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1
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:20,645
- Hi, George.
2
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,880
- Well, you're out early
this morning.
3
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,249
What have you got there?
4
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:27,685
- Oh, some cosmetics.
5
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,122
- Where do you keep
all that stuff?
6
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,923
- Any place I can find.
7
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,658
- Would you like me
to make something for you
8
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:34,926
to keep all that in?
9
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,828
- Do you mean
like a vanity?
10
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:38,096
Would you, George?
11
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,464
- Sure. I'd be glad to.
12
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,433
- It wouldn't have
to be anything fancy.
13
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,701
It'd just have to be a place
to hold my moisturizers,
14
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,403
mud packs,
foundations, powders,
15
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,339
blushers, mascara, eyeliner,
16
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:50,875
eye shadow, curler,
lipsticks and glosses.
17
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,877
- Is all that on there now?
18
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,112
- Yes, it is.
19
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:59,017
- Boy, when you wash your
face, it must be this big.
20
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,786
- Where's Joanna?
21
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,655
- She's in the basement
doing the laundry.
22
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,492
- Honey, would you come up
here for a second?
23
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,893
- In a minute.
24
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,662
- As long as
you're doing this,
25
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,764
do you think you could
build me a swivel stool
26
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:16,201
so I can do this?
27
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,569
- What are you guys
talking about?
28
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,272
- George is going to build me
a vanity. Isn't that great?
29
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,973
- Stephanie, don't you think
30
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,308
you put a little
too much emphasis
31
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,709
on, you know, how you look?
32
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,812
- Well, maybe, but what
am I supposed to do?
33
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,648
I mean, nobody's
ever said to me,
34
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,650
"Gee, Stephanie,
you're smart."
35
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,818
Or "Gee, Stephanie,
you're fun to be with."
36
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,821
All I've ever been complimented
on are my looks.
37
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,225
Frankly, Dick, being attractive
can be a real burden.
38
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,359
- That's true.
39
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,528
- You don't know
how lucky you are.
40
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,400
- What'd you want, honey?
41
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:49,601
- Oh, I have
some good news.
42
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,002
Paul Frazier called me.
43
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,437
He's the host
of "Book Talk,"
44
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,938
and he wants me to be
his guest this Sunday.
45
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,607
- You're kidding.
That's wonderful.
46
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,942
- Yeah, that's fantastic.
What's "Book Talk?"
47
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,744
- Yeah, I don't think
I've ever seen it.
48
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,680
- Well, it's a local
television program
49
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:02,847
where they
interview writers.
50
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,148
- About what?
51
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,785
- About
what they've written.
52
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,454
- No wonder
I've never seen it.
53
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,790
- Well, I'm proud of you.
I think it's great.
54
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,160
- � The most beautiful girl
in the world �
55
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:19,997
� picks my ties out, cooks
me dinner, is a winner �
56
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,766
Hi, guys. Everybody!
- Kirk?
57
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,236
- � The most beautiful girl
in the world �
58
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,537
� Cooks me dinner �
59
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,005
- I take it Cindy cooked
dinner for you last night.
60
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,774
- It was unbelievable.
61
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,611
We had veal scaloppini,
carrots vichy,
62
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,079
creamed spinach,
chantilly potatoes
63
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,914
and french chocolate mousse.
64
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,917
But then I guess when you're
in love, anything tastes good.
65
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,886
So what's new with you guys?
66
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,956
- We just found out Dick's gonna
be on "Book Talk" this Sunday.
67
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,358
- "Book Talk?"
68
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,092
Is that the show that's on
at 4:00 in the morning
69
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:52,096
right after
"Amish Aerobics?"
70
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,031
- No. It happens to be
71
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,067
a very highly thought of
program on Sunday.
72
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,736
- What time Sunday?
73
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,571
- It's the filler between
the end of the football game
74
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,872
and the news.
75
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,608
- Certainly sounds like
something people take seriously.
76
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,311
- Kirk, it doesn't matter
what time it's on.
77
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,980
It's an honor that Dick has been
recognized as a fine writer.
78
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:11,015
- Or a fine filler.
79
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,685
- Well, I know
I'm going to watch.
80
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,353
- Me, too.
- Not me.
81
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,688
- Why not?
82
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,292
- Because I'm dating Cindy.
I have a life now.
83
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,059
- Well, I think
the least you can do
84
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,362
is take a few minutes out
to watch Dick.
85
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,697
- This is true.
86
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,933
Can I watch it over here?
My TV's broken.
87
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,968
- Of course.
We'll make it a party.
88
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:32,804
We'll pop some popcorn,
have some hot cider
89
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,138
and make an afternoon of it.
90
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,273
- Boy, that sounds great.
91
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:36,841
- Would you like me
to bring something?
92
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,075
- Sure. What would you
like to bring?
93
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:40,244
- Cindy.
94
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:48,252
- The best part is, you just
remove the two screws
95
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,054
and it becomes
completely portable
96
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,155
so you can put it anywhere.
97
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,825
- Dick, that is fascinating.
98
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,427
We're talking
to Dick Loudon,
99
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,395
author of "Let's Build
a Barbecue,"
100
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,964
and we'll be right back
after this commercial word.
101
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,601
- He's doing great,
isn't he?
102
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,303
- I can't believe Cindy
had to work today.
103
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,805
- Kirk, would you
stop pouting?
104
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,407
She's entertaining
at a child's birthday party.
105
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:13,144
- This is what I hate about
dating a professional clown.
106
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:16,180
They're always busy
on weekends.
107
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,816
That should be my time
with Cindy.
108
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,384
- Kirk,
you're being selfish.
109
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,719
- I'm being selfish?
110
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,888
I'm not the one who
picked today to turn six.
111
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,123
- Shh. The commercial
is almost over.
112
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,926
- Well, big whup.
113
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,294
- Kirk, if you don't
wanna watch,
114
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,629
why don't you just go home?
115
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,833
- No, no. If I stay here,
116
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,068
at least I know there's
someone more bored than I am.
117
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,503
- Who's that?
118
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:41,138
- The guy
who's talking to Dick.
119
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,785
- [ chuckles ]
Welcome back.
120
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,620
We're talking
to Dick Loudon,
121
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,689
author of "Let's Build
a Barbecue,"
122
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,991
which you can pick up at
your neighborhood bookstore.
123
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,926
- No, it's not in
the bookstores.
124
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,027
It's in the hardware stores.
125
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,496
- Oh.
126
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:08,600
- Locally, it can be found at
Handy Sam, the Hardware Man.
127
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:12,504
- Well, thank you, Dick.
You've been a wonderful guest.
128
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,071
I'm sorry the game ran long
129
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,573
and we didn't have
more time to talk.
130
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,008
- Well, you know
what they say.
131
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:21,780
Sometimes a man says more
when he doesn't say anything.
132
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:26,250
- So true, so true.
133
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,854
Well, that closes the cover
on another Sunday afternoon.
134
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,989
This is Paul Frazier
for "Book Talk"
135
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,526
saying keep reading.
136
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,597
- Clear!
137
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,801
- Thanks, Dick. I really
enjoyed talking to you.
138
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,402
I liked the book, too.
139
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,737
- Oh, thank you.
140
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,038
- Nice program, Paul.
141
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,606
- Oh, thanks.
142
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,476
Dick, this is our producer,
Michael Harris.
143
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,977
- Oh, how do you do?
- Nice show.
144
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,312
- Thank you.
145
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,513
- Well, if you two
will excuse me,
146
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,849
I've got
a few calls to make.
147
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,150
- Dick,
can you spare a moment?
148
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,585
- Oh, sure.
149
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,086
- I like the way you handled
yourself out there.
150
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,255
You're witty, you're articulate,
you think quick on your seat.
151
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,758
I was impressed.
152
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,359
- Well, thank you.
153
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,362
- I mean it. You've got poise,
charm, and intelligence,
154
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,932
and you seem to possess a keen
insight into human nature.
155
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,801
- Well, you're no slouch
yourself.
156
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,803
- Let me get
right to the point.
157
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,404
Paul is leaving us.
158
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,740
In fact,
this was his last show.
159
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,843
We've been looking around
for a replacement.
160
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,744
I think you'd be perfect.
161
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,746
- Me?
162
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,247
- Why not?
163
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:32,249
- Well, don't get me wrong.
I'm flattered,
164
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:33,518
but I don't have the time.
165
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,019
- Well, this doesn't
take much time.
166
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,154
All you need to do is schedule
a guest and read a book a week.
167
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,924
You do read, don't you?
[ laughs ]
168
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:44,328
- You really think
I could do it?
169
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,830
- Not only do I think
you could do it,
170
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,131
I think
you'd be terrific at it.
171
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,900
The show could really use
a personality like yours.
172
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,903
Not to mention,
it would be an opportunity
173
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,507
to meet and talk
to other writers.
174
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:58,576
- Well, I must admit,
I would enjoy that part of it.
175
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:03,047
- And you can get anybody
you want because it's your show.
176
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:07,519
- Well, there are a few writers
out there I'd like to talk with.
177
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:08,887
- Why don't you
give it a try?
178
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,155
- Okay, what the heck.
179
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,324
- Great.
180
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:17,529
- I was honored just
being a guest on the show.
181
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,431
I never thought
that I'd be a host.
182
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,934
Carson better hope I never do
"The Tonight Show".
183
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,268
[ laughs ]
184
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,370
- That's wit, right?
185
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,072
- Right.
186
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:31,475
- Love it.
[ laughs ]
187
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,011
Well, see you next Sunday.
188
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,013
- What time
should I be here?
189
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,281
- Just make sure you're here
by the two-minute warning.
190
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,283
Hal, do we have any Danish?
191
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:48,092
- Do you want me to pick up
anything on the way?
192
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,829
Okay, then I'll see you in
about 20 minutes. Bye-bye.
193
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,498
Oh, hi, Dick. Something
I can do for you?
194
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:55,667
- I just came over to say
195
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,301
I was sorry to hear
that you're leaving.
196
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:01,472
- What? Oh, my God.
197
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,651
- Paul, I'm sorry.
198
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,754
I was under the impression
that leaving was your idea.
199
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,957
- No.
200
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,861
- Well, don't leave yet.
I'll be right back.
201
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,263
- Well, check with Dave
and get back to me.
202
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,600
- Excuse me?
- Oh, hi, Dick.
203
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,568
- I thought Paul
knew he was leaving.
204
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,003
- You didn't tell him,
did you?
205
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,337
- Yes.
- Ooh.
206
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,774
How'd he take it?
207
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,510
- He's crushed.
Who wouldn't be?
208
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,246
Look, I can't take this job.
209
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,948
- Oh, Dick, listen.
You don't understand.
210
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,182
Paul is leaving
211
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,818
whether you decide to be
the new host or not.
212
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:50,755
This decision was made
long before we spotted you.
213
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,090
- Yeah, but still.
214
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,324
- He's been here 15 years.
215
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,259
I think they just feel
it's time for a new face.
216
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,494
Look, it's not even
my decision.
217
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,429
This comes straight
from the president...
218
00:09:58,498 --> 00:09:59,864
of Channel 8, I mean.
219
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,868
- [ blows nose ]
220
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,871
- And you're sure
there's no way
221
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,272
that Paul could get
his job back?
222
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,473
- Dick, they're
already out there
223
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,676
scraping his name
off the parking space.
224
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,846
Believe me, you're not
squeezing anybody out.
225
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:17,248
You're filling a vacancy.
226
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,250
- All right, but I still
don't like the idea.
227
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:20,618
- But you will do it?
228
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,954
- All right, I guess so.
229
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,188
- Terrific.
230
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:28,526
- But I'm dedicating
next week's show to Paul.
231
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:31,729
- That's a super idea.
See you next week.
232
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,271
- Paul, I'm sorry.
233
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:42,206
- Well, then it's true?
234
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,341
- I'm afraid so.
235
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:47,511
- But I've been doing
this show for 15 years.
236
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,148
Who are they gonna
get to replace me?
237
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:55,352
- Actually, they mentioned
something about me.
238
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,791
- Oh, that makes sense.
239
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,458
I guess if a man
can build a barbecue,
240
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,260
he can host a talk show.
241
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:08,066
Oh, look, you'll give me
some time
242
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,500
to clear out my desk,
won't you?
243
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,170
- Sure. No, take
all the time you need.
244
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,150
Elliott, you're
a literary agent.
245
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,652
You must know some authors.
246
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,255
It's not Timbuktu,
it's Vermont.
247
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,125
Well, I don't care who
you get. Just get somebody.
248
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,360
- Trouble?
- Nobody wants to do the show.
249
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,962
- I thought you were
gonna get Norman Mailer?
250
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,897
- I was.
He turned me down.
251
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,766
- You talked
to Norman Mailer?
252
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,102
- I talked to
his agent's secretary.
253
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,502
She turned me down.
254
00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:47,705
Now, honey, the only reason
I took this job
255
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,440
was to meet and talk
with authors.
256
00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:52,210
I thought they'd be as excited
as I am to be on the show.
257
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,544
- Well, what
are you gonna do?
258
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,780
- I'll just hope Elliott
can come up with somebody.
259
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,716
If he doesn't, I may wind up
interviewing myself.
260
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,752
- Is there anything
I can do to help?
261
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,254
- Can you write a book
by Sunday?
262
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,958
- I have got great news.
263
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,460
Guess who's gonna sponsor
your show.
264
00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:11,629
- Oh, Lord.
265
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,131
- You would not believe
266
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:15,967
how cheap it is to advertise
on that program.
267
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,301
- I don't wanna hear.
268
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,470
- Are you sure?
It's funny.
269
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:21,338
- Why are you
doing this, Kirk?
270
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,640
- It's a perfect client.
271
00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:25,109
The host of "Book Talk" is my
neighbor and my best friend.
272
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,178
- Will you quit calling me
your best friend?
273
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,481
This is not the kind of program
where you hawk hamburgers.
274
00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,549
- Dick, I realize
it's a classy show,
275
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,418
but I intend to do
a classy commercial.
276
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,155
That's why I want Joanna to be
my spokeswoman for the cafe.
277
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,257
- Me?
- Joanna?
278
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:42,493
- Honey, I really don't think we
both have to be that surprised.
279
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:43,995
- I think you'd be perfect.
280
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,830
You're the most
sophisticated woman I know.
281
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:46,998
- I am?
- Yeah.
282
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,065
- What do you think, Dick?
283
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:49,801
- Well, honey,
it's up to you.
284
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,302
But, I mean, you really
want to be seen
285
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,972
representing a greasy,
crummy cafe?
286
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,908
- What would I wear?
287
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,375
- Anything you want.
288
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,811
- Dick,
I know you're worried
289
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,345
that Kirk is gonna do
something embarrassing,
290
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,714
but if I were there, I could
make sure that didn't happen.
291
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,982
- Honey, I told you,
292
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,450
if you want to do it,
it's up to you.
293
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:10,188
- Well, okay, if everybody
really thinks I'd be good.
294
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,790
- Great. We have to shoot
the commercial on Sunday.
295
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:13,791
- Sunday's fine.
296
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,959
- Wait a minute.
297
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,060
Neither of us is gonna
be here on Sunday.
298
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,930
I'd better tell George
and Stephanie.
299
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:22,266
- Oh, by the way, they say
TV adds 10 pounds to you,
300
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,468
so you might wanna
drop a few beforehand.
301
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,750
- You haven't seen the producer
of the show, have you?
302
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,085
- Hal?
303
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,788
- Have you seen the producer
of the show?
304
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,490
- Have a good show, Dick.
305
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,826
- Michael, wait a minute.
Where have you been?
306
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:49,994
I've been trying
to reach you all week.
307
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,195
You never returned my calls.
308
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:54,065
- Didn't I? Sorry.
309
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,466
What's the problem?
310
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:57,969
- Well, you never told me
how hard it was to get guests.
311
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,971
I mean, you said
it'd take a couple hours.
312
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,139
I've been on the phone
all week calling people.
313
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,841
- Gee, I hope
you got somebody.
314
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,143
- Yeah, I did. I don't know
how good he is.
315
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:07,378
I got him
at the last minute.
316
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,645
- Well, what's his book?
317
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:11,515
- "The Complete History
of the Universe."
318
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,885
- Sounds good.
What's the problem?
319
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,220
- This is it.
320
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,292
- Well, don't worry.
321
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,693
The game will probably
go into overtime.
322
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,362
You'll just be on
for a few minutes anyway.
323
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,830
Have a good one.
324
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,332
- A few minutes, Mr. Loudon.
325
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,568
- Have you seen my guest?
326
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:34,071
That's starting to hurt.
327
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,673
- Excuse me.
Mr. Loudon?
328
00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:38,009
- Uh, yes.
329
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,676
- My name
is Lloyd Menninger.
330
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,445
I'm supposed to be
your guest today.
331
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:47,584
- My guest's name
is Donald Boone.
332
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,553
- Well, apparently
Mr. Boone couldn't make it
333
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,888
and I'm supposed to be
a replacement.
334
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,490
- Oh, great.
Just what I needed.
335
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,092
- I'm sorry
if that's a problem.
336
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,160
- No, no, that's all right.
337
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,361
It's just I haven't read
your book.
338
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,363
- I have it right here.
339
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:07,271
- "Up The Amazon"
by Colonel Lloyd Menninger.
340
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,940
You're a colonel?
341
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,342
- Yes. Air Force,
but I'm retired.
342
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,312
- Oh. What's the book about?
343
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,813
- It's about
a canoe trip I took
344
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,448
up the Amazon
a couple of years ago.
345
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:18,849
- One minute, Mr. Loudon.
346
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,952
- Oh, okay. Do you think
347
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,687
you can talk about this
for 10 or 15 minutes?
348
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,357
- Oh, I can talk
about this for days.
349
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,525
- Great. Thank you.
350
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:32,296
Okay, I'll introduce you
and then I'll say,
351
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,965
tell us about
your trip, Colonel,
352
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,833
and then you take it
from there.
353
00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:36,867
- Fine.
354
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,702
- Now when I give you
your cue, read this.
355
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:44,442
In 5, 4, 3, 2...
356
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,445
- Hi. I'm Dick Loudon
and this "Book Talk."
357
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,647
For those of you who are
used to seeing Paul Frazier
358
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,183
sitting in this chair,
I should tell you
359
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,318
that Paul
has decided to leave
360
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,320
and go on
to what I'm sure will be
361
00:15:56,389 --> 00:16:01,592
an incredibly successful
career doing something else.
362
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,800
Just a personal note,
good luck, Paul.
363
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,669
This one's for you.
364
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:17,541
My guest in the studio today
is Colonel Lloyd Menninger.
365
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:21,979
He's written a fascinating book
called "Up the Amazon."
366
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:24,315
Colonel, tell us
about your trip.
367
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:25,749
- Thank you, Dick.
368
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,886
I've always been fascinated
by stories about the Amazon,
369
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,954
so when I retired
from the Air Force,
370
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,324
I arranged for some
guides and canoes
371
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,326
and after
a month of planning,
372
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,594
set out to travel
from the mouth
373
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,596
to the source of the Amazon.
374
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,333
The whole trip was a medley
of pain and pleasure.
375
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,668
- And why is that, Colonel?
376
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,938
- Well, there were times
the mosquitoes were so thick,
377
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,373
we couldn't see each other.
378
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,742
And sometimes
the air was so heavy,
379
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:54,978
we felt we were drinking it
instead of breathing it.
380
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,314
And yet the sheer spectacle
381
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:59,616
of those deep green
rainforests,
382
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,886
unspoiled by any man, was
worth every inconvenience.
383
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:06,823
- Now, did you get to
the source of the river?
384
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,492
- Not quite, Dick.
385
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,294
About five months
into the trip,
386
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,329
we decided to explore
a tributary
387
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,131
hundreds of miles
from any civilization.
388
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,967
A day or two
into this side trip,
389
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,736
we pulled the canoes
over to the bank
390
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,073
and decided to do
some exploring on foot.
391
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,475
We walked for several miles
392
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,110
when we came upon
a clearing in the jungle
393
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,546
that had some of the most
breathtaking scenery
394
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,846
I think I've ever seen.
395
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,383
- Why don't you tell us
about it, Colonel?
396
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,852
- Well, Dick, it was a
beautiful, primeval valley
397
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:39,022
filled with hundreds of
varieties of exotic vegetation,
398
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,158
and perhaps most amazing,
399
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,860
a herd
of prehistoric dinosaurs.
400
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:56,307
- Uh, what?
401
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,975
- That's right, Dick.
402
00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:01,445
Some docile brontosauri,
flying pterodactyls,
403
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,014
and, of course, the king
of these great beasts,
404
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,251
the carnivorous
tyrannosaurus rex.
405
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,120
Needless to say,
we were shocked.
406
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:14,091
Amazed...
407
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,027
Simultaneously
amazed and terrified,
408
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,829
we were torn between
running for our lives
409
00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:21,132
and running for our cameras.
[ chuckles ]
410
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,468
- Are you trying to tell us
411
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:28,739
that you found dinosaurs
in South America?
412
00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:30,241
- Correct, Dick.
413
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,143
Of course, I would not
be making these claims
414
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,410
without documented proof.
415
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:37,080
I have here an actual
un-retouched photo
416
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,750
clearly showing the existence
of these giant reptiles.
417
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:55,232
- I can't make out
anything in that photo.
418
00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:01,405
- Well, of course,
it was taken from the air.
419
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,906
- Wait a minute.
420
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,008
I thought you said you made
the trip by canoe.
421
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,912
- We did, Dick, but we were
graciously transported aloft
422
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,181
to take this photograph
423
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,849
by the extraterrestrials
who live in the area.
424
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,529
- Extraterrestrials?
425
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,599
- That's right. They are
actually ball-shaped
426
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,668
and communicate
through telepathy.
427
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:39,577
- Don't go away...
428
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,745
Not that you would.
429
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:47,918
We'll be right back after
this word from our sponsor.
430
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:50,187
- And we're into commercial.
431
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:52,623
- Right. Okay, break.
Good, Dick.
432
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,758
Michael Harris.
433
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,627
Terrific.
- Thank you.
434
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,596
- Can we get makeup here?
435
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:01,732
- Michael, could I talk
to you for a second?
436
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,101
- After the show, Dick.
437
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:05,236
- Just look at the monitor,
Dick.
438
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:06,570
I'll cue you
when the commercial's over.
439
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,573
- Hi, friends. Kirk Devane,
owner of the Minuteman Cafe.
440
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,074
How much would you pay
441
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,510
for this delicious, juicy,
all-beef hamburger patty
442
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,713
on a wonderful
white bread bun?
443
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,047
Well, don't answer yet.
444
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:20,251
What if I threw in
a very green lettuce leaf,
445
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,419
an entire onion slice,
446
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:26,257
and some, mm-mmm,
lip-smacking pickles?
447
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,758
Now how much would you pay?
448
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:29,627
Well, don't say anything
because at the Minuteman,
449
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,562
we also give you
your choice of condiments,
450
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,298
mustard or catsup.
451
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:38,302
Now you might expect
to pay as much $15 or $20
452
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,103
for a meal like this
at some restaurants.
453
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,838
But at the Minuteman,
454
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:45,075
the monster meal on a bun
is only $3.29.
455
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:48,812
You heard me right, $3.29.
456
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,915
And they are irresistible.
457
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:55,085
Why, this lady here...
turn around...
458
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:58,989
is on her fourth burger.
459
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,691
Yes, a perfectly
attractive woman
460
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:05,929
willing to eat herself
into obesity for my burger.
461
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,264
And you will too
462
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,433
once you've had
a monster meal on a bun
463
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:12,536
at Kirk Devane's Minuteman Cafe
next door to the Stratford Inn,
464
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,371
owned by your "Book Talk"
host, Dick Loudon.
465
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,541
Back to you, Dick.
466
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,777
- We're back.
Cue, Dick.
467
00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:28,385
- We're talking with retired Air
Force Colonel Lloyd Menninger,
468
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:33,791
who has written his book
called, "Up the Amazon,"
469
00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:42,533
in which he purports to have
seen dinosaurs and aliens
470
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,234
living somewhere in Brazil.
471
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:51,041
Colonel, uh, I'm sure
that you'll have to admit
472
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:53,877
that you've made some
extraordinary claims.
473
00:21:53,946 --> 00:22:00,217
And at the risk
of sounding realistic,
474
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:05,088
it seems to me that
if there were dinosaurs
475
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,325
and alien beings
on the banks of the Amazon,
476
00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:11,161
we would have heard
about it before this.
477
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:14,998
- Well, not from me, Dick.
478
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,933
I've been in hiding.
479
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,069
- Hiding?
480
00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:20,571
- Correct, Dick.
481
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:22,573
The government
is trying to kill me.
482
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,975
Obviously, when I say
government,
483
00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:26,877
I mean specifically the CIA.
484
00:22:26,945 --> 00:22:28,779
They know that if this
information were to get out,
485
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,113
it would panic the public.
486
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:34,785
- But you're not hiding now.
487
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,987
- Well, Dick, I didn't
feel I could pass up
488
00:22:37,055 --> 00:22:38,922
an opportunity to speak
on television.
489
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:42,726
I've been trying for months to
tell my story over the airwaves,
490
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:45,496
but as we all know,
the three major networks
491
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,831
as well as PBS
and most cable channels
492
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,701
are now controlled
by the Soviet Union.
493
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:06,049
- Okay. I'm afraid that's all
the time we have for today.
494
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,350
- Four more minutes, Dick.
495
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,787
- Not for me, pal.
496
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:18,128
This is Dick Loudon for
"Book Talk" saying goodbye,
497
00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:21,465
and please
try to forget this.
498
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:30,474
- And how long have you
been in the KGB, Dick?
499
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:08,345
- Meow.
37147
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