPY
WITH ME?
163
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,218
NO, OTHERWISE
YOU'RE DOING TERRIF'.
164
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:44,188
- DICK?
- RIGHT!
165
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,291
"WELCOME TO CHANNEL EIGHT"
WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY.
166
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,101
[CHUCKLES]
167
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,805
HI, JOAN-- ANY LUCK
FINDING THE NEW MAID?
168
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,841
NO, THE AD RAN IN THE PAPER
THIS MORNING, BUT NOTHING YET.
169
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,409
- WELL...
- WHAT'S ALL THIS?
170
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:07,779
I FINALLY FIGURED
A WAY TO GET DUTCH.
171
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,447
WE'RE GOING BOWLING
THIS AFTERNOON.
172
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,649
NOW, PICTURE THIS.
FIRST CHANCE I GET,
173
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,451
REAL CASUAL-LIKE,
I'LL SAY,
174
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,821
"DUTCH, A PIECE OF GUM?"
175
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,791
"SURE, I'LL HAVE SOME GUM."
176
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,159
THAT WAS DUTCH TALKING.
DID YOU GET THAT?
177
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:23,628
[WHIMPERS]
178
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:26,965
IS THAT HOT!
IT'S PEPPER GUM.
179
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,601
THEN, WHEN HE LOOKS AROUND
FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK,
180
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,769
I'LL GIVE HIM THIS.
181
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,370
"THANKS, BUDDY."
182
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,746
GET IT?
IT'S A DRIBBLE GLASS!
183
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,449
NOW, HE'S GOT JUICE
ALL OVER HIM.
184
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,785
AND WHEN HE LOOKS AROUND FOR
SOMETHING TO WIPE IT OFF WITH,
185
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:51,022
I'LL SAY, "HERE,
USE MY HANDKERCHIEF."
186
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,924
"YOU'RE A LIFESAVER,
GEORGE."
187
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,092
BU-- HE--
188
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,297
BUT IT'S A GAG
HANDKERCHIEF!
189
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,299
NOW, HIS SHIRT'S
ALL STAINED,
190
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:03,735
HIS HANDS AND FACE
ARE BLACK,
191
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,169
AND HIS MOUTH
IS BURNING.
192
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:08,072
IS HE GONNA LOOK
LIKE A FOOL OR WHAT?
193
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,447
YES.
194
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,250
THANKS. THAT'S ALL
I WANTED TO KNOW.
195
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:23,855
HARLEY?
HARLEY ESTIN?
196
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,857
UH, HI, JOANNA.
197
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,925
- HI, BEAVER BROTHER.
- HI, HARLEY.
198
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,994
- YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.
- OH, THANKS!
199
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:32,830
YOU TOO.
200
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,165
CAN I DO SOMETHING
FOR YOU?
201
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,034
OH, ACTUALLY, I'M HERE
TO SEE JOANNA.
202
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:39,037
OKAY. THEN I BETTER
GO FIND SOME TURPENTINE.
203
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,472
THEY SAY THIS STUFF
IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OFF.
204
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,874
[CHUCKLES]
205
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,917
- WHAT IS IT, HARLEY?
- WELL...
206
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,986
I SAW YOUR AD
IN THE PAPER.
207
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,755
AND I'M APPLYING
FOR THE POSITION.
208
00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:00,792
- OF MAID?
- YUP, I'M YOUR MAN!
209
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,493
BUT I THOUGHT
YOU HAD A JOB.
210
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,562
YEAH, I WAS IN
DOOR TO DOOR SALES.
211
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,731
BUT A SURPRISING NUMBER
OF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE
212
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:10,168
TO BUY VEAL
DOOR TO DOOR.
213
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,869
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
214
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:15,639
ANYWAY, WHEN THAT FELL THROUGH,
I GOT KINDA DESPONDENT.
215
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:19,610
BUT THEN, I SAW YOUR AD,
AND IT WAS LIKE A BEACON!
216
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,213
HARLEY, UH, DO YOU KNOW
ANYTHING AT ALL
217
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,115
- ABOUT BEING A MAID?
- NO!
218
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,117
WHY? IS THAT
A JOB REQUIREMENT?
219
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,285
- WELL, KIND OF.
- OH.
220
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,821
OH, DEAR.
221
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,655
I SUPPOSE NOW IF I TOLD YOU
I KNEW ALL ABOUT IT,
222
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:34,125
YOU'D KNOW SOMETHING
WAS AFOOT.
223
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,227
- YES.
- BUT I CAN LEARN.
224
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,896
AND EVERY BIRD HAS TO FLY
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
225
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:42,100
- EXCEPT PENGUINS.
- UH...
226
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,501
- HARLEY, THIS DOESN'T SEEM--
- I WORK REAL HARD!
227
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,170
- I KNOW--
- I'M AWFUL NICE
TO BE AROUND.
228
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,605
OH, HARLEY.
229
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:51,575
I'M SORRY, I JUST DON'T THINK
IT'LL WORK OUT.
230
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:53,211
OH.
231
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,678
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
232
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,714
[SIGHS]
I GUESS,
IN THIS WORLD,
233
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,916
SOMEBODY'S GOT TO
BE THE PENGUIN.
234
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,497
YOU WANT TO TALK
TO MICHAEL?
235
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,901
COULD I ASK
WHO'S CALLING?
236
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:20,504
MIMI?
237
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,007
HE'S NOT IN.
238
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,842
AS A GENERAL RULE,
HE'S NOT IN
239
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,779
FOR ANYONE
NAMED MIMI.
240
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,547
I'M SORRY. I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO TAKE A MESSAGE.
241
00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,784
I HAVE TO GET BACK
TO MY FILING.
242
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,490
THAT WAS PRETTY RUDE,
WASN'T IT?
243
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,760
SHE CERTAINLY WAS.
244
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,163
EXCUSE ME,
YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE.
245
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,498
- I-I BEG YOUR PARDON?
- EVERY CRAZY ON THE STREET
246
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,066
IS TRYING
TO GET IN HERE.
247
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,335
I'M UNDER SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS
TO KEEP THEM OUT.
248
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,704
[LAUGHS]
DO I LOOK CRAZY
TO YOU?
249
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,439
I GUESS NOT.
250
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,408
THOUGH I CAN'T
EXPLAIN THAT DRESS.
251
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,576
[SCOFFS]
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
252
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:02,013
I PAID $200
FOR THIS DRESS.
253
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,715
THEN YOU ARE CRAZY.
254
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,518
YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE
WITHOUT A--
255
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:13,958
WHO ARE YOU?
256
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,460
I'M STEPHANIE,
THE RECEPTIONIST.
257
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,262
- WHO HIRED YOU?
- MY BOYFRIEND.
258
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,897
- WHO'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?
- WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
259
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,598
- THE STATION MANAGER.
- DO YOU WORK FOR HIM?
260
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,935
I AM HIM!
261
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:29,606
I HAVE TO GO
TO THE LADIES' ROOM.
262
00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:31,843
- MICHAEL!
- OH, GOD.
263
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,880
STEPHANIE?
[SIGHS]
264
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,482
OH, HI, FRAN. I--
I LIKE THE PEEK-A-BOO LOOK.
265
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,051
[SCOFFS]
266
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,619
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
IS A DREADFUL RECEPTIONIST.
267
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:45,689
AND SHE TORE MY DRESS.
DUMP HER.
268
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:47,959
FRAN, I'M NOT SURE
THOSE SOUND LIKE REASONS
TO BREAK UP WITH THE GIRL.
269
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,995
[LAUGHING]
OH, WELL, I DON'T CARE
IF YOU BREAK UP WITH HER.
270
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,796
I JUST WANT YOU...
271
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,365
TO FIRE HER.
272
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,834
OH.
273
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,438
OH!
274
00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:13,817
[CLICKS ON]
UH, INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
275
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:15,519
FOR MICROBIOLOGIST,
276
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,422
DR. GEORGIA DUCKETT.
277
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:22,860
UH, QUESTION...
278
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,496
NUMBER ONE.
279
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:29,166
UM...
280
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:32,803
"TELL ME...
281
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,139
"GEORGIA...
282
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:41,045
"GEORGIA...
283
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,447
[CLICKS OFF]
284
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,449
DICK,
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
285
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:46,583
REALLY? WHAT--
WHAT IS IT?
286
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:49,320
FRAN SAYS I'VE GOT
TO FIRE STEPHANIE.
287
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,188
MICHAEL, THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE A PROBLEM
288
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,490
"WE" HAVE.
289
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:55,592
- WHAT-WHAT-- WHAT HAPPENED?
- HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
290
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:58,729
WE'RE PROBABLY INTO
THE INCOMPETENT THING.
291
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,399
DICK, I CAN'T FIRE
MY STEADY.
292
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,568
WELL, IT ISN'T GONNA BE EASY.
SHE-SHE LOVES IT HERE.
293
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,770
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE YOU COULD
OFFER HER A MASSIVE RAISE
294
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:08,672
TO COME BACK
AS A MAID?
295
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:12,043
THEN I'D BE INTO
THE INCOMPETENCE THING.
296
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,812
BUT DICK, IF I FIRE HER,
SHE'LL HATE ME.
297
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,180
SHE WON'T HATE YOU.
298
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:19,783
I MEAN, NOT IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
HAS ANY DEPTH OR MATURITY.
299
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:22,119
WELL, DICK, NOW,
YOU'RE JUST SCARING ME.
300
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,857
MICHAEL, THERE'S SOME THINGS
YOU JUST HAVE TO WORK OUT
301
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,892
- FOR YOURSELF.
- THANKS A LOT, DICK.
302
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:31,429
YOU CAN BUY PILLOWS
THAT SAY THAT.
303
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,468
UH, WHERE WAS I?
REWIND.
304
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:41,372
[CLICKS]
GEORGIA...
305
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:48,712
BOY, WHAT A FIRST DAY
ON THE JOB.
306
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,348
YEAH, I--
I HOPE YOU AREN'T...
307
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,482
TOO DISAPPOINTED.
308
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,385
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I LOVE THIS PLACE.
309
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,320
YOU DO?
310
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,422
DI-- UH, DIDN'T YOU
TALK TO MICHAEL?
311
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,624
YEAH. JUST NOW.
312
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,294
ISN'T IT EXCITING?
313
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,895
WHAT-- WHAT IS?
314
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,466
THAT I'VE BEEN PROMOTED.
315
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,101
PROM-- PROMOTED TO WHAT?
316
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:13,437
YOUR SECRETARY.
317
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,141
RIGHT.
318
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,510
W-WOULD YOU-- WOULD YOU
WAIT HERE, UH, FOR--
319
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,979
FOR JUST A SECOND?
320
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,283
MICHAEL!
321
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,221
MICHAEL!
MICHAEL!
322
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,957
MICHAEL!
323
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,659
YO.
324
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,594
YOU ARE THE LOWEST FORM
OF LIFE, DO YOU KNOW THAT?
325
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:39,830
YOU'RE A MISERABLE,
SNEAKY, CONNIVING COWARD.
326
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,899
PROBLEM, DICK?
327
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:44,468
YOU KNOW IT! YOU TOLD STEPHANIE
SHE WAS GONNA BE MY SECRETARY.
328
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,037
WELL, CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,
DICK, BUT HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
329
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,472
- BEGGING FOR A SECRETARY?
- NOT STEPHANIE!
330
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,574
WHY NOT? SHE'S AN
EXPERIENCED RECEPTIONIST.
331
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:53,810
SHE'S BEEN A RECEPTIONIST
FOR 90 MINUTES!
332
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,179
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
WH-WHY DON'T YOU JUST
333
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,747
- GIVE HER A CHANCE?
- NO!
334
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,916
WELL, THEN, I GUESS
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIRE HER.
335
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,755
NO WAY!
YOU FIRE HER.
336
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,790
DICK, I CAN'T.
I KNOW STEPHANIE.
337
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,893
LIPS THAT GIVE NOTICE
WILL NEVER TOUCH HERS.
338
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,729
BASICALLY, YOU'VE GOT
A LOT LESS TO LOSE.
339
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,465
LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA
BE THE ONE TO FIRE HER,
340
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,500
SO YOU CAN HAVE
HAPPY LIPS.
341
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,271
GREAT!
THEN SHE'LL STAY.
342
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,972
SHE CAN'T!
SHE'LL KEEP SHOWING UP HERE,
343
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,375
EVERYDAY AT THE OFFICE,
AND WE'LL STILL HAVE A PROBLEM.
344
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,410
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU, DICK.
DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A PROBLEM
345
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:28,512
"WE" HAVE.
346
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:41,425
STEPHANIE, I--
I THINK WE'D BETTER...
347
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,894
WHAT...
WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
348
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,963
I'M TYPING UP
YOUR NOTES FOR YOU.
349
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,532
WHAT-- WHAT NOTES?
350
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:51,335
[DICK ON TAPE]
GEORGIA...
351
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,107
YOU-- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.
352
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,008
OH, I DON'T MIND.
353
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,177
I'M FULFILLING MYSELF.
354
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:03,747
THIS MORNING, RECEPTIONIST,
AND NOW, SECRETARY
355
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,616
TO AN ON-AIR
PERSONALITY.
356
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,818
THIS IS GREAT.
I FINALLY FOUND
357
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,920
SOMETHING
I'M GOOD AT.
358
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,027
"GEORGIE ON MY MINK?"
359
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,430
TA-DA!
360
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,267
UH, STEPHANIE--
UH, MAYBE YOU STILL
361
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,801
HAVEN'T FOUND
THAT...
362
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,004
ELUSIVE SOMETHING
YOU'RE GOOD AT.
363
00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:30,641
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DICK?
364
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,410
WHAT I-- WHAT I MEAN IS,
YOU'RE....
365
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,946
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO BE MY SECRETARY.
366
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,081
- I'M NOT?
- NO.
367
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:41,118
AM I GOING TO
BE PROMOTED AGAIN?
368
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,353
NO.
369
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,121
THEN, WHAT AM I
GOING TO BE?
370
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,258
UM, FIRED.
371
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,492
WHAT?
372
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,295
M-- MICHAEL WAS SUPPOSE
TO FIRE YOU AS--
373
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,896
AS RECEPTIONIST.
374
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,166
MICHAEL WANTED
TO FIRE ME?
375
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:58,068
NO, TH-THE STATION MANAGER
TOLD HIM TO, BUT...
376
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,970
HE COULDN'T DO IT,
SO...
377
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,773
HE HIRED YOU AS--
AS MY SECRETARY.
378
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,908
OH.
379
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,510
WELL, WHO'S MAKING YOU
FIRE ME?
380
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,479
THE STATION MANAGER?
381
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,315
BU-- UH, NO.
382
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,949
NOT MICHAEL?
383
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,685
NO.
384
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,488
WELL, THAT CERTAINLY
NARROWS IT DOWN.
385
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,126
MICHAEL WAS SUPPOSE TO FIRE YOU
IN-IN THE FIRST PLACE.
386
00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:26,096
BUT HE'S TOO MUCH OF A MAN
TO DO YOUR DIRTY WORK.
387
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,967
WELL, I HOPE
YOU'RE HAPPY.
388
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,837
YOU'RE TO BLAME
FOR ALL THIS.
389
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,639
[VOICE BREAKS]
I DON'T HAVE A JOB.
390
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:37,608
I HAVE NO MONEY.
[SNIFFLES]
391
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,910
I HAVE NO FUTURE.
392
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,613
[CRIES]
AND I HAVE
A GRAY HAIR!
393
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:47,984
UM...S-STEPHANIE,
PLEA-- PLEASE DON'T CRY.
394
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:51,121
[SNIFFLES]
THERE'S NOTHING SADDER
395
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,591
THAN A PERKY BLONDE
ON THE SKIDS.
396
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,496
LOOK, HOW-HOW--
HOW ABOUT YOU COME BACK
397
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:01,532
TO THE INN
AND-AND WORK FOR US?
398
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,468
AS WHAT?
399
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,003
AS-- AS THE MAID.
400
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,905
BUT I'VE DONE THAT.
401
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,141
NOT-- NOT REALLY.
402
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,881
I CAN'T GO BACK
TO MAID'S WORK.
403
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,618
THAT WAS JUST
TAKING ORDERS.
404
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,754
HERE AT THE STATION,
I HAD RESPONSIBILITIES.
405
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,690
BUT HERE-- HERE AT THE STATION,
YOU-- YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB.
406
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:33,029
I HAVE MY MEMORIES.
407
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,966
HOW ABOUT ME GIVING
YOU A RAISE?
408
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,235
SAY, UH--
UH, TEN PERCENT?
409
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,305
I DON'T WANT
YOUR GUILT MONEY.
410
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:42,573
IT-IT--
IT'S NOT GUILT MONEY.
411
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,708
WE-WE-- WE NEED YOU.
I MEAN, THE-THE PLACE
412
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,010
HASN'T BEEN THE SAME,
SINCE-- SINCE YOU LEFT
413
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,979
TH-THIS MORNING.
414
00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:53,784
- YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT.
- NO-NO-- NO, I'M-I'M NOT.
415
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,687
YOU'RE THE--
YOU'RE THE...
416
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,523
BEST GOSH DARN MAID
WE'VE, UH...
417
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:04,762
WE'VE-WE'VE EVER HAD.
418
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,563
OH, YOU REALLY DO
NEED ME?
419
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:09,900
YEAH.
420
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:13,604
THEN I'M WORTH MORE
THAN TEN PERCENT.
421
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,673
MAKE IT 15
AND YOU'VE GOT ME.
422
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:17,274
[SIGHS]
I'VE--
423
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,942
I GUESS I GOT YOU.
424
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,511
OH, BOY!
425
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:23,614
[INHALES]
OH!
426
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,317
I'M GOING TO TAKE MICHAEL
OUT TO DINNER TO CELEBRATE.
427
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,452
AND TO THANK HIM
FOR STANDING UP FOR ME.
428
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:32,022
[EXHALES]
I'LL USE MY FIRST
WEEK'S RAISE, SO...
429
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:34,090
IT'LL BE, KIND OF,
YOUR TREAT.
430
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,238
- HI, I'M BACK!
- HI, STEPHANIE.
431
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,473
HOW WAS
YOUR FIRST DAY?
432
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,875
AS WHAT? A RECEPTIONIST,
DICK'S SECRETARY,
433
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:54,144
- OR YOUR NEW MAID?
- OUR NEW MAID?
434
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,847
[GIGGLES]
YEAH, I'M REALLY BACK!
435
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:03,086
- HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
- HO-HONEY, IT WAS AWFUL.
436
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:04,488
STEPHANIE IS
A TERRIBLE RECEPTIONIST.
437
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,289
MICHAEL STUCK ME WITH
THE JOB OF FIRING HER.
438
00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:08,392
AND-AND I-- I JUST DIDN'T
HAVE THE HEART TO--
439
00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:10,160
TO NOT TAKE HER
BACK HERE.
440
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:12,763
WELL, I UNDERSTAND, DICK,
BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM.
441
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,631
- WHAT?
- I HIRED A MAID TODAY.
442
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:16,600
NOW, DON'T WORRY.
IT WAS ONLY ON A TRIAL BASIS,
443
00:22:16,602 --> 00:22:18,836
AND IT'S NOT WORKING OUT,
BUT...
444
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,738
I CAN'T BRING MYSELF
TO DO THE FIRING.
445
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,272
- COULD YOU?
- I CAN'T!
446
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,808
- OH, PLEASE, DICK!
- HONEY, ONE FIRING A DAY
IS ENOUGH.
447
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,378
THIS ONE IS YOURS.
448
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,646
OKAY, I'LL TRY.
449
00:22:38,957 --> 00:22:41,492
HEY, BOSS!
450
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:47,831
JOANNA SAID YOU WANTED
TO SPEAK TO ME?
451
00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:26,637
MEOW.
31208
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