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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:05,884
Okay, so, how did
we do this quarter?
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,655
Bad, horrible, or
3
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,659
do I have to go to third base
4
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,711
to keep our electricity on
again?
5
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,058
Probably all three.
6
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,097
I don't know yet.
7
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:16,672
Oh!
8
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,628
Will you sit there?
You're making me nervous.
9
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:22,407
I feel like I'm reading another
one of your pregnancy tests.
10
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:26,593
I'm sorry, Barb, but I just
can't make any less money, okay?
11
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,681
I'm already using
generic pregnancy tests.
12
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,210
Which I think are
just Popsicle sticks.
13
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,766
Yeah, I guess that explains
14
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:36,692
why there are riddles
printed on them.
15
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,209
Hmm. That can't be right.
16
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,744
I must have made a mistake.
17
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:43,127
Oh.
We're in the black.
18
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,960
Oh, the black!
19
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,657
I knew it! It's over.
20
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,605
Okay, well, then,
I'm just gonna have
21
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,493
to pull Ritchie out
of private school,
22
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,485
and we'll live
in my Prius.
23
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:55,357
Oh, God,
I hope I'm not pregnant.
24
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:59,799
No. I keep telling you--
black is the best there is.
25
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,980
Uh, Barb, I-I don't think
you're supposed to say that.
26
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,757
No. We made money.
27
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,903
For the first time
in five years,
28
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:12,245
we can actually
cut ourselves a paycheck.
29
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,766
A paycheck?!
30
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,079
Oh!
31
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,946
Hey, Barb,
if you are messing with me,
32
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:19,637
you better tell me right now,
33
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,954
because I don't think
I could handle it.
34
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,391
I'm-I'm serious.
35
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:24,607
Ready for how much?
36
00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:25,606
Huh?
37
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,087
Each of us is getting...
38
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,387
$2,000!
39
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:29,832
[screams]
Oh!
40
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:30,658
Shut up!
41
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:31,915
Oh, you shut up!
42
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,567
I love this job!I love this job!
43
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,621
I love you, Barb.
44
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:35,786
I love you, Christine.
45
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,141
You know what this is?
46
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,710
This is our
screw-you money
47
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,537
for all those people who
said we couldn't do it!
48
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,615
Screw you, Christine!
49
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:42,673
Screw you, Barb!
50
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,367
[laughter]
51
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,145
Oh, my God, we are
successful businesswomen.
52
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,979
Ah!
53
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,847
I know exactly what I'm going
to do with my money, too.
54
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,589
Ernest and Julio Gallo are going
55
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,250
to be jumping up and down
in their office, too.
56
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,895
No, I'm not gonna buy wine.
57
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,549
I'm gonna buy a dress.
58
00:01:58,553 --> 00:01:59,683
Yeah.
59
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:01,604
I've had my eye on it forever.
60
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:02,599
It's insane.
61
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,340
It's Dior.
62
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,431
And it's $2,000.
63
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:07,950
And I'm getting it.
64
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,873
Hmm. $2,000 for a dress?
65
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,868
Wow. For that kind of money,
that dress better do for you
66
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:16,051
what you do
for the electricity guy.
67
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,658
Seriously, you should see
this dress.
68
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,699
It's elegant.
It's sophisticated.
69
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:22,624
It makes my boobs
look ginormous.
70
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,190
[laughs]
71
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,227
I think I'm going
to give mine to charity.
72
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,503
[laughs]
73
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,761
That's a good one.
74
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,110
And by charity,
what do you mean, the track?
75
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,551
Do you know how far
$2,000 could go?
76
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,678
For $2,000, I could build a well
77
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:42,071
and provide water
for an entire village.
78
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:48,079
I don't want
to give my money to charity.
79
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,650
You don't have to.
80
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,687
Yeah, but if you do,
then I'm gonna feel
81
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,563
like a bad person
for buying the dress.
82
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,134
Look, I'm not judging you.
83
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,701
You can do whatever you want
with your money.
84
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,218
Yes, you are.
You're always judging me.
85
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,051
Every time you read one
of my pregnancy tests,
86
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,439
you're filled with judgment.
87
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:04,662
That's not judgment.
That's disgust.
88
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:08,282
Hold the damn stick yourself.
89
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:11,095
You can't make me feel bad
about getting the dress, Barb.
90
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,373
I'm not trying to.
91
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:13,366
Well, I don't.
92
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,237
Well, you shouldn't.
93
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,407
Screw you, Barb.
94
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,412
Screw you, Christine.
95
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,603
Hey.
96
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,987
I just got a strange phone
call from New Christine,
97
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,651
and I'm a little
freaked out.
98
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:34,475
I've got $2,000 in my bra.
99
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,645
I think Richard is
up to something.
100
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,312
Am I a bad person?
101
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,256
Yes. You never listen
to what anybody says.
102
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,664
Barb thinks I'm a bad person.
103
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,088
I think Richard's
having an affair.
104
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,664
Just because
I don't give money to charity?
105
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,971
I am talking.
106
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,227
Oh, I'm sorry.
107
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,840
I was listening.
Okay.
108
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,020
So, why do you think
Richard is going to the fair?
109
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,237
Richard told New Christine
110
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,187
that he and I were
going to the movies,
111
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,894
and then she called me
112
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,631
because she wanted him to
bring her some Sno-Caps.
113
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:02,722
Oh, I hate Sno-Caps.
114
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,420
You know what I love?
115
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,858
I love that giant turkey leg
that you get at the fair.
116
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,376
Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
117
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,549
You were talking.
118
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,604
Okay, I'm listening.
119
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,250
Don't you get it?
120
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,654
Richard and I had no plan
to go to the movies.
121
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,076
I think he's
having an affair.
122
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,132
No. Richard doesn't
have affairs.
123
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,297
He couldn't handle it.
124
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,562
He's a horrible liar.
125
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,264
You can always tell he's lying
126
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,052
because he repeats
your questions back to you.
127
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,266
It's a dead giveaway.
128
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,605
No. He probably just forgot
129
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:28,274
he wasn't going to the movies.
130
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,838
I mean, you know,
at his age, you forget things.
131
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,965
[gasps]
Where is my $2,000?
132
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:41,146
Hey, guys.
Hey.
133
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,110
Ritchie, do you think
I'm a bad person?
134
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,808
Yeah.
135
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:50,860
So, Richard, where
are you going tonight?
136
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,075
Where am I going tonight? Work.
137
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,635
You know,
New Christine called me today.
138
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,342
Did you tell her
we were going to the movies?
139
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,339
Did I tell her we were going
to the movies? No.
140
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,521
Why are you repeating everything
he says?
141
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,427
Why am I repeating
everything he says? I'm not.
142
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:06,043
Are you lying?
Am I lying?
143
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:06,874
Is he lying?
144
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,831
I got to go.
145
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,658
Oh, yeah, he's lying, all right.
146
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,660
Well, what are we going to do?
147
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,401
I don't know.
148
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:19,012
I mean, on the one hand,
I really want to buy that dress,
149
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,714
and then on the other hand,
150
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,851
I really want to go
to the fair.
151
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,592
Well, thank you
for seeing me, Father.
152
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,291
Oh, please don't call me Father.
153
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:33,458
Oh.
154
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,903
Sorry.
155
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,679
Daddy.
156
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:39,774
Pastor Ed is fine.
157
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:43,474
Actually, anything...
other than Daddy.
158
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,128
What brings you here?
159
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,259
You haven't been to church
in over three years.
160
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,441
Oh, that's not true.
161
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,657
Oh, I've been here.
162
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:52,785
I sit in the back.
163
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:53,957
I've-I've seen
164
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:57,662
a lot of your sermons on, um...
165
00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:01,671
um... God.
166
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,055
And, um... Mary.
167
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,244
[clicks tongue]
168
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:09,886
Okay, so...
169
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,981
That pretty much covers it.
170
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,900
Um, what's going on?
171
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,196
Well, I'm in the middle
of a spiritual crisis,
172
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,292
and I'm having a really
tough time.
Hmm.
173
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,821
And, um, is this the part
174
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,685
where you bring me some
of that wine?
175
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,856
No.
176
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,262
No? Oh.
177
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,865
Well... [clears throat]
178
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:31,085
I recently came into
some screw-you money.
179
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:36,435
Please don't tell me
how you came into the money.
180
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:39,139
There's this dress
that I really love.
181
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,437
Have you ever loved anything
so much
182
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,884
that you'd be willing
to give up everything for it?
183
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:46,011
Well.
184
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,625
Really? That outfit?
185
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:53,056
What's your question, Christine?
186
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,244
Does it make me a bad person
187
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,900
if I spend the money on myself
instead of giving it to charity?
188
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:01,896
I would say you should do
what your heart tells you to do.
189
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:04,899
Well, my heart has made some
pretty bad decisions in my life.
190
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,642
My heart thought
it was a good idea
191
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,993
to go backstage
at the Peter Frampton concert.
192
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,913
Thankfully,
it was pre-Internet so...
193
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,869
only four people saw
what happened.
194
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,868
I can't listen
to that story again.
195
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:19,261
It challenges my faith.
196
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:22,924
Can-Can you just tell me
what to do about the dress?
197
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,270
It's important for you
to find your own way.
198
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,010
What do you think you should do?
199
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,491
Well, I don't think
that I should feel guilty
200
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,972
about spending the money
on myself.
201
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,152
I never do that.
202
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,407
I deserve it.
203
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,849
Do you think I deserve it?
204
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,795
What do you think you deserve?
205
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,634
Well, for one,
206
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:41,902
a public apology from
Peter Frampton's bass player.
207
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:45,246
For two, a return phone call
from the drummer.
208
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,817
For three, I...Christine!
209
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:50,855
I think you know
what the right answer is.
210
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:53,121
I do.
211
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:57,216
I guess I've always known.
212
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,574
Hi, there.
213
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,138
Uh, do you still have
that fuchsia Dior dress?
214
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,525
Oh, no.
215
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,958
You're going to
get me in trouble.
216
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,494
My manager said
I wasn't allowed
217
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,098
to let you see
the dress again.
218
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,488
Or dance with it.
219
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,061
No, no, I'm not here
to dance with it.
220
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,838
I'm here to buy it.
221
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:18,853
That's a $2,000 dress, and
pardon me for saying so,
222
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:22,106
but you don't really seem like
a $2,000 dress kind of girl.
223
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,760
Yeah. No, I'm not,
224
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,554
but I figure
it'll pay for itself.
225
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,028
I'll look so good in it,
226
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,288
I'll get free electricity
for a year.
227
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,551
I don't want to know
what that means.
228
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,169
Hi, Christine.
229
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,561
What's with all the singles?
230
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,134
Oh, are you stripping now?
231
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,921
No.
232
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,876
I'm not stripping.
233
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,955
Why? Do you think I could strip?
234
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,054
What are you doing
in a nice store?
235
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,663
And if you're thinking
of stealing,
236
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,973
there are more cameras in here
than a Vegas casino.
237
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,580
They will catch you.
238
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,890
Yeah, even if the
face cream accidentally
239
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,056
falls into your purse.
240
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,061
It was an accident.
241
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:05,243
And it made me feel alive.
242
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,890
No, I'm not here to steal.
243
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,814
I'm here to buy.
244
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,289
Oh, I don't think they sell
your brands at this store.Uh-uh.
245
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,419
My brands? I don't have a brand.
246
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,212
I got this at the
Farmer's Market.
247
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,946
Hmm.
No.
248
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,597
I'm here for the Dior dress.
249
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,341
I recently came into some money.
250
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:21,822
I decided to treat myself.
251
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,262
Yeah. There's nothing wrong
with that.
252
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,128
That doesn't make me
a bad person.
253
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:27,089
I mean, I'm sure you don't give
all your money to charity.
254
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,348
All of it?
255
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,180
Oh, no, we don't
give any of it.
256
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,878
I mean, you give
people money,
257
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,695
they have no motivation
to do anything for themselves.
258
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,923
I say, get off your butt
and get a job.
259
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,273
Yeah. Besides,
you give people money,
260
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:39,012
they just use it
for drugs and alcohol.
261
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,583
What do you use it for?
262
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,890
Prescription drugs
and alcohol.
263
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,406
Well, and pretty clothes.
264
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,889
And small dogs.
265
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,019
And bail.
266
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,850
I'm bored here.
Mm.
267
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,031
I feel like this conversation
has been charity.
268
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:52,936
Let's go grab
some lunch.
269
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,330
Okay.
270
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:57,677
Okay, here it is.
271
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,954
And how would you like
to pay for this?
272
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,947
Keep in mind,
we don't take Mobil.
273
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,949
Oh. No, no, no.
I have cash.
274
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,651
A big wad of cash.
275
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,558
It's a little wet
from being in my bra, but...
276
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,174
[laughs]
277
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,964
I-I worked for it, you know.
278
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,349
It's mine. I can do
what I want with it.
279
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,052
Great. I will
ring you up.
280
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,660
Uh, no, I can't.
281
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,530
Ugh! I just won't feel good
about myself.
282
00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:20,841
So, I'm putting it back?
283
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,137
No. You know what?
284
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,673
I'll take it.
285
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,886
I don't feel good
about myself anyway.
286
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:26,886
Okay.
287
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,147
Oh, forget it.
288
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,799
Seriously?
No. I'll take it.
289
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,373
Really?
No.
290
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:35,499
Can I just have
one dance with it?
291
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:39,814
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh.
292
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,385
Matthew!
293
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,183
Wig!
294
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,698
What are you doing here?
295
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,752
I followed you.
Why?
296
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,488
Because I know you're lying
to New Christine.
297
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,968
What's going on?
Are you living a double life?
298
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:07,798
Do you have another family here
in Chatsworth?
299
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:11,147
Because if you do,
take me with you.
300
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,984
I think you're going
to be very proud of me.
301
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:19,939
You made it in before lunch.
I am proud of you.
302
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,940
Look at what I bought
with my money.
303
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:26,344
That is not okay, Christine.
304
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,907
No, no, I'm sponsoring her.
305
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,946
Her name is Anjelica.
306
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:33,742
And she lives in Guatemala.
307
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,126
And before me she didn't have
clean water to drink
308
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,390
or a bed to sleep in,
309
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:42,143
but now because of my $2,000,
that's all going to change.
310
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:45,266
I'm-I'm good, Barb.
311
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:50,271
Yes... we... can.
312
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,934
Why did you do that?
313
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,930
Oh, you inspired me.
314
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:57,542
What is that smell?
315
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,022
Well, you inspired me
a little bit, too.
316
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,367
I used my money
317
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:05,553
to buy a professional
popcorn machine.
318
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,990
What?
319
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,117
It's the same kind
the movies use.
320
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,039
What-what happened to charity?
321
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,465
Okay, before you go judging me,
322
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,472
there's something
you should know.
323
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:19,484
It also makes caramel corn.
324
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,874
[scoffs]
325
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,922
You said you were going
to buy a well
326
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,268
for the village.
327
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,097
Well...
328
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,835
I bought a popcorn machine
for my tummy.
329
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,009
I love it so much.
330
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,804
I call it Albert.
331
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,849
This is unbelievable.
332
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,665
You knew how much
I wanted that dress
333
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,542
and you made me feel
like a bad person.
334
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,814
You know what would make
you feel better?
335
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,327
A big tub of buttery popcorn.
336
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,941
No, Barb.
337
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,953
There is a difference
between right and wrong
338
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,815
and one of us
knows what it is.
339
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,596
Father, would it
be wrong of me
340
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:59,130
to stop payment on a check
to charity?
341
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,475
So, your question for me is:
can you cancel a check
342
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,664
that you wrote to help feed
an orphan in Guatemala
343
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,490
so you can buy a dress?
344
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:17,488
Well, no, not just an orphan,
an entire village.
345
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:21,372
And not just a dress,
a Dior dress.
346
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:22,845
Christine, I know
you don't need me
347
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,755
to tell you
the right thing to do.
348
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,680
Why can't they just get off
their butts and get a job?
349
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,416
Okay, apparently, you do.
350
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:31,717
Um, think about what
you're saying for a minute,
351
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,733
and you tell me
what you think you should do.
352
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,505
Buy the dress.
353
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,550
Dig deeper.
354
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,994
Turn the other cheek?
355
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,472
Not relevant.
356
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,386
Whatever decision I make
357
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,908
will be the right one for me?
358
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,222
I know you can do this.
359
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,607
Look into your soul.
360
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:52,480
There are no wrong answers here.
361
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,573
Christine, everyone has to live
with the choices they make.
362
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,752
And you are going to have
to live with yours.
363
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,929
Gotcha.
364
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,323
Hi, I'm back.
365
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,890
Good grief.
366
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,497
I see you more
than I see my own kid.
367
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:10,498
I came back to buy the dress.
368
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:13,461
I'm on a mission from God.
369
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,381
The dress is gone.
370
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,551
Uh, please tell me
what you mean is
371
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:23,304
that the dress is gone
to look for me.
372
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,997
I sold the one in your size
an hour ago.
373
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,995
Oh, no. Why me?
374
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:31,037
Why do bad things happen
to good people?
375
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:33,964
You know, an entire village
gave up their water
376
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,960
for this.
377
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,532
What? No, look.
378
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,878
There's one
right there.
379
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,708
That's a size zero.
380
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,021
What-what are you saying?
381
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:49,236
Um, I'm saying
382
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:52,666
that you're more
than a size zero.
383
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,588
How dare you?
384
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:59,721
You have no idea what size I am.
385
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,075
Ha!
386
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:05,246
I told you it would fit.
387
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,912
I am a total zero.
388
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,947
Yes.
389
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,611
Yes, you are.
390
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,566
Wait, so you're not
having an affair?
391
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,176
No, I work here.
392
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,787
And I can't stand around
talking to you.
393
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:20,747
I'm going to get fired.
394
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,525
The only thing more embarrassing
than working at the Suit Barn
395
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,320
is getting fired
from the Suit Barn.
396
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:26,745
Here.
397
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,711
I'm going to have
to measure you.
398
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,578
So, what-what's with the hair?
399
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:37,633
Guys who buy cheap suits tend to
trust guys who wear cheap hair.
400
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:40,552
Tell me, uh, where do you
wear your pants?
401
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:41,638
I don't know, to work.
402
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,286
To the movies.
403
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,550
No, where on your waist?
404
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,513
Never mind, never mind.
Stand up straight.
405
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,561
Wait, uh, why
do you work here?
406
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,557
Well, the construction business
is horrible now.
407
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,339
Things were already tight
with New Christine
408
00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:55,173
cutting back on her hours
with the baby coming.
409
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:56,961
Stop. Stand still.Oh, sorry.
410
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,866
And then the transmission
went out on my truck.
411
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:01,000
So, I had to get a second job
so I could afford to fix it.
412
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,353
Why lie about it?
413
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:04,052
Why not tell New Christine
the truth?
414
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,570
Because she would have insisted
on going back to work.
415
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:06,533
I can take care of my family,
Matthew.
416
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,450
That's my job.
417
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,445
That and putting a man in a
good quality suit for less.
418
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,577
And I'm not the kind of man
419
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,540
who runs away from his
responsibilities.
420
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,148
Wow, I mean...
421
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,070
Sorry.
422
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,065
I've never seen this side
of you before.
423
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,287
The noble tailor.
424
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,416
Well.You're like Fiddler
on the Roof.
425
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,340
I'm a very proud man.
426
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,245
Huh, you really are.
427
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,950
I think your pride is
slipping a little bit.Oh.
428
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,992
My manager's
watching us.
429
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,264
Okay, arms up.
Oh.
430
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,646
Stand still.
431
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:41,569
33... 33...
432
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,515
33.
433
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:46,224
Can that be right?
434
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,402
It's right.
435
00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:51,269
I'll tell you what.
436
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,711
I'll keep your secret
if you'll keep mine.
437
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:58,539
Well, we did
the right thing.
438
00:16:58,539 --> 00:16:59,709
Yep.
439
00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:01,544
Next time we get a paycheck
440
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:04,552
we can give it to charity.
441
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,715
Or get a churro machine.
442
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,635
Why are you walking
like that?
443
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,301
I'm a little bloated
from the salt.
444
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,645
My feet are the
size of canoes
445
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:22,737
and my knees don't
bend anymore.
446
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,567
What are you wearing?
447
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,048
You look ridiculous.
448
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,178
I look ridiculous?
449
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,529
Let's see you try and sit down.
450
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,748
What?
451
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:34,747
You don't sit in couture.
452
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:37,579
It ruins the line.
453
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,708
Hey, Barb, corn me.
454
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,365
So, what'd you find out
about Richard?
455
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,419
Did you figure out where
he was sneaking off to?
456
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:49,805
What is it? Gambling?
457
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:51,807
Women? Drinking?
458
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,419
Kettle Corn?
459
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,810
I can't tell you.
460
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,553
Oh, my God!
461
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:58,824
Oh, he is cheating!
462
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:01,116
That lying bastard.
463
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,953
Hey, don't you talk about him
like that, okay.
464
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,561
He's a good man.
465
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:07,351
He is more man
than any of us will ever be.
466
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,217
What's the matter with you?
467
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,258
Richard's not having an affair.
468
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:14,964
He's wearing a wig and selling
cheap suits in Chatsworth.
469
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,705
I guess he needed money
470
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,225
to fix the transmission
on his truck.
471
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,228
He made me promise
not to tell anyone.
472
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,880
Because he's proud.
473
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,934
Proud? God.
474
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,629
He had me hit him in the nuts
with a Wiffle ball
475
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:30,758
to get on America's
Funniest Home Video.
476
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:34,501
So that he could win money
to support his family
477
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,594
because he's proud.
478
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,603
Yeah, well, I don't
feel bad for him.
479
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,155
Everybody makes
their own choices.
480
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,692
They have to live
with the consequences.
481
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,205
It's like what they tell you
in church:
482
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,209
you reap what you sow.
483
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,212
[dress tearing]
484
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,224
Ha, ha!
485
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,036
[gagging]
486
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,657
Okay, I usually try
to let people
487
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,619
find their own way
in these situations,
488
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:01,967
but I'm going to be very clear.
489
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,396
You get rid of the dress.
490
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:04,583
You get rid of
the popcorn machine.
491
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,408
Do it now.
492
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,496
Turn your lives around or
you're both going to hell.
493
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,413
Hey, Barb,
you want some?
494
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,073
It's not the same.
495
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:19,637
Well, maybe next quarter
will be good, too,
496
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,636
and we can buy
another popcorn machine.
497
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,639
No, it's better
that it's gone.
498
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,641
I had to saw one
of my rings off.
499
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:30,604
So what made you decide to give
everything to charity?
500
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,084
Eh, what makes anyone
do the right thing?
501
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,744
Fear of going to hell.
502
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,568
So, who'd you
give it to?
503
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:38,997
We're not telling.
504
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,623
True charity
is anonymous.
505
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:44,175
You guys,
506
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,923
I experienced a miracle today.
507
00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:49,414
Your hair grew back.
508
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,930
I went to the garage
to pick up my truck,
509
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,761
and when I tried to pay the guy,
510
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,719
he said that it had already
been taken care of
511
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,588
by an anonymous benefactor.
512
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,199
Wow. You're kidding.
513
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,590
That is so weird.
514
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,252
Who would have done that?
515
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,247
I have a pretty
good idea.
516
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,159
You know, I was actually
working a second job
517
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,124
to get that thing fixed.
518
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,602
But now I can quit and spend
more time with New Christine.
519
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,613
Thanks, man.
520
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,775
You're welcome.
521
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:20,444
No! No!
522
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,526
He didn't do it. I did it.
523
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,175
Christine, that's low.
524
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,569
Even for you.
525
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,623
Oh, great.
526
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:31,578
You take the credit,
I get nothing.
527
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:34,278
Not nothing.
528
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:37,276
Look how cute little
Anjelica looks
in your dress.
529
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:41,464
Yeah, she's a true size zero.
530
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:44,587
God, she's so lucky.
531
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:49,339
You are a good person.
34402
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