All language subtitles for My.Hero.S01E05.Old.Man.Riverdance.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor

Busy evening? Huge fire in a
chemical factory in the East End.

I had to tip a water tower over it.
What would they do without you?!

'Filming of London's Burning was disrupted when
the Thermoman unexpectedly put the fire out.

'The producers say
it will cost thousands to restage.'

I thought the cameras were for ME!

This is nothing LIKE you.

I'm much bigger than that. People
will think I'm only two inches tall.

No, they've seen you on TV. I'm seven inches
on that. Shorter on the little screens.

Morning, Tyler. Hi, Thermoman.
Here's the post. I am not Thermoman.

I saw Godzilla at the cinema.
Really?

Yeah, he was sitting behind me. This
dirty great lizard eating popcorn.

What's that? Wow!
It's from my dad. Your dad?!

Yes. The original Thermoman. He lives in a
Florida retirement home called Dunrescuin'.

Isn't that a bit of a giveaway?

No, it's very secret. His powers have gone. His
radar's wonky and he keeps flying into walls.

Dear. Poor man.

He shares a room with Invisible-Man.
He'd keep bumping into him, I suppose.

No, Invisible-Man's powers have gone
as well, so he's visible.

But he's too ashamed to admit it, so
they've all got to pretend he's invisible.

Dad has to keep sitting on him.

When did you last see him?

Last time I was there.
He's totally visible, like I said.

No, I mean your dad.

About two years ago. You haven't
seen your dad for two years?!

I was three seconds late visiting.
He said he never wanted to see me again.

Being three seconds late? That's
awful! I've never forgiven myself.

But now he's in England and he wants
to come round here this evening.

Does he know about us? "I hear you
are shacked up with an Earth-girl.

"They are the scum of the Universe. Thank God
your mother's dead. This would have killed her."

Yep, he does know about us.
What are we going to do?!

Janet, before long,
he'll be loving you just like I do.

Except for the bedroom bit. Although
if it'd help, you could offer...

No. I couldn't. Right.

New Guinea, flash flood. Off to
work.

And don't worry.

Your hearing aid's ready.

I said your HEARING aid...

Forget it.

So how's the dating agency going? I'm with a new
agency now. The last one said I scared the clients..

I went out with somebody last night, actually. But he
got a nosebleed halfway through the prawn cocktail.

Why did he get a nosebleed?
Cos I punched him.

Mrs Hewitt, you can go through now.

Your life's still rotten, Mrs Hewitt.
It's just the Prozac kicking in.

Hello, girls.
Well, girl and much older woman.

Janet, I've had a few thoughts about
making tonight go well. So have I.

I should start running now! There's a few
things I've remembered about Dad. Like what?

He's got a huge carbuncle on the
side of his nose. I won't mention it.

No, he's very proud of it. So maybe you could say,
"My! What a lovely carbuncle!" or something. Right.

He detests the colour blue. And he
hates people using lots of "F" words.

I never use the "F" word! No,
any word at all beginning with F.

It must be the sound or something.

George, is your dad a bit peculiar?
Of course not. He's my dad.

I am always here. Have you seen this
- Entertainment Weekly?

"'Cure It With Crispen' has become dull and
unappealing." That's not right. Thank you, George.

Janet says it's ALWAYS been dull and unappealing.
Ratings are slipping... Who watches my show?

Nasty epidemic of frozen shoulder! - These
ratings - how do they work that out?

5,000 households have a little box attached to
the TV, and each box means ten thousand viewers.

Must be big houses.
They're in ordinary houses.

Yes, I've got one. You see?
Mrs Raven's got... YOU'VE got one?

Why didn't you tell me? You never
asked. Why didn't YOU watch my show?

It's dull and unappealing.
Besides, I'd be late for work.

You could be my sudden surge! I'll shorten your
hours... Janet, mind the desk. No sickies till 10.00.

Was there anything else, George?
There was just one thing.

You look great. But I was wondering
about your hair. What about my hair?

Do you need it? Dad's got this thing
about bald women... Go away!

It'd grow back again.

What to call him... I can think of a few things!
Either "Mr Sunday" or "Mighty Master of Ultron".

And the greeting?
That's perfectly normal.

You say hello and then... Actually,
it's NOT that normal. What isn't?

DOORBELL That'll be him.
Remember, no "F" words. (Don't tempt me!)

Dad! Come on in.
Thanks, son. Good to see you again.

It's good to see you, too, Dad.

You must be George's Earth-woman.
Pleased to meet you.

And you, Mr Sunday.

So this is where you're living,
is it? That's right.

(That was the Ultronian greeting?
No, just something Dad likes to do.)

You're right - he IS a bit peculiar.

Dad, your carbuncle's looking very nice.
Thanks, George. Yes, it's really handsome.

You can touch it, if you like.
Thanks.

Terrific!

I've got another, if you'd like...
No, really, one's enough. Thanks.

It's fantastic to see you.
I used a word beginning with that letter!

No, no. I'm over all that. I'm fine. I've
seen the doctor and I'm fine. Fighting fit!

That is joyful news. Argh!
I just said joyful. Ee-ee!

(Don't use any word
beginning with "J", Janet.)

So, what's your name, Earth-woman?
...Er, Gannet.

Gannet? Gannet. Yes.

Her parents were obsessed with
seabirds, so they called her Gannet.

This is the best you could do?
I'm afraid so, yes. I'm very happy.

What about the smell? I've got
used to it. Smell? Don't worry.

You see to Ultron noses, Earth-women
smell a bit like dead sheep. Dead sheep?

Yes, there's nothing you can do about it.
In fact I quite like it now.

A bit like an old kebab.

DOORBELL What about security?
Dad, no-one knows I'm here.

Hi, Thermoman. Got any spare milk?

So, what'll we do this evening? Nothing.
You're coming home with me, George.

I'm sorry, but I'm not having you
going out with an Earth-woman.

You want George to go with you?
Now? Yes. George, say something!

Bye, darling. Thanks for everything.
What?!

It's been great. I'll get my things, Dad.
What?! You can't just...!

Argh! You said "just", Janet. Eeh! Gannet.
On Ultron, the father's word is law.

But he's mad. I know - barking as a
rabid dog, but I have to do as he says.

So if he said, "Leap in front of a
bus!" you would? I did do it, yes.

Come on, George. Wait!
...What's his first name?

Vizz-zz-argh-kee-kee.

Right.

Vizz... But you can call him
Seamus. Right.

Seamus, you cannot do this.

George and I are very happy.
I am not letting him go. Wow! Exciting!

He's staying here with me and there
is nothing you can do about it.

I see. (He could have me imprisoned
for life. He'd do that to his son?

(My brother got five years
for not eating his dinner up.)

Seamus, what is wrong with us
being together?

I am not having my son distracted
from his duties by an Earth-woman.

But what if we could prove that I don't distract
him? Stay with us for a couple of days. Please.

Well... I could do with some time
away from the Home.

If I have to hear another story
from that Centipede-Man!

"I went up the wall, across the ceiling and
down again." I've heard it a hundred times!

So, you can have two days. Good. Now we've
only got the one bedroom, I'm afraid.

Where will you two sleep? On the sofa.
Do you want to see the bedroom, Dad?

George, I've still got X-ray vision.

It'll do fine. That's the bathroom.
(He can see through cardboard OK.)

Do you have any tea, Gannet? I'll
put the kettle on. No. Allow me.

See? I've still got it!

(You should meet my uncle.
He's REALLY weird.)

I still can't sleep. Can we try
a different position? Like what?

Well, how about if I move my arm and my
leg... and you move into the bathroom?

I've got a better idea.

That's better. Why didn't you
do that before? I forgot.

If your dad does let us stay together and we had
children, would they be human or Ultronian?

Bit of both. In human terms, brilliant.
In Ultron terms, seriously retarded.

Sorry. They wouldn't be the first. No? No,
we've been breeding with humans for centuries.

Mozart, Einstein... and loads of sportsmen.
You can always tell which.

Pete Sampras, Nick Faldo, Stephen Hendry
- something not quite human about them.

So we could have great sportsmen.
I'd like footballers.

They could play for Ireland, though they wouldn't
take aliens. I don't know - they take everyone else.

I have to go.

I'm sniffing trouble, George.
Copenhagen. Guatemala. Close.

Why aren't you there?
I'm going, Dad.

Why are you yawning? I haven't slept
and we've tried every position.

I said you'd distract him.
...Go and get ready. I'm going!

What kept you?...Remember how to
handle a landslide? Yes, I do. Good.

But this is a forest fire. So it is.

Get every blanket in the area.

String them into one huge blanket.
I know how to handle a fire, Dad.

Remember my golden rule? Never carry anything
heavier than Switzerland. That's my boy!

Goodnight! You're not sleeping? If I was out on a
mission, his mother would pace the floor praying.

(But you always came back.)

I know how you feel. My ex's dad came
to stay with us after his wife died.

What a misery HE was.

How's the dating agency?
I met another man last night.

Are we going to hear wedding bells?!

It's enough to put you off dating
for life. Come back in a week.

So, Mrs Raven, how are my ratings?
10,000 viewers higher, I trust?

We were watching the Big Breakfast.
You were what?

It's the triplets. I'm not arguing
with heavily-armed 14-year-olds.

If we had a second telly they could
watch that, but not on my wages.

Right. Well, maybe I can help there.
No, Doctor, I couldn't.

You deserve a bonus, Mrs Raven.

They'd like one
with Nicam digital stereo.

Morning, darling. Mum! What are you
doing here? I'm getting my holiday jabs.

You look peaky.
I slept on the sofa last night.

I knew it wouldn't last! We were BOTH
on the sofa. His father's staying.!

Hi, Janet. Hi, Mrs Dawkins. Morning,
George. Piers is ready for you now, Mum.

Wish me luck. My bottom's going to look like
a dartboard. Well, it's the right shape.

How did you get on in Guatemala?
Perfect. Dad's going to be thrilled.

I picked up their water tower and tipped it over
the flames. So what are they going to drink?

Good morning, Mr Sunday... Good morning!
This is my father, Avril - Seamus Sunday.

Thank you. I didn't know
Mr Sunday had any relatives.

There's me and my three brothers.
A whole month of Sundays! Just joking.

Argh! He's not good
with words beginning with "J"..

So what do you think of Janet? Eeh!
That's how I feel!

So this is your cover?

It's anonymous, not many customers
and I can play with a till.

PING! They're great, aren't they?!
Do you want a go?

Look at me. I worked in Hollywood,
putting stars on the silver screen.

You were a projectionist. Hi, there.

Hey, you're Thermoman's dad, aren't
you? Tyler, I'm not Thermoman...!

To me, you were the greatest
hero of them all. That's enough!

No, let him speak.
The greatest, you said?

Greater even than your son.
You were the ultimate superhero.

You are very wise. What's your name?

Tyler Wan Kenobi. Great-grandson
of Obi. May the force be with you.

And with you. I've gotta go now. See you,
Thermodad. It's karaoke night on Neptune.

What are you getting? Ssh!
One sniff is all I ever needed. Dad!

I could get different disasters in each nostril.
That girlfriend is sapping your strength.

got it! Cuba. Volcano.

Volcano? What will you do? I'm going to blow the
molten lava back down into the Earth's core.

What?! Remember your grandfather? He said you
should suck lava and spit it into the sea.

And what did he die of?
Lava poisoning.

But that's when he did it wrong. I'm your
father. Who knows best - me or you? You.

'Meanwhile, in Cuba, locals watched as Thermoman
seemed to be gargling with molten lava.' Gargling?

I couldn't decide whether to blow or
suck. 'He's been courting disaster.

'So what's happened to Thermoman? It's rumoured he
has a girlfriend. Could this explain his behaviour?'

Exactly. Switch it off, George.

You see?
...You're ruining him! Me?!

Who, then? You've got one more day
to prove otherwise.

Your dad's staying - Saddam Sunday?!

I'm having to do everything his way, which means
I'm confused. Today, I re-built the Berlin Wall.

I'm shocked, George. I'm so shocked
I'm eating my own food!

Did you know it was this bad?

Yes. He tells me to get rid of Janet.
You're a friend. What should I do?

Can I have her? He says she's
distracting me. Maybe he's right.

It ain't Janet. It's him. You gotta
defy him. No, I can't, Arnie.

What's the worst that could happen
if you didn't do what he said?

The Ultron Council could remove my
powers, relocate me, alter my face.

Exactly! You'll be just like me.
I think I'll do as he says.

George won't go, Janet. Nobody
listens to their parents these days.

If they did,
my triplets would be miles away.

Mrs Raven, please tell me you tuned into my show
this morning. I certainly did. Yes, there IS a god!

And thank you for the new telly.
Don't mention it.

DON'T mention it. I could be had up.

It's a lie. You didn't watch
his show! I did! I viewed it all.

I haven't got a box to monitor
my viewing. That was a lie.

But I tuned in. Don't say a word. I
want a video recorder off him next.

George, is it going better? I've just
rescued three people off Everest. Great!

They didn't need to be rescued. And they're from
Berlin. I've just divided their city again.

I'm going to have to go with him tonight.
No, I'll think of something. Will you?

Yes! When have I ever let you down?

When you fed me peanut butter
and my head turned green,

when you left my helmet on the bus and when you told
me I'd enjoy Titanic and I couldn't stop crying.

When little Leonardo's icy-blue face sank slowly beneath
the ocean, leaving Kate Winslet to...! Yes, yes.

But I won't let you down this time,
I promise.

'No, Seamus, I understand.'

George has to go. But before he does,
I'd like you to meet my parents.

If you want. One more dead sheep
won't make any difference.

What good will that do? They hate
me. Psychology. Listen and learn.

He's just in the bedroom.
What's he like, my precious?

Is he like George - a bit peculiar?

Here he is. Mr and Mrs Dawkins, this
is my father, Seamus. Pleased to meet you.

And you. Gannet's a fine girl.
Thank you. (...What did he call her?)

Are you here long or just... Eeh!

He's leaving this evening. I'm going, too.
We're splitting up. No!

How marvellous!

I can't be a hypocrite.

I had expectations for my daughter and
your son isn't what we'd hoped for.

What are you saying? He isn't good
enough for me? She tells everyone.

She should have her own website.
Ssh!

Are you actually telling Seamus that
I am too good for his son? (I get it!)

Dad, are you letting her
get away with that? OK, George.

So you think that my son is not good enough for
your daughter? Well, let me tell YOU something.

You're right. Yes!...What? He isn't good
enough. He's been useless at his work lately.

We want her to marry the doctor she works with. You
are living with this when you could have a doctor?!

She must be mad, Ella. They think
they know best. You're telling me!

God, they're bonding.

Remember our parents, Stanley?
What they said went.

Many's the time I felt my dad's hand
on my backside. Why? Smacking him!

Me, too, Seamus. I lived in terror
of my father. Those were the days!

But this one insisted on sitting
backwards on the potty. Mum!

Mine carries a water tower when
I told him twice to use blankets.

No! Talk me through that one again.

Dad... No, not now, George.
I'm talking. Go and pack.

And she would never
finish her dinner.

In the old days, we'd have locked
them up - but you can't do that now.

I've never split up with anyone
before.

I hear you're meant to divide up all
the CDs. That is one of the rituals.

Seems a bit unfair.
I didn't buy any of them.

No, you're only supposed to take
what's yours. Right.

I'd like to take something
to remind me of you. OK. What?

Well, when an Ultron warrior leaves
his bride, possibly never to return,

he takes one of her fingers with
him. What, the whole thing?!

Yes. On Ultron, they grow back
again. They tend not to here.

Better not then. It's bad enough
losing YOU, never mind a finger.

Down here, we take a lock of hair.
It might have dandruff!

Better than a rotting finger. That's true.
And I've just washed mine. Right.

Come on, George. Where will
you live? He can stay with me.

We've got an 18-hole golf course.
How many strokes did you take to go round?

19. See? You need the practice.
Come on! Dad...

What if I don't come with you? You
cannot stay and remain a superhero.

OK. Then I'm no longer a superhero.
Don't be silly!

I renounce my powers. George! I want
to be normal. I want to stay here.

I'll have your powers removed. Fine.
You'll be relocated. Fine, too.

You'll lose your looks. You'll look like
Arnie. Could be worse. Can't imagine how!

George, you can't!
Look! It's A Touch of Frost.

Gannet, it's his duty. The world
needs him. Say something! George...

I'm sorry to say this...

I'd rather watch Ground Force. OK.

You will be punished for this! Fine. Punish
away. Nothing you say can make me change my...!

What is it? What are you getting?

747. 35,000 feet. Engine failure.
Right! I'm getting it, too.

Well - some you win,
some you lose.

George, you're not just leaving it?!
I've renounced my powers.

But if this is what it means, you've
got to leave me and save that plane.

But without you, what's the point?
What's the point of anything?

God - a superhero
with depression(!)

The pilot's told them all. They're singing
Abide With Me and a nun's got her guitar out.

To hell with you! I'll do it myself.

If my back wasn't acting up.

OK, you can stay with her.
But you must save the plane.

I'll need it in writing. George!
A plane's about to crash!

20,000 feet. I'm writing nothing!

♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya! ♪

OK, I'll sign. Go, George!
I have to check his signature.

He's writing it!
Go and save that plane!

What plane?

Did you get him to the airport all right? Yep. He
gave me this for you. It was what my mother left.

Actually, after the explosion,
it was what was left of my mother.

Along with the finger. You keep
that.

This is lovely! I think he's lonely.
He must drive them mad at Dunrescuin'.

He said he was missing me
and jealous cos I'd found you.

You remind him of my mum - except you
can't shoot lasers from your armpits.

Well, I could practise.
Poor old thing!

He's not really that bad, I suppose.
No, I suppose he isn't.

So, you wouldn't mind if he came and stayed
sometime? No, I suppose not... sometime.

That couch is killing my back,
George. Can you shove over a bit?

H!