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[logo music plays]
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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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[projector music whirs]
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[light upbeat music]
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[Summer] My mother named me Summer
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hoping for breezy and chill.
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And what she got was a Type-A Virgo with stress eczema.
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What can I say?
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Exercising caution is my cardio.
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My toxic traits include perfectionism,
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anxious attachment, and positive affirmations.
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I am consistent. I am persistent. I go with the flow.
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I think you could afford a little more flow there, Summer.
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We just got lapped by a turtle on crutches.
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[chuckling]
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[Summer] The human equivalent of 6-7 is Glenn Winters.
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Vice Principal of the Year nominee,
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slash driver's ed teacher. It's giving budget cuts.
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This is fast enough, Mr. Winters.
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I'm not trying to impress anyone.
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Well, I am impressed with this hand placement.
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It's a perfect ten and two right there.
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Sometimes I like to cheat and just go twelve,
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or sometimes seven and five.
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-Good morning, Summer! -Not now, Mrs. Kapoor!
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-See you in class, though! -[marching band playing]
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We just got lapped by Mrs. Kapoor.
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You know what? How about a little music?
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Maybe that'll chill you out.
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[ Dreams by The Cranberries playing]
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Oh, yeah! Mm!
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♪ Now I'm feeling it Even more ♪
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Cranberries! Love The Cranberries.
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-[Summer scoffs] -[music off]
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Okay, not a Cran-stan.
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Trying to set a vibe for you there, Summer.
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This is my vibe, okay?
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I've prepped for this since February.
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Online tutorials, cue cards, I journaled affirmations.
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Journals plural, Mr. Winters.
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Know what? My daughter is the exact same way.
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Always planning.
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[clears throat] All right, you know what,
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this is my lunch break. If you don't mind...
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I am gonna take lunch.
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Oh my God! Is that gluten? I'm allergic!
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I don't think gluten is airborne. You're fine.
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[coughs]
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It is when you're spitting in my face!
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-[coughs] -[engine accelerates]
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-[Glenn] Whoa, whoa, whoa... -Oh my gosh! Oh my God!
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-How do I slow down? -Use the brakes.
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Summer, what are you doing? Brake! Stop, stop, stop! Brake!
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-Brake! Stop! -Oh my gosh! [screams]
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Brake! Brake! Recalibrating, recalibrating! Look out!
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-[Summer] Oh my God! -[Glenn screaming]
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[learners screaming]
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-Oh my God! Sorry! [Glenn] Move! Move!
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Oh no. Oh no... Oh my God! Brake, Summer! Brake!
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-We're all gonna die! -Summer, brake! Brake! Brake!
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-[tires screeching to a halt] -[mascot screaming]
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[relieved sigh]
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-[airbag pops loudly] -[warning signal pings]
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[Glenn coughs]
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[both coughing]
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Troy! You okay, buddy?
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Troy, you okay? Come on, let's get you up, buddy. There we go.
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Let's get this off of you.
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Breathe. There we go. Get some air.
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You good, buddy? Talk to me. Talk to me, Troy.
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I just saw some crazy shit in there.
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Are you...
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Are you high?
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Uh, I'm whatever you need me to be, Mr. Winters.
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-Boop! -Okay...
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[warning signal pinging]
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Well, your steering's a mess,
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but your mascot takedown is... elite.
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Did I fail?
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-It's a strong maybe. -[sighing]
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[rock music play loudly]
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[brakes screech]
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[Summer] My mom Milly's parking is like her love life,
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short-term and risky,
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which is fine with me because we're a good team.
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I remind her when the bills are due
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and she reminds me it's better late than pregnant.
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I've seen some beavers get pounded in my day, but damn!
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Sweetheart? Baby?
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Are you all right? In one piece?
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-I'm all right. Yeah. -Ten fingers, 10 toes?
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Mom, I think I failed.
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Oh, sweetie, it's not a drug test. It doesn't matter.
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This is fine. You're okay. I love you.
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Now...
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Who the hell let my daughter drive this deathtrap?
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[Glenn, stammers] I...
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You!
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Of course they've got some handsome man in charge
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who's probably too busy chasing tail to do your job?
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[stammers] Oh, yeah... Um, a beaver tail--
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No, this is exactly why we have to smash the patriarchy.
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-Amen! -Or a wo-man.
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-Uh... -[slight chuckle]
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I'm Milly Martin, I'm Summer's mom.
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Oh yeah, Summer. She's a terrible driver.
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-Well... -I'm...
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Glenn Winters, and I'm at your service. Like, forever.
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[slight chuckle]
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Forever's a little ambitious, don't you think?
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Oh, I'm the vice principal here.
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Ambition's, like, my brand.
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[both chuckle]
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[Milly] Um...
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[Summer] Look at this idiot falling for my mom!
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Wait a minute... Is my mom falling for this idiot?
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[sighs] This was not part of my five-year plan.
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♪ Right now you really Really just don't get it ♪
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♪ But you'll wake up someday and you'll regret it ♪
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♪ I'm never ever Gonna change my mind up ♪
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♪ So maybe you Should just stop ♪
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♪ I know that you think That this is just a phase ♪
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♪ But you'll get it someday When it all goes up in flames ♪
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♪ That either way ♪
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♪ I spent all summer Tryin' to change your mind ♪
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♪ It does what it takes And you know I got time ♪
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♪ You'll never be, Never be, never be right ♪
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♪ Cos I don't want it To work out ♪
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[song ends]
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[Grayson] Summer!
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Grayson, you're already packed?
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Already? I've made several coffees
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and trades on Frankfurt markets,
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we're almost about to leave, and your bag remains empty.
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Frankfurt, huh? Speaking of wieners...
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-Is Glenn on his way? -Any minute now.
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You're cool with that? With him?
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Well, I mean, the man's wardrobe is a war crime,
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but an award-winning male role model
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will look great on my application to Wharton.
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-You are 11! -Mom seems happy.
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So, why aren't you?
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She's tequila, and Glenn is lukewarm chamomile.
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-They don't seem like a match. -I wouldn't get too revved.
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Mom loves a new project for exactly four months.
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They've been together for 3 months, 1 week, 6 days.
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Tick-tock, Glenn. Tick-tock.
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[Grayson] Summer, if I miss paddleboarding with dolphins,
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my therapist is in for a wild session.
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[Milly] Almost ready, honey!
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Hey, bikinis... Are we sharing or no?
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I packed zero bikinis.
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She packed zero anything!
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Honey, how amazing is it
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that our family, us , are going to the Caribbean?
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To the El Dorado! Huh?
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Sounds like a strip club that takes Groupons.
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-Baby, it's a five-star resort. -We still owe back taxes,
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and Grayson's laptop literally smells like burning.
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Glenn has assured me
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that the Vice Principal Awards are taking care of everything.
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Which means no one loses any money if someone stays home.
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-Ha! -You guys do realize
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there are waterslides going through fake volcanos, right?
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-[gasps] It sounds amazing. -I know.
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Does this hypothetical person
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have a first name that rhymes with "bummer"?
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[Grayson] Six-foot waves every 90 seconds!
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Speed, danger and you get pummeled on a schedule.
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Oh, sign me up!
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This is no surprise! I've been dropping hints for days.
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I know, I've ignored every one.
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-Great. -Sweetheart, we are not
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"resort" people. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
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Glenn has been nominated for an international award,
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and I've already shaved my legs. We're going.
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-Mom... -[Grayson] Endless lazy river!
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Blackjack! Full-service spa!
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Enough, Grayson. It's giving influencer hostage video.
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-[car honking] -[Milly] Oh!
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-[Grayson] Car's here! Come on! -Thanks for the solidarity.
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Hey! You need to grab your sad duffle,
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paste on a smile and prepare to get sunburnt.
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Mm. Normal moms encourage sunscreen.
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"Normal"?
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It's like you're trying to insult me.
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-[Summer sighs] -Let's go!
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Summer vacation. Woo.
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[island music plays]
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-[Milly laughs] Wow! -I'm gonna go check us in.
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[Milly] Okay. It smells heavenly!
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Of course Glenn's the guy who claps when the plane lands.
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He wept openly while watching Penguins of Madagascar.
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Hey, emotional EQ is the new IQ, kids.
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-And that is not a thing. -It is.
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It's called empathy. Glenn has it. You should buy some.
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-Relax, Brené Brown. -[laughs]
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Ooh! Complimentary welcome cocktail!
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-Excuse you! -I would never.
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Yeah, that might be part of your problem, kid.
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-What? -I'm just saying.
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We are on vacation, and you could stand to loosen up.
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Milly, come and meet the VEEP squad!
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It's some of the other nominees!
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-Oh yay, fun! -Is this lemonade?
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-This is Milly. -Hi!
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That's Grayson right there. Yeah...
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[gentle music plays]
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Is this place the bomb-dot-com, or what?!
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-[loud slap] -[lemonade splashing]
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-[Celine] Ooh! -[Summer coughs]
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Wrong pipe!
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[Glenn] You're not gonna believe this, they upgraded us
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-to a villa! -You worked your magic?
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How?
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I just "Glenn'd" the heck out of it.
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[Milly chuckles]
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We're gonna go up to the room because
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somebody needs a bathroom pass.
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-Let's go, I got our bags. -[Milly] Yay!
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[door unlocks]
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[gasps] Oh my God...
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Is this how rich people feel? All the time?
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Glenn, this bathroom is bigger than my entire kitchen!
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[Grayson] Oh yeah, I can smell the dolphins from here.
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Actually, the kids' suite is gonna be next door.
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Whoa, wait! I'm sharing a room with Grayson?
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God gives His toughest battles to His braves soldiers.
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There, there.
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Will somebody give me a code to the safe.
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This is top-shelf snorkel gear.
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Triple-O Seven.
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I like it. James Bond, just slightly more dangerous.
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[snap teeth at each other]
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[both giggle]
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This is amazing.
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Okay, family, let's change and head to the pool.
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No, pass. I burn like a marshmallow,
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and those pools have the pH balance of Mountain Dew.
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Oh, good point! Why don't we all stay in?
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James Bondage and I can get cozy right here.
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I'll be shaken and stirred all afternoon long.
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-I'll grab my sunscreen. -Excellent choice.
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[Grayson] Whoa, Mom, it's better than the brochure!
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-[Milly] This is unbelievable! -[Glenn] Right?!
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[Glenn] I know, right! Getting our steps in!
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-There we go, watch yourself. -[Grayson] Yeah.
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[Grayson] Wow!
250
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,712
[people laughing and splashing]
251
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,283
[amazed] Oh, kiddo, look at this.
252
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,925
And where are we supposed to sit?
253
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:35,061
I guess you have to get here early.
254
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,129
[Glenn clears throat]
255
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:41,333
-I'll go look... over there. -[Milly] Maybe over there?
256
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,502
Nein!
257
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:47,440
I woke up at six precisely, for this lounger. Bitte, move.
258
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,451
Limited supply, unlimited demand...
259
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,853
It's vacation. Dial down the finance, bro.
260
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,788
[Glenn, shouting] Cannonball!
261
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:06,058
[Milly gasps, laughs]
262
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:08,360
Mama needs a margarita.
263
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,798
Dos margaritas, por favor!
264
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:19,205
Thank you. Yes...
265
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:22,942
Careful, beautiful. Pace yourself.
266
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,778
I've been pacing myself for 15 years,
267
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,115
but drinking's like a booze bike. The liver never forgets.
268
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:32,651
-Legends never retire! -[laughs]
269
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,420
Is that an octopus tattoo?
270
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,223
I'm good with all my limbs.
271
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:40,993
Oh, really? Like your... arms?
272
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,395
Sure. Let's go with that.
273
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,832
Flexibility comes in handy from my hot yoga classes.
274
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,735
People call me Captain Otto...
275
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:53,773
Parasailing, catamaran cruises, anything that gets you wet.
276
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,275
Tempting as that sounds, we just got here.
277
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:59,845
I'm Milly, and I'm here with someone.
278
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,581
Milly! I'm rocking this class!
279
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,450
-You are! -Aqua Zumba guy?
280
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,986
If you ever want someone a little less jazzy
281
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,322
and someone to, uh, rock your boat...
282
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,926
-[scoffs] Oh. Right. -You know where to find me.
283
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,963
[sighs]
284
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:21,267
Mama's still got it! Ooh...
285
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,978
-[podcast starts] - "Welcome to Episode 975
286
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:38,250
of daily affirmations for those looking to let go of control.
287
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:40,553
Please, as always, repeat after me...
288
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:44,456
-[inhales deeply] - I embrace uncertainty.
289
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,959
I embrace uncertainty.
290
00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:51,864
-Plans are for cowards. - Plans are for cowards.
291
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,732
-[Milly] Honey! -Ooh!
292
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,634
I got the margs!
293
00:13:55,768 --> 00:14:01,106
See you this afternoon, ladies! All right. Oh, yeah.
294
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,043
-Well, that's cute. -Ooh, yeah.
295
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,812
Oh, man! Summer's just sitting on her phone.
296
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,047
Should I be worried?
297
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,349
That's just resting teen face.
298
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:13,619
They're basically programmed to despise joy.
299
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,922
I just want your kids to like me. Kids usually like me.
300
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,491
Well... [giggles] Kids are dumb!
301
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:20,693
These are strong.
302
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:22,361
I mean, didn't your daughter
303
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,663
ever go through a phase like this?
304
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,132
Sadie? Yeah, sure.
305
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,969
But Sadie has totally found herself.
306
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,738
Oh? Well, speaking of...
307
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,709
Maybe we should sneak away and find a private pool?
308
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,278
Summer just needs a jumpstart. Watch this.
309
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:43,048
Hey, Summer! Summer! Go long!
310
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:46,018
Life throws challenges. I catch them gracefully.
311
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:47,286
-[Glenn] Summer! -[grunts]
312
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,288
-[Milly] Ooh! -Oh no.
313
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,423
-[swimmer] Nice catch, cheer! -I'm so sorry!
314
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:54,960
-I'm gonna go get ice. -Yeah.
315
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:56,495
Get more margs while you're up.
316
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,333
[dreamy music starts]
317
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:06,906
[stammers] I, um... I fell in.
318
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,141
Yeah, I... I caught that.
319
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:11,377
Unlike you and that football.
320
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:14,513
-I'm Summer, by the way. -Crosby.
321
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,550
Your dad's got a cannon. Terrible aim, though.
322
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:22,655
Oh, he's not my dad. He's just some dingus my mom is dating.
323
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:23,856
Temporarily.
324
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,624
[both chuckle]
325
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:29,061
-Let's get you a dry towel. -Yeah.
326
00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:30,663
And that's when I said, "Sorry,"
327
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,398
'cause, you know, Canadian.
328
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:35,167
Yeah, you have apologized three times already.
329
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,870
This seat has cost me dearly.
330
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,906
Summer, these are my parents, Terry and Celine.
331
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,441
Oh, you poor dear!
332
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:45,244
You'll never make the Rough Riders with those reflexes.
333
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:49,148
-We're Canadian! -Mom, please. Nobody cares.
334
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:50,749
Great. I love Toronto.
335
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:54,186
(Terry gulps) God forbid! We're from Saskatchewan.
336
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,456
-Dad... -Too bad your phone ate it, eh?
337
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,726
Here's to a tech-free week.
338
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:03,696
Oh, wait. You're here for the whole week? Awesome.
339
00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,464
Us, too.
340
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:08,934
-I mean... -Smells like love, eh?
341
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,636
[Celine] Oh, Terry, leave them be.
342
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,072
Summer! Got some ice for you. A bucket of ice.
343
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:15,040
-[swimmer] Heads up, old man! -Ice incoming.
344
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:16,642
-[Summer] Ah! -[Glenn] Oh wow!
345
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,711
-Thank God for free healthcare. -[Summer] Son of a--
346
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:20,512
-[groans] -[Terry] That's gonna hurt.
347
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,984
This will buff right out.
348
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:28,320
Mom, NASA called and they can see my bruise from space.
349
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,155
Oh, except you're not getting any calls
350
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,891
because your phone took a stupid little swim.
351
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:35,894
It died doing what it loved most... Being dropped by me.
352
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:37,429
[Milly chuckles]
353
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,898
Speaking of dropped, your boyfriend gave me a concussion.
354
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:43,535
It is barely a contusion, and trust me, honey,
355
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,105
he feels worse about it than you do, okay?
356
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,340
Mm... I feel pretty bad.
357
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,509
Mm. Well, he's trying.
358
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:54,179
Too hard, maybe, but he is. So, give him a shot.
359
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,316
[sighs] Fine, I'll lower my standards.
360
00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,785
[dramatic gasp] Never!
361
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:04,490
What I do think you should do is put this on for tonight.
362
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,992
It'll look like you actually came here on purpose,
363
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:11,397
and you might get to first base with that cute Canadian.
364
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,265
Why are you like this?
365
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,601
Because one of us has to be, my darling.
366
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:18,270
Come on, get dressed. This'll be fun.
367
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,243
Stupid Glenn.
368
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,679
[island beats playing]
369
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,886
[Milly] Wow! This looks fun.
370
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,088
-[Glenn] Yeah! -Wow.
371
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,091
Ahoy, eh!
372
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,493
Oh, look who's here.
373
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:47,099
-Just be yourself. -That's genuinely never worked.
374
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,469
-Here we go! Virgin! -That's personal, Glenn!
375
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:53,072
Virginity is a social construct.
376
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:56,108
Predators aren't. Guard your glass, babe.
377
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,078
-Wait, that-- -[stammers] No, I meant...
378
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:01,513
Honey, he means the daiquiri.
379
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:05,050
Um, sure, Glenn. You know I love my dessert slushed.
380
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,719
-[splashes] -[gasps] I am so sorry!
381
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,722
-I am so, so, so sorry. -Oh, honey!
382
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,758
Glenn, let's just go get some club soda.
383
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:15,294
-[Milly] Yes. -We're gonna get club soda!
384
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,429
-Okay. -I-- We're gonna get club soda.
385
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,499
Oh, baby! Do you just wanna go back to the room and change?
386
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,234
I'm actually pretty sick of change.
387
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,803
Honey!
388
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,249
-[sighs deeply] -[Crosby] Ahem...
389
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,384
I swear, if you come one foot closer...
390
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:42,254
Whoa! Good thing I measure steps in metric.
391
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:44,923
Sure, dude.
392
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,359
Are all American girls this tough?
393
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,596
Are all Canadian boys this thirsty for red flags?
394
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:55,334
Honestly? Yes. We're very nice.
395
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:59,171
Sorry, bad joke.
396
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,640
Wow! My first Canadian "sorry."
397
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,208
Plenty more where that came from.
398
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:04,643
[slight chuckle]
399
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:11,150
-Parents are the worst. -Well, yours seem nice.
400
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:15,020
[scoffs] They can't go five seconds without mentioning
401
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:19,258
poutine or humble bragging about universal healthcare.
402
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,460
And they're gonna flip
403
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,129
when they find out I didn't make Triple-A.
404
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:26,498
Steaks, or... sports?
405
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:31,103
Oh, hockey. Which I friggin' hate.
406
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:35,941
[mock gasp] Mon Dieu! Watch your sweet Canadian mouth.
407
00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:37,743
You think my mouth is sweet?
408
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,479
How sweet do you think it is?
409
00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:42,181
-On a scale of one -Funny, funny.
410
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:43,682
-to maple syrup, -Funny... funny.
411
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:48,453
-where would you put it? -[laughs] Funny.
412
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:50,789
Listen, are you gonna come back
413
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,559
to this tragic pirate thing and help me win trivia,
414
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,428
or... am I gonna have to pretend to know
415
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,430
more than five American states on my own?
416
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,199
Okay, this I need to hear!
417
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:02,067
Name five states.
418
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:05,604
Los Angeles, um...
419
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,906
-What? -That's not a state.
420
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,410
Is that not a state? Frick! Um... No, hold on.
421
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,245
I'm not gonna give you hints or anything.
422
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,680
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
423
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,715
I'm not leaving until you name five states, so...
424
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,688
Your sister hates me, Grayson.
425
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,057
She hates me.
426
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:28,427
Is this your first time dealing with teen daddy issues?
427
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,729
You're vice principal, man.
428
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,998
You know I'm not trying to replace your father, right?
429
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:35,968
He left when I was three, and he was a bum, so,
430
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,337
you don't have to worry about winning me over.
431
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,405
I get you, Glenn.
432
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:43,976
Effort doesn't look sexy, but it gets results.
433
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:46,278
You're an unusual child.
434
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,146
Okay...
435
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,649
Wanna land a permanent contract with the Martin family?
436
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:52,351
Summer's your key demographic,
437
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:54,553
and you're marketing yourself all wrong.
438
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,822
I'm listening.
439
00:20:56,955 --> 00:21:00,192
Teen girls can smell beta from miles away. They crave alpha.
440
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:04,796
Okay... Confused, but continue.
441
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:10,469
Give us less New Balance Dad, more Ryan Gosling in Drive .
442
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:14,039
Mystery. Danger. Toothpick.
443
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,209
Where am I gonna get a toothpick?
444
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:20,846
Okay, uh... let's recalibrate.
445
00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:24,750
Channel Regina George, not Gretchen Wieners.
446
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:28,053
Stop trying to make fetch happen.
447
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:30,922
Stop sucking up to Summer.
448
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,191
Start busting her balls.
449
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,027
[chuckles] Ha.
450
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,628
Fist bump.
451
00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:43,201
-You're an unusual man, Glenn. -Yeah, thank you.
452
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:44,503
[island music playing]
453
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,146
[microphone squealing]
454
00:21:54,279 --> 00:21:58,417
Ladies and gentlemen, guests of the resort!
455
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:04,990
Tonight, we continue a sacred El Dorado tradition.
456
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:08,560
Cannonball Carnage Classic!
457
00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:11,163
[guests cheering]
458
00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:14,666
A bold challenge has been thrown down...
459
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:19,137
Glenn Winters versus Summer Martin!
460
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,273
[crowd reacting]
461
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,507
"Summer", me?
462
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,710
Glenn had half a beer and went rogue!
463
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:28,113
- Ja! Finish him, Fraulein! -[raucous laugh]
464
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:29,314
Shocker!
465
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,383
-The German loves war, guys. -Okay...
466
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,952
Take him down, Summer! No mercy, eh!
467
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,320
[Milly] Yeah!
468
00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:37,622
[crowd chanting] Summer! Summer!
469
00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:39,925
Summer! Summer...
470
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:44,629
Dorado demands blood.
471
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:49,334
Come, Summer! Approach your ball.
472
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:53,338
[crowd continues chanting]
473
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:56,541
You get out of your shell and you into that ball!
474
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:59,111
-Come on, you can do this. -[Terry] Go on, Summer!
475
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,381
It smells like gym class feet in here.
476
00:23:02,514 --> 00:23:05,117
Remember, padre, alpha energy. Alpha, okay?
477
00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:08,253
Right, right, right. Hey! Are you gonna loosen up,
478
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:11,823
or you want me to send you a calendar invite for playtime?
479
00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,291
-Ooh! -[crowd jeering]
480
00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:15,961
Excuse me? I said I'd get in the dumb bubble, didn't I?
481
00:23:16,094 --> 00:23:18,263
I'm just saying, why don't you live dangerously for once
482
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:22,000
and skip the color-coded lists? Hold these. I want a good grip.
483
00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:24,870
It's on, old man! I'm about to code you into the ER!
484
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:29,007
Oh, I like it! Talking trash! Let's go. Come on, help me out.
485
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,610
-[Crosby] You got it? -Yeah, great.
486
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,779
-Okay, Glenn... -Come on, get me in. Push!
487
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,648
-Prepare to die, Winters! -Let him have it, honey!
488
00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:38,083
[Terry] Go get him!
489
00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:39,618
[Dieter] Come on, Summer!
490
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,186
Still thinking that's your guy?
491
00:23:41,319 --> 00:23:43,288
-Glenn? Oh, my goodness... -[Glenn] Push.
492
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,491
I'm trying this new thing called "commitment."
493
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,093
-[Summer] Let's go! -Bring the mayhem!
494
00:23:48,226 --> 00:23:49,628
Go, goblin mode!
495
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:51,463
I'll goblin your ass!
496
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,098
Did she say "gobbelin" his ass?
497
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:56,134
You can't handle me!
498
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:57,702
You can't handle me!
499
00:23:57,836 --> 00:24:00,205
[Summer and Glenn straining]
500
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:03,175
[crowd cheering]
501
00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:06,311
-[Summer] He's really annoying! -[Glenn] I'm gonna knock you!
502
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,314
[Summer] Come on, Summer. Mind over matter! Ouch!
503
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,649
[laughs]
504
00:24:12,384 --> 00:24:17,222
Can you smell-la-la-la what Glenn is cooking?
505
00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:20,192
Smell this! [straining]
506
00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:22,761
[Glenn] You're all right!
507
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,696
[Crosby] Come on, you got this.
508
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,499
You're on fire, girl!
509
00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,367
What? Where?
510
00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:32,671
No, it's a compliment, Summer. You're doing great.
511
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:35,440
No! Fire isn't great, Glenn! Stop, drop and roll!
512
00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:37,809
[Glenn] No, watch out, Summer! Watch out! No, no, no!
513
00:24:37,943 --> 00:24:39,911
[Dieter] Oh no! Oh no!
514
00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:41,279
-[Summer screams] -[guests reacting]
515
00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:42,948
Oh! Oh no.
516
00:24:43,081 --> 00:24:44,649
-Oh! Ooh, no. -Oh my...
517
00:24:44,783 --> 00:24:47,686
[Milly] Oh my God! Baby, are you okay? Sweetheart?
518
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,421
It's okay. It might not be that...
519
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:50,956
-[flame whooshing] -bad.
520
00:24:51,089 --> 00:24:54,326
-[Glenn] Wow, wow, wow! Fire! -[Celine] No! Not the cocktails!
521
00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:57,729
-[Bishop] Fire! Fire! -[Dieter] Holy Hindenburg!
522
00:24:57,863 --> 00:24:59,564
[Celine] Oh God, no!
523
00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:03,034
[hushed] Glenn, this is really bad.
524
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:04,936
Does anyone have an extinguisher?
525
00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:08,139
-[Dieter] Oh, the humanity! -[Grayson] Holy crap.
526
00:25:08,273 --> 00:25:11,042
[Milly] Okay, um, why don't we back away from the flames?
527
00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:14,246
Come on, we're going, we're going... [yells] Grayson!
528
00:25:14,379 --> 00:25:16,815
[sirens wailing]
529
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:22,087
[pop music playing over headphones]
530
00:25:33,765 --> 00:25:34,900
[Glenn from above] Arr, matey!
531
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,835
Do you wanna be the captain this time?
532
00:25:36,968 --> 00:25:39,704
[Milly] Ooh, only if you keep the snorkel on.
533
00:25:39,838 --> 00:25:41,473
Oh my God. Absolutely not.
534
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:43,775
[Glenn and Milly chuckle]
535
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,611
Grayson, I will pay you for your headphones.
536
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:48,513
[scoffs] With what money?
537
00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:51,149
And besides, I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.
538
00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:53,184
First one to the loungers dominates the economy.
539
00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,086
[Glenn] Permission to come aboard?
540
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:56,855
I finished swabbing the poop deck.
541
00:25:56,988 --> 00:25:58,690
- [Milly] Ooh! -Speaking of dominates...
542
00:25:58,823 --> 00:25:59,991
Good luck.
543
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:04,429
There's gotta be a midnight boat to Mexico.
544
00:26:05,096 --> 00:26:08,700
Okay, I'm gonna find someplace less scarring to sleep.
545
00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:12,070
-[door opening, closing] -[pop music continues]
546
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,906
[birds chirping]
547
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,844
-[alarm beeps] -[spy music plays]
548
00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:32,157
[zipper closes]
549
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:35,894
-[bell chimes] -[buckle clicks]
550
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,265
-[Grayson grunts] -[ninja star slicing sound]
551
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:45,136
-[water splashes softly] -[birds chirping]
552
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,588
And on the seventh day, he monopolized.
553
00:27:03,722 --> 00:27:07,225
[Danny clears throat] Mr. Grayson, Shirley Temple?
554
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,261
Make it a double. It's gonna be a long day.
555
00:27:10,395 --> 00:27:12,864
[lazy island vibe music]
556
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:21,072
[plastic flaps]
557
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:24,542
See? I can be spontaneous... -[engine revving]
558
00:27:24,676 --> 00:27:26,578
If spontaneous combustion counts.
559
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:28,680
[engine stops]
560
00:27:31,516 --> 00:27:32,717
[girl whoops]
561
00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:38,089
All right, later, Trevon! You absolute chode!
562
00:27:38,223 --> 00:27:42,961
[whooping] Oh, my God! That was crazy. Really.
563
00:27:44,429 --> 00:27:45,430
-[sniffs] -Whoa!
564
00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,399
[engine revs]
565
00:27:47,899 --> 00:27:50,869
Did I miss Fyre Festival? Again?
566
00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:53,371
It was an accident.
567
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:57,075
Oh. Damn, girl! Glad someone here knows how to party.
568
00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:59,344
-It was lit. -I was supposed to meet up
569
00:27:59,477 --> 00:28:01,546
with my old man yesterday, but I got sidetracked
570
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,049
by that adults-only place down at the other beach.
571
00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:06,985
[squeals] Banana-hammocked himbos. My kryptonite.
572
00:28:07,118 --> 00:28:11,456
-Sounds festive. -Yeah.
573
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,261
Technically, this was my mom's new terrible boyfriend's fault.
574
00:28:16,394 --> 00:28:20,899
Ooh, do tell! I love a villain origin story.
575
00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:23,768
Most girls would key his Tesla, call it a day.
576
00:28:24,269 --> 00:28:28,073
This guy, he's just so... beneath her.
577
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:30,942
Then get beneath him. Bang him into Breakup Town.
578
00:28:31,076 --> 00:28:33,912
[scoffs] Gross! I don't dumpster dive!
579
00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:38,917
[laughs] Neither do I! No, but seriously.
580
00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:41,820
Don't let Mom's latest dick ruin paradise.
581
00:28:42,787 --> 00:28:44,422
Anyway... [clears throat]
582
00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:46,891
Hit me up if you wanna launch a family coup.
583
00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:49,027
Um, honestly, it'll help me dodge mine.
584
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,462
Toodles!
585
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:56,901
How about see you never, Harbor Ho.
586
00:28:57,802 --> 00:29:00,371
[island music playing]
587
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:09,114
Hey, kid, are...
588
00:29:10,281 --> 00:29:12,784
Are you using all these chairs?
589
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:15,887
"Using" is subjective. You got Venmo?
590
00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:17,789
Who made you Secretary of Seating?
591
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,492
Thanks for stopping by. Cash or crypto only.
592
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:23,228
How about a peak at lefty?
593
00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:26,731
Reducing women to a single boob is why we lost the midterms.
594
00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:29,367
Thanks for the feminist lecture.
595
00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:31,402
[Bishop clears throat]
596
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:38,076
Mr. Martin, you are aware that the hoarding of loungers
597
00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:40,979
violates resort policy.
598
00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:43,648
You built the system, Bishop, I just broke it.
599
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:48,052
You are treading very dangerous waters, young man.
600
00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:51,289
Well, lucky for me, I brought floaties.
601
00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:52,991
-Hm! -Thank you.
602
00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:55,827
-Uh, cash? -In the box, please.
603
00:29:57,095 --> 00:29:58,329
Thank you.
604
00:30:03,334 --> 00:30:06,337
-Mm! Love hotel eggs. -[Milly] Hm!
605
00:30:08,072 --> 00:30:10,275
And where have you been, young man?
606
00:30:10,408 --> 00:30:14,112
Relax, Mom. Treat yourself to some extra whip on that venti.
607
00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:17,615
What?
608
00:30:18,516 --> 00:30:20,051
[chuckles] Okay...
609
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:27,559
What? Like your family's never exploded a hut?
610
00:30:27,692 --> 00:30:29,194
Oh yeah.
611
00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:31,996
Sorry, everybody, if we ruined your evening with our balls.
612
00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:34,365
Flaming balls, no less.
613
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,034
Can everyone please stop saying "balls"?
614
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,635
[hushed] Sorry. Sorry.
615
00:30:39,571 --> 00:30:43,875
-Dad? Hey! Oh my God! Hi! -Sadie! Sadie, you're here.
616
00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:46,377
Oh, my goodness! Oh, I missed you!
617
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,079
Sadie, hi!
618
00:30:48,213 --> 00:30:51,416
We... totally knew you were coming!
619
00:30:51,549 --> 00:30:53,852
Well, I wanted my best girls all together
620
00:30:53,985 --> 00:30:57,088
for this very special trip.
621
00:30:57,222 --> 00:30:58,423
Sorry, buddy. No offense.
622
00:30:58,556 --> 00:31:01,326
It's okay. I'm post-gender and SPF 50.
623
00:31:01,459 --> 00:31:06,631
Oh, you must be Summer. I feel like I already know you.
624
00:31:06,764 --> 00:31:08,233
I can't imagine why.
625
00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:10,435
-[laughing loudly] -[Glenn] Sit, sit, sit.
626
00:31:10,568 --> 00:31:13,137
So, what happened? You were supposed to be here days ago.
627
00:31:13,271 --> 00:31:16,708
I know. I got so tied up launching this, like,
628
00:31:16,841 --> 00:31:18,343
charity startup thing.
629
00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:22,280
It's microloans for rescue animals. I mean, you get it.
630
00:31:22,413 --> 00:31:24,782
[Glenn laughs] Look at my Sadie changing the world!
631
00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:26,684
[chuckles] I am.
632
00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:28,786
Oh, Summer, totally forgot.
633
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,358
I wanted to apologize to you with apology pancakes,
634
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:37,495
extra chocolate syrup there because, you know, guilt.
635
00:31:38,129 --> 00:31:39,864
-Great. -And that's not all.
636
00:31:39,998 --> 00:31:41,566
[clears throat] Summer, do you remember
637
00:31:41,699 --> 00:31:44,269
our little epic bumper ball battle?
638
00:31:44,836 --> 00:31:48,506
-Do I remember? -You're not gonna believe this!
639
00:31:49,974 --> 00:31:52,043
-I won a prize! -What?
640
00:31:52,176 --> 00:31:54,579
My third-degree burns weren't trophy enough?
641
00:31:54,712 --> 00:31:56,581
Oh, sweetheart, they were second-degree at best.
642
00:31:56,714 --> 00:31:58,917
No, no, no, it's way better. Check this out.
643
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:02,887
A swim for two at Cetacean Station
644
00:32:03,021 --> 00:32:06,724
with El Dorado's most experienced dolphin
645
00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:11,129
named Bubbles who's, like, 98 in dolphin years.
646
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:14,365
That means Bubbles survived the Titanic! The movie.
647
00:32:15,033 --> 00:32:19,037
So, who's your lucky plus-one gonna be, Mr. Winter?
648
00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:20,505
-Who should I take? -[Milly] Hm?
649
00:32:20,638 --> 00:32:23,441
[Glenn] Who should I take? Eeny, meeny, miny...
650
00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:27,145
I'm going with my bumper-ball buddy, obvee, Summer!
651
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:30,081
-We're swimming with a dolphin. -[Sadie laughs loudly]
652
00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,151
[Milly whispers] Have fun with Free Willy's side piece.
653
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:35,520
[excited crowd noise]
654
00:32:35,653 --> 00:32:38,289
Are you sure you don't want Mom? She lives for an audience.
655
00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:40,892
Or Sadie? She traveled all this way to see you.
656
00:32:41,025 --> 00:32:42,327
I owe you this, Summer. Okay?
657
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:45,229
I'm gonna win you over if it's the last thing I do!
658
00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,600
[MC] Ladies, gentlemen and non-marine mammals,
659
00:32:49,734 --> 00:32:53,438
please find your seats. The show will start soon. Ha!
660
00:32:53,571 --> 00:32:54,872
[crowd laughing]
661
00:32:55,006 --> 00:32:57,342
Seriously, I'm good watching from the sidelines.
662
00:32:57,475 --> 00:32:59,377
Summer, chill out, would you?
663
00:32:59,510 --> 00:33:01,612
It's just, like, a really big fish.
664
00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:04,582
You've got nothing to worry about. This dolphin is a pro.
665
00:33:06,417 --> 00:33:08,953
There you go! You ready? [laughs] Look at us!
666
00:33:09,087 --> 00:33:11,122
We're the dolphin people!
667
00:33:11,255 --> 00:33:13,424
[Glenn laughs]
668
00:33:14,325 --> 00:33:17,395
[Glenn chirps like a dolphin]
669
00:33:17,528 --> 00:33:20,298
-[stomach growls] -Oh God...
670
00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:23,401
[MC] Welcome, everyone, to El Dorado's pride and joy,
671
00:33:23,534 --> 00:33:26,037
- Cetacean Station! -[crowd cheers]
672
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:31,342
The Caribbean's best dolphin show! Whoo! Look at that!
673
00:33:31,876 --> 00:33:36,748
[Glenn excited] Jumpy! Splashy! We're in the splash zone!
674
00:33:36,881 --> 00:33:39,984
[MC] Hey, everyone! We have a treat for you today.
675
00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:41,252
Yeah, meet Bubbles.
676
00:33:41,386 --> 00:33:42,787
Here she is,
677
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,957
Our most beloved dolphin. She's 98 years young,
678
00:33:46,090 --> 00:33:50,661
and retiring in dos dias. That's "two days" in Spanish.
679
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:53,031
-Wow! -A little Espan-y'all...
680
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:54,832
[all laughing]
681
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:56,901
-[Summer] Oh God. - Say hi, Bubbles!
682
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,469
Do the wavey thing! I love it.
683
00:33:58,603 --> 00:33:59,971
-Whoa! - Look at that! Wavey!
684
00:34:00,104 --> 00:34:04,175
Come on, Wavey. That's my baby... Bubbles.
685
00:34:04,308 --> 00:34:06,944
Ew! Smells like Bubbles is two days from death,
686
00:34:07,078 --> 00:34:08,446
if you know what I mean.
687
00:34:08,579 --> 00:34:11,416
[MC] Do it, do it! Oh! Look at that.
688
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:16,220
-Pretty sure that's me. [moans] -What? Oh no, no, no...
689
00:34:16,354 --> 00:34:18,656
Those pancakes I got you, they...
690
00:34:18,790 --> 00:34:20,892
they were supposed to be gluten free, weren't they?
691
00:34:21,025 --> 00:34:22,326
-Glenn! -I'm sorry.
692
00:34:22,460 --> 00:34:24,629
They were guilt pancakes.
693
00:34:24,762 --> 00:34:26,798
Doesn't gluten cancel out guilt?
694
00:34:26,931 --> 00:34:27,832
-No. -[water bubbling]
695
00:34:27,965 --> 00:34:29,467
[Glenn gags]
696
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:33,304
[MC] Guys, I'm seeing some unusual underwater turbulence.
697
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:35,473
Glenn, there's more coming, my biological weapon.
698
00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:38,776
Just try and hold it. Hold it in. [gagging]
699
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,479
I'm so sorry, Bubbles. It's a medical condition.
700
00:34:41,612 --> 00:34:43,047
[MC] All right, everyone,
701
00:34:43,181 --> 00:34:44,615
Bubbles seems to be reacting strangely to something.
702
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:47,218
Let's see if we can calm her down.
703
00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:48,786
-[Bubbles squealing] -Hey, my girl.
704
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,621
Hey, hey. Deep, calming breaths.
705
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,157
In the mouth, out the spout.
706
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:54,759
-[Glenn groaning] -Oh my God.
707
00:34:54,892 --> 00:34:56,694
Dolphins are very sensitive creatures.
708
00:34:56,828 --> 00:34:58,296
This is a very delicate ecosystem!
709
00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:01,833
Oh, okay. Sorry, everybody.
710
00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:04,702
There was a lot more zucchini in that omelet than I thought!
711
00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:06,771
Stop trying to take credit for my farts.
712
00:35:06,904 --> 00:35:09,107
-I'm trying to help you out. -You're not helping.
713
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,843
Yeah, sorry, everybody! Oh, gosh, I...
714
00:35:11,976 --> 00:35:15,613
I drank some tap water right out of a tap! Glug, glug, glug.
715
00:35:15,746 --> 00:35:19,951
-[Bubbles moaning, chittering] -Bubbles? Hey, hey... Bubbles?
716
00:35:20,084 --> 00:35:23,554
Oh, mein Gott! Ze dolphin is having ze stroke!
717
00:35:23,688 --> 00:35:25,423
-[Bubbles moaning] -[crowd reacting]
718
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,191
Bubbl-- Kimberly?
719
00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:28,960
Oh God, no! Oh my God!
720
00:35:29,093 --> 00:35:30,995
I never told her how I felt! Kimberly!
721
00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:32,630
I thought her name was Bubbles.
722
00:35:32,763 --> 00:35:34,699
That's her stage name because she's a star.
723
00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:37,435
You think the Gaga family named their daughter Lady?
724
00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:39,704
-[crowd gasping] -[Woman] That dolphin's dead!
725
00:35:39,837 --> 00:35:41,305
-[crowd gasping] -Oh my God! Kimberly?
726
00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:43,274
We literally manslaughtered a dolphin!
727
00:35:43,407 --> 00:35:45,009
I've literally farted Kimberly to death!
728
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,712
Kimberly? Oh my God! What do I tell her grandkids?
729
00:35:47,845 --> 00:35:49,280
-She has grandkids? - I told them
730
00:35:49,413 --> 00:35:50,815
I loved their grandmother,
731
00:35:50,948 --> 00:35:52,717
but I couldn't do anything because she's a dolphin,
732
00:35:52,850 --> 00:35:54,485
and dudes and dolphins don't go together!
733
00:35:54,619 --> 00:35:56,053
Okay, okay! Cut it out, man!
734
00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:58,823
You're making this way weirder than it already is. Just stop!
735
00:35:58,956 --> 00:36:01,058
You know what, Glenn? We have to save her.
736
00:36:01,192 --> 00:36:02,460
Yeah, we have to.
737
00:36:02,593 --> 00:36:05,630
-Ready? Three, two, one. -Yeah. Yes.
738
00:36:06,597 --> 00:36:08,866
Okay, Bubbles, here I come.
739
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,269
[Summer] Swim faster! I'll meet you on the other side.
740
00:36:11,402 --> 00:36:13,371
Save her for me, please!
741
00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,473
Here I come, Bubbles!
742
00:36:15,606 --> 00:36:17,842
[sobbing] I've always cared about her.
743
00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:19,510
From the day I met her.
744
00:36:19,644 --> 00:36:24,415
-I'm gonna save you, Bubbles. -[sobbing] Kimberly!
745
00:36:24,982 --> 00:36:27,485
-Be careful with her. -Bad day to be a dolphin.
746
00:36:27,618 --> 00:36:30,254
Get her up, come on. Okay.
747
00:36:30,388 --> 00:36:32,490
We got her. Okay, baby girl.
748
00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:37,361
Okay, all right. Summer's emissions took you out,
749
00:36:37,495 --> 00:36:39,230
now my emissions are gonna bring you back.
750
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:40,831
All right, Summer,
751
00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:43,201
-I'll breathe into the blowhole. - Are you marine biologists?
752
00:36:43,334 --> 00:36:44,969
-You're gonna compress. -Compress what, Glenn?
753
00:36:45,102 --> 00:36:47,838
-She's mostly cartilage. -Then compress cartilage
754
00:36:47,972 --> 00:36:50,241
like you've never compressed cartilage before. You ready?
755
00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:51,609
-Yeah. -Okay, baby girl.
756
00:36:51,742 --> 00:36:53,744
Stay with us. Here we go.
757
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:59,317
[voice echoes] Okay. One... two, three.
758
00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:05,223
-[squelches] -[blowing]
759
00:37:05,356 --> 00:37:06,958
[Summer strains]
760
00:37:08,159 --> 00:37:09,627
Stay with us, Kimberly!
761
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,463
Come on, Kimberly. Compress! Compress!
762
00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:15,366
Don't go toward the light!
763
00:37:18,836 --> 00:37:21,739
-[Glenn gags, blowing] -Oh, that's unpleasant.
764
00:37:26,677 --> 00:37:28,446
Compress! Compress!
765
00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:31,616
Goddamn, Kimberly, you're so slippery!
766
00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:34,819
[Glenn] Okay, come on. We're good. Come on, baby!
767
00:37:34,952 --> 00:37:37,221
[Milly] I guess this is why you get the travel insurance?
768
00:37:37,355 --> 00:37:40,858
Pretty sure tongue-in-blowhole voids the policy, Mom.
769
00:37:41,325 --> 00:37:42,960
Come on, girl, stay with us!
770
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,795
Yes, Glenn. I think you're crushing it!
771
00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,664
Keep going, keep going! Keep blowing! Blow!
772
00:37:48,332 --> 00:37:50,901
[retching breaths]
773
00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:53,504
Compress! Compress!
774
00:37:55,072 --> 00:37:56,641
[blows, retches]
775
00:37:56,774 --> 00:38:00,645
Am I just a bit dehydrated, or is this kinda hot?
776
00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:03,681
It's like Shark Week meets Fifty Shades .
777
00:38:09,553 --> 00:38:11,355
[spurting]
778
00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:13,324
-[Kimberly chittering] -[MC] Oh my God!
779
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:14,959
[Glenn] Take a deep breath!
780
00:38:15,092 --> 00:38:17,461
-Oh, my God! -[crowd cheering wildly]
781
00:38:21,499 --> 00:38:22,867
What just happened?
782
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:24,635
[Glenn] We did it!
783
00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,004
She's alive. Oh, she's alive! Oh, baby girl!
784
00:38:28,606 --> 00:38:30,041
It's a flipping miracle!
785
00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:33,077
[Terry] Yeah!
786
00:38:34,712 --> 00:38:36,447
Told you I'd win you over.
787
00:38:36,580 --> 00:38:39,450
All it took was a little mouth-to-blowhole.
788
00:38:39,583 --> 00:38:41,652
You really need to work on your phrasing.
789
00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:43,354
I did that on porpoise.
790
00:38:43,788 --> 00:38:45,523
[chuckles] Porpoise!
791
00:38:45,656 --> 00:38:48,592
Milly! We did it!
792
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,362
It worked!
793
00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:54,799
The dolphin lifesavers!
794
00:38:54,932 --> 00:38:57,134
[Kimberly chittering happily]
795
00:38:58,903 --> 00:39:02,373
[Glenn, whooping] I saved that dolphin! Did you see that?
796
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,342
Uh-uh-uh! We saved that dolphin.
797
00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:08,045
We saved that dolphin. You were so good at those compressions.
798
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:10,114
[Summer] Thanks again for covering for me.
799
00:39:10,247 --> 00:39:12,450
[Glenn] No worries! That's what families do, kid.
800
00:39:12,950 --> 00:39:17,688
But... how are you so fine with being fart-famous?
801
00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:19,623
Well, you grow up a homeschooled bassoonist,
802
00:39:19,757 --> 00:39:23,194
you learn to live with the looks and the laughs.
803
00:39:23,327 --> 00:39:25,629
This is probably TMI, but my first marriage broke up
804
00:39:25,763 --> 00:39:27,832
because I tried to dictate everything.
805
00:39:27,965 --> 00:39:32,169
How we looked as a family. How other families look at us.
806
00:39:32,303 --> 00:39:35,706
Turns out, life is a lot more fun if you just stop caring.
807
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,844
Even if that means your mugshot now hangs at Cetacean Station.
808
00:39:40,678 --> 00:39:45,649
Look, Summer, whatever this is...
809
00:39:47,084 --> 00:39:50,721
your mom makes me feel like I'm good enough.
810
00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:57,528
Sometimes, she even makes me feel like I'm great, and...
811
00:39:58,763 --> 00:40:00,698
I would like to hold onto that.
812
00:40:01,999 --> 00:40:07,004
I know you're trying, Glenn. It's low-key cool.
813
00:40:07,705 --> 00:40:10,875
Which is insane because... bassoon.
814
00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:14,578
-Yeah, bassoons are weird. -[Crosby] Summer!
815
00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:18,783
[Glenn] Ooh, look who's staging a rescue. [chuckles]
816
00:40:19,283 --> 00:40:21,519
Go! Fly toward the light.
817
00:40:21,652 --> 00:40:23,754
You've suffered enough, my child.
818
00:40:29,326 --> 00:40:31,495
[gentle music playing]
819
00:40:33,197 --> 00:40:36,500
[Crosby] So, how does it feel to finally vacation? As a verb?
820
00:40:36,634 --> 00:40:40,171
[Summer] Oh, mildly terrifying. Relaxation feels like a scam.
821
00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:42,006
[Crosby chuckles]
822
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:45,543
Sounds like you grew up in one of those houses where messcore
823
00:40:45,676 --> 00:40:47,111
was the default setting.
824
00:40:47,244 --> 00:40:50,681
Always. And my mom is basically a kid.
825
00:40:51,148 --> 00:40:55,119
She's the best, but... someone had to adult.
826
00:40:55,653 --> 00:40:58,489
Sorry! Uptight-girl rant over.
827
00:40:59,056 --> 00:41:02,126
Uptight? You're a one-woman wrecking crew.
828
00:41:03,427 --> 00:41:05,129
Summer, you blew up a tiki hut,
829
00:41:05,262 --> 00:41:07,164
nearly assassinated a dolphin...
830
00:41:07,898 --> 00:41:10,668
-Are you intimidated, Crosby? -Try "inspired."
831
00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:13,838
-Shut up. -I'm serious.
832
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:17,174
If you can weather all those things and survive, then...
833
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,811
maybe I can tell my dad I don't wanna play hockey next year.
834
00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:25,616
You can. If I can survive my family, so can you.
835
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:27,751
Live your truth.
836
00:41:29,453 --> 00:41:34,992
Well, truthfully... I wanted to kiss you last night.
837
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:38,529
But, you know, you were on fire.
838
00:41:39,530 --> 00:41:42,833
Well, no flames now, so...
839
00:41:49,106 --> 00:41:51,008
Hello, peasants!
840
00:41:52,877 --> 00:41:56,313
[raucous laugh] 'Sup, Arsonista! Eh-bae!
841
00:41:56,447 --> 00:41:59,650
Mind if I crash whatever sad dry hump this was?
842
00:41:59,783 --> 00:42:00,985
You're topless.
843
00:42:01,118 --> 00:42:03,554
I'm wearing a sign. It's called fashion.
844
00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:06,991
Anyway, Crosby, I'm freshly single
845
00:42:07,124 --> 00:42:11,195
if you wanna pivot from Zamboni to Zambone-me...
846
00:42:11,328 --> 00:42:13,664
-Oh my God. -[Gary] Miss Winters!
847
00:42:15,332 --> 00:42:17,234
Miss Winters, this is your final warning!
848
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,337
Oh, calm your nips, Gary! You love it.
849
00:42:21,238 --> 00:42:24,642
Okay. Later, puck boy. Stay basic, pyro. [yelps]
850
00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:29,079
That sign is resort property! Miss Winters! Miss Winters!
851
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:32,683
Insane to believe that Glenn created that!
852
00:42:32,816 --> 00:42:36,120
Yeah, your sister's a whole thing!
853
00:42:36,253 --> 00:42:39,723
-[scoffs] She is not my sister. -Not yet.
854
00:42:39,857 --> 00:42:42,793
But Glenn flew her in special. He's down bad.
855
00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:50,801
I gotta go get ready for yoga. I'll see you later.
856
00:42:51,602 --> 00:42:54,705
Okay, um... sure.
857
00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:08,419
Could somebody give me a code for the safe?
858
00:43:08,552 --> 00:43:11,355
[voice distorts] This is top-shelf snorkel gear.
859
00:43:13,557 --> 00:43:16,193
I wanted my best girls together
860
00:43:16,327 --> 00:43:20,331
-for this very special trip. -[voice distorts]
861
00:43:21,932 --> 00:43:25,235
I wanna hang on to that.
862
00:43:25,703 --> 00:43:28,572
James Bond, just slightly more dangerous.
863
00:43:29,573 --> 00:43:31,809
James Bond wouldn't stash his sleep apnea strips
864
00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:34,211
with his flippers, Glenn.
865
00:43:34,345 --> 00:43:36,246
[beeps, unlocks]
866
00:43:44,822 --> 00:43:46,123
Gosh, no.
867
00:43:46,256 --> 00:43:48,392
No, no, no! This cannot happen. This cannot happen!
868
00:43:48,525 --> 00:43:50,260
No kidding, Nancy Shrew.
869
00:43:50,394 --> 00:43:53,097
Sadie? What the hell are you doing?
870
00:43:53,230 --> 00:43:54,999
I'm celebrating your mom's upcoming divorce!
871
00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:57,167
Glenn wants to wife up my mom!
872
00:43:57,301 --> 00:44:00,404
A woman who's boxed wine and drugstore mascara,
873
00:44:00,537 --> 00:44:02,673
all wrapped up in an abandoned vision board.
874
00:44:02,806 --> 00:44:06,744
Hey! You're the one to talk! Your dad's the king of cringe!
875
00:44:06,877 --> 00:44:09,246
If they get married, Glenn'll be dorking around our house
876
00:44:09,380 --> 00:44:11,582
shooting me unironic finger guns. Forever!
877
00:44:11,715 --> 00:44:16,387
Yeah, and you know what's extra vile? This is my inheritance.
878
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,723
Oma smuggled it past Checkpoint Charlie in nature's coin purse.
879
00:44:20,157 --> 00:44:22,426
That's one way to part the Iron Curtain, am I right?
880
00:44:22,559 --> 00:44:25,162
Okay. Well, let's leave Oma's purse out of this.
881
00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:26,497
He's thoughtful,
882
00:44:26,630 --> 00:44:29,266
so he'll want to propose at the Vice Principal Awards.
883
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,970
Big stage, karaoke... My mom's actual religion.
884
00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:35,606
Oh! So then we agree? It's sabotage time.
885
00:44:35,739 --> 00:44:38,442
[gasps] It's like The Parent Trap , but we'll make it evil.
886
00:44:38,575 --> 00:44:40,044
Okay, so what's the plan?
887
00:44:40,177 --> 00:44:42,379
[scoffs] Summer, chill. This is very in my wheelhouse.
888
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:45,015
Welcome to the sisterhood of the traveling homewreck.
889
00:44:45,149 --> 00:44:47,051
Take a seat in my office.
890
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:05,069
Deep breath, ladies. Reach for the sky.
891
00:45:05,903 --> 00:45:09,773
Feel that stretch deep in your spine.
892
00:45:09,907 --> 00:45:11,909
[Milly sighs happily]
893
00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:13,444
Finally, some girl time.
894
00:45:13,577 --> 00:45:16,814
I know. You and me, getting bendy on a Caribbean beach.
895
00:45:16,947 --> 00:45:18,916
-Who would've thunk? -Mm.
896
00:45:19,049 --> 00:45:21,452
Forward fold...
897
00:45:22,753 --> 00:45:25,556
Open the hips...
898
00:45:26,123 --> 00:45:28,492
I still can't believe we're here.
899
00:45:28,625 --> 00:45:31,962
I mean, it's been...
900
00:45:32,096 --> 00:45:34,031
-shockingly tolerable. -[Milly gasps]
901
00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:37,201
You'd better be careful. Sounds like you're having fun.
902
00:45:37,334 --> 00:45:40,137
Join me now for downward dog.
903
00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:45,976
[Milly] I needed this after the flight.
904
00:45:46,110 --> 00:45:51,615
Transition into baby... [sighs] ...cobra.
905
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:58,255
Breathing through it, enjoying each breath... together.
906
00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:01,925
Release the pelvisss...
907
00:46:02,059 --> 00:46:05,796
That is where we hold all of our tension.
908
00:46:05,929 --> 00:46:09,733
You see, ladies, flexibility is a virtue.
909
00:46:09,867 --> 00:46:13,670
One we can come and celebrate every day.
910
00:46:13,804 --> 00:46:16,039
Sometimes more than once.
911
00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:18,108
The man should be on a watchlist.
912
00:46:18,542 --> 00:46:20,744
He's like if HPV had a timeshare.
913
00:46:20,878 --> 00:46:22,646
-[Summer grimaces] -[slight scoff]
914
00:46:23,413 --> 00:46:25,482
There was a point where I would've followed that
915
00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:28,051
gas-station boner pill right into the sunset.
916
00:46:28,185 --> 00:46:30,387
And ghosted him right before sunrise.
917
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:33,857
[laughs] Hey, I owe you to one of those guys.
918
00:46:33,991 --> 00:46:35,926
-Mom! -It's true.
919
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:41,465
Find yourself in an easy pose and just relax.
920
00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:46,737
Oh yeah. Ooh, yeah!
921
00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:50,741
-But now you have Glenn. -He's less...
922
00:46:51,275 --> 00:46:55,179
walking crime spree, and more emotional support pug.
923
00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:57,514
Genetically weak and prone to snoring?
924
00:46:57,648 --> 00:46:58,849
No!
925
00:46:59,583 --> 00:47:04,121
Kind. He actually listens to me when I ramble.
926
00:47:05,789 --> 00:47:08,125
Usually, you would've already gotten bored and rambled off.
927
00:47:08,258 --> 00:47:11,628
Mm, yeah, Milly's famous four-month expiration date?
928
00:47:11,762 --> 00:47:13,230
I'm aware, sweetheart.
929
00:47:13,363 --> 00:47:19,336
Join me now in a shavanasa... or whatever that means to you.
930
00:47:21,939 --> 00:47:25,909
I wonder if Glenn needs someone who's a little... easier.
931
00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:27,878
But then,
932
00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:30,948
it's been a long time since I thought about settling down.
933
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,954
But, Mom, I don't-- I don't want you to settle.
934
00:47:42,125 --> 00:47:45,162
Wait a second, this isn't a bit.
935
00:47:45,295 --> 00:47:46,930
Sweetheart, you really don't like Glenn?
936
00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:49,399
No, I... I do.
937
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,337
Uhm, just not...
938
00:47:54,771 --> 00:47:57,207
Not for me?
939
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:06,350
If you'd like, join me now for three ohms.
940
00:48:08,852 --> 00:48:10,988
Ohm...
941
00:48:12,756 --> 00:48:14,791
Summer...
942
00:48:14,925 --> 00:48:17,761
You are my person, okay?
943
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:20,898
And I trust you more than anyone in the world, so if...
944
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:26,837
If you want me and Glenn to slow our roll, then we will.
945
00:48:26,970 --> 00:48:30,107
[group, chanting] Ohm...
946
00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:32,976
I want you to slow your roll.
947
00:48:33,110 --> 00:48:36,079
[emotional chuckle] Wow...
948
00:48:36,813 --> 00:48:38,715
[group] Ohm...
949
00:48:40,384 --> 00:48:43,987
Thank you for being honest with how you feel, kiddo.
950
00:48:47,724 --> 00:48:50,594
[group] Ohm...
951
00:48:59,736 --> 00:49:03,206
[Grayson] Hey, hey! Not bad for a Tuesday.
952
00:49:05,442 --> 00:49:08,145
Enjoying your monopoly, Mr. Martin?
953
00:49:08,278 --> 00:49:10,447
Capitalism's no crime, Bishop.
954
00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:13,951
No, it's not. Though, fraud might be.
955
00:49:14,484 --> 00:49:16,853
-[stammers] Fraud? -Mm.
956
00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:23,460
You said that I had an official El Dorado reservation.
957
00:49:23,593 --> 00:49:27,464
Officially endorsed. Terms and conditions clearly apply.
958
00:49:27,597 --> 00:49:29,333
You think you're the first guest
959
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:31,702
to try and game the lounger system?
960
00:49:31,835 --> 00:49:33,737
Alas, no.
961
00:49:33,870 --> 00:49:35,973
If you do not cease and desist,
962
00:49:36,106 --> 00:49:38,742
we will have no choice but to escort you to...
963
00:49:39,242 --> 00:49:41,311
-The Holding Room. -[scary sting]
964
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,513
El Dorado has a dungeon?
965
00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:45,949
Let's just say it's a comfortable place
966
00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:48,452
to reconsider one's choices, hm?
967
00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:50,654
Nothing says "free market" like taking my money back.
968
00:49:50,787 --> 00:49:53,256
-Wait. -[clicks tongue] See ya, kid.
969
00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:57,361
-Your refund, sir. -Thank you.
970
00:49:57,494 --> 00:50:00,797
You got me this time, Bishop. Touché.
971
00:50:00,931 --> 00:50:03,533
Ooh, money in the box...
972
00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:07,304
money out the... box.
973
00:50:15,112 --> 00:50:16,613
[Sadie] Took you long enough!
974
00:50:16,747 --> 00:50:19,349
Did you get what we need from around the pool?
975
00:50:19,483 --> 00:50:21,318
[Summer] I'm haunted by how easy it was.
976
00:50:21,451 --> 00:50:24,588
That's your innocence dying. Try not to make it a thing.
977
00:50:24,721 --> 00:50:27,124
And what exactly are we gonna do with all--
978
00:50:27,257 --> 00:50:29,659
What did I just say about the thing-making,
979
00:50:29,793 --> 00:50:31,561
little thing-maker? Hm?
980
00:50:32,796 --> 00:50:34,564
It's gonna be a classic bait-and-switch
981
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:37,801
with a chaser of John Wick cosplay.
982
00:50:38,902 --> 00:50:40,337
What are you talking about?
983
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:42,139
Did you even watch the Ocean's Eleven movies?
984
00:50:42,272 --> 00:50:43,673
You're being a real Matt Damon.
985
00:50:43,807 --> 00:50:46,343
I just, um... I've been thinking, Sadie,
986
00:50:46,476 --> 00:50:49,312
maybe we don't have to do all of this.
987
00:50:49,446 --> 00:50:52,282
His proposal's gonna be really public,
988
00:50:52,416 --> 00:50:56,219
and I don't want to humiliate my mom, or even Glenn.
989
00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,356
All right. You know what, Summer?
990
00:50:59,489 --> 00:51:02,459
Guess what I had to do to score the gear for this operation.
991
00:51:02,592 --> 00:51:05,262
I had to give Gary a sunscreen rub-n-tug.
992
00:51:05,395 --> 00:51:06,830
-The security guard? -Shh!
993
00:51:06,963 --> 00:51:08,698
Eew, eew, eew.
994
00:51:08,832 --> 00:51:11,568
So, smile, babe.
995
00:51:11,701 --> 00:51:15,238
Because tonight's gonna be absolute scenes. [happy squeal]
996
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,675
[sighing] I cannot spend Thanksgiving
997
00:51:18,809 --> 00:51:21,645
with someone who uses "rub-n-tug" as a verb.
998
00:51:25,415 --> 00:51:27,517
Blink if you've ever done anything this dumb.
999
00:51:45,902 --> 00:51:47,804
Hey, you're acting weird.
1000
00:51:49,339 --> 00:51:51,875
I assume this is about Glenn proposing?
1001
00:51:52,008 --> 00:51:53,143
You know about that?
1002
00:51:53,276 --> 00:51:55,445
He got emotional during our couples' massage.
1003
00:51:55,579 --> 00:51:57,414
Said I'd always be the man of the house.
1004
00:51:57,547 --> 00:51:59,783
He picked sandalwood. It was nice.
1005
00:52:00,217 --> 00:52:03,153
Anyway, I've got to steam my cummerbund for the awards.
1006
00:52:03,286 --> 00:52:04,921
Resort casual does not mean resort sloppy.
1007
00:52:07,657 --> 00:52:10,360
-Wow! -Mom, you look amazing.
1008
00:52:10,494 --> 00:52:12,262
You-- You really do.
1009
00:52:12,395 --> 00:52:15,198
-Hubba hubba. -Thank you.
1010
00:52:16,032 --> 00:52:17,434
Oh, yeah.
1011
00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:22,939
Who's ready for karaoke? Mom?
1012
00:52:23,073 --> 00:52:26,576
Tonight's the night! I'm doing "Wrecking Ball"!
1013
00:52:26,710 --> 00:52:29,579
Full choreo! No apologies.
1014
00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:32,115
Feels prophetic.
1015
00:52:32,249 --> 00:52:34,251
[Glenn clears throat]
1016
00:52:36,753 --> 00:52:39,556
-[beeping, unlocking] -Okay...
1017
00:52:40,724 --> 00:52:42,292
Okay...
1018
00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:46,229
Okay, Glenn. Don't Glenn this up.
1019
00:52:46,997 --> 00:52:48,565
[exhales nervously]
1020
00:52:49,466 --> 00:52:51,434
[upbeat music playing]
1021
00:52:51,568 --> 00:52:54,371
Okay, guys, here we go. Get in there.
1022
00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:56,973
[crowd chatting and laughing]
1023
00:52:59,009 --> 00:53:01,378
[Glenn, exhaling] Okay...
1024
00:53:06,216 --> 00:53:07,817
Blow me, Celine.
1025
00:53:09,419 --> 00:53:10,854
Oh, you made it, eh?
1026
00:53:10,987 --> 00:53:12,856
Great to see the Viceys in person.
1027
00:53:12,989 --> 00:53:14,157
Yeah.
1028
00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:16,593
I'm glad someone's still winning awards around here.
1029
00:53:16,726 --> 00:53:19,262
My last two wins were virtual.
1030
00:53:19,396 --> 00:53:21,331
It's hard to shotgun a Molson over Zoom!
1031
00:53:21,464 --> 00:53:24,334
Celine dominated the Moose Jaw School District,
1032
00:53:24,467 --> 00:53:25,802
but you haven't really made it
1033
00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,804
until you've accepted a Vicey in a thong!
1034
00:53:27,938 --> 00:53:29,172
[whooping]
1035
00:53:29,306 --> 00:53:30,941
And tonight, our boy Glenn's
1036
00:53:31,074 --> 00:53:34,277
nominated for the Stanley Cup of education,
1037
00:53:34,411 --> 00:53:36,313
Vice Principal of the Year!
1038
00:53:36,446 --> 00:53:38,515
-[chuckles] -Yeah. No pressure here!
1039
00:53:38,648 --> 00:53:40,917
-Yeah. -[Milly laughing]
1040
00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:45,322
-Hey, tonight's your night. -I hope so.
1041
00:53:45,455 --> 00:53:47,657
-Yeah. -I hope so...
1042
00:53:48,191 --> 00:53:49,993
-All right, let's sit. -Okay...
1043
00:53:51,628 --> 00:53:55,232
And so, while the "pretty boy" principals
1044
00:53:55,365 --> 00:53:59,736
get all the podcast invites, and the TikToks that go viral,
1045
00:53:59,869 --> 00:54:02,639
it is the vice principals
1046
00:54:02,772 --> 00:54:06,776
who truly keep the educational system from total collapse!
1047
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:09,045
-[crowd agreeing, cheering] -Yeah!
1048
00:54:10,847 --> 00:54:12,482
[Celine whoops]
1049
00:54:12,616 --> 00:54:16,753
VPs do it better! [whooping]
1050
00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:23,693
[softly] Hey... Hey, Summer.
1051
00:54:23,827 --> 00:54:26,630
I was hoping we'd hang, but you kind of vanished.
1052
00:54:26,763 --> 00:54:30,567
I'm sorry. Stuff got kinda hectic.
1053
00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:33,703
It kinda feels like you're avoiding me.
1054
00:54:33,837 --> 00:54:34,938
[speech continues indistinctly]
1055
00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:38,008
It's just, I had to deal with some... Sadie.
1056
00:54:38,141 --> 00:54:41,478
Oof! I hope you packed antibiotics and the holy water.
1057
00:54:41,611 --> 00:54:45,548
-[nervous sigh] -Where is Sadie?
1058
00:54:46,916 --> 00:54:48,551
Great question.
1059
00:54:53,223 --> 00:54:58,461
You know... speaking about messy family business,
1060
00:54:58,595 --> 00:55:01,097
I, um... I took your advice.
1061
00:55:02,732 --> 00:55:05,902
I told my dad I don't wanna play Triple-A next year.
1062
00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:08,238
Whoa. Big swing.
1063
00:55:08,371 --> 00:55:09,906
-How did it go? -[exhaling slowly]
1064
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:15,545
Full rage-quit. Controller through the drywall, basically.
1065
00:55:15,679 --> 00:55:19,249
You know, he... he didn't even say sorry.
1066
00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:21,685
Well, I'm sorry.
1067
00:55:22,786 --> 00:55:26,756
-But, your dad'll come around. -Maybe.
1068
00:55:26,890 --> 00:55:29,893
Oh, we have nametags. I'm gonna keep mine hand-packed.
1069
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:33,963
You know, I bet Glenn would've handled it so much better.
1070
00:55:34,097 --> 00:55:35,632
There's your name.
1071
00:55:35,765 --> 00:55:38,968
He just wants his people to be happy, you know.
1072
00:55:39,102 --> 00:55:42,072
God, I'm so sick of hearing how great Glenn is!
1073
00:55:42,939 --> 00:55:44,574
Sorry.
1074
00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:48,978
Und now, the moment that we've all been waiting for...
1075
00:55:49,112 --> 00:55:50,180
Okay...
1076
00:55:50,313 --> 00:55:52,882
The biggest award of the evening...
1077
00:55:53,016 --> 00:55:54,050
[drumroll]
1078
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:57,887
The Vice Principal of the Year is...
1079
00:56:00,824 --> 00:56:02,058
The wonderful...
1080
00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:06,596
- Glenn Winters, everyone! Yeah! -[all cheering]
1081
00:56:08,631 --> 00:56:10,400
-I'm so happy for you. -Here we go.
1082
00:56:10,533 --> 00:56:12,502
Yes! [laughing]
1083
00:56:12,635 --> 00:56:14,704
-Here we go! -[cheering continues]
1084
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:26,249
[Glenn, whoops] Yeah! Thank you so much.
1085
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:28,818
Thank you, thank you. Thank you, Dieter.
1086
00:56:28,952 --> 00:56:30,754
-Thank you, yeah. -[applause dies down]
1087
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:35,291
I, uh... I love being a vice principal, you know.
1088
00:56:35,425 --> 00:56:36,760
We get to lead
1089
00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:40,530
without anyone expecting miracles. Or charisma.
1090
00:56:40,663 --> 00:56:42,232
[crowd laughing]
1091
00:56:42,365 --> 00:56:43,833
Unless you're Terry and Celine.
1092
00:56:43,967 --> 00:56:46,903
They don't have sunblock, but they have charisma.
1093
00:56:47,036 --> 00:56:50,073
I have no interest in wearing the crown. No way.
1094
00:56:50,206 --> 00:56:54,778
-Way too many emails, you know. -[crowd laughing]
1095
00:56:54,911 --> 00:56:59,349
I just want to do the work. I wanna help.
1096
00:56:59,849 --> 00:57:04,320
Hey, speaking of help, I wanna shoutout my helper,
1097
00:57:04,454 --> 00:57:07,056
right over there, my date tonight, Milly Martin.
1098
00:57:07,190 --> 00:57:11,027
Hi. Milly's here with her two incredible kids.
1099
00:57:11,161 --> 00:57:15,298
Where is Grayson? There's my guy. He's already cooked.
1100
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,967
Take him out the oven, he knows exactly who he is.
1101
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:20,437
He doesn't have to announce it to anyone.
1102
00:57:20,904 --> 00:57:22,739
To be honest, Grayson,
1103
00:57:22,872 --> 00:57:25,341
I trust you more than I trust most grown men!
1104
00:57:25,475 --> 00:57:27,177
[crowd laughing]
1105
00:57:27,310 --> 00:57:29,145
If they actually paid vice principals,
1106
00:57:29,279 --> 00:57:31,114
I'd invest all my money with you, buddy!
1107
00:57:31,247 --> 00:57:33,383
[all laughing]
1108
00:57:33,917 --> 00:57:35,852
And also, I've gotta give a shoutout to Summer.
1109
00:57:35,985 --> 00:57:38,087
Milly's daughter, Summer.
1110
00:57:38,221 --> 00:57:42,392
Yeah. Summer plans everything, carries everyone,
1111
00:57:42,525 --> 00:57:45,361
asks for nothing in return.
1112
00:57:45,495 --> 00:57:49,532
Thank you, Summer. I mean that. You make everything better.
1113
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,368
[softly] Still set on hating Captain Kindness?
1114
00:57:52,502 --> 00:57:56,573
I feel so lucky to have those two kids and Milly in my life.
1115
00:57:56,706 --> 00:58:00,176
Milly makes everything an adventure.
1116
00:58:00,310 --> 00:58:03,813
Milly, uh, you make everything brighter.
1117
00:58:04,380 --> 00:58:06,182
Louder.
1118
00:58:06,316 --> 00:58:07,750
Better. [chuckles]
1119
00:58:08,184 --> 00:58:10,453
-Thank you. -[mouths] Thank you.
1120
00:58:10,587 --> 00:58:13,656
Uh, all that said... [clears throat]
1121
00:58:13,790 --> 00:58:17,494
I want to ask Milly Martin to come to the stage for, uh...
1122
00:58:17,927 --> 00:58:19,762
Well, a little duet.
1123
00:58:20,230 --> 00:58:21,164
Milly Martin
1124
00:58:21,297 --> 00:58:23,199
to the Vice Principal's office, please.
1125
00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:25,134
-[all applauding] -Get on up here.
1126
00:58:25,268 --> 00:58:27,070
[crowd cheering]
1127
00:58:30,940 --> 00:58:32,842
-[Glenn] There you go. -[microphone squealing]
1128
00:58:38,715 --> 00:58:43,953
Hi, everyone. I didn't really plan on doing this mid-win!
1129
00:58:44,087 --> 00:58:47,156
But, you know, I am always karaoke-ready,
1130
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:50,426
so, DJ, will you hit us with some "Paper Planes", please?
1131
00:58:51,227 --> 00:58:55,865
Actually, Milly, I wanted to sing a duet with you...
1132
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,134
-for the rest of our lives. -[crowd] Aw...
1133
00:58:58,268 --> 00:59:00,303
-["Paper Planes" by M.I.A.] - Oh my God!
1134
00:59:01,170 --> 00:59:02,272
[crowd] Aw...
1135
00:59:02,405 --> 00:59:04,307
[slight chuckle] Um...
1136
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,943
Um, Glenn!
1137
00:59:07,677 --> 00:59:10,847
Now, listen, I'm gonna be a little off-key, everybody.
1138
00:59:10,980 --> 00:59:14,017
Are you sure you wanna do it like this?
1139
00:59:14,150 --> 00:59:17,086
You know, in front of all these teachers?
1140
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:21,524
"Teachers"? You just demoted Beyoncé to backup dancer.
1141
00:59:21,658 --> 00:59:23,426
I'm sorry, that was not my intention.
1142
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,162
Glenn, baby, please? Please...
1143
00:59:26,296 --> 00:59:28,498
Can we just go somewhere and talk about this?
1144
00:59:28,631 --> 00:59:30,667
This is really not a good time.
1145
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,802
Whoa, what is this?
1146
00:59:32,936 --> 00:59:34,504
-[crowd gasps] -No, no, no.
1147
00:59:34,637 --> 00:59:37,040
American guns! Get down!
1148
00:59:37,173 --> 00:59:38,107
Wait!
1149
00:59:39,509 --> 00:59:40,710
Those aren't guns, bud.
1150
00:59:40,843 --> 00:59:42,946
Everybody, calm down. It's Glenn.
1151
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:44,347
Crosby's right. Everybody chill!
1152
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:47,317
-I don't know what these are. -What are you doing?
1153
00:59:47,884 --> 00:59:50,119
They're stuck to me, everybody.
1154
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:52,789
Are we trying to rob the joint with water guns?
1155
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:54,157
[Glenn] These aren't mine!
1156
00:59:54,290 --> 00:59:56,426
-Is that glue? -[gun shooting on track]
1157
00:59:56,559 --> 00:59:57,794
[crowd screaming]
1158
00:59:57,927 --> 00:59:59,963
Oh, shooting! Oh my God!
1159
01:00:02,031 --> 01:00:03,866
That I do recognize from Texas.
1160
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,236
Glenn killed a dolphin, and now he's gonna kill us!
1161
01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:08,538
I-- I didn't do that!
1162
01:00:08,671 --> 01:00:11,374
We're going down harder than the Jays in game seven!
1163
01:00:11,507 --> 01:00:14,143
-I'm coming, son! -It's just the song!
1164
01:00:14,277 --> 01:00:15,378
[glass breaks]
1165
01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:16,813
Get behind me!
1166
01:00:16,946 --> 01:00:19,482
This is why we don't vacation south of Buffalo!
1167
01:00:20,083 --> 01:00:22,285
-[glass smashing] -Damn, Celine!
1168
01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:25,288
-This is playoff energy! -[Summer] Wait...
1169
01:00:25,421 --> 01:00:27,256
-[Celine] Elbows up! -[Crosby grunts]
1170
01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:30,226
-[Summer] Oh my God! I'm sorry. -[Crosby spits]
1171
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,662
Damn, Summer, just say you're not interested.
1172
01:00:34,097 --> 01:00:36,065
They're not real! I don't know what they are,
1173
01:00:36,199 --> 01:00:37,800
they're just stuck to me right now.
1174
01:00:37,934 --> 01:00:39,736
Glenn, get down!
1175
01:00:39,869 --> 01:00:40,970
-[screams] -[loud thud]
1176
01:00:41,104 --> 01:00:42,905
[crowd screaming hysterically]
1177
01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:47,844
This is the worst karaoke ever!
1178
01:00:50,046 --> 01:00:52,682
Glenn? Glenn? Stop, you're hurting him!
1179
01:00:52,815 --> 01:00:54,083
Are you okay?
1180
01:00:54,217 --> 01:00:55,551
-[cable ties zipping] -I don't--
1181
01:00:55,685 --> 01:01:00,823
I have tolerated the chaos of this family at my poolside,
1182
01:01:00,957 --> 01:01:02,425
but this?
1183
01:01:02,558 --> 01:01:06,696
Disrupting the integrity of the Viceys is a step too far.
1184
01:01:06,829 --> 01:01:07,964
[Glenn strains]
1185
01:01:08,097 --> 01:01:10,466
[Milly] This is a misunderstanding. It--
1186
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:15,038
Allow me to escort you to The Holding Room.
1187
01:01:15,171 --> 01:01:16,739
Call the embassy! Call the embassy!
1188
01:01:16,873 --> 01:01:19,142
[panicked] Glenn! Glenn!
1189
01:01:21,878 --> 01:01:24,981
Whoo! Can I get another beer?
1190
01:01:25,114 --> 01:01:26,983
[door beeps, opens]
1191
01:01:32,955 --> 01:01:35,558
El Dorado is a sanctuary.
1192
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:38,961
People come here to forget the horrors of daily life,
1193
01:01:39,095 --> 01:01:41,197
not to endure firearm pageantry.
1194
01:01:41,330 --> 01:01:42,865
Come on, man! They're water guns.
1195
01:01:42,999 --> 01:01:44,901
Or attempted bottlenose homicide!
1196
01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:46,803
That dolphin was fine.
1197
01:01:46,936 --> 01:01:48,705
And to be honest, she was wanted it.
1198
01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:50,506
I actually felt uncomfortable.
1199
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,743
Not another word, Mr. Winters!
1200
01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:58,848
You will contemplate your choices in here!
1201
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:03,052
[door beeps, unlocks]
1202
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:05,788
[water bubbling]
1203
01:02:06,489 --> 01:02:07,356
[Glenn scoffs]
1204
01:02:08,858 --> 01:02:11,928
Your jail cell has cucumber water?
1205
01:02:12,361 --> 01:02:16,332
We are a luxury resort, not Shawshank.
1206
01:02:17,867 --> 01:02:19,936
-[gentle music plays] -Look, I'm...
1207
01:02:20,069 --> 01:02:22,205
I'm so sorry about what happened tonight.
1208
01:02:22,338 --> 01:02:25,775
I was just trying to propose to the woman I love.
1209
01:02:25,908 --> 01:02:28,377
Oh, Mr. Winters,
1210
01:02:28,845 --> 01:02:32,014
love always finds a way. And trust me...
1211
01:02:32,148 --> 01:02:35,885
El Dorado is no stranger to water gun shenanigans.
1212
01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:37,987
[electronic beep]
1213
01:02:38,121 --> 01:02:40,389
Please, take a seat.
1214
01:02:44,660 --> 01:02:46,963
Allow me to unstick you.
1215
01:02:47,563 --> 01:02:48,898
[door beeps]
1216
01:02:51,701 --> 01:02:53,970
Oh, excuse me! Is Glenn okay?
1217
01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:58,207
Mrs. Martin, I thought it best that Mr. Winters
1218
01:02:58,341 --> 01:03:02,745
have some reflection time after tonight's fiasco.
1219
01:03:02,879 --> 01:03:04,947
What even was that?
1220
01:03:08,417 --> 01:03:11,053
Oh, that face means I'm not gonna like the answer.
1221
01:03:12,255 --> 01:03:14,991
Here. It's the last of my lounger loot.
1222
01:03:16,259 --> 01:03:18,928
Thanks for taking good care of him.
1223
01:03:19,061 --> 01:03:20,563
Of course.
1224
01:03:24,934 --> 01:03:27,003
Summer...
1225
01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:29,939
[exhales shakily] So, um...
1226
01:03:30,606 --> 01:03:34,911
Things were just moving crazy fast, and uh...
1227
01:03:35,778 --> 01:03:39,182
Sadie and I might've pulled a really tiny,
1228
01:03:39,916 --> 01:03:41,818
deeply stupid prank.
1229
01:03:41,951 --> 01:03:45,588
Sadie? Of course this was the future felon in flipflops.
1230
01:03:45,721 --> 01:03:47,089
-No, Mom. -Honey...
1231
01:03:47,690 --> 01:03:49,625
It was actually mostly my idea.
1232
01:03:50,927 --> 01:03:52,962
What do you mean?
1233
01:03:53,629 --> 01:03:57,366
You're-- You are supposed to be the responsible one.
1234
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,901
No, you are, Mom!
1235
01:04:02,972 --> 01:04:05,441
-I'm sorry, I-- -Hey, hey, hey, stop.
1236
01:04:05,575 --> 01:04:11,514
It is you, and you, and me. You're my people.
1237
01:04:13,216 --> 01:04:15,084
Honey, I thought...
1238
01:04:15,218 --> 01:04:17,386
I thought that this was different.
1239
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,422
I thought that this was responsible.
1240
01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:23,259
I thought we could add one more person to our equation
1241
01:04:23,392 --> 01:04:24,560
without burning down the house.
1242
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:27,396
-That's not what I meant. -Honey...
1243
01:04:29,665 --> 01:04:31,100
Enough, okay?
1244
01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:37,440
I need the two of you to wait here for me...
1245
01:04:40,009 --> 01:04:41,177
[door beeps]
1246
01:04:47,149 --> 01:04:51,454
Wow! Hard times really changed you, Glenn.
1247
01:04:51,587 --> 01:04:54,390
What's next, a Mike Tyson face tattoo?
1248
01:04:54,523 --> 01:04:56,692
Can you tell me what the hell happened tonight?
1249
01:04:56,826 --> 01:04:59,295
And where is my mother's ring?
1250
01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:04,667
Your daughter humiliated you on stage and then bolted with it.
1251
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:06,035
Oh? Well...
1252
01:05:06,168 --> 01:05:08,271
Sadie must've had her reasons.
1253
01:05:08,404 --> 01:05:11,340
She probably pawned the diamond and is halfway to Jamaica now.
1254
01:05:11,474 --> 01:05:16,012
Hey, hey, hey... That's my kid you're talking about, okay?
1255
01:05:17,079 --> 01:05:21,150
And also... my kid was involved too.
1256
01:05:21,284 --> 01:05:24,787
-What? Summer was involved? -Yes!
1257
01:05:24,921 --> 01:05:29,125
-She hates me that much? -No! She loves me that much.
1258
01:05:29,258 --> 01:05:32,728
And, Glenn, the point is...
1259
01:05:34,830 --> 01:05:36,299
Uh...
1260
01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:39,635
The thing is...
1261
01:05:41,470 --> 01:05:43,205
Glenn, we have to break up.
1262
01:05:48,844 --> 01:05:50,579
Okay, uh...
1263
01:05:50,713 --> 01:05:54,250
Milly, Milly... Milly. [chuckles nervously]
1264
01:05:54,383 --> 01:05:58,587
Our kids did something really, really dumb tonight.
1265
01:05:58,721 --> 01:06:01,324
That doesn't mean that we have to do something dumb.
1266
01:06:01,457 --> 01:06:03,059
This is just happening too fast.
1267
01:06:03,192 --> 01:06:04,860
Yeah, because it's fresh.
1268
01:06:04,994 --> 01:06:08,497
It's new, it's exciting. It's rare. You know this.
1269
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:10,733
I-- You...
1270
01:06:12,168 --> 01:06:14,003
You weaponized a DJ!
1271
01:06:15,037 --> 01:06:17,573
My love for you is explosive.
1272
01:06:17,707 --> 01:06:20,443
-So was Chernobyl. -I wanna tell everyone that!
1273
01:06:20,576 --> 01:06:23,312
But... And you told everyone
1274
01:06:23,446 --> 01:06:25,848
up on a stage when we were all dressed up
1275
01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:29,719
and in front of all of our loved ones, with karaoke?
1276
01:06:29,852 --> 01:06:32,121
If you think that's my literal dream come true
1277
01:06:32,254 --> 01:06:34,023
then you don't know me at all.
1278
01:06:34,156 --> 01:06:35,524
Okay, Milly.
1279
01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:39,562
You know what? Maybe... Maybe we just are too different.
1280
01:06:39,695 --> 01:06:42,231
But at least I'm out there, I'm giving it a go.
1281
01:06:42,365 --> 01:06:45,201
At least I'm brave enough to try.
1282
01:06:49,038 --> 01:06:50,573
[whispers] I tried.
1283
01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,582
I'm done, Glenn.
1284
01:07:02,318 --> 01:07:04,787
[sombre music plays]
1285
01:07:15,898 --> 01:07:18,267
[waves crashing]
1286
01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:23,806
[Milly sobbing]
1287
01:07:30,079 --> 01:07:31,647
[door opens]
1288
01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:37,520
She's still crying.
1289
01:07:44,093 --> 01:07:45,928
[sighs]
1290
01:07:46,762 --> 01:07:50,499
Glenn did last longer than her pottery phase.
1291
01:07:53,502 --> 01:07:54,804
Mom will bounce back.
1292
01:07:58,841 --> 01:08:00,576
Sadie...
1293
01:08:00,709 --> 01:08:03,379
[stammers] She took this way too far.
1294
01:08:03,512 --> 01:08:06,882
Stop trying to blame everyone but yourself, Summer.
1295
01:08:07,016 --> 01:08:11,720
You did this. Not just to Mom, but everyone.
1296
01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:14,790
Oh, my God...
1297
01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:17,860
Mom's not the only one that likes Glenn.
1298
01:08:19,929 --> 01:08:21,030
You like him, too.
1299
01:08:21,163 --> 01:08:22,531
Yeah, of course, I do.
1300
01:08:22,665 --> 01:08:26,402
I still have PTSD from Mom's previous loser boyfriends.
1301
01:08:26,535 --> 01:08:30,706
[sighs] Remember that... racist puppeteer guy?
1302
01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:34,677
The one with the ferret named after his ex?
1303
01:08:35,744 --> 01:08:36,912
[both] Doug.
1304
01:08:38,347 --> 01:08:39,882
[Milly continues sobbing]
1305
01:08:41,150 --> 01:08:42,852
Glenn's a chill guy.
1306
01:08:42,985 --> 01:08:46,388
He's nice, and he just wants to be a part of this,
1307
01:08:47,990 --> 01:08:51,193
even after you did... that.
1308
01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:55,598
I'm gonna miss that dweeb.
1309
01:09:08,911 --> 01:09:11,313
[island music playing]
1310
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,889
[guests chatting and laughing]
1311
01:09:25,861 --> 01:09:28,264
-[glass clinks] -[exhales deeply]
1312
01:09:34,737 --> 01:09:36,972
Four mimosas before 10 a.m.?
1313
01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:39,441
I'm deeply impressed and slightly aroused.
1314
01:09:39,575 --> 01:09:41,677
[Milly groans] Read the room!
1315
01:09:41,810 --> 01:09:44,647
It's sadder than the first five minutes of "Up" out here.
1316
01:09:44,780 --> 01:09:48,617
Sounds like you need Captain Otto's patented hangover cure.
1317
01:09:50,819 --> 01:09:52,288
More booze.
1318
01:09:55,157 --> 01:09:57,159
Well, I'm kinda spiraling.
1319
01:09:57,793 --> 01:10:00,596
You know, last night I torched my relationship
1320
01:10:00,729 --> 01:10:02,665
with the sweetest man I've ever known.
1321
01:10:02,798 --> 01:10:05,801
Glenn is romantic and dependable.
1322
01:10:05,935 --> 01:10:08,637
Maybe Glenn can marry his perfect credit score.
1323
01:10:08,771 --> 01:10:11,373
And I set fire to every good thing I'm close to,
1324
01:10:11,507 --> 01:10:13,275
and I don't know why I'm like this!
1325
01:10:13,409 --> 01:10:15,010
Because you're like me.
1326
01:10:15,144 --> 01:10:17,246
Allergic to boring.
1327
01:10:17,846 --> 01:10:19,748
-I mean, vice principal? -Well...
1328
01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:23,018
The Vice Principal of the Year!
1329
01:10:23,152 --> 01:10:25,254
Yeah, but has he ever done Bible school coke
1330
01:10:25,387 --> 01:10:27,656
off a nun's tramp stamp?
1331
01:10:28,691 --> 01:10:30,693
That is concerningly specific.
1332
01:10:31,794 --> 01:10:34,230
Don't kink-shame my Catholic childhood.
1333
01:10:34,363 --> 01:10:35,297
[Milly scoffs]
1334
01:10:35,431 --> 01:10:37,533
Don't you want to go work?
1335
01:10:37,666 --> 01:10:40,069
Take people parasailing, or whatever.
1336
01:10:40,202 --> 01:10:42,238
My schedule's pretty flexible.
1337
01:10:42,371 --> 01:10:45,107
No obligations, no ties, no kids.
1338
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:47,576
Not within subpoena range.
1339
01:10:47,710 --> 01:10:50,312
[scoffs] Oh my God.
1340
01:10:50,446 --> 01:10:52,615
Twenty-something me would've eaten you up.
1341
01:10:53,782 --> 01:10:56,552
I recognise my people, Milly.
1342
01:10:56,685 --> 01:10:59,989
You are a free spirit, you need space to run,
1343
01:11:00,122 --> 01:11:02,658
not someone who's trying to domesticate you.
1344
01:11:03,425 --> 01:11:05,861
You just forgot who you really are.
1345
01:11:05,995 --> 01:11:10,099
[scoffs] Oh? A trainwreck with commitment issues?
1346
01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:13,736
[in Spanish] A mamacita so spicy...
1347
01:11:13,869 --> 01:11:16,939
[in English] they had to retire your thong to the rafters.
1348
01:11:19,975 --> 01:11:22,344
They did. Thank you.
1349
01:11:24,079 --> 01:11:26,015
You know, I got a little side-hustle going on.
1350
01:11:26,148 --> 01:11:29,084
Might help you reconnect with your wild side?
1351
01:11:29,852 --> 01:11:33,989
Slightly illegal, totally invigorating.
1352
01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:37,459
Why don't you, uh... come by my yacht?
1353
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:45,868
I'm hot, and drunk. And we're in the Bahamas.
1354
01:11:46,001 --> 01:11:48,537
The bad choice is practically mandatory.
1355
01:11:48,671 --> 01:11:50,372
-There she is. -[glasses clink]
1356
01:11:50,506 --> 01:11:52,074
Welcome back, killer.
1357
01:11:58,213 --> 01:11:59,682
[slight cough]
1358
01:12:00,916 --> 01:12:02,718
[birds calling]
1359
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:09,425
[Summer] Crosby? Crosby!
1360
01:12:09,558 --> 01:12:11,093
I've been looking for you.
1361
01:12:14,897 --> 01:12:16,498
Hey, how are you feeling?
1362
01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:19,702
Great.
1363
01:12:21,036 --> 01:12:25,874
Um... I like your tube. I really like the orange.
1364
01:12:29,278 --> 01:12:31,447
[mouthing]
1365
01:12:34,683 --> 01:12:37,052
Crosby, hey...
1366
01:12:37,186 --> 01:12:38,320
Yesterday was a mess.
1367
01:12:38,454 --> 01:12:39,922
Turns out my version of selfless
1368
01:12:40,055 --> 01:12:43,359
is just selfish with better branding.
1369
01:12:43,492 --> 01:12:44,927
I was micromanaging family
1370
01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:47,663
and I wasn't listening to you at all.
1371
01:12:58,407 --> 01:13:00,776
Anyways, I'm listening now.
1372
01:13:00,909 --> 01:13:03,779
And in the spirit of full disclosure,
1373
01:13:03,912 --> 01:13:05,714
Glenn wasn't the dolphin assassin.
1374
01:13:06,382 --> 01:13:07,683
It was me.
1375
01:13:08,283 --> 01:13:10,052
My gas.
1376
01:13:10,486 --> 01:13:12,121
My anxiety farts.
1377
01:13:13,322 --> 01:13:15,624
Maintain proper tube distance!
1378
01:13:15,758 --> 01:13:18,594
This river is lazy, not lawless.
1379
01:13:18,727 --> 01:13:20,129
Sorry, Vice Principal Dieter.
1380
01:13:22,798 --> 01:13:26,034
Summer, I spent years in hockey locker rooms.
1381
01:13:26,168 --> 01:13:28,303
My nose is just decorative at this point.
1382
01:13:28,437 --> 01:13:31,673
But it was pretty obvious who crop-dusted Kimberly.
1383
01:13:32,107 --> 01:13:35,444
-Oh my God. You knew? -Had a hunch.
1384
01:13:35,577 --> 01:13:37,613
Didn't care.
1385
01:13:39,314 --> 01:13:44,453
Okay, good. Because my stomach is killing me right now.
1386
01:13:45,154 --> 01:13:49,458
And not because of gluten, because I like you.
1387
01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:52,094
-[slight scoff] -A lot.
1388
01:14:07,075 --> 01:14:09,645
Guess you'll be happy to know that your water gun stunt
1389
01:14:09,778 --> 01:14:11,146
saved my ass.
1390
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,482
Dad saw our lives flash before his eyes
1391
01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:17,085
and agreed it's too short for me to waste chasing pucks.
1392
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,088
Wait, so you're free?
1393
01:14:20,522 --> 01:14:21,657
Now it's just lacrosse,
1394
01:14:21,790 --> 01:14:23,926
curling and competitive moose wrestling.
1395
01:14:24,059 --> 01:14:25,661
Seriously?
1396
01:14:25,794 --> 01:14:29,198
[chuckles] No, but your panic face is incredible.
1397
01:14:33,769 --> 01:14:35,137
[Travis] Look, you two.
1398
01:14:35,270 --> 01:14:38,507
You keep those hands north of the Mason-Dixon line.
1399
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:40,642
This ain't prom night in Amarillo.
1400
01:14:40,776 --> 01:14:43,345
[chuckles] That was a hell of a night, though...
1401
01:14:43,979 --> 01:14:46,548
Though, wait till he hears I wanna apply to universities
1402
01:14:46,682 --> 01:14:49,651
in the States. Not Sadie's.
1403
01:14:50,519 --> 01:14:55,257
You know, Idaho's got some aggressively average colleges.
1404
01:14:55,390 --> 01:14:58,160
Maybe I could give you the official tour.
1405
01:14:59,928 --> 01:15:02,030
-I'd be down. -[Dieter] Miss Martin, please!
1406
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:05,801
Our winner is losing it on top of the Tower of Courage!
1407
01:15:05,934 --> 01:15:08,437
This is not how excellence behaves!
1408
01:15:08,570 --> 01:15:10,739
Arguing with a teen lifeguard.
1409
01:15:10,873 --> 01:15:13,775
We respect the whistle, no matter who wields it.
1410
01:15:13,909 --> 01:15:15,777
You know, it probably doesn't help
1411
01:15:15,911 --> 01:15:18,580
that your mom just sailed off with Captain Otto.
1412
01:15:18,714 --> 01:15:20,048
Locals call him the octopus,
1413
01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:22,551
and it's not because of his squishy heart.
1414
01:15:22,684 --> 01:15:24,086
I have to fix this.
1415
01:15:26,555 --> 01:15:28,891
I'm off to save my mom!
1416
01:15:36,999 --> 01:15:39,835
[Girl] Can you move this dad-in-meltdown along?
1417
01:15:39,968 --> 01:15:43,038
[Boy] Let's go, Boomer. We get it, life didn't pan out.
1418
01:15:48,310 --> 01:15:50,112
[whimpering]
1419
01:15:52,648 --> 01:15:55,984
Sir, you can't just cap at the top of the waterslide!
1420
01:15:56,118 --> 01:15:57,986
Hey man! I'm a paying customer!
1421
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:01,156
My feelings are also all-inclusive!
1422
01:16:01,290 --> 01:16:05,527
Any day now, buddy. My kids are aging out of daycare here!
1423
01:16:05,661 --> 01:16:08,864
Excuse me, sir. Do you mind?
1424
01:16:08,997 --> 01:16:12,034
Do I mind? I have a PhD in extramolecular physics.
1425
01:16:12,167 --> 01:16:14,903
Every moment here is the worst day of my life.
1426
01:16:15,037 --> 01:16:18,273
I don't mind. Here you go, you talk to him.
1427
01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:20,542
Goddamnit, this family...
1428
01:16:20,676 --> 01:16:22,945
-[megaphone squeals] -Glenn, what are you doing?
1429
01:16:23,078 --> 01:16:26,014
[Glenn] I'm taking control of my destiny!
1430
01:16:26,148 --> 01:16:27,883
You're wearing Grayson's water wings!
1431
01:16:28,016 --> 01:16:30,352
You look like a midlife-crisis mermaid!
1432
01:16:30,485 --> 01:16:34,122
Yeah, well, it's symbolic... because I'm drowning!
1433
01:16:34,256 --> 01:16:38,093
You can't stand me, and now I've lost your mom!
1434
01:16:38,760 --> 01:16:41,897
Isn't this what you wanted, Summer?
1435
01:16:42,030 --> 01:16:46,101
Yeah! I... I thought I hated you.
1436
01:16:46,234 --> 01:16:49,638
But, I just resented how you highlighted my...
1437
01:16:50,539 --> 01:16:51,907
personality drought.
1438
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:55,210
And if Mom could have someone fun who also adults,
1439
01:16:55,344 --> 01:16:57,212
she'd finally notice that I'm neither!
1440
01:16:59,948 --> 01:17:01,950
Come on, Summer!
1441
01:17:02,084 --> 01:17:05,053
You're the reason your mom has made it this far!
1442
01:17:05,187 --> 01:17:07,322
Now she's steering straight into a Category 5
1443
01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:08,724
Dipshit named Otto!
1444
01:17:09,858 --> 01:17:12,260
Milly's messy and impulsive.
1445
01:17:12,394 --> 01:17:15,063
Basically Sadie, if she knew what a landline was.
1446
01:17:15,197 --> 01:17:17,366
Thank you, I hate that insight.
1447
01:17:17,499 --> 01:17:20,435
She needs you, Glenn! We all do!
1448
01:17:21,236 --> 01:17:23,105
Even me.
1449
01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:26,041
You mean that?
1450
01:17:26,174 --> 01:17:29,444
Yes! Now, quit pity-partying and nut up!
1451
01:17:30,112 --> 01:17:31,446
-Yeah! -Lose the floaties
1452
01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:32,648
and let's find Mom!
1453
01:17:32,781 --> 01:17:35,083
[screaming]
1454
01:17:35,784 --> 01:17:40,322
Captain Otto is about to get Glenn'd... hard and fast!
1455
01:17:40,455 --> 01:17:45,127
Phrasing! But, yeah. Get your ass down here, and let's go!
1456
01:17:45,260 --> 01:17:48,230
Yes, chef! Coming right down!
1457
01:17:48,363 --> 01:17:49,998
[Dad] Move along!
1458
01:17:51,233 --> 01:17:53,235
Help me out. Help me out. Help me...
1459
01:17:53,368 --> 01:17:54,936
-Come on! -[Glenn] Let me down.
1460
01:17:55,070 --> 01:17:57,272
-Just hold on, just hang on. -You can do it...
1461
01:17:57,406 --> 01:17:59,307
-I'm gonna go down. -You can do it...
1462
01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:01,810
-Don't let go. Don't let go! -You can do it!
1463
01:18:01,943 --> 01:18:03,812
-You can do it! -I can do this!
1464
01:18:03,945 --> 01:18:06,481
-You can do it! -I can do this! [screaming]
1465
01:18:12,587 --> 01:18:16,425
[laughs victoriously] I did it!
1466
01:18:16,558 --> 01:18:19,361
The water went in my butt!
1467
01:18:19,494 --> 01:18:21,463
There's so much water in my butt.
1468
01:18:21,596 --> 01:18:23,965
[Glenn and Summer panting]
1469
01:18:24,099 --> 01:18:25,734
Hustle! Mom's about to shipwreck her life
1470
01:18:25,867 --> 01:18:27,169
on Otto's bachelor barge!
1471
01:18:27,302 --> 01:18:30,305
I'm trying, but sand is like nature's Stairmaster.
1472
01:18:30,439 --> 01:18:32,474
Mrs. McDavid, we're taking these jet skis
1473
01:18:32,607 --> 01:18:35,343
in the name of love, liberty, and loosely planned heroics.
1474
01:18:35,477 --> 01:18:37,145
[Celine]Say no more! Terry, scoot!
1475
01:18:37,279 --> 01:18:40,282
-[Terry] Copy that! -[Summer] Mount up, Glenn.
1476
01:18:40,415 --> 01:18:44,319
Summer, I can't drive it. I've had two Coors Lights.
1477
01:18:44,453 --> 01:18:46,088
That's practically water in Canada.
1478
01:18:46,221 --> 01:18:48,457
-[both] Not now, Terry! -Sorry.
1479
01:18:48,590 --> 01:18:50,258
You have to drive.
1480
01:18:50,759 --> 01:18:52,127
I haven't been behind the wheel
1481
01:18:52,260 --> 01:18:54,096
since I traumatized the marching band.
1482
01:18:54,229 --> 01:18:56,665
Summer, just relax. You don't have to be perfect, okay?
1483
01:18:56,798 --> 01:18:59,034
Just let go.
1484
01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:04,539
Okay, fine. But if I hear one note of the Cranberries,
1485
01:19:04,673 --> 01:19:05,774
you're swimming.
1486
01:19:05,907 --> 01:19:08,310
Noted. Silent, but internally grooving.
1487
01:19:14,282 --> 01:19:20,622
♪ You're my Bahama mama, baby ♪
1488
01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:27,095
♪ I wanna scuba in your lagoon ♪
1489
01:19:28,463 --> 01:19:32,067
You know, that's an original track.
1490
01:19:32,701 --> 01:19:36,204
I call it "Tidal Wave Between Her Thighs".
1491
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:39,708
Sticky, yeah.
1492
01:19:39,841 --> 01:19:41,243
[Milly clears throat]
1493
01:19:41,376 --> 01:19:45,647
Hey, Otto, you own all this?
1494
01:19:45,781 --> 01:19:50,519
Till the bank catches up, but the joke's on them.
1495
01:19:50,652 --> 01:19:53,855
-International waters, baby. -[both chuckle]
1496
01:19:54,289 --> 01:19:58,193
So... this is your denture glue?
1497
01:19:58,627 --> 01:20:01,463
Okay, technically it's my friend Norma's,
1498
01:20:01,596 --> 01:20:06,034
a 72-year-old retired orthodontist, divorced.
1499
01:20:06,168 --> 01:20:11,473
Boat-rich but... starved for human touch.
1500
01:20:11,606 --> 01:20:13,441
Oh yeah, that tracks.
1501
01:20:15,310 --> 01:20:19,548
Have you ever met someone that's so...
1502
01:20:19,681 --> 01:20:25,487
oddly stable that it makes you question your entire existence?
1503
01:20:27,422 --> 01:20:32,027
[scoffs] Nah. Stability's like condoms. It ruins the thrill.
1504
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:35,630
-[scoffs in disgust] -Speaking of fun...
1505
01:20:35,764 --> 01:20:39,100
How about I play you another track from my EP?
1506
01:20:39,234 --> 01:20:42,571
It's called "Anchors A-Wet".
1507
01:20:42,704 --> 01:20:48,143
[sighs] Do, uh... do you have a restroom here?
1508
01:20:48,877 --> 01:20:51,947
It's a boat, so it's called the head.
1509
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,482
And if it's yellow I let it mellow.
1510
01:20:54,616 --> 01:20:56,051
Actually, you know what?
1511
01:20:56,918 --> 01:20:58,920
Don't flush either way.
1512
01:21:02,824 --> 01:21:05,760
[Milly, softly] Oh my God. I have to get out of here.
1513
01:21:05,894 --> 01:21:09,564
-[Cranberries playing] -♪ Then I open up and see ♪
1514
01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:14,069
Doing great, Summer. That's it. Just stay in your lane!
1515
01:21:14,202 --> 01:21:15,904
The ocean has no lanes, Glenn!
1516
01:21:16,037 --> 01:21:18,073
Right, well, you know what I mean.
1517
01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:19,541
Just, nautically this way.
1518
01:21:19,674 --> 01:21:23,545
Ten and two, ten and two! You're doing great, here we go!
1519
01:21:23,678 --> 01:21:25,580
-[dull thud, dolphin moaning] -Oh my God.
1520
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,616
No, you don't think that was Kimberly?
1521
01:21:27,749 --> 01:21:30,919
I think that was Kimberly. No, no, no, no...
1522
01:21:31,052 --> 01:21:33,722
First fucking day of her retirement!
1523
01:21:33,855 --> 01:21:37,125
You've gotta be kidding me! This whole ocean?
1524
01:21:37,259 --> 01:21:40,128
Don't look back! We can't save everyone!
1525
01:21:40,262 --> 01:21:43,598
[Glenn] So sorry, Kimberly. Swim it off!
1526
01:21:46,935 --> 01:21:48,203
I will never unsee it.
1527
01:21:48,336 --> 01:21:49,604
-Ooh! -[mechanical whirring]
1528
01:21:52,374 --> 01:21:55,210
Okay, this is gonna be amazing.
1529
01:21:56,011 --> 01:21:59,114
What in the Hentai Hell?
1530
01:21:59,881 --> 01:22:01,917
Ooh!
1531
01:22:02,050 --> 01:22:05,186
Do you like my black market babies?
1532
01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:07,923
You're a dealer for seafood buffets?
1533
01:22:08,390 --> 01:22:10,592
Those are the hottest things on FishTok.
1534
01:22:10,725 --> 01:22:11,893
What?
1535
01:22:12,027 --> 01:22:16,698
Octopus racing's about to explode in Dubai. Trust me.
1536
01:22:17,299 --> 01:22:20,068
[laughing] What in the "Squid Game" am I doing here?
1537
01:22:20,201 --> 01:22:22,304
I have two children and a mortgage.
1538
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:27,242
So, how about it? You, me, an eight-legged Bonnie and Clyde.
1539
01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:30,946
Otto, my octopus smuggling days are over.
1540
01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:33,481
[Glenn] Milly? Milly!
1541
01:22:33,615 --> 01:22:35,016
-Glenn, they're in here. -What?
1542
01:22:35,150 --> 01:22:36,051
They're in here.
1543
01:22:36,184 --> 01:22:38,053
Hey! You get away from her,
1544
01:22:38,186 --> 01:22:41,589
you tentacle-smuggling son of a gun!
1545
01:22:41,723 --> 01:22:43,658
-That can't be legal. -Hey, whoa, man.
1546
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:46,328
We can just talk this out, vice principal-man.
1547
01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:49,331
No need to snitch, I got priors.
1548
01:22:49,464 --> 01:22:53,368
Glenn, you went all Liam Neeson for me?
1549
01:22:53,501 --> 01:22:56,404
Well, yeah. Of course, baby.
1550
01:22:56,538 --> 01:22:59,407
I have a particular set of dad skills.
1551
01:22:59,874 --> 01:23:01,409
[Milly chuckles]
1552
01:23:01,543 --> 01:23:04,913
Hey, nobody move, or the MILF gets punctured.
1553
01:23:05,413 --> 01:23:07,716
-Yeah. -Is that a spork?
1554
01:23:07,849 --> 01:23:11,286
Are you trying to threaten me, or eat pudding? Okay...
1555
01:23:12,754 --> 01:23:14,356
[Summer] Eww!
1556
01:23:14,489 --> 01:23:16,391
[Otto] Gimme your passport, Kangaroo Jack!
1557
01:23:16,524 --> 01:23:18,526
Milly and I are taking your jet ski!
1558
01:23:20,795 --> 01:23:24,232
Drop the utensil, Otto, or your buddy becomes sashimi.
1559
01:23:24,766 --> 01:23:25,900
Honey...
1560
01:23:26,034 --> 01:23:28,903
Yeah, we'll do it, man. I swear, we're gonna do it!
1561
01:23:29,037 --> 01:23:30,672
Not Enrique Iglesi-pus!
1562
01:23:30,805 --> 01:23:32,974
I will calamari the shit out of it!
1563
01:23:33,108 --> 01:23:34,342
We will do it, man!
1564
01:23:34,476 --> 01:23:36,144
Hey. Please, leave him alone.
1565
01:23:36,277 --> 01:23:38,179
He's recovering from a hamstring injury.
1566
01:23:38,313 --> 01:23:39,981
We'll end Enrique, swear to God!
1567
01:23:40,115 --> 01:23:42,584
[Glenn] Just be cool, or we'll chop this thing up!
1568
01:23:42,717 --> 01:23:46,021
Drop the spork, or Enrique's dead. Don't do it, man!
1569
01:23:46,154 --> 01:23:49,257
This is the weirdest fucking vacation I've ever been on!
1570
01:23:49,391 --> 01:23:50,925
-Okay. -[utensil clatters]
1571
01:23:51,059 --> 01:23:53,061
Okay, Captain Otto...
1572
01:23:53,194 --> 01:23:56,464
Prepare for detention.
1573
01:24:01,336 --> 01:24:03,571
Oh, honey...
1574
01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:05,473
-[hard thud] -[Glenn] Whoa!
1575
01:24:06,007 --> 01:24:08,977
-[Glenn] Oh! Whoa... -Ouch!
1576
01:24:09,110 --> 01:24:11,946
Whoa, come here. Come here. Hey.
1577
01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:13,415
-Hey, hey, hey... -Hi, honey.
1578
01:24:13,548 --> 01:24:15,316
I'm really glad you did that, but...
1579
01:24:16,051 --> 01:24:19,154
you should know I had the situation under control.
1580
01:24:20,188 --> 01:24:24,325
Sweetheart, your job is to look pretty and file our taxes.
1581
01:24:24,459 --> 01:24:26,828
You leave the pirates to mama.
1582
01:24:27,262 --> 01:24:32,167
-Are we a team? -I wanna be. Like, forever?
1583
01:24:36,638 --> 01:24:39,841
Yep, yep, lovely. Can we not French near Enrique?
1584
01:24:39,974 --> 01:24:41,109
Yeah.
1585
01:24:43,111 --> 01:24:44,746
Thank you for coming to get me.
1586
01:24:44,879 --> 01:24:46,614
Now please, get me off this boat.
1587
01:24:46,748 --> 01:24:48,817
This has been the weirdest day of my life!
1588
01:24:48,950 --> 01:24:51,286
-I was never gonna hurt you. -[Milly] Take me home.
1589
01:24:51,419 --> 01:24:53,955
-Okay, come on. Let's go. -Let's get out of here.
1590
01:24:54,089 --> 01:24:56,424
-Bye, Enrique. -Oh, my bag!
1591
01:24:56,558 --> 01:24:59,060
[Summer] Good luck with your recovery, Enrique.
1592
01:24:59,194 --> 01:25:00,862
[upbeat music playing]
1593
01:25:03,098 --> 01:25:05,867
[Glenn and Milly screaming]
1594
01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:09,838
-[Glenn whooping] -[Milly] Whoa!
1595
01:25:10,338 --> 01:25:12,107
-[Glenn] Yeah! -[Milly laughing] Honey!
1596
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,009
That's how you pass a driver's test!
1597
01:25:15,777 --> 01:25:18,813
-[Glenn whooping] -[Milly, laughing] Oh my God.
1598
01:25:18,947 --> 01:25:21,516
I am never leaving solid ground again.
1599
01:25:21,649 --> 01:25:23,651
That was the second-sexiest Sea-Doo rescue
1600
01:25:23,785 --> 01:25:25,153
of my entire life!
1601
01:25:25,286 --> 01:25:28,923
That was my first Sea-Doo rescue ever.
1602
01:25:30,391 --> 01:25:33,761
You guys are gross, but also delightful.
1603
01:25:36,264 --> 01:25:37,899
You guys should make it official.
1604
01:25:39,033 --> 01:25:40,802
What?
1605
01:25:41,769 --> 01:25:44,305
Listen, I would love for that to happen, I really would.
1606
01:25:44,439 --> 01:25:46,040
I promise, if I do it again
1607
01:25:46,174 --> 01:25:48,710
I won't do it in a public setting with everybody there--
1608
01:25:48,843 --> 01:25:51,346
No, honey, stop, stop, stop! You were right.
1609
01:25:51,479 --> 01:25:52,981
You know me better than anyone.
1610
01:25:53,114 --> 01:25:57,085
I love an audience, I live for karaoke! It's like a...
1611
01:25:57,218 --> 01:25:58,953
It's my own Superbowl, but I...
1612
01:26:00,822 --> 01:26:03,191
Glenn, I wanna be the quarterback this time. Okay?
1613
01:26:05,493 --> 01:26:07,495
-Will you... -[gasps]
1614
01:26:07,629 --> 01:26:10,231
Will you, Glenn Winters,
1615
01:26:10,365 --> 01:26:12,667
make me the happiest,
1616
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:16,271
most-financially responsible woman in the State of Idaho?
1617
01:26:16,704 --> 01:26:19,974
Yes, yes! Of course I will! Yes!
1618
01:26:22,710 --> 01:26:25,547
We're gonna do this back at a Boise bingo hall.
1619
01:26:25,680 --> 01:26:26,814
They're gonna cater everything--
1620
01:26:26,948 --> 01:26:29,517
But we're already in the perfect place.
1621
01:26:32,620 --> 01:26:35,857
[sighs] Honestly, you guys gotta learn to loosen up.
1622
01:26:38,126 --> 01:26:39,761
[Milly chuckles]
1623
01:26:42,463 --> 01:26:44,832
-I love you. -Love you, too.
1624
01:26:45,433 --> 01:26:47,168
-Are we doing this? -Yes.
1625
01:26:47,302 --> 01:26:49,704
-Okay. -Let's do this! Come on!
1626
01:26:49,837 --> 01:26:51,873
[Milly] We're doing this. Let's go!
1627
01:26:58,913 --> 01:27:01,616
You know, I'm usually the voice of caution,
1628
01:27:01,749 --> 01:27:05,520
but this might be the best impulsive decision ever.
1629
01:27:07,121 --> 01:27:10,291
You're my best impulsive decision ever.
1630
01:27:10,425 --> 01:27:12,860
This is a close second, though.
1631
01:27:18,766 --> 01:27:20,768
It's like maple syrup for the soul.
1632
01:27:20,902 --> 01:27:23,338
[softly] Sort yourself out, Terry.
1633
01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:33,648
Mom...
1634
01:27:35,516 --> 01:27:38,152
-Oh yeah, rings. Come on. Okay. -Thank you.
1635
01:27:38,286 --> 01:27:41,990
Okay, friends, guests,
1636
01:27:42,123 --> 01:27:45,260
looky-loos, vice principals...
1637
01:27:45,693 --> 01:27:47,395
We are gathered here today
1638
01:27:47,528 --> 01:27:51,199
in the spirit of spontaneous recklessness
1639
01:27:51,332 --> 01:27:54,435
and a Sunrise Package upgrade
1640
01:27:54,902 --> 01:27:59,907
to join Millicent Martin and Glennifer...
1641
01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:04,679
-[Glenn] Glennifer. -...Winters in matrimony.
1642
01:28:04,812 --> 01:28:09,083
So, if anyone can see cause...
1643
01:28:13,488 --> 01:28:15,490
[Kimberly chittering]
1644
01:28:16,624 --> 01:28:18,092
[crowd] Aww!
1645
01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:20,361
Kimberly!
1646
01:28:23,097 --> 01:28:24,265
[crowd] Aww...
1647
01:28:24,399 --> 01:28:27,135
Even the dolphin ships us, honey.
1648
01:28:27,635 --> 01:28:30,438
[softly] Go easy, big girl. Enjoy retirement.
1649
01:28:30,571 --> 01:28:31,839
Bishop, can you speed this up?
1650
01:28:31,973 --> 01:28:34,375
I'd like to be married to this man.
1651
01:28:34,809 --> 01:28:37,345
-Of course. So, do you-- -I do.
1652
01:28:37,478 --> 01:28:38,680
-And-- -I do!
1653
01:28:38,813 --> 01:28:41,649
Well then, the rings.
1654
01:28:41,783 --> 01:28:43,151
-Okay. -Yeah, got it.
1655
01:28:43,284 --> 01:28:44,819
Okay.
1656
01:28:45,653 --> 01:28:48,723
And by the power vested in me by the El Dorado
1657
01:28:48,856 --> 01:28:51,092
and some obscure maritime loophole,
1658
01:28:51,225 --> 01:28:53,761
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1659
01:28:53,895 --> 01:28:55,797
You may kiss your vice principal.
1660
01:28:56,664 --> 01:28:58,833
[all cheering]
1661
01:28:58,966 --> 01:29:00,668
-Wunderschoen! -[Milly yelps]
1662
01:29:03,805 --> 01:29:07,375
This is disgustingly wholesome. I love it!
1663
01:29:11,112 --> 01:29:14,349
Hey, you know what, everybody? Only one thing left to do!
1664
01:29:14,482 --> 01:29:16,384
Waterslides!
1665
01:29:16,517 --> 01:29:18,486
[whooping, cheering]
1666
01:29:26,961 --> 01:29:29,664
-First ride as a family. We in? -Here we go!
1667
01:29:29,797 --> 01:29:31,466
On three, Winters. One, two, three, Winters!
1668
01:29:31,599 --> 01:29:32,834
-Way to go! -[all] Winters!
1669
01:29:33,501 --> 01:29:34,435
Don't slip.
1670
01:29:34,569 --> 01:29:36,437
[upbeat island music playing]
1671
01:29:45,747 --> 01:29:47,582
-Wrong lane! -Thank you.
1672
01:30:07,368 --> 01:30:09,036
-[buzzer sounds] -[Glenn screams]
1673
01:30:12,039 --> 01:30:15,276
-[Milly squeals happily] -[Glenn cheers]
1674
01:30:15,410 --> 01:30:19,947
Whoohoo! You did it. How was it?
1675
01:30:20,648 --> 01:30:24,685
So scary! Water... I've water in my butt!
1676
01:30:51,779 --> 01:30:53,681
Still hate vacations?
1677
01:30:53,815 --> 01:30:57,018
No, you know me. I'm all about spontaneity.
1678
01:30:57,151 --> 01:30:58,986
So, this wouldn't be planned at all?
1679
01:30:59,120 --> 01:31:02,623
[tender music]
1680
01:31:25,713 --> 01:31:28,115
-Everybody say, "Brie!" -[laughter]
1681
01:31:28,249 --> 01:31:30,418
-We did it! -[Glenn, whooping] Yeah!
1682
01:31:30,551 --> 01:31:32,687
[camera shutter clicks]
1683
01:31:33,654 --> 01:31:38,960
♪ I like Christmas by the tree With tinsel hanging down ♪
1684
01:31:39,093 --> 01:31:41,829
♪ There's no doubt that Christmas time's for me... ♪
1685
01:31:41,963 --> 01:31:44,499
Grayson, I carried this tree five blocks. Five long blocks.
1686
01:31:44,632 --> 01:31:46,334
I get a say where this reindeer goes.
1687
01:31:46,467 --> 01:31:48,903
You know, if Mom catches you rearranging Rudolph...
1688
01:31:49,036 --> 01:31:51,439
Hey, man, please don't narc on me. I live here now.
1689
01:31:51,572 --> 01:31:52,807
It would be really uncool.
1690
01:31:52,940 --> 01:31:54,542
Okay, this is Crosby's first visit.
1691
01:31:54,675 --> 01:31:57,979
Everything has to be perfect. Do we even own coasters?
1692
01:31:58,112 --> 01:32:00,381
I highly doubt Crosby's relationship goals
1693
01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:01,916
involve coasters.
1694
01:32:02,049 --> 01:32:04,151
Sweetie, it's Summer's first boyfriend visiting.
1695
01:32:04,285 --> 01:32:07,255
It must be perfect. I want our snacks to say, "Welcome."
1696
01:32:07,388 --> 01:32:10,024
Not, "We buy our cheese at the gas station." You know?
1697
01:32:10,157 --> 01:32:12,660
Come on. The Martin girls are beautiful, funny,
1698
01:32:12,793 --> 01:32:15,263
and effortlessly dope! This guy would be lucky
1699
01:32:15,396 --> 01:32:18,266
to even breathe the same air as the two of you!
1700
01:32:18,399 --> 01:32:21,302
He is right, but when did you get so smooth?
1701
01:32:21,435 --> 01:32:22,570
I've always been smooth,
1702
01:32:22,703 --> 01:32:25,139
you were just distracted by my sensible footwear.
1703
01:32:25,273 --> 01:32:27,742
-Honey, not near the cheese! -[doorbell chimes]
1704
01:32:28,676 --> 01:32:30,845
Okay, here we go.
1705
01:32:30,978 --> 01:32:33,147
-Crosby's here! Crosby's here. -Yeah, yeah...
1706
01:32:33,281 --> 01:32:35,917
-He's here. Be cool. -Relax. Yeah, Glenn...
1707
01:32:37,685 --> 01:32:38,753
Hey, sis.
1708
01:32:40,688 --> 01:32:44,792
Fa-la-la-la, la-la-la-look!
1709
01:32:45,993 --> 01:32:47,662
[Sadie squeals happily]
1710
01:32:49,897 --> 01:32:52,300
Mom, Dad... [chuckles]
1711
01:32:52,433 --> 01:32:54,368
-[Milly] Otto... -[Glenn] Sweet Baby Jesus.
1712
01:32:54,502 --> 01:32:57,738
[Otto] When Sadie pops, we'll have two MILFs in the family!
1713
01:32:57,872 --> 01:33:01,442
Who's up for another destination wedding?
1714
01:33:02,410 --> 01:33:05,680
And I thought the octopus smuggling was our rock bottom.
1715
01:33:18,192 --> 01:33:22,863
My job is at stake. You cannot keep taking my specimens.
1716
01:33:22,997 --> 01:33:26,300
Yeah! [barks like a seal]
1717
01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:28,469
-That's a seal. -Right.
1718
01:33:28,603 --> 01:33:30,171
[chitters like a dolphin]
1719
01:33:30,304 --> 01:33:31,472
Security? I got him.
1720
01:33:31,606 --> 01:33:36,177
-Hey, Grace, just you and me-- -No, I can't. Oh, okay.
1721
01:33:36,310 --> 01:33:38,813
-Send some backup, guys. -Just give him a minute.
1722
01:33:38,946 --> 01:33:40,247
Let him finish.
1723
01:33:40,381 --> 01:33:42,149
Contract. Just hold it in, please!
1724
01:33:42,283 --> 01:33:45,820
Oh! [retching]
1725
01:33:45,953 --> 01:33:48,389
Do you have a charcuterie board with some cheeses?
1726
01:33:48,522 --> 01:33:49,924
Yes!
1727
01:33:50,057 --> 01:33:53,394
-I'm king of the world! Sorry! -Sit the [bleep] down!
1728
01:33:53,527 --> 01:33:55,529
Honey, breathe.
1729
01:33:55,663 --> 01:33:58,833
-You're gonna be a grandma. -What?
1730
01:33:58,966 --> 01:34:00,101
It smells like death!
1731
01:34:00,234 --> 01:34:02,269
What has-- Has something died inside you?
1732
01:34:02,403 --> 01:34:04,905
What is wrong with you? Are you okay?
1733
01:34:05,039 --> 01:34:06,440
You need to see a doctor.
1734
01:34:06,574 --> 01:34:07,842
I love dolphin movies.
1735
01:34:07,975 --> 01:34:10,111
Anything with dolphins in it, I'll watch.
1736
01:34:10,244 --> 01:34:13,014
Mm! Tubi has, like, a million of them.
1737
01:34:13,147 --> 01:34:15,383
Dolphin Tale, Dolphin Summer,
1738
01:34:15,516 --> 01:34:17,852
Bernie the Dolphin. Kinda random, but it's okay.
1739
01:34:17,985 --> 01:34:20,087
[Otto whimpering]
1740
01:34:24,158 --> 01:34:29,063
[revolts] Compress! Compress!
1741
01:34:31,432 --> 01:34:33,334
Come on! Give.
1742
01:34:34,435 --> 01:34:37,004
[gagging]
1743
01:34:44,412 --> 01:34:47,114
[Grace] I know you take them! I know it's you!
1744
01:34:47,248 --> 01:34:49,350
The smuggler is back. Send backup.
1745
01:34:49,483 --> 01:34:53,688
Help! Help! Security! Come here!
1746
01:34:53,821 --> 01:34:57,958
Quickly, quickly, we need backup. The smuggler is back!
1747
01:34:58,092 --> 01:35:00,561
I can't believe he's back. Get over here!
1748
01:35:00,695 --> 01:35:03,864
-Get over here! -I'm on lunch!
125078
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