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1
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[NARRATOR READS
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
2
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,820
MAN 1:
Houston, this is Condor.
3
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,948
We are doing an EVA of the payload.
4
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:16,201
We are about to present
the module with--
5
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,369
[BEEPING]
6
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,662
What the...?
7
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:22,082
Oh, my gentle Jesus!
8
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,419
Houston, we have a problem.
9
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:30,090
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Launch procedure commence.
10
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,136
[MAN 2 CACKLING]
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WOMAN:
Oh, yeah!
12
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,860
Oh, yes! Yes! Oh!
13
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:55,991
And I'm spent. Whoo.
14
00:01:56,408 --> 00:02:00,120
- Do you smoke after sex?
- I don't know, baby. I never looked.
15
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,626
- Whoo!
- Oh, Austin.
16
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,379
- What shall we do now?
- Well, I've got an idea.
17
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,798
- Why don't we shag?
- Again?
18
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,218
Sure, baby. We're only up to chapter 11
in the Kamasutra.
19
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,764
Don't you wanna try the Wheelbarrow
or the Praying Donkey...
20
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,183
...or the Chinese Shag Swing?
21
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,769
I'm gonna get us some more champagne,
Jungle Boy.
22
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:24,978
[TAPE REWINDS]
23
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,814
I'm gonna get us some more champagne,
Jungle Boy.
24
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,862
Are you okay?
25
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,114
I've never felt better, Austin.
26
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,409
All right, then.
27
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,996
I'm just gonna go watch a movie.
28
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,749
[MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
29
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Hey, In Like Flint.
That's my favorite movie.
30
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,181
Vanessa, what's going on?
31
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,269
I don't know what you mean, Austin.
I'm the same--
32
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[MUTED DIALOGUE]
33
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,148
You must--
34
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,067
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
35
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,277
Oh, my God!
36
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,117
Vanessa!
37
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,077
You're a Fembot!
38
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,870
VANESSA:
No shit, Sherlock.
39
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,542
Machine-gun jubblies?
40
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,253
How did I miss those, baby?
41
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,172
VANESSA: Perhaps next time
you should try foreplay.
42
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,800
Right. Oh, my God.
43
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,154
DR. EVIL [ON RECORDING]:
Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers.
44
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:02,367
A kamikaze bride from me, Dr. Evil.
45
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,589
Oh, thank God.
46
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,015
I can't believe Vanessa...
47
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,142
...my bride...
48
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,644
...my one true love...
49
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:33,690
...the woman who taught me
the beauty of monogamy...
50
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:37,527
...was a Fembot all along.
51
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:41,698
Wait a tick. That means I'm single again.
52
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,659
Oh, behave!
53
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,953
Yeah!
54
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,289
Yeah, baby, yeah!
55
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,041
Halt!
56
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,044
[GRUNTS]
57
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[GROWLS]
58
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,723
WOMAN:
Disgusting.
59
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,313
AUSTIN:
Yeah, baby, yeah!
60
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,203
Ooh.
61
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,581
Yeah.
62
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,968
Hey, how are you? Good to see you.
63
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,387
Good. Hey. Yeah.
64
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,472
WOMAN:
Revolting.
65
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,935
What's that? What's that? Oh.
66
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,604
Yes. Yeah, that looks good on you, man!
67
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,148
Hey, what's going on?
Good to see you guys.
68
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,818
Yes. Good to see you.
69
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,362
Yeah.
70
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:07,033
Rabbis, how are you? Nice meat.
Yes, nice meat.
71
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:08,702
Photo op.
72
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,036
[ALL SPEAK IN HEBREW]
73
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Yeah, baby.
74
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,190
[CHEERING]
75
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,747
GENERAL: Keep a close eye on
that Kreplachistan situation.
76
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,415
Sir.
77
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,880
AUDIENCE [CHANTING ON TV]:
Jerry, Jerry.
78
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,841
SPRINGER: Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much.
79
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,094
If you just joined us, today's topic is:
80
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,055
"My father is evil
and he wants to take over the world."
81
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,224
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
82
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,727
Okay, let's meet Scott Evil.
83
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,523
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
84
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,901
- Hi, Scott. Nice to have you with us.
- Thanks, Jerry.
85
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,736
Tell us about your father.
86
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,907
Well, my dad is the head
of a worldwide evil organization...
87
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,243
...with aspirations of world domination.
88
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,414
Wow, pretty serious stuff.
Where is he now?
89
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,960
He's, like, cryogenically frozen,
orbiting the Earth or something.
90
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,378
SPRINGER:
That's what you think.
91
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,463
But we have a surprise for you, Scott.
92
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,758
Okay, let's bring out Scott's father,
Dr. Evil.
93
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,260
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
94
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,596
What? I didn't-- What?
95
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,267
General, we've got a situation here.
96
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:41,646
What is it, sergeant?
97
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,231
DR. EVIL: Hello, Scott.
98
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,817
Daddy's back.
99
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,612
How could you do this to me?
On national television.
100
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,115
DR. EVIL: Well, throw me a fricking bone
here, Scott.
101
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,160
Why'd you run out on me?
102
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,121
Because you're not quite evil enough.
103
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,622
[AUDIENCE GROANING]
104
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,124
Well, it's true.
105
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,918
You're quasi-evil.
106
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,628
You're semi-evil.
107
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,589
You're the margarine of evil.
108
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,759
You're the Diet Coke of evil.
109
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,470
Just one calorie. Not evil enough.
110
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,388
What are you? Some kind of freak?
111
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,974
- Hey, shut up, ****off!
- Okay. Okay, come on.
112
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:21,311
- I'll kick your ***, punk! *****
- Bring it on, you skanky .
113
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,937
DR. EVIL: All right, all right. Come on.
114
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,315
No one talks to my son like that.
It's okay.
115
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,734
mother******* I
116
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,989
Yeah, ****! I'll kick your ***,
you ****ing ****sucker!
117
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,282
YOU piece of ~k~k~k~kl
118
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,829
You were born in your mother's ****,
icivkicicicicicici:
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00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,664
AUDIENCE: Jerry, Jerry.
DR. EVIL: I'm okay.
120
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:42,999
I'm okay.
121
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,169
All right, you were born
in ~k~k****~k ~k~k~k****!
122
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,422
- I'll ****ing kill you!
SCOTT: I'll kill you both!
123
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,175
DR. EVIL: There you go. Great.
124
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,345
There you go, I got your hood!
I got your hood!
125
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:58,098
Settle down. Okay, settle down.
It's okay. Okay, okay.
126
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,100
It's only a television show. Calm down.
127
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,019
- Okay, I'm all right. I'm easy.
- Okay. Everything okay?
128
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:06,731
- Get this jerk out of here.
- I'll give you a **** piece of ****--
129
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,274
YOU motherivkicicicic
130
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,278
He's biting me!
131
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,031
He's biting me! The ****er's biting me!
132
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,950
- k~k~k~k Off, "kivkic!
133
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,536
Give me that! The world is mine!
134
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,996
The world is mine, you *******I
135
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:28,837
Chh. Ah.
136
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,133
[R.E.M.'S "DRAGGIN' THE LINE"
PLAYS OVER CAR STEREO]
137
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,552
[DASHBOARD BEEPING]
138
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,471
COMPUTERIZED VOICE: You've got mail.
AUSTIN: Hello, Basil.
139
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,974
Hello, Austin. How was your honeymoon?
140
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:44,310
Well, it turns out
that Vanessa was a Fembot.
141
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,647
Yes, we knew all along, sadly.
142
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,234
Anyway, I have a new assignment
for you, Austin.
143
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,403
You're scheduled for a photo shoot...
144
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,739
...and one of the models
works for Dr. Evil.
145
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,158
Groovy, baby!
146
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,119
Shaguar, ho!
147
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,879
Show me to the models, baby.
148
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,007
Let the magic begin.
149
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,135
Who have we got today? Okay, great.
150
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,928
Austin, I've heard a lot about you.
151
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,890
I'm Rebecca Romijn.
I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
152
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:26,102
Well, of course you haven't had
the pleasure, Rebecca.
153
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,229
We just met, baby, yeah.
154
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,068
Who are you, baby?
155
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,862
Ivana.
156
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,281
Ivana Humpalot.
157
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,908
Excuse me?
158
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,784
Ivana Humpalot.
159
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:46,247
And "lvana" toilet made out of gold,
but it's just not in the cards, now, is it?
160
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,209
You know.
161
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,461
Okay, everyone. Let's get started.
162
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,796
Yes! Beautiful! Feeling it!
163
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,258
Let's get some smiles. It's all in here.
That's it. Yes.
164
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,927
Let's let the inside out.
165
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,303
Okay, you're an animal!
166
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,972
Yes! There we go! You're a tiger!
167
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,307
You're Tony the Tiger!
168
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,975
You're great!
169
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:09,062
Very good. Loving it.
Now you're a lemur.
170
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,273
Running as a pack. Yes, yes. We go left.
171
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,317
We go right. Yes, yes, yes.
172
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,111
There's a predator out in the jungle.
What's going on?
173
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,571
Burrow! Burrow!
174
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,490
You're a lemur! It's all you've got!
175
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,784
You don't have sharp teeth
capable of biting.
176
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,245
Make interconnected tunnels
like the Vietcong.
177
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,454
And look! Look, look!
178
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,581
I'm not even shooting you. It's crazy.
179
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,250
And I'm spent.
180
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,627
Right, that's a wrap, everyone.
181
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,337
Miss Humpalot.
182
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,089
Da, darling?
183
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,842
- Shall we?
- Give me moment.
184
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:51,980
MAN:
Dr. Evil...
185
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:56,526
...several years ago, we invested
in a small, Seattle-based coffee company.
186
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:02,031
Today, Starbucks
offers premium-quality coffee...
187
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,033
...at affordable prices.
188
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,786
Delish.
189
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,122
Dr. Evil...
190
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:14,877
...if we shift our resources away
from evil empires and toward Starbucks...
191
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,880
...we can increase our profits fivefold.
192
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,592
Number Two, I make the decisions here,
okay?
193
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,886
I demand a little respect.
194
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,056
Dr. Evil, you have a little of the--
195
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,975
Silence!
196
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:32,520
I will not tolerate your insolence!
197
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,063
Frau Farbissina.
198
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,565
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
199
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,734
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
200
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,027
How are things?
201
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:43,031
I have come to embrace the love
that dare not speak its name.
202
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,199
To my right is my lover.
203
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,493
We met at the LPGA tour.
204
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,538
Her name is Unibrau.
205
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,206
Right on.
206
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,543
Welcome, Unibrau.
207
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,921
Doctor, you...
208
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,923
- What?
- You have a little...
209
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,009
...milk nose mustache.
210
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,263
I know. I know, I know.
211
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,267
Meant to. It's how we drink it in Belgium.
212
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,727
It's called a Belgian Dip.
213
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:16,105
Dr. Evil, while you were frozen...
214
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,776
...we began a program to clone you.
215
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:23,112
- Cool.
- Send in the clone!
216
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,783
He is exactly like you in every way...
217
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:33,247
...except one-eighth your size.
218
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,084
DR. EVIL:
Breathtaking.
219
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,544
I shall call him...
220
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,047
...Mini-Me.
221
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,929
Your stock is rising, Number Two.
222
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,809
Come, Mr. Bigglesworth.
223
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,814
Mini-Me, are you hungry?
224
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,440
Something to eat?
225
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:00,733
Not even a Hot Pocket?
226
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,486
An Eggo?
227
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,115
No. No, we don't gnaw on our kitty.
228
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,616
Leave-- No.
229
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,743
Leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth alone.
230
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,538
Just love him and stroke him.
231
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,043
As you know, every diabolical scheme
that I've hatched...
232
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:22,171
...has been thwarted by Austin Powers.
233
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,507
And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
234
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,677
You never kill him when you get the chance,
and you're a dope?
235
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,430
No,no,no.
236
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,390
No, no.
237
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,017
[SQUIRTING]
238
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,437
Down. Down, Mini-Me.
239
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:43,151
No. Austin Powers always defeats me
because he has mojo.
240
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,527
MOjo?
241
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,404
Mojo.
242
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:50,533
The libido, the life force,
the essence, the right stuff.
243
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,536
What the French call a certain...
244
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,455
...I don't know what.
245
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,540
Ladies and gentlemen...
246
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:01,335
...I've developed a device
for traveling through time which I call...
247
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,546
...a "time machine."
248
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,716
Using this "time machine"...
249
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:11,137
...I'm going to go back to the '60s
and steal Austin Powers' mojo.
250
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,722
If you have a time machine...
251
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:17,268
...why not just go back and kill Austin
when he's sitting on the crapper?
252
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:21,355
How about no, Scott, okay?
253
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:26,194
Why not use your knowledge of the future
to play the stock market?
254
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,070
We could make trillions.
255
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,741
Why make trillions when we could make...
256
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,327
...billions?
257
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,247
A trillion is more than a billion, numbnuts.
258
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,082
All right, zip it.
259
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,918
- You can't even--
- Zip it!
260
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,544
Zip.
261
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,714
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
ex-"zip it" A.
262
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,760
- Number Two, would you please--?
- Look, I'm Zippy Longstocking.
263
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,180
[SINGING] When a problem comes along
You must zip it
264
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,515
[IMITATES WHIP CRACKING]
265
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,183
Zip it good
266
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,351
Frau, would you--?
267
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,436
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
268
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,897
Subtitle: Zip it.
269
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,190
- I'm just trying--
- Zip!
270
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,776
Would you like to have
a suckle of my zipple?
271
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,736
- I want you-- Stop--
- Zip! Eh.
272
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:09,987
- Zip it! Zip it!
SCOTT: This--
273
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,197
[DR. EVIL MUMBLING]
274
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,573
SCOTT:
You know--
275
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,783
You're like a child.
276
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,537
Talking-- If you-- Just-- One time--
277
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,373
Zip it. Unveil the time portal.
278
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:32,969
As you know...
279
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,805
...Austin Powers was frozen in 1967.
280
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:40,226
Therefore, I will travel to 1969...
281
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,937
...two years after he was frozen.
282
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,730
He'll be helpless.
283
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:49,443
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about
to travel through time. I bid you adieu.
284
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,154
[GRUNTS]
285
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,494
I'm okay. I'm okay.
286
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,331
Not turned on, I suppose. Yeah.
287
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,333
Do you think you could...?
288
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,919
Yeah, thanks.
289
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,171
Come, Mini-Me!
290
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,511
Don't be scared, Mini-Me.
291
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,188
Ah.
292
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:30,443
Dr. Evil. Welcome to 1969.
293
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,737
Thank you, Number Two.
294
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,740
You look so healthy and youthful.
295
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,074
Well, thank you.
296
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:41,662
FARBISSINA: Heil, doctor.
- And Frau, you look so...
297
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,834
Right.
298
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,546
You know, Dr. Evil, I received your memo
from the future.
299
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,715
Your new lair is up and running.
300
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,718
Is it a hollowed-out volcano,
like I asked for?
301
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,888
Of course.
302
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,265
DR. EVIL:
Good.
303
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:04,393
Then it's all going perfectly to plan.
304
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,938
[CACKLING]
305
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,507
Yeah, baby, yeah!
306
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,972
When did you get the clapper?
307
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:46,352
November, 1964.
Dutch East Indies, shore leave.
308
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,355
Do you know how we keep warm
in Russia?
309
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,606
[CHORTLES]
310
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:52,608
I can guess, baby.
311
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:53,901
We play chess.
312
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,112
I guessed wrong.
313
00:19:56,278 --> 00:20:00,533
It takes a keen intellect to play chess,
Mr. Powers.
314
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,870
I assume you know how to play.
315
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,789
[CHUCKLES]
316
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,040
Of course, baby.
317
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,627
[GAS PS]
318
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,147
What to do, what to do.
319
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,041
[MAKES SQUIRTING NOISE]
320
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,346
Let me ask you a question.
321
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,682
And be honest.
322
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,143
Do I make you horny, baby?
323
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,352
Do I?
324
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,772
Do I make you randy?
325
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,148
Yeah?
326
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,027
No more games.
327
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:21,322
Dr. Evil sent me hereto kill you...
328
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,199
...but I find you so...
329
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,660
- Sexy and...
- Yes. Yes.
330
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,163
Just make love to me.
331
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,792
Now, Austin Powerovich. Hurry.
332
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,712
[IVANA GASPS]
333
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,799
You are hairy, like animal!
334
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:42,718
Grr, baby. Very grr.
335
00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:45,346
Make love to me, monkey man.
336
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:52,228
Dr. Evil, I don't understand how
we can hope to steal Austin Powers' mojo.
337
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,063
We've tried this before.
338
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,817
The security around Powers is foolproof.
339
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:02,571
Ah, but this time we have an operative
inside the Ministry of Defense.
340
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:03,823
Really?
341
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,034
Yes, really.
342
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:12,248
He's stealing Austin Powers' mojo
even as we speak.
343
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,582
Really?
344
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,336
Really.
345
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,881
He's a disgruntled Scottish guard...
346
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:24,426
...known for his lethal temper
and his unusual eating habits.
347
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,262
He weighs a metric ton.
348
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:27,721
His name:
349
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,099
Fat Bastard.
350
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:36,105
We've had reports there's a spy
in the Ministry of Defense.
351
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:38,607
The contents of this room
are vital to the country.
352
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,193
Be on special alert.
353
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:42,945
Yes, sir!
354
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:46,615
And try to lose some weight,
for God's sake.
355
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,534
Yes, sir!
356
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:54,456
Mr. English Colonel,
telling me to lose weight.
357
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:58,127
Oh, I'm a hard case, he says.
358
00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:02,965
Well, listen up, sonny Jim, I ate a baby!
359
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,300
Oh, aye.
360
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,469
Baby: The other Other White Meat.
361
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,472
Baby: It's what's for dinner.
362
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,652
[LAUGHING]
363
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:38,959
Oh, I've got your mojo now, sonny Jim!
364
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:44,840
- What's wrong?
- Crikey!
365
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,676
I've lost my mojo.
366
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:55,142
BASIL: Austin, the test results confirm
that you've lost your mojo.
367
00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:57,645
And it couldn't come at a worse time.
368
00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:01,690
We have evidence that Dr. Evil
has developed a time machine...
369
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,818
...and has traveled back to the year 1969.
370
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:08,113
Luckily, we too have developed
a time-travel device...
371
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,492
...to transport you back to the '60s.
372
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:16,163
This is where you input your destination.
373
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,833
Wait a tick.
Basil, if I travel back to 1969...
374
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,669
...and I was frozen in 1967...
375
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,171
...presumably,
I could go visit my frozen self.
376
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,966
But if I'm still frozen in 1967...
377
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,885
...how could I have been unthawed
in the '90s and traveled--
378
00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:32,012
Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
379
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:36,558
I suggest you don't worry about
this sort of thing and just enjoy yourself.
380
00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:40,229
- That goes for you all too.
- Yes.
381
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,897
This is smashing, Basil.
382
00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:48,821
I'll go back to the '60s, recharge my mojo,
defeat Dr. Evil and be back in time for tea.
383
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,907
Swinging '60s, here I come, baby, yeah!
384
00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:53,534
Move! Move!
385
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,285
Move!
386
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:58,747
No, Austin, no! No!
387
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,499
Sorry.
388
00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:03,127
- I bet that's expensive.
MAN 1: Quite all right.
389
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,089
AUSTIN: Oh, sorry, here we go.
MAN 2: Yes, yes.
390
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,298
MAN 3: Almost.
- Sorry!
391
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:09,800
MAN 4:
Easy, easy.
392
00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:11,635
God damn barrels, Austin.
393
00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:14,179
Yeah, see, here we go, here we go.
All right.
394
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,598
Yeah, baby, yeah!
395
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,102
Godspeed, Austin Powers.
396
00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:33,657
[STEPPENWOLF'S "MAGIC CARPET RIDE"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
397
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,914
I'm home.
398
00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:52,301
Austin Powers!
399
00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:55,179
- Austin Powers?
- Yes.
400
00:25:56,221 --> 00:26:00,267
I'm back in the '60s, baby, yeah!
401
00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:05,564
Yeah, all right, there you are.
402
00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:16,075
Yeah!
403
00:26:18,827 --> 00:26:23,332
Hey, hey, hey.
Get your hands off my heinie, baby.
404
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:44,812
Who are you today, baby?
405
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:48,357
My name is Robin Swallows.
406
00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,193
Swallows. That's an interesting name.
407
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:53,946
Maiden name is Spitz.
408
00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:56,698
Well, which is it, baby?
Spitz or Swallows?
409
00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:05,666
[THE GUESS WHO'S "AMERICAN WOMAN"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
410
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,265
[GROWLS]
411
00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:49,710
Those are skintight.
How do you get into those pants, baby?
412
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:52,004
You can start by buying me a drink.
413
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,262
Hm. Nuh-uh-uh-uh.
414
00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:05,517
I want. I want.
415
00:28:24,453 --> 00:28:27,873
You better play it cool.
Your friend works for Dr. Evil.
416
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,793
And just who do you work for, baby?
417
00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:36,965
ROBIN:
Tell me, Mr. Powers.
418
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:38,717
Do you swing?
419
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,636
Are you kidding, baby?
420
00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:44,348
I put the "grr" in "swinger," baby!
421
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,809
Then why don't you come right...
422
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:49,645
...over...here.
423
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:51,438
Okay, I could do that.
424
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:54,524
Easy.
425
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:55,734
Cheeky.
426
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:05,452
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
427
00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:08,580
Prepare to die, Powers!
428
00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:11,917
Use the machine gun!
429
00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,677
[GUN CLICKS EMPTY]
430
00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:24,179
Say goodbye, Powers!
431
00:29:26,265 --> 00:29:28,642
Use the bazooka!
432
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,186
No!
433
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,272
No!
434
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:38,193
[SCREAMING]
435
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:44,658
The fall will kill us both, Powers!
436
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:56,169
You can't win, Powers.
437
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:00,590
Why won't you die?
438
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:05,846
[HORN HONKING]
439
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:07,055
Care for a ride?
440
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:14,062
AUSTIN:
Go! Go! Go!
441
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:16,106
Go!
442
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,236
Austin Powers, I presume.
443
00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:22,946
Powers by name...
444
00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:26,158
...Powers by reputation.
445
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,368
Felicity Shagwell, CIA.
446
00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:32,414
Shagwell by name,
Shag-very-well by reputation.
447
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,124
Oh, behave.
448
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,836
Not if I can help it.
449
00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:43,633
Yes. Ooh.
450
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,516
You know what's remarkable...
451
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:56,271
...is how much England looks
in no way like southern California.
452
00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:14,247
Crikey!
453
00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:17,292
We've got company.
It looks like one of Dr. Evil's assassins.
454
00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:28,929
[SCREAMING]
455
00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:42,150
AUSTIN:
Steady now. Steady.
456
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:44,069
Hands up.
457
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:47,572
Do you remember me, Austin Powers?
458
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:54,162
I don't recall your name,
but your fez is familiar.
459
00:31:57,666 --> 00:31:59,793
My name is Mustafa.
460
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,796
And I'm the man
who will be killing you now.
461
00:32:02,963 --> 00:32:04,339
[YELLING]
462
00:32:16,226 --> 00:32:17,310
Who sent you?
463
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:18,603
You'll have to kill me.
464
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,105
Who sent you?
465
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,023
Kiss my ass, Powers.
466
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,525
Who sent you?
467
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,694
Dr. Evil.
468
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:29,364
- That was easy.
- That was easy.
469
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,032
Why did you tell us?
470
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:33,743
I can't stand to be asked
the same question three times.
471
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,287
It just irritates me.
472
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,372
Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
473
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,584
Why would he tell me?
I'm just one of his low-level functionaries.
474
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:44,379
- Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
- You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell.
475
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:48,008
- Where's Dr. Evil hiding?
- Damn. Three times.
476
00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:51,178
He's hiding in the secret volcano lair.
477
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:54,514
Where's Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
478
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:57,225
I spit at that question!
479
00:32:57,392 --> 00:33:00,061
Do I really have to ask you
two more times?
480
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,688
Go to hell, Powers.
481
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:03,690
Fine.
482
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:08,904
Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
483
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:11,907
- I will take it to the grave with me!
- Aha!
484
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:13,992
You have to answer.
He asked three times.
485
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,077
No,no,no.
486
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:20,081
The second question was, "Do I
really have to ask you two more times?"
487
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:23,418
That would be the first question
in a new line of questioning...
488
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:26,171
...and wouldn't count
in the other line of questioning.
489
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:27,589
Yeah, he's right.
490
00:33:27,756 --> 00:33:29,925
I'm just trying
to get information from you.
491
00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:33,386
I don't need any consistency
in the questions, do I?
492
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:36,515
No, no. You're preaching
to the converted. I-- Uh!
493
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:38,642
Well, if I'm preaching to the converted...
494
00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:41,728
...why are you being so slavish
to the three-question form?
495
00:33:41,895 --> 00:33:44,940
You're not even looking at me, man.
Now you're just being rude.
496
00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:46,775
You're not listening, man.
497
00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:48,777
[SCREAMING]
498
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:51,279
[THUDS]
499
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:53,281
Oh, crikey.
500
00:33:56,952 --> 00:34:00,288
Well, Austin, I think this time
you may have finally met your match.
501
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:01,873
Oh, no, baby.
502
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,418
I've beaten Dr. Evil before,
and I'll beat him again.
503
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,546
I was talking about me.
504
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:13,510
[AUSTIN LAUGHS]
505
00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:15,303
AUSTIN:
Yeah.
506
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:19,266
MUSTAFA: Hello, up there.
I seem to have fallen down a cliff.
507
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:22,102
I'm still alive, but I'm very badly injured.
508
00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:25,188
I think my legs might be broken,
but I'll try to stand up.
509
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:26,690
[CRACKING AND GROANING]
510
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:28,358
Yes, they are broken.
511
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:32,320
Perhaps you could toss me a Band-Aid
or some antibacterial cream.
512
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:36,241
I'm in an extraordinarily large
amount of pain.
513
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:40,996
The bone has gone through the skin.
I fear it might be gangrenous.
514
00:34:41,162 --> 00:34:45,500
The wound is beginning to smell
a little like almonds, which is not good.
515
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,876
Please?
516
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:48,420
No one?
517
00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,171
- Sorry.
- I'll try the other leg.
518
00:34:50,338 --> 00:34:51,756
[CRACKING AND GROANING]
519
00:34:55,969 --> 00:34:57,304
[HORN HONKING]
520
00:34:57,470 --> 00:35:01,016
Two of my assassins are dead.
I will not tolerate failure.
521
00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:05,854
I'm the man who will maintain
the dignity of this evil organization.
522
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:08,023
What the hell was that?
523
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:09,983
FARBISSINA:
Volcanic eruption!
524
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:23,496
May I present to you
my spy in the Ministry of Defense:
525
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:26,791
Fat Bastard.
526
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:31,004
First things first. Where's your shitter?
527
00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:34,549
I've got a turtle head poking out.
528
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:36,718
Charming.
529
00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:38,678
I'm not kidding.
530
00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:42,932
I got a crap on deck
that could choke a donkey.
531
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:45,685
It's squidgey.
532
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:50,190
Christ, I'm getting all emotional from it,
you know?
533
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:52,734
Right...
534
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:56,571
Fat Bastard,
could I have my mojo, please?
535
00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:58,573
Where's my money?
536
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:01,034
DR. EVIL:
All right, give him his money.
537
00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:06,748
Jesus Christ, he's tiny.
538
00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:10,835
I've had bigger chunks of corn
in my crap.
539
00:36:12,212 --> 00:36:14,339
Wait a minute.
540
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:17,550
He kind of looks like a baby.
541
00:36:17,717 --> 00:36:20,595
Come here, I'm gonna eat you!
542
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:23,807
I'm bigger than you,
I'm higher on the food chain.
543
00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:26,101
Get in my belly!
544
00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:28,228
Come on!
545
00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:31,106
You're lucky, wee man!
546
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:34,317
Can I have a hug?
547
00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:36,778
Dr. Evil.
548
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,906
Let me make you a deal, all right?
549
00:36:40,073 --> 00:36:42,617
You get the mojo, you keep your money...
550
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:45,286
...and I'll get your baby.
551
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:50,041
Right...
552
00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:53,628
[SINGING] I want my baby back, baby back,
baby back ribs
553
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:57,590
I want my baby back, baby back,
baby back ribs
554
00:36:57,757 --> 00:36:59,134
Excuse me.
555
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:03,138
Chili, baby back ribs
556
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:06,725
Dr. Evil, what are we going
to do about Powers?
557
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:10,729
Austin Powers
is no longer a threat to me.
558
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:13,565
I have his mojo.
559
00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,483
[CACKLES]
560
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:53,521
All right, everyone. You're dismissed.
561
00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,232
Private time.
562
00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:31,226
Dr. Evil, I don't want
this to interfere with our work.
563
00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:33,561
Don't worry, mama.
564
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:36,147
Things won't get weird.
565
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:46,407
One for me.
566
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,829
And one for my homeys.
567
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:54,249
Herr Doctor.
568
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:03,091
[m GERMAN]
569
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:25,572
Hello.
570
00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:27,490
So, what happened here?
571
00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:29,784
Apparently a rogue agent
named Fat Bastard...
572
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:32,537
...infiltrated the unit
assigned to guard your chamber.
573
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:36,374
He used some sort of nerve gas.
These men don't remember a thing.
574
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:40,962
Captain, crosscheck Fat Bastard's profile
with the mainframe at Langley.
575
00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:43,256
- Yes, ma'am.
AUSTIN: Can I borrow that, please?
576
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,800
Thank you. Yes, Austin, yes, yes.
577
00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:49,137
Look at me.
I'm a sexy bitch, baby, yeah.
578
00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:50,805
You're a Popsicle, yes.
579
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,474
Yes. No! No!
580
00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:55,476
And I'm spent.
581
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,979
Let's go, baby. Yeah!
582
00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:03,902
Hey there. How are you?
583
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:19,000
Come on, Felicity, come on.
584
00:40:48,988 --> 00:40:50,698
Yeah, babe! Whoo!
585
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:52,659
Yeah! Whoo!
586
00:40:52,825 --> 00:40:55,203
- Shall we sit down? Yeah.
- Yeah.
587
00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:58,665
AUSTIN: This is great.
- Groovy.
588
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:02,669
So, Austin, what's the future like?
589
00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:05,755
Well, everyone has a flying car...
590
00:41:05,922 --> 00:41:08,299
...entire meals come in pill form...
591
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:12,220
...and the Earth is ruled by
damned dirty apes!
592
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:13,721
Oh, my God.
593
00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:15,723
Had you for a second.
594
00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,560
You can have me for even longer,
if you want.
595
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,731
You're one groovy baby...
596
00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:26,359
.“baby.
597
00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:30,446
Too many “baby's?
598
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,242
Don't you dare move.
599
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:42,166
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach
and Mr. Elvis Costello.
600
00:41:45,878 --> 00:41:49,090
[SINGING]
What do you get when you fall in love?
601
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:52,051
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
602
00:41:52,218 --> 00:41:54,095
- Would you care to dance?
- I'd love to.
603
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:57,056
That's what you get for all your trouble
604
00:41:57,223 --> 00:42:02,270
I'll never fall in love again
605
00:42:05,231 --> 00:42:08,609
I'll never fall in love again
606
00:42:10,278 --> 00:42:15,116
Don't tell me what it's all about
607
00:42:15,283 --> 00:42:19,203
Because I've been there
And I'm glad I'm out
608
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:22,999
Out of those chains
Those chains that bind you
609
00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:27,045
- That is why I'm here to remind you
- Ooh!
610
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,548
What do you get when you fall in love
611
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:34,469
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
612
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:38,264
So for at least until tomorrow
613
00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:45,146
I'll never fall in love again
614
00:42:46,147 --> 00:42:52,528
I'll never fall in love again
615
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:54,614
You're quite good on your feet.
616
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:57,158
I'm even better off my feet.
617
00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:12,298
Oh, behave, baby.
618
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:19,931
- Hi.
- Hi.
619
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,849
Hi there.
620
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:26,187
- How are things?
- Good, Herr Doctor. And you?
621
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:27,480
Great.
622
00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:29,148
Great.
623
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:31,359
Just taking a break?
624
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:35,780
Try the Hot Pockets.
They're breathtaking.
625
00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:40,910
- It got weird, didn't it?
- Yeah.
626
00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,620
I knew it.
627
00:43:43,162 --> 00:43:44,789
You haven't called.
628
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,207
Look, we talked about this.
629
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:49,127
We promised each other
it wouldn't get weird.
630
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:52,630
I can't let my feelings for you
interfere with my taking over the world.
631
00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:54,215
You know that.
632
00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:57,718
You know, I will never love another man.
633
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,139
Yes, that's true.
634
00:44:01,681 --> 00:44:03,182
Yeah.
635
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:07,145
Dr. Evil, I'm late.
636
00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:09,689
- No, you got here right on time.
- No.
637
00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:13,651
I mean I'm late.
638
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:22,243
SCOTT:
Dad.
639
00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:24,328
Scott.
640
00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:26,414
Hey there, sport.
641
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:28,624
What are you doing here?
642
00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:32,461
I was just thinking that maybe
we can work all this out.
643
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:35,256
After all, you are my father.
644
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:39,552
Scott, you had your chance, okay?
645
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,054
I already had someone
created in my image.
646
00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:44,265
He's evil, he wants
to take over the world...
647
00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:47,852
...and he fits easily
into most overhead storage bins.
648
00:44:48,561 --> 00:44:49,604
SCOTT: Him?
DR. EVIL: Yes.
649
00:44:49,770 --> 00:44:51,647
Look at him. He's crazy.
650
00:44:51,814 --> 00:44:54,609
He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing.
651
00:44:56,402 --> 00:44:58,237
He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
652
00:44:58,404 --> 00:44:59,739
Probably.
653
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,200
I love you.
654
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:03,784
I love you.
655
00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:16,047
I am a sexy bitch, yes.
656
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:19,634
Felicity, make yourself at home, baby.
657
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,928
What do you think of my shag pad,
darling?
658
00:45:22,094 --> 00:45:24,388
It's amazing, Austin.
659
00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:30,228
Wait a tick.
660
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,861
That's how my mojo was stolen.
Fat Bastard.
661
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:41,155
Uh-oh.
662
00:45:41,322 --> 00:45:45,785
She's a professional agent.
She's not interested in shagging.
663
00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:49,497
Please, God.
Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.
664
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:52,500
FELICITY:
Austin, I'm waiting.
665
00:45:58,714 --> 00:46:01,968
How about one of
your world-famous massages?
666
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:06,347
You mean a sensual massage?
667
00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:10,685
Right, then. Okay...
668
00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:12,770
Here we go. Yes.
669
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,855
Yes.
670
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:21,362
Oh, wait a minute.
Something's itching me.
671
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,031
That's better.
672
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,825
Crikey!
673
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:36,127
How does that feel, baby?
674
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:37,795
Lower.
675
00:46:38,170 --> 00:46:40,923
How does that feel, baby?
676
00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:43,217
What?
677
00:46:43,384 --> 00:46:46,053
You don't have to be cute with me.
We're way past that.
678
00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:48,014
We are?
679
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:50,308
What do you think?
680
00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:53,561
Listen, Felicity...
681
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:56,480
...I'm sorry.
682
00:46:57,398 --> 00:46:59,066
I can't do this.
683
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:01,861
I have to go.
684
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:07,199
Is it me?
685
00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:11,245
I can't explain.
686
00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,756
[BEEPING]
687
00:47:22,715 --> 00:47:25,426
Hello, Agent Shagwell. Where's Austin?
688
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:28,679
I must've said something wrong,
so he just left all of a sudden.
689
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:33,684
Listen, Felicity. I don't want you
getting too close to Austin.
690
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:36,062
It's not meant to be.
691
00:47:36,228 --> 00:47:38,147
I don't get too close to anybody, Basil.
692
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:41,567
- My interest is purely professional.
- Good.
693
00:47:41,734 --> 00:47:44,445
Then you won't mind tracking down
Fat Bastard tonight.
694
00:47:44,612 --> 00:47:45,613
No problem.
695
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:50,326
We need you to plant this homing device
on him by any means necessary.
696
00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:51,619
No problem.
697
00:47:51,952 --> 00:47:53,746
Keep up the good work.
698
00:47:53,913 --> 00:47:57,625
Remember, by any means necessary.
699
00:48:15,101 --> 00:48:16,644
Look at yourself.
700
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:20,147
You used to be so virile.
701
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,442
You were a swinger, man.
702
00:48:24,193 --> 00:48:26,570
And now you're nothing.
703
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,158
But at least it can't get any worse.
704
00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,161
Well, surprise, surprise, huh?
705
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,622
Look at that meal.
706
00:48:36,789 --> 00:48:38,541
I'm dead sexy.
707
00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:41,335
Look at my sexy body.
708
00:48:41,502 --> 00:48:42,670
Oh, yeah.
709
00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:45,131
Oh, look, I'm like a singer.
710
00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:48,342
[SINGING]
Sexy man, sexy man
711
00:48:48,509 --> 00:48:51,262
Eating like a sexy man can
712
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:52,763
By the way...
713
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,141
...would you like some chicken?
I've got more.
714
00:48:55,307 --> 00:48:56,684
No, thanks.
715
00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,563
Let's see, what have we got here?
I'm done with that.
716
00:49:00,729 --> 00:49:02,356
All right.
717
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:05,025
All right, then.
718
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:06,694
I'll just put this down here.
719
00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:14,702
Remember, by any means necessary.
720
00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,537
Must've eaten them already.
721
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:18,664
Ooh!
722
00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:22,126
Frisky, are we?
723
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:24,462
- Give it up!
- Ah!
724
00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:30,050
Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin
phase two of our evil project.
725
00:49:30,217 --> 00:49:32,887
Or is it phase...? I don't know phases.
726
00:49:33,053 --> 00:49:38,726
Anyways, this is the phase in which
we put a giant "laser" on the moon.
727
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:43,647
As you know, the moon rotates
around the Earth, like so:
728
00:49:49,737 --> 00:49:53,574
When the moon reaches
its appropriate lunar alignment...
729
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:56,577
...it will destroy Washington, D.C.
730
00:49:57,077 --> 00:50:01,499
You see, I've turned the moon
into what I like to call...
731
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:03,876
...a "death star."
732
00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:05,544
RAUGHS]
733
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:08,380
- What?
- Nothing, Darth.
734
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:09,715
What did you call me?
735
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:12,092
No, nothing. Rip-off!
736
00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:14,887
Bless you.
737
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:17,848
Anyways, the key to this plan
is the giant laser.
738
00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:21,852
It was invented by the noted
Cambridge physicist Dr. Parsons.
739
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:26,649
Therefore we shall call it
"the Alan Parsons Project."
740
00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:29,109
Oh, my God.
741
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:30,611
What now?
742
00:50:30,778 --> 00:50:34,949
The Alan Parsons Project
is a progressive rock band in 1982.
743
00:50:35,115 --> 00:50:38,744
Why don't you just call it
"Operation Wang Chung," ass.
744
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,704
- Well, what should we...?
SCOTT: Nothing.
745
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,207
I'm sure "Operation Bananarama"
will be huge.
746
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:44,959
- What are you saying?
- If you--
747
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:46,877
- Shh!
- Trying to be hip--
748
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,129
Www.Ssh.com.
749
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:52,049
- Dot-org.
- You're so--
750
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:55,886
Dr. Evil, if we could put aside
the family squabbling for a moment...
751
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,973
...I think we can get down
to some serious business here.
752
00:50:59,139 --> 00:51:00,724
- Really?
- Yeah.
753
00:51:00,891 --> 00:51:02,643
I don't like that insolent tone.
754
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:04,311
NUMBER TWO: I meant nothing by it.
DR. EVIL: No, no.
755
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:07,690
- You want to run things here? Is that it?
- No, not at all.
756
00:51:07,856 --> 00:51:10,401
You wanna be daddy?
Is that it, Number Two?
757
00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:12,152
You wanna wear the daddy pants?
758
00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:15,114
- Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry?
- I don't think so.
759
00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:18,325
- You gonna cry? You gonna cry?
- What are you--?
760
00:51:18,951 --> 00:51:20,661
Are you gonna squirt some?
Are you gonna cry?
761
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,121
[CRYING]
762
00:51:22,288 --> 00:51:24,999
Yeah, see? You're gonna cry, huh?
You're a big man now, huh? Yeah.
763
00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:27,001
Thought so.
764
00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:49,565
Felicity.
765
00:51:49,732 --> 00:51:50,774
Austin.
766
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:53,193
About what happened last night...
767
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,113
- That's okay. You don't have to explain.
- No, no, no.
768
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,282
You don't understand. You see...
769
00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:02,661
...I've lost my mojo.
770
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:06,874
- So that's why you...?
- Yes, yes.
771
00:52:09,001 --> 00:52:10,711
I thought you didn't like me.
772
00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:13,964
Oh, no, baby. You're very shagadelic.
773
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,050
I just didn't wanna fall in love again...
774
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:19,219
...and I thought you'd never love me
without my mojo.
775
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:21,388
It's not you. You're fab.
776
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:25,684
You're switched on.
You're a bit of all right, yes.
777
00:52:26,393 --> 00:52:30,230
That is so great.
There's something I should tell you too.
778
00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:33,359
Last night, I planted a homing device
on Fat Bastard.
779
00:52:33,525 --> 00:52:37,154
Smashing, baby. Then we can track down
Fat Bastard, get my mojo...
780
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:41,742
...go back to my place, hop on
the good foot and do the bad thing.
781
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:45,454
But there's more. In order to get close
to Fat Bastard, I had to--
782
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,583
Oh! Hello, hello. The signal's coming
through. He's at Paddington Station.
783
00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:51,585
Let's g0!
784
00:52:53,712 --> 00:52:55,047
AUSTIN:
We're close, baby.
785
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:58,926
FELICITY: This way. Straight.
No, no, left. Through here.
786
00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:04,556
We've got him.
Private, bring up the ram.
787
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:11,230
Go, go, go!
788
00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:13,023
MAN:
Where is he?
789
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,609
Oh, my God!
790
00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:18,612
Fat Bastard left a floater!
791
00:53:18,779 --> 00:53:23,951
In the name of all things sacred,
that is the most foul-smelling thing ever!
792
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:25,786
Somebody flush it down.
793
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:27,371
No, no. Nobody touch anything.
794
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:30,332
We have to get this sample to the lab
to be analyzed.
795
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:33,836
I'm gonna get it.
796
00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:45,389
Austin, there you are.
Has the sample been analyzed?
797
00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:50,310
Cor, baby.
You look very shagadelic, yeah.
798
00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:55,607
But do we really have to be here, Felicity?
I mean, it's so boring.
799
00:53:55,774 --> 00:53:57,735
I don't believe in science.
800
00:53:57,901 --> 00:54:00,821
When it comes to the spy game...
801
00:54:00,988 --> 00:54:02,781
...to me, it's all instinct.
802
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:09,747
BASIL: Hello, everybody.
- Hello, Basil.
803
00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:11,832
The results are in.
804
00:54:11,999 --> 00:54:14,835
We've discovered trace elements
of a rare vegetable...
805
00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:18,630
...found only on one island,
here, in the Caribbean.
806
00:54:18,797 --> 00:54:20,048
Whoop-deeded.!
807
00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,843
What does it all mean, Basil?
808
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:28,056
It means that this is the location
of Dr. Evil's lair.
809
00:54:28,223 --> 00:54:30,100
Smashing, Basil.
810
00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:31,643
Cor.
811
00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:34,521
This coffee smells like shit.
812
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:39,318
It is shit, Austin.
813
00:54:40,027 --> 00:54:42,696
Oh, good, then it's not just me.
814
00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:48,619
It's a bit nutty.
815
00:54:48,786 --> 00:54:51,580
[PEOPLE GROANING]
816
00:54:59,213 --> 00:55:00,798
Excuse me, Dr. Evil.
817
00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:03,967
I have to speak to you
about this Mini-Me.
818
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,385
DR. EVIL:
He's not fitting in?
819
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:08,722
Is he giving off too much
of a creepy Oompa-Loompa vibe?
820
00:55:08,889 --> 00:55:10,474
NUMBER TWO:
No, it's just that...
821
00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:12,184
...he bites.
822
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,230
He's a biter.
823
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:21,109
What's wrong, Mini-Me?
824
00:55:21,276 --> 00:55:23,403
Something you wanna tell us?
825
00:55:24,947 --> 00:55:27,741
Teething. Yeah.
826
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:31,662
Get me the president
of the United States of America!
827
00:55:32,704 --> 00:55:36,041
MAN: He's on, he's on.
- What do you want, Dr. Evil?
828
00:55:36,208 --> 00:55:38,210
Mr. President, in 12 hours...
829
00:55:38,418 --> 00:55:42,673
...I will destroy Washington, D. C.
with this giant "laser."
830
00:55:44,091 --> 00:55:46,426
What the--? Jesus.
831
00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:48,804
DR. EVIL:
Mini-Me.
832
00:55:48,971 --> 00:55:51,098
Stop humping the laser.
833
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:52,933
Okay. Honest to God.
834
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:57,771
Why don't you and the giant "laser"
get a fricking room, for God sakes?
835
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,606
Mr. President.
836
00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:01,984
After I destroy Washington, D.C...
837
00:56:02,150 --> 00:56:05,737
...I will destroy another major city
every hour, on the hour.
838
00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:08,115
That is, unless, of course, you pay me...
839
00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:13,579
...one hundred billion dollars.
840
00:56:18,166 --> 00:56:21,044
Doctor Evil, this is 1969.
841
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:23,964
That amount of money
doesn't even exist.
842
00:56:25,632 --> 00:56:29,845
That's like saying,
"I want a kajillion-bajillion dollars."
843
00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:33,015
Come on, Mr. President...
844
00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:35,309
...show me the money.
845
00:56:35,475 --> 00:56:36,727
Show you what money?
846
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:39,646
"Show me the money!
Show me the money!"
847
00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:43,108
"You had me at 'hello."' Tear.
Nothing? No?
848
00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:46,194
Psst. It's 1969.
849
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:49,323
Jerry Maguire won't even come out
for another 3O years.
850
00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:52,576
Nobody knows
what you're talking about, ass.
851
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:56,788
Scott, Daddy's working. Okay?
852
00:56:56,955 --> 00:57:00,584
And when you're in the main chamber,
try and use the big-boy voice, okay?
853
00:57:01,293 --> 00:57:03,003
Thank you.
854
00:57:03,503 --> 00:57:05,923
Mr. President, allow me to demonstrate...
855
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:09,509
...the awesome lethality
of the Alan Parsons Project.
856
00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:11,678
Fire the laser!
857
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:19,519
PRESIDENT:
Damage report! Damage report!
858
00:57:20,187 --> 00:57:23,357
It's okay. It's all right. Come on.
859
00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:27,194
Actually, that was just footage
from the movie Independence Day...
860
00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:30,113
...but the real laser
would be a lot like that. Yeah.
861
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,365
Scar)'-.
862
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:34,451
Now, Dr. Evil--
863
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:38,038
Talk to the hand, because the face
don't want to hear it anymore.
864
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,707
What hand? Talk to your hand?
865
00:57:40,874 --> 00:57:43,794
You ain't all that
and a bag of potato chips.
866
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:45,379
What are you talking about?
867
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:48,882
Don't go there, girlfriend. Mm-hm.
868
00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:51,343
Whose girlfriend?
869
00:57:51,510 --> 00:57:53,679
Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mofo.
870
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:57,516
I had to pop a cop because he
wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown.
871
00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:00,143
No? I heard that somewhere.
872
00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:03,230
You're an idiot.
873
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:08,110
Mr. President,
I think we have an understanding.
874
00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:09,403
Bye-bye.
875
00:58:09,861 --> 00:58:13,490
Dr. Evil, what are our plans
regarding Austin Powers?
876
00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:18,036
Austin Powers?
He's the snake to my mongoose.
877
00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:20,872
Or the mongoose to my snake.
878
00:58:21,039 --> 00:58:24,751
Either way, it's bad.
I don't know animals.
879
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:27,170
But I do know this:
880
00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:29,840
This time, it's personal.
881
00:58:30,590 --> 00:58:32,384
Kill him.
882
00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:39,933
AUSTIN:
There's Dr. Evil's island.
883
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:15,302
Let's set up camp.
884
00:59:15,469 --> 00:59:19,056
AUSTIN: Be careful with that bag.
There's explosives in it.
885
00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,559
This could be dangerous.
886
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:36,156
[SINGING]
What if God was one of us
887
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:40,994
Just a slob like one of us
888
00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:44,581
[BABBLING]
889
00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,051
Well done. Very good.
890
00:59:56,218 --> 00:59:58,845
Dr. Evil. That was fantastic.
891
00:59:59,012 --> 01:00:00,680
Thank you, Number Two.
892
01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:02,182
I wrote that. Yeah.
893
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:05,352
Dad, he put this in my bed.
894
01:00:05,519 --> 01:00:08,230
- Who?
- Your stupid Mini-You.
895
01:00:08,396 --> 01:00:11,191
He put roadkill in my sheets!
896
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:13,193
DR. EVIL:
What--? Mini-Me.
897
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:16,029
Don't you ever do that again!
You hear me?
898
01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:18,532
Don't you ever do that again!
899
01:00:19,157 --> 01:00:20,784
I can't stay mad at you.
900
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:23,245
Look at that ponem.
901
01:00:24,246 --> 01:00:28,041
Dr. Evil's headquarters
is right over that next ridge.
902
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,127
- Let me look.
- Yeah-- Ugh!
903
01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:32,504
Damn it. How do we get in?
904
01:00:32,671 --> 01:00:33,713
Hello, Mommy.
905
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,050
Mommy, can I have some chocolates?
I want some Mars Bars.
906
01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:39,970
- Austin. Austin!
- Don't smack my bottom, Mommy!
907
01:00:41,346 --> 01:00:42,973
Sorry, love.
908
01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:45,976
I got stuck in your dirty pillows.
909
01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:48,019
FELICITY:
Let's look at the map.
910
01:00:49,354 --> 01:00:50,647
AUSTIN:
Oh, great.
911
01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:54,442
FELICITY: What's our plan?
AUSTIN: According to this map...
912
01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:57,404
...the entire island
is crawling with Dr. Evil's guards.
913
01:00:57,571 --> 01:01:00,907
I wanna make sure the explosives
didn't get wet, but I can't find them.
914
01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:03,034
Look in the bottom.
915
01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:05,829
Okay. I'll dig a little deeper.
916
01:01:05,996 --> 01:01:07,914
Wow, this bag is really full.
917
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,209
AUSTIN:
Just keep digging, darling.
918
01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,753
FELICITY:
I'll just feel around for them.
919
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:20,051
Good Lord, Austin. What sort of things
do you keep in here?
920
01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:23,597
AUSTIN: Anything that catches my fancy.
MAN: My God.
921
01:01:23,763 --> 01:01:24,764
AUSTIN:
Give it a good tug.
922
01:01:26,975 --> 01:01:28,435
FELICITY:
Oh. Do we really need this?
923
01:01:28,602 --> 01:01:31,688
I'll ask you not to open that inside,
thank you very much, okay?
924
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,773
Oh, my God.
925
01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:36,776
FELICITY: Oops. It went off.
- Yes.
926
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,612
It does that from time to time.
927
01:01:38,778 --> 01:01:40,071
FELICITY:
Ugh! Yuck.
928
01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:41,281
Yeah, that's nasty.
929
01:01:41,448 --> 01:01:42,449
[FELICITY COUGHING]
930
01:01:42,616 --> 01:01:44,618
Yeah, sorry about that.
931
01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:46,453
FELICITY:
Smelly.
932
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:48,997
These people make me sick.
933
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:51,124
AUSTIN:
Can you snap me a beer?
934
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:56,254
FELICITY: Ah!
AUSTIN: What is it?
935
01:01:56,421 --> 01:01:59,216
FELICITY: It's a gerbil.
How did that get in your bag?
936
01:02:01,801 --> 01:02:03,970
I don't know.
937
01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:07,974
Dr. Evil.
938
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:11,436
We have a problem.
Austin Powers is on the island.
939
01:02:11,603 --> 01:02:13,355
Bring him to me...
940
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,273
...alive.
941
01:02:16,524 --> 01:02:17,567
You.
942
01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:21,780
Hit it!
This is a very sensitive subject.
943
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:26,159
["JUST THE TWO OF US (DR. EVIL MIX)"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
944
01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:36,169
Yeah.
945
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:41,132
[SINGING] From the moment I heard Frau
Say I had a clone
946
01:02:41,299 --> 01:02:43,718
I knew that I'd be safe
'Cause I'd never be alone
947
01:02:43,885 --> 01:02:46,429
An evil doctor shouldn't speak
Aloud about his feelings
948
01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:48,765
My hurt and my pain
Don't make me too appealing
949
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:51,351
I'd hoped Scott would look up to me
950
01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:54,104
Run the business of the family
951
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:56,481
Head an evil empire
Just like his dear old dad
952
01:02:56,648 --> 01:02:58,858
Give him my love
And the things I never had
953
01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:01,444
Scott would think I was a cool guy
954
01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:03,947
Return the love I have
Make me want to cry
955
01:03:04,114 --> 01:03:06,825
Be evil but have my feelings too
956
01:03:06,992 --> 01:03:09,119
Change my life with Oprah
And Maya Angelou
957
01:03:09,286 --> 01:03:11,913
But Scott rejected me
(Test la vie
958
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,165
Life is cruel
Treat you unfairly
959
01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,710
Even so
A God there must be
960
01:03:17,127 --> 01:03:19,170
Mini-Me, you complete me
961
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:24,426
Yeah
962
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:28,096
Just me and you
963
01:03:36,896 --> 01:03:38,189
You and I
964
01:03:50,702 --> 01:03:52,537
FELICITY:
You've got this packed really tight.
965
01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:54,664
Are you okay?
966
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:57,459
Yeah, I just got a bit of a back cramp,
that's all.
967
01:03:58,460 --> 01:04:00,420
Just keep packing it in.
968
01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,213
God.
969
01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:05,175
I found the explosives.
Help me check them.
970
01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:07,093
You're surrounded!
Drop your weapons!
971
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,179
Hands UP!
972
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:12,515
Move out!
973
01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:18,063
DR. EVIL: Ladies and gentlemen,
in just a few moments...
974
01:04:18,229 --> 01:04:21,441
...we're gonna place a giant "laser"
on the moon.
975
01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:26,613
From my "death star,"
I will destroy every city on the planet.
976
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,947
Get out of it!
977
01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:29,366
Ah.
978
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:34,871
Mr. Powers, Ms. Shagwell,
welcome to my hollowed-out volcano.
979
01:04:35,038 --> 01:04:37,332
This is my associate, Fat Bastard.
980
01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:43,129
Felicity, I think you two may
have already "met."
981
01:04:43,296 --> 01:04:44,547
Unfortunately.
982
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:48,551
Oh, is that all the thanks I get
for the night of hot sex?
983
01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:51,930
I'm dead sexy.
984
01:04:52,097 --> 01:04:53,306
You were crap.
985
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,641
[AUSTIN LAUGHING]
986
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:57,644
Yes. In your dreams.
987
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:05,235
Felicity would never sleep with you.
988
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:07,987
Right?
989
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:11,741
I did what I had to do. I'm a secret agent.
990
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,493
What?
991
01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:18,248
Aw . Boo-hoe.
992
01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:19,833
[FAT BASTARD LAUGHS]
993
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:22,419
All right, that's enough, Fat Bastard.
994
01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:26,297
As much as I like seeing Powers
in agony, and I do...
995
01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:29,342
...the thought of you naked is just gross.
996
01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:32,345
You can't stop me now, Mr. Powers.
997
01:05:32,846 --> 01:05:34,597
I have your mojo.
998
01:05:34,764 --> 01:05:37,684
- My mojo...
- And I'm taking it with me to the moon.
999
01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:40,478
Put them in the jail cell!
1000
01:05:40,854 --> 01:05:44,774
My mojo!
I'll get you, Dr. Evil, I'll get you!
1001
01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:47,527
Oh, look at me,
I'm shaking in my little space boots.
1002
01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:49,529
I want my mojo!
1003
01:05:49,696 --> 01:05:53,032
- Give back my mojo! I'll get you, Dr. Evil.
- Great plan, Einstein.
1004
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:56,786
Well, you're gonna put them in a cell
with one inept guard and they'll escape.
1005
01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:59,289
God, you do this every time.
1006
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,917
You know, Scott...
1007
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,044
...I've been a fricking evil doctor...
1008
01:06:05,211 --> 01:06:08,923
...for 30 fricking years, okay?
1009
01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:11,676
Cut me some fricking slack.
1010
01:06:12,260 --> 01:06:14,012
You forget, Scott.
1011
01:06:14,179 --> 01:06:16,181
We're in a volcano.
1012
01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:19,476
We're surrounded by liquid-hot magma.
1013
01:06:21,769 --> 01:06:23,062
What are you drawing?
1014
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:28,109
It's just a goodbye card, that's all.
1015
01:06:29,068 --> 01:06:30,945
It's sweet.
1016
01:06:38,912 --> 01:06:40,747
DR. EVIL: Hey, back off.
- Get him! Get the baby!
1017
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:43,208
- Back off!
NUMBER TWO: Simmer down. Simmer down.
1018
01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:45,084
FAT BASTARD:
Get in there! Gnaw on him!
1019
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,086
He's my posse.
1020
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:48,713
0K8)'-
1021
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:51,424
You take special care of him.
1022
01:06:51,591 --> 01:06:53,676
He's my special boy.
1023
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:55,261
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Attention.
1024
01:06:55,428 --> 01:06:56,930
Prepare for launch.
1025
01:06:57,096 --> 01:06:58,598
[HORN HONKING]
1026
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:03,102
Repeat, all technicians
to launch positions.
1027
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,938
Gentlemen...
1028
01:07:05,104 --> 01:07:07,732
...I'm about to go to the moon.
1029
01:07:07,899 --> 01:07:11,319
Initiate prelaunch sequence.
1030
01:07:11,486 --> 01:07:14,113
Main rocket engine ignition--
1031
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:17,116
Frau. Begin the countdown.
1032
01:07:17,283 --> 01:07:19,077
Five! Four!
1033
01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:21,037
- Three! Two--
- Frau.
1034
01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:22,956
Begin the countdown at 30.
1035
01:07:24,832 --> 01:07:25,875
Thirty!
1036
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:30,421
Twenty-nine, 28, 27...
1037
01:07:30,588 --> 01:07:32,757
...twenty-six, 25...
1038
01:07:33,383 --> 01:07:36,261
...twenty-four, 23...
1039
01:07:36,427 --> 01:07:39,597
...twenty-two, 21
1040
01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:41,975
...twenty, 19...
1041
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:43,560
...eighteen...
1042
01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:46,938
...seventeen, 16...
1043
01:07:47,105 --> 01:07:50,441
...fifteen, 14, 13--
1044
01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:55,655
You know what?
When the doors close, just say "go." Better.
1045
01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:02,120
Go!
1046
01:08:31,899 --> 01:08:34,027
Colonel, you better take a look
at this radar.
1047
01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:37,363
What is it, son?
1048
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:40,116
I don't know, sir,
but it looks like a giant--
1049
01:08:40,283 --> 01:08:41,618
- Dick.
MAN: Yeah?
1050
01:08:41,784 --> 01:08:43,119
Take a look out of starboard.
1051
01:08:43,286 --> 01:08:46,539
Oh, my God! It looks like a huge--
1052
01:08:46,706 --> 01:08:48,458
- Pecker!
- Where?
1053
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,294
Wait, that's not a Woodpecker.
It looks like someone's--
1054
01:08:51,461 --> 01:08:52,545
Privates!
1055
01:08:52,712 --> 01:08:55,632
We have reports
of an unidentified flying object!
1056
01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:59,218
It is a long, smooth shaft,
complete with--
1057
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:00,553
Two balls!
1058
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:02,221
What is that?
1059
01:09:02,388 --> 01:09:04,015
That looks just like an enormous--
1060
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:05,516
Wang! Pay attention.
1061
01:09:06,017 --> 01:09:08,645
I was distracted by that enormous flying--
1062
01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:10,021
- Willie.
- Yeah?
1063
01:09:10,188 --> 01:09:11,773
What's that?
1064
01:09:12,607 --> 01:09:14,067
Well, it looks like a giant--
1065
01:09:14,233 --> 01:09:15,568
- Johnson.
- Yes, sir.
1066
01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:19,113
Get on the horn to British intelligence
and let them know about this.
1067
01:09:35,421 --> 01:09:36,923
What do we do?
1068
01:09:37,090 --> 01:09:39,717
Why don't you just shag
Fat Bastard again?
1069
01:09:39,884 --> 01:09:41,761
Austin, this is no time to get jealous.
1070
01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:44,764
- Well, how could you do it?
- I was just doing my job.
1071
01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,100
No, I mean literally. How could you do it?
1072
01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:50,228
The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics
of it are mind-boggling.
1073
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:54,023
Look, don't try to lay your hang-ups on me
just because you lost your mojo.
1074
01:09:54,774 --> 01:09:56,693
Ouch, baby.
1075
01:09:56,859 --> 01:09:58,945
Very ouch.
1076
01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:01,406
Look, Austin, we're running out of time.
1077
01:10:01,948 --> 01:10:03,032
I'm sorry.
1078
01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:07,412
I just did what I thought you would do
in the same situation.
1079
01:10:08,788 --> 01:10:10,957
You're the reason that I became a spy.
1080
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,794
I thought that I wanted to be you...
1081
01:10:14,961 --> 01:10:17,171
...but then I realized...
1082
01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:20,133
...that I wanna be with you.
1083
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:22,093
You do?
1084
01:10:22,468 --> 01:10:24,095
Yeah.
1085
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:25,805
Hang on, baby.
1086
01:10:25,972 --> 01:10:27,598
Any-cop!
1087
01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:28,933
[PHONE RINGS]
1088
01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:30,977
Look, maybe we
should talk about this later.
1089
01:10:31,144 --> 01:10:33,020
We need to get past that inept guard.
1090
01:10:33,187 --> 01:10:34,313
Right. Here's the plan.
1091
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,983
I pretend to be desperately ill
with food poisoning.
1092
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,278
The guard, drawn by my cries of pain,
comes to investigate.
1093
01:10:40,445 --> 01:10:41,946
Meanwhile, you dig a pit...
1094
01:10:42,113 --> 01:10:45,199
...line it with punji sticks
made from sharpened toothbrushes.
1095
01:10:45,366 --> 01:10:48,911
The guard falls in, Bob's your uncle,
we escape. What do you think?
1096
01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:51,873
That might work, but what about this?
1097
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:56,419
- What do you think of these, my man?
- Mommy!
1098
01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:58,254
[SCREAMS]
1099
01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,590
[FELICITY & AUSTIN GROANING]
1100
01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:05,428
What a burn.
1101
01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:10,099
That sort of thing could get a man...
1102
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:12,018
...fired.
1103
01:11:13,352 --> 01:11:15,897
I think he was hot...
1104
01:11:16,063 --> 01:11:18,441
...for you.
1105
01:11:18,608 --> 01:11:20,860
- That's enough.
- Yeah.
1106
01:11:26,324 --> 01:11:28,034
DR. EVIL: Ladies and gentlemen...
1107
01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:30,787
...welcome to my moon base.
1108
01:11:31,662 --> 01:11:35,958
You've all been chosen
to be part of my elite moon unit...
1109
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,628
...which is divided into two divisions:
1110
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:43,049
Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.
1111
01:11:43,216 --> 01:11:48,012
In exactly six hours, the moon
will move in its orbit around the Earth...
1112
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:50,723
...bringing Washington, D.C...
1113
01:11:50,890 --> 01:11:54,393
...within range of my giant "laser."
1114
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,731
Begin "laser" ignition sequence.
1115
01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:01,234
Begin laser ignition!
1116
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:07,073
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]: Attention.
Moon Unit Zappa to firing stations.
1117
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:09,951
Initiation sequence in progress.
1118
01:12:10,117 --> 01:12:11,828
Okay. All right.
1119
01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:14,580
Gravity boost to EMS.
Steady at full power.
1120
01:12:14,747 --> 01:12:18,167
All I asked for
was a fricking rotating chair, okay?
1121
01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:19,794
Oh, okay.
1122
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:24,257
Okay, okay. Getting a little afraid.
1123
01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:27,593
I need an old priest and a young priest.
1124
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:30,596
The power of Christ compels you!
1125
01:12:30,763 --> 01:12:35,226
The power of Christ compels you!
Whoa, hello.
1126
01:12:35,393 --> 01:12:40,773
Okay. Sick as a dog now.
1127
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:44,277
- Okay. Okay.
FARBISSINA: Get him a bucket.
1128
01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:46,112
Gonna vorn.
1129
01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:57,456
AUSTIN: We need to hitch a ride
to the moon, baby.
1130
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:02,086
MAN 1: Apollo 11 is good to go.
Crew to all stations.
1131
01:13:03,963 --> 01:13:08,301
MAN 2: We will have liftoff
in T-minus five seconds. Four...
1132
01:13:08,467 --> 01:13:10,386
...three...two...
1133
01:13:12,013 --> 01:13:13,639
We have liftoff!
1134
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:16,392
Apollo 11 has cleared the tower
and is heading for...
1135
01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:18,019
...a rendezvous with the moon.
1136
01:13:18,185 --> 01:13:19,770
[AUSTIN SCREAMING]
1137
01:13:19,937 --> 01:13:21,564
[FELICITY LAUGHING]
1138
01:13:27,194 --> 01:13:29,947
Arm the "laser."
1139
01:13:30,448 --> 01:13:32,158
Arming the laser!
1140
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:35,119
MAN".
Attention, arming the death star.
1141
01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:37,788
- Battle stations.
FARBISSINA: Laser armed!
1142
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:40,917
All crew prepare for ready battle stations.
1143
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:43,002
Get me the president.
1144
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:46,172
You're gonna like this part, Mini-Me.
1145
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:48,841
This is the part
where we threaten the world leader.
1146
01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:51,802
I know we do it every time.
However, it is important to--
1147
01:13:51,969 --> 01:13:54,138
[MINI-ME SCREAMS]
1148
01:13:54,305 --> 01:13:55,514
[THUDS]
1149
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:57,433
Mini-Me?
1150
01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:01,020
Mini-Me, where are you?
1151
01:14:01,187 --> 01:14:04,982
Can someone put a fricking bell on him
or something?
1152
01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:06,692
[MINI-ME SQUEALING]
1153
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:07,860
Great.
1154
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,196
Somebody get the stick.
1155
01:14:11,739 --> 01:14:14,283
Just grab on to the hook, all right?
1156
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:16,535
You complete me.
1157
01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:18,537
I love you.
1158
01:14:19,372 --> 01:14:20,706
Hang in there, Mini-Me.
1159
01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:25,169
If anything should happen to you,
I don't know what I would do.
1160
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:28,047
I'd probably move on
and get another replica...
1161
01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:32,385
...but there'd be a 10-minute period there
when I would just be inconsolable.
1162
01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:34,971
We have your money, but it wasn't easy.
1163
01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:37,515
Papa has to do some work, okay?
1164
01:14:37,682 --> 01:14:40,810
Well, you have exactly 3O minutes
to get it to me.
1165
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:42,436
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
1166
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:44,730
[CACKLES]
1167
01:14:44,897 --> 01:14:46,190
Jiminy German Jesus!
1168
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,068
I can't believe
we're gonna pay that madman.
1169
01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:52,571
I got nukes out the yin-yang.
Just let me launch one, for chrissake!
1170
01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:57,660
Sir! Are you suggesting
that we blow up the moon?
1171
01:14:57,827 --> 01:14:59,370
Would you miss it?
1172
01:14:59,537 --> 01:15:00,663
Would you miss it?
1173
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,085
AUSTIN:
Mission control...
1174
01:15:06,252 --> 01:15:09,588
...the swinger has landed, yeah.
1175
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,092
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Airlock open.
1176
01:15:16,721 --> 01:15:17,930
Repressurize.
1177
01:15:18,097 --> 01:15:19,849
- Let's find Dr. Evil.
- Yeah.
1178
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:22,935
Enjoy your stay on the moon.
1179
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:24,270
Hello, hello.
1180
01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:27,440
There he is.
1181
01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:33,571
- I'll cover your rear.
- No, you go ahead.
1182
01:15:33,821 --> 01:15:36,115
This time, it's personal.
1183
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:50,921
[YELLS]
1184
01:15:53,090 --> 01:15:54,884
[AUSTIN GRUNTING]
1185
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:45,142
No more! I can't take it anymore!
1186
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:46,852
Peace?
1187
01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:51,941
You brought my glasses.
Bless your little heart.
1188
01:16:53,192 --> 01:16:55,111
That's not right, that's--
1189
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:59,949
Oh, don't, that's just-- Now I'm pissed!
1190
01:17:00,116 --> 01:17:01,367
Judo flip!
1191
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:12,044
Poor little bugger.
1192
01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:13,879
He's so small.
1193
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:16,715
He's like a dog or something.
1194
01:17:17,216 --> 01:17:19,468
Poor little bugger.
1195
01:17:21,303 --> 01:17:22,721
[YELLING]
1196
01:17:22,888 --> 01:17:24,306
[YELLS]
1197
01:17:26,684 --> 01:17:29,520
Get off! Off!
1198
01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:41,740
0K8)'-
1199
01:17:44,076 --> 01:17:46,745
Oh! Oh! Get out of my suit!
1200
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:50,791
It tickles. Oh, it tickles. No.
1201
01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:56,589
Gotcha.
1202
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:21,822
[MINI-ME YELLING]
1203
01:18:24,575 --> 01:18:25,951
Poor little bugger.
1204
01:18:26,785 --> 01:18:28,537
I salute you.
1205
01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:39,632
All right, slap-head.
1206
01:18:39,798 --> 01:18:41,467
Turn around.
1207
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:44,303
Where's my mojo?
1208
01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:47,598
Well, it looks like you have a choice,
Mr. Powers:
1209
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:49,433
Save the world...
1210
01:18:49,934 --> 01:18:51,769
...or save your girlfriend.
1211
01:18:51,936 --> 01:18:54,605
- Austin!
- Felicity!
1212
01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:56,482
FELICITY:
Don't worry about me, Austin!
1213
01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:58,150
You've gotta save the world!
1214
01:18:58,317 --> 01:18:59,318
[FELICITY COUGHING]
1215
01:18:59,485 --> 01:19:01,111
Kill him!
1216
01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:04,990
Fire the "laser"!
1217
01:19:05,157 --> 01:19:06,158
MAN".
Target locking.
1218
01:19:06,325 --> 01:19:07,952
[GUN CLICKS EMPTY]
1219
01:19:08,244 --> 01:19:10,996
Laser set to full fatality.
1220
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,499
Judo kick!
1221
01:19:16,001 --> 01:19:18,295
Target missed.
Mojo in trouble now.
1222
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:22,675
You may have won the battle, Mr. Powers,
but you lost the war.
1223
01:19:22,841 --> 01:19:25,928
No!No,no!
1224
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:29,265
Felicity! Wake up, Felicity, wake up!
1225
01:19:31,058 --> 01:19:33,018
[BEEPING]
1226
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,147
I love you, Felicity.
1227
01:19:37,314 --> 01:19:38,357
I love you.
1228
01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:41,610
Dr. Evil! I'll kill him!
1229
01:19:46,490 --> 01:19:48,284
Gotcha!
1230
01:19:52,663 --> 01:19:53,664
[CLICKS SWITCH]
1231
01:19:53,831 --> 01:19:58,377
Ow! You shot me, you A-hole.
1232
01:19:58,544 --> 01:20:01,714
And now I'm going to kill you.
1233
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:02,881
[CLICKS SWITCH]
1234
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,217
Before you do that...
1235
01:20:07,219 --> 01:20:09,471
...know this:
1236
01:20:11,015 --> 01:20:12,975
Austin...
1237
01:20:16,937 --> 01:20:19,898
...I am your father.
1238
01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:23,068
Really?
1239
01:20:24,361 --> 01:20:27,489
No, not really. I can't back that up.
1240
01:20:28,157 --> 01:20:30,743
Right. Idiot. Yes.
1241
01:20:30,909 --> 01:20:35,789
But isn't it interesting, Mr. Powers,
that you would rather kill me...
1242
01:20:35,956 --> 01:20:38,834
...than save your precious Felicity?
1243
01:20:39,001 --> 01:20:40,586
What do you mean?
1244
01:20:40,753 --> 01:20:45,257
Remember, there's a time portal
in the main chamber.
1245
01:20:45,424 --> 01:20:48,093
You could go back and save her.
1246
01:20:48,260 --> 01:20:49,762
I'll do that.
1247
01:20:49,928 --> 01:20:51,555
[CACKLING]
1248
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:56,352
Felicity!
1249
01:20:57,186 --> 01:20:58,270
[FAINTLY]
Good work.
1250
01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:02,232
Good work!
1251
01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:04,610
[CLICKS SWITCH]
1252
01:21:04,777 --> 01:21:05,903
[LOUDLY]
Good work!
1253
01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,071
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
1254
01:21:07,404 --> 01:21:09,531
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER SPEAKERS]
1255
01:21:22,211 --> 01:21:25,172
Well, it looks like you have a choice,
Mr. Powers:
1256
01:21:25,339 --> 01:21:27,049
Save the world...
1257
01:21:27,216 --> 01:21:28,884
...or save your girlfriend.
1258
01:21:29,051 --> 01:21:30,803
- Austin!
- Felicity!
1259
01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:33,972
Don't worry about me, Austin!
You've gotta save the world!
1260
01:21:34,139 --> 01:21:35,974
[FELICITY COUGHING]
1261
01:21:36,141 --> 01:21:38,143
I choose love, baby!
1262
01:21:38,310 --> 01:21:39,770
AUSTIN 1:
Wait a tick.
1263
01:21:39,937 --> 01:21:43,399
- Who are you?
- I'm you, ten minutes from now.
1264
01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,692
Damn it, you are handsome.
1265
01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:47,069
[CHUCKLING]
1266
01:21:47,236 --> 01:21:48,654
I was just thinking the same.
1267
01:21:50,489 --> 01:21:52,491
We are sexy.
1268
01:21:52,658 --> 01:21:55,577
We are sexy bitches, yeah.
1269
01:21:55,744 --> 01:21:59,748
All right, this is ri-goddamn-diculous.
Kill them both!
1270
01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:05,170
[MOUTHS]
Fire the "laser. "
1271
01:22:05,337 --> 01:22:06,380
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.
1272
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:08,674
Fire the "laser"!
1273
01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:10,175
AUSTIN 2:
Listen, Past Austin.
1274
01:22:10,342 --> 01:22:12,678
Can you save the world
while I go get the girl?
1275
01:22:12,845 --> 01:22:15,180
Sure, Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now.
1276
01:22:15,347 --> 01:22:17,307
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Target locking.
1277
01:22:18,058 --> 01:22:21,103
Laser set to full fatality.
1278
01:22:25,190 --> 01:22:26,608
MAN:
Ah! Target missed.
1279
01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:29,820
AUSTIN 2: Come on, come on.
You're all right. Yeah, come on.
1280
01:22:30,362 --> 01:22:32,865
- You all right? Are you okay?
- Yeah.
1281
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:39,329
Say, what's the policy on ménage é trois?
1282
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:41,999
You are adorable.
1283
01:22:42,749 --> 01:22:43,792
Yes.
1284
01:22:44,626 --> 01:22:47,045
Looking for this, Mr. Powers?
1285
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:50,048
My mojo.
1286
01:22:50,549 --> 01:22:54,511
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Self-destruct in two minutes and counting.
1287
01:22:58,348 --> 01:23:00,893
"No!
"No!
1288
01:23:03,687 --> 01:23:04,730
Watch out!
1289
01:23:15,240 --> 01:23:17,534
See you in hell, Powers!
1290
01:23:17,701 --> 01:23:19,369
[CACKLES]
1291
01:23:19,536 --> 01:23:21,246
No, my"
1292
01:23:21,413 --> 01:23:23,790
Okay,
Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now.
1293
01:23:23,957 --> 01:23:27,044
This place is gonna blow!
Let's go! Come on!
1294
01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:34,510
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Self-destruct in 30 seconds and counting.
1295
01:23:34,676 --> 01:23:36,887
- Twenty-nine.
- No!
1296
01:23:37,054 --> 01:23:38,931
- Let's g0!
'NO! MY mojo!
1297
01:23:39,097 --> 01:23:42,017
- We have to go now!
- My mojo! I'm useless without it!
1298
01:23:42,184 --> 01:23:45,103
- You don't need it, you've had it all along.
- What do you mean?
1299
01:23:45,270 --> 01:23:49,691
You defeated Dr. Evil, saved the world,
and, believe me, you're gonna get the girl.
1300
01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:51,527
Well.
1301
01:23:52,736 --> 01:23:54,279
[BOTH YELL]
1302
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:57,115
Yeah. All right, then. Maybe later.
Yeah, come on.
1303
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:01,870
Go!
1304
01:24:02,788 --> 01:24:04,957
I'll set the controls for 1967.
1305
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:09,461
Felicity, why don't you come with me
to 1999?
1306
01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:11,922
Well, I don't know.
The '60s were just so groovy.
1307
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,550
I wanna to see what happens
in the '70s and '80s.
1308
01:24:14,716 --> 01:24:16,426
The '70s and the '80s?
1309
01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,012
You're not missing anything.
I looked into it.
1310
01:24:19,179 --> 01:24:24,268
There's a gas shortage
and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.
1311
01:24:27,062 --> 01:24:28,146
Let's g0!
1312
01:24:49,918 --> 01:24:51,295
I love you, Austin Powers.
1313
01:24:51,461 --> 01:24:53,964
And I love you, Felicity Shagwell.
1314
01:24:54,590 --> 01:24:56,174
Wherever we go...
1315
01:24:56,341 --> 01:24:58,135
There we are.
1316
01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:00,804
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1317
01:25:00,971 --> 01:25:02,556
MAN:
Special delivery.
1318
01:25:04,224 --> 01:25:07,686
Ah! Surprise, surprise!
1319
01:25:09,646 --> 01:25:10,856
Listen, missy.
1320
01:25:11,481 --> 01:25:13,734
Do you fancy another go?
1321
01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:18,113
Because once you've had fat,
you never go back.
1322
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:21,742
You shut your mouth, you bastard...
1323
01:25:23,076 --> 01:25:24,453
...who is fat.
1324
01:25:24,620 --> 01:25:25,704
That's right, yeah.
1325
01:25:25,871 --> 01:25:29,458
Before you kill us,
let me ask you one question:
1326
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:33,337
- Are you happy?
- What kind of stupid-ass question is that?
1327
01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:37,174
I'm rich and I'm dead sexy!
1328
01:25:37,341 --> 01:25:39,134
[CHUCKLING]
1329
01:25:39,301 --> 01:25:41,136
Yeah.
1330
01:25:44,681 --> 01:25:47,893
Well, you didn't answer my question.
Are you happy?
1331
01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:50,228
Of course I'm not happy.
1332
01:25:50,395 --> 01:25:53,106
Look at me. I'm a big, fat slob.
1333
01:25:53,273 --> 01:25:55,651
I've got bigger titties than you do.
1334
01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:59,738
I've got more chins
than a Chinese phone book!
1335
01:25:59,905 --> 01:26:02,074
I've not seen my willy in two years...
1336
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:06,578
...which is long enough
to declare it legally dead!
1337
01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:11,750
I can't stop eating.
1338
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,503
I eat because I'm unhappy.
1339
01:26:17,923 --> 01:26:20,926
And I'm unhappy because I eat.
1340
01:26:21,093 --> 01:26:23,178
It's a vicious cycle.
1341
01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:25,764
If you'll excuse me...
1342
01:26:25,931 --> 01:26:29,601
...there's someone I have
to get in touch with and forgive.
1343
01:26:30,852 --> 01:26:32,729
Myself.
1344
01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:36,733
[FART$]
1345
01:26:36,900 --> 01:26:38,735
Oh, God.
1346
01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:41,780
Sorry. I farted.
1347
01:26:43,699 --> 01:26:45,951
It's a long road ahead.
1348
01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:49,788
Oh, who am I kidding?
1349
01:26:49,955 --> 01:26:51,790
I'm gonna kill you anyway.
1350
01:26:51,957 --> 01:26:53,125
Judo chop!
1351
01:26:53,291 --> 01:26:54,459
[GROANS]
1352
01:26:54,626 --> 01:26:58,130
Right in the mommy-daddy button!
1353
01:26:58,296 --> 01:27:00,799
That's for calling me crap, you fatty.
1354
01:27:01,258 --> 01:27:03,301
[YELLING]
1355
01:27:10,976 --> 01:27:13,437
Listen, baby,
I don't care if he is a fat bastard.
1356
01:27:13,603 --> 01:27:18,108
You don't give a man a shot in the pills.
It's just not cricket.
1357
01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:21,111
Do you think I'll be happy
here in the '90s?
1358
01:27:21,278 --> 01:27:24,573
Well, I know the '90s
might sound boring...
1359
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:26,867
...but as far as I'm concerned...
1360
01:27:27,033 --> 01:27:30,871
...I've brought the best part of the '60s
back with me:
1361
01:27:31,705 --> 01:27:32,831
You.
1362
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,001
- Wait a minute.
- Where are you going?
1363
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:42,632
[THE BANGLES' "GET THE GIRL"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
1364
01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:24,382
Did we get Dr. Evil?
1365
01:28:24,549 --> 01:28:27,302
No, sir. He got away in that rocket
that looks like a huge--
1366
01:28:27,469 --> 01:28:31,097
Penis. The male reproductive organ.
1367
01:28:31,264 --> 01:28:34,392
Also known as tallywhacker, schlong or--
1368
01:28:34,559 --> 01:28:35,685
Wiener?
1369
01:28:35,852 --> 01:28:37,771
Any of you kids want another Wiener?
1370
01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:39,898
Dad, what's that?
1371
01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:42,984
I don't know, son, but it's got great big--
1372
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:46,738
Nuts! Hot, salty nuts!
Who wants some--?
1373
01:28:46,905 --> 01:28:48,114
Lord almighty!
1374
01:28:48,281 --> 01:28:50,075
That looks just like my husband's--
1375
01:28:50,242 --> 01:28:54,579
One-eyed monster!
Step right up and see the one-eyed monster!
1376
01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:57,374
[GROWLS]
1377
01:28:57,541 --> 01:28:59,876
Hey, what's that? It looks like a big--
1378
01:29:00,043 --> 01:29:01,127
Woody?
1379
01:29:01,294 --> 01:29:03,630
Woody Harrelson?
Can I have your autograph?
1380
01:29:03,797 --> 01:29:05,799
Sure, no problem.
1381
01:29:05,966 --> 01:29:08,176
Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing.
1382
01:29:08,343 --> 01:29:09,678
It's so big.
1383
01:29:09,845 --> 01:29:11,263
I've seen bigger. That's--
1384
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:13,557
Just a little prick.
1385
01:29:13,723 --> 01:29:15,225
It's a flu shot.
1386
01:29:15,392 --> 01:29:19,229
You've been in the coldness of space.
I don't want you to get sick.
1387
01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:24,568
It's one thing to attack me.
It's quite another to attack my Mini-Me.
1388
01:29:24,734 --> 01:29:27,487
I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers.
1389
01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:29,447
I'm gonna get you.
1390
01:29:29,614 --> 01:29:32,367
[CACKLING]
1391
01:29:47,674 --> 01:29:48,717
Thank you.
1392
01:29:48,884 --> 01:29:51,887
We're doing a follow-up to a segment
we did several months ago...
1393
01:29:52,053 --> 01:29:54,806
...on fathers who are trying
to take over the world.
1394
01:29:55,432 --> 01:29:57,392
Let's begin with Scott Evil.
1395
01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,105
What's going on with your dad?
1396
01:30:02,272 --> 01:30:06,276
Well, my dad tried to take over the world
with a giant laser on the moon.
1397
01:30:06,443 --> 01:30:07,527
[CROWD BOOING]
1398
01:30:07,694 --> 01:30:08,737
I know.
1399
01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:11,990
- Well, Scott, we have a surprise for you.
- What? My dad?
1400
01:30:12,157 --> 01:30:14,618
No, it's not your father. It's your mother.
1401
01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:16,328
Come on out.
1402
01:30:16,494 --> 01:30:17,829
[CROWD CHEERING]
1403
01:30:17,996 --> 01:30:19,998
CROWD [CHANTING]:
Mom, mom, mom.
1404
01:30:20,165 --> 01:30:23,168
Mom, mom, mom.
1405
01:30:23,335 --> 01:30:24,461
Mom?
1406
01:30:24,920 --> 01:30:28,965
Scott, you are my love child
with Dr. Evil.
1407
01:30:29,507 --> 01:30:31,676
I thought I was a test-tube baby.
1408
01:30:31,843 --> 01:30:34,888
He lies. All lies!
1409
01:30:36,139 --> 01:30:37,724
I love you, Morn.
1410
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:40,727
I love you too, son.
1411
01:30:46,691 --> 01:30:47,692
Thank you.
1412
01:30:47,859 --> 01:30:50,570
You know,
what have we learned here today?
1413
01:30:50,737 --> 01:30:54,658
Perhaps it's that no one
can take your mojo.
1414
01:30:54,824 --> 01:30:55,909
You can look around...
1415
01:30:56,076 --> 01:30:58,870
...but what you're really trying to find
is on the inside.
1416
01:31:00,664 --> 01:31:03,249
Take care of yourself, and each other.
1417
01:31:10,215 --> 01:31:12,759
FELICITY:
I think I'm going to like it in the '90s.
1418
01:31:12,926 --> 01:31:17,013
I never knew it could be this way.
Oh, baby! Baby, baby!
1419
01:31:17,180 --> 01:31:18,723
Oh, no.
1420
01:31:18,890 --> 01:31:21,059
[FELICITY LAUGHING]
1421
01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:24,562
- Oh, that's good.
- Felicity.
1422
01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:29,234
- Austin?
- How could you?
1423
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,902
I thought that...
1424
01:31:31,945 --> 01:31:33,571
AUSTIN 2:
Past Austin?
1425
01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:36,992
Technically, it's not cheating, baby.
1426
01:31:37,158 --> 01:31:39,995
Well, Felicity, I can't blame you.
1427
01:31:40,745 --> 01:31:42,956
The man is handsome, baby.
1428
01:31:43,123 --> 01:31:45,583
We're just plain handsome, man.
1429
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:48,420
Am I wrong,
but this makes me horny, baby?
1430
01:31:48,586 --> 01:31:50,630
Very randy!
1431
01:31:51,297 --> 01:31:55,635
Well, one thing's for sure:
I've got my mojo back.
1432
01:31:55,802 --> 01:31:59,556
Oh, yes, yes, yes. It's definitely back.
1433
01:31:59,723 --> 01:32:01,391
Hello, you all right?
1434
01:32:02,767 --> 01:32:04,936
Me spuds are boiling.
1435
01:32:05,103 --> 01:32:07,981
[ALL LAUGHING]
1436
01:32:08,148 --> 01:32:11,526
Come on, darling, let's hop on
the good foot and do the bad thing.
1437
01:32:11,693 --> 01:32:14,279
Paging Dr. Freud.
1438
01:34:36,754 --> 01:34:39,757
MUSTAFA:
Hello, up there. ls the movie over?
1439
01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:43,136
I'm still down here
and I'm still in quite a lot of pain.
1440
01:34:43,303 --> 01:34:45,763
Maybe someone in the lobby
could call an ambulance.
1441
01:34:45,930 --> 01:34:48,808
Oh! The pain is really quite severe.
1442
01:34:48,975 --> 01:34:51,853
I've fashioned a makeshift splint.
Here goes nothing.
1443
01:34:52,020 --> 01:34:53,104
[CRACKING THEN YELLING]
1444
01:34:53,271 --> 01:34:54,272
[THUDS]
1445
01:34:56,524 --> 01:34:58,526
103748
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