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1
00:00:00,876 --> 00:00:03,587
Hmm. I think I'm going
to have the beef soo chow.
2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,089
Mmm, I hear that's
marvelous. Oh, Mr. Fong.
3
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:09,468
I am honored to have you in
my humble place, Mr. Stephens...
4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,929
My wife, Samantha.
How do you do?
5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,972
[Mr. Fong] How do you do?
6
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,724
Please sit down.
Thank you.
7
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:19,728
Now, I'm certainly looking forward to
the prospect of handling your advertising.
8
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,896
Yes, let's hope
we can bring that about.
9
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,899
Mr. and Mrs. Tate
should be here any minute.
10
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,527
Good. In the meantime,
I have a surprise.
11
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,949
This is my masterpiece,
12
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,993
and I would like you both
to try it with my compliment.
13
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,995
Oh.
Now we're honored.
14
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:38,580
Please.
15
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:40,958
Thank you.
16
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,751
Mmm!
17
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,297
That's marvelous.
18
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,383
What in the world is in it?
19
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,885
Sorry,
the ingredients are secret.
20
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,845
All but one.
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,682
The Himalayan cinnamon stick
is very rare.
22
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,810
From a remote area
high in the mountains.
23
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,354
I have named my drink
after the stick.
24
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,023
The Heavenly Himalayan.
25
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,026
Night after night,
I stayed here after closing,
26
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:12,281
trying this formula and that,
like a witch over her cauldron.
27
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,035
Well, you certainly came up
with a bewitching drink.
28
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,662
Thank you.
Thank you.
29
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,415
It's, uh, heavenly,
all right.
30
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:24,543
And heady, too,
you might say.
31
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,295
Ooh.
32
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,506
Sam, are you all right?
33
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:33,969
Uh, uh,
I feel a little strange.
34
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,847
The truth is,
I feel a lot strange.
35
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,600
Strange?
Dizzy.
36
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,936
Perhaps madame would
like to lie down in the office.
37
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:47,482
Uh, no. No, I think
we better leave. Oh!
38
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,569
Uh, I am definitely
not well.
39
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,363
Uh, the Himalayan cocktail
is really very mild.
40
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:56,992
Uh, it's never affected any of
my customer like that before.
41
00:01:57,034 --> 00:02:00,454
Well, Sam's not like any of
your other customers, Mr. Fong.
42
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,831
Cauldron, cauldron,
tell me true,
43
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,083
how you stirred up
such a witches' brew.
44
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,793
We do have to go home.
45
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,087
Yes. Yes, and the better,
the sooner.
46
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:12,090
Would you make our excuses
to Mr. and Mrs. Tate? Yes.
47
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,096
Oh, Mr. Stephens,
what's wrong?
48
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,848
I wish I knew.
49
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,601
Where am I?
You're home.
50
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,854
Samantha, what's wrong?
51
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,606
Who's she?
52
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,650
It's your Aunt Hagatha.
53
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:35,656
Oh, so it is.
What's she doing here?
54
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,865
She's sitting for us.
55
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:41,870
No, she's
not. She's standing for us.
56
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,373
Toot, toot.
57
00:02:44,413 --> 00:02:46,750
Mr. Stephens, she's sick.
58
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,835
Oh, I don't understand it.
59
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:52,130
She just had a couple of
sips of a drink and got looped.
60
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:56,802
That's impossible. Witches aren't
subject to such mortal frailties.
61
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,221
Something is
radically wrong.
62
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:02,474
Samantha, should I get
in touch with Dr. Bombay?
63
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,768
That quack?
Absolutely not.
64
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,853
Samantha,
is he always this difficult?
65
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,607
Relax, sweetheart. We may
not need Dr. Bombay after all.
66
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,859
I'm beginning to feel better.
67
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,028
At least
I'm not dizzy anymore.
68
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,032
Do you mind
if I try out my witchcraft?
69
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,786
Whether he minds
or not doesn't matter.
70
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,080
The only thing I mind
is her.
71
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,041
Well, let's see.
72
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:32,087
Uh, lamp, lamp on yonder
table, fly to me if you are able.
73
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,804
Well, now shall I call
Dr. Bombay,
74
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,682
or are you still
in your mortal snit?
75
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,438
- Sam!
- [Hagatha] Great Hector's ghost!
76
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,064
Now what?
77
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,816
Look.
78
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,694
Don't just stand there.
Get Dr. Bombay.
79
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,282
Oh!
80
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,412
And I bet you thought you'd
grown accustomed to my face.
81
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,796
Elizabeth Montgomery in...
82
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,220
Bewitched.
83
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,807
Darrin, uh, before Aunt Hagatha
puts in a call to Dr. Bombay,
84
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,976
uh, wouldn't you like to
go into the den and work?
85
00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:12,354
Or take a nap?
Or something?
86
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,731
No, thanks.
87
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,400
Well, I know Dr. Bombay
isn't one of your favorites.
88
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,112
Among your friends and
relatives, I have no favorites.
89
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,032
I guess everything your
mother says about him is true.
90
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,159
Shh.
91
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,996
Aunt Hagatha, please.
The spell?
92
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,957
Oh, yes, dear.
Yes, yes.
93
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,461
From Tripoli to Timbuktu,
94
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,589
I beg, I plead,
I beseech of you.
95
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,300
A moment longer,
don't delay.
96
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:46,303
Dr. Bombay,
streak this way.
97
00:05:46,303 --> 00:05:48,265
Hi there, you called?
98
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,811
Uh, we called.
We didn't whistle.
99
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,981
Where's Dr. Bombay?
100
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,899
Bom's away.
101
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,318
Bom's away?
102
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:04,281
That's what I call him.
"Bom" for short.
103
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:08,702
What, and I'll be sorry I
asked, does he call you?
104
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:12,163
Often.
He calls me often.
105
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,041
Figures.
106
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,670
Now, look, Miss Often,
when will the doctor be back?
107
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,880
Any minute now.
I left him a message.
108
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:25,135
Now I have to get back.
I'm his receptionist.
109
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:29,723
I'm very receptive.
Bye now.
110
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,475
Where is the doctor,
I wonder?
111
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,770
Probably out in the cosmos,
chasing ambulances.
112
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,899
He may be chasing,
but not ambulances.
113
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,777
Sorry I was detained. I'd been over
at the gym, wrestling with a problem,
114
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,363
how to come to grips
with my new nurse.
115
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:49,618
That's a problem? Not
really. I'll pin her down yet.
116
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,871
Dr. Bombay, we do not find
your personal peccadilloes
117
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,789
the least bit amusing.
118
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,751
Oh! You peeked.
119
00:06:57,791 --> 00:07:01,796
Oh, for Pete's sake, will somebody
talk some sense into this clown?
120
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:05,091
I will. My witchcraft
has gone to pot,
121
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,885
and in case you
haven't noticed,
122
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,971
my face is covered
with red stripes.
123
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,515
Hmm! Interesting.
Very interesting.
124
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,893
Well, doctor, what do
you think the matter is?
125
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,020
Obviously, her witchcraft
has gone to pot,
126
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,939
and she's developed
red stripes.
127
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:22,400
I hoped you could tell me
what disease I have.
128
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,404
Judging by the symptoms, I'd say
you had bright red stripes disease.
129
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,658
Is that serious? Not at
all. Just inconvenient.
130
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,409
It lasts one full year.
131
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,411
Dr. Bombay,
you have to do something.
132
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:36,623
I can't walk around with
these stripes for a year.
133
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,124
The disease
lasts one full year
134
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,001
unless it's cured
within 8 hours.
135
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,754
Perhaps I could find an
antidote if I knew how you got it.
136
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,423
You haven't been mixing eye
of newt with oysters, have you?
137
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,050
No.
A-ha!
138
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,552
Then there's only one other
way you could have got it.
139
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:52,597
Have you been recently on the
western slopes of the Himalayas?
140
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:56,017
Lately, I haven't been any
further than a PTA meeting.
141
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:01,815
The drink. She had a drink
with a Himalayan cinnamon stick.
142
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,566
A-ha! Then that's it.
143
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,404
Eons ago, the Tibetan monks cross-pollinated
a rare herb with Himalayan cinnamon,
144
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,198
and used it to drive the
witches out of the Himalayas.
145
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,034
I didn't know there were
any witches in the Himalayas.
146
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,453
There aren't. It worked.
147
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:18,164
Now, doctor,
about the eight-hour deadline.
148
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,542
Never fear,
Bombay is here.
149
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,335
I shall feed
this information
150
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,755
into my ultra-vascular,
self-denominating powered trichoscope
151
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,551
with, of course, the super-duper
diagnostic predictor attachment.
152
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,851
A-ha!
There is an antidote.
153
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,312
A simple potion. You can
pick it up from your apothecary.
154
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,400
We start with, uh,
eye of condor.
155
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,237
Powdered snakeskin.
156
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,865
Fig newts.
157
00:08:51,905 --> 00:08:54,617
Fig newts? That's the
way the cookie crumbles.
158
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,956
One pint of unicorn milk.
Non-fat.
159
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:03,501
And a toasted cheese sandwich
on rye.
160
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:07,422
Toasted cheese?
That's for me. I'm starved.
161
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,467
Hagatha, have the apothecary
fill out this prescription,
162
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,219
give it to Samantha, and
she'll be as right as rain.
163
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,346
And now,
if you'll excuse me,
164
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,391
I want to try out my new
wrestling mat on my nurse.
165
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:21,519
It's the only one in the
universe with "welcome" on it.
166
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,280
Well, what are you
waiting for?
167
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:36,034
Oh, I refuse to go near
that dirty old druggist.
168
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,453
Uh, but, Samantha,
I'd be glad to zap you there.
169
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:43,249
Thanks a bunch.
170
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,252
Well, maybe my red
stripes will turn him off.
171
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,545
Zap away.
172
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,804
Oh, hi, cutie.
173
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,099
Say, them stripes...
174
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,143
Mmm-mmm!
They really turn me on.
175
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,021
Well, I certainly
called that one.
176
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:09,442
Uh, look, Mr. Druggist, I have a
prescription... Please don't call me that.
177
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:13,488
I'm apothecary
to the entire cosmos.
178
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,323
Excuse me.
179
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,784
Uh, look, Mr. Apothecary,
I have a prescription...
180
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:22,497
Yeah, I started out to be a
friendly neighborhood druggist,
181
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:26,126
but I couldn't find
a friendly neighborhood.
182
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:29,420
I couldn't find a friendly
neighborhood, you get it?
183
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,131
Oh, yes, I get it.
And it's a howler,
184
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,051
but what I really came to get
was this prescription filled.
185
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,761
Well, I got this one
here ahead of you.
186
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,931
But this is an emergency.
187
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,226
Oh, well.
Maybe I can hurry things up
188
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:47,897
if you're willing to consider
this a friendly neighborhood.
189
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,150
Uh, not that friendly.
190
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:55,238
What are you brewing?
It's a love potion, cutie.
191
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,158
Care to share a jigger
or two with me?
192
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,618
Uh, no, thanks.
193
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:04,622
Now, you can have it
straight or with a chaser.
194
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:09,627
What's the chaser?
You're looking at him, cutie.
195
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,559
I need a little potion
of my own, on the rocks.
196
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,148
I wish you'd watch
where you're going.
197
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,317
I wish you'd watch
where you're popping.
198
00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:33,902
No need to get huffy.
199
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,947
I came back because my trusty
computer overlooked one ingredient.
200
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,741
But Sam's already gone
to the apothecary.
201
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:43,453
No matter. The apothecary does
not carry the necessary ingredient.
202
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,828
Why? What is it?
203
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,623
The tail feather
of a dodo bird.
204
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,542
A dodo bird?
Why, they're extinct.
205
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:53,463
Not only that, there haven't been
any around for millions of years.
206
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,215
Well, then
how do you expect us
207
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,883
to get a dodo bird's
tail feather?
208
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,385
How should I know? I'm a
doctor, not a bird-watcher.
209
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:03,640
Though I will say, a bird in the hand
is worth two in the Australian bush.
210
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,440
Take five!
211
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,278
You're too old
for all this exercise.
212
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,865
I know,
but even at my age...
213
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,158
I got you!
214
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,701
Even at my age,
215
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:28,456
you fill my veins
with the hot blood of youth.
216
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:31,083
You fill my heart
with desire.
217
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,086
You fill my brain
with passion.
218
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,464
While you're filling up, how
about filling this prescription?
219
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:41,511
Oh, all right, but first,
how's about a little kiss?
220
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,721
How about a nice,
friendly handshake?
221
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:47,308
What's come over
this younger generation?
222
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,936
When I was a boy sorcerer,
223
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:53,731
all the witch chicks
flocked around me.
224
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:58,695
That was a long time ago.
225
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,155
I'll fill your prescription.
226
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,200
Yeah, when I was a kid...
227
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,122
"Toasted cheese on rye"?
228
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,749
Now, what's that supposed
to cure?
229
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,626
Dr. Bombay.
He's hungry.
230
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:17,380
Oh, I'm hungry, too, but
not for any toasted cheese.
231
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,589
You know what I mean?
232
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,217
Uh, yes,
I get your message,
233
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:24,761
but what I would really like
is that prescription.
234
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,139
All right.
235
00:13:26,179 --> 00:13:30,434
I got a special
on the giant economy size,
236
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,354
in case you ever
get the same disease.
237
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,691
Bite your tongue.
238
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:39,777
Mmm.
239
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,487
Ugh.
240
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,325
How do I look?
Like a dream walking.
241
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,744
Are my stripes gone?
No.
242
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:51,664
Maybe you better pop me home.
I have a pooped popper.
243
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:55,543
One kiss, honey bun,
and then I will.
244
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,754
Well,
if that's the going price.
245
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:01,049
One smackeroo,
that's the going price.
246
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,759
Okay.
247
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,427
Going. Going.
248
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,472
Gone.
249
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,436
They just can't
keep their lips off of me.
250
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,653
Did you get the potion?
Yes, and it didn't work.
251
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,656
That's because Bombay left out
one ingredient.
252
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,575
Oh, terrific.
253
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:31,996
I know I'll be sorry I asked,
but, uh, which one?
254
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,499
The tail feather
of a dodo bird.
255
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,460
I'm sorry I asked.
256
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,384
Sam!
Now what?
257
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,390
Oh, my stars!
258
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,558
Where's Aunt Hagatha?
259
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,769
Upstairs,
checking on Adam.
260
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:58,439
Sam, where are we going to
find the tail feather of a dodo bird?
261
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,569
Well, I don't know. But
I'll think of something.
262
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,784
Aunt Hagatha,
263
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:13,955
I wish you'd talk to the Witches'
Council about replacing that quack.
264
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,623
I'll make a note.
265
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:19,377
The tail feather of a dodo
bird. This is ridiculous.
266
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,588
Wait a minute.
Maybe not.
267
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,550
Aunt Hagatha,
for Tabitha's last birthday,
268
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,593
Mother gave her
a cosmos coloring book.
269
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,596
Now, I think there's a
picture of a dodo bird in it.
270
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,391
Why don't you pop upstairs
and take a look?
271
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,269
And if there is,
zap the bird out of the book.
272
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,020
Of course, Samantha.
273
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,400
What a shame.
274
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,610
What do you mean,
"What a shame?"
275
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,363
Well, your aunt Hagatha's
going to zap a dodo bird
276
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,615
out of Tabitha's
cosmos coloring book
277
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,117
so we can get
a tail feather
278
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,995
to get rid of your horizontal
and vertical red stripes.
279
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,705
Why did you say
"What a shame"?
280
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,874
Well,
it's a pretty wild trip,
281
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,335
and it's kind of sad I'll never
be able to tell anybody about it.
282
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,798
Get away from me,
you dirty old bird!
283
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,801
Mr. Stephens, I suggest you
get the tail feather yourself.
284
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,636
I'm not going near
that dirty bird.
285
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,681
Well, how am I supposed to
get a tail feather out of that thing?
286
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,725
Well, I suppose
a rear attack is in order.
287
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,060
That's the part you're after.
Good luck.
288
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,873
Sam! Sam, you better
get out of sight.
289
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:42,043
If anyone comes along, I
might be able to explain the bird,
290
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,711
but how would I explain you?
291
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,554
Here, birdie.
Here, birdie, birdie, birdie.
292
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,563
Will you come on down here,
you rotten bird?
293
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,157
What's the matter?
294
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,337
What do you make of it?
I don't know.
295
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,838
Is it a bird?
296
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,590
Well, if it's a bird, it's the
biggest bird I've ever seen.
297
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,468
Should we get out
and investigate?
298
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,387
You get out
and investigate.
299
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,222
I'm not going
anywhere near it.
300
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:38,307
Uh, maybe
we better call in.
301
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,600
Good suggestion.
302
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,856
This is car 953. Car
953. Do you read me?
303
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,442
Come in, Car 953.
304
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,820
We're in front of a house
on Morning Glory Circle,
305
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,739
and we want to report a,
um...
306
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,032
Uh...
307
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,953
Bad suggestion.
You describe it.
308
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,871
You want to report a what?
309
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,666
Uh, nothing. It's just
something we thought we saw
310
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,294
- that we realized we didn't see.
- What?
311
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,380
Over and out.
Let's go have a beer.
312
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,965
Good suggestion.
313
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,784
[Darrin] Now,
listen, you dumb dodo.
314
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:42,413
Either you're coming down
here, or I'm coming up to get you.
315
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,050
Okay, if that's the
way you want to play.
316
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,258
I got it! I got it!
317
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,260
Sweetheart!
Are you all right?
318
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:42,431
Uh, yeah, in fact, if I hadn't
grabbed that bird by the tail,
319
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,642
I would have fallen
off that roof headfirst.
320
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,936
That dumb bird saved my life.
321
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:50,981
I knew there was something
I didn't like about that bird.
322
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:54,694
Aunt Hagatha, will you just
zap him back into the book?
323
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:57,863
[Hagatha] Thank you
for your feather, dodo, dear.
324
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,782
Now, back to the book.
Get out of here.
325
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,924
Here's looking
at you.
326
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:38,070
Dr. Bombay,
you're 0 for 2.
327
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,906
Appear at once,
or you are through.
328
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,616
I hope
this is important.
329
00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:45,327
I was engaged in a
very crucial chess match.
330
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,580
That's what you wear
to play chess?
331
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,207
It is when I'm tackling
my nurse.
332
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,294
Samantha,
you naughty little witch,
333
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,837
you haven't
taken your potion.
334
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:57,590
Yes, I have. And I'm
running out of patience.
335
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:01,302
You and me both. Doctor, you're
a disgrace to your profession.
336
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,220
What profession?
337
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,681
Well, if you're going
to harass me, I'll leave.
338
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,475
Oh, now, now,
wait a minute.
339
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,518
Lay off him.
He's the only one we've got.
340
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,938
Thank you, Samantha. I don't
understand what could have gone wrong.
341
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,857
You followed
my directions precisely?
342
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,152
Yes. That's probably
what went wrong.
343
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,696
You got the tail feather
of a dodo bird?
344
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:23,824
Oh, yes. And I've got
the scars to prove it.
345
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:26,452
And you followed my
directions? You got the potion.
346
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,037
You put in the tail feather.
347
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:32,708
You mixed slowly so as not to
bruise the Himalayan cinnamon stick...
348
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,211
You didn't mention
the Himalayan cinnamon stick.
349
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:37,963
Of course, I did. It's the
most important ingredient.
350
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,882
It's not only essential
to the potion,
351
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,967
It provides
the necessary antitoxin.
352
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:46,722
You did not say anything about
the Himalayan cinnamon stick!
353
00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:49,225
I must have.
You didn't.
354
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,186
Do you have witnesses?
Yes.
355
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,148
In that case, it's obvious
I didn't mention it.
356
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,526
And having done so,
I shall leave.
357
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:06,032
There goes one of the
great quack pots of all time.
358
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:09,703
Speaking of time, how
much time do we have left?
359
00:22:09,744 --> 00:22:15,167
Well, he said we had eight hours,
so that leaves us about an hour.
360
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:16,836
Fong's is closed...
361
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,421
I can't get hold
of Mr. Fong.
362
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:23,050
Sam, I may get arrested
for what I'm about to do,
363
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,886
but I'm about to do it.
364
00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:29,890
But what about bail?
365
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:33,686
Bail is set at $150.
Pay the clerk.
366
00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,396
It's cheap
at twice the price.
367
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,941
I got it! I got it!
368
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:40,317
[Sam] How did you manage?
369
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:42,027
How? Oh, it was easy.
370
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,696
I got arrested
and posted $150 bail.
371
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,449
What?
But it doesn't matter.
372
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,243
Let's see if it works
this time.
373
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,494
Oh, well, okay.
374
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:53,289
Ew.
375
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:04,008
Excuse us, folks.
376
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,594
We would like
to ask you some questions.
377
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:20,941
I,
uh... Uh, yes, officers?
378
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,359
What's wrong
with your face, lady?
379
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,196
My husband wanted to see
what I look like in stripes.
380
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,118
What can we do for you?
381
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,244
Well, we saw something
on your roof earlier,
382
00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:35,289
and we'd like to ask you
about it.
383
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,249
Oh?
384
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:41,337
Yes, it was, uh, um...
Well, it was a pretty big, uh...
385
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,590
Tell them, Charlie.
386
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,176
Well,
it was sort of a, uh...
387
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:49,136
Uh...
388
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:51,931
There hasn't been anyone on
our roof since the TV repairman.
389
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,600
Oh.
Does he have feathers?
390
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:57,394
I don't know. I haven't
seen him in some time.
391
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,483
Well, what we thought we saw
was a pretty strange...
392
00:24:02,523 --> 00:24:04,902
Uh, uh...
393
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,112
Well, Fred here
thought it was a bird.
394
00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:09,949
What's so strange about
seeing a bird on a roof?
395
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,992
Well,
this was no ordinary bird.
396
00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:16,038
No? No. No, no, no.
It was more like a, uh...
397
00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:17,873
Uh...
398
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:19,875
Tell them, Fred.
399
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:22,836
Well, it was a...
It was a great, big bird.
400
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:26,799
How big? Well, you
may not believe this,
401
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,301
but, uh, it was almost
as big as a...
402
00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:30,803
As what?
403
00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:32,429
Tell them, Charlie.
404
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:38,060
Where did your stripes go?
405
00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:41,605
What stripes?
406
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:47,861
Now, you were saying,
the bird was as big as what?
407
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,821
Oh, nothing.
Nothing. No...
408
00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:51,865
Uh, sorry to bother you.
409
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,076
We didn't see anything,
right, Fred?
410
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,453
Right. Right. We're
sorry for the intrusion.
31211
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