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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:06,238 �� [THEME] 2 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,691 - HI. - OH, HI. 3 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,694 I'M STUART COSWELL, AND I HAD A RESERVATION. 4 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,028 - OH, YES. - YEAH. 5 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,298 YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME, MR. COSWELL. 6 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,999 TODAY IS OUR MAID'S DAY OFF. 7 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,735 THE ONLY CHANCE I HAVE TO GET THE CLEANING DONE. 8 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,973 HERE YOU GO. THERE. 9 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:18,876 THANK YOU. 10 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,878 [STUART LAUGHS] 11 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,217 I'LL GET OUR HANDYMAN TO CARRY YOUR THINGS 12 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,319 UPSTAIRS FOR YOU. 13 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,457 THAT'S OKAY. I'D PREFER TO CARRY MY BAGS MYSELF. 14 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:36,328 SEE, IT'S EASIER. 15 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,930 MR. COSWELL. I OUGHT TO TELL YOU 16 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,566 THAT WE CAN'T ALLOW PETS. 17 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,268 YOU CAN'T? 18 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,370 WELL. GOOD POLICIES. 19 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,405 YOU KNOW, I HATE 'EM. YUCK. 20 00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,941 THIS MIGHT SOUND NITPICKY, BUT THAT BOX 21 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:53,445 DOES LOOK LIKE IT COULD CONTAIN A YUCKY PET. 22 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,247 [STUART LAUGHS] 23 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,415 DON'T BE SILLY. NO, YOU SEE, THIS... 24 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:59,417 THIS IS SOCKS. 25 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,457 THEN WHY ARE THERE AIR HOLES? 26 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,492 I DIDN'T SAY THEY WERE CLEAN. 27 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,596 ROOM SEVEN. 28 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,999 AND, UH, THIS, OF COURSE, IS THE LOBBY. 29 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,435 [WOMAN GASPS] OH... 30 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:22,774 WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU WERE HERE BEFORE. 31 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,277 THIS-- THIS IS WHERE YOU CHECKED IN. 32 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,579 AND I STILL LOVE IT. 33 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,181 WELL, FEEL FREE 34 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,016 TO HUG A WALL. 35 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,587 WHAT-- WHAT'S ALL THIS? 36 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,522 I'M TRYING TO GET SOME CLEANING DONE. 37 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:40,258 OH RIGHT. THIS IS STEPHANIE'S DAY OFF. 38 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,429 SAY, DICK, YOU KNOW THOSE CELTICS TICKETS 39 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,930 YOU WERE TRYING TO GET, AND I SAID 40 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,932 I COULD GET THEM FOR YOU? WELL, GUESS WHAT? 41 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:50,735 - YOU GOT 'EM? - NO. 42 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:54,439 BUT MY FRIEND DUTCH DID, AND HE GAVE THEM TO ME. 43 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,907 OH. THANKS, GEORGE. 44 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,276 HEY, DICK, I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING 45 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,111 THERE ARE TWO TICKETS THERE. 46 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,515 WERE YOU PLANNING TO TAKE ANYONE IN PARTICULAR? 47 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,719 YEAH, GEORGE, I WAS PLANNING ON TAKING YOU. 48 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,554 OH. WELL, 49 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:12,857 IT'S KIND OF LAST-MINUTE, BUT OKAY. 50 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,962 MR. LOUDON, YOU'VE DONE SUCH A FABULOUS JOB 51 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,331 OF PRESERVING THIS PLACE. 52 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:22,367 YOU'RE JUST WONDERFUL. 53 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:26,304 WELL, THE GUEST IS ALWAYS RIGHT. 54 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,005 - MR. LOUDON-- - OR YOU CAN CALL ME 55 00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,675 MR. WONDERFUL. 56 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:34,312 WELL, I'D LIKE US TO STICK WITH THE NAME ON THE ARREST WARRANT. 57 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:37,014 - ARREST WARRANT? - YOU'RE ARRESTING DICK? 58 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:38,082 YEAH, I'M AFRAID SO. 59 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,718 WELL, WHAT DID HE DO? 60 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,620 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 61 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,722 WHAT'D I DO? 62 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,124 WELL, YOU... 63 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,593 HELD UP A LIQUOR STORE. 64 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,161 WHAT? 65 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,196 OH, SORRY. WRONG WARRANT. 66 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,234 APPARENTLY YOU FAILED TO PAY SOME PARKING FINES. 67 00:03:56,236 --> 00:04:00,004 WELL, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 68 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:01,506 THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. 69 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:04,175 I HAD A COUPLE OF TICKETS, BUT I PAID THEM. 70 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,110 I NEVER GET TIRED OF HEARING THAT ONE. 71 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,445 BUT JUST THE SAME, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME DOWN 72 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,547 - TO THE STATION WITH ME. - I'LL FOLLOW YOU DOWN. 73 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,650 YOU'LL PROBABLY WANNA BRING SOME MONEY, MA'AM. 74 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,819 OR HIS TOOTHBRUSH, DEPENDING ON HOW BADLY YOU WANT HIM BACK. 75 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,288 LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS. 76 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,423 WE'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. 77 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,559 WELL, JUST IN CASE YOU'RE NOT, MR. LOUDON. 78 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,695 THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. 79 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,831 YOU HAVE A LOVELY HIDEOUT. 80 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:38,176 NOW-- NOW DICK, JUST TRY AND COOL DOWN. 81 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,944 I DON'T WANNA COOL DOWN. I WAS ARRESTED 82 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,846 IN FRONT OF MY GUESTS. I WAS THROWN IN A CELL 83 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,281 WITH A GUY WHO ACTUALLY SMELLED LIKE 84 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,317 HE COULD'VE BEEN JACK DANIELS. 85 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:50,655 AND THEN THAT JUDGE FINED ME $275 WORTH 86 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,089 FOR A CRIME I NEVER COMMITTED. 87 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,292 WELL, I BELIEVE YOU, HONEY, BUT THAT WAS NO REASON 88 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,528 TO LOSE YOUR HEAD OUTSIDE THE COURTHOUSE. 89 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,229 HONEY, IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS, 90 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,833 CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE IS A BIRTHRIGHT. 91 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,468 BESIDES, I DON'T THINK THE JUDGE EVEN SAW 92 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,704 WHO THREW THAT SNOWBALL. 93 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,339 DICK. 94 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,007 DICK, ISN'T IT REMOTELY POSSIBLE 95 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:12,210 THAT YOU FORGOT TO PAY THOSE PARKING TICKETS? 96 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,245 NO, AND I'M GOING TO PROVE IT. 97 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,549 OUT OF MY WAY! 98 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,916 WHO'RE YOU TALKING TO? 99 00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:20,885 A CHAIR! 100 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,022 OH, HELLO, MR. COSWELL. 101 00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,524 OH HI. 102 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,893 GEE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU STANDING THERE. 103 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:32,864 - I'VE BEEN ON A DIET. - AH. 104 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,632 WHAT'S THAT? 105 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,100 OH, UH... WELL, 106 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:39,571 I GOT A LITTLE HUNGRY, SO I FIXED MYSELF A SNACK. 107 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,172 RAW LIVER. 108 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,242 YEAH. YEAH, IT'S MY ONE WEAKNESS. 109 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,679 YOU'D BE AMAZED AT HOW MANY RESTAURANTS 110 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,714 OVERCOOK IT. 111 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,184 - AH-HAH! - "AH-HAH" WHAT? 112 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,553 AH-HAH, I WAS RIGHT. I DID PAY THOSE TRAFFIC FINES. 113 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:56,755 I HAVE THE CANCELED CHECKS HERE. 114 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,423 NOW MAYBE THE JUDGE'LL LISTEN TO REASON. 115 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,659 ASSUMING HE'S GOTTEN ALL THE SNOW OUT OF HIS EAR. 116 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,061 I WAS AIMING FOR HIS HAT. 117 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:06,364 DICK. HONEY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD WAIT 118 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,333 UNTIL YOU'RE IN A LESS VENGEFUL MOOD? 119 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,403 I'M NOT VENGEFUL. 120 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,505 I'M SIMPLY GOING TO GO DOWN TO THE COURTHOUSE 121 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,774 AND LAY THE CANCELED CHECKS OUT, ONE BY ONE, 122 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,009 UNDER THE BEAK OF THAT BLACK COW, POMPOUS, 123 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,944 TOAD OF A JUDGE. 124 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,082 BOY, DID I TAKE THE RIGHT DAY OFF 125 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,285 OR WHAT? 126 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,687 - SO HOW WAS SKIING? - WONDERFUL. 127 00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,956 I HAD A LESSON WITH THE SINGLE MOST GORGEOUS 128 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,025 SKI INSTRUCTOR ON THIS PLANET. 129 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,661 - WOLFGANG. - STEPHANIE. 130 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,496 OH, HE DOESN'T MIND. 131 00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:41,599 DO YOU, WOLFIE? 132 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,803 - NEIN. - [BOTH LAUGH] 133 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:48,139 WHERE'S DICK? WE'VE GOTTA TRY THIS OUT ON HIM. 134 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,007 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. 135 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,744 - DICK WAS ARRESTED. - ARRESTED? FOR WHAT? 136 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,512 FAILURE TO PAY PARKING FINES. 137 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,147 BUT IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING. 138 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,115 HE'S GONE TO STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT. 139 00:06:58,117 --> 00:06:59,584 MIKE, WILL YOU WANT TO STAY FOR LUNCH? 140 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,186 NO THANKS, I NIBBLED STEPHIE'S EAR ON THE CHAIR LIFT. 141 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,629 WHY THE LONG FACE, INGRID? 142 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,633 MICHAEL, DO YOU REMEMBER 143 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,001 WHEN DICK AND JOANNA WENT TO THAT 144 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,736 WRITERS' CONFERENCE IN NEW YORK? 145 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,137 HOW COULD I FORGET? THAT'S THE WEEK WE HAD TO 146 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:23,274 REPLACE DICK'S SHOW WITH THAT MUNSTER RERUN. 147 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,710 MONSTER RATINGS. 148 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,346 WELL, WHILE THEY WERE GONE, I BORROWED DICK'S CAR. 149 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,748 AND I GOT SOME PARKING TICKETS. 150 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,983 BUT I GUESS I FORGOT 151 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:35,052 TO TELL HIM ABOUT, UH, PAY. 152 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,957 BAD FORM, STEPH. WHY WERE USING HIS CAR? 153 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,659 IT'S AMERICAN, ISN'T IT? 154 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:44,128 I WAS BUYING SHOES. I NEEDED A WAGON. 155 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,902 WELL, YOU HAVE A PERFECT EXPLANATION. 156 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,637 SO YOU DON'T THINK HE'LL BE MAD? 157 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,906 - WITH THAT LITTLE NOSE? - YOU'RE RIGHT. 158 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:59,210 I WAS BEING A DUMMKOPF. 159 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,850 OH, SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, MR. LOUDON. 160 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,351 I HOPE THIS WON'T TAKE TOO LONG. 161 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,220 I'VE GOT A SPLITTING HEADACHE. 162 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,890 SOMEONE BEAMED ME WITH A SNOWBALL THIS MORNING. 163 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:19,296 KIDS, KIDS, KIDS. 164 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,566 WELL, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 165 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,768 UM, JUDGE DRAYTON, UM, 166 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,570 I'M SURE YOU'RE PROBABLY A DECENT GUY, 167 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,739 BUT YOUR DECISION THIS MORNING 168 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:31,676 REALLY SUCKED ROPE. 169 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,445 YOUR HONOR. 170 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,414 TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, MR. LOUDON. 171 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,016 YOU'RE RIGHT. 172 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,317 - I AM? - YEAH, IN REVIEWING YOUR FILE, 173 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,921 I FOUND A SERIOUS OVERSIGHT. 174 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:46,223 YOU WERE FINED $275. 175 00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:48,860 IT SHOULD'VE BEEN 300. 176 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,595 WHAT? 177 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,229 IT'S TIME I GOT A NEW CALCULATOR. 178 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:54,331 THIS OLD ONE... 179 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:57,936 SUCKS ROPE, IS IT? 180 00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,336 BUT-- BUT I'M NOT GUILTY. 181 00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,972 AS A MATTER OF FACT, 182 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,975 YOU'RE GUILTY OF FALSE ARREST. 183 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,977 EXCUSE ME? 184 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,845 I HAVE HERE THREE-- 185 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,213 COUNT THEM, THREE-- 186 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,815 CANCELED CHECKS MADE OUT 187 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:14,018 TO THE MUNICIPAL COURT FOR PARKING VIOLATIONS. 188 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,220 ONE. 189 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,789 TWO. 190 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,090 THREE. 191 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,693 READ THEM AND WEEP. 192 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:24,161 WELL, I'LL BE. 193 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,496 YOU DID PAY THEM. 194 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:29,433 SURPRISE, SURPRISE. 195 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,570 BUT UNFORTUNATELY, YOU FAILED TO PAY 196 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,838 FOUR. 197 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,106 FIVE. 198 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,174 SIX. 199 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,078 FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX? 200 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,513 SURPRISE, SURPRISE. 201 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,683 BUT I-- I NEVER GOT THOSE. 202 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,118 THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. 203 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,220 YOU-- YOU SHOULD BE... 204 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,156 DISROBED. 205 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:55,860 MR. LOUDON, YOU SEEM TO HAVE A SLIGHT ATTITUDE PROBLEM. 206 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,496 OBVIOUSLY JUST FINING YOU WASN'T ENOUGH. 207 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,598 MAYBE SOME COMMUNITY SERVICE WORK 208 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,866 WOULD DO YOU GOOD. 209 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,701 COMMUNITY SERVICE WORK? 210 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:06,270 YES, THAT'S WHERE YOU CHEERFULLY DONATE 211 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,072 ALL YOUR FREE TIME FOR SOME 212 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,508 COMMUNITY IMPROVEMENT PROJECT. 213 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,576 YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME. 214 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:16,114 I'M A JUDGE. 215 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,315 YOU START TOMORROW. 216 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:19,617 BUT I'M BUSY TOMORROW. 217 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,253 I HAVE TICKETS TO THE CELTICS GAME. 218 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,857 YOU DO? YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN. 219 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:29,627 WELL. YOU WERE. 220 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,696 WELL, NOW, I'LL MISS THE GAME. 221 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,165 THIS IS A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE. 222 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,670 LOOK, WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS... 223 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,907 I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM 224 00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,777 ANYMORE. 225 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,444 YOU MAY NOT, MR. LOUDON. 226 00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:50,214 BUT THERE'S ONE THING THAT COMMUNITY SERVICE WILL DO. 227 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,349 - WHAT'S THAT? - IT'LL KEEP YOU TOO BUSY 228 00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:55,019 TO THROW ANY MORE SNOWBALLS. 229 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,394 HI, HONEY. DID YOU GET EVERYTHING 230 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,862 STRAIGHTENED OUT WITH THE JUDGE? 231 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,430 OH, YEAH. 232 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,199 HE FELT SO BAD HE'S GONNA 233 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,501 LET ME PAINT THE TOWN HALL. 234 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,203 - WHAT? - HE SENTENCED ME 235 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:15,039 TO 20 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE WORK STARTING TOMORROW. 236 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,640 CLAIMS I HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE. 237 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:19,443 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT JERK? 238 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:22,313 DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE GAME TOMORROW? 239 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,648 WHAT A JERK. I'M SO MAD I COULD KICK SOMETHING. 240 00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,586 WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. DIDN'T YOU SHOW HIM 241 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,221 THE CANCELED CHECKS? 242 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,488 THEN HE SHOWED ME THREE MORE TICKETS 243 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:34,692 THAT I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER GETTING. 244 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,694 UNLESS... 245 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,664 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 246 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,934 GEORGE, WHAT ABOUT YOU? 247 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,402 I'LL NEED TO HEAR THE WHOLE QUESTION, DICK. 248 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,610 DID YOU GET ANY PARKING TICKETS WITH MY CAR? 249 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:56,013 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 250 00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:57,481 ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA TEAR MY FILES APART, 251 00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,183 BUT I'M TELLING YOU, I NEVER GOT 252 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,318 TICKETS FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX. 253 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,488 DID I HEAR DICK COME BACK? 254 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,924 [DICK] OUT OF MY WAY! 255 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:10,494 - WHO'S HE TALKING TO? - A CHAIR. 256 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,730 I WOULDN'T GO IN THERE IF I WERE YOU. 257 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,498 - WHY NOT? - BECAUSE THE JUDGE 258 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,968 SENTENCED DICK TO 20 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE. 259 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,237 HE'S MADDER THAN I'VE EVER SEEN HIM. 260 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,805 [CLATTER] 261 00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,875 - AH-HAH! - "AH-HAH" WHAT? 262 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:27,011 AH-HAH. I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING TO KICK. 263 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,048 GEORGE, IF YOU GET A CHANCE, 264 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,616 YOU MIGHT TAKE A LOOK AT THE DESK. 265 00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,485 AND HONEY, IF YOU GET A CHANCE, 266 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,587 YOU MIGHT TAKE A LOOK AT MY FOOT. 267 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:42,526 [DICK] IF YOU START UP WITH ME... 268 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,965 STEPHANIE. YOU DIDN'T GET ANY TICKETS 269 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,534 USING DICK'S CAR, DID YOU? 270 00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:53,504 WHY WOULD I USE DICK'S CAR? IT'S AMERICAN. 271 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,572 OH. OF COURSE. 272 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:14,758 STEPHANIE, IS ANYTHING WRONG? 273 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,894 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT? 274 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,395 WELL, YOU'RE... 275 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:21,165 WORKING. 276 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,900 HARD. 277 00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,336 IT'LL PASS. 278 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,441 HI, MRS. LOUDON. CAN STEPHIE COME OUT AND PLAY, 279 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,944 OR IS SHE GROUNDED? 280 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,012 - GROUNDED? - MICHAEL! 281 00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,819 WHOA. TURBO-KISS. 282 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,032 NICE JUMPSUIT, DICK. 283 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,368 MID-LIFE CRISIS? 284 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,036 NO, THEY HAVE THIS RULE THAT SAYS, 285 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,504 IF YOU DO COMMUNITY SERVICE WORK, 286 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,340 YOU HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THE VILLAGE IDIOT. 287 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,509 COMMUNITY SERVICE WORK? 288 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,679 YOU KNOW, FOR THOSE PARKING VIOLATIONS DICK GOT. 289 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,915 ALLEGEDLY GOT. 290 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,583 AHH. 291 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,618 OH. 292 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,454 LISTEN, STEPH, I'M FEELING MADCAP TODAY. 293 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:19,156 WHAT SAY WE TRY OUT THAT NEW HAIR SALON. 294 00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:21,759 NO, I'M JUST GOING TO STAY HERE AND WORK. 295 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,727 POOR STEPH. HOW ABOUT IF I BRING YOU BACK 296 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,930 - A LOCK OF MY HAIR? - OKAY. 297 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,565 REMEMBER. YOU'VE GOT THAT CUTE LITTLE NOSE. 298 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,402 NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU. 299 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,274 HERE'S YOUR LUNCH, HONEY. 300 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,212 JOANNA, I WAS ORDERED TO DO COMMUNITY SERVICE WORK, 301 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:45,216 NOT IMPERSONATE RALPH KRAMDEN. 302 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,684 GEORGE? 303 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,686 YEAH, DICK? 304 00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,322 YOU MAY AS WELL GIVE THIS CELTICS TICKET 305 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,556 TO SOMEBODY ELSE. 306 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,857 AH, GEE, DICK. 307 00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:56,593 MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO THE JUDGE ONE MORE TIME. 308 00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:58,562 GEORGE, IF I TRY TO PROVE MY INNOCENCE ANY MORE, 309 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,332 I'LL WIND UP ON DEATH ROW. 310 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,368 DICK! 311 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,337 WHAT? 312 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,043 HAVE FUN. 313 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,046 YEAH. YEAH, WE'RE TALKING MARDI GRAS. 314 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,891 AH, MR. COSWELL. 315 00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,160 WHERE ARE WE OFF TO? 316 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,262 WE? 317 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,198 OH, OH YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT I'D, YOU KNOW, 318 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,899 TAKE IN THE SIGHTS. 319 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:38,836 YOUR SOCKS SHOULD ENJOY THAT. 320 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,771 AH, YEAH. YEAH, THEY SURE COULD 321 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,007 USE SOME FRESH AIR. 322 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,343 MR. COSWELL, IT'S PAINFULLY CLEAR 323 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,777 THAT YOU ARE HIDING SOMETHING. 324 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,612 I DON'T THINK THERE ARE SOCKS IN HERE. 325 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,915 I THINK THAT WHAT'S IN HERE IS... 326 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:55,853 NOTHING. 327 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:59,156 HUH. SUPPOSE THERE'S A RULE AGAINST THAT, HUH? 328 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:01,825 OH, MR. COSWELL. I'M SO SORRY. 329 00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:05,062 I WAS SURE YOU WERE HIDING A PET IN HERE. 330 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,898 I'M JUST SO EMBARRASSED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 331 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,367 I-- I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME. 332 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,935 OH, HERE, HAVE A POSTCARD. 333 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,907 OH BOY. OH BOY. 334 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,543 [WHISTLES] 335 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,819 [WHISTLES CASUALLY] 336 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:42,199 - GEORGE. - YEAH? 337 00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:44,668 DID YOU EVER GET PUNISHED WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? 338 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,637 WELL, SURE. DIDN'T EVERYONE? 339 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,905 NOT ME. 340 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,407 NEVER? 341 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,308 NOT EVEN THE TIME I CUT LEATHER DOLL CLOTHES 342 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,544 OUT OF THE UPHOLSTERY IN MY FATHER'S ROLLS-ROYCE. 343 00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:57,181 AND HE DIDN'T PUNISH YOU FOR THAT? 344 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,650 HE GAVE ME A PONY. 345 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,419 WHOA. 346 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:05,056 HE SAID I'D SHOWN INGENUITY AND IMAGINATION. 347 00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:07,091 WELL, I HAD, YOU KNOW. 348 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,093 WELL, IF I'D EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT, 349 00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,462 MY FATHER WOULD'VE TAKEN ME OUT TO THE WOODSHED 350 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,998 AND SMOKED MY BEHIND BUT GOOD. 351 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000 GEE, HE MUST'VE REALLY HATED YOU. 352 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:18,436 NO, HE LOVED ME. 353 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,137 BUT HE GOT SO ANGRY. 354 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,540 WELL, YEAH, BUT AFTER A COUPLE HOURS, 355 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,575 HE'D BE SAYING, "HEY, GEORGE, 356 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,909 YOU WANNA PLAY SOME CATCH?" 357 00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,445 AND YOU'D GO PLAY WITH HIM, 358 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,646 AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE AGAIN? 359 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:32,749 WELL, FIRST I'D THROW THE BALL OVER HIS HEAD A FEW TIMES. 360 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:35,619 MAKE HIM CHASE IT. 361 00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:38,089 AND THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE. 362 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,193 GEORGE. 363 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,727 COULD I HAVE THAT EXTRA BASKETBALL TICKET? 364 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,229 I HAVE SOMEBODY I WANT TO GIVE IT TO. 365 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,064 SURE. 366 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,300 AND TELL JOANNA 367 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,402 I HAD TO GO OUT FOR A WHILE. 368 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,605 WHERE SHALL I TELL HER YOU WENT? 369 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,341 TO THE WOODSHED. 370 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:04,348 YOU MISSED A SPOT. 371 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:07,384 I DIDN'T MISS A SPOT. THIS IS CHEAP PAINT. 372 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,553 OH. THEN I GUESS YOU'D BETTER GIVE IT A SECOND COAT 373 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:13,390 WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH. 374 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:16,660 WELP, I'D BETTER PICK UP SOME BREWSKIS. 375 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,996 GUYS ARE COMING OVER TO WATCH THE CELTICS GAME THIS AFTERNOON. 376 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,532 I HAD TICKETS TO THAT GAME. 377 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,800 LOOKS LIKE YOU PAID FOR THE WRONG TICKETS. 378 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,417 WRONG TICKETS, HUH? 379 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:48,325 HI. 380 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:49,860 HI, STEPHANIE. WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE? 381 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:53,130 OH, I THOUGHT I'D JUST... 382 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,731 YOU KNOW, DROP IN 383 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,201 AND SAY HI. 384 00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,970 SEE IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING. 385 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,672 POSSIBLY THROW MYSELF AT YOUR FEET 386 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,607 AND BEG YOU TO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE 387 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,676 FORGIVE ME. 388 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,378 OH. 389 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,880 SHOULD-- 390 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:13,750 SHOULD THIS BE MAKING SENSE? 391 00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:16,153 DICK. 392 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,988 DO YOU REMEMBER 393 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,723 WHEN YOU AND JOANNA WENT TO THAT 394 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,426 WRITERS' CONFERENCE IN NEW YORK? 395 00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,528 AND YOU TOOK HER CAR? 396 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,830 YEAH. 397 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,166 WELL, YOU DIDN'T TAKE 398 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,168 YOUR CAR. 399 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,705 SORRY, I DIDN'T TAKE-- 400 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,841 MY CAR. 401 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:41,612 YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I DID. 402 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,281 TRY ME. 403 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,619 I BORROWED YOUR CAR. 404 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,487 AH. 405 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,790 AND... THEN WHAT HAPPENED? 406 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,327 I GOT SOME PARKING TICKETS. 407 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,829 AH. 408 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,231 WHY-- 409 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,433 WHY DIDN'T YOU PAY THEM? 410 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,401 I WAS GOING TO. 411 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:07,204 BUT THERE WAS A SERIES OF MONETARY DISASTERS. 412 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,307 OH. 413 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,908 LIKE... 414 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,244 LIKE WHAT? 415 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,713 WELL, MY HAIRDRYER DIED. 416 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,615 AND I HAD AN OVERDUE PHONE BILL. 417 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:18,815 YOU HAVE TO PAY THOSE, OR YOU CAN GET 418 00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:21,017 IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE. 419 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:23,954 REALLY. 420 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,489 YEAH. 421 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,923 AND... 422 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,226 AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, 423 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,328 CALLUM'S HAD THIS HUGE SWEATER SALE. 424 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,400 A SWEATER SALE IS NOT A DISASTER. 425 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,269 IT WOULD'VE BEEN 426 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,771 IF I HADN'T GOTTEN THIS PURPLE ONE. 427 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,509 LET-- LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 428 00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,745 YOU-- YOU BORROWED MY CAR, 429 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,580 RAN UP SOME TICKETS, 430 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,449 DIDN'T PAY THEM. DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL ME. 431 00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:54,951 LET ME TAKE THE WRAP SO I'M STANDING HERE 432 00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:57,120 IN THIS SILLY JUMPSUIT 433 00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:59,390 AND MISSING THE BASKETBALL GAME 434 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,559 OF THE CENTURY? 435 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:05,095 THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT. 436 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:09,032 I'M GLAD YOU'RE TAKING IT LIKE THIS. 437 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:10,967 I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE GOING TO YELL. 438 00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:14,070 I'M TOO MAD TO YELL! 439 00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:16,573 WELL, THAT'S SURE A RELIEF. 440 00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:17,974 I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 441 00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:20,076 HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME? 442 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:21,978 I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU! 443 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,347 BUT YOU WERE SO MAD. 444 00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:25,248 YOU HAD THIS LOOK IN YOUR EYE-- 445 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,686 THAT'S THE ONE. 446 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:31,422 AND THE LONGER I WAITED, THE HARDER IT GOT. 447 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,156 THAT IS NO EXCUSE. 448 00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:35,292 WELL, IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER FOR A PERSON TO DO 449 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,362 THE DECENT THING IF THEY MADE IT MORE FUN, YOU KNOW. 450 00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:44,968 STEPHANIE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE TROUBLE YOU'VE CAUSED? 451 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,970 I BUSHWHACKED THE JUDGE. 452 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,707 I'M GOING TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING ON MONDAY. 453 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,042 AND, HERE. 454 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,411 YOU CAN STILL MAKE THE GAME. 455 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,381 NO, I CAN'T. 456 00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,182 IF JUDGE DRAYTON FINDS OUT I LEFT HERE, 457 00:21:59,184 --> 00:22:00,851 HE'LL SENTENCE ME TO... 458 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:04,421 15 YEARS IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR. 459 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:07,324 OH. 460 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,859 WELL. 461 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:10,828 I GUESS IF ANYONE HAS TO PAINT THIS PLACE, 462 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,963 IT SHOULD BE... 463 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:16,467 SOMEONE ELSE. 464 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:20,070 LIKE WHO? 465 00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,439 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 466 00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:25,108 I'LL PAINT IT FOR YOU. 467 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:27,344 BUT IT'S NOT FAIR. 468 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,414 GEORGE GOT TO PLAY CATCH. 469 00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:34,885 I'D ASK. 470 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:37,521 BUT THAT MEANS THAT I... 471 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,491 I HAVE A TIPOFF... 472 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:43,894 TO MISS. 473 00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:47,464 DICK? 474 00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:49,566 DO YOU FORGIVE ME? 475 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:54,070 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 476 00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:07,083 �� [THEME MUSIC] 32116

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