All language subtitles for Home.Economics.S03E10.Santa.Suit.Rental.S25.Per.Day.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Kitsune_track3_[eng]

- So how's Sarah doing?
- Living the dream.

If the dream is mounting
a low-budget children's musical

in Sacramento while
staying with your parents.

That is one of the saddest
full sentences I've ever heard.

Whoa. Tom, nice sweater.

Finally wearing
something I would wear.

Well, I thought I should
upgrade from my usual hoodie,

- you know...
- Here it comes.

As a "New York Times"
bestselling author.

- You're gonna hear that a lot.
- 100% virgin wool. Very nice.

Thank you.

Hey, how do they know
that the sheep haven't--

- That's not what that means.
- Okay.

I have so much to teach you

now that you're not buying
your clothes at Costco.

Hey, remember, when I say
"Christmas surprise..."

I do the Christmas surprise.

Oh, they're gonna freak out.
It's gonna be the best one yet.

Hey, guys,

I know that Connor's usually
the one to make

big family gestures, but
it's been a pretty good year

for me, you know, as a...

- He's not gonna.
- Oh, he is.

"New York Times"
bestselling author.

Wait. Are you about to do,
like, a holiday gift thing?

I got us all tickets
to see "The Nutcracker."

- Wow.
- Ooh.

You're seeing
"The Nutcracker."

You're seeing "The Nutcracker."

You're seeing
"The Nutcracker."

Tom, that's so fun.
I love "The Nutcracker."

- That name sounds hilarious.
- Move over, bro.

Looks like there's
a new big spender in town.

Oh, yup.
Definitely no topping that.

Lupe, abort.

Honey, that's a great
Christmas surprise.

Oh, not--
no, not Christmas surprise.

What's this?

Oh, it's probably
just junk mail.

I'd just throw it out.

No way.
Connor, you're taking us

on a ski vacation to Aspen
for New Years?

Oh, my God.

- My, gosh.
- Hey, sorry, man.

I didn't mean
to steal your thunder.

No, that's all right.

Yeah, I guess old Tom
might've been bummed,

but new Tom is psyched.

I guess when you're on top,
things don't bug you as much.

I know, right?
It's awesome.

We can go skiing
and to "The Nutcracker."

- There's room for both.
- Yeah.

- Two equally cool things.
- Eh.

Yeah, equally cool.

I'm glad new Tom's so chill
because there's also this.

- Lupe!
- Fire in the hole.

Oh.

Come on, man.
Now, you're just showing off.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

Brian! Bri-guy.

So how's my favorite
money manager?

Really? Your favorite?

Can I tell people that because
that would be huge for me.

Whatever. So how are things?

Great.
You know what?

I think I have a real shot
with Linda in annuities.

Not what I'm asking about.

Oh, you meant with you?
Oh, uh, yeah. Um, not great.

Very funny, Brian.

Look, I wouldn't have called
you from our holiday party,

but it's time-sensitive

and, uh, well,
I drew the short candy cane.

We just got an update on
that investment you made

in the wind farm
and the update is...

that it's gone.

Gone? What do you mean?
Like the stock crashed?

More like a freak storm
literally blew

the windmills away and, um,

- I mean, now they're gone.
- So how much did we lose?

- Before I tell you
that number,

I think it's important
to remember that you have

many other investments
that didn't blow away

and then sink
to the bottom of the ocean.

Okay, so you're saying--
w-what are you saying?

We took a huge hit, but hey,
with investments like this--

I mean, you win some,
you lose some.

- Am I right?
- No!

Not me, Brian.
I'm all win.

That's kind of my thing.

Oh, that's a great line.
"All win."

Can I use that on Linda?

Here's what we're gonna do--
take all the money

from the short-term
liquid account

and put it in the fund
that I'm sending you right now.

- Okay, well,
are you sure about that?

'Cause that's gonna tie up
a lot of your money.

You know, you're gonna have to
tighten the belt

- for a little while.
- Yeah, no, I'm sure.

I put money in here before and
it always surges at year end.

It's like my own, personal
golden goose.

We'll be back in the black
by New Years.

Commit funds.

Commit funds. Boom.

You know what?
You've inspired me.

I'm gonna go all in on Linda.
First step, introduce myself.

Okay, good bye, Brian.

♪ ♪

Okay, the hotel is confirmed,
the plane is chartered,

and the custom
"Hayworth Holiday"

ski jackets will be waiting
for you all in Aspen.

Right. Aspen.

Oh, good news.
The helicopter you like

- is available for heli-skiing...
- Oh.

And yes, they can
serve lobster in the air.

- Oh.
- Though they strongly advise

- against hot butter.
- Oh, great.

Great.
Hey, Lupe, um...

how much is all this?

- What?
- Like, what's the,

- like, price?
- I...

I have no idea.

You've never
asked me that before.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

Just, um...just...

just disappointed
about the hot butter.

♪ ♪

both: Thank you.

Enjoy the sugar.

Christmas Eve is my favorite.

Christmas day is good,

but it takes so long
to open all the presents.

We don't have that problem
with our family.

Lucky.

My dad makes us
save the wrapping paper.

Hey, it's not about the
presents our parents get us.

It's what Uncle Connor
gets us.

I've been dropping little hints
about a PlayStation 5.

Like what?

Like telling him
I want a PlayStation 5.

I think he picked up on it.

- Oh, no.
- What's wrong?

Santiago, my contractor,
he just said our client

wants to start
right after the holidays.

Isn't that a good thing?

I'm just a little nervous,
you know?

It's a big leap for me.
And look at his Instagram.

- His work is so good.
- Ooh, back up.

I know.
That backsplash is insane.

No, I'm talking about
the insanely hot guy

standing in front of
the backsplash.

Oh, that's Santiago.

That's Santiago?

Oh, come on.
He's not that hot.

And I thought you were--
how do I put this?

- Into girls.
- I'm gay, not blind.

Connor,
should I open more wine?

Your family drink like fish.

Sup?

Oh, did you think
I was Connor?

That's hilarious.
I guess it's the new threads.

Well, I have been working out
a little bit.

- No, it's the threads.
- Ah, good one, Loop.

There it is.

Nope. Okay.

So many presents.

Yeah, I guess
I went a little overboard.

Well, who cares?
It's only money.

Who are you?

I know, right?
I guess this family

has two successful and
carefree Hayworth men now.

Give you one more shot at that.

No?

Okay, I'm gonna save this
for later.

Catcher in the Bri,
how we doing?

Not good.

Turns out Linda's married,

and she's pretty into it.

Oh, you meant with you, right.
Yeah, also not good.

What?
You got to be kidding me.

I wish.
She's been married six years,

but she doesn't wear a ring.

I guess it chafes
when she does cross--

- Brian.
- Oh, you meant with you again.

Sorry about that.
So yeah, I just stopped back

in the office to check on your
fund, and it is still down.

I don't get it.
That was my golden goose.

I suggest we just sell now,
we cut our losses.

and then we regroup
in the new year.

Yeah, I guess
I don't have a choice.

Oh, this is incredible news.

What? Stock's back up?

No, no, no.
Linda just texted me.

She has a sister.

Okay, good bye, Brian.

Can I please
have my phone back?

Oh, absolutely
is what I would say

if I didn't find
a shirtless pic of Santiago.

Did you know he's a triathlete?
I'd like to try athlete.

Okay, now it just feels like
you're messing with me.

A little bit.

- Denise!
- What?

- You liked a picture.
- No, I didn't.

Did I?
I was just trying to zoom in.

- It's from two years ago.
- Maybe it's not so bad.

Oh, really?
What would you think

if the person you just started
working with scrolled through

two years of pictures
and liked the one

where you were shirtless?

He's going to think
you want to smash.

- Stuffed mushroom?
- Yes, please.

- I'm just gonna unlike it.
- No, don't do that.

Too late. Why?

Because he can
also see the unlike

and sometimes the unlike
does more damage than the like.

Remember that picture of me
in the fedora?

Oh, you saw
that I unliked that?

You know, I really wanted
to be supportive,

but nothing about that worked.

You looked like
a street magician.

That's what I was going for.

Now, my new coworker's
gonna think I'm a perv.

Hey, don't say that.

He'll also think
you're indecisive.

♪ ♪

What are you wearing?

Oh, this?

Tom must've left it
when they were staying here.

They hoodie is surprisingly
comfortable.

I mean, say what you will,
but Kirkland knows

what they're doing
when it comes to loungewear.

Connor, are things that bad?

They're definitely not good,
Lupe.

I don't want to freak
the family out, but...

I don't think
we should do Aspen.

I'm sure things
will work out.

You've had
ups and downs before.

No, that's the thing.
I haven't, okay?

When it comes to the money,
with me, it's always been ups.

I can always see
the smart play,

work the angles, but what if...

what if I've lost
my business mojo?

You know, my bojo.

You're being ridiculous.

You will bounce back.

I know it.

Thanks, Lupe.
I can always count on you.

So what'd you come in here for?

I was just
printing something.

Right on.

- Is this a résumé?
- No.

Well, I cannot believe that

we'll be ringing in
the new year in Aspen.

All thanks to Connor.
Whoo, Aspen!

Yeah. Aspen.

So fun.

Although, in a way

aren't we having
just as much fun right now?

More fun than Aspen?

I mean, if you really
think about it,

what's the most fun part
of skiing?

Taking off your boots
at the end of the day,

having a hot chocolate
by the fire.

I mean, does anyone
actually enjoy

the skiing part of skiing?

- I love skiing.
- So do I.

Yeah, me too.

Tom doesn't.

He's so scared he'll get hurt,
he still says pizza

and french fries
the whole way down.

No. That was the old Tom.

Honestly, I can't wait
to get out there,

carve a line
in some fresh pow-pow

with the gnarly K2s
I just picked up.

Along with a book on ski terms.

Oh, awesome.

Awe-some.

- Man, so we all love skiing.
- Mm-hmm.

- Ding.
- Did you just say ding?

No, that was just a text alert
I got on my phone.

I wonder what it is.
Oh, no.

The conditions are bad.

I read the weather report.
It's supposed to snow all week.

Apparently, too much snow

is--is what it says

and they say the fresh snow
is the...

most dangerous.

- Also, someone saw a Sasquatch.
- Oh, the kids would love that.

Yeah, and for the record,

my book say that fresh pow-pow

is the best pow-pow.

Great.
Well, this is all working out.

You know, some people say
the true meaning of Christmas

is just being with your family,
but not this guy.

No, get me a chartered plane
and a five-star hotel

and some shellfish
at high altitude.

Who cares how much
it all costs, right?

Yay, Aspen!

♪ ♪

- Feels like something's wrong.
- Yeah, the indecision,

the nonsensical babbling,

I'd recognize it anywhere.

He sounds just like you.

Yeah, well...

The old me.

Hey, buddy, you okay?

Is there a waitlist
for the new Bentley?

Did the orangutan from
"Dunston Checks In" die?

No.

I mean, yeah.

Sammy died
in his sleep in 2010.

- So sorry.
- This can't be about Aspen.

I mean, everyone knows
you love skiing.

And Sasquatches.

Maybe I'm,

like, worried about
the environmental impact

- of a ski trip?
- Environmental?

- What is even happening?
- Connor...

I can't believe
I'm gonna say this, but

are you having money problems?

Yes.

Okay? Are you happy?

I lost some money.

- Connor, we had no idea.
- I'm so sorry.

Yeah, if you want,
I can kick in for the ski trip.

I'm doing pretty well,

you know,
as a "New York Times" be--

- No.
- Okay.

No, this is a little more
than ski trip money.

Well, what are
we talking about.

I mean...

do you need a loan?

Oh, Tom.

Thanks, man, I needed that.

And I appreciate the offer,

but this isn't the kind of loss
that you can cover.

Like, how much is it?

I don't think I should say.

Why don't you just
write it down?

♪ ♪

- Ay, Dios mío.
- It's too big.

- Is that a phone number?
- I'm gonna be sick.

Connor, why didn't you tell us
that you'd lost so much money?

I didn't know how.

It's never happened
to me before.

Honestly, I was embarrassed.

Oh, damn it,
that sip was like 30 bucks.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow.

Did you know your dad was
having money trouble?

We knew Q4 was going to be
rocky, but not like this.

I feel bad fishing
for that PS5.

I don't need it.

This house is full of stuff
we don't need.

Wait.

I just got an amazing idea.

We should rob a bank.

We should take the things
we don't need

and sell it online,

so my dad doesn't
need to worry about money.

That vase has
got to be worth something.

I'll grab the painting.

Connor, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say.

Yeah, me neither.

I do.
Cancel the trip.

You know, it's a drop in
the bucket, but it's a start.

Don't worry about us.
We'll be fine.

Like you said, best part
of skiing is taking off

your boots at
the end of the day,

having a cup of
hot chocolate by the fire.

Thanks, new Tom.

Word.

If you need anything else,
just let us know.

- Yeah, always.
- I appreciate that, guys,

but you don't have
to worry about me.

I'll be okay.
Things might be

a little tight for a while,
but I still have some money.

Like, how much?

Oh, I'd rather not--
I'd rather not say.

- Why don't you write it down?
- Yeah.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Are you kidding me?

That's the exact,
same number.

You had us worried
for nothing.

Okay, it's not about
how much I have,

it's about how much I lost.

I knew you guys
wouldn't understand.

Didn't these
used to be in a bowl?

♪ ♪

- I can't stop thinking about
the like, unlike thing.

Oh, come on.
What's the big deal?

The big deal is that Tom
could've used his book money

on anything,
and he used it to bet on me.

I don't want to ruin it
because the only contractor

that's willing to hire me
thinks that I want to tap that.

Yeah, that is a big deal.

I need Santiago to know

that I'm only interested in him
as a contractor.

Okay, how about we post
a lovey-dovey photo

of you and Tom on your feed

and then Santiago will think
you're in a happy marriage.

I am in a happy marriage.

Yes. Exactly.

Bring that energy to the photo.

Okay. Tom.

Honey, can I borrow you
for something?

Oh! Connor, get out of here.

- Ah, hey. What's up?
- Nothing.

Just wanted to say I love you.

Oh, thank you.

You know, I love you too.

I was just thinking about
the time that we went--

- We got it. We got it.
- Okay.

And #myangel,

#Iwillalwaysloveyou,

and done.
Whew.

Glad that's over.

I am so sorry
I got you in this mess.

Just got a comment.

- Oh, and another one.
- Oh.

And another.

"My condolences."

"Poor Tom, he will be missed"?

Oh, yeah. This post makes it
look like Tom died.

This is just gonna
ruin everything.

Maybe I should just
text Santiago

and explain the whole thing.

Yeah, that's probably
for the best.

"He held on for so long."

Oh, boy.

Well, it's official.

Cancelled Aspen.

Good, and you'll be fine.

You still have so much money.
What are you worried about?

It's not about
the money, Tom.

It's about me.
I'm worried I lost my bojo.

That's my business mojo.

Yeah, no,
I put that together.

What I did is I took the B
from business,

- I took the ojo...
- Right.

- From mojo...
- From--yeah. No, I got--

And if you combine them...

Wasn't that hard
to figure out.

I just have always
had a way with money.

You know, ever since
I was a little kid

and I first crushed you guys
in that "Monopoly" game.

Remember that?

That was the first time
I made you cry.

I was only seven, but I just--
I already had the touch.

- And now it's gone.
- Come on, man.

I'm sure this is
just a rough patch.

In no time you're gonna be
buying new companies,

laying off their employees, and
stripping them down for parts.

That's nice of you to say.

I just wish I believed it.

Well, I'm sorry for
ruining Christmas.

I'm gonna head up to bed
and finish off this night ham.

See you tomorrow.

Yikes. Looks like Connor's
still pulling a full Tom.

Right. Well, the old Tom.

Sure.

Well, it's a good thing
I'm the new Tom

'cause I think I know
how to fix this.

Oh, it's so gross.

♪ ♪

- Morning, sleepyhead.
- Morning, guys.

Come hit the slopes.

What's all this?

This is us enjoying the best
part of skiing right here.

Whew.
Got to get these boots off.

- I can't feel my feet.
- Hot chocolate?

Yes, please.

- How'd you come up with this?
- Easy.

I just thought about
what you'd do

and I did a much, much
less expensive version.

We have a surprise for you,
too, Daddy.

We sold some of the stuff
from around the house

- to make money for you.
- We made 72 bucks.

Ah, wow. Thanks, guys.

It was easy.

We sold some of the art
from the wall

and the dinosaur skull
you weren't using.

Really?

You--you sold that?

This is all great.
I mean, maybe I don't need

to crush it business
when I have you guys.

Who cares if I lost my bojo
forever, right?

"Maybe I don't need
to crush it at business"?

It didn't work.
He's still broken.

I still got some tricks
up my sleeve.

Hang on, buddy.

You didn't open
your first present.

All right.

- What could it be?
- No way.

- You serious?
- No. Is that...

it's Christmas.
It's gonna ruin the whole day.

- I'm sorry. It had to be done.
- Oh, wow!

Sarah threw mine out the window
last time we played.

- With good cause.
- Oh, that's such a--

that's such a fun gift to play
with the kids on another day.

- And he's already setting it up.
- I call top hat. Whoo!

- ♪ It's the most
wonderful time ♪

Oh, Denise,
take a ride on the Reading

- to $200 town.
- Oh, no.

It looks like
I'm running out of money.

- I'll have to stop soon.
- Damn it.

Welcome to Park Place.
We have a lovely hotel here.

Can I take your bags?
See, the odds of landing

- on Park Place or Boardwalk...
- Okay.

Are so low, it's like finding
a needle in a haystack,

but if you own the strip,
you own the whole haystack.

How do I make any money?

I only have
the Electric Company.

Trade Tom
for the Water Company.

- He's desperate.
- Come on, man.

Water and power's
a deadly combo, huh?

Huh.

Remind me to call Bri-guy

about the Burmese
hydropower project.

You did it.
You gave him his bojo back.

That's business mojo.

Yeah, no. No, I know.

All it took was a little brojo.

Brother mojo.

I don't follow.

♪ Long, long ago ♪

- Did Santiago respond?
- Oh, yeah.

Apparently,
he never checks Instagram,

so had I not texted him,

he never would've known
it happened.

"Glad your lesbian
sister-in-law liked my picture.

"Sorry to hear about Tom.

I only met him once.
He was clearly very sick."

- It's not ideal.
- Yeah.

I'll worry about it tomorrow.

- It's Christmas.
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- You ready?
- Tom, this is a very bad idea.

Absolutely.

But let's see
how this plays out.

Geronimo! Oh!

New Tom is down.

all:

- ♪ Wonderful time
of the year ♪

♪ There'll be much
mistletoeing ♪

- ♪ And hearts will be glowing ♪
- Oh, my God.

A framed copy of the "New York
Times" bestseller list.

- I love it.
- It's just a little something

to say thank you
for betting on me.

Well, you're gonna be amazing.

I mean, I just--I know it.
Has she told you about this

hot contractor
that she's working with?

- What?
- Hot?

- No.
- I mean, we're not just, like,

sitting around all day
just, like,

looking at pictures
of some shirtless guy.

Stop objectifying men, Tom.

Yeah, I mean,
don't be a part of the problem.

Get your mind
out of the gutter.

He could be someone's son.

Okay. Yeah.

Sorry.

Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas!

- Hey.
- Mom!

You made it.

Oh, no, not Mom.
I'm Santa Claus, of course.

Come on, Sarah.

- Pull up a seat.
- Prepare to get crushed.

Oh, no. Not "Monopoly."

No. No, no, no.
No, no.

Santa promised herself that
she would never do this again.

- Nice try, Sarah Claus.
- No.

- Come on.
- You're being very naughty.

No!