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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,704
Oh, man, I'm as
giddy as a--
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,839
Ninny?
3
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,007
No.
4
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,141
Boob?
5
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,176
Not quite. More than ninny,
less than boob.
6
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,679
Why are you so jacked up
over a batch
7
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,547
of windshield washer fluid?
8
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:17,217
Maybe this will
answer your question?
9
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,685
Aaah.
10
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,020
Nope.
11
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,355
Well, it's red.
The old stuff was blue.
12
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,858
We used to sell blue,
now we're selling red.
13
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,393
Wow.
14
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:29,362
I hope we don't get
trampled in the rush.
15
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,902
♪ You can tell me that
your dog ran away ♪
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,339
♪ Then tell me that it
took three days ♪
17
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:44,878
♪ I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say ♪
18
00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:49,115
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
19
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:52,419
♪ Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong ♪
20
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:56,056
♪ And that's why you can
stay so long ♪
21
00:00:56,189 --> 00:01:00,060
♪ Where there's not a lot
goin' on ♪♪
22
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,263
Hey. Check this out.
23
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,032
I can see my house
from outer space.
24
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,901
Cool, huh?
25
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,803
Fitzy got us an
onboard computer.
26
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,705
It-it's like in Knight Rider ,
where Kit had that computer.
27
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,240
Kit was the computer.
28
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,176
No. Kit was the car.
29
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,078
Kit was the car
and the computer.
30
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,613
How can a car
be a computer?
31
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:24,417
It even comes with a GPS, that's
Global Positioning System.
Cool.
32
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,419
Are we still third
from the sun?
33
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,420
No.
34
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,922
Well, I mean yes.
35
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,559
But this tells us where
we are on the globe.
36
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,194
See?
37
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,429
We're at Corner Gas.
38
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,131
That's a heck of a rig.
39
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:40,066
I was sure Kit was the guy.
40
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,935
No, the guy was
Knight Rider.
41
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,104
Hang on. This is weird.,
42
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,940
The town line is here,
43
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,943
and Corner Gas is over here.
44
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:51,077
What?
45
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,948
The gas station isn't
actually in Dog River.
46
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,616
Ah, you're right.
47
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:59,452
The guy's name was
Michael Knight.
48
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,225
See?
49
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,994
This was supposed to be
picked up yesterday.
50
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,496
The garbage
truck's broken.
51
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,997
Until it gets fixed,
52
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,166
everyone's gonna have to live
with some garbage.
53
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,101
Oh, this stinks, Fitzy.
54
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,636
This literally stinks.
55
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:19,639
What am I supposed to do?
I-I'm just the mayor.
56
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,779
I'll take your garbage.
57
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,815
Hank, you don't
have to do that.
58
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,284
Come on in.
I'll give you some food.
59
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,520
I think he means
he'll take the job.
60
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,521
Huh? Oh.
61
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,456
Of course.
62
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,158
How much would you charge?
63
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,792
Charge?
64
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,195
Oh, charge. Yeah.
65
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,763
Uh...
66
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:45,465
a thousand bucks.
67
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,966
I have twenty dollars.
68
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,368
Twenty-five.
69
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,369
Done.
70
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,671
What a rube, uh?
71
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:54,274
That's exactly what
I was thinking.
72
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,180
Stupid bank.
73
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,015
Are they still
calling me Omar?
74
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,183
Yes.
75
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,186
But you'll be glad to know
the bank made a mistake
76
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:09,289
and owes money to Omar
and his wife Elna.
77
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:10,590
Who's Elna?
78
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,026
Some idiot who shouldn't
have married Omar.
79
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,861
Actually, it's good news.
80
00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:17,864
We get a credit
of over 300 bucks.
81
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:20,700
You mean like a bank
error in our favour?
Yeah.
82
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,835
Maybe next month you'll
win a beauty contest
83
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,504
and collect fifty dollars.
84
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,539
Yeah. Who knows?
85
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:29,375
So The Ruby's in Dog River,
but Corner Gas isn't?
86
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,910
Computers don't lie.
87
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,214
We're in Dog River now, but if
we went through those doors,
88
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:35,715
God knows where we'd be.
89
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,217
You'd be in the can.
90
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:40,720
It's a door to the bathroom, not
a vortex to another dimension.
91
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:43,690
Yeah. Well, it's a vortex to
outside the town border.
92
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,358
Hey, check this out.
93
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,460
Here comes Fitzy.
This is gonna be great.
94
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,195
What will be great?
95
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,864
I played a practical
joke on him.
96
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:56,236
Somebody slashed
the tires on my car.
97
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,839
You slashed his tires?
98
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,574
Pretty good gag, uh?
99
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,814
Did they move
the town border?
100
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,549
And why would they do that?
101
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,885
I don't know, taxes.
Tax reasons, probably.
102
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,755
It wouldn't surprise me
if it was taxes. Typical.
103
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,624
You're probably right.
104
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,125
Stupid government.
105
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,562
Things are hummin'
along and they throw a
wrench into the mix.
106
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,763
Exactly.
107
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:26,065
Then there's a bunch of
paperwork and extra costs.
108
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,101
Sing it, sister. Wait.
Extra costs?
109
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,103
Yeah. Like my per diem.
110
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,472
Your what?
You know?
111
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,907
Provincial Labour Code.
112
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,677
I'm what they call a
non-regional employee now,
113
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,146
so you have to pay me
a per diem.
114
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,648
Get out of town.
115
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,249
I am out of town.
116
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,419
So you're supposed to pay me
an extra $20 every working day.
117
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,954
What? That's ridiculous.
118
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:49,622
You've been workin'
here for years.
119
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:50,757
I know.
120
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,825
And technically you're
supposed to back date it
121
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,961
and pay me for the
previous years too.
122
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,462
Forget that noise.
123
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:59,465
I'm startin' your per diem
as of today, and that's it.
124
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:03,803
Stupid government.
125
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,807
So how's the garbage man?
126
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,176
It's not garbage man.
That's insulting.
127
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,679
Uh, we prefer the term
janitorial--
128
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:17,817
I mean custodial worker,
civic custodial worker...
129
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,486
engineer... technician.
130
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,290
Yeah.
131
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,160
You can tell a lot about people
when you collect their garbage,
132
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,630
especially if you take time to
rifle through it a little bit.
133
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,166
People just think
of it as garbage.
134
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,836
But, really, it's like a wet
sticky bag of half rotten clues.
135
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,671
Oh, that is lovely.
136
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,506
Take Bill Watrous, for example.
137
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,408
That's guy's got
commitment issues.
138
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:44,043
Because he throws
away garbage?
139
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,813
Bag after bag of
microwave popcorn.
140
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,883
Can't commit to the time
or effort it takes to
pop it the real way.
141
00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:52,518
Just wham, bam,
thank you, Orville.
142
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,821
I use microwave popcorn.
143
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,856
Big surprise.
144
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:02,362
Slashing someone's tires
is not a practical joke.
145
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,198
It's serious,
and impractical.
146
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,700
You pulled an
impractical serious.
147
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,502
My jokes are
just too complex.
148
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,037
You don't get 'em.
149
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,205
Complex?
150
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:14,207
Like last April Fools?
151
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,511
What the hell?
152
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,713
April Fools!
153
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,215
That was a good one.
154
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,885
Look, let me explain
how this works.
155
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:30,223
Practical jokes involve planning
and layering and subtle--
156
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:35,228
Gotcha!
157
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,731
This is going to take more
explaining than I thought.
158
00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:51,511
Hank's goin' through
everyone's garbage.
159
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:55,548
If he finds out we have
that extra 300 bucks,
he'll be all over us.
160
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,650
Oh, cut them
vertically too.
161
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:02,822
There. Now Garbage Boy won't
know how much money we got.
162
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,361
Hey, Brent.
Your parents are loaded.
163
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,863
Check out what I found
in their garbage.
164
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:16,502
You don't throw away a
hat this nice unless
you got some serious coin.
165
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,237
Or fashion sense.
166
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,639
Yeah.
167
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,942
You've bought a lot of stupid
things, but I have to say,
168
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,577
these are pretty cool.
169
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,646
Hey, Lacey, you should
check them out.
170
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,015
They make faraway things
look close up.
171
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,883
I'm not falling for that.
172
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,051
For what?
173
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,886
Davis and his practical jokes.
174
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,556
I try this, I get big
rings around my eyes.
175
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,591
And then he throws
somethin' at me.
176
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,395
Hello, The Ruby.
177
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:44,063
Hello?
178
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,232
Oh, I hate it
when that happens.
179
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,700
Nice face, Lacey.
180
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,235
Thank you.
181
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,138
What?
182
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,908
Oh.
183
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,744
Oh, okay, Davis,
you got me.
184
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:02,014
Well, I am the master
of the practical joke.
185
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,549
That was my joke.
186
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,052
Oh, come on, Karen,
let Davis have his due.
187
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,754
You like the way I misled
you with the binoculars?
188
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,490
That was pretty smooth.
189
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,692
Smooth because of me.
190
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,929
Hey.
191
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,432
What's in the bag?
192
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:22,034
As if.
193
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:25,738
You don't want to tell me,
you don't have to.
I know.
194
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,740
Is it something exotic?
Watch your mouth.
195
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,776
I said exotic.
And I said watch your mouth.
196
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,746
Why would it be
something exotic?
Oh, uh, no reason.
197
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:36,749
I just thought, um, if
money were no object.
198
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,952
What? What about our money?
He knows about the money.
199
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,954
He does now, poker face.
200
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,423
You don't have to be
embarrassed about your wealth.
201
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,926
I could be rich.
I choose not to be.
202
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,561
Good choice.
And we're not rich.
203
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,596
Don't worry, your
secret's safe with me.
204
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:54,300
MAN:
How's Mr. and Mrs. Trump today?
205
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:57,036
That could mean anything.
206
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,674
I heard you got punked.
207
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,576
Yeah, Davis pulled
a good one.
208
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,445
KAREN:
It was my joke.
209
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,980
Hey, you want some lunch?
210
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,449
I'd love some lunch.
I just can't afford it.
211
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,318
Oh, come on.
The special's only 4.99.
212
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,320
That's like 8.99
more than I have.
213
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:16,188
These new employee
regulations are killing me.
214
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,658
You'll just have to juggle
the budget a bit,
215
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,493
maybe spend less on advertising.
216
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:23,829
Advertising? Why? I should take
this patch off my shirt?
217
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,865
In business there are
only two choices:
218
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,501
lower your expenses or
increase your revenue.
219
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,503
You're completely
overlooking bankruptcy
220
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,104
and insurance fraud.
221
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,676
What's the deal with the red
windshield washer fluid?
222
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,778
Look, in business
you have two choices--
223
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:40,780
And where's the
dill pickle chips?
224
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:44,984
Here in Dog River we
like dill pickle chips.
225
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,485
Here in Dog River?
226
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,154
I was born in Dog River.
227
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:51,791
I was eatin' dill pickle chips
when I was two months old.
228
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,326
Brent. Don't yell.
229
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,828
We don't care for that
boisterous behaviour,
230
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,630
here in Dog River.
231
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,672
Hey, I was thinkin' we should
pull off another practical joke.
232
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,541
Well, let me know how it goes.
233
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,043
What? You can't bail now.
234
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:13,045
We're partners.
235
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:16,649
You're the ideas
and I'm the... partner.
236
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:20,119
Yeah. Take all the credit and
leave me twisting in the wind
237
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,154
like a... like a...
238
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:25,124
Hey, we should pull a gag
on Phil at the bar.
239
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:27,827
I want to say pinwheel,
but that doesn't really twist.
240
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,262
We could rub dog poop
on the door handle,
241
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:34,400
so when he opens it, his hand
will be covered in dog poop.
242
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:37,970
From slashing tires to dog poop.
You've come a long way.
243
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,406
Ya think?
No.
244
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,409
Does a kite twist
in the wind?
245
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,212
What the hell is this?
246
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:47,380
It's windshield
washer fluid.
247
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,882
It's the same as the blue
stuff, it's just red.
248
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:51,851
Why's it so cheap?
Does it work?
249
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:54,553
I can't believe you'd
sell somethin' that
doesn't even work.
250
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,756
I'm not gonna sell something
that doesn't work.
251
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,458
You sold me that stupid
fishing reel that didn't work.
252
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,594
I gave you your
money back, didn't I?
253
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,262
No.
254
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:06,098
Stay on topic. This is about
the washer fluid.
255
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,401
I don't trust it.
Why is it red?
256
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,202
I don't know.
Maybe it's cinnamon.
257
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,104
It's less expensive.
258
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:16,275
Since you moved the gas station
out of town, you think you can
do whatever you want.
259
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,444
I don't even know you anymore.
260
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:22,448
I'll miss you.
261
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,152
You try and help
some people.
262
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:27,520
I know.
263
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,790
It's almost like they want you
to take advantage of them.
264
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,125
Oh.
265
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,627
What's this?
266
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,196
It's the receipt for
my lunch at The Ruby.
267
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:38,731
You know, Labour Code.
268
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:42,001
Employer must pay for a minimum
of three lunches per week.
269
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,470
Or maybe it's four.
I should look it up.
270
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,206
No. No, no, I-I'm pretty sure
it's three.
271
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:50,109
I shouldn't have to
pay for two desserts.
272
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:52,712
I shouldn't have to choose
between two desserts.
273
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:57,750
Stupid government.
274
00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:02,988
Lacey, you gotta
do somethin'.
275
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,156
About what?
276
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,192
Brent, and this
devil juice.
277
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:08,160
It's not actual
devil juice.
278
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,962
It's not cinnamon,
that's for sure.
279
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,497
It wasn't even minty.
280
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,966
Oh. Is this about the
windshield washer fluid?
281
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,802
You guys really have to
roll with things better.
282
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,504
It's no surprise, really.
283
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:21,941
Who knows what he gets up to
way out there in the boonies.
284
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:24,276
Lacey, you run a
business here in town.
285
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,712
You know how things work.
Talk to him.
286
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,151
You think I'm one of you?
287
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:34,553
Plus you're emotionally
closer to him than we are.
288
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:37,690
He's your only child.
You've raised him since birth.
289
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,692
Exactly. I'm done.
290
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,495
I suppose it wouldn't hurt
to have a friendly little
291
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:45,698
chin wag with him, make him
see our point of view.
292
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,400
You're the crazy outsider
with the hare-brained ideas
293
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:52,238
and I am the trusted local
with all the common sense.
294
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:55,541
Huh? In your face!
How do you like it?
295
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,709
Oh, yeah.
296
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,544
Whoo-hoo!
297
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,247
That's not cool.
298
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,249
Hey, are you gonna
take my garbage?
299
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:05,251
Aw, sorry, bud,
you're not in town.
300
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,720
I only pick up for locals.
Common sense.
301
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,201
Well, it was my idea.
302
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,103
Well, yeah, I'm sure
you helped out.
303
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,638
I didn't help .
304
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,808
I came up with the whole thing.
I created it.
305
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:31,143
I wrote and produced
the entire joke.
306
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,845
Yeah, okay.
307
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:36,115
Don't you remember the one
I pulled on Wanda last year?
308
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,585
Aaach!
309
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,488
Who the heck put
sardines in my car?
310
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,190
Karen?
311
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:46,192
You got somethin'
on your shirt.
312
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,193
What?
313
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,501
You better hope
your gun is loaded.
314
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,539
Whipped cream in
the face, brilliant.
315
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,675
Where does he come up
with that stuff.
316
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,376
From someone in preschool?
317
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,880
And the beating Wanda gave him
after was pretty funny too.
318
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,182
Those aren't practical jokes.
319
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,557
Geez, this wiper
fluid's expensive.
320
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,193
Yeah? Well, the people around
here are nuts for it.
321
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:24,196
It Pit Creek it's like
two bucks cheaper.
322
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,765
It's red, but
we deal with it.
323
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,300
Oh, you're from Pit Creek.
324
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,904
Hey, uh, we're in the
same municipality.
325
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,906
We should have a parade.
326
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,407
I'm just sayin'.
327
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,909
And I'm just leavin'.
328
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:39,078
Oh, hey, before you go,
answer me this.
329
00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:43,082
When you work outside of
your region, how much
per diem do you get paid?
330
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:45,150
Per diem?
Who am I, Van Halen?
331
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,852
I don't know
all the rules.
332
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:51,190
The gal who works for
me just tells me how
much I have to pay her.
333
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:55,227
When you said that just now,
did it sound stupid to you?
334
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,630
Kind of.
335
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,598
You've been very helpful.
336
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,736
Okay, we're gonna do
another practical joke.
337
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,939
But this time you're not gonna
leave me twisting in the wind
338
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,507
like a...
339
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,210
By now you'd think I would've
thought of something.
340
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,612
Are we gonna put dog poop
on Phil's door?
341
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,614
No, cooking oil.
342
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,449
Cooking oil and dog poop?
343
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,951
Just cooking oil.
344
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,620
It makes the doorknob slippery
so he can't open it.
345
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,223
Maybe I'll bring some
dog poop just in case.
346
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,594
I just want him to stop
going through our garbage.
347
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,863
So, I suppose if
I were the mailman,
348
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,432
you wouldn't want me going
through your mail either?
349
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:35,334
Have you been
reading our mail?
350
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,102
Only the stuff you throw out
351
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,838
or the stuff I think
you're gonna throw out. Yes.
352
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,607
Look, I don't
like it either.
353
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,709
But the garbage truck's
transmission is shot.
354
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,511
So pay to have it fixed.
355
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:47,646
Rich people like you
always think it's just
356
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,782
a matter of throwing
money at the problem.
357
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,650
We're not rich!
358
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,286
Musta heard about
the blue hat.
359
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,490
Oh, this is great.
360
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,492
Hangin' out with
my fellow locals.
361
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,994
You feeling all right?
362
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,295
Oh, yeah.
363
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,799
Very at home, as anyone would,
who's from around here.
364
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,334
Check this out.
365
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,835
Hey, Phil,
366
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,838
can you open the door?
It's a bit stuffy in here.
367
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,506
PHIL:
You bet.
368
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,748
Good joke, Davis.
Another classic.
369
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,284
And just for the record,
this is my joke.
370
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,286
I thought of it. It's mine.
371
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,688
Hey, what's on the door?
372
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,190
I know. It's slippery, right?
373
00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:32,691
It's-it's burning.
374
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:36,829
Is this canola oil?
I'm allergic to canola oil.
375
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,300
Mine and Davis's idea.
376
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,035
Karen, how could you?
377
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:45,170
You see, Davis
and I are a team.
378
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,206
Way to ruin Davis's joke.
379
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:51,310
That is not how we locals
do things here in Dog River.
380
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:58,217
New speakers for your car?
381
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:02,021
Labour Code 174,
Subsection b.
382
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,423
"No employer shall make
an employee from another
383
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:08,694
municipality drive to work
listening to a crappy stereo."
384
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,596
It's under Car Allowance.
385
00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,731
Stupid government.
386
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,367
Hey, who would you hire
between these two?,
387
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:16,568
Aahhk.
388
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:18,203
Shaffon?
389
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,873
Anyone with that name's
gonna be high maintenance.
390
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:23,575
And this one--Wait.
We're hiring?
391
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,843
Well, I am.
392
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,112
I mean obviously I have
to replace you.
393
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:28,380
Stupid rules.
394
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,215
If you only have one employee,
395
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,384
that employee has to be
from the region.
396
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:34,620
It's Labour Code, you know,
Section 1999,
397
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:38,123
paragraph 11 through 14,
subchapter k.
398
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:39,625
Oh, yeah, that one.
399
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:43,328
Yeah, it's a shame, too. You
and I have had some good times.
400
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,631
I can't think of an
example right now.
401
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:49,168
But drop by for a coffee if
you're ever out this way.
402
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:52,471
You know, travel allowance,
speakers,
403
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,106
they're more of a guide.
404
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,910
I do believe per diem is
actually Latin for "suggestion."
405
00:17:57,943 --> 00:18:00,646
They're, uh, they're
not written in stone.
406
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,414
They're not written
in here either.
407
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:03,816
Oh.
408
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,851
So you can read.
409
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,121
Right. Well, I've got
some speakers to return.
410
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,924
Boy, all this readin' can
sure make a fella hungry.
411
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:16,428
Would you like me to pick you
something up from The Ruby?
412
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,430
Oh, are you buying?
413
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,432
Stupid government.
414
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:26,672
How was I supposed to know Phil
was allergic to canola?
415
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,475
And if you're allergic to
canola, get outta Saskatchewan.
416
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:31,143
I wanted to use dog poop.
417
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,145
That woulda been funny.
418
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,781
Here's your change, guys.
419
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,983
His hands seem okay.
420
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:41,320
Almost like he's not
allergic at all.
421
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,821
July Fools!
422
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,656
Gotcha!
423
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,291
What are you
talking about?
424
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,994
This whole thing was a joke,
just to get you.
425
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,463
Yeah, and he got you good.
426
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:53,031
What? The-the Phil gag?
Uh-huh.
427
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,367
And the phone trick?
Oh, yeah.
428
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,136
Even Fitzy's tires.
429
00:18:57,169 --> 00:19:00,172
You got your tires
slashed for a joke?
430
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,673
Or did I?
431
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,709
It was actually an
elaborate illusion.
432
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:05,477
Here's how we
pulled it off.
433
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,182
Hey, go in there and say
your tires are slashed.
434
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,684
Okay.
435
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,488
Okay, maybe not elaborate.
436
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:17,956
But it worked.
437
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,491
Oh, ho, ho, yeah.
438
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:24,329
Geez, Lacey, your garbage
at home's way more interesting.
439
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,565
Well, thank you.
But you can leave that.
440
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,233
Oh, well.
441
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,236
I couldn't call myself
a sanitorial janitation
technologist if I did.
442
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,840
Actually, Hank, your services
will no longer be required.
443
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:35,974
What?
444
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,476
You can't do this.
445
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,211
This is who I am.
446
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,713
When people think of trash,
they think of me.
447
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,882
And I don't think
that's gonna change.
448
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:45,918
It's nice of you
to say, but--
449
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,419
Sorry, Hank.
450
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,023
I fought for ya, but people
raised some legitimate concerns.
451
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,692
We'll give ya a hundred
bucks to fire Hank.
452
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,726
Two hundred.
453
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,895
Two fifty.
And that's our final offer.
454
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,263
Done.
455
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,366
Let me just say, on behalf
of the town, we appreciate
456
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,236
rich people like yourself
throwing money at the problem.
457
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,573
I woulda gone
as high as 300.
458
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,708
Tell it to the bank, Omar.
459
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:23,689
here on Spaceship Earth.
460
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,124
No, it just looks
browner than I thought.
461
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,593
Show me The Ruby.
462
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:28,894
Okay.
463
00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:32,164
There's Dog River.
There's the border.
464
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,366
Now we zoom out.
465
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,901
That's weird.
466
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,370
Now all of Dog River's
outside of Dog River.
467
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,973
Ah, that doesn't make sense.
That line didn't move.
468
00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:43,208
Is that a crack?
469
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,843
No. It's a line.
470
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,179
Caused by a tiny separation
in the glass
471
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,749
following some kind of impact.
472
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,154
So all this was caused
by a lousy crack?
473
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,222
I know.
474
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,658
Can you believe Davis
put us through all this?
475
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:02,294
In particular me
through all this.
476
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,162
Well, don't worry.
477
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,632
I've got a plan
to get him back.
478
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:16,842
Closed Captioning by
479
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:19,478
Vertical Sync
Closed Captioning Services Inc.
480
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,748
www.verticalsync.com
481
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:26,151
♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪
482
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:34,459
♪ I don't know
I just don't know ♪
483
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:43,168
♪ It's a great big place ♪
484
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:46,805
♪ full of nothin' but space ♪
485
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,807
♪ and it's my happy place ♪
486
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,511
♪ I don't know
Yes you do ♪
487
00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:56,548
♪ You just won't admit it ♪
488
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:59,685
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas.com
489
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:04,656
♪ I don't know ♪
490
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:09,328
♪ I just don't know ♪♪
35383
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