All language subtitles for The Bareback Issue (2011)

I've been HIV positive for about ten
years, and on meds for seven.

And that's part of my mantra for
barebacking, because my risk of

people is very low. Though there is a
small risk.

We keep trying again and again, to make
it rhyme with heart and pain.

We keep beating ourselves to bits,
sucking secondhand fakes and tits. We're

suckers for love.

Suckers for love.

Ready for love.

And all lived up, but nowhere to go.

All fucked up, and ready to fuck.

Ready for love, and all lived up. All
fucked up, and ready to fuck.

The bareback cucks in London, there's a
lot of barebacking in London. Certainly

in the bars, the saunas, and the sex
clubs and so on. Online, there's a

of people seeking out bareback sex.

It's easier to cope with rejection, and
I still get rejection now and again, and

I declare my stator.

Wherever you go, I think, the long and
the short of it is, wherever you go in

London where sex is being had, you will
find barebacking.

OK, there's still plenty of people who
are willing to get out condoms, but it's

not unusual to enter into any sexual
encounter, wherever it is, on the scene

London, whether it's in somebody's house
or a bar or a club, and nobody is going

to produce a condom.

The fact that there's so much bareback
sex that goes on in Berlin is something

don't... fully understand i think that
it attracts positive men because the

theme is more spoken about i mean there
are there are positive parties in berlin

which i think a lot of people don't have
at all but i think that you can't

assume that i think there are also and
maybe it's a generational thing a lot of

people who bear back because they don't
seriously take or they don't take

seriously the risks of contracting hiv
anymore even

Healthy people go to those parties and
they

know that on this party there's just
only barebacking. In terms of bareback

partying in London specifically, I think
there has been a rise of people willing

to or wishing to go to parties where
they don't have to negotiate, say, sex

because everybody knows the score.

And under this condition...

A practice B with C and C with A and D
with A.

They have a pool of infectious diseases
in this situation,

let's say between 20 people, that the
risk to get something about it is very,

very high. And the result we see in our
daily work.

I've got a long -term partner.

And, obviously, me and him always have
unprotected sex because it's a long

relationship.

There have been lots of incidents where
I've slipped up, where I've gone out and

had casual sex with an anonymous person
and I've not used a condom, usually as a

top. And then, obviously, following
this, I have to go through this kind of

period of contrition where I have to sit
down with my partner, tell him that

I've fucked up.

Tell him that I've got to go for a test.

And I guess I assumed that if I became
positive, I'd still continue to have

repetitive sex.

But in actual fact, the reality is that
I have quite a lot of bareback sex.

It's usually in the context of a big,
heavy, trashy night with booze and drugs

that sometimes you end up slipping up.

Generally, I bareback by default. That's
my preference.

And I belong to a couple of pos fights,
so my preference is only bareback with

guys who I know who are pos, or rather,
who state they are pos.

I do have bareback sex with other
positive partners that I mostly meet

and in positive websites, and we discuss
things like other diseases and viral

loads and resistance strains, and then
make decisions about...

So my preference is bareback, but I
always disclose that they know my

and I always ask them, and I include Hep
C in those questions as well, and

discover their Hep C status.

I might have multiple partners, anywhere
between three and a dozen,

even.

Well,

I probably have sex two or three times a
week with my partner, and maybe once a

week with a stranger.

And if they're a bit druggy, the
parties, I mean, that could elongate,

into five or six guys in a session.

I kind of think it's a bit of a sideshow
to talk about the number of sexual

partners.

I've had rather a lot in the past, and

I've actually maintained close sex since
1982, when my GP at that time said,

when are you gay boys going to start
using condoms? And I said, never, having

just caught rectal gonorrhoea, and
that's the last STD I had.

It's something which we actually have
been kind of...

starting to look at a bit more.

I think there's a couple of points here.
I mean, one, it shouldn't be forgotten

that it's estimated that a third of gay
men who are infected believe that

they're infected as a result of sex
within a relationship.

So it isn't actually just about having
lots and lots of sexual partners.

It's actually what you do with the
sexual partners that counts.

And I'm not even sure that the more sex
you have, the more likely you are to

have unsafe sex at any time in the
future.

In fact, actually, it's a bit like
anything.

It's like riding a bike. Practice makes
perfect.

And I think that one problem with that
is recreational drugs. And I think that

you are sometimes put in a situation
where you are no longer able to continue

with your personal defences against...

What you do not want to have.

Bareback porn, I went to shoot for my
studio myself.

I know that there's a lot of it out
there. I'm told, why don't you do

Because it sells better. I don't have
that opinion, actually.

I guess I have a mixed attitude to
bareback porn. I always enjoyed it, but

retrospect...

I think it's probably how to desensitise
me somewhat, or desensitise me to have

protected sex.

Immediately doing bareback, it
transpires, it closes doors to me,

certain US studios.

They ask the question, even at the entry
page of the website, have you done

bareback before?

Or even if you're known to have done it
under a different name, you don't get to

proceed any further, so there's a stigma
attached to it.

Porn stars are generally very sexual
people.

They do the sex, and then they're going
to have more sex, you know, privately.

And I see more sorts of things that are
contrary to what they're portraying.

I'm certainly aware of younger guys only
watching or using bareback porn, and it

must be having an impact on them.

A lot of younger guys seem to be
barebacking who are negative, doing it

choice.

Therefore, the conclusion I draw is that
it must be having an impact.

on their behaviour.

I don't think people see a film and jump
and go and do feedback straight away.

I think people do what they see and if
they see something often enough they'll

start doing it.

I think it's absolutely, clearly
dangerous for the performers.

We've seen a recent example in LA in the
last month of someone, actually it

turns out they weren't suspected from
doing the performance but they were

as partners at risk.

as a result of doing pornographic
filming afterwards.

I think it's dangerous for people who
view it in terms of it normalises

unprotected sex.

Often it fetishises unprotected sex.

I don't think it has any part of the
civilised society, to be honest. I think

it's like watching gladiators kill
themselves in ancient Rome.

I'm really, really against it.

Why do I assume that the two guys having
their back born, whatever you want to

call it, without anything on them,
are...

Either both positive, one negative, one
positive, or both negative.

Now, I kind of think that, apropos of
the gladiators, I love seeing

you know, killing each other. It's kind
of fun.

And actually, I don't immediately want
to go out and kill somebody in Britain.

I'm sure it's that civil liberties
thing. I mean, if you want to watch it,

it. If you don't, don't. But no, I don't
think anybody should be telling you not

to watch it. It just doesn't seem right
to me. It doesn't feel right. I think if

you look at when the riots took place in
the late

90s, it preceded the widespread access
to bare -back

tourism.

You know, the claim that sometimes is
made that bareback porn is a major cause

of the amount of unprotected sex and
spread of HIV amongst the gay community

an exaggeration. And I think if Prowler
and other gay stores took the bareback

videos, DVDs, off the...

I use condoms when I'm with somebody
who's negative,

always. But when I'm with other positive
men, it might mean that I

only have sex with people that I know
and I've had a conversation about other

infections with. I try and avoid

I'll go up to the screen every three
months or so, whether I've got symptoms

not. My clinic has a great scheme where
if you're positive, you have fast access

to standard STD treatment.

If I have any symptoms, I tell my recent
partners, I get treated, and I hope

that my recent partners will do the
same.

It's a courtesy thing.

It's part of the responsibility of
having lots of casual sex. You need to

protect one another.

And I ended up meeting somebody in the
street.

We had a short talk and it was quite
obvious that there was a sort of

situation and I told him that I was
going home and he invited himself to

with me.

So we ended up at home getting even more
intoxicated and having great sex.

And he told me that he wanted me to fuck
him.

didn't ask at all about condoms so I
stopped him and said well because he was

very young guy and I said listen I'm HIV
positive and he said oh that's okay

it doesn't matter and then later on he

asked me the time and said he had to go
back to his girlfriend and that really

surprised me

I wonder if that was just a one -off or
if that is the attitude of a younger

generation. I guess he was in his
twenties.

So I wrote this song called HIV is the
New Virginity. The song is supposed to

like kind of an HIV positive empowerment
statement, but also kind of like a

queer political manifesto in a way, but
acting as a metaphor for a no future

statement.

I know exactly how I became infected. A
big sexy skinhead fucked me bareback. I

knew what I was doing. I wasn't drunk.

I wasn't off my face.

It was a conscious decision, a risk.

I took the risk and it didn't pay off.
And I'm afraid that's a pretty common

story. The sensible advice is...
Particularly if you don't want to become

positive, wear a condom.

Wear one that fits.

Use a water -based lube and you probably
won't get infected.

Just don't assume anything about your
partner.

And also realise that somebody who knows
that they're HIV positive and has a

negative or undetectable or very low
viral load is very unlikely to give you

virus.

You're much more at risk from somebody
who seems to be healthy and have no idea

that they've just contracted it.

But it's amazing how many people with a
drippy dick will go to the sauna and

have sex with 10 people and then come to
see me the next day and go, oh, I had a

drippy dick for three days, but I didn't
do anything about it.

The second thing is to be aware that
actually protective sex works. Wearing a

condom works not only to protect you
against HIV, it protects you against

of other things.

I know that...

Just about every time that I've ended up
in a backpacking situation, it's always

been in the context of being pretty
high.

And when your normal sort of reasoning
is slightly gone out the window.

You have to be aware what happens to you
when you drink and when you take drugs.

Don't bring yourself too easily in a
dangerous situation.

Don't go with cocaine.

So, yeah, I think it's probably a good
point of advice for myself, that I think

as you say, well...

It's not a question of, oh, don't get
off your face, because if you get high,

you'll not use the condoms.

It's trying to instill in me some sense
of responsibility when I'm high.

We have holes in our hearts that our
blood runs through.

Holes in our hearts that our blood runs
through.

Holes in our hearts that our blood runs
through.

Holes in our hearts.

Nowadays, we've slipped back into unsafe
sex.

A lot of my younger counterparts are
barebacking.

I'm not sure why, but because, again,
they need to take a pill and they don't

die. But that's not exactly going to
solve everything because I would rather

negative, to be honest with you, because
I don't have to keep going to the

hospital. costing the government money
for leaving jail.

The costs for HIV infection in the total
length are about

500 ,000 euros.

In terms of the financial issues around
HIV and their backing, any new infection

costs a vast amount of money.

And we're probably talking over the
lifetime of a patient of...

400, 500 ,000.

So it is comparable with other long
-term, not

healable diseases.

So the issues of catching another
sexually transmitted disease on top of

a number of things.

Syphilis, which is much more difficult
to treat and much more unpleasant when

you have HIV.

So it's more likely to be secondary
syphilis, which is a whole body.

phenomenon and occasionally
neurosyphilis which is when it gets into

and we have had a number of patients
very very sick with syphilis I think the

biggest issue is hepatitis C there's no
hep C vaccine at the moment and there's

a recent rise in hep C in gay men mainly
through blood in fact there's good

evidence that really it is only blood
and maybe blood infected other

secretions like semen that's bloody that
will transmit hcv we are all about

blood so and even in the anal region
when we check the

anal region every day 15 15 times 50
times so it's always bloody because

the hemorrhoids are very thin tissue and
just

when you when you touch it

And the difference in

progression to serious liver disease
between people who are singly infected

Hep C and dually infected is about
tenfold.

So that where you might expect to live
20 or 30 years before you start to get

serious liver disease, many people, not
all, but many people with HIV and Hep C

start to get serious liver fibrosis
after three or four years.

So it's kind of not a good combination.

My thoughts on Hep C? Well, I've got
some fairly strong thoughts because I

became co -infected some time ago.

It took a little while to get the
treatment to work. I had two stabs at

it did work. It took a year.

I had a fairly light time on it, but
many people don't. The treatment is

to cause depression.

It can be very heavy on the system.

It's like having the flu for a year, a
proper flu, not man flu.

And I'll pretty much always ask, do you
know your hep C status?

What is it?

I don't think it's something that I've
thought about very much.

to be honest, which is worrying because
I know it's on the upward trend and it's

not something that is discussed very
much at all.

And, you know, people always associate
liver disease with alcoholism and forget

that it can be, you know, contracted to
sex, you know.

Hepatitis B is hugely significant in
terms of the impact it has on the

of people living with HIV.

There was a study that I read today.

from Italy where hepatitis C co
-infection was implicated in 40 % of

deaths amongst the cohorts of people
living with HIV.

I used to use condoms but I also used to
seek out bareback sex and used to have

a strategy of trying to avoid risk of
guys not coming in me. It obviously

and I'm positive.

And in some ways I think that was an
inevitable trajectory for my personal

life and

area of the scene in London?

You say to yourself, if I go out tonight
and I meet somebody, I will use

condoms. And you always imagine that you
will.

And these situations where you end up
not using one always happen in the

You would never have planned to not use
a condom.

So my precautions are to try and always
use condoms, even if I'm not always

successful or I don't always pull mine
out quick enough.

If somebody wants to bear back sex with
me, it will depend on the context.

Generally, it's online these days, and
if it's through a certain website, many

of those sites ask their status. They
may state what it is.

I never take that for granted.

If I end up in a situation where
somebody clearly wants to have sex

using a condom, it can be either one or
two things.

I'm negative, and sometimes I end up
having bear back sex.

Sometimes I think that the person is...

being equally sort of maybe a bit
reckless, like me.

Or, of course, you think to yourself,
well, there's a chance that they're

probably positive.

And, of course, suddenly becoming
positive, I had to try and change

my headspace completely and assume that
everybody else is negative and protect

them accordingly. But, of course, if
you're in a bareback club or you're in a

club where most people are barebacking,
and people come straight onto you and

either refuse or don't offer to use a
condom, I

feel that it's very likely that they're
positive.

Would I prefer to be HIV negative?

Sometimes I'm not sure I would, frankly.
That may sound terrible.

I don't spend a lot of time thinking
about whether I would prefer to be

because I can't change it.

But I guess if I could go back to the...

time that I contracted it and choose
again, then I would certainly walk away.

However, I have to say as well that that
would mean I would have lost out on a

lot of positive experiences as well as
difficult ones that I've had since I

became positive.

So I guess I'm glad that it's a
hypothetical question for me, but I find

to answer.

I'm on meds. The meds work very well.

I take one pill once a day.

I'm pretty fit and healthy, I have a
good diet.

In the time that I've been positive,
I've had a number of long -term

I've changed jobs, done lots of things,
been travelling.

You know, life goes on. It is one aspect
of life, but it isn't the single

defining one.

No, I wouldn't prefer to be HIV
positive.

Because there are other people involved,
there's family and friends involved,

and you have to go through, particularly
if you've got a partner, you've got to

go through a whole process where you've
got to tell them.

But of course there's moments where you
just think, I would like to increase,

you know.

As an adult gay male, I'd like to
increase my capacity for wild sex that

involve condoms.

But I still don't think it's really
worth paying the price.

I've often been at parties and thought,
I wish I was positive because I could

just run around and stick it in everyone
and not worry at all.

And the upside is there's much more
pleasurable, bareback, filthy sex.

And generally, most people I know would
say that they would do bareback sex if

it were risk -free.

I think it's very difficult to quantify.
There have been a number of studies

that looked at the individual risk of
catching HIV from barebacking, either at

the top or at the bottom. The estimate
for the bottom is about 1 in 100, and

estimate for a top is about 1 in 1 ,000.
But I think it very much depends on the

environment of what the population
you're dealing with are.

It's hard to deny that the actual
physical sensation of bareback is more

than having sex with a condom,
especially for the top, I think.

And possibly emotionally it's more
intense as well.

I was originally fascinated by

barebacking when I saw it in like bars
and sex parties and clubs and so on go

a place that wasn't a barebacking party
but that like pretty much everybody

would be fucking without a condom and I
was first like terrified and like

shocked and like whoa but then I was
also kind of fascinated by by this kind

like apocalyptic feeling that that
everybody was just like like fucking

there was no tomorrow or whatever or
going for the ecstasy of the moment and

caring about the future.

But I think that the most seductive
thing about barebacking is often simply

fact that it's easier because you don't
have to mess around opening packets or

opening crepes.

Sex itself is quite naughty and it
provokes feelings of dirtiness and this

like a heightened sort of extension.

Before you know it, you're actually not
only not wearing a condom, but you're

completely getting off on the fact that
you haven't got one on. What I found

myself doing in a kind of panicked,
stupid, crazy sort of sense is entering

sex, penetrating, getting somewhere down
the line, and then asking the person

mid -spark as to whether they think
they're positive or not, and telling

that I'm negative and I hope that
they're negative, which is slightly

ridiculous.

or going through with it and then at the
end just pleading with them to tell you

that you are negative aren't you you
have been tested haven't you and

you don't get that and I've had sex with
people where I've entered into it I've

done it and then afterwards had the sort
of hand wringing and the upset and just

saying by the way you know are you
negative and they've looked at me as if

say you fucking idiot of course I'm not
and that's why I kind of entered into it

so then you walk away going Oh shit,
right, well I've done it now, and it's

the first time, you know?

All fucked up!

Ready to fuck, ready for love, and all
is up but nowhere to go!

All fucked up and ready to fuck but
nowhere to go!

Ready for love, all is up, all fucked up
and ready to fuck!

Ready for love, all is up, all fucked up
and ready to fuck!