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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,275 --> 00:00:46,907 I struggle now to remember 2 00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:49,541 much of my childhood. 3 00:00:49,607 --> 00:00:52,241 It only comes back to me in small fragments, 4 00:00:52,307 --> 00:00:56,740 and even those memories are hard to trust. 5 00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,407 I do remember his maps. 6 00:01:01,274 --> 00:01:05,141 It's true I spent most of my life being angry at him. 7 00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:07,973 The older I get, the more I feel 8 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,507 like I never even knew him at all. 9 00:01:10,574 --> 00:01:14,274 My image of him now, I know, falls flat 10 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,706 compared to reality. 11 00:01:16,773 --> 00:01:19,474 Thank you for your memories. 12 00:01:19,541 --> 00:01:20,907 They're all I have now. 13 00:01:26,407 --> 00:01:28,007 I have four pillows in my car. 14 00:02:49,773 --> 00:02:51,207 Okay. 15 00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:55,074 Boys, grab each one thing, and come with me in the house. 16 00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,574 Now. 17 00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:03,374 Jeremy, help me with the mattress, please. 18 00:03:06,507 --> 00:03:08,240 Ah! 19 00:03:47,907 --> 00:03:50,773 I am Miss Mousey. 20 00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:59,706 Closing her eyes. 21 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,340 She's eating your leg. 22 00:04:24,641 --> 00:04:25,740 Mm-hmm. 23 00:05:08,806 --> 00:05:10,673 Mom, your car keys. 24 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:12,607 - Oh, thank you. - Come on! 25 00:05:12,673 --> 00:05:14,240 Get out of my way, come on! 26 00:05:16,773 --> 00:05:18,440 Come. 27 00:06:02,773 --> 00:06:05,107 "And eventually become an evergreen forest. 28 00:06:05,174 --> 00:06:07,908 "The first plants to occupy a disturbed site 29 00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:10,874 "are called pioneer species, the process of processing 30 00:06:10,941 --> 00:06:12,941 into forest called succession." 31 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,274 The heron has two methods of fishing, 32 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,740 either he waits for the prey to come to him, 33 00:06:31,807 --> 00:06:34,474 or else he stalks it very carefully. 34 00:07:08,307 --> 00:07:10,774 While one protects the nest, 35 00:07:10,841 --> 00:07:12,174 the other fishes 36 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,973 to meet the daily increasing need for food. 37 00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:19,174 As time passes, the ritual exchanges between adults 38 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,207 become less and less frequent, 39 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,240 and the strong bond between them begins to weaken. 40 00:07:24,307 --> 00:07:26,174 By the time they finally leave the colony, 41 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,407 these bonds will have completely disappeared. 42 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:35,973 His flight path is sometimes obstructed by other birds. 43 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,807 The direction and force of the wind 44 00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:40,207 can also prevent him from landing, 45 00:07:40,274 --> 00:07:43,274 so he takes off again and tries a new approach. 46 00:07:44,641 --> 00:07:48,307 No, please, no touching! 47 00:07:48,374 --> 00:07:50,374 The young herons have now reached 48 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,007 their full growth and are left on their own. 49 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,274 They find food either guided by their instinct 50 00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:03,274 or by following the adults to the feeding grounds. 51 00:08:43,541 --> 00:08:46,207 - Thank you. - Yeah. 52 00:08:46,274 --> 00:08:48,407 - Come on, let's go. - Yeah. 53 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,741 Let's go to my place first. 54 00:08:52,806 --> 00:08:54,574 I can't wait. 55 00:08:54,642 --> 00:08:57,741 Maybe you can ask your mom if we can go in the pool. 56 00:08:57,806 --> 00:09:00,407 I would love to go in the pool. 57 00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:03,340 We could borrow some of your swimsuits. 58 00:09:03,407 --> 00:09:04,707 Let's go. 59 00:09:04,774 --> 00:09:06,374 Right over here. 60 00:09:13,374 --> 00:09:14,741 Did you do your dance? 61 00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:16,707 Yes, I did do my dance. 62 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,707 I didn't see you! 63 00:09:18,773 --> 00:09:20,140 I know. 64 00:09:20,207 --> 00:09:22,107 You have to do a dance before we do it. 65 00:09:22,174 --> 00:09:23,773 Make sure you do a dance. 66 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,174 It's our tradition. 67 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,174 Wait... 68 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,407 Wait. She's right there. 69 00:10:14,707 --> 00:10:17,040 You guys! 70 00:10:17,107 --> 00:10:19,374 - Help. - Stay calm. 71 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,873 Help. 72 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:24,040 Here, grab a hold of this. Stay calm. 73 00:10:24,107 --> 00:10:27,542 Here we go, here we go. Yeah, just hold on. 74 00:10:27,608 --> 00:10:29,773 Why did you do that, sweetheart? 75 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:12,608 He wants to upset me. He wants to upset you. 76 00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,374 He's--he's troubled, but he's not crazy. 77 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,706 And-- 78 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,174 Crazy means something else. 79 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,007 I just don't want you to say something 80 00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:33,440 like this about my son. 81 00:11:37,641 --> 00:11:42,073 I mean, it's crazy to leave him like this. 82 00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:43,873 That's what they told us-- 83 00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:46,440 don't react, just let him get bored of his own jokes. 84 00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,407 Please check on him, please. 85 00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:25,240 Is he still out there? 86 00:12:25,307 --> 00:12:26,907 Mm-hmm. 87 00:12:34,508 --> 00:12:38,940 - What do you think about Jeremy--how he's behaving? 88 00:12:39,007 --> 00:12:41,073 I don't know. 89 00:12:45,073 --> 00:12:47,574 Why do you think he's like this? 90 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:50,607 - I don't know, Mom. 91 00:12:50,673 --> 00:12:52,174 How did it go? 92 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,607 Why is your hair wet? 93 00:12:55,673 --> 00:12:59,207 - We played in the sprinkler. 94 00:13:09,973 --> 00:13:14,073 Um, yeah, we've seen him. 95 00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:16,174 Yeah, he's just acting out. 96 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:29,240 No. No, I appreciate it. 97 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,574 Um, yeah, yeah. 98 00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:39,907 No, I'm--I'm with you. Yes, yeah. 99 00:13:43,541 --> 00:13:44,973 Who was that? 100 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,107 Jason, from across the street. 101 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,840 He wanted to let us know 102 00:13:48,907 --> 00:13:51,408 that our son is dead on the front step. 103 00:13:53,907 --> 00:13:56,441 - I told him we are aware and not to worry. 104 00:13:56,507 --> 00:13:58,073 He will come back to life soon. 105 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,673 - Hmm. 106 00:14:23,007 --> 00:14:26,806 I woke up at 6:47. 107 00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:31,073 Same, around maybe 7:00. 108 00:14:31,140 --> 00:14:34,341 Did you know that in the ocean-- 109 00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:36,607 you know a fun fact about dolphins? 110 00:14:36,673 --> 00:14:38,174 Want to know a fun fact? 111 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,073 Sometimes dolphins will find a puffer fish and gang up on it 112 00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:46,507 and bite onto it and then toss it around 113 00:14:46,574 --> 00:14:48,408 like a football just to get high. 114 00:14:48,474 --> 00:14:50,073 It's true. 115 00:15:01,806 --> 00:15:03,240 Stop it. 116 00:15:03,308 --> 00:15:05,740 - I don't want to watch you eat. 117 00:15:14,673 --> 00:15:19,073 Boys, do you know where's your swimsuit? 118 00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,241 I don't have one. 119 00:15:21,308 --> 00:15:25,007 Okay, then you should wear these underwears, 120 00:15:25,073 --> 00:15:27,275 so no one will notice anyways. 121 00:15:27,341 --> 00:15:28,940 Yeah. 122 00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:15,474 Sasha, come. 123 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,341 Let's go. 124 00:16:18,407 --> 00:16:19,374 Bye. 125 00:16:39,641 --> 00:16:42,040 Jeremy. 126 00:16:42,107 --> 00:16:43,241 Come. 127 00:16:45,107 --> 00:16:46,407 Jeremy. 128 00:16:50,474 --> 00:16:52,073 Jeremy! 129 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,407 Jeremy, come! 130 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,740 Come with me now. 131 00:17:22,773 --> 00:17:24,740 Seat belts on. 132 00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:36,706 - You can't do it. It's too heavy, dude. 133 00:18:36,773 --> 00:18:38,440 It's, like, 50 pounds. 134 00:18:41,074 --> 00:18:43,041 - There's not a lot. - Let me see. 135 00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:44,407 Like, four. 136 00:18:44,474 --> 00:18:46,440 Oh, there's a decently big one right here. 137 00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:48,141 Oh, he lost an arm. 138 00:18:48,207 --> 00:18:49,840 Aw, put him back! Put him back! 139 00:19:21,374 --> 00:19:23,074 Don't. 140 00:20:50,140 --> 00:20:52,908 - Did he take the money I gave you? 141 00:20:55,107 --> 00:20:57,574 Hmm? 142 00:20:57,641 --> 00:20:59,806 No. 143 00:20:59,873 --> 00:21:02,407 Come on, let's go to the car. 144 00:21:27,474 --> 00:21:29,240 Where's Jeremy? 145 00:21:29,307 --> 00:21:32,073 Where's Mom? Where's Jeremy? 146 00:21:32,140 --> 00:21:33,740 There's Mom. 147 00:21:58,874 --> 00:22:02,073 704, 705, 706, 148 00:22:02,140 --> 00:22:06,706 707, 708, 709... 149 00:22:06,773 --> 00:22:10,607 710, 711, 712, 150 00:22:10,673 --> 00:22:14,908 713, 714, 715. 151 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:31,874 Come. Come now. 152 00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:57,574 Stop it. 153 00:22:57,641 --> 00:23:00,240 Do you want me to crash? 154 00:23:23,807 --> 00:23:26,374 - ♪ My friend ♪ 155 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:32,040 ♪ Don't just sit there and ruminate ♪ 156 00:23:32,107 --> 00:23:37,007 ♪ With your navel to contemplate ♪ 157 00:23:37,073 --> 00:23:42,507 ♪ It's a beautiful day outside ♪ 158 00:23:42,574 --> 00:23:45,440 ♪ Time's passing you by ♪ 159 00:23:57,507 --> 00:23:59,407 Ah! 160 00:23:59,474 --> 00:24:02,040 Here, Let me try. 161 00:24:05,407 --> 00:24:06,807 Ah, damn. 162 00:24:06,874 --> 00:24:08,774 It didn't even land over there. 163 00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:15,274 Oh, that was so close. 164 00:24:19,673 --> 00:24:21,207 Yeah, sure. 165 00:24:21,274 --> 00:24:23,873 Just don't sell me the sausages. 166 00:24:31,907 --> 00:24:35,507 - Dad, where's Mom? 167 00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:37,507 She's at her appointment. 168 00:24:37,574 --> 00:24:40,307 - What kind of appointment? 169 00:24:49,107 --> 00:24:52,674 Dad, what kind of appointment? 170 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,407 - Come, draw something for me. 171 00:25:02,274 --> 00:25:05,407 Ta-da. 172 00:25:05,474 --> 00:25:07,541 Sit. 173 00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:10,541 - Yay. 174 00:25:10,607 --> 00:25:12,741 Ooh. 175 00:25:12,807 --> 00:25:15,240 What's this do? 176 00:25:17,873 --> 00:25:19,774 - Try. 177 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,307 Wow. 178 00:25:21,374 --> 00:25:23,073 - That's nice. 179 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,774 - Now, I need to-- 180 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,707 That one. 181 00:25:30,774 --> 00:25:32,574 It's going to be Miss Mousey. 182 00:25:32,642 --> 00:25:34,474 Yeah. 183 00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:36,840 I know. 184 00:25:36,907 --> 00:25:39,240 - Ooh, that's big. - That's one ear. 185 00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:43,840 Can move it back. 186 00:25:43,907 --> 00:25:48,073 Oh. Wait, wait, I'll do the bucket. 187 00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:50,240 Pull some way just a little. 188 00:25:50,307 --> 00:25:51,707 Oh, no! 189 00:25:57,541 --> 00:26:00,240 Yeah, and then this, you have to do it, like, slowly. 190 00:26:00,307 --> 00:26:02,207 And can you take this? 191 00:26:08,274 --> 00:26:09,674 A boat. 192 00:26:09,741 --> 00:26:10,873 Yeah. 193 00:26:14,608 --> 00:26:15,940 There we go. 194 00:26:19,608 --> 00:26:23,040 Yeah, dude. 195 00:26:23,107 --> 00:26:26,007 Hey, mine has water. 196 00:26:26,073 --> 00:26:29,007 Hey, blue boat is still alive. 197 00:26:29,073 --> 00:26:30,940 And so are mine. 198 00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:32,940 Looking kind of rough, though. 199 00:26:33,007 --> 00:26:34,407 Yeah. 200 00:26:36,642 --> 00:26:37,642 Look at this. 201 00:26:37,707 --> 00:26:39,174 You want one? 202 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,207 - No. 203 00:26:41,274 --> 00:26:43,274 You wish. 204 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,207 Just try to find nice shapes. 205 00:27:42,274 --> 00:27:46,207 And focus on the arrangements, okay? 206 00:27:46,274 --> 00:27:47,907 Mm-hmm. 207 00:27:51,575 --> 00:27:54,140 Nice so far, nice. 208 00:27:54,207 --> 00:27:57,542 Lesson number one, never do that. 209 00:27:57,608 --> 00:27:59,240 Henry. 210 00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:04,641 Time, now. 211 00:28:14,407 --> 00:28:16,773 Who is that? 212 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,641 - Wow. - Me. 213 00:28:18,706 --> 00:28:20,440 Time is going backwards. 214 00:28:20,508 --> 00:28:22,907 It's a time warp. 215 00:28:22,973 --> 00:28:24,340 Yeah. 216 00:28:24,407 --> 00:28:25,773 It's awesome. 217 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,407 That's really cool. Wow. 218 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,475 You spot instantly 219 00:28:43,542 --> 00:28:45,040 during this-- 220 00:28:45,107 --> 00:28:49,641 Jeremy, can you put it in the fixer, please? 221 00:28:51,740 --> 00:28:54,040 How did it go? - Hmm? 222 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:56,207 How did it go? 223 00:28:56,274 --> 00:28:57,773 - What do you mean? 224 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,641 It was terrible, but what is this? 225 00:29:00,706 --> 00:29:03,274 What are you doing? 226 00:29:03,340 --> 00:29:05,607 You're not working. 227 00:29:05,673 --> 00:29:08,408 Where is--where are the children? 228 00:29:08,475 --> 00:29:11,073 - I was showing them something in the darkroom. 229 00:29:23,340 --> 00:29:25,806 It seems like you don't really see 230 00:29:25,873 --> 00:29:29,240 that we are in a crisis somehow. 231 00:29:29,307 --> 00:29:31,641 So... 232 00:29:31,706 --> 00:29:35,508 Badly, I guess. 233 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,873 Did they have any advice this time? 234 00:29:45,873 --> 00:29:50,073 - You can listen to this whole thing. 235 00:29:52,673 --> 00:29:54,240 - He let you record it? 236 00:29:55,773 --> 00:29:57,274 It's difficult. 237 00:29:57,340 --> 00:29:58,541 You're correct, yes. 238 00:29:58,607 --> 00:30:00,174 It's not clear entirely 239 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,541 what's causing this disruptive behavior, 240 00:30:02,607 --> 00:30:04,773 even after meeting with him several times. 241 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,274 Can you say what he was telling you or no? 242 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:10,375 No, I can't tell you that. 243 00:30:10,441 --> 00:30:13,007 But I can tell you my professional opinion. 244 00:30:13,073 --> 00:30:14,840 You mean a diagnosis? 245 00:30:14,907 --> 00:30:16,274 I know that's 246 00:30:16,341 --> 00:30:17,740 what you're after, 247 00:30:17,806 --> 00:30:19,973 but a diagnosis is not always as helpful as you might think. 248 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,641 You don't have one? 249 00:30:22,973 --> 00:30:24,773 While areas of weakness have been identified 250 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,174 in his learning abilities, 251 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,973 they do not alone seem sufficient enough 252 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,607 to account for the level of social difficulty, 253 00:30:30,673 --> 00:30:32,240 the relationship issues, 254 00:30:32,307 --> 00:30:35,940 the adaptive-living issues you reported to me. 255 00:30:36,007 --> 00:30:37,873 As far as a diagnosis is concerned, 256 00:30:37,940 --> 00:30:39,840 I would really only feel confident 257 00:30:39,907 --> 00:30:42,040 in suggesting that Jeremy has signs 258 00:30:42,107 --> 00:30:45,007 of what we would call oppositional defiant disorder. 259 00:30:45,073 --> 00:30:47,040 What is this? 260 00:30:47,107 --> 00:30:49,073 It's what it sounds like-- 261 00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,840 That somewhere along the line, 262 00:30:59,907 --> 00:31:02,308 he decided that he's the boss. 263 00:31:02,375 --> 00:31:05,474 And you just have to show him, and I mean really show him, 264 00:31:05,541 --> 00:31:06,973 that that's not the case. 265 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,507 You are the boss. 266 00:31:21,073 --> 00:31:24,440 Sasha. You're too old for this now. 267 00:31:24,507 --> 00:31:26,375 And too big. 268 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,806 - Aw, but I can't sleep. 269 00:31:28,873 --> 00:31:31,574 Oh, you. 270 00:31:33,341 --> 00:31:35,240 I'll slide this off. 271 00:31:35,308 --> 00:31:36,940 It's so flavorful. 272 00:31:37,007 --> 00:31:39,007 Look at that, folks. That is-- 273 00:31:39,073 --> 00:31:43,641 - We are having now, um, a girls' night. 274 00:31:43,706 --> 00:31:46,007 - Well, am I kicked out? - Uh-huh. 275 00:31:46,073 --> 00:31:49,907 Sasha, Miss Mousey, and me, we're sleeping here. 276 00:31:49,973 --> 00:31:51,873 You can sleep in her bed. 277 00:31:51,940 --> 00:31:53,174 Ay, ay, ay. 278 00:31:53,241 --> 00:31:56,840 - Bye. - Good night. 279 00:31:56,907 --> 00:31:58,174 Night, night. 280 00:31:58,241 --> 00:32:00,341 I'm going to take the spit rod. 281 00:32:00,407 --> 00:32:02,007 And you forget about it. 282 00:32:02,073 --> 00:32:03,574 You just set it and then forget it. 283 00:32:03,641 --> 00:32:05,375 You just set it and forget it. 284 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,375 Set it and forget about it. 285 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,174 You set it and forget it. 286 00:32:09,241 --> 00:32:11,740 Set it and forget it. 287 00:32:56,073 --> 00:32:59,140 Oh, no. Can I run through it? 288 00:33:05,241 --> 00:33:07,840 Let's keep it going. It's going so fast. 289 00:33:07,907 --> 00:33:10,873 Guys, look how fast it's going! 290 00:33:16,073 --> 00:33:20,541 Wait, she's gonna pick it up and pop it this time. 291 00:33:20,607 --> 00:33:22,073 Emma! 292 00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:25,740 Drop it! Okay, okay, okay. 293 00:33:27,507 --> 00:33:31,374 - Pick it up. - Pick it up. 294 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,907 Three, two-- 295 00:33:57,541 --> 00:33:59,773 - Everyone try to get me. - Okay. 296 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,040 Not yet, not yet! 297 00:34:02,107 --> 00:34:03,940 Now, now. 298 00:34:18,873 --> 00:34:20,773 Can you hold this for me? 299 00:34:47,274 --> 00:34:49,407 Ma'am, is this your son? 300 00:34:49,474 --> 00:34:51,806 He gave us this address. 301 00:34:51,873 --> 00:34:54,007 Yes. 302 00:34:54,074 --> 00:34:56,007 Your son was caught shoplifting. 303 00:34:56,074 --> 00:34:59,374 We apprehended him in the parking lot. 304 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,108 Okay. Can--you-- can you take off these--these-- 305 00:35:04,175 --> 00:35:06,240 He'll need to appear in court. 306 00:35:36,706 --> 00:35:40,574 - Man, talk to me! 307 00:35:40,641 --> 00:35:42,440 What's happening? 308 00:35:45,041 --> 00:35:47,507 Are you out of your mind? 309 00:35:47,574 --> 00:35:48,940 Calm down. Stop it. 310 00:35:49,008 --> 00:35:51,474 Talk to me. Hey. Talk to me. 311 00:35:51,541 --> 00:35:53,407 Get away from me! 312 00:35:55,207 --> 00:35:59,407 - Get away from me! - Stop it. Calm down. 313 00:35:59,474 --> 00:36:02,074 Calm down. 314 00:36:02,141 --> 00:36:03,907 Calm. 315 00:36:31,873 --> 00:36:34,940 - ♪ Said the straight man ♪ 316 00:36:35,008 --> 00:36:38,940 ♪ To the late man ♪ 317 00:36:39,008 --> 00:36:44,374 ♪ Where have you been? ♪ 318 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:49,641 ♪ I've been here, and I've been there ♪ 319 00:36:49,706 --> 00:36:56,740 ♪ And I've been in between ♪ 320 00:36:57,907 --> 00:37:01,907 ♪ I talk to the wind ♪ 321 00:37:03,941 --> 00:37:07,773 ♪ My words are all carried away ♪ 322 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,474 - Can I try? - Yeah. 323 00:37:10,541 --> 00:37:13,907 - ♪ I talk to the wind ♪ 324 00:37:15,873 --> 00:37:21,607 ♪ The wind does not hear ♪ 325 00:37:21,673 --> 00:37:26,407 ♪ The wind cannot hear ♪ 326 00:37:26,474 --> 00:37:31,806 ♪ I'm on the outside looking inside ♪ 327 00:37:39,008 --> 00:37:41,908 - Whoa. - Mm-hmm. 328 00:37:45,107 --> 00:37:46,407 Yeah. 329 00:37:50,274 --> 00:37:53,474 And... 330 00:37:53,541 --> 00:37:56,240 we are putting it here. 331 00:37:57,874 --> 00:38:01,673 - Like this? - Yeah. Like... 332 00:38:01,740 --> 00:38:03,740 Yes. 333 00:38:06,740 --> 00:38:09,908 Can Emma come over for dinner? 334 00:38:09,974 --> 00:38:12,908 Um... 335 00:38:12,974 --> 00:38:15,974 I don't know. I-I... 336 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,407 I think it's not a good idea. 337 00:38:19,474 --> 00:38:23,706 So I'm really very, very happy that you are making friends, 338 00:38:23,773 --> 00:38:26,274 and you can go 339 00:38:26,340 --> 00:38:31,107 to their houses anytime. 340 00:38:31,174 --> 00:38:32,908 But, um... 341 00:38:34,740 --> 00:38:39,340 I-I don't want you to feel embarrassed... 342 00:38:39,407 --> 00:38:42,773 because what is happening here, you know? 343 00:38:42,841 --> 00:38:46,407 I'm not embarrassed. 344 00:38:46,474 --> 00:38:49,740 But you don't know what people are saying. 345 00:38:51,407 --> 00:38:55,874 So it--you know, it feels natural for you, 346 00:38:55,941 --> 00:38:58,073 but it shouldn't. 347 00:38:58,140 --> 00:38:59,841 What do you mean? 348 00:38:59,908 --> 00:39:02,040 If Jeremy is coming home by the police, 349 00:39:02,107 --> 00:39:04,541 then people are talking about it. 350 00:39:04,607 --> 00:39:06,073 You know? 351 00:39:16,107 --> 00:39:20,541 You--Yes, I think it's-- it's--it's better like this-- 352 00:39:20,607 --> 00:39:22,807 believe me-- 353 00:39:22,874 --> 00:39:25,740 to keep it separate, you know? 354 00:40:22,474 --> 00:40:23,940 - Jeremy! 355 00:40:37,706 --> 00:40:40,240 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 356 00:40:42,274 --> 00:40:44,574 Devil got into you? 357 00:40:44,641 --> 00:40:46,407 Out of your mind? 358 00:40:53,807 --> 00:40:56,240 Hey, stop this now, okay? 359 00:40:56,307 --> 00:40:57,407 Come down. 360 00:41:01,607 --> 00:41:03,907 Jeremy, can you hear me? 361 00:41:03,973 --> 00:41:07,474 Please, get down, please. 362 00:41:07,541 --> 00:41:09,007 Jeremy. 363 00:41:10,907 --> 00:41:13,240 Jeremy... 364 00:41:13,307 --> 00:41:15,873 look at me. 365 00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:18,407 Look at me, please. 366 00:41:26,374 --> 00:41:27,907 Jeremy. 367 00:41:29,774 --> 00:41:31,407 Get down, please. 368 00:43:36,773 --> 00:43:40,340 Jeremy... 369 00:43:40,407 --> 00:43:42,407 what have you done? 370 00:44:24,508 --> 00:44:26,340 Oh, there she is. 371 00:44:26,407 --> 00:44:27,873 She's such a loser. 372 00:44:27,940 --> 00:44:30,740 I know. 373 00:44:30,806 --> 00:44:33,440 What a geek. 374 00:44:40,940 --> 00:44:44,542 Get lost! 375 00:44:44,608 --> 00:44:47,440 Words hurt. Don't be a part of it. 376 00:44:47,508 --> 00:44:49,475 The North American house hippo 377 00:44:49,542 --> 00:44:53,475 is found throughout Canada and Eastern United States. 378 00:44:53,542 --> 00:44:56,274 House hippos are very timid creatures, 379 00:44:56,340 --> 00:44:58,040 and they're rarely seen. 380 00:44:58,107 --> 00:45:01,040 But they would defend their territory if provoked. 381 00:45:01,107 --> 00:45:04,475 They come out at night to search for food, water, 382 00:45:04,542 --> 00:45:06,007 materials for their nests. 383 00:45:06,073 --> 00:45:08,475 The favorite foods of the house hippo 384 00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:10,040 are chips, raisins, 385 00:45:10,107 --> 00:45:12,575 and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast. 386 00:45:12,641 --> 00:45:15,140 They build their nests in bedroom closets, 387 00:45:15,207 --> 00:45:17,740 using lost mittens, dryer lint, 388 00:45:17,806 --> 00:45:19,374 and bits of string. 389 00:45:19,441 --> 00:45:22,007 The nests have to be very soft and warm. 390 00:45:22,073 --> 00:45:25,973 House hippos sleep about 16 hours a day. 391 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,174 That looked really real. 392 00:45:28,240 --> 00:45:30,641 But you knew it couldn't be true, didn't you? 393 00:45:30,706 --> 00:45:32,407 That's why it's good to think 394 00:45:32,475 --> 00:45:34,207 about what you're watching on TV 395 00:45:34,274 --> 00:45:36,508 and ask questions, kind of like you just did. 396 00:45:36,575 --> 00:45:39,407 A message from Concerned Children's Advertisers. 397 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,174 Hi. 398 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:46,107 - Hello. - I'm from Social Services. 399 00:45:46,174 --> 00:45:48,040 We had scheduled a house visit. 400 00:45:48,107 --> 00:45:50,773 - Yes. - Thank you. 401 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,806 This way, please. 402 00:45:53,873 --> 00:45:55,806 I wanted to come by 403 00:45:55,873 --> 00:45:58,973 and see how things are with Jeremy. 404 00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,574 Oh, we have moved so many times. 405 00:46:01,641 --> 00:46:03,873 And I always worry 406 00:46:03,940 --> 00:46:06,107 what the neighbors are thinking of us, 407 00:46:06,174 --> 00:46:08,508 that maybe we are bad parents. 408 00:46:08,574 --> 00:46:14,740 The thing is that now in the last couple of days, 409 00:46:14,806 --> 00:46:17,475 there were some, uh... 410 00:46:17,542 --> 00:46:21,740 some moments were not that easy 411 00:46:21,806 --> 00:46:24,873 with him again. 412 00:47:10,007 --> 00:47:13,240 - She suggested... 413 00:47:19,607 --> 00:47:21,408 Um... 414 00:47:21,475 --> 00:47:26,140 to, um... 415 00:47:28,806 --> 00:47:32,240 She takes him away. 416 00:47:35,274 --> 00:47:38,673 And... 417 00:47:38,740 --> 00:47:41,706 and I... 418 00:47:41,773 --> 00:47:43,907 I said yes. 419 00:47:49,873 --> 00:47:52,706 I just--I said yes. 420 00:48:20,275 --> 00:48:23,007 It is like some big ping-pong. 421 00:48:23,073 --> 00:48:26,040 The doctor says to talk to the psychologist. 422 00:48:26,107 --> 00:48:29,541 The psychologist says, you need to call the police 423 00:48:29,607 --> 00:48:33,641 when he's acting like this, but the police do nothing. 424 00:48:33,706 --> 00:48:37,541 Mm-hmm. I know. 425 00:48:37,607 --> 00:48:42,507 I-I just can't get over this. 426 00:48:42,574 --> 00:48:45,806 Uh, I don't think anyone expects you to. 427 00:48:45,873 --> 00:48:48,806 It's a very complicated situation. 428 00:48:48,873 --> 00:48:53,007 And I think, you know, you know that. 429 00:48:53,073 --> 00:48:54,806 I just worry 430 00:48:54,873 --> 00:48:58,806 that if someone else had him... 431 00:48:58,873 --> 00:49:01,641 Maybe--you know, maybe it was me. 432 00:49:01,706 --> 00:49:05,208 It's my fault. 433 00:49:05,275 --> 00:49:10,208 That maybe with someone else, he could be a superstar. 434 00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,740 - How are you all? How are your days? 435 00:50:31,641 --> 00:50:33,241 Nice to meet you. 436 00:50:34,940 --> 00:50:37,073 Nice to meet you. 437 00:50:55,806 --> 00:50:58,241 Thank you for meeting me. 438 00:51:05,474 --> 00:51:07,307 Hi. Nice to meet you. 439 00:51:07,374 --> 00:51:10,541 Nice to meet you. Hi. Come right in. 440 00:51:10,607 --> 00:51:13,073 Hi. Nice to meet you. 441 00:51:13,141 --> 00:51:14,440 Hi. 442 00:51:14,507 --> 00:51:16,706 Hi. Hi. 443 00:51:16,773 --> 00:51:18,740 Nice to meet you. 444 00:51:35,541 --> 00:51:38,007 Hi. 445 00:51:38,074 --> 00:51:39,574 - Hi. - Hello. 446 00:51:39,641 --> 00:51:41,074 How's everybody doing? 447 00:51:41,141 --> 00:51:42,907 Good. 448 00:51:42,973 --> 00:51:45,240 - As you can tell, you're on camera. 449 00:51:45,307 --> 00:51:47,307 And I'm a filmmaker, 450 00:51:47,374 --> 00:51:50,007 here to present you with a case file. 451 00:51:50,074 --> 00:51:53,840 There is an eldest child who's presenting issues 452 00:51:53,907 --> 00:51:56,973 within the family, some risk-taking behaviors, 453 00:51:57,041 --> 00:51:59,773 and was assessed, treated, evaluated 454 00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,873 over the course of many years. 455 00:52:01,940 --> 00:52:04,641 The family sort of rightfully felt some frustrations 456 00:52:04,706 --> 00:52:07,307 in--in their availability to care. 457 00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:09,641 And so I would love to get a sense 458 00:52:09,706 --> 00:52:12,873 of how you see this case and assess it 459 00:52:12,940 --> 00:52:16,007 and see how those options are different now, 460 00:52:16,074 --> 00:52:18,740 how the case might be handled differently now. 461 00:52:22,175 --> 00:52:24,008 How old was the-- 462 00:52:24,074 --> 00:52:26,641 how old was the child when he first started 463 00:52:26,706 --> 00:52:28,574 experiencing some of these things? 464 00:52:28,641 --> 00:52:31,673 Um, I would say there was an observation 465 00:52:31,740 --> 00:52:35,574 of, um, sort of behavioral concerns 466 00:52:35,641 --> 00:52:37,008 at, like, three or four. 467 00:52:37,074 --> 00:52:39,973 But 14, 15 years was really around the time 468 00:52:40,041 --> 00:52:41,541 things started escalating. - Right. 469 00:52:41,607 --> 00:52:44,973 I have some information here about-- 470 00:52:45,041 --> 00:52:47,773 that give some insight into his goals. 471 00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,940 - Sure. - Uh... 472 00:52:50,008 --> 00:52:52,008 I'll just read it to you here. 473 00:52:52,074 --> 00:52:54,740 He describes the best time of his life as, 474 00:52:54,806 --> 00:52:56,474 "can't think of one." 475 00:52:56,541 --> 00:52:58,773 He says the best thing that could happen to him 476 00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,340 would be to be rich and famous. 477 00:53:01,407 --> 00:53:03,840 He feels the worst time of his life was, 478 00:53:03,907 --> 00:53:06,340 "when I got caught stealing twice in a row." 479 00:53:06,407 --> 00:53:08,240 He feels the worst thing that could happen to him 480 00:53:08,307 --> 00:53:12,840 would be to, "be like a junkie, to have a life I don't like." 481 00:53:12,907 --> 00:53:14,541 He describes his three wishes as, 482 00:53:14,607 --> 00:53:18,374 "to have something to travel through time in the universe, 483 00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:22,074 to have lots of money, and be old enough to drive." 484 00:53:24,074 --> 00:53:26,140 There are suggestions of personality disorder. 485 00:53:26,207 --> 00:53:29,407 And then there's sort of a back-tracking of that. 486 00:53:29,474 --> 00:53:31,673 So--so... 487 00:53:31,740 --> 00:53:35,340 there's a lot of confusion, I find, in the document itself 488 00:53:35,407 --> 00:53:38,740 about how to assess his well-being, 489 00:53:38,806 --> 00:53:40,307 his sense of himself, 490 00:53:40,374 --> 00:53:42,074 his sense of himself when talking 491 00:53:42,140 --> 00:53:43,840 to different professionals. 492 00:53:43,907 --> 00:53:48,374 Um, but this is what we have of how he felt. 493 00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:53,074 Uh, I'm curious how that changes anybody's perspective. 494 00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:56,873 - The report talks a lot about requiring considerable support. 495 00:53:56,941 --> 00:53:59,840 Um, and I know that this is, you know, 20 years ago. 496 00:53:59,907 --> 00:54:02,340 I wonder what sort of support was available 497 00:54:02,407 --> 00:54:03,974 for this young person. 498 00:54:04,041 --> 00:54:06,008 Now, I think us as social workers, we see that-- 499 00:54:06,074 --> 00:54:08,174 fast-forward 20 years, there's still not a lot of support 500 00:54:08,240 --> 00:54:12,140 out there to help transition these folks from crises 501 00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:14,174 to stabilization 502 00:54:14,240 --> 00:54:18,673 and--and going down a path that's going to be, uh, 503 00:54:18,740 --> 00:54:21,008 helpful and--and goal-oriented. 504 00:54:21,073 --> 00:54:24,240 And so I can't imagine what it looked like 20 years ago. 505 00:54:24,307 --> 00:54:26,240 I mean, the piece that I read 506 00:54:26,307 --> 00:54:28,607 about around having a little bit of respite, 507 00:54:28,673 --> 00:54:30,073 I think, sounds important, 508 00:54:30,140 --> 00:54:32,840 provided that it's qualified with it not being punitive. 509 00:54:32,908 --> 00:54:35,008 I think that's really important. 510 00:54:35,073 --> 00:54:37,307 If this young man--he's the eldest, you're saying, 511 00:54:37,374 --> 00:54:39,140 just so I'm clear in terms of the family history? 512 00:54:39,207 --> 00:54:40,673 - Yes. - He's the eldest. 513 00:54:40,740 --> 00:54:42,174 And he is the result 514 00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:44,207 of the mother's relationship with another man. 515 00:54:44,274 --> 00:54:46,507 And the younger three children are the mother's relationship 516 00:54:46,574 --> 00:54:48,607 with a different biological father? 517 00:54:48,673 --> 00:54:50,240 Yes, that's correct. 518 00:54:50,307 --> 00:54:52,073 - So as the eldest-- 519 00:54:52,140 --> 00:54:53,874 And given what I'm hearing here, 520 00:54:53,941 --> 00:54:57,140 this whole family is in crisis. 521 00:54:57,207 --> 00:54:59,806 They're feeling, I'm sure, at their wits' end, 522 00:54:59,874 --> 00:55:02,474 um, and probably holding two things-- 523 00:55:02,541 --> 00:55:05,806 wanting to get their son help 524 00:55:05,874 --> 00:55:08,107 and protect their other children. 525 00:55:08,174 --> 00:55:11,374 - Right, so the suggestion would be to sort of, uh, 526 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,474 ask the family to implement more of a structure 527 00:55:15,541 --> 00:55:17,673 to involve and provide. 528 00:55:17,740 --> 00:55:18,908 With support, you know? 529 00:55:18,974 --> 00:55:20,340 Yeah. 530 00:55:20,407 --> 00:55:22,407 - Because they're not necessarily feeling good 531 00:55:22,474 --> 00:55:23,673 about him. 532 00:55:23,740 --> 00:55:25,841 So how does-- how do we change that 533 00:55:25,908 --> 00:55:29,073 and using things he's interested in? 534 00:55:29,140 --> 00:55:30,740 Yeah. 535 00:55:30,806 --> 00:55:33,073 - And so sometimes, voluntary placements 536 00:55:33,140 --> 00:55:34,841 can be a good intervention 537 00:55:34,908 --> 00:55:36,874 and then looking towards reunifying the family, 538 00:55:36,941 --> 00:55:40,274 and doing that work to help reunify the family. 539 00:55:40,340 --> 00:55:42,974 And sometimes it could, yeah, create these voids 540 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,773 and vacuums and more problems, right? 541 00:55:45,841 --> 00:55:49,474 And often, um, it's hard to see 542 00:55:49,541 --> 00:55:51,140 what the outcome's gonna be. 543 00:55:51,207 --> 00:55:53,340 And the initial decision is just made on-- 544 00:55:53,407 --> 00:55:56,908 is more made on, okay, the here and now, 545 00:55:56,973 --> 00:55:59,274 what's happening intersectionally, 546 00:55:59,340 --> 00:56:02,908 in terms of, like, risk and--and danger 547 00:56:02,973 --> 00:56:06,706 and best interest of the child, whatever that means. 548 00:56:06,773 --> 00:56:10,073 And so, um-- so it's hard to predict. 549 00:56:10,140 --> 00:56:12,007 And I've seen it, in the instances 550 00:56:12,073 --> 00:56:14,807 that I have been involved with, 551 00:56:14,874 --> 00:56:17,841 go quite well and not go so well. 552 00:56:17,908 --> 00:56:21,040 It's just hard to say. 553 00:56:21,107 --> 00:56:22,440 - Hmm. 554 00:57:02,874 --> 00:57:04,940 Simple, straight-up assurance 555 00:57:05,007 --> 00:57:06,307 is such a strong currency, 556 00:57:06,374 --> 00:57:08,207 just providing that reassurance 557 00:57:08,274 --> 00:57:10,907 to--to the parents that, okay, you're feeling 558 00:57:10,973 --> 00:57:13,574 a vortex of things right now, and it's okay. 559 00:57:13,641 --> 00:57:15,507 Similar to what we're training the parents 560 00:57:15,574 --> 00:57:16,874 to teach the child-- 561 00:57:16,940 --> 00:57:18,774 it's okay that you're feeling those things 562 00:57:18,841 --> 00:57:20,140 without feeling these things. 563 00:57:20,207 --> 00:57:22,040 And this is why you're feeling them. 564 00:57:22,107 --> 00:57:24,040 And you have every right to feel these things. 565 00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:27,541 And I think even just that currency of reassurance 566 00:57:27,607 --> 00:57:32,440 can just maybe--just maybe help them take that breather 567 00:57:32,507 --> 00:57:37,741 and try again, try again tomorrow. 568 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,907 She suggested... 569 00:58:10,641 --> 00:58:14,073 Um, to... 570 00:58:15,774 --> 00:58:18,240 Um... 571 00:58:50,973 --> 00:58:52,674 I'm getting married, Walter, 572 00:58:52,741 --> 00:58:54,374 and I'm also getting as far away 573 00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,940 from the newspaper business as I can get. 574 00:58:57,007 --> 00:58:58,073 What? 575 00:58:58,140 --> 00:58:59,541 I am through. 576 00:58:59,607 --> 00:59:01,174 You can get mad all you want to, Hildy, 577 00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:02,674 but you can't quit the newspaper business. 578 00:59:02,741 --> 00:59:04,374 - Oh, why not? - I know you. 579 00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,007 I know what quitting would mean to you. 580 00:59:06,073 --> 00:59:07,674 And what would it mean? 581 00:59:07,741 --> 00:59:09,073 It would kill you. 582 00:59:09,140 --> 00:59:10,474 You can't sell me that, Walter Burns. 583 00:59:10,541 --> 00:59:12,007 Who says I can't? You're a newspaperman. 584 00:59:12,073 --> 00:59:13,307 That's why I'm quitting. 585 00:59:13,374 --> 00:59:14,840 I want to go someplace where I can be a woman. 586 00:59:14,907 --> 00:59:16,140 You mean be a traitor. 587 00:59:16,207 --> 00:59:17,741 A traitor to what? 588 00:59:17,806 --> 00:59:19,274 A traitor to journalism. 589 00:59:19,340 --> 00:59:20,773 You're a journalist, Hildy. A journalist? 590 00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:22,307 Now, what does that mean? 591 00:59:22,374 --> 00:59:23,873 Peeking through keyholes? Chasing after fire engines? 592 00:59:23,940 --> 00:59:25,407 Waking people up in the middle of the night 593 00:59:25,474 --> 00:59:27,407 to ask them if Hitler's going to start another war? 594 01:00:02,140 --> 01:00:03,907 Hecky? 595 01:00:07,107 --> 01:00:08,407 Ready? 596 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:13,073 Yeah. 597 01:00:24,073 --> 01:00:27,174 I've been working on, um, a project 598 01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,840 that looks back at my time with my family 599 01:00:30,907 --> 01:00:32,575 and that period of time in my life. 600 01:00:32,642 --> 01:00:35,007 And, um... 601 01:00:35,073 --> 01:00:38,507 I thought of you because you, in many ways, 602 01:00:38,575 --> 01:00:41,040 are the key to those memories. 603 01:00:41,107 --> 01:00:44,207 And I'm just so grateful to talk to you about it. 604 01:00:44,274 --> 01:00:48,340 It's funny because I remember these... 605 01:00:48,407 --> 01:00:51,007 more feelings, these moments of chaos. 606 01:00:51,073 --> 01:00:53,474 And then I remember moments that, you know, 607 01:00:53,542 --> 01:00:56,907 were not so disruptive, um... 608 01:00:56,973 --> 01:01:00,474 not so--not so dramatic. 609 01:01:00,542 --> 01:01:03,140 And I remember Jeremy being 610 01:01:03,207 --> 01:01:05,873 you know, as sweet as he was unpredictable. 611 01:01:05,940 --> 01:01:08,207 So it's very hard to-- 612 01:01:08,274 --> 01:01:12,806 to square some of my memories sometimes of that time. 613 01:01:12,873 --> 01:01:14,840 You know, he... 614 01:01:14,907 --> 01:01:16,840 he certainly was struggling. 615 01:01:16,907 --> 01:01:19,340 And, you know, that was, I think, 616 01:01:19,407 --> 01:01:22,873 why your parents reached out for as much help as they did, 617 01:01:22,940 --> 01:01:25,174 because he just--he really-- yeah, I don't-- 618 01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,575 I just--you know, your mom, in particular, 619 01:01:27,641 --> 01:01:31,107 just didn't know what to do or where to get the help for him. 620 01:01:31,174 --> 01:01:32,873 - Yeah. - Such a-- 621 01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:35,907 I really had a lot of respect for your parents 622 01:01:35,973 --> 01:01:37,873 and everything that they were trying to do 623 01:01:37,940 --> 01:01:39,107 to raise you and your brothers. 624 01:01:39,174 --> 01:01:40,374 Mm. 625 01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:41,940 In many families, 626 01:01:42,007 --> 01:01:43,542 they hit a breaking point, and it becomes unsafe 627 01:01:43,608 --> 01:01:45,407 not just for that person 628 01:01:45,475 --> 01:01:48,174 that is going to move into a home--a foster home, 629 01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:50,973 but it becomes unsafe for the other people in the home, 630 01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:52,641 and it's a very difficult decision. 631 01:01:52,706 --> 01:01:54,240 - So... - Yeah. 632 01:01:54,307 --> 01:01:56,374 He had some pretty unique behaviors, 633 01:01:56,441 --> 01:01:58,706 and they were really upsetting for your mom. 634 01:01:58,773 --> 01:02:01,140 She was always very worried about... 635 01:02:01,207 --> 01:02:03,007 you know, where that would lead, 636 01:02:03,073 --> 01:02:05,508 and disappointed in the services and support 637 01:02:05,575 --> 01:02:07,007 and answers that she got. 638 01:02:07,073 --> 01:02:08,973 She didn't get answers that really made sense 639 01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:11,240 - or that were supportive. - Yeah. 640 01:02:11,307 --> 01:02:13,174 He didn't have a lot of friends. 641 01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:15,040 And when he would come out of his room, 642 01:02:15,107 --> 01:02:17,542 he just had the ability 643 01:02:17,607 --> 01:02:20,107 to just take whatever was happening in the room 644 01:02:20,174 --> 01:02:23,207 and just upset it and spin it. 645 01:02:23,274 --> 01:02:25,007 And, you know, 646 01:02:25,073 --> 01:02:26,940 he demanded a lot of attention in that moment. 647 01:02:27,007 --> 01:02:28,274 And so I do remember 648 01:02:28,340 --> 01:02:30,475 that he would have gasoline in his room. 649 01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:32,274 He just would have it-- not very much, 650 01:02:32,340 --> 01:02:34,007 but he would have some in his room. 651 01:02:34,073 --> 01:02:35,873 And I remember your mom being so scared, 652 01:02:35,940 --> 01:02:37,873 because he had made this threat that he was going 653 01:02:37,940 --> 01:02:40,307 to burn the house down with everybody in it. 654 01:02:40,374 --> 01:02:43,673 I can't even imagine, as your parents, being in the house, 655 01:02:43,740 --> 01:02:47,107 you know, knowing that that threat has been made 656 01:02:47,174 --> 01:02:50,207 and there are things in place 657 01:02:50,274 --> 01:02:53,073 that could make it happen in a split second. 658 01:02:54,706 --> 01:02:57,040 You know, that's something I always wondered, 659 01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:59,641 you know, is maybe why he didn't get a diagnosis. 660 01:02:59,706 --> 01:03:01,340 But we'll never know. 661 01:03:01,408 --> 01:03:03,574 We'll never know, you know, the truth, I don't think. 662 01:03:03,641 --> 01:03:06,408 It's really hard to sort of sort that through. 663 01:03:06,475 --> 01:03:08,340 Um... 664 01:03:08,408 --> 01:03:09,907 but he... 665 01:03:11,607 --> 01:03:14,873 The character that I saw, the person that I saw 666 01:03:14,940 --> 01:03:17,475 certainly demonstrated or looked like someone 667 01:03:17,541 --> 01:03:19,174 who was really suffering, 668 01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:22,574 who was really struggling, who was really... 669 01:03:22,641 --> 01:03:25,907 alone and isolated and... 670 01:03:25,973 --> 01:03:29,508 invested in... 671 01:03:29,574 --> 01:03:31,940 yeah, invested in the chaos, 672 01:03:32,007 --> 01:03:35,973 really invested in the chaos. 673 01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:38,341 I hope someday to be able to, you know, be 674 01:03:38,408 --> 01:03:40,673 in the presence of your parents again. 675 01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:42,706 They're both very strong people. 676 01:03:42,773 --> 01:03:44,408 They're very resilient, you know? 677 01:03:44,475 --> 01:03:47,040 And I have a lot of respect for them, for sure. 678 01:03:47,107 --> 01:03:50,873 So I hope someday that I cross paths with them, too. 679 01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:54,973 - Hello. - Hi. 680 01:07:57,773 --> 01:07:59,607 Uh... 681 01:07:59,673 --> 01:08:01,240 - You're from social services, yes? 682 01:08:01,307 --> 01:08:04,740 - Yes, sorry, that's right. It's nice to meet you. 683 01:08:08,673 --> 01:08:10,407 This way, please. 684 01:08:13,507 --> 01:08:15,773 Do you mind if I look around first? 685 01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,208 Yeah, that's fine. 686 01:08:36,773 --> 01:08:38,274 Miss Mousey. 687 01:08:38,340 --> 01:08:39,407 Mm. 688 01:08:47,607 --> 01:08:51,474 First we will hear a waltz written by Johann Strauss. 689 01:08:53,074 --> 01:08:55,907 And as we hear the "whythmic stwains" 690 01:08:55,973 --> 01:08:57,740 of the haunting "wefwain," 691 01:08:57,806 --> 01:09:00,840 "wisten" to the whistling "whythm" of the woodwinds 692 01:09:00,907 --> 01:09:04,274 as it "wolls awound and awound" 693 01:09:04,340 --> 01:09:06,207 and comes out here. 694 01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:42,507 - ♪ Come on out ♪ 695 01:10:42,574 --> 01:10:47,240 ♪ Don't just sit there catatonic ♪ 696 01:10:48,873 --> 01:10:52,740 ♪ I'm feeling supersonic ♪ 697 01:10:54,207 --> 01:10:58,641 ♪ The warm wind is sweeping by ♪ 698 01:10:58,706 --> 01:11:01,507 ♪ The sun's full in the sky ♪ 699 01:11:01,574 --> 01:11:06,374 ♪ And there's no way of knowing ♪ 700 01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:09,207 ♪ No way to know ♪ 701 01:11:25,207 --> 01:11:27,806 Can I turn this light on? 702 01:11:27,874 --> 01:11:29,874 Yes, it's okay now. 703 01:11:59,007 --> 01:12:01,706 - Hi. - Hi. 704 01:12:01,773 --> 01:12:03,274 It's nice to meet you. 705 01:12:03,340 --> 01:12:05,941 - Nice to meet you, too. - Please, have a seat. 706 01:12:06,007 --> 01:12:07,740 Thank you. 707 01:12:15,107 --> 01:12:16,607 Hi. 708 01:12:16,673 --> 01:12:18,773 Hi, hello. 709 01:12:18,841 --> 01:12:20,740 Um... 710 01:12:20,806 --> 01:12:23,340 how are you both doing? 711 01:12:23,407 --> 01:12:24,740 Yeah... 712 01:12:24,807 --> 01:12:26,407 we are fine, thanks. 713 01:12:26,474 --> 01:12:28,807 How are things with Jeremy? 714 01:12:31,407 --> 01:12:33,874 You can talk, too, you know? 715 01:12:33,941 --> 01:12:35,474 - Yes, I will. 716 01:12:35,541 --> 01:12:38,407 But, please, you start. 717 01:12:38,474 --> 01:12:39,908 - Um... 718 01:12:44,307 --> 01:12:47,740 It feels like... 719 01:12:47,807 --> 01:12:50,073 somehow, I'm cursed. 720 01:12:52,773 --> 01:12:54,541 He's... 721 01:12:54,607 --> 01:12:56,274 so troubled. 722 01:12:56,340 --> 01:12:59,706 We tried everything... 723 01:12:59,774 --> 01:13:02,107 Mm, therapy... 724 01:13:02,174 --> 01:13:05,740 special school, homeschooling. 725 01:13:05,807 --> 01:13:08,740 It didn't work. 726 01:13:10,374 --> 01:13:12,908 He doesn't want to listen to anybody. 727 01:13:12,973 --> 01:13:15,908 Not us, not any adult 728 01:13:15,973 --> 01:13:18,407 could ever control him. 729 01:13:23,107 --> 01:13:25,274 Mm... 730 01:13:25,340 --> 01:13:28,174 he was six years old 731 01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:32,440 when one day something happened with his eyes. 732 01:13:32,507 --> 01:13:35,673 You can tell this, no? 733 01:13:35,741 --> 01:13:38,774 - We were playing catch with a ball, 734 01:13:38,841 --> 01:13:41,841 just back and forth and... 735 01:13:41,907 --> 01:13:45,107 When, suddenly, he could not catch it anymore. 736 01:13:45,174 --> 01:13:48,007 I would throw it for him, and... 737 01:13:48,073 --> 01:13:52,673 his hands would cross the air in front of him. 738 01:13:52,741 --> 01:13:56,807 But he just could not see the ball anymore. 739 01:13:56,874 --> 01:14:00,140 It was something very strange, 740 01:14:00,207 --> 01:14:04,240 but his eyes just suddenly went crossed. 741 01:14:06,107 --> 01:14:08,807 It was very bizarre, and... 742 01:14:08,873 --> 01:14:10,973 and I think it scared him. 743 01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:14,007 It scared us, too, of course. - Yeah. 744 01:14:16,673 --> 01:14:20,407 So I don't know. 745 01:14:20,474 --> 01:14:24,841 This is one of the unlucky things that comes to my mind. 746 01:14:24,907 --> 01:14:27,774 Mm, he had to get these big glasses 747 01:14:27,841 --> 01:14:30,774 with such a very young age. 748 01:14:30,841 --> 01:14:32,673 And I think because of this 749 01:14:32,741 --> 01:14:37,374 and from his accent at the beginning... 750 01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:41,840 mm, the kids at the school were not nice to him. 751 01:14:41,907 --> 01:14:43,607 You mean he was picked on? 752 01:14:43,674 --> 01:14:46,174 - Yes. 753 01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:51,073 Did he talk to either of you about this? 754 01:14:51,140 --> 01:14:53,741 - Mm, he... 755 01:14:55,807 --> 01:14:57,807 He doesn't care 756 01:14:57,873 --> 01:15:02,641 about what others saying about him. 757 01:15:02,707 --> 01:15:05,440 He never cared about... 758 01:15:05,507 --> 01:15:08,073 making friends. 759 01:15:08,140 --> 01:15:09,774 He just-- 760 01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:13,541 he likes to be the clown... 761 01:15:13,607 --> 01:15:15,907 to everyone. 762 01:15:15,973 --> 01:15:19,007 He was always like this. 763 01:15:19,073 --> 01:15:21,407 And how is he with his siblings? 764 01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:28,973 - Mm, sometimes he's really nasty with them, 765 01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:32,407 but sometimes he's--he's very sweet. 766 01:15:35,107 --> 01:15:36,741 Mm. 767 01:15:41,073 --> 01:15:43,407 Why do you think he's like this? 768 01:15:58,207 --> 01:16:01,806 - He's uncontrollable, completely. 769 01:16:01,873 --> 01:16:05,940 He's doing really big and risky things. 770 01:16:06,007 --> 01:16:09,541 And he can hurt himself or... 771 01:16:09,608 --> 01:16:11,307 others. 772 01:16:11,374 --> 01:16:15,474 And he doesn't care if he's getting caught. 773 01:16:15,541 --> 01:16:18,107 So one day, 774 01:16:18,174 --> 01:16:21,940 he stole a bicycle from a yard. 775 01:16:22,007 --> 01:16:24,740 And he came home totally beaten up, 776 01:16:24,806 --> 01:16:27,642 and his face was blue. 777 01:16:27,707 --> 01:16:29,340 I don't know what he was thinking. 778 01:16:29,407 --> 01:16:34,274 And he told me it was just for fun. 779 01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:36,873 I don't know what-- 780 01:16:36,940 --> 01:16:39,073 What is he thinking? 781 01:16:40,773 --> 01:16:42,773 And... 782 01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,240 and he's stealing from us. 783 01:16:45,307 --> 01:16:49,073 - We can't keep any money where he can find it. 784 01:16:49,140 --> 01:16:51,474 He takes whatever he sees. 785 01:16:51,542 --> 01:16:54,073 Sometimes he's taking things from the house 786 01:16:54,140 --> 01:16:57,340 and brings them to the pawn shop just to get a few dollars. 787 01:16:57,407 --> 01:16:59,773 He would even steal from his siblings. 788 01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:02,608 - Yeah, he thinks that he's... 789 01:17:02,674 --> 01:17:05,407 some kind of gangster guy. 790 01:17:05,474 --> 01:17:09,706 He tried to sell fake drugs to some boys on the street 791 01:17:09,773 --> 01:17:12,240 at 14 years old. 792 01:17:14,274 --> 01:17:16,440 I... 793 01:17:16,507 --> 01:17:18,773 So we can't... 794 01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:22,907 we can't tell him anything. 795 01:17:22,973 --> 01:17:25,474 He doesn't listen to us. 796 01:17:25,542 --> 01:17:28,740 Grounding, rules--nothing. 797 01:17:32,240 --> 01:17:34,474 Is it true that he once threatened 798 01:17:34,542 --> 01:17:36,240 to burn the house down? 799 01:17:40,706 --> 01:17:43,440 - Yeah, I know he hates me. 800 01:17:43,508 --> 01:17:44,973 - What should we do now? 801 01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:46,940 That's what we need to know, yeah? 802 01:17:47,007 --> 01:17:49,140 What are we supposed to do? 803 01:17:49,207 --> 01:17:51,575 From what I understand, 804 01:17:51,642 --> 01:17:54,007 the best option would be something 805 01:17:54,073 --> 01:17:56,240 called voluntary placement. 806 01:18:08,107 --> 01:18:12,407 Voluntary placement, what does it mean, exactly? 807 01:18:14,073 --> 01:18:15,806 It means he would be placed 808 01:18:15,873 --> 01:18:18,107 with a foster family, essentially. 809 01:18:22,508 --> 01:18:24,007 Uh, I'm sorry. 810 01:18:24,073 --> 01:18:28,873 T-this is a very hard thing for us to hear. 811 01:18:28,940 --> 01:18:32,140 I-I'm sure you understand, we are trying so hard 812 01:18:32,207 --> 01:18:34,940 for--for so many years with Jeremy. 813 01:18:56,575 --> 01:18:58,407 I need some water. 814 01:19:00,174 --> 01:19:02,607 I'm sorry. 815 01:19:02,673 --> 01:19:04,907 I didn't mean to upset her. 816 01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:11,340 - It's okay. Uh... 817 01:19:11,408 --> 01:19:15,408 We're just both so exhausted from all of this. 818 01:19:17,107 --> 01:19:20,073 And we feel like there is no good options left. 819 01:19:28,641 --> 01:19:31,441 - Have you ever heard... 820 01:19:31,508 --> 01:19:33,907 about a family like this? 821 01:19:36,574 --> 01:19:37,973 How come... 822 01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:41,973 Nobody has to give their children away? 823 01:19:42,040 --> 01:19:44,973 Just alcohol addicts 824 01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:48,907 or people are beating their children. 825 01:19:48,973 --> 01:19:53,174 I don't understand why. 826 01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:55,740 I wish I had a better answer. 827 01:20:04,307 --> 01:20:08,140 What if we try this, just for a little while? 828 01:20:08,207 --> 01:20:12,740 Maybe if he goes away, he can do better. 829 01:20:12,806 --> 01:20:14,773 And then he comes home. 830 01:20:18,706 --> 01:20:21,240 Could we see him still? 831 01:20:39,673 --> 01:20:41,740 You will see him again. 832 01:20:43,574 --> 01:20:48,408 You will try many, many times to keep him at home. 833 01:20:50,973 --> 01:20:54,673 You will do everything in your power to help him. 834 01:20:54,740 --> 01:20:57,207 It will consume you entirely. 835 01:21:00,806 --> 01:21:02,873 You won't give up. 836 01:21:02,940 --> 01:21:07,240 But you will get tired as the years go on and on. 837 01:21:09,806 --> 01:21:12,140 He will go to foster care, 838 01:21:12,207 --> 01:21:15,240 but it will be a temporary solution. 839 01:21:18,073 --> 01:21:22,408 You will doubt yourself as a parent... 840 01:21:22,474 --> 01:21:24,240 and, at times, your life. 841 01:21:26,408 --> 01:21:29,740 You will begin to close yourself from the world. 842 01:21:34,341 --> 01:21:36,240 No one will understand. 843 01:21:37,973 --> 01:21:40,073 And it will only worsen. 844 01:21:43,140 --> 01:21:45,673 He, himself, will have no explanation... 845 01:21:45,740 --> 01:21:49,073 Other than he cannot manage. 846 01:21:52,773 --> 01:21:56,174 You will beg for change and solutions. 847 01:21:59,207 --> 01:22:01,973 He will grow into an adult... 848 01:22:02,040 --> 01:22:04,907 And the help he needs, he will not get. 849 01:22:08,806 --> 01:22:11,607 It won't get better. 850 01:22:11,706 --> 01:22:13,140 Countless professionals 851 01:22:13,207 --> 01:22:15,706 will come in and out of your life. 852 01:22:18,706 --> 01:22:21,740 But it won't change. 853 01:22:23,407 --> 01:22:27,241 Despite what you know of him and yourself... 854 01:22:27,308 --> 01:22:29,073 you will lose him. 855 01:22:44,873 --> 01:22:46,740 This does not have to be 856 01:22:46,806 --> 01:22:48,241 a permanent solution. 857 01:22:48,308 --> 01:22:51,107 It could also be a temporary one as well. 858 01:22:51,174 --> 01:22:54,308 To--to send him... 859 01:22:54,374 --> 01:22:58,073 to a-a totally stranger family... 860 01:22:59,973 --> 01:23:02,073 Do you think that-- 861 01:24:32,541 --> 01:24:35,607 Did you have a friend named Elijah? 862 01:24:35,673 --> 01:24:37,407 Mm-hmm. 863 01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:41,673 How come I don't remember that? 864 01:24:41,740 --> 01:24:44,240 I think there's a lot you don't remember. 865 01:24:52,873 --> 01:24:55,806 - "Dear Sasha... 866 01:24:55,873 --> 01:24:58,240 I grew up with your brother Jeremy." 867 01:25:00,840 --> 01:25:02,507 "We were never really close, 868 01:25:02,574 --> 01:25:05,240 "but he was one of the most memorable of my friends 869 01:25:05,307 --> 01:25:06,407 from school." 870 01:25:08,208 --> 01:25:10,607 "In grade ten, we were suspended together 871 01:25:10,673 --> 01:25:13,541 "for stealing from lockers. 872 01:25:13,607 --> 01:25:15,773 "That's a long story, but... 873 01:25:15,840 --> 01:25:17,907 Jeremy wasn't really involved." 874 01:25:20,374 --> 01:25:23,207 "Even though I took the blame, Jeremy still got in trouble. 875 01:25:23,274 --> 01:25:25,407 And I felt pretty bad about that." 876 01:25:27,207 --> 01:25:29,407 "He invited me over to hang out one time, 877 01:25:29,474 --> 01:25:34,141 "and he showed me his maps of towns and cities. 878 01:25:34,207 --> 01:25:37,240 They remain some of the most unique art I've seen." 879 01:25:39,740 --> 01:25:41,175 "I would sometimes see him out 880 01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:43,740 with people who were not very good influences." 881 01:25:45,374 --> 01:25:47,907 "I was really unsure how to help." 882 01:25:51,041 --> 01:25:53,673 "I began seeing less and less of him." 883 01:25:55,541 --> 01:25:58,074 "After high school, I didn't see much of him, 884 01:25:58,141 --> 01:26:00,407 but I would think of him often." 885 01:26:02,274 --> 01:26:04,607 "Recently, I tried to look him up on Facebook 886 01:26:04,673 --> 01:26:06,907 but couldn't find anything." 887 01:26:08,740 --> 01:26:11,541 "But I came across you... 888 01:26:11,607 --> 01:26:13,907 and your films." 889 01:26:16,907 --> 01:26:19,407 "That's where I learned about his passing." 890 01:26:24,041 --> 01:26:26,907 "I am so very sorry for your loss." 891 01:26:29,274 --> 01:26:31,507 "I saw in your film what you said 892 01:26:31,574 --> 01:26:33,940 "about being angry at Jeremy... 893 01:26:34,008 --> 01:26:36,240 and your regrets about that now." 894 01:26:39,374 --> 01:26:41,907 "I also have a brother who I've been angry with 895 01:26:41,974 --> 01:26:43,907 for most of my life." 896 01:26:45,641 --> 01:26:49,240 "I just wanted to share my memories of your brother 897 01:26:49,307 --> 01:26:53,274 "and that I always knew him as a special soul 898 01:26:53,340 --> 01:26:55,240 who had a kind heart." 899 01:28:09,008 --> 01:28:11,240 - ♪ Your picture ♪ 900 01:28:13,507 --> 01:28:15,908 ♪ Is still ♪ 901 01:28:17,874 --> 01:28:20,240 ♪ On my wall ♪ 902 01:28:21,974 --> 01:28:24,407 ♪ On my wall ♪ 903 01:28:26,874 --> 01:28:29,240 ♪ The colors ♪ 904 01:28:31,340 --> 01:28:33,440 ♪ Are bright ♪ 905 01:28:36,374 --> 01:28:38,073 ♪ Bright ♪ 906 01:28:39,974 --> 01:28:42,073 ♪ As ever ♪ 907 01:28:44,541 --> 01:28:48,541 ♪ The red is strong ♪ 908 01:28:48,607 --> 01:28:53,107 ♪ The blue is pure ♪ 909 01:28:53,174 --> 01:28:56,908 ♪ Some things last ♪ 910 01:28:56,974 --> 01:28:59,440 ♪ A long time ♪ 911 01:29:02,607 --> 01:29:06,274 ♪ Some things last ♪ 912 01:29:06,340 --> 01:29:08,574 ♪ A long time ♪ 913 01:29:19,773 --> 01:29:22,073 ♪ Your picture ♪ 914 01:29:23,973 --> 01:29:26,673 ♪ Is still ♪ 915 01:29:28,673 --> 01:29:31,673 ♪ On my wall ♪ 916 01:29:33,340 --> 01:29:35,407 ♪ On my wall ♪ 917 01:29:37,807 --> 01:29:41,474 ♪ I think ♪ 918 01:29:41,541 --> 01:29:44,440 ♪ About you ♪ 919 01:29:47,340 --> 01:29:49,240 ♪ Often ♪ 920 01:29:51,507 --> 01:29:53,740 ♪ Often ♪ 921 01:29:56,007 --> 01:30:00,541 ♪ I won't forget ♪ 922 01:30:00,607 --> 01:30:04,774 ♪ All the things we did ♪ 923 01:30:04,841 --> 01:30:08,274 ♪ Some things last ♪ 924 01:30:08,340 --> 01:30:10,706 ♪ A long time ♪ 925 01:30:13,673 --> 01:30:17,440 ♪ Some things last ♪ 926 01:30:17,507 --> 01:30:20,440 ♪ A long time ♪ 66634

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