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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:06,039 Can you believe it? 2 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,541 I got turned down for a credit card. 3 00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:11,211 Hmm, that does seem weird. Did you apply? 4 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:12,245 Yes. 5 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:13,613 Oh, it makes sense. 6 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,215 They sent something in the mail, 7 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,250 said I was already pre-approved-- 8 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:19,753 Ah, ha-heh, the old pre-approved thing. 9 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,755 He-heh, oldest trick in the book. 10 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,289 Older than this? 11 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,725 Ah! That's not in the book. 12 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,727 I had big plans for this card. 13 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,996 What a kick in the teeth this is. 14 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,432 Oh, don't feel bad, Wanda. You're just like me. 15 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,801 What a kick in the teeth that is. 16 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:38,171 No, I got the same pre-approved thing in the mail too. 17 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:42,075 Except they gave me a card. But otherwise, same sad story. 18 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:43,977 You got a credit card? 19 00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:47,514 Yeah. It's no big thing. It was pre-approved. 20 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,150 Hey, Brent, you got something on your shirt. 21 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,751 Like this? 22 00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:57,524 ♪ You can tell me that your dog ran away ♪ 23 00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,327 ♪ Then tell me that it took three days ♪ 24 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:07,200 ♪ I've heard every joke, I've heard every one you say ♪ 25 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:11,071 ♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪ 26 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,874 ♪ Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong ♪ 27 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,078 ♪ And that's why you can stay so long ♪ 28 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:22,515 ♪ Where there's not a lot goin' on ♪♪ 29 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:25,351 This is blatant discrimination. 30 00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:28,021 How come Hank gets a card and I don't? 31 00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:30,023 I didn't want to get one. 32 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:33,126 I had to have a credit card to rent a movie. 33 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,694 That was Brent's idea. 34 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,362 All the good movies are taken. 35 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,232 The only ones left are the ones with lousy production values. 36 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,334 All that matters are story and character. 37 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,336 Production values aren't important. 38 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,674 We have to get tough on late fees. 39 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,876 Make it so you need a credit card. 40 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:52,712 Now it's all computerized. 41 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,849 Computer. It's so cold and impersonal. 42 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,184 That's what I like about it. 43 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,660 The Secret of Skull Mountain? 44 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,930 Bet you didn't take me for a Hardy Boys reader, did ya? 45 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,133 Aren't you a little old for those? 46 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,202 What? It's a very realistic crime drama about smugglers 47 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:20,306 holed up in a mountain, shaped like a skull. 48 00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,308 What's with the getup? 49 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,577 Oh, I'm gettin' ready for the new physical. 50 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,112 What physical? 51 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,114 The province is bringing in new standards 52 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,183 for rural police forces. 53 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,885 Didn't you read the memo? 54 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,587 I don't have time to read memos. 55 00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:38,691 Oh, boy! Frank and Joe are in quite the pickle. 56 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,095 Hey, what's new? 57 00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:44,597 Aah, Wanda's all cranky. 58 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,666 What's new? Yeah, good point. 59 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,469 But this particular time it's because she got turned down 60 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,937 for a credit card. 61 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,939 Oh. You shouldn't tell me that. 62 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,807 Oh. I think I just did. 63 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,843 It's not good confidante etiquette. 64 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,845 Well, she didn't tell me in confidence. 65 00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,548 I'm not a confidante. I'm confident I'm not a confidante. 66 00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:04,150 With things like money, you need to be careful. 67 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,119 (quietly) Take Frank Warman, 68 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,922 he told me the bank might foreclose on his house. 69 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,392 When I hear something like that, mum's the word. 70 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,361 Hey, Frank, is this true, you might lose the house? 71 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,764 Thanks a lot, Lacey. 72 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,268 I told you that in confidence. 73 00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:24,170 (door slams) 74 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,776 Brent's got a computer keeping track of the videos 75 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,277 at the gas station. 76 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,278 So? 77 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,846 What about trust? 78 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,149 Stupid computer. 79 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,051 It's like that movie. What movie? 80 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,688 You know, had the computer in it. It was a movie. 81 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:45,592 Missed it. Maybe nobody returned it. 82 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,194 I don't like the computer. That's my take. 83 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,829 Where's the trust? 84 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,931 Don't tell me. Tell Brent. 85 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,533 I will. 86 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:57,036 While you're at it, take back your movies. 87 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,905 I'll do that later. 88 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,440 Yeah, right. 89 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,208 (door slams) 90 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,347 Hey, what's all this stuff? 91 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,015 Did you get a credit card? 92 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,017 m getting in shape for a physical. 93 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,219 Oh, check it out. Heart monitor. 94 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:14,520 Hey, cool. 95 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:17,590 You know, on the subject of credit cards, I got one. 96 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,492 There's a cartoon heart on my watch, 97 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,728 lets me know my real heart's going. 98 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,596 The physical's gonna be tough. 99 00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:26,833 You can't just buy the gear. You've gotta actually exercise. 100 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,701 Shopping's exercise. 101 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,275 Track pants, workout shirts. 102 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,243 You don't need all this stuff. 103 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,512 Do you like the blue or the grey? 104 00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,819 Lacey says I'm not a good confidante. 105 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,721 Did she tell you that in confidence? 106 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:49,756 Maybe. 107 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,624 Whoops. None of your business. 108 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:54,227 You come in here a lot complaining about Lacey. 109 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,094 Do I? 110 00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,796 Maybe you don't. I don't care. 111 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:58,665 I'm trying to get through this sweater. 112 00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,767 I think I'm a better confidante than Lacey. 113 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,535 Don't tell me. Tell her. 114 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,037 I will. 115 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,274 And tell Dad he's gotta take back these movies. 116 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,742 He's upsetting the computer. 117 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,277 Why don't you? 118 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,279 (door slams) 119 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,847 Yeah, right. 120 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,518 Wanda. 121 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:19,585 Hi. 122 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:21,988 Hi. 123 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,890 How are ya doin'? 124 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:25,725 Fine. 125 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:29,395 It's okay. Brent told me about the credit card thing. 126 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:30,563 Oh. 127 00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:33,433 He's not a very good confidante. 128 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,068 Are you gonna be okay? 129 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:38,371 Well, I'm upset, I'm cheesed off. 130 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,939 I'm really cheesed off! 131 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,675 Well, it is not worth losing your cheese over. 132 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,777 This is discrimination. 133 00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:46,312 I'm not sure I follow. 134 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,581 Women pay more to get their hair cut, 135 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,783 they pay more to have their car fixed, 136 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,985 they pay more to have their shirts cleaned. 137 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,288 You send your shirts out to be cleaned? 138 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,156 Well, no. 139 00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,692 But I might, if it wasn't so expensive. 140 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,928 You think this is because you're a woman? 141 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,364 Well, it's not because I'm a giraffe. 142 00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,898 You could be right. 143 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:09,135 Of course I'm a woman and I have three credit cards, 144 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,337 but I'm sure you're onto something. 145 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:16,943 What does losing your cheese mean? 146 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,847 So, did Frank and Joe catch the smugglers yet? 147 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,348 Great. 148 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,317 Way to give away an ending. 149 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:25,785 You know what you need? 150 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,320 A private office? 151 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,756 A personal coach, someone who could give you 152 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,191 a kick in the butt when you needed it. 153 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,061 Aw, thanks, Karen. But I don't think that would work, 154 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,896 with us being colleagues and all. 155 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,532 Me? I wasn't thinking of me. 156 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,134 Now give me 20. 157 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,139 I mean 20 bucks. I don't coach for free. 158 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,285 Wanda. Wait. Nobody. Dammit. 159 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,487 Keeping a secret is not your strong suit. 160 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,055 Well, there's more to it. 161 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,057 You've gotta get people to open up. 162 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,959 I'm a good opener. I provoke opening. 163 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,361 No, you don't. 164 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,897 Oh, yeah? You pick anybody in this town 165 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,065 and they'd rather confide in me than you. 166 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,500 All right. You're on. 167 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,169 All right. 168 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,905 Now we've just gotta find somebody that we both know, 169 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,174 but somebody we don't know real well. 170 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,375 Mm-hmm. 171 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:29,515 Let's keep this on the Q.T. The what? 172 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:32,084 Entre nous. Come again? 173 00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,653 Between us. 174 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:36,022 Oh. Well, next time just say that. 175 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,391 What were you guys noddin' about? 176 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,928 What's this? 177 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:43,996 The one guarantee of physical fitness, 178 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,498 the Canada Fitness Guide. 179 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,099 Six events: 180 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,502 the 50 metre sprint, the endurance run, 181 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:52,672 sit-ups, the shuttle run, the standing broad jump, 182 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:55,041 and the flexed arm hang. 183 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,542 What does that do? 184 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,245 If you can do this, you can pass any physical. 185 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:02,281 The Canadian Fitness Test is the last great thing 186 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,550 this country ever achieved. 187 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,118 I don't know, Oscar. 188 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:08,554 Come on. Don't just think about it. Do it! 189 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,089 (ParticipACTION theme plays) 190 00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:14,460 ♪ Don't just think about it ♪ ♪ Do it, do it, do it ♪ 191 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,996 ♪ Do it with a partner It's really smarter ♪ 192 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,499 ♪ Do it in the water It's where you ought to ♪ 193 00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,868 ♪ Do it on the weekend It's not fatiguing ♪ 194 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,437 ♪ Do it while you're groovin' It'll keep ya movin' ♪ 195 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,072 Do it! 196 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,441 I don't wanna do it. 197 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,646 Lacey, I told you about my new credit card, right? 198 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:36,082 Actually, I read about it in the Howler . 199 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:42,054 Wanna see it? There's a hologram of a bird. 200 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,456 I'm good. 201 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,192 Feel the letters in my name. They're bumpy. Go ahead, feel. 202 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,994 Wow. 203 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,096 That is a bumpy name you got there. 204 00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:52,798 Oh, yeah. I told ya. 205 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:56,135 Hey, do you pay more than Davis to have your shirts cleaned? 206 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:59,338 More than Davis? Yeah, I guess I do. 207 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,742 I can't believe you put up with that. 208 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,378 It's just the way it is. 209 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,079 How's it goin', Karen? 210 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,048 Fine. 211 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,450 You look l like you got somethin' on your mind. 212 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,620 Go ahead, confide in me. Open up. Hit me. 213 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,255 I'll hit ya. 214 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,225 Karen and I are talking, entre que . 215 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,760 Is this about my shirts? 216 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:22,628 Oh, somethin' bothering you about your shirts? 217 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,064 She pays more than Davis to have them cleaned. 218 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,632 Oh, you told Wanda already. 219 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,601 What's the problem? They're just shirts. 220 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,836 Can we move on to something else, 221 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,939 somethin' you haven't already told somebody? 222 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,509 I'd like to help, but I have no idea what you're talking about. 223 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:40,646 So why don't you go pay less for a pair of blue jeans somewhere? 224 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,151 Hey, Lacey. Hey. 225 00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,320 Karen, anything eating you? 226 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,621 Pardon? 227 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:51,123 You know, anything on your mind? Well, kind of. 228 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,625 Because I'm a great listener. 229 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,494 Well, it's just-- Just use me as your sounding board. 230 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,430 Okay. Well-- Because sometimes it feels good 231 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,065 just to say things out loud. 232 00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,066 I'm trying. 233 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,834 Oh. I'm sorry. 234 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,837 Go ahead. 235 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:08,040 Brent's been kinda weird around me. 236 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,342 Uh-huh? 237 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,278 He wants me to confide in him. 238 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,679 Oh. 239 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,748 That's all? 240 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,583 Thanks for being there for me. 241 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,852 Well, you didn't tell him anything, did you? 242 00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:23,089 Whatever you do, don't confide in him. 243 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,857 Don't listen to her. 244 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,860 I'm outta here. Oh. 245 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:34,166 I still don't know about this old fitness guide. 246 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,302 I was thinking of something more contemporary, 247 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,305 like Jazzercize or Hot Yoga. 248 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:45,044 I coached Brent to five gold ParticipACTION medals in a row. Really? 249 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:48,581 But I could never get him an Award of Excellence. 250 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,116 What's that? 251 00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:52,585 One higher than gold. 252 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,587 Higher than gold? 253 00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,389 They don't have that in the Olympics. 254 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:57,990 I tried. 255 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,159 But those idiots at the Canadian Olympic Committee 256 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,594 have no clue. 257 00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,162 I'm sorry, Mr. Leroy. 258 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,131 I can't convince the other countries involved 259 00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:07,633 in the Olympic movement to go along with this. 260 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,902 The old Ken Read would have done it, 261 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:12,271 the Crazy Canuck Ken Read. 262 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:15,141 Those days are gone. I'm not crazy anymore. 263 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:16,876 No. Now you're useless. 264 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,511 Stick with me, kid. 265 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,614 You've got what it takes to go all the way. 266 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:23,215 Okay. 267 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:29,622 What a spree, what a spree! 268 00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,157 You guys shoulda seen it. 269 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,625 Ah, we'll read the ad. 270 00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,161 So what did you buy with your credit card? 271 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,629 A wallet. 272 00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,631 It holds my credit card. 273 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:41,434 It also holds money, if that ever comes up. 274 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,169 What are you guys up to? 275 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,806 We're having a contest to see who can get Karen to confide in them. 276 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,340 Great. Tell everyone. 277 00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,643 Tell her something you did that was embarrassing. 278 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,479 That'll disarm her and then she'll open up to you. 279 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,147 That's not a bad idea. 280 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,615 That could work. 281 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,452 Hey, did I show you guys my other new wallet? 282 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,257 Oh, hi, Brent. 283 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,194 I'm on my way to a thing that I'm late for. 284 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,329 I-I know I was kinda pestering you before. 285 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:12,498 I'm sorry about that. Forget it. 286 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,866 Oh. 287 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,702 You know-you know, I did the stupidest thing the other day. 288 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,938 You kept badgering me to confide in you? 289 00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:22,575 Not badgering, pestering. And, no, it was dumber than that. 290 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:26,812 I put oil in the place where the windshield wiper fluid goes. 291 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,447 I know. 292 00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,286 Sorry about that. 293 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,555 Oh, yeah. Again, sorry about that. 294 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:39,325 Anyway, in the spirit of me having done something 295 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:42,228 embarrassing, is there anything you wanna tell me? 296 00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:48,634 Is it true that Karen pays more to have her shirts cleaned 297 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,569 Yeah. 298 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,238 And that's fine with you? 299 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,273 It seems only natural. 300 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,709 Natural? Pig! 301 00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:01,013 I call you a pig because you're a chauvinist, 302 00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:02,515 not because you're a cop. 303 00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:03,849 Pig. 304 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,756 Three feet, Jackass. 305 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,826 You wouldn't even get bronze. 306 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:24,103 Hey. 307 00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:25,638 I almost forgot. 308 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:28,574 Who wants to go for a ride in my new car? 309 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,277 You bought a new car, with your credit card? 310 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,279 No, I rented one, 311 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,114 (loudly) with my credit card. 312 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:36,916 Uh? Uh? 313 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,584 Wanda's not here. 314 00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,085 Huh? Oh. 315 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,788 Forget it. 316 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,293 What was that about, calling me a chauvinist? 317 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:51,096 Why should Karen pay big bucks for clean shirts and you don't? 318 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,798 It's not big bucks. 319 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,100 She pays me like five dollars a load. 320 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,670 You? I'm confused. 321 00:13:57,803 --> 00:14:00,072 I'm still angry, but I'm also confused. 322 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,908 Karen pays me to do her laundry at my house. 323 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,944 I like doing laundry. It's relaxing. 324 00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,912 So what's this about? 325 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,281 I got turned down for a credit card. 326 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:12,117 It could be identify theft. Fastest growing form of crime. 327 00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:13,819 You could be the victim here. 328 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,621 Really? 329 00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:18,123 Yeah, I'm the victim. 330 00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,925 Thanks, Davis. 331 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,961 Would you do my laundry? 332 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:25,464 OSCAR (yelling): How is this sit-ups? Get back here, Davis! 333 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,199 Gotta go. 334 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,335 Hustle, hustle, hustle! 335 00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,643 Hi, Lacey. 336 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,079 Hey, Karen. 337 00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:43,983 Did I ever tell you about the time my ex-fiancé came to town 338 00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:47,853 and I poured gravy on a piece of apple pie? 339 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:53,092 That sure was an embarrassing moment, 340 00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:55,694 that happened to me. 341 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,664 And this is another one. 342 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:02,334 HANK: Hey, there you are. 343 00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,971 I, uh, rented a car on my new credit card. 344 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,673 Huh? (chuckles) 345 00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:14,079 It was better the first time I did it. 346 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:15,581 I had the timing down. 347 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,717 It wasn't good this time. Let me just try that again. 348 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:19,752 Don't bother. 349 00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,921 The reason I didn't get a credit card 350 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,023 is because I had my identity stolen. 351 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,892 Really? That is so cool. What's it like? 352 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:29,128 Do you experience what the person that stole 353 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,764 your identity experiences? 354 00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,899 Well, if they're somewhere talking to a moron, 355 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,035 then, yeah, I'm pickin' up that vibe. 356 00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:38,037 You should check your credit report online. 357 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,939 It cost me 30 bucks. 358 00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:42,908 But, uh... 359 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:46,178 I just put it on my credit card. 360 00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:50,382 Now you come after me? Where were you with the car thing? 361 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,557 Shuttle run. 362 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,926 I don't understand the point of this. 363 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,195 Quit yakkin'. You're on the clock. 364 00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:05,931 But, seriously, when am I ever gonna use this skill? 365 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:09,034 This isn't about usefulness. It's about doin' a job right. 366 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,736 Well, I quit. 367 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,205 Fine. 368 00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:15,607 I quit too. 369 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,510 And you're not gettin' your 20 bucks back. 370 00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,112 If you want me, 371 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,948 I'll be at home hangin' around the house. 372 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,651 (timer buttons beeping) 373 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,553 Don't you have anything better to do? 374 00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,955 Nope. Go again. 375 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,462 All right. 376 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,064 I need to confide in somebody about something. 377 00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:40,666 I'm listening. 378 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,469 Brent and Lacey won't leave me alone. 379 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:45,471 Neither will Oscar. 380 00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,573 I have a plan. 381 00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:52,077 What are these? 382 00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,313 They're Davis's Hardy Boys books. 383 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,316 You hold them as ransom until Davis goes back into training. 384 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,817 Okay. 385 00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:00,586 Hey, isn't ransom illegal? 386 00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:03,689 The shuttle run n is a cruel mistress, Oscar. 387 00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,424 Ain't that the truth. 388 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,292 You took my Hardy Boys books. 389 00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,495 Yeah. If you want to see them alive, 390 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,230 you're gonna do the shuttle run. 391 00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:15,501 You stole from a cop. Aww. Go tell Brent or Lacey. 392 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:20,305 Hey, that computer is for work related activities, 393 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:23,675 and solitaire, and occasionally minesweeper. 394 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,677 I'm buying my credit report online. 395 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,546 I'm gettin' to the bottom of this. 396 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,549 Don't you need a credit card to pay for that? 397 00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,485 I borrowed Hank's. Ah-ha, here it is. 398 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,021 So who stole your identity? Probably that Bourne guy. 399 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,823 That's his thing. 400 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,858 Here's the problem. 401 00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:43,662 I got ratted on by some company named... 402 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:47,499 Corner Gas. 403 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:51,870 It seems I've been a little slack in returning my movies. 404 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:54,773 Those pitiless bastards. 405 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,042 So how's the contest going? 406 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,045 Oh, come on. 407 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,748 I know what you and Brent have going on. 408 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:03,749 You do? 409 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:07,052 Just between you and me, 410 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,721 I think you're the better confidante. 411 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,356 Just don't tell Brent. 412 00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:13,859 Oh. Really? 413 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:16,195 No, no, of course not. 414 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,701 50 sit-ups in 60 seconds. Well done. 415 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:25,771 Let's move on to the flexed arm hang. 416 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,073 (grunting) 417 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:31,376 Okay, I'm going to take the chair away now. 418 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,579 I'm ready. 419 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,985 I know you and Lacey are doing this silly contest. 420 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,621 Who told you, Lacey? Gosh, she's a blabbermouth. 421 00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,356 It doesn't matter. 422 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:48,594 The point is, I think you're the better confidante. 423 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:49,928 Really? 424 00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,097 (whispering) Let's just keep this between ourselves. 425 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,866 Oh, of course. 426 00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,702 You know, Wanda's credit problems, it's her own fault. 427 00:18:56,735 --> 00:19:00,105 She set up a computer system that reported on herself. 428 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,709 I'm sure Wanda appreciates you telling everybody that. 429 00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:06,245 Don't tell her I told you. 430 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:15,354 (breathing hard) That felt good. How did I do? 431 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,257 12.5 seconds, good enough for the gold. 432 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:19,925 All right! 433 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,127 But not enough for the Award of Excellence. 434 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,263 You failed. 435 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,632 So any luck with Karen? 436 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,667 No. You? 437 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,936 No. But never mind, I'm not gonna bother. 438 00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:32,004 Me either. 439 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,307 Yeah. Yeah. 440 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,809 By the way, your mom said I was better. 441 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,778 Yeah? Well, she said I was better. 442 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,313 See? 443 00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:44,283 You both suck. 444 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,361 Really? 445 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,164 Yeah. It was just making me buy things I didn't need. 446 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,033 I mean I wasn't any happier. 447 00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:03,035 Sorry, Hank, you're over your limit 448 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:06,538 and the company told me to destroy the card. 449 00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:10,776 Ah, can I at least keep the little hologram? 450 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,579 That was a Yeah. 451 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,647 Although next time we should pick somebody 452 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,616 who actually Yeah. has a secret. 453 00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:20,018 I wonder what'll happen when Davis finds out 454 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,387 I made that up about the fitness requirements. 455 00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:25,357 Just don't tell Lacey or Brent and you'll be fine. 456 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,725 Hey, Brent. 457 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,394 Your dad's supposed to return my Hardy Boys books. 458 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:30,929 Seen him around? 459 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:31,930 No. 460 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,699 Oh, wait. There he is. 461 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:40,706 (echoing) Noo-oooo! 462 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,708 ( Chariots of Fire theme plays) 463 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,101 10.5 seconds! 464 00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:11,603 An Award of Excellence! Finally! 465 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,905 (Oscar and Davis laughing) 466 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,609 Closed Captioning by 467 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,945 Vertical Sync Closed Captioning Services Inc. 468 00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:22,514 www.verticalsync.com 469 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:27,219 ♪ I don't know the same things you don't know ♪ 470 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:35,227 ♪ I don't know I just don't know ♪ 471 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:42,467 ♪ It's a great big place ♪ 472 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:46,471 ♪ full of nothin' but space ♪ 473 00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:48,473 ♪ and it's my happy place ♪ 474 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:52,144 ♪ I don't know Yes you do ♪ 475 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:56,148 ♪ You just won't admit it ♪ 476 00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:59,651 Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas.com 477 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:05,290 ♪ I don't know ♪ 478 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,160 ♪ I just don't know ♪♪ 34066

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