All language subtitles for Hard.Rock.Medical.S01E01.Q.and.Eh.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-HardRockHouse_track3_[eng]

It's okay, mate.

You'll get through this.

What are we looking
for in an applicant

to this medical school? Hm.

In a word, different.

Why different?

Well, it's no
secret we have trouble

keeping doctors
here in the North.

My colleagues and I
will be considering candidates

that are perhaps
a little bit older,

more mature.

I'm torn, Daffy Duck

or Ren and Stimpy tattoo.

Who have the stomach
for doing things differently.

Our students are going to
need to be up to the challenge

of practicing medicine
in the bow of a canoe,

or 5,000 feet below ground.

And
how do you do that?

Well, you put them
in the bow of a canoe,

or take them
5,000 feet underground.

How do you
find the right candidates?

Hmm, you ask a lot of questions.

- What is--
- Why would--

- Where were your--
- What makes you--

- What would--
- What if--

- Why would you--
- Who would--

What is your name?

Excuse me.

What?

This isn't a park bench.

Oh, right. Sorry.

So what happened?
Is it broken?

I thought I might have torn
my tibiofibular ligament,

but luckily it's only
a grade one ankle sprain

with a microscopic tear
of the collagen fibers.

I'm glad we got that sorted out.

So what's your excuse?

Me? Food poisoning.

Or, if we're playing that game,

staphylococcus aureus.

Sounds more like
acetaldehyde poisoning.

Or if we're playing that game,
a hangover.

Really, doctor...?

- Truscott.
- Hmm.

And what do you base
that armchair opinion on?

I can smell
the booze on you from here.

It's Listerine.

And if we're still
playing that game,

antiseptic mouthwash.

You might want to
hydrate a little.

The last thing you want
for the next eight hours

of questioning is a dry throat.

Actually, charred toast
is good for food poisoning,

acts as a carbon slurry,

neutralizes
the toxins inside you.

And what medical
journal is that from?

It's not from a medical journal.

It's a- got it from
a friend of mine.

Used to work at
a waste-water treatment plant.

Wow. He's right.

Any other questions?

Describe yourself
with a four-letter word.

- Hoot.
- Star.

- Hunk.
- Busy.

- Busy.
- Cool.

- Fire.
- Calm.

- Hope.
- Great.

You guys mind if I
sketch while we talk?

What citrus fruit
embodies your personality?

- Grapefruit.
- Pomelo.

- Cumquat.
- Citrus Deliciosa.

It's a Mediterranean mandarin.

I would liken
my personality to more

- of a fruit basket.
- Lime.

- Tangelo.
- Amanatsu.

- Minneola.
- Ugli fruit?

What is something
you've tried recently

- for the first time?
- Sky-diving.

- I recently just pierced my--
- Cow's tongue.

- Actually, not that bad.
- Skateboarding with my niece.

That's how I sprained my ankle.

I'm weight-bearing,
but not tender

over the medial
or lateral malleolus.

Otherwise healthy.

- How do you handle stress?
- I draw.

- How do you handle criticism?
- Professional criticism?

Constructive? Self-scrutiny?

What kind are we talking about?

I see you were a nurse.
Why a doctor now?

I know a lot of nurses
who would be kick-ass doctors,

but I don't know
too many doctors

who would be kick-ass nurses.

No offense.

How do you handle
blood and gore?

With nitrile gloves.

What's your relationship
with your family?

Strained.
You know how family can get.

What is your
solution to terrorism?

I would never presume to
have a solution for terrorism.

Aren't you Eva Malone?

As in [sings] "Call my name.

"Did I hear you call my name?"

Number 12, Billboard's
country chart, 2001?

For about 15 minutes.
Well, yeah. Wow.

Skydiggers,
Blue Rodeo, Eva Malone.

Man, that was a crazy concert.

- You were there?
- Yeah.

That was a fun weekend.

Hey, whatever happened to Kyle,
your guitar player?

Man, that guy had crazy fingers.

Well, the last
time I talked to him,

he was still trying to put a
band together and hit the road.

So what made you
want to switch gears

and become a doctor?

Oh, probably
the same reasons you did.

Hm. Job security.

What were your
two favorite subjects in school?

Drama and biochemistry.

- How do you relax?
- I draw.

What do you think of authority?

A judge once dismissed my case
because I was 45 seconds late.

I can't tell you how many judges
have a god complex.

What does the word
"success" mean to you?

Living life on your own terms.

Medicine is
a male-dominated profession.

- How would you change it?
- By becoming a doctor.

What would
alleviate the problems

found on
the Aboriginal reserves?

How long have you got?

A lot of people
with previous lives.

Yeah.

Boy, being a doctor

would make a heck of
a second career, wouldn't it?

So, what did you used to do?

- I was a teacher.
- Oh.

But I think I'm
destined for greater things.

- Nice.
- You?

Nurse for 20 years.

- Really?
- Uh-huh.

You look so young-ish.

Forty-two, two kids,

first and second year
of university. Yup.

Most empty-nesters
find a hobby to fill that void.

Well, you know,
I did actually think

about becoming
a professional curler,

but then I thought, you know,
I think that being a doctor

would be just
a little bit more rewarding.

That's a joke, right?

Yes, that's a joke.

Forest fires are burning,

and you need to
evacuate your family home

knowing you may
never see it again.

You can take three things.

Outside of your family,
what would they be?

My laptop, a sculpture
I bought in France

which was done
by one of Rodin's apprentices,

and my insurance policy

in case I'm suspiciously
no longer on record.

Clean underwear,
my toothbrush, and my Xbox.

My neighbor's house
burnt down when I was a kid.

I'm sorry to hear that.

My Harley, my kids'
hand molds that they made

when they were two,
and an autographed

Guy Lafleur hockey puck
that my old man gave me.

They lived with us for a year
while it was being rebuilt.

Your parents were very kind.

My limited edition
Wells Fargo train set,

my Han Solo lunchbox,
and my telescope.

It has a 5-inch
refractor that allows you

to see the California nebulae,

located in
the constellation Perseus.

I ride a Harley.
What model do you have?

2000 Dyna Wide.

Didn't you say you had a dog?

Well, yeah,
but he's, like, 15, so...

So why would
your bike be at risk

if your house was on fire?

I used to keep it
in one of the bedrooms,

but now,
with three kids, you know,

I had to move it
to the living room.

We have sliding
doors in the back.

So if I had to take three things

outside of my family,

it'd be courage, strength,

and humility.

So how's that
working out for you?

Needs butter.

But starting to feel better,

thanks to
old man with the beard.

So are you from Australia?

Thirty-two hours
in the air from Melbourne,

and I tell ya, between
the feculent chicken curry

and the jet-lag,

well, better days ahead.

Eva Malone,

Wide River First Nation.

Gary Frazier, Greythorne.

Greythorne?

Is that your rez?

That's my hood.

Are you Aboriginal?

No. Are you?

Yeah.

If you could invite
three people for dinner,

- who would they be?
- Easy. Joan of Arc,

Nelson Mandela, JFK.

Albert Einstein, Galileo,
and Sir Isaac Newton.

Al Capone, Jesus, and

Kurt Cobain.
I've got a question for him.

Da Vinci, Vesalius,
and Bugs Bunny.

My cousin Lucy,
my best friend Emma--

Famous people, love.

Well, they are famous
where I come from.

I mean, I certainly don't have
your experience in medicine,

but when I was in
life sciences at UofT,

I was part of a research program

to find a cure for
systemic Lupus Erythematosus

and how to elucidate the
role the apoptotic cells play

in the etiopathogenesis of SLE.
What about you?

Just run of the mill
stuff you come across

being a cardiac nurse.

Post-cardiac surgery issues

and early postoperative
mobilization.

Tracheostomy,
post cardiac surgery

with concomitant
respiratory failure.

Blah-blah-blah.

If you have the choice
of giving a transplant

to a successful elderly
member of the community

or a 20-year-old drug addict,

who would you choose?

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

- What type of transplant?
- Heart.

The 20-year-old drug addict.

Well, I would probably
choose the 20-year-old

because he still has
a future, but then again,

I'd like to preserve
the wisdom of the elder.

Well, I don't know of any
20-year-olds becoming president.

Mind you, Clinton did smoke pot,

and from what I hear,
Trudeau did as well.

- What kind of drug addict?
- The 20-year-old drug addict.

I mean, the heart's
a new lease on life for him.

What if that elder
was your grandparent?

What if that
drug addict was your brother?

Elder.

An elder could save
20 drug addicts,

but 20 drug addicts
couldn't save one elder.

So, you're a Cahill.

Is that as in Jason Cahill,
the CEO of Minec--

Yeah. He's my father.

Oh, wow.

Guess you won't have
any trouble getting in.

He sits on the board.

I haven't seen
my father in five years.

I doubt he'll be putting
a good word in for me.

What makes you think
you could be a doctor?

If you were a cookie,

what kind of cookie
would you be?

Like, seriously?

My answer to that question
is supposed to let them know

what kind of doctor
I'm gonna be?

Didn't you do any research
before you got here?

- What did you say?
- Bacon and molasses.

Nice going, Dr. Kervorkian.

You do know that that answer
is going to tell them what kind

of cardiovascular condition
you're gonna have.

It's not really bacon,
it's actually the bacon fat.

Ugh.

And when does
your heart stop beating?

Whenever you enter
a room, darling.

- Oh, stop.
- Oh, that's so sweet.

Maybe you should
be a sugar cookie.

Sorry, I called
that one already.

You?

You do know that
sugar is sweet, right?

A pleasant thing?

So what did you say, Gina?
Gina?

I think I gave the wrong answer.

A fortune cookie.

And what would that fortune be?

We make a living by what we get.

We make a life by what we give.

Nice going.

You nailed it, girl.

Teach me how to do
something step by step.

Can I use a prop?

- By all means.
- Dr. Helvi?

Oh.

Your left hand
up on my shoulder,

your right hand
pressing against mine.

Bit of tension.
Feel that? Chest up.

Okay.

First, you place
the baby on the change table.

First you make sure that
all the pieces are in place.

Left foot forward.

Take the rice, and then
you take the lemon juice.

Pull back the tab.

You hold one end
firmly in your hand.

Then you take your Halal meat.

Grab ahold of its feet
with one hand, lift.

Left foot back, right foot back.

Exposing the buttocks.

You stuff it.

Right foot switch across.

Take the legs and you tie.

The rope in the middle,
you form a bight.

Take your scalpel
and make an incision

down the center of the chest.

Attach the bottom
front tack of the mainsail.

The wood plugs,
and you insert them

into the panels.

Feet together.

- Fluff out a diaper.
- Open up the sternum.

Then loop backwards.

Slide it underneath
the buttocks.

Loop the same length.

- Through the hole.
- Forwards.

- Right foot back.
- Known as the eyelet.

Suture back the sternum
using the Vicryl method.

Let out the main sheets.

Tighten the nuts
on each of the corners.

- Pull the tabs on both sides.
- Wrap the loops.

- Put it in a grape leaf.
- And you put it in the oven.

- Left foot across.
- Push the ends up.

- Pull it back down.
- Roll.

- To the catchy bit.
- Sail into the wind.

- And we dip!
- That's how you diaper a baby.

- Roast a turkey.
- Do open-heart surgery.

- Wrap a microphone cable.
- Build a Billy bookcase.

- You make warak enab.
- Sail a sailboat.

Tie a shoe with a Velcro tab.

And that's how

you tie a gallows knot.

And that's how you do the tango.

Did any of you
write down the recipe

for the stuffed grape leaves?

I can't. You're
a doctor, I can't read that.

How do you think you're doing?

Well, there are 80 applicants
vying for eight seats,

which means that
only 10 percent will get in.

I have two degrees,
I'm a lawyer,

and I have an IQ of 150.

And a great pair of legs.

I think I'm doing pretty good.

You?

- Well, I--
- Check this out.

Gary Frazier, formerly of
the Australian swim team,

Bronze Medal winner
at the Commonwealth Games

in Melbourne in 2006, engaged

to Stephanie Appelroth 2011.

Hey!

Anything interesting in
The Enquirer, Dr. Truscott?

Oh, thanks for that.

It really helped.

You kinda had that coming.

You know,
you should really delete

those pin-up pictures
of you on Facebook,

and do up a couple of
buttons on your blouse.

Final round.

Good luck, girl.

You, too.

All right,
so we're gonna move on

to some role-playing scenarios.

Lights have just gone out
at a major intersection.

You have to direct both
pedestrian and car traffic.

There's people on each corner,

there's a blind man,
a woman in a wheelchair,

a pregnant woman,
and a homeless man.

Who goes first?

How do they get across safely?

Okay, think, think.

Got to keep this traffic moving,
these pedestrians going.

Which car goes first?
Which pedestrian goes first?

Blind man?

Wheelchair lady.

Expectant mom.

And a homeless man.

There is a pecking order here.

You've accidentally
run over your neighbor's cat

while backing
out of the driveway.

You have to break
the news to her.

Madam?

Madam, please calm down.

Now perhaps I was
at fault in not calculating

the animal in
my blind spot, however,

a reflective vest
or even a jingle bell

on the feline's collar
would certainly contribute

to making this a preventable
accident in the future.

You've just survived
a small plane crash.

The pilot is dead.

You're dressed in city clothes

appropriate for
a business meeting.

You've salvaged
the following items,

a ball of steel wool,
a loaded 45-caliber pistol,

a can of shortening,
a newspaper,

an empty cigarette lighter,

and one quart of
100-proof whiskey.

How will you use
these items to survive?

So we'd better start walking.

Well, not if we plan
to live until morning.

The ambulance bay is very busy,

and you are the only
physician available.

There are two patients
at the opposite end of the room

who both need your
immediate attention.

What do you do?

Okay, I'm gonna
set up defib at 200 joules.

Keep doing CPR.

I need you to stay
to administer meds.

Give him a bolus of saline.

See your door to balloon time?

Please accept my apologies.

Can I take you inside?

We'll call animal services

and I'll get you
a cup of tea. All right?

Would you like that?
Can I do that for you?

All right.

The only way we're
gonna get out of here alive

is if we light
a fire to stay warm

and use it to make smoke signals

for search planes.

- Are you sure about that?
- Oh, yeah.

Mom's not sick.

Wheelchair lady is comfy,

so that means
we bring this traffic through

and then the blind man.

Blind man, go!

Stop!

We're losing him!

Ma'am, this is
no disrespect to your cat,

but my granny has one of
those little white Maltese dogs.

Doesn't bark, not a whimper.

Cute as a button,

and has been a solid companion

that has dramatically
improved her quality of life.

And she's never once
peed on the carpet.

- The dog, not my granny.
- Oh.

What do you think?

Do you know
what you're doing?

I'm taking this bullet,

stuffing it inside
this steel wool,

and drenching
the whole thing with whiskey.

I'm gonna fire the gun,

hit the bullet inside,

which, in turn,
will ignite the fire.

Are you sure about that?

Wait.

Of course!

They're not different.

- They're all equal.
- All equal.

- Traffic can wait.
- Ladies and gentlemen!

Ha ha! How's that for a fire?

You learn a thing or two
when you defend

the occasional arsonist.

Sir!
Do you know where you are?

Start CPR. Charge the defib.

I'm here with you, sir.
All right, you're gonna be fine!

Excellent.
All right, I'll be right back.

- Defib charged.
- Excellent.

Clear!