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‐ Chapter five‐‐like all families,
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00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,422
the Hayworths sharedtheir trials and tribulations.
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00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,966
Sarah was still lookingfor a full‐time job,
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00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,968
but she'd recentlygotten some freelance work.
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00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,470
Of course,her brothers were nothing
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00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,804
but thrilled and supportive.
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00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,097
‐ Please stop laughing.
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‐ I'm sorry.
It's‐‐it's kind of funny.
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00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,435
‐ That's, like, 100%
a real job?
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00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,728
‐ Yes!
Okay?
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00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,271
I am helping people
get their pets certified
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00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,940
as emotional
support animals.
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00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:26,068
‐ So let's just say, I want to
bring a racoon to Six Flags.
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00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,402
You have the power
to make that happen?
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00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,154
‐ [laughs]
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00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,114
‐ Okay, it's not what I want
to do for the rest of my life,
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00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,699
but it's a paycheck,
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00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,201
and Denise has been paying
for everything
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00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,369
the past couple months, so...
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00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,870
‐ Last time
I flew commercial,
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00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,413
I sat right next
to a giant tortoise.
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00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,874
‐ Okay, what did I miss?
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00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,334
Actually, I don't care.
Thanks.
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00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:45,045
‐ Guys, Kelvin
would like the floor.
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00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,422
For school, he has to do
a report on a family member
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00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,715
whose job he admires,
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00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,092
and he's figuring out
who to pick.
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00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,510
‐ Oh.
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00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,595
‐ Oh, well.
That can be a tough decision,
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00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,264
but I guess
if you want to learn
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00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,182
from a "New York Times"
best‐selling author‐‐
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00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,433
‐ I choose Uncle Connor.
‐ What now?
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00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,352
‐ My guy.
[grunts]
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00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,312
Uncle Connor for the win.
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00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,106
I will not let you down!
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00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,732
‐ Okay, sweetie.
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00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,318
Um, did you consider
anybody else?
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00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,945
‐ Nope.
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00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,446
I may not know what
Uncle Connor actually does...
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00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,991
‐ That's fine.
It's not clear.
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00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,243
‐ But he definitely
has the coolest job.
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00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,244
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Look at this place!
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00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,745
‐ Look at the place.
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00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,706
‐ Well, you know, Kelvin,
in ancient times,
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00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:24,167
they used to consider a writer
kind of the first cool job.
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00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,712
‐ Please stop before you use
the word "scribe."
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00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:30,048
‐ Kel, you know you can come
to work with me or Lupe
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00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,009
or even Uncle Tommy.
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00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303
‐ I was the last option?
‐ Ah, hi.
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00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,471
Sarah and I didn't even
make the list.
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00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,265
You know, what I do at home
is actually harder
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00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,766
than what I did
at the law firm,
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00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,476
but because I don't make
any dinero,
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00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,686
it's not considered a job.
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00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:45,522
‐ Actually,
I did just get a job.
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00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,357
Yeah, it's a mildly
unethical one, but still...
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00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,109
‐ Oh, is unethical, like,
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00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,612
a disqualifier
for this school‐project thing?
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00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,032
‐ ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
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00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,746
‐ Twins finally go to sleep?
‐ Yeah.
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00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,039
I just started telling them
about what I did for a living.
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00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,165
Put them right out.
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00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,416
‐ Still mad Kelvin
didn't pick you?
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00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,751
‐ Nah, no, look.
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00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:08,128
Sweetie, you see,
being a novelist
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00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,463
isn't just cool.
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00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,341
It's lit...erature.
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00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,551
Literature.
We'll workshop that.
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00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,678
And, yeah, I guess I'm a little
over‐sensitive about work.
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00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,139
I've been stuck on the same
stupid chapter for weeks.
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00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,058
‐ Honey, you've had
writer's block before.
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00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,392
You always get through it,
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00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,729
but if you aren't
working anyway,
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00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,272
could you watch
the twins tomorrow
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00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,732
so I can run some errands?
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00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,525
‐ Actually, they say
with writer's block,
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00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,402
the best thing to do
is to kind of stay on task.
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00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,237
‐ Honey, I don't need to know
your whole process.
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00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,656
Can you help out or not?
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00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,907
‐ Yeah, yeah.
No, yeah.
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00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,617
[children screaming and crying]
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00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,535
‐ Great, thank you.
‐ I can‐‐yeah.
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00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,417
Your mom seemed
a little annoyed, huh?
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00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,711
‐ She was just cooking dinner
while folding laundry,
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00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,630
and then she had
to ask you for help.
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00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,131
‐ Oh.
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00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,884
‐ And now she's changing
two diapers.
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00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,552
‐ You know what?
You're right, you're right.
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00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,262
Mom does so much
around here.
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00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:02,933
I got to start
helping out more.
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00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,226
Honey, with puzzles,
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00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,519
if you start
with the corner pieces,
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00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,062
it makes it a lot easier‐‐
‐ Dad!
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00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,772
‐ Okay, I'm helping.
I'm helping, okay.
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00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,733
[quirky music]
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00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,235
♪ ♪
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00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,237
‐ Hey.
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00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,363
‐ Hey!
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00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,698
One sec.
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00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,368
‐ Okay, okay, just come here,
just real quick.
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00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,911
Mmm.
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00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,287
‐ Yep.
Okay.
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00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,580
‐ Time to let go, Sarah.
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00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,082
‐ Just one more minute.
I'm not ready.
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00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,417
‐ Sarah.
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00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,918
‐ Okay, fine,
fine, fine, fine, fine.
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00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,378
‐ I know Connor may not be
the best mentor for Kelvin,
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00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,796
but I'm picking him up at 4:30.
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00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,714
How much damage can he do?
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Okay, 4:15.
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00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,301
‐ Okay, hey, buddy,
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00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,555
no matter what your uncle says,
money is not the solution.
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00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,640
It's the problem.
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00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,518
Remember who you are.
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‐ Okay.
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00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,857
‐ All right!
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00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:54,484
Get to hang out at my home
office on a school day?
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00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,778
This is gonna rule ass.
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00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,530
Sorry. Rule butt.
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00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,073
Hey, Kel, there's some
green juice in the kitchen.
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00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,159
You want to go knock back
some anti‐oxies?
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00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,244
‐ Yeah, I do.
‐ Go knock them back, bud.
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00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,288
[chuckles]
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00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,498
‐ [sighs]
‐ What?
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00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,667
‐ Just please don't send
my son home saying,
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00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,502
"Crushed it, bro."
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00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,504
‐ Okay, first off,
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00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,840
they're saying "bruh" now.
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00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,258
Second, what the hell, bruh?
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00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,843
Been super rude
ever since Kelvin decided
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00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,136
he wanted to be just like me.
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00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,763
‐ Okay, I don't know
where you got that.
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00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,306
That's not
at all what he said, so...
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00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,391
‐ Sarah, Connor's generously
sharing his time today.
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00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,602
‐ And my disciplined approach
to market risk informed
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00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,604
by levelheaded
financial analysis.
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00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,897
I'm not gonna corrupt your son.
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00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,274
‐ So you just got
a giant see‐through house
139
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,401
with ocean views
by never doing anything shady?
140
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,737
‐ [laughs]
That's a bay, genius!
141
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,197
We don't live in
"the Ocean Area"!
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00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,240
‐ Now we're yelling.
‐ And you want to talk shady?
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00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,367
You're the one helping
cat ladies cheat the system!
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00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,120
‐ Some of them are legitimately
scared to dine alone.
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00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,830
‐ Are they?
‐ Some of them are!
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00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,082
‐ Okay,
and now we're calming down.
147
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,585
Smell the flowers.
Cool the soup.
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00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,587
‐ What are you doing?
‐ This is a breathing technique
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00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,339
I use on my second‐graders
when they tantrum.
150
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,716
[both breathing deeply]
‐ Okay, there it is.
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00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,760
All right,
it's time to go, Lulu.
152
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,679
‐ Okay, have fun exploiting the
masses and raping the planet.
153
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,015
‐ Have a great day illegally
prescribing Shar Peis!
154
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,558
‐ I'll pick him up by myself.
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00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,896
‐ Okay, mi'jita.
Let's go, school!
156
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,397
Hey, thanks
for taking the boys.
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00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,441
‐ Ah, no problem.
Hey, you look good today.
158
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,319
‐ How do I usually look?
‐ Uh, no, no.
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00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,238
I'm just saying it's been
a long time since I've seen you
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00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,865
with jewelry that you
didn't find in a Happy Meal.
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00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,201
Hey, I did the laundry,
even though you didn't ask me.
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00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,494
‐ Camila, honey?
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00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,579
Could you draw your daddy
a gold medal?
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00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,832
‐ [laughs]
Ha, ha, I deserve that.
165
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,208
But I just want you to know,
166
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,709
I'm gonna start
stepping it up around here.
167
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,837
In fact, this is a list
of everything
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00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,214
that I am gonna take off
your plate today.
169
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,508
I guess I could start
by crossing off "do laundry."
170
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,176
‐ Impressive!
171
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,887
So you also did the four loads
in the babies' hamper?
172
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,014
‐ I wanted to save that
for later.
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00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,933
You know, give myself
a little treat?
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00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,477
‐ Okay, have a good day.
Te quiero. Camila, vámonos!
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00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,312
‐ Love you!
‐ Love you.
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00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,772
‐ Oh.
177
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,110
You know, the period after Dad
kind of seems like a choice.
178
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,946
‐ Andele, get in the car.
I'll see you in there.
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00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,448
[sneaky music]
180
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,535
[line trilling]
181
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,413
Hi. I'm running
a few minutes late.
182
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,039
Okay.
Thank you so much.
183
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,583
‐ Hey!
184
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,710
Do I use "permanent press"
on the twins' laundry?
185
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,796
Also, what is
"permanent press"?
186
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,381
You know what?
I'm gonna figure it out myself.
187
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,216
So no problem.
188
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,759
♪ ♪
189
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,053
‐ So what I do, Kelvin,
190
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:31,600
is a little thing I like
to call private equity.
191
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,685
Basically,
I take money from my company,
192
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:38,273
put it into other companies
to eventually make more money.
193
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,609
I also do a bit of,
uh, venture cap,
194
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,569
bit of day trading‐‐
got it?
195
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,322
‐ I definitely got the part
about more money.
196
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,781
‐ That's all you need to know.
197
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,950
‐ Then why's the diagram
so complicated?
198
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,911
‐ Because, Kelvin...
scented markers.
199
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,664
Yeah.
The brown one's root beer.
200
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,458
‐ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,I'm a boss now ♪
201
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,709
♪ It's in the way I walk ♪‐ ♪ The way I walk ♪
202
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,502
‐ ♪ I'm a boss now ♪
203
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,171
♪ It's in the way I talk ♪‐ ♪ The way I talk ♪
204
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,798
♪ I'm a boss now,dropping 50 grand, hey ♪
205
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,759
♪ I'm a boss now,bottles in my hand ♪
206
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,552
♪ Put another dubup in the record book ♪
207
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,304
♪ Bottom shook ♪
208
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,930
♪ Freshest in the business,ooh, they got to look ♪
209
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,767
♪ Celebrating every dayjust because we getting paid ♪
210
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,852
♪ Turning up and misbehave, goand get it, don't hesitate ♪
211
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:19,272
‐ Come on, you got to work
with me here a little bit, man.
212
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,316
Yeah, we can live with that.
213
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:22,984
[cell phone beeps]
214
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,819
Pizza's gonna be here
in 20 minutes.
215
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,363
‐ ♪ Told them allabout the new name ♪
216
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,573
‐ Whoo!
217
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,409
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
218
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,414
‐ These people need help,
you're gonna help them.
219
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,166
Hello, I'm Sarah.
220
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,210
Hello, I'm Sarah.
221
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,297
Hi, I'm Sarah.
How are you today?
222
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,341
‐ I guess I'm not too great.
223
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,218
I have terrible anxiety.
224
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,803
So how often would you say
225
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,846
that you suffer
from your anxiety?
226
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,890
‐ I guess whenever I don'thave DeeDee by my side.
227
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,141
‐ [chirps]
228
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,353
‐ Oh.
Oh, DeeDee is a parrot.
229
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,563
‐ DeeDee is a cockatiel.[bird screeches]
230
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,691
Are you even a therapist?
231
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,442
‐ [whispering] It doesn't
always feel like it.
232
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,820
[smooth music]
233
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,489
‐ Marina, you made it!
234
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,200
‐ Hi.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
235
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,285
[cell phone chimes]
Oh.
236
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,455
[chuckles]
237
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,499
This will just be one moment.
238
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,501
Husband problems,
you know what I mean?
239
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,670
‐ My husband died
two years ago.
240
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,839
‐ I remembered that
just as I said it.
241
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,426
♪ ♪
242
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,137
‐ Perfect.
243
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,431
Boys, we got work to do.
Hands in the middle.
244
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,933
[baby cooing]
245
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,978
Come on, be a team player.
246
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:43,106
Okay, one's good enough for me.
And go!
247
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,608
[Salt‐N‐Pepa's "Whatta Man"]
248
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,193
[grunts]
249
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,486
One, two.
250
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,197
Yeah.
[laughs]
251
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,117
♪ What a mighty good man,gotta say it again now ♪
252
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,369
♪ What a man, what a man,what a man ♪
253
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,954
♪ What a mighty good man ♪
254
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,248
♪ He's a mighty,mighty good man ♪
255
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,541
♪ So here's to the future ♪
256
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,168
♪ 'Cause we got throughthe past ♪
257
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,252
♪ I finally found somebodythat can make me laugh ♪
258
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,337
‐ Yeah.
259
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,715
‐ [laughs]♪ You so crazy ♪
260
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,759
♪ I think I wanna haveyour baby ♪
261
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,178
♪ What a man, what a man,what a man ♪
262
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,929
♪ What a mighty good man ♪
263
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,223
‐ Move Connor's divorce
back a chapter.
264
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,268
End that section
with Tom asking for the loan.
265
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,603
I know.
266
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,438
Why didn't
I think about that sooner?
267
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,023
[both gurgling]
268
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,816
Bon appétit!
269
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,861
‐ ♪ What a man,what a man, what a man ♪
270
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,863
♪ What a mighty good man ♪
271
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,199
♪ What a man,what a man, what a man ♪
272
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,658
♪ What a mighty good man ♪
273
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,285
‐ So willone of these certificates
274
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,204
cover multiple cats?
‐ Uh, no.
275
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,456
You need one certificate
for each animal.
276
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,626
How‐‐how many certificates
do you need?
277
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,419
‐ I would‐‐
278
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,296
I would have to count them.
279
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,548
I'll call you back.It's gonna be a while.
280
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,841
‐ Okay.
281
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,718
[sighing]
Oh, my God.
282
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,596
[cell phone ringing]
283
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,014
Hi, Lulu.
284
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,933
‐ Hey, Lulu.
How's work?
285
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,268
‐ Well, I learneda lot about iguanas.
286
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,313
And I made $62
287
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,523
after taxes.
[door closes]
288
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,149
‐ Ooh, yes!
Bring home the bacon.
289
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,693
‐ Yeah.
‐ Well, soy bacon for us.
290
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,238
I picked up Shamiah, and now
we are at Connor's house.
291
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,823
‐ Ah, great.
Bring Kelvin home
292
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,449
before he ends up
in a white‐collar prison.
293
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,992
‐ Well, at least
he'll have his own room there.
294
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,702
‐ [chuckles] Okay, bye.
‐ Okay, bye.
295
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,082
Kel?
Kel!
296
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,583
‐ Shh, Mom!
297
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:29,587
‐ No, Jerry, we had
a verbal contract in place,
298
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,673
and now you're getting
scared on me.
299
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,883
‐ We're trying to buy
40% of a tree care company,
300
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,593
but the owner
wants to weasel out.
301
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,387
‐ Do not make me the bad guy.
302
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,597
I swear to God, Jerry.
303
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,182
That's funny, Jerry!
304
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,851
‐ I don't know
what you learned here today,
305
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,435
but that is not how
we talk to people.
306
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:47,480
‐ What are you talking about?
He's got Jerry by the plugs!
307
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,773
‐ No.
‐ What?
308
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,025
‐ Oh.
God!
309
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,610
He went down to 20.
310
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,280
Slippery bastard!
Hey, Denise.
311
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,158
‐ Hey, everything okay?
‐ No.
312
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,202
I've tried everything
with this guy‐‐screaming,
313
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,204
yelling, shouting,
I even raised my voice.
314
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,372
‐ Ooh, yeah, I get it.
315
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,666
I work with seven‐year‐olds
all day.
316
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,252
You know what would work
better than getting loud?
317
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,920
‐ [sighs]
What?
318
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,841
‐ That is a really nice
shirt on you‐‐very flattering.
319
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,759
‐ Thanks, I just got it.
‐ Oh, it looks good, yeah.
320
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,511
Can I borrow
your car next week?
321
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,763
‐ Of course, yeah.
322
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,975
Oh, being nice, yes!
‐ Yeah.
323
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,351
‐ You want me to try that
with Jerry?
324
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,228
‐ No, I don't.
‐ Hey, Jer, real quick‐‐
325
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,063
I'm gonna put my operating
partner on the phone, okay?
326
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:32,066
‐ I've never really‐‐I don't‐‐
all: Mom, talk to Jerry!
327
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,776
‐ Hi, Jerry.
This is Denise.
328
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,528
Sorry about my partner.
329
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:40,325
Uh, he's just so passionate
about tree‐care equipment, yes.
330
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,951
And I can tell
you're still upset.
331
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,912
Okay, let's do some breathing,
Jerry, okay?
332
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,246
Smell the bread.
[inhales deeply]
333
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,664
Blow the bubbles.
[exhales deeply]
334
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,291
Good, Jerry.
Good.
335
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,918
You know,
I had an uncle named Jerry.
336
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,211
He was my favorite uncle.
337
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,213
He used to
call me "Niece Denise."
338
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,089
‐ She doesn't have
an Uncle Jerry.
339
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,133
‐ You know, Jer‐bear,
I am on your side.
340
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,802
Clearly we both love
the environment.
341
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,972
That's why we're
in the tree game, right?
342
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,601
So tell me what I got to do
to get you to sell us 30%?
343
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:10,271
60%.
Oh, oh.
344
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,732
Oh, you'll go to 35
for Niece Denise?
345
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,859
Okay!
I like hearing that.
346
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:18,112
And now all we have to do is...
347
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,656
ribbon dance.
348
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,991
Okay, it was good
talking to you. Bye.
349
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:25,036
‐ What?
[both laughing]
350
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:28,414
‐ Wow!
‐ Mom, that was amazing!
351
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,916
‐ You crushed it, bruh!
352
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,543
‐ Yeah!
I crushed it, bruh!
353
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,045
Ooh, that was exhilarating!
354
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,505
Is that why people
lie all the time?
355
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,756
‐ It's one
of the reasons, yeah.
356
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,341
How'd you do that?
357
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,884
‐ Oh, well, you catch
more flies with honey.
358
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,469
‐ Well, depending on how the
next quarter goes for Jerry,
359
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,012
you might've just made me
a lot of flies.
360
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,056
‐ Ooh!
[laughs]
361
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:48,226
‐ You want to make some more?
‐ Yeah.
362
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,563
[cell phone buzzes]
363
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:53,815
‐ Hey, hon.
364
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,400
‐ Hey, sweetie.
Errands ran long.
365
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,652
Do you think you could watch
the boys a little longer
366
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,237
and pick Camila up
from after‐care?
367
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,738
‐ Oh, yeah, come on,that's not gonna be a problem.
368
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:03,658
‐ Thank you.
How was your day?
369
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,868
‐ Yeah, it was
actually incredible.
370
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,288
Turning my brain off
to do housework
371
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,331
and watch the kids actually
got rid of my writer's block.
372
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,624
‐ Turning your brain off?
373
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,293
So what I do all day
is brainless?
374
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,669
‐ No!
No, no, no, no.
375
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:16,462
I'm saying I'm surprised
how much I got done.
376
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,047
The house looks great.
‐ So I guess
377
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,883
you're more efficient
and a better housekeeper.
378
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,510
‐ Oh, no, no, no, no.That's not what I'm saying.
379
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,555
‐ You know,all I can do is my best.
380
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,724
‐ You know, now that
I'm looking around the house,
381
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,517
it's actually still
a kind of a disaster.
382
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,936
I better go.
Okay, bye.
383
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,521
[sighs]
Okay, guys.
384
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,982
Now we got to make
the house less clean.
385
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,318
I know, Daddy sounds crazy.
386
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,069
That's what marriage
is sometimes.
387
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,321
‐ ♪ Ooh, what a man,what a man, what a man ♪
388
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,032
♪ What a mighty good man ♪
389
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,492
♪ Yeah, he's a mighty,mighty good man ♪
390
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,996
‐ I'll just redistribute
an artful amount of dust.
391
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,373
[grunts]
392
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,958
[babies laughing]
393
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,419
Daddy didn't really think
this one through, did he?
394
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,088
‐ ♪ What a man,what a man, what a man ♪
395
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,548
♪ What a mighty good man ♪
396
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:04,302
♪ I saidwhat a mighty good man ♪
397
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,137
You know what I'm sayin'?
398
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,723
♪ He's a mighty,mighty good man ♪
399
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,224
Y'all...
400
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,852
‐ Okay, you're all set.
401
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,687
‐ Really?Oh, you're so nice.
402
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,148
I know a lot of people thinkthis is all a bunch of hooey,
403
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,067
but if I couldn't take Gibleton the bus with me,
404
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,610
I don't thinkI'd be able to go to work.
405
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,153
‐ Oh.
406
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,821
‐ So thank you.
407
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,157
‐ Oh, you're so welcome.
408
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,868
‐ Unrelated, you can prescribebarbiturates, right?
409
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,411
‐ Nope!
‐ Uppers, downers?
410
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,829
Betties, Veronicas?
‐ Uh‐uh.
411
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,041
[cell phone rings]
‐ Hey, Lulu.
412
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,793
‐ Hey.
Are you guys on your way home?
413
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,044
‐ Uh, we may go late here.
414
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,505
‐ We, go‐‐go late?
[chuckles] What?
415
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,924
‐ Oh, I have another call.
How you doing?
416
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,550
‐ Hi, Miss Sarah.
‐ Lupe?
417
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,968
‐ Connor needed
Denise's help
418
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,221
with a Belgian
crypto situation.
419
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,516
‐ Okay, wait. I'm sorry.
Denise is helping Connor?
420
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,267
‐ Yes.
Apparently she's crushing it.
421
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,852
‐ Lupe, I need more espresso!
422
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,562
Jean‐Pierre,I know you're Belgian,
423
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,774
but you need
to quit waffling on me.
424
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:03,236
‐ Okay, the perfect amount
of mess.
425
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,363
Well, maybe one noodle more.
426
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:07,532
[quirky music]
427
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,908
‐ What are you doing?
‐ Oh, boy.
428
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,409
‐ You're putting pasta
on the wall?
429
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:13,079
‐ Uh, huh.
430
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,705
This is gonna sound crazy.
431
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,332
Well, you know what?
Maybe you're gonna love this.
432
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,835
I don't know.
Um, I got the house too clean.
433
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:22,713
I thought that might annoy you.
Then I made it too dirty again.
434
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,924
I knew that would annoy you.
Then I made it too clean again.
435
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,092
‐ Where's Camila?
436
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,385
♪ ♪
437
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,220
Did you forget to pick her up?
438
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,097
‐ No.
[chuckles]
439
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,184
On the plus side, I didn't
lose either of the twins,
440
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,228
so, you know...
441
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:38,604
‐ Great.
[door opens, slams]
442
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,567
‐ Vivek, we've been
through this.
443
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,527
Don't we trust
each other by now?
444
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,028
‐ Yes, Denise.
445
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,072
You led the horse to the water,
now drown him!
446
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:51,075
‐ What is going on?
‐ Shh!
447
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,743
‐ Leave while you still can.
448
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,246
‐ Oh, Vivek's line
of credit is almost up.
449
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,540
He's leveraged up
the you‐know‐what.
450
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,583
‐ Go in for the kill, Mom!
451
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,834
‐ I don't know
what's happening!
452
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:00,918
‐ Okay, here's what
we're gonna to do...
453
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:03,546
‐ Okay, enough.
‐ Oh, Lulu, don't‐‐
454
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,590
‐ Thank you, we're not
interested in your blood money.
455
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,258
[cell phone beeps]
‐ No.
456
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,510
‐ Sarah, that was for a company
457
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,889
that gives micro‐loans
to women‐owned businesses.
458
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,932
‐ Well, that's not the point.
What the hell is going on?
459
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,309
‐ Well, I came
to pick up Kelvin,
460
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,810
and Connor
couldn't close with Jerry.
461
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,687
And then he put me
on the phone with Jerry.
462
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:22,565
And I got Jerry up to 35%,
which is crazy!
463
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,858
‐ It's crazy.
‐ Crazy, can you believe that?
464
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,610
‐ No!
‐ Mom!
465
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,279
It's almost 9:00 a. m. in Tokyo.
The Nikkei's about to open!
466
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,615
‐ Nice, Kelvin.
467
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,576
‐ Connor, may I speak
with you privately, please?
468
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,785
[line trilling]
469
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,162
Now, Connor!
470
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,789
‐ Konnichiwa.
Yes, how are you?
471
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:41,000
‐ You know, I always thought
Denise was a little soft,
472
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,251
but now...
473
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,754
she's like the sister
I always wanted.
474
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,088
You know what I mean.
475
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,840
‐ Denise is soft.
What did you do to them?
476
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,051
‐ Weren't you just saying
you feel bad
477
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,303
because Denise is the only
one who's paying for anything?
478
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:55,681
Well, Shamiah
just made 90 bucks shorting
479
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,350
a Dutch biotech concern.
480
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,101
‐ I knew that you were gonna
corrupt Kelvin,
481
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,270
but now you went
and corrupted my whole family.
482
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,939
‐ Corrupt?
‐ Yeah.
483
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,815
‐ Oh.
484
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,108
Okay, I see,
you think what I do
485
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,652
for a living
has nothing to do with you.
486
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:08,903
‐ I should hope not.
487
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,112
‐ Well, let me tell you
something, Sarah.
488
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,531
When I invest
in a company like, say,
489
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,450
a mid‐sized tree‐care company,
490
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,577
that lowers the cost per unit
of their equipment.
491
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,371
Those savings get filtered
all the way down
492
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,082
from the manufacturer
to the consumer.
493
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,084
And Americans, with a little
more money in the bank,
494
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,003
are far more likely to vote
to fund social services,
495
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:29,090
services like your old job‐‐
496
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:32,260
the one where you got to help
all those kids who needed it.
497
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,762
Yeah.
498
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,639
‐ Are you trying to do
the cerulean blue speech
499
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,974
from "Devil Wears Prada"?
500
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,141
‐ I thought I could slip
that one by you.
501
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,476
It's a great movie,
though, huh?
502
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,061
‐ It's a great movie.
I've seen it 5,000 times.
503
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,771
‐ I mean, there's actors,
and then there's, like‐‐
504
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:44,855
‐ Meryl.
‐ Meryl.
505
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,941
‐ I mean, come on.
‐ Sarah.
506
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,777
‐ [sighs]
507
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,238
[keys clacking]
508
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,865
‐ Is he doing his homework?
509
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,660
Hey, Kel, you're already
working on your report?
510
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,037
I thought you usually wait till
the last minute on that stuff.
511
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,664
‐ Uncle Connor taught me
512
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,500
about the importance of
determination and discipline.
513
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,877
‐ [chuckles]
That's great, buddy!
514
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,088
‐ He called them
those sweet double Ds.
515
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,381
‐ Okay.
516
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,882
‐ I don't think
I said it like that.
517
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,968
‐ Lulu, I'm sorry
I got so carried away.
518
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,511
It was just such a rush
519
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,597
compared
to teaching second graders.
520
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,015
I mean, it's not every day
you make $85,000
521
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,517
in one phone call.
‐ You‐‐what?
522
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,478
‐ I lost it five minutes later,
but it was so much fun.
523
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,064
‐ You know what?
It's actually okay.
524
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,733
It's kind of nice to being
the level‐headed one for once.
525
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,109
‐ Oh, yes, look at you!
526
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,028
‐ Look at me!
It probably won't last long.
527
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,571
‐ Yeah, that makes sense.
‐ But we tried.
528
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,655
‐ We did try.
‐ We did.
529
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,658
[warm music]
530
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,826
♪ ♪
531
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,161
‐ Hi, everyone.
532
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,622
Welcome to my report
on "Connormetrics."
533
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,041
‐ Whoo!
‐ [whistles]
534
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,876
‐ I learned a lot today,
535
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,003
both from my uncle and my moms.
536
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,547
My uncle taught me
that it's nice to get paid,
537
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,383
but my moms taught me
that it pays to be nice.
538
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,968
♪ ♪
539
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,179
To be clear,
I mean paid both spiritually
540
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,848
and in that sweet, sweet cash.
541
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,099
‐ Oh.
542
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,893
‐ I'm so proud of him.
543
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,645
‐ So, uh, let me try
to understand
544
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,271
what was happening today.
545
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,940
‐ It's simple, really.
You married an insane person.
546
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,567
[laughs]
‐ Yeah.
547
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,611
‐ Look, I was worried that
I wasn't doing enough to help,
548
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,988
so I did way too much,
and then I tried to undo it,
549
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,865
and I did way too little,
but, uh...
550
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,076
[laughs] Look, I just‐‐
I saw that you were upset,
551
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,161
and I probably
should have asked why.
552
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,080
‐ Yeah, that would
have been a good idea.
553
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,539
‐ [chuckles]
554
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,166
‐ I wasn't running
errands today.
555
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,169
I stopped by my old law firm.
556
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,629
‐ Oh.
557
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,631
‐ Remember when everyone
was arguing
558
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,300
about who Kelvin should pick,
whose job was the coolest?
559
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,386
Nobody even mentioned me.
560
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,471
It's like no one thinks
of what I do as a job
561
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,431
or even remembers
I used to be a lawyer.
562
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,766
‐ [sighs]
I mean, I'm sorry.
563
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,309
I didn't pick up on that.
564
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,894
‐ It made sense for me
to stay at home
565
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,480
when your career was taking
off and I was burnt out.
566
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,565
Now it's been three years,
567
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,275
and, I mean, it's been great,
568
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,320
but also sometimes not.
569
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,947
‐ Yeah.
[both laugh]
570
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,740
You want to go back to work
at the firm?
571
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,410
‐ God, no.
I mean, I thought I did.
572
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,954
At first, I was excitedto put on business casual
573
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,831
and see old friends,
574
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,457
but then I rememberedthe 16‐hour days,
575
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,252
the office politics,and creepy Gary,
576
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,920
who always offered mea bite of his sub.
577
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,672
‐ Ugh.
578
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,842
‐ I might be ready to go back
to work, but, uh, not there.
579
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,301
Also, I asked,
and they're not hiring.
580
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,095
‐ [laughs]
581
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,639
Well, look, whatever you want
to do, I'm here to help, okay?
582
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,851
I mean, really help,
not destroy our entire house.
583
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,477
‐ Thank you.
584
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,187
You know, we shouldn't hide
things from each other.
585
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:32,606
‐ Absolutely. I might have
broken the washing machine.
586
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,525
‐ Sometimes I say
I'm taking a shower,
587
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:36,068
but then I just get my hair
a little wet,
588
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,486
and I go to sleep
on the bath mat.
589
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,904
‐ Ooh.
[laughs]
590
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,072
‐ Thank you.
Thank you.
591
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:43,242
Mwah, mwah.
[applause]
592
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,910
‐ You broke
the washing machine?
593
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,081
‐ Kelvin's report
was fantastic.
594
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,624
‐ Yeah, as a writer,
I was impressed.
595
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,460
Although the recap
of "The Wolf of Wall Street"
596
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:53,836
was more graphic
than I expected.
597
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,297
‐ Yeah.
‐ Oh, yeah, that was...
598
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,674
‐ Oh!
Lupe, you baked?
599
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,426
‐ Yes, and I made a box
600
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,344
and put a sticker
of the bakery on it.
601
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,388
‐ It's from me.
I‐I bought a pie.
602
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,182
‐ Oh, Sarah, that's so sweet.
603
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,142
‐ Yep, I used the $47
that I made
604
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,644
helping a rich 26‐year‐old
take her bulldog
605
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,022
to a podcasting internship.
606
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,857
‐ All right.
‐ Yeah.
607
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,901
‐ Hey, are you gonna
conference me in
608
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,194
if Jerry ever calls again?
609
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,653
Because I feel like I can wring
610
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,572
another 2% of blood
out of that stone.
611
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,532
‐ Denise, you're starting
to freak me out.
46772
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