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1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:04,270
Hey, guys.
2
00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,406
Hey, Hank.
3
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,713
Okay, ya dragged it outta me.
4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,648
I'm a little bummed out.
5
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,150
I was dragging?
6
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,953
I lost my part-time job
delivering papers.
7
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,055
Oh? Why'd they give ya
the boot?
8
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,290
Ah, somethin' about lack
of focus, reliability.
9
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:25,792
It's kinda fuzzy.
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,794
I didn't know they
delivered ThHowler .
11
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:30,330
No, it was one of
those big city ones,
12
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:33,767
The Globe and Post
or The Post and Beam ,
13
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,769
National Stick .
14
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,670
I can't remember.
15
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:40,273
I want you to know,
if you're short on cash,
16
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,008
Lacey's here for ya.
17
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:43,476
I'm glad to help.
18
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,378
Hank, coffee's on Brent.
19
00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:47,747
Thanks, guys. But it's
not about the money.
20
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:51,317
It's that they tossed me over
for some eager 12 year old.
21
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,553
Hank's short on cash and
the paperboy industry
22
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:55,889
is being taken over
by 12 year olds.
23
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,858
What's next, dogs chasing cats,
ham on rye?
24
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,827
I wonder who they got.
25
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,263
That paper route's
gonna fall apart.
26
00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:08,468
Uh, hey, uh, I-I don't
get the paper.
27
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:11,271
Well, ya got one now,
jackass.
28
00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:16,709
♪ You can tell me that
your dog ran away ♪
29
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:20,480
♪ Then tell me that it
took three days ♪
30
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:26,052
♪ I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say ♪
31
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:30,223
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
32
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,660
♪ Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong ♪
33
00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:37,564
♪ And that's why you can
stay so long ♪
34
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:42,535
♪ Where there's not a lot
goin' on ♪♪
35
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,906
You're delivering papers?
36
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,908
Wow, Oscar, I'm feeling
something for you
37
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,743
I've never felt before.
38
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,078
Pride?
39
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,613
Pity.
40
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:56,716
All my life I've wanted
to be a paperboy.
41
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,952
But my parents
discouraged me.
42
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:00,887
Can I be a paperboy?
43
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,956
Anything's possible.
44
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,958
They were hard as hell.
45
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:14,267
Since when have you
wanted to be a paperboy?
46
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,370
morning, every morning?
47
00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:19,839
Damn straight.
48
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,108
Chase your dreams, Oscar.
49
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,780
Hank was right. My paper
was late this morning.
50
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:31,317
Well, you can thank my dadad.
He's your eager 12 year old.
51
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,119
Really? Hah!
52
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,954
That is so sweet.
53
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,825
Sweet and a little bit sad,
mostly sad.
54
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,927
Yeah. We're all very proud.
55
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,829
I've always wanted
to start a paper,
56
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,464
one of those
coffee papers,
57
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,799
you know, the little
two-sided doohickeys
58
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,002
with the tidbits and trivia.
59
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,404
Well, you should do it,
become a doohickey mogul.
60
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,606
Hey, would you do
one of your cartoons,
61
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,308
one of your little doodles?
62
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,809
Doodle for a doohickey.
63
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,978
Maybe you'd become
a famous cartoonist.
64
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,580
Famous?
65
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,048
(a smattering of applause)
66
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:07,554
Well, I'm with the world famous
cartoonist, Brent Leroy.
67
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,356
Tell me, Brent, is this
the best your imagination
68
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:13,493
can come up with, being on
the Vicki Gabereau show?
69
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:16,729
What? I love your show.
But this isn't even my set.
70
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,165
Oh, well, this is
just all in my head.
71
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,401
Uh-huh.
Well, your imagination sucks.
72
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:23,469
I'm gettin' a coffee.
73
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,206
(applause)
74
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,341
Fine, I'm in.
But no media appearances.
75
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,144
Now I have to come up
with a catchy name.
76
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,346
Oh, I'm good at this.
Let me think.
77
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,949
Um, it's news, we're in
The Ruby. Ruby Newsday .
78
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,684
Geez, I am good at this.
79
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,652
Oh, I'm not sure.
80
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,355
No, you don't get it.
Ruby Newsday , like the song.
81
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,890
I get it.
82
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,858
Oh, don't think
I don't get it.
83
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:49,662
Who is more in touch with
the citizens of Dog River?
84
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,865
Me, the lifelong resident,
or you, the interloper.
85
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,901
Interloper?
86
00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:57,337
Trust me, Ruby Newsday
is your winner.
87
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,405
Ruby Newsday ?
88
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,774
What kinda lame
pun is that?
89
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,843
Ah, well, you know Lacey.
90
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:07,080
Anyway, what do ya think
of my first cartoon?
91
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,749
That's pretty funny.
92
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,784
It's not too toothless?
93
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:14,287
It's not without its tooth,
toothful even.
94
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,956
Are you gonna show it to
Karen and Davis first?
95
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,658
Why would I show them first?
96
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:21,261
Doesn't have anything
to do with them.
97
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,630
(Hank chuckling)
98
00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,465
Ah, it's good, huh?
99
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,233
Oh, it's great.
100
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,236
Brent's cartoon is hilarious.
101
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,705
Yeah, I hope Karen and Davis
can take it.
102
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,508
Oh, no. I meant
the trivia section.
103
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:38,278
I did the trivia
Oh.
104
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,780
What do ya think of
the trivia section?
105
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,417
There's a... air of
triviality to it.
106
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,252
Makes ya think, though.
107
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,521
I mean-I mean Brent's
cartoon is funny,
108
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:50,923
but who knew that
Saskatchewan was bigger
109
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,593
than the entire country
of Sweden?
110
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:57,063
So what do you think
of that, Sweden?
111
00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,265
Sure, yeah.
112
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:03,636
I mean, whoa-ooh-ho, yeah.
113
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:04,937
Fine.
114
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,907
You don't like the trivia,
other people do.
115
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,943
Some people like the trivia
betterhan the cartoon.
116
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,945
You wanna put it to the test?
117
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,982
Two tip jars, Brent's cartoon,
Lacey's trivia,
118
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,017
vote with a coin.
119
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,919
And you think
this will work?
120
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:22,055
How do you think
we elect the mayor?
121
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:23,956
Lend me a quarter.
122
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:34,500
Isn't that somethin'.
123
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,169
Not really.
124
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:39,605
It's pretty obvious that
Saskatchewan is bigger
than Sweden.
125
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:44,043
And we're a rectangle,
nature's most perfect shape.
126
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:47,780
Not the trivia.
Look at the cartoon.
127
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:51,351
DAVIS:
"Let's skip these.
They're the day olds."
128
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,320
(chuckling)
Oh, he got you good.
129
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:55,788
Got me?
130
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,623
The day olds?
131
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:00,793
I think he's referring to your
inexperience on the force.
132
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,663
You're a day old.
133
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,599
Interesting.
134
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:10,036
I thought day old was in
reference to you getting old
135
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:13,840
and maybe we should skip you
for someone younger.
136
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:17,210
He also drew funny
cartoon legs on you.
137
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,145
I don't have funny legs.
138
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:22,115
It's right there,
in black and pink.
139
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:34,727
I guess they really
like Brent's cartoon.
140
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:38,398
Ah, there's 50 cents
in the trivia jar.
141
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:42,368
Yeah. I put that in there
to get people started.
142
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,806
Maybe if you made
the trivia more humorous
143
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,041
and drew a picture
to go with it.
144
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,111
There must be like
15, $20 in there.
145
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:55,248
And remove the trivia and
just had the humorous picture,
146
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,216
they'd probably
like it then.
147
00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,386
So all I have to do is ask
people their opinion
148
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,555
and they'll tip a lot.
149
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,525
Oh, and maybe have Brent draw
the humorous trivia picture,
150
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,527
without the trivia.
151
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,061
Huh?
152
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,565
You done already?
153
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:18,571
Can't stand still in
the newspaper business.
154
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,640
They sent me too many.
155
00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:22,942
Waste of the environment.
156
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:24,677
(phone ringing)
157
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,881
Hello?
158
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,150
Oh, hi, Ruth.
159
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,619
You didn't get your paper
this morning?
160
00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:35,688
What a mystery.
161
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:44,497
I work in the service industry.
162
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:49,001
I work at a service station ,
a station of service .
163
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,937
But you don't serve food.
164
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,805
I serve food.
165
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:57,109
Two Whippy-Sticks,
a box of Dingle Pies,
166
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,912
a roll of Gummy Floss.
167
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:02,148
You're saying Gummy Floss
isn't food?
168
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,116
I mean food that's cooked.
169
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,953
So I'm discriminated
against based on heat.
170
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,455
If you want titips,
a good first step
171
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:12,124
might be to spend
working hours at work.
172
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:15,628
Ah, it's a detail.
I'm a big picture person.
173
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,666
You didn't get the
paper either, huh?
174
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:23,202
All right, I'll tell him.
175
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,740
(phone ringing)
176
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,110
(yells)
What?!
177
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:36,482
And here's your change.
(chuckles)
178
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:39,552
Oops. Your money
almost fell in a jar.
179
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,654
Have a super day.
180
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:43,956
Hi. Okay.
181
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:45,625
Whoops.
182
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,360
Did you find everything
you needed?
183
00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,161
Oh, good.
184
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,965
Do you have any questions, uh,
about our, uh, fine products?
185
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,500
No, I'm good.
186
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,269
Super. Great.
187
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,671
Have a super day.
(chuckles)
188
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:07,213
Boo.
189
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,814
Can I help you
find anything?
190
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,817
Just browsing. I'm fine.
191
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,420
And were you happy with
the service here today?
192
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,522
Sure, whatever.
193
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,491
Good, super.
194
00:09:20,192 --> 00:09:23,262
Have a super day.
195
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,798
Oh, let me help you
with the door.
196
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,070
Hey, I was watchin' that.
197
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,905
The phone's been ringing
off the hook
198
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:34,907
from people who didn't
get their papers.
199
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,209
I don't know how
they got our number.
200
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:38,978
You have to make this right.
201
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,180
Mrs. Garvey found
her paper in a tree.
202
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:44,216
It's her fault for puttin'
a tree in the yard.
203
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,752
A newspaper trap.
The town's full of them.
204
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,322
(honking)
205
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,760
Who threw that?!
206
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,529
Go finish the job.
207
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:57,930
But I wanna watch TV.
208
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:01,601
No more TV until you
finish your paper route.
209
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,736
No fair.
210
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,574
Okay, this is skin
off my nose now.
211
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,585
Thanks.
212
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,253
Super!
213
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,256
And if you enjoyed your
Corner Gas experience,
214
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,525
please feel free to--
215
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,432
If you wanna get tips,
try bein' less spooky.
216
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,235
Maybe I'll try
being less worky.
217
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,272
Explain this.
218
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,708
It's a coffee shop newspaper.
219
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:47,246
Officer, uh, you-you read it
as you would a newspaper
220
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:49,515
while you're having coffee...
221
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,485
in a shop.
222
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:55,588
And do you find this funny?
I'm not old.
223
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:57,556
And I'll tell you
what's not funny.
224
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,458
My legs.
225
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,160
Let's go.
226
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:04,764
My legs aren't funny and
you're not funny either!
227
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:09,735
(imitating Brent)
"Why would I
show them first?"
228
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,974
Thanks. And we have
a new survey today.
229
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,577
A mighty oak or a
gracefully willow?
230
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,446
Oh, come on.
231
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,848
It's worth a quarter
to find out, isn't it?
232
00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:26,085
I know it looks easy to write
these tipping jar things,
233
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,320
but a lot of thought
goes into it.
234
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,990
Now, I could help ya out
if you want.
235
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,092
(snaps fingers)
Maybe everyone's into maple.
236
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,997
Oh, hey, Oscar, I didn't get
my newspaper this morning.
237
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,332
What the hell is this?
238
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:43,135
Okay, look, Ruby Newsday.
It's a simple pun.
239
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,471
I'm sorry if people don't--
It's not that.
240
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:47,473
This cartoon.
I'm a paperboy now.
241
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,409
Wait till my employer
finds out that my own son
242
00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:55,147
is workin' for
a rival paper.
243
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:58,517
You're takin' food outta my
mouth. I need to feed my family.
244
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,319
He is your family.
245
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,388
You're takin' the food
outta your own mouth.
246
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:03,989
It's a free newsletter.
247
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,025
People are gonna stop
readin' my newspaper
248
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,626
because this one's free.
249
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,595
It's also not stuck
in the eavestrough.
250
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:11,130
This is war.
251
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:15,367
I'm gonna canvas for new
subscriptions and wipe you out!
252
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,837
Yeah, that's the best plan.
253
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,005
But I already subscribe
to the paper.
254
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,341
Well, except these days
I never get it.
255
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,376
Then sign up again,
double your chances.
256
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,215
What's wrong with trees?
257
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:32,084
Dogs pee on 'em,
they get sap on your clothes,
258
00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:33,652
you gotta rake up
their leaves,
259
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,622
they don't make any sound
when they fall in the forest.
260
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:38,124
No one trusts them.
261
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,393
Did you fall out of one,
maybe at an early age?
262
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,130
Let's not make this personal.
Trees suck, is all.
263
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,731
You need somethin' simple,
264
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,033
so people won't have
to think too much.
265
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,568
Betty or Veronica?
266
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:52,872
I can't believe I let
you talk me into this.
267
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,209
(coin dropping)
268
00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,079
HANK:
What can I say?
I do a good jar.
269
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,415
So you wanna get
the paper or what?
270
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,651
I heard the delivery
was terrible.
271
00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:07,186
Oh, that's the old guy.
272
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,421
There was an older guy
delivering the paper?
273
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:13,893
Fine, but there's a rival paper
in town that wants to crush us.
274
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,594
Lacey's newsletter?
275
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,963
Even Brent's workin' for
them now, my own son.
276
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,900
Do you know how long I've been
workin' for this newspaper?
277
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,401
A week?
278
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,803
Almost.
279
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,938
Then he turns around
and does this.
280
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,207
How ya doin', Legs?
281
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,176
Legs?
282
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:36,115
Just adding a little something
to augment my tips.
283
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,451
I said tips .
284
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,619
Oh.
285
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,421
I mean, yeah, I know.
286
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:44,256
I'm sure glad I
thought of this.
287
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,625
Yeah, just like
Lacey thought of it.
288
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:50,129
Oh, save your biting wit
for your hurtful cartoons.
289
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,498
I mean the basic concept's
the same,
290
00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:56,936
but her questions are, frankly,
a little pedestrian.
291
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,704
Mine...
292
00:13:58,737 --> 00:14:01,941
are more stimulating.
293
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:03,876
Free will versus
determinism.
294
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:06,979
Yeah, that's got party
written all over it.
295
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:10,482
Don't underestimate
people's intelligence.
296
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,219
Free Will.
297
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:15,221
Love that movie.
298
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,257
When the whale got away,
I cried.
299
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,662
Twenty dollars for Betty
and 22.50 for Veronica.
300
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,164
Pretty good, huh?
301
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,499
If you don't mind
pandering to the masses.
302
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:31,270
Well, it's all in the question,
which when you think about it,
303
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:33,706
means I really should
get a piece of this.
304
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,809
Why should I pay you?
These tips are for my service.
305
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,745
Can I get a coffee?
In a sec.
306
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:42,681
Come on, Betty or Veronica?
307
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,316
Anyone can think of that.
308
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:47,586
This is what I'm saying.
You don't need Hank.
309
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:50,189
Yeah? Well, I don't need this.
I quit.
310
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:52,024
You're quitting a job
you never had.
311
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:56,328
It's finally sinkin' in, isn't.
312
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,230
Thank you for
stickin' up for me.
313
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,532
I got your back, Sister.
314
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:09,708
Hey, uh, you wanna come write
tip jar questions for me?
315
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,344
Maybe.
316
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:14,546
But I want a fifth
of all profits.
317
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,716
I'll do ya one better,
10 percent.
318
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:19,718
(scoffs)
Ten percent.
319
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:22,187
Hey, that's like double
what I asked for.
320
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,989
Thanks, Wanda.
That's really nice.
321
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,725
Yeah, well, I am in
the service industry. Huh?
322
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,596
Hey.
323
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:32,598
I need another cartoon.
324
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,333
I'm gettin' requests
from all over.
325
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:37,369
I don't think Karen
and Davis liked it too much.
326
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:40,372
Yeah, well, can ya blame them?
I almost didn't run it.
327
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:44,743
How is a cartoon about day-old
babies making fun of the police?
328
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:47,713
What's usually day old?
329
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,481
Babies?
330
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,350
Oh, donuts.
331
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,585
And what do stereotypical
police eat?
332
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,054
Donuts. But--
333
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,390
You are so out of touch with
the pulse of the community.
334
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,859
And I, for once,
am in touch with it.
335
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,762
I, the interloper, could
clearly see that that cartoon
336
00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:06,398
was making fun of Karen and
Davis and you couldn't.
337
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:07,766
Ah-ha!
338
00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:09,568
Oh, this is great.
339
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:12,438
All hail the interloper. Whoo!
340
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:13,973
Interloper.
341
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,175
That word is so last week.
342
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:19,611
If you were really in touch with
the pulse, you'd know that.
343
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:31,390
Your dream, my nightmare.
344
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,592
I'll deliver the papers.
345
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,494
Watch out for trees.
346
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,296
Ah-choo!
347
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,631
You're-you're mad
at this one too?
348
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,900
How is this cartoon
making fun of you?
349
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,269
Two explorers lost at
the South Pole,
350
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:47,039
"Well, which way did you
think is north?"
351
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,608
Be my guest.
352
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,377
They're both wearing
the same clothing,
353
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,445
deducing that they're
wearing uniforms,
354
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,280
much like we wear every day.
355
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,249
That's not deducing.
That would be implying.
356
00:16:57,282 --> 00:16:58,751
So you admit it?
357
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,153
And I suppose them looking
at a map signifies
358
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:04,390
that you both lack direction and
your careers are headin' south?
359
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,358
I hadn't looked at it that way.
360
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,028
We thought you meant
we were cold people,
361
00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:10,629
but that works too.
362
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,131
We're still mad at this.
363
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:15,067
And why do you have it in
for Lacey?
364
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:19,338
If you thought my polls
were a stupid waste of time,
365
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,407
why didn't you say so?
366
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,408
What?
367
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:25,010
Polls, South Pole?
368
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,046
Roasting me in
my own newsletter.
369
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,547
Brent, real nice.
370
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,516
Well, then, why
did you run it?
371
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,217
Because I didn't get it,
372
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,119
until Legs, here,
explained it to me.
373
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,788
Hey.
374
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,757
Good morning.
375
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:42,761
She's worse than
the old guy.
376
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,765
I can't believe
Brent roasted me,
377
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,334
and after I gave him
his big break.
378
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,537
That two-faced weasel.
379
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:54,339
Hey, Wanda, I got your
new tip jar question.
380
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,775
You stole my question guy?
381
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,478
You two were Splitsville.
382
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:00,546
Oh.
383
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:03,382
Look, I'm just using him.
384
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,851
It doesn't mean anything.
385
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,486
This question's gold.
386
00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:09,455
"Who's the better
vampire slayer?" huh,
387
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:12,458
"TV Buffy or
Movie Buffy?" huh?
388
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,060
First Brent makes fun of me
in my own paper
389
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,829
and then you poach Hank.
390
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,764
You gas station people.
391
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,934
Ah, service station people.
392
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:27,005
The Paper just called.
393
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,574
You're fired.
394
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,143
Good. I never liked that job.
395
00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:33,512
I thought it was
your childhood dream.
396
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,981
That wasn't my childhood dream.
397
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,383
I want a Red Bolt wagon.
398
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,652
Well, you could get a job,
deliver papers.
399
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,454
It's a lot of work.
400
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,389
I don't like work.
401
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:46,825
Without doing work,
can I be a paperboy?
402
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,861
Anything's possible.
403
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:52,030
I never wanted to be a paperboy.
I wanted that red wagon.
404
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:55,200
But now I'm an adult, I
can just go buy the wagon.
405
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,136
I can't believe I made
myself miserable
406
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:00,672
(sneezes)
Oh.
407
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:04,409
I think I caught something while
I was out doing your route.
408
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,512
Well, don't give it to me.
409
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:18,157
Hey, that's the same
question I gave Wanda.
410
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,625
Hmm.
411
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,528
Actually, her question is, "Who
is the better vampire slayer?"
412
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,696
My question asks, "Who's
better at battling them
413
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,298
before they're slain?"
414
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,033
Ah, much, much
more different.
415
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:29,535
That's not fair.
416
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,203
She steals you,
417
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,438
I steal questions.
418
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,008
Yeah, but she paid me
for my services.
419
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,443
I'm in the service industry.
420
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,480
Oh, hey, guys.
421
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,582
In the interests of
keeping the peace,
422
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,952
I've drawn a new cartoon that I
think will make everybody happy.
423
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:49,054
DAVIS:
"Dog River's finest"?
424
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,190
LACEY:
"Lacey's Food for Thought."
425
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:52,891
That's sweet.
426
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,562
It's not really funny,
but it's sweet.
427
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,630
There's no pleasing you people.
428
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:01,733
Humour isn't about making
people happy, Brent.
429
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,935
Yeah.
430
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,703
It's about finding
people's weaknesses
431
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,472
and attacking them, rubbing
salt into an open wound,
432
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,441
relentlessly crushing
their self worth
433
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,710
until there's nothing left.
434
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,580
Anyhoo, no more cartoons for me.
435
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:20,953
Hey, do you need someone
to deliver these?
436
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:35,334
One sentence into the
conversation ya lost me.
437
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,970
When I was a kid it
was worth 12 bucks.
438
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,605
Now it's a collector's item.
439
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:43,275
It's worth 6,000 bucks.
I still can't afford it.
440
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,278
Again, nothing.
441
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:49,615
LACEY:
See, the people of Dog River
have spoken.
442
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,617
I am neither mean
443
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,418
nor shameful.
444
00:20:58,156 --> 00:20:59,791
(coins jangling)
445
00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:05,530
A lotta tips there.
446
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,432
The people have spoken.
447
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,935
But don't feel too bad.
448
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,305
Gummy Floss?
449
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,476
Closed Captioning by
450
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,811
Vertical Sync
Closed Captioning Services Inc.
451
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,347
www.verticalsync.com
452
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:26,952
♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪
453
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:34,960
♪ I don't know
I just don't know ♪
454
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:42,334
♪ It's a great big place ♪
455
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:46,338
♪ full of nothin' but space ♪
456
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,340
♪ and it's my happy place ♪
457
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,977
♪ I don't know
Yes you do ♪
458
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,981
♪ You just won't admit it ♪
459
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:59,484
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas.com
460
00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:05,190
♪ I don't know ♪
461
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,993
♪ I just don't know ♪♪
32975
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