Original subtitles

SIMON: To me, driving a rally car is more than just a test of skill.

It's an experience of extreme sensuality,

a partnership between car and driver,

of power, speed and satisfaction.

Ah, she's a good looker.

Put your money behind her, Mr Laker. You won't go far wrong.

You won't go wrong at all, Mr Laker.

Now, don't rush me, fellas.

Yours isn't the only car in the running.

All ready, Simon? You bet.

Heading north on Transmere Avenue. Over.

All right, Simon, put her through her paces.

Giving her a little more gas, George, and into the bend.

Very nice, George.

Holds the road like a leech.

No tail wag.

65 miles an hour.

A car like that could give us a lot of trouble.

If we let it.

Pushing her a bit now, George. Braking test.

Here we go. Coming up now.

Great! Steady as a rock.

You've got a winner here, George...

What is it? It's that voice.

It's somehow familiar.

Something's wrong, George.

The steering's gone.

I just hope that driver isn't hurt.

We can't always calculate.

Oh!

Are you all right? Oh, sure I am!

Happens to me every day on the freeway.

For a moment, it certainly looked like curtains for the impetuous Simon Templar.

I can't take it in. I can't believe it.

Could it have come loose by itself? Never in a million years.

So somebody's trying to put us out of business.

Which they have. You'd better call your insurance company.

Insurance?

You know what it costs to insure a design car?

You mean you're not insured?

We couldn't afford it.

No, Simon, this is the end for me.

But, George, you've got the practice car. We can fix it in time.

Not a chance. I've lost enough at this game already. I'm getting out.

Back to fixing flats and beating out panels, eh?

Well, at least the money's certain.

George, don't quit.

What would you do?

I'd fix the practice car.

Dad, be sensible! There's enough time.

There's not enough money.

Hmm.

So all my eggs are in one basket?

Looks like it.

Mr Laker, if you are backing a car this year, you've really no choice.

Miss Collingwood, I still have the choice between yes and no.

Of course.

You do well in the rally with your car, I'll say yes. But you've got to beat the big companies.

We'll do it.We've got the car.

What sort of driver? First-class.

Get rid of him. I don't understand.

I want Simon Templar.

But he's driving for cousin George.

Not any more he isn't.

But I mean, with the wreck and everything, I mean...

I hardly like to ask. It seems...

Get him.

Otherwise I'm not interested. Understand?

I only back winners.

But what's your objection to Templar?

You know him?

Far too well.

But either Templar drives or Laker won't put up a penny.

Make Templar refuse.

Well, I'll try.

Hard.

We've got to stay clear of him.

Aren't you coming in? Uh-uh.

You're going to have to find yourself a lift home.

George, I...I just came to say how sorry I am.

Well, you know.

How did it happen?

The steering was fixed.

Fixed?

You mean deliberately?

HAPGOOD: Deliberately.

Simon, this is Justin Pritchard.

Unfortunately, he's my nephew. How do you do?

How do you do?

George and Justin used to work together.

Now they call it friendly rivalry. Friendliness from George, rivalry from Justin.

Oh, Dad, come off it!

It's all right, George, I'm used to it.

You're covered, of course, for insurance?

Can you afford to pay the premiums they ask?

Well, I'm going to have to, if there's sabotage around.

It's working out all right for you, isn't it, Justin?

Laker will be backing you now.

Um, George, could I have a word with you?

George, this business about Templar driving my car...

I mean...

Well, do you mind?

No.

I'm er...pulling out of the design business.

The stakes are too high.

If Simon will drive the Sentinel, you're welcome to him.

Do you think he will?

Why not ask him yourself?

Hey!

Can't you read the diversion sign?

Hello, Miss Collingwood. Dilys.

Oh, there's someone to see you. I showed him into your room.

Client?

He didn't say. More business, maybe.

Or more trouble.

Hello, Kay.

I trust you find my chair comfortable?

Very.

The last time I was here, the notice on the door said

"Collingwoods Limited, dealers in precious stones".

And?

The time before that, "Kay Collingwood Escort Bureau".

Both legitimate businesses.

Yes, so you always insisted when your clients complained.

Now you've tied up with a young man called...Justin Pritchard?

And there's no helpful information on the door.

I'm giving him the benefit of my experience...

as a public relations consultant.

It's a pretty wide field, public relations.

You don't mind?

I have no secrets from you, Simon.

The only way to conduct a friendship.

Great! Steady as a rock. You've got a winner here, George.

The voice sounds familiar.

Something's wrong, George...

You don't imagine I had anything to do with the crash?

Let's say I don't rule out the possibility.

Unusually naive of you, Simon.

It's my middle name.

My business is information.

Long-range selector. It can pick out a conversation on May Day in Red Square.

How exciting.

Amplifier. In the next room, you can hear a pin drop.

Or a garter snap?

DILYS: She's got a man with her.

And last but not least...

The miniaturised transmitter.

Where would industrial espionage be without it?

Impressed?

Yes, enough to join your team.

What does that mean?

Oh, enough to accept Laker's invitation to drive the Sentinel in the rally.

May I use your phone?

Make yourself at home.

Er, Mr Laker, please. Simon Templar.

Are we partners, then?

Well, Laker seemed to like the idea. But I felt that young Justin was just a fraction less keen.

That's because he doesn't know you, Simon.

There. What's that for?

That's for good luck in the rally.

Let bygones be bygones, shall we?

Why not?

Wow!

You can say that again, Dilys.

She loves me not.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

Hello, Justin.

I'm...I'm glad Simon changed his mind.

So is Harold Laker. That's what counts.

Is she ready?

Sure.

Full race camshaft, latest crossflow cylinder head,

fully lightened, balanced and tuned for maximum brake horsepower.

Good enough for you?

If you're satisfied.

You'd better be going. Right.

And this time, go easy.

Don't overdo it today, though. It's only a trial run.

In fact, I'd be a lot happier if you took out the practice car.

The reactions will be different.

Think of all the dynamically balanced parts.

OK, but don't push it too hard.

Wait till she's on the start line.

Yes, sir.

It'll be interesting.

To see how it shapes up against your car? Mm-hm.

Don't worry, I'll give you a full report.

I'll get her well clear of the built-up area & then I'll put her through her paces.

OK, Simon.

It's a great car. I hope Templar's as good.

If the car has what it takes, you've got tomorrow's rally as good as won.

And Harold Laker's backing.

Ask him what'shappening.

Templar? Templar, can you hear me?

Templar, are you all right?

Templar, can you hear me?

Don't say it. I can tell by your face.

You want the Sentinel wrecked.

But you don't want Templar hurt. What do you think I am? A magician.

I think you're a...

No saboteur in the world could get into this.

Or out of it.

Maybe you should keep this.

OK.

Tell me, if anything happened to the Sentinel,

how long would it take to get this one ready?

We'd never do it in time. Why do you ask?

Oh, I just thought if the worst happened...

It's up to us to make sure it doesn't.

In shape and with the right driver, that car can beat anything in this rally.

Including George's?

The Sentinel would have beaten that, too.

Oh, the cars are similar - the chassis, transmission.

But mine's got features, Templar.

Features I've developed.

Which makes it a world-beater?

Sure.

If you're the driver you're cracked up to be.

I suppose Justin's all set to win?

Well, he seems reasonably optimistic.

You know what makes me so mad?

Ever since they were kids, Justin's always gotten the better of George.

Natural talent?

No, George quits so easily, that's all.

Tell me something.

Why is Harold Laker so impatient?

He wants to put money into a new design this year.

All the other cars in the Laker rally don't need development money. They have it.

So Justin's Sentinel and this are the only two independent entries?

Until yesterday.

Now Justin's got the field all clear.

He doesn't even have to win. All he has to do is make a reasonably good showing.

But could George have won with this practice model?

With you driving, I think we'd have had a fighting chance.

But he's thrown in the sponge.

He figures we haven't a prayer of getting this practice car ready in time.

What do you think?

I'm only the mechanic around here.

Not for me to say, is it?

Nice of you to drop in.

Especially since we missed each other on the road this morning.

Oh, before you go...

..I think we should have a chat.

OK, let's talk. Who sent you?

You gonna make me work for it?

Was it Kay Collingwood? Yeah.

And Justin? Yeah, both of them.

Why?

All right.

After this morning's ride, I'll tell you why.

Because Justin's Sentinel is a washout.

I stand more chance in the rally in a farm tractor.

If Laker were to see the Sentinel's performance, he wouldn't invest in it. Right?

It needs another year's work.

With George Hapgood's car running, they didn't have a year.

So they stopped George from entering

and then they planned to sabotage the Sentinel so that neither car could run tomorrow. Right?

Why not ask them?

You have a point.

Where are they? I was to ring Kay's office.

At two in the morning? That's what she said.

Well, never argue with a lady. Come on.

DILYS: This is a recorded message.

The offices of Kay Collingwood Associates have closed.

Your message will be attended to first thing in the morning.

Please state your name and telephone number.

Speak now.

You heard.

Tom.

Everything according to plan.

Kay's equipment-crazy.

It's her age.

Now, listen, Tom. I have a little advice for you.

You're going to run. Run?

Mm-hm. And you're going to keep on running until you're a long, long way

from Kay Collingwood, George Hapgood...

..and especially me.

Good morning, Kay.

Good morning. I hope you had a good night's sleep. It's a tough course.

Very restful, thanks. All according to plan.

What does what mean?

I planned a restful night. A good book, an electric blanket, nine hours of beddy-bye.

I'm so glad. You'll need it.

You think so? It's pretty gruelling, 24 hours nonstop.

Oh, I have a strong constitution, as you know only too well.

Will you be following the rally? I wouldn't dream of missing it.

After all, it is Justin's big chance.

In fact, his last.

What?

Are you sure you won't be needed at the office?

I mean, your other clients.

You do have other clients?

Of course. But my office practically runs itself.

Ah, yes, all those expensive gadgets.

And Dilys, of course.

Of course, Dilys. Mustn't forget her.

I suppose she's absolutely trustworthy?

Morning, Kay.

Morning. Morning.

Well, let's get the show on the road.

I'll bring her out for you.

Not without the key, you won't.

Looks like it did the job.

Looks like it.

Simon, do something.

What would you suggest?

Oh, Justin.

Well, I'm afraid all that foam's not going to do much for your fully lightened and balanced parts

to say nothing of your latest crossflow cylinder head and full race camshaft.

Justin, I'm so terribly, terribly sorry.

Me, too.

In spite of all our precautions, sabotage.

No doubt about it.

Three years of work ruined.

All that dreaming, all that planning.

And plotting.

To impress Laker, I mean.

Now he won't see the Sentinel in action.

Never mind, Kay. There's always next year.

Yes, by then, she could be even better.

That is, of course, if you have enough money to continue development work.

Thank heavens there's the insurance money.

Will that be enough to carry on for a year?

We're adequately protected.

Well, let's hope you have a reputable insurance company.

You know how tricky these fly-by-night operations can be.

It's a solid company.

And the policy specifically includes malicious damage.

So we're OK.

Except for...Except for what?

How does the policy read exactly?

I've told you. It's in black and white, malicious damage.

Ah, that is malicious damage against your number one car, the Sentinel?

That's right.Then you have no basis for a claim.

What do you mean?

Well, you're not covered for malicious damage against your number two car, the practice one?

Of course not. But it's the Sentinel that's been damaged.

There is nothing wrong with the Sentinel.

A quick little tape-up job. I switched them last night.

You mean that's the competition car?

Do you mean it's been there all night unprotected?

That's right.

So Harold Laker gets to see how good she is after all.

Aren't you lucky?

Something wrong? Your navigator hasn't turned up.

Oh, is that bad?

You can't enter a rally without a navigator.

Map reading, relief driving - it's a highly skilled job.

No?

Who is he, the navigator?

Works for Justin. Tom Stevens.

Oh, Tom! I forgot to tell you.

He's decided to give up the rally game.

Taken up running.

Oh, it's true.

He's going to be a track star.

Track star?

Mm. He told me last night. In fact, I advised him it was a good move.

All right, Simon, what's going on? Where did you see Tom Stevens?

Oh, last night. Didn't I mention it?

You mentioned a good book and an electric blanket.

But...But no Tom Stevens.

Too bad. He seemed to be quite a good friend of yours.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You do, Kay.

You do.

Anyhow, Simon, you can't drive without a navigator. That's flat.

You used to have quite a reputation.

As a navigator, I mean.

Forget it.

Shouldn't really be doing this. Supposed to be unbiased in my own rally. But good luck.

If the Sentinel does well today, you'll do well for all of us.

Not a chance. What?

You can't enter without a navigator.

You made the rules. No navigator?

That's right.

That is, unless Miss Collingwood...

Does she know how?

Oh, she knows how.

Simon, it's been ages since I was in a rally...

Darling, once a lesson is learnt, it is never forgotten.

No, it's out of the question.

Answer me, Miss Collingwood, are you qualified as a navigator?

Well, I...Yes.

And you want her?

Desperately.

Then that settles it.But, Mr Laker...

If the Sentinel does well today,

it will mean a great deal of valuable publicity.

If you're going to quibble about a little thing like this,

then you can forget about my backing

and you can write the Laker Engineering Company out of your future.

Is that clear?

Well, there you are, darling. You'd better go and get changed.

You can't enter a rally in those clothes.

You never know when you'll have to get out and push.

High-spirited.

Yes, but I wouldn't have it any other way in a woman.

What's the matter?

Well, for a start, Templar knows that Tom tried to sabotage the Sentinel

and that we put him up to it.

How do you know?

There are ways Simon Templar has of saying things.

I just know, that's all.

Now he wants me to navigate for him.

What?

And so does Laker.

Otherwise we can write him off...

for all time.

Kay, forget the insurance. I'll withdraw the car, say it has a fault.

There'll be all sorts of questions asked.

Look, Kay...

Oh, Justin, let me do the thinking, will you?

There's a man outside who knows most, if not all the answers, do you understand?

No.

I'll put it this way. The doors of prison are swinging wide open - for us.

If we don't want a spell inside,

we play along with Simon Templar.

40 cars, gentlemen, starting from here,

up north, and returning via this easterly route and home.

Details will be radioed from every checkpoint to these sets here

so that hour-to-hour placings can be made up.

Now, the start is 9am today and the finish 9am tomorrow.

So that's 24 hours...

and ten minutes to go.

ANNOUNCER: Would the drivers of the first ten cars get ready, please?

Ready? As ready as I'll ever be.

I think we're coming up for time now, don't you?

Yes. All right.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the rally scrutineers have now completed their examination of your vehicles.

Car 23 in position, please.

MAN: Careful!

I'd like to get one thing clear.

If I can help.

You can. I want to know exactly what we're going to do in this rally.

We're out to win.

That's impossible.

Is it?

Oh, all right, I shouldn't have asked.

Right.

ANNOUNCER: Cars 42, 68, and 47, move forward, please.

I know what you're up to, my lad.

You're out to show Laker once and for all that this car's a flop.

Car 68 to the start line, please.

Right.

Good luck!

Car 47 to the start line, please.

Justin will look like a fool and George Hapgood will get another chance with a new car next year.

Right? No, I mean what I say.

We're out to win.

An exquisite sense of fair play.

You give the Sentinel every chance to fall flat on its face.

Maps? Yes.

Of Napoleon's retreat from Moscow.

War And Peace. Should last me through to the finish.

Checkpoint six, Car 23, driver Wilson.

2103 hours, 31 seconds. Right.

Jim.

I didn't want Templar. You and Laker pushed him onto me.

Don't worry. Simon may seem flippant, but er...behind a wheel, he's dead serious.

Driver Gordon, checked in.

There's a checkpoint coming up.

That's your job.

OFFICIAL: Car 68, driver Templar.

2300 hours, 10 minutes, 17 seconds. Congratulations.

For what? You're second.

The only one ahead of you is Wilson in 23.

Simon, did you hear that? We're second out of the whole field.

We've got a chance.

A chance of winning �3,000.

There's a turn-off approaching. Ours?

Yes. No, erm...

Wait.

Next one.

Checkpoint eight, Car 68, driver Templar.

0443 hours, right.

Jim.

Come on!

RADIO: Checkpoint 20, Car 39...

I can hardly believe it. We're still second on points.

Looks good, all right. A great car!

Next right.

And it's a narrow lane.

What's it like your side?

Muddy.

Fancy that.

You'd better get out and push.

Push...

Push?

�3,000. Do you want to win it or not?

Hey!

Watch it!

Watch what? Oh, forget it.

Are you ready?

Push.

Push!

I am doing!

Argh!

OK, you can stop pushing now.

Are you all right?

I'd get out and help you, only it's muddy.

Come on, 3,000 quid.

Oh!

Simon, if we win,

we split the �3,000, right?

That depends on how well you do your job.

For that money, I'll be perfect.

At the next rally sign, turn right.

And keep well over.

I'm gonna ruin my nails. What did you say?

I said I'm gonna ruin my nails!

You should have brought a shovel.

All good navigators do.

There.

Splendid.

We're in the clear. Maybe.

We're going to win!

That 3,000 beautiful, lovely pounds!

Looks as though you've done it. We're as good as home.

A sad day for you, though, George.

As he says, that's the way it goes.

At least I supplied the driver.

We were right about Templar.

I take back all I said.

He's the best.

He'll be here in a minute.

Here he is!

You're a miracle worker. We win the rally and it's raining champagne.

Well, they still have to check our times.

Let's wait here.

Until they slip a cheque through the side window?

You weren't always so totally unromantic.

Ah, but I have a short memory.

You must remind me sometime.

And now, Miss Collingwood, I think the time has come for you to face the music.

So let me get this straight. You say this car is not the Sentinel?

With the exception of the bodywork and the chassis, no.

Were the start line seals broken?

No, they were all still intact.

So this car was driven throughout the rally & there was no substitute drafted in halfway?

No. No irregularities there.

And the engine capacity meets our rules?

Absolutely.

So it was a fair win, but this car is not the one entered as 68?

No.

It's George Hapgood's car.

Everything but the shell.

I don't get it. George's car was wrecked.

George's competition car was wrecked. This is the practice version.

Practice version?

What, you mean this is my practice car with...

the Sentinel's body?

That's right. Your father turned it out in one night.

I told you it could be done, George.

Well, are all the cars in yet?

And the results checked.

Well, then, I've...

That's it, George. You have won the Laker Rally.

I'll sue.

I'll prosecute. I'll...I'll...

You'll shut up! Or Simon Templar will have us both in jail.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it is now official - the winner's trophy to Mr George Hapgood.

Congratulations, George.

Didn't I do my share? Oh, you were marvellous.

I hate to think what would have happened if we'd had the other navigator.

What was his name? The one that took up cross-country running. Tom?

LAKER: And the winning driver's cheque

to Miss Kay Collingwood and Mr Simon Templar.

Thank you, Mr Laker.

Half. You promised.

No, Kay. Not until you mend your ways.

Mr Laker.

Thank you.Goodbye. Good morning.

Goodbye. Bye.

Thank you, my dear. Good morning.

Is she free now?

I'll see.

Mr Templar's here.

I'll come out. Right.

She'll be right out. Really?

Simon, darling! You've come to give me my money.

Yes, but I am a little baffled.

The clergymen, darling.

Are you being baptised, christened, married or buried?

None of your business.

I've finished, Miss Collingwood. Do you like it?

Oh, no, Kay.

Not the church.

Simon, they're loaded!

And I need money so badly.

May I?

How badly?

No, don't. Don't make me, Simon, please.

That's better.

You know, Kay, one of these days, you are going to come to a sticky end.

But not yet, darling.

Not yet.