All language subtitles for Falling.S01E02.1080p.BluRay.x264-NUNNY_track3_[eng]-eng

(gentle music)

(car horn blaring)

(gasping)

(siren blaring)

(train carriage rattling)

I was wondering if perhaps
you wanted to get some clothes.

Err, well, yes,
I probably should.

Good.

This is £200.

No, I-I can't take your money
as well as your hospitality.

Well, the hospitality's a gift.
This is a loan.

I... No, you've done
so much already.

I don't want to be any trouble.

Well, have you got
a bank account?

Err, no.

Have you got any cash, money?

Err, no.

Well, I don't know
what your Bible says,

but mine is quite explicit
about helping people in need.

My sons have moved out.

My husband left me.

I like having you here.

And if you find anything nice
for the harvest festival...

I'll-1I'll drop something
at the church.

No, I didn't, I didn't mean
for you to go.

Oh, I have no intention
of being afraid of him.

You're gonna be okay,
aren't you?

Mm.

Let's start with a question.

What do you think a priest is?

People who talk to God?

Yeah, that's good.

Um, but I actually think
anyone can talk to God.

That's what prayer is.

A priest is a boss in church.

I like that.

I ike that. Yes, we are.

Do you have a class
representative?

Someone who sits on a committee
representing the class?

Angus.

(children giggling)

Are you Angus?

On Wednesday we have
roast dinner,

but Angus decided we should
have sausages instead.

Did he talk to you
about that decision?

- No.
- Yeah, I did!

No, you didn't.

Would you consider
you elected him

your representative leader?

Er, when it comes
to lunch menus, at least?

- Definitely.
—Definitely? Yeah?

Right, well, I would say what
I do is spiritual leadership.

I don't decide what
we have for lunch,

but I do lead people, or try to,

in their prayer
and their worship.

And that's why I'm here today,
to talk to you about a festival

we're gonna be running
at my church.

Who here has heard
of harvest festival?

- Me! I have!
- Good.

And who can tell me
what it's all about?

Thank you for doing that.
(bell ringing)

Er, talking business,
were you able to give

any more consideration
to my needle exchange idea?

Yes, harvest festivals,
needle banks.

They did warn me that you were
radical when you came our way.

It's just a small
capital investment.

You know, this diocese
is already running

three full time food banks,

and I think there are six
part time ones,

and the deanery has undertaken
to opening its doors

twice a week as a warm bank.

And there's countless outreach
educational groups.

Okay, but those
are all necessary.

The diocese has £53 million
in funds,

21 of which is cash in the bank.
Surely we can find some...

How long have you been with us?
Is it two years?

- Three.
- Well, don't you think you ought

to settle in properly before
you try taking on my job?

Look, I know what happened
with this nun and clearly,

clearly there is no blame
attached to you,

but it's not as if your copy book
wasn't already blotted.

And now you're digging
into our accounts?

You heard about...?

I never knew that
she was so flighty...

Silly.

Um...

I-I think there was, um, it...
There was confusion.

Oh, there's no confusion.
She took a vow.

And she didn't even wait to ask
for permission to leave.

If you want to find her,
I do know where she is.

Well, we know where she is,
but the Abbess, she wants...

She wants her to stew a little.

I mean, poor Anna,
she has absolutely no idea

of the real world.

Good luck, David.

And thanks once again.
Very kind of you.

(engine starts)

(engine rumbling)

(suspenseful music)

(background mall chatter)

Come on...

Ooh, sorry.
I need to count your...

- I'm sorry?
- I need to count your clothes.

You need to count them?

(dramatic music)

(heavy breathing)

Oh...(gasping)

- Let me take this.
- Thanks.

It's a recruitment drive.

You've discovered a way
to recruit people.

(chuckling)

You love it. Admit it, you do.

They get to feel charitable
about donating a can of beans.

They remind themselves
they're Catholics,

see the inside of a church.

They might even, God forbid,
come to the actual service.

How many cans of beans
do we have?

At a rough estimate, 467.

I could fill
the front three pews.

Or we could keep them
and do that thing

where we push you down a hill
in a bath full of beans.

Well, I don't think
that would do your reputation

any good at all, especially now.

It's all over the diocese.

The pretty priest
who steals sisters.

It's not my fault she's flighty.

Oh, flighty, is it?

(suspenseful music)

(chuckling)

(door opens, shuts)

Muriel: I brought home
some food!

Chinese. Cause I like it.

I hope you like it.

I pretty much like all food.

How was your day?

Er, not the best. We're overrun.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

We've been overrun for years.

So, what did you get?

Shopping, I mean.

Err...

Err, it felt a bit much,
to be honest.

Ooh?

We need a drink.

But first I'm gonna
get you some clothes.

You see, we didn't have mirrors
in the convent.

Of course you didn't.

And l...well, I seem
to have lost

the ability to look at myself.

And yet everybody else
seemed to want to look at me.

It's almost as if I've forgotten
what I look like.

Not that I think I'm still 16.

You've got a beautiful face.

(chuckle) No, no, no,
it's not, err...

It's not a question of pride.

Do you know, to be honest,
I've got to admit,

I don't like
changing rooms either.

Everything had short sleeves

and the tops and the dresses

and I just wanted something
to cover myself.

What is it you want covered?

Well, my arms and my legs.

I mean, there were some
long sleeves, but...

It's not that
I don't like my arms.

I don't really think
about my arms.

But...

(sighs)

I have never shaved my armpits.

Oh.

And everything felt very,
well, very exposing of that.

And err...

I've also never shaved my legs.

(laughter)
(gentle music)

I am profoundly hairy.

(hysterical laughter)

(phone vibrating)

(groaning)

Father David?

(suspenseful music)

Oh, hi. Err, I was called
to a Gertrude Blaisey?

Yes, of course. Take a seat.

(sighs)

(door shuts)

Thanks for coming.

You're Lucy?

Yeah.

Thank you for ringing me.

I care deeply about your mum.

I've missed her at mass.

Went in every day, right?

That's right.

Bet her confession was a blast.

(laughs)

Did she talk about me?

I know you can't say.

Wink for yes, maybe.

(chuckles)

Gertrude was, err,
is very kind around the parish.

She wasn't...

I wasn't Catholic.

She wasn't Catholic
when I was a child.

She was when she was a kid

but found being an adult more...

difficult.

I'm guessing you two
didn't always get on?

No.

She liked to hurt.

- I'm sorry about that.
- Well, I'm just...

pleased someone's forgiven her.

(approaching footsteps)

It's time.

(gasps)

Lucy, would you come in with me?

Oh...(sighs)

The last rites are something
really quite beautiful.

It's a celebration
of the sacraments

of penance and viaticum.

Viaticum is a Latin word
meaning provision and love

for the next part
of the journey.

Via-tecum.

"With you on the way".

(sobbing, gasping)

It's about faith, of course,

but I think it's mostly
about love.

l...(sobs)

It, it doesn't have to be
about your forgiveness.

I'm not challenging your anger.

All that's asked for is
your support for her penance

and her journey.

I definitely support
her penance.

(gasping)

(poignant music)

Do you have anything
to say to me, Gertrude?

If you're unable to talk,
just squeeze my hand

if you're sorry for anything
you've done wrong.

I just want to say...

Thanks, Gertrude, thank you

for being a really good friend

to me and to the community.

I think we saw
the very best of you.

I love you

very much.

(poignant music swells)

(sighs)

God the Father of mercies,

through the death
and resurrection of His son

has reconciled the world
to Himself

and sent the Holy Spirit
among us

for the forgiveness of sins.

Through the ministry
of His church,

may God give you peace
and pardon.

I absolve you from your sins,

in the name of the Father,

of the Son,

of the Holy Spirit.

(deep sigh)

(gentle music)

I don't like this.

(suspenseful music)

(background traffic)

My name's David.

I'm an alcoholic.

Group: Hi, David.

I'm also, as most of you know,
a priest.

It's been a while
since I've spoken.

I was, in Reading,
quite a big deal.

I was given a lot
of responsibilities

in the diocese,
a lot for my age.

There were those that said
that I was to be

the next bishop,
quite a young bishop...

There were a group of Kids
I was counselling,

not all Catholics,
but I was pushing for a church

that reaches out.

I wasn't a trained counsellor,

but I'd done courses

and I thought the priesthood
was social work.

I-1 thought this boy,

I won't tell you his name,
was being abused,

and...l was trying to help him,

get him to admit
what had happened to him,

how he felt about it.

Things I felt he needed.

And he did tell me,
he told me all sorts.

It was his father,

raping him...

and the,
the difficult thing was...

the difficult thing was that

he told me he thought
he liked it.

And then he, um...

he killed himself.

It was very...

sad.

No-one blames me, but...

people kept telling me
to pray

and kept wanting
to pray themselves

and I led them, that's my job.

I led them in praying, and...

That's when I lost it.

The ability to pray.

I found I could only talk
to God,

I could only find God
within myself when I drank.

I found truth, solace...

I don't know.

And I took to starting the day
with a drink.

You know, I'm not blaming it
on losing the kid,

it was my own weakness.

I'm not saying that was
the reason, but it was the...

trigger.

Anyway...

(sighs)

I was no longer talked of
as a future bishop.

Someone saw what was happening

and I was taken away
and treated and...

helped.

And...

I moved in with my sister

and found a new life,

here.

It's rare for priests to move,

but Bristol was good enough
to welcome me, and...

I felt I was doing good.

Perhaps not good enough, but...

good work.

But...

lately,

things have become disturbed

and I-l guess I'm...

scared I'm gonna...

Right now, I need a drink
so badly.

(gentle music)

(hairspray hissing)

(background chatter)

(church bells ringing)

David: In the name
of the Father,

and of the Son,

and the Holy Spirit.

Congregation: Amen.

David: The Lord be with you.

Congregation: And with
your spirit.

David: Lord, we have sinned
against you.

Lord, have mercy.

Congregation: Lord, have mercy.

David: Show us your mercy
and your love.

Congregation: And grant us
your salvation.

May Almighty God
have mercy on us,

forgive our sins

and bring us
to everlasting life.

- Amen.
—-Congregation: Amen.

Err, welcome.

Um, welcome to something
a bit different.

(laughter)

Now, the Catholic Church
is not known for its thieving,

apart from all the things
we've stolen.

(laughter)

Um, but this today
is an audacious act of larceny,

taking back from
the Church of England

what is in fact
a Catholic event.

In fact, I'll go further,
a Catholic embrace.

A celebration not of plenty
but of eliminating want,

of giving and the understanding
of need.

St Isidore, often called
"The Farmer'

and our Saint of Harvest,
said this,

"When God's grace
touches our innermost minds

to bring understanding,

his word, which is received
by the ear,

can sink deep into our heart.

(murmuring in agreement)

Today is an act of love.

Let's start by singing
hymn number 432,

Come, Ye Thankful People, Come.

(organ playing)

I Come, ye thankful
people, come /

I Raise the song
of harvest home

Well, that was
a beautiful service.

Hm, yeah.

- Still fancy him though, right?
—Hm.

I hope he didn't think
I got my hair done for him.

You had a haircut.

You didn't get your hair 'done'.

I felt so ashamed sitting there.

Well, you shouldn't have.

(sighs)

I felt...

I feel like I'm ten years old.

Well, you're not!

And I say that as someone
who's shaved your armpits.

(gentle music)

(knocking)

(she mouths)

(rain pouring)

(engine revving)

Dad?

Your mother wanted a word.

(suspenseful music)

Who is he?

It doesn't matter.

I'm not discussing him with you.
- Why not?

Because I don't want
your judgement.

Twenty-six years,
just torn up like that.

That's not how I see it.

l...I don't have to justify
my choices to you.

You just walked out on a job
for a man who won't look at you.

How do you see it?

Did you come here
just to shout at me, Mum?

You were 16.

I told you it was a mistake.

You were so sure.

Until suddenly you throw it
all away, all that work.

All that work?

You made a commitment.

A commitment which ripped
my heart out.

Your dad's heart out,
and now it means nothing.

I made a commitment
which I-1 do not regret.

Of course you regret it.

But now I realise that...

Now you realise
you've thrown away

the best part of your life,

and he doesn't
want you back, right?

(door shuts)

You made this choice,

and he doesn't want you back.

That's the thing
you could never understand.

There's a point where you are,

as a woman where we all are,
so beautiful, but now...

I'm not?

(suspenseful music)

Go home.

I needed to see you.

You are making your problems
mine, Mum, like you always do.

Go home.

Don't remember
the wrong things from this.

You've made your point.

Go home.

(sighs) Hello, Father.

Err, hello, Muriel.

I was, um...

I was wondering
if 1-1 could talk to...

I wondered
if you fancied a walk?

(passionate music)

I enjoyed your harvest service.

I was pleased to see you there.

Surprised, if I'm honest.

There's something basic,
isn't there,

about the harvest as a time
for sharing.

It's originally Catholic.

Until Henry VIII,
it was a Catholic service

and the Irish...
- Yes, I think you mentioned that.

(David scoffs)
A few times! (Anna chuckles)

How long did it take you
to write it?

The, er, the sermon.

Depends on why you're asking.

I liked it.

All the stuff about
the true nature of giving.

I thought you gave a really,

a true analysis of generosity
as an exchange.

Ah, yeah, thank you.
(both chuckle)

Um, I-I write them very quickly,
often in the bath.

And then I revise them
quite a bit.

So, you-you write in the bath?

I actually dictate them
into my phone.

I can hear the water moving
when I listen back.

Oh. That's an odd image.

Well, I suppose there
isn't a great deal to do

but think when you're wet.

No.

My parents came to see me.
Furious.

—About leaving your...
- Yeah.

I thought you said they weren't
especially Catholic?

Well, my mum didn't want me
to become a nun,

but er, here I am.
—Doing it anyway.

Well, leaving.

Having ruined the best part
of my life

serving something fruitless.

You haven't ruined the best
part of your life.

If only you were my mother.

David: My parents were troubled
by my choice.

My sister thought it was great.

Anna: Not like the good old days
when that third child

would be stuffed off
to the clergy.

David: I think that's more
of an Anglican tradition.

Do they come to your services?

Err, both dead.

My sister is still
around though.

She's their natural daughter.
I was adopted.

Oh.

So, your parents were...

What, white?

Yeah.

Isn't it strange
how that question

is always the first one
people ask.

Oh. Sorry for
the boring question.

It's not boring at all.
Just marginally...

Racist.

Socially telling.
(Anna softly laughs)

I don't want to have sex
with you.

Sorry?

I, er...

I-1 don't know what this is,

er, but I've kept
thinking about it

and I just wanted to say

that I don't think
I want to have sex with you.

Err, okay.

Or, er, well, maybe I do.

Maybe I'm just saying
that to, um...

But sex, the idea of sex,

even, even when you were talking
about yourself, you know,

in the bath, actually that
didn't do it for me

because the idea of sex
is truly terrifying to me,

as I'm sure it is to you.

Err, I'm not even sure
how I feel about kissing.

I just don't know what this is.

The way you make me feel,

the way you made me feel
in an instant is...

It remains something I can't
explain or even understand.

Even now.

Something else, it's...

something more.

So...

That's it.

(steady sigh)

Now...

now you have to talk.

I just wanted to see you.

Why?

Because I like you.

(laughs)

What a safe word to use.

I suppose I was worried
about you.

Of course you are.

But, um...

thank you for the clarity.

About the sex.

(birdsong)

I don't want to have sex
with you,

but I do want to hold your hand.

(romantic music)

Okay.

Okay.

My position hasn't changed.

No, you're, er,
you're worried for me.

You don't want to have sex
with me

and you don't have feelings
for me.

Are you going to keep
saying the word 'sex'?

I know, now l've started,
I can't stop.

(sniffs)

My promises are everything
to me.

My service to God matters to me.

My feelings for you...

are ones of care, and...

friendship.

- Okay.
- All I wanna do...

I wanna help you.

You know,
I threw my life up for you.

And you can deny responsibility,
but I...

- Hang on, I'm responsible?
- Yes. Yes, you are.

And now you're sat here
like a wet pudding

and I feel like I'm the one
who has to make you feel okay.

I, er... should go.

Wait, you came to my service.

- Yes, I came to your church.
- Why?

To take part in a festival.

- Well, it felt like you were...
- What?

What?

I'd hoped it was an act
of friendship.

(scoffs)

It must be lovely
to have hopes like you've got.

l...(sighs)

I want to be your friend,
and "help" isn't a bad word.

I want to support you
in what you're doing.

I-1 want to...

I can't be that.

But I can be...

- I'd like to be your friend.
- Okay.

Well, I accept your friendship.

- You do?
- Yes.

—Thank you.
- Yes, I do.

But, er...l, um...

I'm tired now
and I want to go home.

Do you know the way?

I've, er, always been good
at retracing my steps.

You know, I was sure
when I became a nun

and I am equally sure now.

I-1 just know that God's path
for me has changed.

And I-I...

I believe that God's path
for you has changed too.

I am not some caged bird
who saw a means of escape.

I saw what you felt.

(dramatic music)

And I felt it too.

I didn't imagine it.

(dramatic music swells)