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1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,738
No way! Darryl Sittler!
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,240
A Darryl Sittler rookie card
in mint condition!
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,209
It's gotta be
worth a fortune!
4
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,411
It pays to clean up
the basement.
5
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:14,714
Buncha old junk sittin'
around the house for years
collectin' dust.
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,750
Look who's talking. Huh?
7
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:19,619
Oh, Brent, look!
8
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,255
Baby pictures.
You were so cute.
9
00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:26,593
I had a big round head, thin
hair. I haven't changed a bit.
10
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,262
You meant I'm an
old piece of junk--
11
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,264
We've moved on, Dad.
12
00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:35,268
How come I never see any
old wedding photos of you two.
13
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,303
Uh--
Well, um--
14
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:39,272
You didn't know?
Know what?
15
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,975
Your father and I, um--
Uh, it's just that--
16
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,744
The-the thing is, uh--
We never actually got married.
17
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,746
What?
18
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,248
Look, Brent.
19
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,950
It-it-it was a-it
was a different time.
20
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,020
Your father I were-were
young and we could hardly
21
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:56,322
keep our hands off each
other and--
22
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:59,259
Okay, okay.
I'm instantly
repressing that.
23
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:05,031
♪ You can tell me that
your dog ran away ♪
24
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:08,601
♪ Then tell me that it
took three days ♪
25
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:14,007
♪ I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say ♪
26
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:17,677
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
27
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:21,848
♪ Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong ♪
28
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:25,518
♪ And that's why you can
stay so long ♪
29
00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:29,255
♪ Where there's not a lot
goin' on ♪
30
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,858
No way, Brent!
You gotta be kiddin' me!
31
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:33,593
It's amazing, but true.
32
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,662
I am shocked!
33
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,297
A Darryl Stiller
rookie card?
34
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,898
That's worth
a fortune!
35
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,433
Yeah.
36
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:44,270
Oh, and I also found out
my parents were never married.
37
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,707
Really? That's also interesting.
Can I see the hockey card?
38
00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:50,243
Oscar and Emma
were never married?
39
00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:52,011
Apparently.
40
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,780
Wow.
41
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,915
You're actually a bastard.
42
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:59,352
I guess I am, although
I prefer the term "love child."
43
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,421
Hey, wait a minute.
44
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,224
Didn't this used to be
my hockey card?
45
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:07,527
Yeah, I lost that whole pack
to you playin' Knuckles.
46
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:12,031
So you admit you lost it
fairly in a legally binding
schoolyard game?
47
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:15,468
Well, yeah.
I'm just like- Yoink!
48
00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:18,037
It doesn't really seem fair.
49
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,473
What do you expect?
He's a bastard.
50
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,575
Love child!
51
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,713
Stupid ketchup.
52
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,248
What?
53
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,316
What, what?
54
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,052
I was gonna let it slide,
but I'm curious.
55
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,721
How is ketchup stupid?
56
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,589
It's spelled wrong.
"Catsup." Hah!
57
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:39,092
Hell of a way to
run a railroad.
58
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:42,061
You can spell it that way.
It's an option.
59
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,897
It's a wrong option.
60
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,267
Ketchup with K or catsup
is a legitimate option.
61
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,135
Who says "catsup"?
62
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,638
Who argues with
condiments?
63
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,741
Cat-sup.
64
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:58,044
Cat-sssssup!
65
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,384
Cat-shup!
66
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,386
It's beyond me.
67
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,123
Guess what?
68
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,958
Brent is a bastard.
69
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,961
Oh. No, he can be inconsiderate
sometimes, but--
70
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,863
No. I mean a literal bastard.
71
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,765
Oscar and Emma
were never married.
72
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,733
No. Where did you hear that?
73
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:24,037
You know, sometimes you
jump to wild conclusions.
74
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,039
Oscar can't read.
What?
75
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,541
I saw him sounding out
a ketchup bottle.
76
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,577
He might be
functionally illiterate.
77
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,879
He's not illiterate.
He's barely functional.
78
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,847
He's non-functionally
literate.
79
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,349
Think about it.
80
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,751
Oscar's quick temper, his
crankiness, could all be
81
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:40,920
a defence mechanism to
mask his illiteracy.
82
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,924
Or he could be quick
tempered and cranky.
83
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:47,160
Or you could just
be enabling him.
84
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,696
You need more evidence
than a ketchup bottle.
85
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,332
That's good advice.
Thanks for your help, Wanda.
86
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,133
I'm not helping you.
87
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:56,069
I'm enabling you.
88
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,474
Is Knuckles
legally binding?
89
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,743
I don't understand
that sentence.
90
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,145
You know, the game,
Knuckles.
91
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,948
You put your knuckles
together like this, right,
92
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:11,050
and then you--Ow!
93
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,852
I know Knuckles.
94
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,754
Well, is it
legally binding?
95
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,956
Any game has rules.
96
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:20,059
If those rules are broken,
you could have an argument.
97
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,228
What happened exactly?
Show me.
98
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:25,665
Okay. We had our knuckles
together like this, right?
99
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,737
You suck at Knuckles.
100
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,439
You weren't playin' fair.
101
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:39,045
Hey. Wanda thinks
you're a bastard.
102
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:41,214
It's true.
Really? I am a bastard.
103
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,549
Your parents were
never married?
104
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,451
Well, I don't mean
I'm inconsiderate.
105
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:48,154
And you just found out now?
106
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,756
How are you holdin' up?
107
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,457
Well, at first I--
108
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:54,093
Oh, I've got a great idea.
109
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:57,363
I'm not gonna have a big
wedding for Mom and Dad.
110
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:02,235
No. You should get a
t-shirt made up that says,
"I'm a bastard."
111
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,504
Oh. Well, now you're talkin'.
112
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:09,075
A wedding shouldn't get too big,
100, 150 people, tops.
113
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,477
After all, it's
Oscar and Emma's day.
114
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,647
Well, it's really not their day,
it's their friends' day.
115
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,983
But they should
have a say.
116
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,756
This should be mine.
117
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,893
I should be taller.
But what are ya gonna do?
118
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,062
I'll play you, again.
Double or nothin'.
119
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,697
Why would I do that?
120
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,866
It wasn't fair. My hands
were like this, right? And--
121
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,368
Doh!
122
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,936
You owe me
another Sittler.
123
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,638
Ungh!
124
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,775
Come on. It could be beautiful.
125
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,277
No, Davis.
126
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:47,080
I'd take care
of everything,
music, catering.
127
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,049
We could make an
arch out of daisies.
128
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,353
You'll never get me under
those death traps.
129
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,722
There's not going
to be a wedding.
130
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,190
Why not?
131
00:05:57,323 --> 00:06:00,059
Would you marry Oscar?
132
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,862
Look, it's none of
my business,
133
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,198
but Brent's really
broken up over this.
134
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,133
Really?
135
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,936
His whole world shattered.
136
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,904
Hee, hee, hee. Ungh!
137
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,973
Hee, hee, hee. Ungh!
138
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,641
He'll get over it.
139
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,978
All right, fine.
It's your decision.
140
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,047
It's a shame, though,
cheating yourself
141
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,316
out of all those
wedding gifts,
142
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:27,086
a toaster,
bread maker,
power drill.
143
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,525
Everybody,
144
00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:36,295
Oscar and Emma
are gettin' married!
145
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,265
Ow! Hah-hah!
146
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,501
Hah, ha, ha, ha.
147
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:49,509
Hey, Oscar.
How are the wedding plans?
148
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,477
I'm stayin' out of it.
149
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,580
Emma's the one who is excited.
You know, women.
150
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,583
Now, obviously, the real
cake will be much bigger.
151
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,685
The little plastic
bride is wearing white,
152
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:01,687
but we'll tackle
that one later.
153
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:04,190
Now I'm gonna raise
a touchy subject.
154
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,559
Chocolate fondue.
155
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:11,297
Now I know it can be tacky,
but I think, with the number--
156
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:13,966
Emma?
157
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,169
Well, hurry back!
158
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,205
We have to meet the
confetti guy at 3:00.
159
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,474
That's great.
Oscar, did you drop this?
160
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,009
What's this?
161
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,311
It says "The Happy
Little Train."
162
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:29,615
The... Happy... Little... Train.
163
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,251
Oh. It's not mine.
164
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:33,753
Some kid's book.
165
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,856
One of these trains
has a moustache.
166
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,958
Yeah. The pictures are nice.
167
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:42,728
Why don't you read the book
and later we'll talk about it.
168
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:44,897
Oh! A moustache on a train.
169
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,766
Yeah.
170
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,902
So how ya treatin'
my hockey card?
171
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,504
It's my hockey card.
172
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:54,006
Besides, you owe me
300 Darryl Sittlers now.
173
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,342
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll get ya later.
174
00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:58,611
But that hockey
card is mine.
175
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,948
Do you remember when
we played that game? Huh?
176
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:03,583
We were eight years old.
177
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:11,624
Who are those kids?
I don't know.
178
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,559
You were saying?
Oh, right.
179
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:16,062
I want my hockey
card back.
180
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:26,906
Keep trying, Oscar.
181
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:28,708
You can do it.
182
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:34,413
I just don't know how you
can hold onto something
183
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:36,382
that isn't
rightfully yours.
184
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:40,786
h. You seem fine hanging
onto that 20 bucks I lent ya,
185
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,122
a year and a half ago.
186
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:45,658
You're ignoring the spirit
of the game, Brent.
187
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:48,661
I never flinched. I winced.
188
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,630
A wince is just a wince.
189
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,632
A sigh is just a sigh.
190
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,133
What?
191
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,002
Look, give me
a break, Hank.
192
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,305
I have to throw a stag party
for a 63-year-old man,
193
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,907
who's my father.
194
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,675
I know.
195
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,978
I'm saying there's a difference
between a wince and flinch.
196
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:07,480
What's the difference?
197
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,549
I'll show you. Don't.
198
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,684
Okay, this is a--ooaaah!
199
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,386
Mmmph!
200
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,888
You suck at Knuckles.
201
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,192
So Davis can't come
to this thing?
202
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,595
No. Mom said he
fell asleep hemming.
203
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,334
Listen,
204
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,836
if we are gonna do this wedding,
205
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,973
I'd be proud if you'd be
my best man.
206
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,042
Aw, geez, Dad.
I'd love to.
207
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,543
Thank you, Son.
208
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:39,779
But I can't.
I'm givin' Mom away.
209
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,614
You're useless.
210
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,085
Gee, we almost had
a moment there.
211
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,556
What a nice surprise.
212
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:54,060
But you guys really didn't
have to throw me a stagette.
213
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,596
Really?
Lacey said
we had to.
214
00:09:56,729 --> 00:10:00,066
And we want to.
It's nice.
215
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:04,070
Yeah, it's good to get away
from Hank whining about
that hockey card.
216
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,439
Yeah. But Hank might
actually have an argument.
217
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:09,241
What argument? He lost it in
a legitimate competition.
218
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,110
How is Knuckles
legitimate?
219
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,379
I'll get it.
220
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:16,248
Oh. And the hockey card debate
was getting interesting.
221
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,751
I'm glad you guys
kept this low key.
222
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:22,088
Sometimes these things can get
out of hand and vulgar.
223
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:35,468
More pastry, Emma?
224
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,437
It's hot in here. Ooh!
225
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,549
Lighten up.
226
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,854
This is a stag and you all look
like you're mad at each other.
227
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,389
Nah. I'm not.
228
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,890
I am.
229
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,358
Dad's mad at me.
230
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,861
These two are mad over
that stupid card.
231
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,362
It's not stupid.
232
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,865
Are Oscar and Hank
mad at each other?
233
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,501
Geez, I'm not sure.
Are you guys?
234
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,573
No. No, we're good.
235
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,009
All right, then.
Party on.
236
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,947
Wanna play
Knuckles?
237
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,517
I'm gettin' drunk.
238
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,922
By definition, flinch
and wince are both
239
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,857
involuntary muscle contractions.
240
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,626
They're two
different things!
241
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:36,595
No. In Solomon versus Alexin,
the Supreme Court ruled
242
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,397
that any specific
motor function--
243
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,266
I don't care about court.
244
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:43,669
I am talkin' about how it
goes down in the street!
245
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,771
What do you think?
246
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,675
Both arguments have merit.
247
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:54,680
Hey!
248
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,549
Does that train
have a moustache?
249
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,017
Yeah.
250
00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:00,052
And this one's
wearin' glasses.
251
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,054
That's delightful.
252
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,057
Ah, you don't know what
you're givin' up, Oscar.
253
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,293
The single life,
stayin' out late,
254
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:08,928
sitting alone at the bar.
255
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:12,198
Single life? Me and Emma have
been together for 35 years.
256
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:15,568
You've been playin' house, but
it's not the same as marriage.
257
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,470
Trust me. I've been there.
258
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:20,072
Yeah. I forgot
you had a wife.
259
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:24,143
Hm, used to have a wife,
and a house.
260
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,345
Shoulda got a pre-nup.
261
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,748
It's important to put
things in writing.
262
00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:35,855
I need your help.
You do?
263
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,890
Oh, yes.
264
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,892
Yes, that's good.
265
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,827
I'd be happy
to help, Oscar.
266
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:44,964
I think I'd be more
comfortable if I was able
267
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:47,466
to put things in writing.
268
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:49,735
Oh. I knew it.
269
00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:52,705
Oscar, I am behind
you all the way.
270
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,673
Oh, that's great to hear.
271
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,543
Lacey says we should
get a pre-nup.
272
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,779
What?
273
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,680
You ungrateful--
274
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,650
Now, hey, hey.
Just wait a minute. Aaaooh!
275
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:08,821
What happened?
276
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:17,096
Why do we need a wedding
rehearsal anyway?
277
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:20,466
It's a longstanding wedding
tradition, like drunken uncles.
278
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:23,135
It probably goes back
to the Victorians.
279
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,237
Did they invent that
Chicken Dance too?
280
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:27,973
That was the Spanish
Inquisition. Oh.
281
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,576
What are they rehearsing?
282
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:35,481
They get married, we watch.
It doesn't take a lotta skill.
283
00:13:35,614 --> 00:13:39,151
Not like, say, uh, scoring a
goal against Czechoslovakia
284
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,190
You're not gettin'
the hockey card.
285
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,826
But that's the entire
point of the game,
286
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,727
to make your
opponent flinch.
287
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,429
I know the law, Wanda.
288
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,531
That hockey card
belongs to Hank.
289
00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:55,734
You figure you know the
law because you're a cop,
290
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,137
in Dog River?
291
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:00,339
I also watch
Law and Order !
292
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,374
You pushed me.
You fell.
293
00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:05,377
You were gonna push me.
Did I ever push you?
294
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,346
Hey, how's the
happy couple?
295
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,881
Oh. You mean us.
296
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,584
What do you care,
Mr. Give Away The Bride?
297
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,686
You know what you
should give away?
298
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,888
I'm not giving you
the hockey card.
299
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:19,625
I'm sorry about the Best Man
thing, but Mom asked first
300
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,894
and, more importantly,
I like her better.
301
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,896
Ya left me
in the lurch.
302
00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:25,531
No one else is available.
303
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,200
I could do it.
Not a single person.
304
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,904
I could be Best Man.
The lurch, that's what I'm in.
305
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,372
Hey.
306
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:34,907
You broke my neck.
307
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,408
What?
308
00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:38,677
This whole stupid
wedding was her idea.
309
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,646
What? How was it my idea?
310
00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,182
Now even Karen and Wanda
are arguing.
311
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,684
The Statute of Limitation
clearly states that the
312
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,821
date of accrual begins
with the discovery of harm.
313
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:51,023
Oh! If somebody stole
my hockey card,
314
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:53,225
he'd discover harm,
all right!
315
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,694
And then after the
champagne waterfall,
316
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,097
we move outdoors
for fireworks.
317
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,332
Well, your friends
certainly are lucky
318
00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:03,035
to have you to help
organize all this.
319
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,570
Yeah. Friends
help friends.
320
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,306
This is a pretty
friendly community.
321
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:21,420
We're a little early.
Wanna grab a coffee?
322
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:31,230
Hank, I've been thinkin' a lot
about this hockey card thing.
323
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,731
Me too.
324
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,233
It's ruining a
good friendship.
325
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:36,168
Karen and Wanda's.
Yeah.
326
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,837
It's all the fault of
that damn hockey card.
327
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,439
Curse you,
Darryl Sittler!
328
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,043
Ow! That's the third
time I've done that.
329
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,512
It's like I've been cursed.
330
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:50,182
We gotta find a way to
make all four of us happy.
331
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,750
Oh, I know.
332
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:55,754
We gotta get three more Darryl
Sittler rookie cards, huh?
333
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:59,692
Good. You're playin' this
simple, yet impossible.
334
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,927
Geez, are we in
the right place?
335
00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:05,064
They've turned it
into gay bar.
336
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,066
Again with the gay bar.
337
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:12,504
Excuse me, everybody.
338
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:16,608
Most of you already know that
Emma and I had a sort of
339
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:20,279
misunderstanding, mostly because
of some bad legal advice.
340
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,880
What?
341
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,084
Well, I take responsibility
for my mistakes.,
342
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:29,188
So I would like to read
something, sort of an apology.
343
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:32,391
No. Oscar, don't
embarrass yourself.
344
00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:35,661
You're right. Why should I
apologize? It's your fault.
345
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,863
Well, that's not
what I meant.
346
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,932
Oscar knows what I mean.
347
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,968
Oscar, Lacey knows?
348
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:44,970
Well, it's pretty
obvious, Emma.
349
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:49,675
Now that it's out in the open,
I guess I'm relieved.
350
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:56,849
Could you tell us
what's goin' on?
351
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:01,387
Maybe Lacey
will tell them.
352
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,622
Well, sure, Oscar,
I'll tell them.
353
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,793
Everyone,
354
00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:10,462
Oscar can't read.
355
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,303
You think that's funny,
that an old man can't read?
356
00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:28,647
Okay. I guess on one level
it is kinda funny. But--
357
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,650
Lacey, Dad can read.
358
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,886
No. No, you're all
just enabling him.
359
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:37,156
I'll prove it to you. Oscar
was gonna read this apology.
360
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:38,957
Well, there's nothing
written on it,
361
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,127
except for "Dear, Emma,
I'm sorry. I love you,"
362
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:46,031
and then it goes on.
Oh, Oscar, you can read.
363
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,067
Of course I can read.
364
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,370
I was wondering about
you, though, with your
Happy Train books.
365
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,838
Oh.
366
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,774
Geez, Lacey, if only
someone had told you.
367
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,243
Well, I made a complete
fool of myself.
368
00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:01,447
I hope they don't write
about this in The Howler .
369
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:05,717
Nah, the big story's
the new Bylaw.
370
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,053
Oh, yeah, that's right.
371
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:11,356
I'd like to say
something, too.
372
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:13,859
First of all, I'd
like to thank Davis.
373
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:18,831
I don't know you managed all
this with the money we gave you.
374
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:22,201
You would think he had
spent half of next year's
375
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,869
police budget
on our wedding.
376
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:29,074
A wedding is wonderful event.
377
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,611
But, as you have seen, it
can also be a swirling,
378
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:35,681
screeching Hell on Earth.
379
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:40,786
Ah, I guess what I'm
saying is that Oscar and I
380
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:46,825
were legally married
35 years ago.
381
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:50,429
Goodbye power drill.
382
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,164
It's a bit embarrassing.
383
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:56,034
We eloped and, for reasons
that are better left unsaid,
384
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,204
we didn't want anyone to know
about the wedding.
385
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:07,713
I think Emma should say
the unsaid reasons.
386
00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:16,955
It was the Sixties.
It was a different time.
387
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,758
Oh, no. It wasn't one of
those hippy weddings?
388
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,127
No. That would be the day.
389
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:25,697
It was...
390
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,000
an Elvis wedding.
391
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:33,305
Well, that's not so bad,
being married by a guy
392
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:36,241
dressed as Elvis.
393
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:38,911
Yeah.
Yeah. The guy was
dressed like Elvis.
394
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:45,083
We vowed we'd never show anyone
those wedding pictures.
395
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,554
That's why we made you all
think we weren't married.
396
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,390
Or you could have said,
"We lost the photos."
397
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:54,259
Mind you, that wouldn't
have been as scarring, emotionally.
398
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:57,729
Oh, don't blame me if you
can't see through a lie.
399
00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:00,532
I'm sorry I panicked
and fibbed.
400
00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:03,735
There's no wedding.
401
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,437
Let's eat.
402
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,407
Pass me
Finally. the butter.
403
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:14,780
I, uh, have to go check
on something in the car.
404
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,454
Okay, I think we have
a deal, here.
405
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,690
Hank gets the card
406
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:28,327
and then he sells it
back to me.
407
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:31,129
I get the satisfaction
of knowing I was right.
408
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,434
And now Hank has the money
to pay back the 20 I lent him,
409
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,469
a year and a half ago.
410
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:39,938
Yeah. Agreed?
411
00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:42,708
Now let's never speak of
Darryl Sittler again.
412
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,313
I feel like
I've been shunned.
413
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,982
Now gimme my money.
414
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,751
Oh, I'll get ya later.
415
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,723
Bastard.
I prefer Son of Elvis.
416
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:05,764
We should have done
this a long time ago.
417
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:08,200
Yep.
418
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,712
Closed Captioning by
419
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:23,048
Vertical Sync
Closed Captioning Services Inc.
420
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,651
www.verticalsync.com
421
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:30,355
♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪
422
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:38,363
♪ I don't know
I just don't know ♪
423
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,604
♪ It's a great big place ♪
424
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:49,608
♪ full of nothin' but space ♪
425
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,576
♪ and it's my happy place ♪
426
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:55,280
♪ I don't know
Yes you do ♪
427
00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:58,583
♪ You just won't admit it ♪
428
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:02,120
♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪
429
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:05,524
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas.com
430
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:08,460
♪ I don't know ♪
431
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,396
♪ I just don't know ♪
31268
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