Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:10,219
Flowers, rise.
2
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,515
I said, "Flowers, rise!"
3
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,145
Flowers,
won't you please rise?
4
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,731
Is this some sort
of a charade?
5
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,275
Oh, Mother,
am I glad to see you.
6
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:28,820
No, it isn't a charade, and you
are looking at one sick witch.
7
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,614
What's happened?
8
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:33,825
I've lost my powers.
Great Halley's Comet!
9
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,746
I'll call Dr. Bombay right away. Oh,
don't bother. He's been here and gone.
10
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:41,165
Well, how could you get in touch
with him without your witchcraft?
11
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,962
Well, Esmeralda was babysitting
for me, and she contacted him.
12
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,464
What did Bombay
say was wrong?
13
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,717
Nothing.
Samantha!
14
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:55,722
Well, Mother, it's very
difficult to talk about.
15
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:59,017
Uh, Dr. Bombay gave me
a complete checkup
16
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,936
with his
computerized hexometer
17
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:04,773
and couldn't find a single,
solitary thing wrong with me.
18
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:07,609
Then how does he explain
the loss of your powers?
19
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:11,446
Well, Dr. Bombay
seems to think that...
20
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:16,535
He seems to think that it's a
manifestation of molecular mortal linkage
21
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,038
caused by a formation of polymers
and certain hydrogen elements
22
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,251
in a biological unity of two
or more dominant species.
23
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,587
Would you like me
to repeat that?
24
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,215
No, I got it.
25
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,594
Mother, promise you'll
try to control yourself.
26
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,762
Yes, yes, I will.
27
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:39,266
It's the result of your mortal
marriage. You got it, all right.
28
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,893
Mother!
29
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:56,116
Mother, you promised
to control yourself.
30
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,160
I did.
31
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:01,913
If I didn't, this house
would be in El Paso.
32
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,375
Have you told Durwood?
33
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,252
He merely pointed out
34
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:11,965
that millions of people get
along very well without witchcraft
35
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,593
and, well, maybe he's right.
36
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,219
Maybe I can adjust.
37
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,013
Maybe you could,
38
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,724
and I might even learn
to live with the disgrace,
39
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:23,644
but your father's
another story.
40
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,770
When he finds out,
41
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,023
I wouldn't give two kopecks
42
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:31,693
for Durwood's
continued existence.
43
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,613
And he's bound to find out
sooner or later.
44
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,960
Correction,
45
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,962
he's going to
find out sooner.
46
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,594
Elizabeth Montgomery in...
47
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:05,519
Bewitched.
48
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,685
Mother.
[Endora] Yes?
49
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,522
Wouldn't we stand a better
chance of avoiding an explosion
50
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,733
if Daddy didn't find out
51
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,527
I'd lost my powers?
52
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,571
What are you suggesting?
53
00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:01,283
Well, there's, uh, nothing
wrong with your powers.
54
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,661
Oh.
Oh, I see what you mean.
55
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:21,636
Maurice, what are you doing
in that absurd costume?
56
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,055
I'll give you a hint.
57
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:29,019
"O, that this too too
solid flesh would melt,
58
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,898
"thaw and resolve
itself into a dew!"
59
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,608
Going on a diet?
60
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:38,570
No, he's a Danish prince.
61
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,238
Or a Danish ham.
62
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:45,285
Endora, you have all
the charm of a tsetse fly.
63
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,621
All right, Yorick,
that will be all for now.
64
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,456
You may go.
65
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,753
Alas, poor Yorick.
He isn't well.
66
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,675
Samantha, my dearest.
67
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:02,636
Mmm.
68
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,306
Endora, for you.
69
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:10,101
I know how you love
to make cutting remarks.
70
00:05:10,142 --> 00:05:13,438
Oh, you're so sharp.
71
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,233
Well, Daddy, I suppose
with your crowded schedule,
72
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,859
you're on your way somewhere.
73
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,361
No, on the contrary.
74
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:22,363
I've decided to drop out of
the witches' race for a while
75
00:05:22,404 --> 00:05:25,116
and spend a few days
with you and the children.
76
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,409
Oh, how nice.
77
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,411
By the by,
78
00:05:28,452 --> 00:05:31,414
How is Adam progressing
with his witchcraft?
79
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,749
Fine.
80
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,209
[Maurice] And Tabitha?
81
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,711
She's doing fine, too.
82
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,922
Has she flown yet?
Not yet.
83
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,049
Ah, it's obvious her
powers of witchcraft
84
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,511
are frustrated with
this mortal atmosphere.
85
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,931
As I recall, you were barely
three when you first flew.
86
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,140
Oh, well.
87
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,434
Which reminds me,
88
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,478
do you remember that
charming little trick
89
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,480
you used to do
when you were a child?
90
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,942
Turning yourself
into a polka-dotted unicorn?
91
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:02,863
Remember, Endora?
Who can forget?
92
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:06,116
She used to butt me
with her horn.
93
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:10,202
I'd dearly love to see you
do that again, Samantha.
94
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,706
Well, I, uh...
95
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,585
Okay.
96
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,007
Mmm, doesn't look
quite the same.
97
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,593
What's the difference?
A unicorn's a unicorn.
98
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,767
What is going on?
99
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,353
Darby!
100
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,564
Are you still living here?
101
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,232
If you call this living.
102
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,527
What is this, who did it, and
how about getting rid of it?
103
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,863
Don't be a dolt.
This is Samantha.
104
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,824
It's a little trick she used
to do when she was a child.
105
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:51,077
You mean she got
her witchcraft back?
106
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,913
Back?
Blabbermouth.
107
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,623
What is this all about?
108
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,626
Durwood, like the rest of
you, your timing is atrocious.
109
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:02,755
Samantha, is this true,
that you've lost your powers?
110
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,676
Well, yes, it is,
111
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,471
sort of, in a way.
112
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,140
But not actually.
113
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,352
Samantha,
why are you hedging?
114
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,187
Did I sound
like I was hedging?
115
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,272
No, it's no use, Samantha.
116
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,524
You might as well tell him.
117
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,611
Yes.
118
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,573
Darrin, why don't you go
and wash up before dinner?
119
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,075
I'm not hungry.
120
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,911
Something has taken the edge
off my appetite.
121
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:36,831
The lack of
admiration is mutual.
122
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:41,044
Daddy, how about a martini?
Let's not avoid the issue, Samantha.
123
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:44,589
Samantha,
I've learned from experience
124
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:49,552
that circumventing the truth is
not the way around your father.
125
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,180
Okay.
126
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:56,476
Daddy, you have to promise me
that you'll think before you react.
127
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,688
Promise?
128
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,439
Oh...
129
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:05,068
Well, it's because
of my marriage.
130
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,448
When I met you,
131
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,619
my first instinct was to
turn you into a leaping lizard.
132
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,455
I'm sorry I didn't
obey that instinct.
133
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,458
Daddy, you promised that
you'd think before you reacted.
134
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,546
I have thought,
and now I'm reacting.
135
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:28,216
Young man,
you are a leaping lizard.
136
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:31,011
Oh, good heavens!
137
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:35,473
That's funny. I don't feel like
a lizard, leaping or otherwise.
138
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,148
Oh, Dr. Bombay.
139
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,316
Did you find
something that could help me?
140
00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:47,527
No, but I've isolated
the bug you've got.
141
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:51,364
Bug? The computer couldn't
find anything wrong with me.
142
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:54,451
I'm afraid that computer
has a few bugs of its own.
143
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,662
What you have is a rare
disease called perimeridictamitis.
144
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,831
I'm working on
the cure right now.
145
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,501
In the meantime, you must
all avoid direct contact with her
146
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:06,629
and above all,
no one must kiss her.
147
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,549
This might cause a complete
loss of his or her powers.
148
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,802
Make that "his."
149
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,263
Oh, Daddy,
I'm so sorry.
150
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,723
Don't worry, my dear.
151
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:20,684
How long will it take you to
find a cure for this perimeri...
152
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,355
perimeridictamitis.
No way of telling.
153
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:28,568
Few hours, few weeks,
couple of months, few years.
154
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,737
Lucky for you,
I have a new assistant
155
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,198
who's on
a fellowship from Witches U.
156
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,158
Lucky for me,
she's not a fellow!
157
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,124
Well, well, well.
158
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,958
If I didn't have scruples,
159
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,712
wouldn't I be in a lovely
position to pay you back
160
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,840
for all the nasty things
you've done to me?
161
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,218
Fortunately,
I don't have any scruples.
162
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,220
Darrin, careful.
163
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,681
Young man, take my
advice and take her advice.
164
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:03,061
"When the mighty fall,
the jackals come to call."
165
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:07,398
As poor old King Lear said
in similar circumstances,
166
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,903
"Blow, winds,
and crack your cheeks!
167
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,322
"Rage! Blow!
168
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,908
"You cataracts
and hurricanoes...
169
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,119
"Oak-cleaving thunderbolts..."
170
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,038
I think now would be a good
time for me to go wash up.
171
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,415
Come back.
I'm not through yet.
172
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,417
As far as I'm concerned,
you are.
173
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,253
Darrin, watch it
174
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,754
before you find
yourself in orbit
175
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,506
around the planet
of your choice.
176
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:36,636
Or you may turn into a
leaping lizard after all.
177
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,263
Daddy, what were you saying?
178
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,431
I was saying,
179
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:45,311
"Oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
singe my white head!
180
00:10:45,352 --> 00:10:47,981
"And thou,
all-shaking thunder...
181
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:53,611
"Crack nature's molds,
that make in grateful man!"
182
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,905
Oh, Daddy,
that is absolutely...
183
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,907
"Rumble thy bellyful!"
184
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,450
Sorry.
185
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,912
"Spit, fire! Spout, rain!"
186
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,581
I said I was sorry.
187
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,134
Good morning, mother.
Did you sleep well?
188
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,553
Sleep?
I was up all night.
189
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:21,181
Samantha, I'm worried
sick about your father.
190
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,183
We must be very kind
and considerate of him
191
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,811
and above all, let's not let him
know how concerned we are.
192
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,564
Right. Sam, I'll have two
three-minute eggs and...
193
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,107
Oh, good morning, Endora.
194
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,526
Make that one one-minute egg.
195
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,695
That way I can
leave the house sooner.
196
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,489
Durwood, I'm not in the mood
to bandy words with you.
197
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:40,658
Where is poor Maurice?
198
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,910
He's coming down. I had to
show him how to use my razor.
199
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,791
The thought of Daddy
having to use a razor.
200
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,170
Oh, it's ill-making.
It's just ill-making.
201
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:56,174
That fine, proud figure of
a warlock, reduced to this.
202
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,384
Good morning, all!
Good morning.
203
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,429
I've had the most
marvelous experience.
204
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,681
I shaved with a razor.
205
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,725
You know,
it's remarkably efficient.
206
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,477
And it gives one's skin
a bit of a tingle.
207
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,647
Mmm.
208
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,191
Is that smoked pheasant
I smell?
209
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,526
No.
It's just ham and eggs.
210
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,737
Ham and eggs.
211
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,740
That sounds a very
intriguing combination.
212
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,493
Oh, Maurice, you don't
have to pretend with us.
213
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,620
We're your family.
214
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,873
Why don't you let me zap up
some pheasant for you?
215
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,793
Here, let me help you
to the table, hmm?
216
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:34,545
Endora! Have you
gone completely batty?
217
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,674
Oh, I can't bear to
watch this!
218
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,218
I just... I just can't
bear to watch this!
219
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,554
What ails the old girl?
220
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,517
She's a little overwrought
about your losing your powers.
221
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,059
Ridiculous.
222
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,895
What your mother doesn't...
223
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,398
What your mother
doesn't understand is
224
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,817
that this temporary
loss of powers
225
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:58,361
presents a unique
opportunity to me.
226
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:02,573
Opportunity? Of course. To
find out how the other half lives.
227
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,617
Well, that's
a very sensible attitude.
228
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,535
I'm glad you feel that way,
229
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:09,163
because do you know what
I've decided to do today?
230
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:13,001
Come with you to your office
to take a look around.
231
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,088
Why? I'm interested in
knowing what you do for a living.
232
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,924
Well, I'd like to oblige,
but I'm afraid I can't.
233
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,927
I beg your pardon.
234
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,763
I have to prepare for
an important meeting.
235
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,932
You don't seem to understand,
young man.
236
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,059
I'm not asking you,
I'm telling you.
237
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,690
You're the one who
doesn't seem to understand.
238
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,818
Without your powers, you have
no way of forcing me to agree.
239
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,947
Excuse me.
240
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,119
Uh-oh.
241
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,080
I'm sorry, but I just
had to assert myself.
242
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:54,958
I know, but asserting
yourself in front of Daddy
243
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:58,296
is not conducive
to continued good health.
244
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,423
What can he do to me now?
245
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,925
Oh, my stars!
246
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,053
You were saying?
247
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,267
How about coming down to
the office with me, Maurice,
248
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,977
having a look around?
249
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:22,362
Oh, Betty, there you are. I'd like
you to meet my father-in-law, Mr...
250
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,238
Just Maurice.
251
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,157
How do you do?
252
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,658
Charmed, my dear.
253
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,247
What a lucky devil you are to
have such an attractive amanuensis.
254
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,500
Oh, no,
I'm just a secretary.
255
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,585
Yes, that's what
I meant to say.
256
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,670
Hi, Darrin.
Oh, Hi, Larry.
257
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,922
Uh, you know
my father-in-law?
258
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,257
Oh, of course, of course.
How are you?
259
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,009
Going to a wedding?
No.
260
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,386
Oh...
261
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,514
Maurice just thought he'd come
down here to the office with me today
262
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,849
and sort of, uh, look around.
263
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:55,812
Yes, and so far what I've
looked at is most pleasing.
264
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,856
[Larry] Benson's due here any minute,
265
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,359
and we still haven't
gone over these layouts.
266
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,403
Think this color match
is close enough?
267
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,239
Mmm-hmm.
Benson's chili con Carne.
268
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,534
That's chili with meat.
Thanks for the translation.
269
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,536
Can I be of
any other assistance?
270
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,621
Well, if you really
wanna help, uh,
271
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,456
why don't you sit
right here at my desk?
272
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,750
Uh, Betty will give you
a pad and a pencil,
273
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,419
and if you come up
with any ideas
274
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:22,880
for a slogan or a campaign for
this chili, just, uh, write them down.
275
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,133
But I've never tasted it.
276
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:28,052
Well, you don't have to
taste a product to sell it.
277
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,846
You don't?
278
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,514
That doesn't seem logical.
279
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,891
Logic has nothing to do
with advertising.
280
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,894
Suppose we step into
my office?
281
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,229
Right. Uh,
282
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,274
just ask Betty, and she'll
get you coffee or anything.
283
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,068
Would you like some coffee?
284
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,361
No, thanks,
285
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:49,615
but, uh, what comes under
the heading of "anything"?
286
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,036
When do you suppose
that fool doctor
287
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,205
is going to come up
with a cure?
288
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,915
Soon, I hope.
289
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,419
Although Daddy's attitude
is remarkably good.
290
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,753
For him.
291
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,132
Dr. Bombay!
292
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,592
About time!
293
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,969
Hello? Hello?
294
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,513
Ah! There you are.
295
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:13,764
Do you have the cure?
296
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,476
Yes, I've found the antitoxin
to perimeridictamitis
297
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,603
and here is the prescription.
298
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,271
The apothecary
will fill it for you.
299
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:24,442
I'll take care of it. No, no. You'll
have to zap Samantha there.
300
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,611
The apothecary
insists upon examining
301
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,446
the patient before
filling the prescription.
302
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,116
Why is that necessary? Well, he
claims that lately, a lot of witches
303
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,745
Have been given the wrong
drugs through sloppy diagnosis.
304
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,831
You're the only one
who treats witches.
305
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,210
Do you have to be
so blunt about it?
306
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,595
Well, Bombay's done it again.
307
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,847
You mean his diagnosis
was wrong?
308
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:58,726
No, he's right, and it's
the second time this year.
309
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,937
Well, that's a relief.
310
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,314
Now, uh, how soon can I have
the antitoxin?
311
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:07,484
Oh, that's tough to say.
I'm a slow worker.
312
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,946
Except with
a groovy chick like you.
313
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,365
How's about a little
kiss, cutie? But...
314
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,537
Oh, come on.
Now stop fooling around.
315
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,914
Who's fooling around?
I'm serious!
316
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:23,084
It gets kind of lonely here,
you know?
317
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,170
You know something?
318
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,215
Girls move a lot quicker
than they used to.
319
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:39,141
All right, you like to make a
little game of it, do you? Okay.
320
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,480
Now, look, uh,
321
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,482
why don't you attend
to business?
322
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,943
This is my business.
323
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,529
The shop is just a hobby.
324
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:03,416
Uh, you better give me that
prescription before you have an attack.
325
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,252
Help me to that chair.
326
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,925
Before I catch you,
I've got to catch my breath.
327
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,428
I've got you!
No.
328
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,681
Where are your ethics?
329
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,893
Oh, let's see, now, I used to
keep them up there on that shelf.
330
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,521
Now, look, once and for all,
331
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:28,733
will you give me
that antitoxin?
332
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:31,193
Only in exchange for a kiss.
333
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,823
Would you settle
for a lukewarm handshake?
334
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:39,952
I want a kiss, a whole kiss,
and nothing but a kiss.
335
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:48,961
Don't worry, honey, I'll get
your prescription now.
336
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,380
I just wanted to
refresh my memory.
337
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:57,094
Well, I think this one
really stirs the appetite.
338
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,013
A cowboy cooking
over an open flame
339
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,266
in the fresh crisp air,
340
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:06,979
and the copy, "Out of the
saddle, and into the chili."
341
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,065
Very effective,
don't you think?
342
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,026
You really want to know
what I think?
343
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,111
I think I know
what you think.
344
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,821
Ah! There you are.
345
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,574
Oh, we'll be through
in a minute, Maurice,
346
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,785
so why don't you wait outside
in the waiting room?
347
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,994
But what about my suggestions
for the chili?
348
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:26,582
Not now. Wait, I'd like to
hear those suggestions.
349
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,710
I'm getting desperate. I
take it you're Mr. Benson?
350
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,755
Yeah. Sir, you are
to be complimented.
351
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,507
Your chili is delicious!
352
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,384
Thank you.
353
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,969
That's already better than
what I've heard.
354
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,056
The mistake you made,
Durwood, was not tasting the chili.
355
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,683
He didn't even taste it?
356
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,728
Poor guy doesn't even know
his son-in-law's name,
357
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,438
so I wouldn't...
358
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,607
Excuse me.
359
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,028
Now what?
360
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,949
Sam's in the outer office.
361
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,869
You better get her in here. She's
the only one who can handle him.
362
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,538
Tell her to come right in.
363
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:08,708
[Larry] Sam, come in!
364
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,000
Hi, Larry. Darrin.
[Darrin] Hi, Sam.
365
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,421
Hello, Daddy. This is
Mr. Benson, Mrs. Stephens.
366
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,131
Oh, how do you do?
Delighted, I'm sure.
367
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,382
My daughter.
Oh, how nice.
368
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,342
Well, it appears that
this business meeting
369
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,053
is turning into
a family reunion.
370
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:24,849
Well, we are going to change
it back into a business meeting.
371
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,475
Come along, Daddy.
I have your medicine.
372
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,811
Good, but first
I want to give Mr. Benson
373
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,564
my ideas on
advertising his chili.
374
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,734
Well, why don't you
take your medicine first?
375
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,694
I did,
and I feel wonderful.
376
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,613
No, thank you, dear,
I think I'll go it on my own.
377
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,157
Mr. Benson,
to be honest,
378
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,326
I'd never tasted
chili before.
379
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:48,664
I'd understood that chili con
Carne was a very ordinary food.
380
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:53,669
I found it to be a rare treat,
a veritable gourmet dish.
381
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,045
Poor guy's lost his marbles.
382
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,047
He's got something
you haven't got.
383
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,175
What's that?
Class.
384
00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:02,219
If, indeed, it is
thought of as ordinary,
385
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,931
all the more reason for
giving it aristocratic appeal.
386
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:09,226
"Oh, that a man's reach
should exceed his grasp
387
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,188
"or what's a heaven for?"
388
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:15,691
Robert Browning, right?
Precisely as I dictated it to him.
389
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,196
Now, here's the sort of thing
I had in mind.
390
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,949
Picture a very distinguished
man... About your height?
391
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,493
More or less.
392
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:28,204
An attractive man
of obvious breeding
393
00:21:28,244 --> 00:21:33,709
seated at a table set with fine
china, linen, and candlelight.
394
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,920
A butler offers him a dish.
395
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,464
He holds up his hand and says,
396
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,215
"Take away the caviar,
397
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:44,428
"and bring me
Benson's chili con Carne."
398
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:50,100
Oh, my, isn't that
an interesting approach?
399
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,061
Naturally, she'd like it.
I like it, too.
400
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,647
That makes three of us.
401
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,607
Four with Darrin, right?
402
00:21:56,648 --> 00:22:00,444
Right. Never underestimate
the power of my father-in-law.
403
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:03,571
I think he's hit on a theme
that just might catch on.
404
00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:07,034
Might? My dear sir, I know
nothing about advertising,
405
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,079
but I am an authority
on human foibles.
406
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,666
One of the most sensitive
of these is ego.
407
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:16,794
Strike a man there and
you touch home, believe me.
408
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,462
I believe you,
I believe you.
409
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:21,257
You're one of the most
convincing people I've ever met.
410
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:24,510
Of course, you realize I did
it with no spell whatsoever.
411
00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:25,970
No what?
412
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,471
What does he mean,
"No spell?"
413
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:32,142
He's just pointing out that, uh,
he didn't have to use any tricks.
414
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:36,063
Right. Well, Sam, I'm
sorry you have to rush off.
415
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,315
Come along, Daddy.
416
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,318
Well, goodbye, all.
It's been charming.
417
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,905
Mrs. Stephens, you should
be very proud of your father.
418
00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:46,949
I think he's dynamite.
419
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,868
Oh, I do, too,
420
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:51,704
and I never know
when he might explode.
421
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,837
Daddy, you sure you won't
stay for dinner? No, thank you.
422
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:03,590
My dear, I want you to
continue practicing your witchcraft
423
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,968
in spite of what
this buffoon tells you.
424
00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:07,344
Now, just...
Stop.
425
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:11,140
Darrin, don't say anything
you might not live to regret.
426
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:12,725
Daddy,
I appreciate the advice,
427
00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:16,145
but it's rather hard to ignore
your husband's wishes.
428
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:19,231
It's not so hard,
believe me.
429
00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:23,193
Endora, I know that beneath
that cold exterior,
430
00:23:23,234 --> 00:23:25,362
there beats a heart of ice.
431
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,615
All this family warmth
is underwhelming.
432
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,159
Darby, I'm warning you...
433
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,287
Darrin, I need some help
in the kitchen.
434
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,705
Please.
435
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,667
Endora, I take my leave.
436
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:47,051
How about a real kiss
for your old flame?
437
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:50,095
Well, if he shows up,
I'll be glad to kiss him.
438
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,806
Come on, Endora, come on.
439
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,391
Stop pretending.
440
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,268
Well...
441
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:58,228
Sure, I'm grateful
to your father,
442
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,397
but I just wish he'd stop
using me like a doormat.
443
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:04,401
Well, as long as he doesn't change you
into one, what difference does it make?
444
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:07,363
That man! That man! Do
you know what he just did?
445
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:09,490
What?
He kissed me!
446
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,159
Oh, how sweet.
447
00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,911
Sweet?
The wretch!
448
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:17,455
He hasn't taken the antidote,
and now I have the bug.
449
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,792
Isn't that a shame?
450
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,127
Oh...
451
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:24,672
Darrin, this is
no joking matter!
452
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:26,924
[Maurice] Yes, it is!
453
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:29,301
I saved half of this
for you, my dear.
454
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:34,181
After you sip,
how about a little sup?
455
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:36,266
I beg your pardon.
456
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,561
I was thinking of that
little place we used to go to
457
00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,313
on the Milky Way.
458
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:43,983
Daddy,
what has gotten into you?
459
00:24:44,023 --> 00:24:47,277
Oh, just some fond memories.
460
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,204
Ciao.
461
00:24:57,246 --> 00:25:02,084
Oh, isn't that charming?
462
00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:04,586
Just like anybody else's
mummy and daddy.
463
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:06,964
You're kidding.
34903
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof