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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Last summer, Mama gave me
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this flashlight to signal the aliens.
4
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,165
She said, "Of course
there's life out there.
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00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:05,960
Now go outside."
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00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:10,130
But now it's just me and y'all,
the aliens of the universe,
7
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so if you can hear me...
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I am Christmas Flint, human female.
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I think you'd like me.
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I think you'd want to be my friend.
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Dang it.
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00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,986
And I don't want no ketchup stains
13
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- on those pages again.
- Yes, ma'am.
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Mama believed that sound waves
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travel out into the universe.
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She said that if I ever got lonely,
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I should just send my message out.
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Joseph!
19
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:56,779
All right, give me the ball.
20
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,031
- Uh-huh.
- Here you go.
21
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,622
Ramsey Flint, attorney-at-law.
22
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,958
- What it is, boss?
- What it is, boss.
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00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:12,336
Now, now, hold up, Joe Frank.
I'm your attorney.
24
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,630
Yeah, you got to listen to me.
25
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,091
Not about the property line now.
26
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,968
That is a big tractor, Joe Frank.
27
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,845
I'd advise you get out of the way.
28
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,723
This is legal advice.
29
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,266
You not hungry?
30
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,310
No, I'm talking to the dog.
31
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:30,437
Hey, I'm just trying to save your life.
32
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,231
That's the boss man.
33
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,149
He's my dad.
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Damn it.
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00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,777
He's doing his best.
36
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,529
It ain't his fault he loses so much.
37
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,614
- Where are my pants?
- Since Mama died,
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00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,116
he's been losing everything.
39
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,201
Boss, when we're done talking,
40
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,121
you think our words travel
out into the universe forever?
41
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,790
I sure as heck hope not.
42
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,001
I swear...
43
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,586
I'm gonna pop somebody,
I don't get my damn money.
44
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:55,963
Miss Rayleen?
45
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,589
I got to go down,
46
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,550
take care of Joe Frank in Live Oak.
47
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,884
Where are your pants?
48
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,803
You 400 in the hole, and you talking
49
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,430
- about Joe Frank.
- Now, listen...
50
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,348
That's Miss Rayleen.
51
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:08,559
She's an intergalactic warrior.
52
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,936
You know what? You the boss,
but you a broke-ass boss.
53
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,105
But she crash-landed here,
54
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,482
working for my dad
instead of going to law school.
55
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,735
Ain't nothing wrong helping somebody.
56
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,194
Still,
she's the smartest person
57
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,612
- you're gonna meet.
- We can discuss this later.
58
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:23,615
I got to find my pants. You move my pants?
59
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,242
I don't have anything to do
with your pants.
60
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,994
Mr. Ramsey, hi. I can't pay you yet,
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00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,787
but I brought you some avocados.
62
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:31,290
- Avo-what?
- A-Avocados.
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00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,793
It's the good Lord's way
of saying "mayonnaise."
64
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,170
Huh?
65
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,296
Uh, we'll get your payment soon.
66
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,547
You don't need no mayonnaise.
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00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,465
You need some money. You know how much
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00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,841
you have in your bank account?
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00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,718
- I do. It ain't pretty.
- You pay... Th-Thank you, miss.
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You pay her no mind.
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00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:45,637
- Everybody's doing their best.
- I'm going to the deck.
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00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:48,640
I'm doing my best
not to whup your ass.
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00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:52,061
Boss... h-hold up.
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00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,979
Got to make contact, though.
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00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,397
I know you ain't walking around
looking like that.
76
00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:56,440
Take that off.
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00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,108
Look at that hair.
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00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:01,278
People gonna think
you were raised by wolves.
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00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,322
♪ Oh, yes ♪
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00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,866
♪ I'm the great defender... ♪
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00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,035
- What it is, boss?
- What it is, Dwayne.
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00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,328
What it is, Miss Rayleen?
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00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,871
If it ain't $200 for the petty theft,
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00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,873
- I don't want to hear it.
- That can wait.
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00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,709
I'm gonna need his services, actually.
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00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:18,212
Let's go. Prepare to fall out.
87
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,130
Joe Frank got himself
arrested again.
88
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,049
We got to go bail him out.
89
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,635
Hey, there are my pants. All right.
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00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,303
People ain't got no sense.
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00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,139
Boss, don't you touch
that hair! You'll mess it up!
92
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,476
You be a real sweet, go grab me a beer?
93
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,604
Now, I know you already
offered one to Mr. Dwayne.
94
00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:41,401
- Isn't she sweet?
- Just like her mama.
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00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,028
I can't do it.
96
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:45,155
Hey. What the hell?
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00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,740
Why'd you say that?
98
00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,575
Now, now, now, now, now, now.
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00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,994
Like this, boss.
100
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,871
That's how it go.
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00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,790
King of Beers. Clink it up.
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00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,583
King of Beers.
103
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,627
Mmm. Tell you what.
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00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,963
You don't back down till you
reach them aliens, huh?
105
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,131
Give me that.
106
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,549
Maybe they can come down here
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00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,217
and babysit or something.
108
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,635
Sir, yes, sir.
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00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,345
All right.
110
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,805
Uh, all right, come on, Fluffy.
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00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,515
Y'all have a good time.
112
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,725
- Whoop!
- Dwayne, fall out!
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00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,821
Miss Rayleen?
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00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,531
Can you help me get
my flashlight brighter?
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00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,616
You going up on that deck again?
116
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,368
Mm, I don't know.
117
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,704
Don't you have any girlfriends?
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00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,956
- I got you.
- Uh-uh.
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00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,333
I'm not a friend. I'm a grown-up.
120
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,544
Then I guess nah.
121
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,046
What about that little sparkly friend?
122
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,341
His daddy's making him football-practice.
123
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,760
God help that boy.
124
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,429
Nobody at school?
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00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,390
They all say I pee myself,
even though I don't.
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00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,018
No. No, no, no, I know.
127
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,399
What's that?
128
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,401
It's a curler.
129
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,195
What's it for?
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00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,530
Make your eyelashes look longer.
131
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,699
Weird.
132
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,329
Miss Rayleen?
133
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,581
You think I could be part alien?
134
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,336
I worry about you, Christmas.
135
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:26,548
Do you want to watch
The Outer Limits later?
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00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:30,427
I'm sorry, boo, but I'm busy tonight.
137
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,663
When Mama died, everyone said
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00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,373
all kinds of different stuff.
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00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,791
She's in Heaven.
140
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,501
She's here with me but invisible.
141
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,128
The boss man says
she got turned into stars
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00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,507
and comets and meteors,
and I think that's what's true.
143
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:12,636
I think she's stars
and comets and meteors.
144
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,658
I would like to introduce
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00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,412
this bill of sale as Defense Exhibit A.
146
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,414
That's what I would do, too.
147
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,499
...were involved
in something more frivolous.
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00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,001
Well, there are those of us
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00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,919
who still side with the establishment.
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00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:47,921
Case dismissed.
151
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,180
Go! Go, run, run, run!
152
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,391
Hey, get them legs up! Get them legs up!
153
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,393
Yeah! All right, now zigzag. Zigzag.
154
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,770
Zigzag. Serpentine. Yeah!
They ain't gonna catch you
155
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,480
if you serpentine. All right.
156
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:06,857
Good hustle. All right.
157
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,734
All right, now go long,
go long. Go, go, go.
158
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,569
I want you to tell Joseph
159
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,279
it gets better for people like us.
160
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,614
For the ones with no mamas.
161
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700
Or the girl boys
and the falsely accused bed wetters.
162
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,076
Hey! Hey.
163
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,455
- But you might have to lie.
- That's all right.
164
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,873
Come on, bring it back in.
165
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,416
Bring it back in.
Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.
166
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,460
- Are we done yet?
- Give me the ball.
167
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,086
All right, now, you got to be faster.
168
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:30,297
- You have got to be fast.
- I don't need to be fast.
169
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,007
- No, you're gonna be faster.
- Joseph.
170
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,592
I've been watching you.
171
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,595
You're gonna have to learn
to run fast as all hell.
172
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,847
Right? All right. So go long.
173
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,390
Set, hut!
174
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,184
Okay, turn around.
175
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,269
Hands up. Back up.
176
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,313
- Here we go!
- ♪ I say a little prayer for you ♪
177
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:51,234
♪ I'm combing my hair now ♪
178
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,904
♪ And wondering what dress to wear now ♪
179
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,197
♪ Wear now ♪
180
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,367
♪ I say a little prayer for you ♪
181
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,118
♪ Forever and ever ♪
182
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,828
♪ You'll stay in my heart... ♪
183
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,455
- Run!
- It's Hell-No!
184
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,457
Let's get out of here!
185
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,543
Tax day. I'm y'all tax collector.
186
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,796
Give me y'all's tax!
187
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,547
You'd be advised
188
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:15,092
to stay the hell away from Hell-No Price.
189
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,386
Hey, Betsy-Wetsy.
190
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,054
- It's not true.
- It don't matter.
191
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,347
Come on, just run.
192
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,057
Hey! I will hunt you down!
193
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,517
She's got the ferocity
194
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,103
of a T. rex and twice the appetite.
195
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,980
Hell-No Price, I heard
she done ate her parents.
196
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,316
Get down here!
197
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,859
I said get down here!
198
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,238
- Crap.
- You got to pay.
199
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,365
You don't got tax...
200
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,075
Smash attacks.
201
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,204
- We ain't coming down.
- Nah.
202
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,498
We ain't got candy. We ain't got nothing.
203
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,166
Come on. We'll get 'em later.
204
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,711
♪ For the sake of all mankind ♪
205
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,630
♪ We pity the less lucky ones ♪
206
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,632
♪ The weak and the begrimed ♪
207
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,260
♪ Those that good fortune left behind ♪
208
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,138
♪ Be brave, be true ♪
209
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,931
♪ In everything you do... ♪
210
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,976
Beware of
nasty Principal Massey.
211
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,146
She grew up right next door
to Miss Rayleen.
212
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,440
She pretends she's better than everybody.
213
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,776
Good afternoon, Birdies.
214
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,612
Good afternoon, Miss Massey.
215
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,781
Have we got a treat for you today.
216
00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,659
Who's excited for some Jamboree?
217
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,996
Who's excited for some winning?
218
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,248
And this year,
219
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,834
I know we're gonna bring home
that trophy like always.
220
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,878
Otherwise, y'all gonna be
staying in Marietta.
221
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,421
I'm playing.
222
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,547
I'm playing.
223
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,215
So...
224
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,968
there's something special
happening this year.
225
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:45,515
An opportunity for all of us
to be a part of science.
226
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,268
Hi. Hi, everybody.
227
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,228
This is Doctor... Pers...
228
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,730
- Persad.
- Persad.
229
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,733
- All the way from NASA.
- Hello. Hello.
230
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:58,778
Raise your hands if you like
to think about outer space.
231
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,451
They're girls.
232
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,119
That's okay, huh.
233
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,330
You know, someone who loves to think
234
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,707
about outer space is our president.
235
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,251
- Oh, my.
- He has sent some of us
236
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,212
on a mission across the Earth.
237
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,756
We are putting together a record of life.
238
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,216
A record?
239
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,051
Yes. The Golden Record.
240
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,761
The greatest hits of planet Earth.
241
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,889
An account of all of us
to be launched into space.
242
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,391
- Ooh.
- But I don't want to go to space.
243
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,727
Hush up, precious. Shh, shh.
244
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,438
We are recording people
from all over the world,
245
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,482
giving greetings
in their native languages.
246
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,027
If there is a chance there is other life,
247
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,197
there is a chance someone will hear this.
248
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:46,535
There's no such things as aliens, though.
249
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,079
Piper, please.
250
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,665
Don't interrupt.
251
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:55,627
Our president is a humble man
from Georgia,
252
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,839
so why not a little girl
from somewhere like...
253
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,801
- Wiggly.
- ...somewhere like Wiggly
254
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,220
be the keeper of our immortality?
255
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,180
That's quite a job.
256
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,598
Well, um, I appreciate your time.
257
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,809
A group of us will be there
at the Jamboree.
258
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:13,353
We are looking forward
to recording the winners.
259
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,981
All right, let's go get changed
into our Jamboree costumes.
260
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,693
Come on, get going!
261
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,279
Let's bring home the gold
like we do, right?
262
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,530
- Christmas!
- Ow!
263
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,533
Why you always got to be
the one in the front, Piper?
264
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,577
- I got more badges than you...
- Piper! Hold up!
265
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,620
...so why don't you
pour yourself a big old glass
266
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,622
- of hush up.
- Hey. Hey.
267
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:33,957
Hey, Piper.
268
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,875
Do y'all smell something?
269
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:38,962
Did somebody pee on themselves?
270
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,257
I want to be a Birdie Scout.
271
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,551
I want to go to Jamboree.
272
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,636
Go run into trees, bed wetter.
273
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,680
- I'm not a bed wetter.
- Yes, huh.
274
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,098
She'll get the uniform nasty.
275
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,392
You'll get the uniform nasty.
276
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,146
I just said that.
277
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,815
I can be good for you.
I know stuff about space.
278
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,317
I could help you win.
279
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,736
Jamboree is a talent show.
280
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,696
The best of the best.
281
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:08,783
Is that you, or is trash you?
282
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:11,786
Why y'all so mean to me?
283
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,288
I don't know.
284
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,041
Just feels right.
285
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,543
I'm at the top, and you're at the bottom.
286
00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:21,713
It's just how we was made.
287
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,591
Go, go, go.
288
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:25,842
Open the locker!
289
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,261
Does this mean I'm in?
290
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,601
Ain't that some shit.
291
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,233
Greetings from planet Earth.
292
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:46,321
I am Krystal Massey.
293
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,533
And, um...
294
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,250
There we go.
295
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:09,260
And I wish you great tidings
and great joy.
296
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,137
I do.
297
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,139
Aliens out there.
298
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:22,732
Hello!
299
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,151
Anyone?
300
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:29,072
Oh, look, it's Christmas.
301
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,991
Bless your heart.
302
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,744
I'm gonna tell you something, precious.
303
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,247
When we get put in a locker, it's because,
304
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:41,126
one way or the other,
we got ourselves in there.
305
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:44,045
- You understand?
- No.
306
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,797
Oh, Christmas Flint.
307
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,800
We just don't know about you, do we?
308
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:52,387
You're sweet, but we just don't know.
309
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,308
Christmas!
310
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,560
Hey.
311
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,478
Oh, my God, I love your hair.
312
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,771
It's so different.
313
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:02,981
- Yeah.
- It's abstract.
314
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,607
You're abstract.
315
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,776
I want our band name to be Gemini.
316
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,778
We can dress in that shiny plastic.
317
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,447
Shiny plastic?
318
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:15,326
What the hell happened to your hair?
319
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,494
Fell off, I guess.
320
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,204
You look ferocious, boss.
321
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,789
Nothing more important than that.
322
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,040
She didn't do this herself.
323
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,126
- Who did this?
- No one.
324
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,420
Just tell her she looks nice.
325
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,172
What's wrong with y'all?
326
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,507
Why's she letting people cut on her hair?
327
00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:31,801
She ain't letting nobody do nothing.
328
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,554
- Clarification, boss.
- Overruled!
329
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,347
Yep.
330
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,433
That'd be the judge.
331
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,352
You tell him I'm on my way, all right?
332
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,271
Oh. Come on, Fluffy.
333
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,315
Can you make sure
she got something to eat?
334
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,442
I ain't got time for no children!
335
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,527
- And I ain't her mama.
- Come on there, boss.
336
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,446
There you go, Fluffy.
337
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,785
Ramsey Flint, attorney-at-law.
338
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:12,675
♪ Have a little song ♪
339
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,678
♪ Won't take long ♪
340
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,848
♪ Sing it right ♪
341
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,309
♪ Once or twice ♪
342
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,645
♪ Oh, Lordy, me ♪
343
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:27,398
♪ Didn't I shake, sugaree? ♪
344
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:31,569
♪ Everything I got
Is done and pawned ♪
345
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:37,951
♪ Everything I got
Is done and pawned. ♪
346
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,540
See that?
347
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,625
No.
348
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,711
There's gonna be
a meteor shower this year.
349
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,756
It only happens every 60 years, and...
350
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,052
...that means I can make contact.
351
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,929
There ain't no one up there.
352
00:18:58,012 --> 00:18:59,389
And if there is,
your shabby-ass flashlight
353
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,015
ain't gonna get it.
354
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,142
You ever actually seen Aretha Franklin?
355
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:04,686
No.
356
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,187
So?
357
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,945
I'm gonna get on that Golden Record.
358
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,239
What?
359
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,784
I'm gonna get on that Golden Record!
360
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,836
Joseph, we funna be Birdies.
361
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,838
What? I'm not a girl.
362
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,464
Well, there's nothing in the whole book
363
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,133
that says you have to be. I checked.
364
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:38,177
We need a dance for Jamboree
so we can win.
365
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,388
You're over your limit.
You can only get one more.
366
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:56,654
Hey. If I make that dance,
367
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,072
we funna win.
368
00:19:58,156 --> 00:19:59,866
We funna win.
369
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,994
Go on, get out of here.
370
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,622
♪ Well, you rock my soul
Down in the bosom... ♪
371
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,540
We need
a minimum of four scouts
372
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,125
so that we can make a troop
373
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,127
and I can get my voice on that record.
374
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,545
♪ He rocks my soul ♪
375
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,422
♪ Down in the bosom of Abraham... ♪
376
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:18,009
We have two weeks to find
Birdies with special skills.
377
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,844
♪ Whoa, rock my soul ♪
378
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,804
♪ Why don't you rock my soul ♪
379
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,264
♪ Won't you rock my soul ♪
380
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,933
♪ Down in the bosom of Abraham... ♪
381
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,019
We're looking for girls
382
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,730
with talents that have to be
useful in some way.
383
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,398
♪ Down in the bosom of Abraham ♪
384
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,692
- Mm-mm.
- ♪ Mm-hmm, oh, yeah... ♪
385
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,903
But I'd settle for anyone
who'd say yes to me.
386
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,571
♪ Whoa, rock my soul... ♪
387
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,990
Have you been saved?
388
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,951
That's Anne-Claire.
389
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,662
Loves her Jesus.
She ain't got but one eye.
390
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,121
Have you been saved?
391
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,289
Anne-Claire?
392
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,875
- Sorry.
- Do you want to help
393
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,211
the most poorest,
struggling fools of the Earth?
394
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,630
We're gonna leave a message
for the aliens.
395
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:58,132
Let me ask.
396
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,552
Dear Lord Jesus,
397
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,305
um, do you think this is a good idea?
398
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,848
Amen.
399
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,684
Yes!
400
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:15,984
The Birdie manual says
401
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:19,404
we need girls with grace
and virtue to lead us to glory.
402
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,740
But I think we need Hell-No Price.
403
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,242
Papa gave it to me.
404
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:26,995
Bubblegum. My favorite.
405
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,955
Hell-No Price.
406
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,624
I made you an avocado sandwich.
407
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,211
What the hell is this?
408
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,422
It's God's way of saying "mayonnaise."
409
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,507
Get that nasty away from me.
410
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,634
Heads up, bed wetter.
We're coming for you.
411
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,056
Let me help you.
412
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,433
No, get away from me. I'm fine.
413
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,059
That was real nice of you.
414
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,436
I ain't doing this 'cause I'm nice.
415
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:52,645
Just like to fight.
416
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:53,980
Using you as bait.
417
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,232
Now, go away.
418
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,819
I started
a Birdie Scouting troop.
419
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:02,113
You're fast, and you're smarter
than everybody.
420
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:04,032
You could help us and be invaluable.
421
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,533
I don't need to be invaluable.
422
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,201
Oh, don't you want a chance
423
00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:09,829
to leave a message
for the aliens in the future?
424
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,581
Or at least earn some badges?
425
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,583
- Hell no.
- But there's a record
426
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,085
they funna send into space.
427
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:19,922
Smash is like the universe.
428
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:21,466
Easy, Smash. Go play.
429
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,176
Full of gas and mystery.
430
00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:29,182
Hell-No...
431
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,684
you...
432
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,936
you're like a human volcano.
433
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:38,733
I see you walking around,
fixin' to explode all the time.
434
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:42,278
I always wonder,
what that girl think about?
435
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:45,198
So, what do you think about?
436
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,784
Blowing everything to kingdom come.
437
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,788
How we're all headed for the boneyard,
438
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,498
so what's the difference.
439
00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,168
Burning everything down
440
00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:59,212
so I don't have to look at nothing pretty,
441
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,380
'cause none of that for me.
442
00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,093
Well...
443
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,847
By us standing together and saying,
444
00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:12,308
"We should be here forever,"
445
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,936
and winning it over them,
446
00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:17,021
that's burning their whole nasty operation
447
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:18,648
right to the ground.
448
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,985
Yeah.
449
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:26,030
- Hmm? Hmm?
- Not right now, Smash.
450
00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:29,325
Smash gets to come, too.
451
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,119
All right.
452
00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:34,205
Smash get all the cookies she wants.
453
00:23:34,288 --> 00:23:36,040
Okay.
454
00:23:36,124 --> 00:23:37,583
You know I ain't your friend, right?
455
00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:40,753
Yeah, I know that.
456
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:43,422
Good.
457
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,342
Birdie manual says
458
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,136
every troop needs a Troop Mother
459
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:50,805
who will show us how to be
shining examples of womanhood.
460
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,473
Ow!
461
00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:56,602
Whatever that means.
462
00:23:56,686 --> 00:24:00,022
My client could not have been
present the night in question,
463
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:03,192
because we have receipts from Winn-Dixie
464
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:06,028
that prove he spent the night shopping.
465
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:08,447
He was shopping for
lighter fluid for 20 minutes.
466
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:10,950
It's right here on the receipt.
467
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:12,493
Dang.
468
00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:15,204
I swear, you men and arson.
469
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,415
Why you feel like
you have to set things on fire
470
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:18,791
every time you have a problem?
471
00:24:18,875 --> 00:24:20,543
That's our way.
472
00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:24,046
Life comes at you hard,
you set it the hell on fire.
473
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,923
Ain't that right, boss?
474
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,550
- Miss Rayleen?
- Yeah?
475
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,344
- I need something.
- Welcome to life, sugar booger.
476
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:34,599
Will you lead us to glory?
477
00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:37,143
Hell no.
478
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,644
Prize is you get to leave a message
479
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,229
for the aliens on the Golden Record,
480
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,815
- with Mozart and them.
- What?
481
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:44,150
Now, ho-hold up, hold up.
482
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:45,318
I'd be the representative of
483
00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:47,236
all the children on planet Earth.
484
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,614
So, like, our music for aliens?
485
00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:51,282
- Some of our music.
- Johnny Cash?
486
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:52,491
No.
487
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:53,492
- Waylon?
- No.
488
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:55,203
Gram Parsons? Rolling Stones?
489
00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:57,205
No, more like Beethoven and them.
490
00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:59,332
Well, then I'm not interested in space.
491
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:01,375
I don't care for that at all.
492
00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:02,877
Yeah, well, I care.
493
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,922
There's some other life out there,
494
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:08,132
and they funna know me.
495
00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:18,726
No.
496
00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:21,229
- It-it'd be office hours.
- You already owe me back pay.
497
00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:22,939
Well, I'll get it. I'll get it.
498
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,483
I mean, ain't my fault everybody guilty.
499
00:25:25,566 --> 00:25:27,526
Ain't my fault you can't
get people to pay you.
500
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:29,528
Joseph already started
our choreography, though.
501
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:30,696
No. No, sir.
502
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:32,990
I don't get on good with little girls.
503
00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:36,452
I do arsonists, murderers
and state prosecutors.
504
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:37,703
Little girls give me the creeps.
505
00:25:37,787 --> 00:25:39,288
Plus, you can't hit 'em no more.
506
00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:40,581
They changed the laws.
507
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,333
All right.
508
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,669
"Lead us to glory." I like that.
509
00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:45,962
And it would've been good
510
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,838
for you to be around other girls, boss.
511
00:25:47,922 --> 00:25:51,133
Lord knows I raise you like one
of them hillbillies next door.
512
00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:54,220
You'll be doing dip
if I don't take some action.
513
00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:59,058
Miss Rayleen, take your
office days down to two.
514
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:00,434
No. Hell no.
515
00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:01,727
I'm the boss man.
516
00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:03,396
You the leader of the Birdies.
517
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:04,897
Me and Fluffy,
518
00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:07,984
we gonna go and try and get paid.
519
00:26:10,653 --> 00:26:12,196
Here you go.
520
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,450
Fall out, Fluffy.
521
00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,625
I don't do nothing half-ass.
522
00:26:24,709 --> 00:26:26,752
I don't want to do anything
with half an ass.
523
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:28,129
You know you're just setting yourself up
524
00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:30,256
for your little heart to get broke.
525
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,758
No, setting myself up
to change my whole life.
526
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:39,515
He forgot to open
the damn beer can.
527
00:26:43,394 --> 00:26:44,520
Mmm!
528
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,694
Rayleen Mosely?
529
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:53,070
Hi, Krystal.
530
00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,572
Hey.
531
00:26:54,655 --> 00:26:56,824
It's been a minute.
532
00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:59,660
Mm-hmm.
533
00:26:59,744 --> 00:27:02,288
Since, uh...
534
00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:05,124
Pavo Possum Fest.
535
00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:08,794
Well, hey. Sure is nice to see you.
536
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:13,382
And are you a... are you a mama?
537
00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:16,177
I'm the Troop Mama.
538
00:27:20,431 --> 00:27:22,641
Yeah.
539
00:27:22,725 --> 00:27:24,477
For real?
540
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,313
- Are you playing?
- I don't play. You know that.
541
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:29,648
They can't be Birdies.
542
00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:31,275
- Why not?
- Because these children
543
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,693
are not...
544
00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:35,738
Because Birdies have
a strict quality code.
545
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,365
My boos are quality.
546
00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,414
And you think you can get these children
547
00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:46,916
to follow these standards?
548
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,877
Does a fat puppy poot? I got this.
549
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,089
That kind of language isn't necessary.
550
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:54,924
All right, then.
551
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:56,967
Got to give you a number.
552
00:27:57,051 --> 00:27:58,719
Troop...
553
00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:00,805
Oh, dear, well...
554
00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:05,643
Huh. The only number left in
the state of Georgia is zero.
555
00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:07,311
Isn't that sweet?
556
00:28:07,395 --> 00:28:08,938
Perfectly appropriate.
557
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:10,314
Yes, precious.
558
00:28:10,398 --> 00:28:12,733
Zero's the number of infinity.
559
00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,277
Is that right?
560
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:17,571
- Yeah.
- Well...
561
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:21,409
Troop Zero, welcome to Birdie Scouting.
562
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,163
I don't know if you thought
this was gonna be easy.
563
00:28:26,247 --> 00:28:30,042
Being a woman of substance is never easy.
564
00:28:30,126 --> 00:28:31,752
It's not pageantry,
565
00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:34,130
where you look pretty for the boys.
566
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:38,717
It's not 4-H, where you birth
a calf and call it a day.
567
00:28:38,801 --> 00:28:41,220
Before you're taking care of your babies,
568
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,639
before you're
taking care of your husbands,
569
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,142
your old parents and whoever
else needs you to hold them up,
570
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:47,768
you're taking care of your troop.
571
00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:51,105
You're making sure you're all winners.
572
00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:53,649
Each member is required to earn one badge.
573
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:57,695
That's the bare minimum
to qualify for Jamboree.
574
00:28:57,778 --> 00:28:59,238
You will earn them honestly...
575
00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:02,575
no cheating... and if you earn 'em,
576
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:04,368
then you got a shot at Marietta.
577
00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:08,539
So, welcome, Troop Zero.
578
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:10,749
We'll see you on the other side.
579
00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,543
If you make it out alive.
580
00:29:14,628 --> 00:29:16,547
I'm playing. I'm playing.
581
00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:18,716
I'm not.
582
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:20,176
Come on, y'all.
583
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:21,927
Come on. Don't take nothing.
584
00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:23,512
She'll say you got it dirty.
585
00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:37,193
- I will destroy you!
- Stop it! Stop it!
586
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,737
All right, all right.
587
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:41,780
Ow.
588
00:29:41,864 --> 00:29:43,824
Y'all want to do this.
589
00:29:43,908 --> 00:29:46,702
Hey, hey.
590
00:29:52,750 --> 00:29:56,337
- Y'all my Birdies now.
- He can't be a Birdie.
591
00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:58,214
Can't be a Birdie 'cause he's half boy.
592
00:29:58,297 --> 00:29:59,507
Can't be a football player
'cause he's half girl.
593
00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:01,509
No, ma'am, that would be a "no, ma'am."
594
00:30:01,592 --> 00:30:02,718
We are sweet to each other.
595
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,136
Smash, get your finger out your nose.
596
00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:05,930
Get the straw out of your mouth.
597
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:07,348
Hell-No, you get the straw
out of your mouth, too.
598
00:30:07,431 --> 00:30:09,016
Put your foot down.
599
00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:12,686
Joseph, welcome to the Birdie Scouts.
600
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:16,232
Smash, I don't care about the law.
601
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,317
Rayleen funna whup your ass.
602
00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:24,156
Joseph is one of y'all now, all right?
603
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,784
And we are gonna do the best we can.
604
00:30:26,867 --> 00:30:28,202
- Yeah.
- Nah.
605
00:30:28,285 --> 00:30:29,370
We funna lose.
606
00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:30,829
This a bunch of losers and trash
607
00:30:30,913 --> 00:30:32,122
- nobody wants.
- No.
608
00:30:32,206 --> 00:30:33,916
We funna win.
609
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,168
Here we are.
610
00:30:36,252 --> 00:30:38,963
Leftovers for the leftovers.
611
00:30:39,046 --> 00:30:41,966
I'm playing. Y'all know I am.
612
00:30:42,049 --> 00:30:43,842
For real.
613
00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:46,428
Good luck with whatever
you find in this badge jar.
614
00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:48,514
My girls have won almost every one.
615
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,224
Can you believe it?
616
00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:53,310
I'm sure there's something
in there for you.
617
00:30:53,394 --> 00:30:54,812
I appreciate you.
618
00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:57,481
- Mm.
- And let's see what we got here.
619
00:30:57,565 --> 00:30:58,857
What's that?
620
00:30:58,941 --> 00:31:00,359
Dang, these are ugly.
621
00:31:00,442 --> 00:31:01,652
Take it.
622
00:31:03,404 --> 00:31:04,530
What the hell is this?
623
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:06,949
Oh, that's Survival in the Wilderness.
624
00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:09,493
Can we have something
more in their ballpark?
625
00:31:09,577 --> 00:31:12,830
I mean, "Dress-idge,"
that ain't gonna work.
626
00:31:12,913 --> 00:31:15,082
"Dressage" is the correct pronunciation.
627
00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:16,542
Whatever it is, it ain't gonna work.
628
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:19,044
- Ceramics. Table Settings?
- Hell-No.
629
00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:21,255
- No.
- Just remind me,
630
00:31:21,338 --> 00:31:24,049
what do they say about beggars again?
631
00:31:25,134 --> 00:31:28,178
I'm playing. I'm playing.
632
00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:31,807
Y'all clean up this mess in here.
633
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:35,561
- These smell.
- Mm!
634
00:31:35,644 --> 00:31:37,813
All right.
635
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:40,441
All y'all got to do is win one badge each
636
00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:42,234
to go to Jamboree.
637
00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:43,694
So, it shouldn't be that hard.
638
00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:46,947
Have y'all ever won
anything in your lives?
639
00:31:52,620 --> 00:31:54,246
All right, Troop Zero, let's just...
640
00:31:54,330 --> 00:31:56,749
You know what? Let's just do what we can.
641
00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:59,793
You too thick, wear the sash.
642
00:31:59,877 --> 00:32:03,130
You don't want to wear
girl clothes, wear the sash.
643
00:32:03,213 --> 00:32:04,757
You pee your pants, wear the sash.
644
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,468
- Just don't get any pee on it.
- I don't pee myself.
645
00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:09,178
Yeah, that's just
in principle. Here.
646
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,471
Well, come on, now, Hell-No.
647
00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:11,972
Come on. Even if y'all don't win,
648
00:32:12,056 --> 00:32:13,724
you got to show them that you're serious.
649
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:15,726
- Y'all serious?
- Yes, ma'am.
650
00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:17,102
All right.
651
00:32:17,186 --> 00:32:19,063
Let's get this, my boos.
652
00:32:20,898 --> 00:32:23,776
Cookie Selling badge.
653
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:26,236
Blood makes the grass grow.
654
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,280
Kill, kill, kill!
655
00:32:28,364 --> 00:32:30,074
Come on. Come on.
656
00:32:30,157 --> 00:32:32,618
- Come on.
- Let's do this!
657
00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:34,912
- Let's go!
- Oh, I'm a real-life Birdie Scout!
658
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:40,918
♪ Yeah ♪
659
00:32:45,214 --> 00:32:48,884
♪ Lookin' back on the track
For a little green bag ♪
660
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,804
♪ Got to find just the kind ♪
661
00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:54,306
♪ Or losin' my mind ♪
662
00:32:54,390 --> 00:32:58,769
♪ Out of sight in the night,
Out of sight in the day ♪
663
00:32:58,852 --> 00:33:03,524
♪ Lookin' back on the track,
Gonna do it my way ♪
664
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:07,945
♪ Out of sight in the night,
Out of sight in the day ♪
665
00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:12,282
♪ Lookin' back on the track,
Gonna do it my way ♪
666
00:33:12,366 --> 00:33:14,076
♪ Lookin' back ♪
667
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:21,917
♪ Ah ♪
668
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,919
♪ Lookin' for some happiness ♪
669
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,380
♪ But there is only loneliness ♪
670
00:33:26,463 --> 00:33:29,967
♪ To find... ♪
671
00:33:30,050 --> 00:33:31,927
Buy my cookies, Ray-Ray.
672
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,847
- I got to ask my mama.
- They're two dollars.
673
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:36,140
Two boxes.
674
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:37,891
Give me four dollars for my cookies
675
00:33:37,975 --> 00:33:39,810
so I can be a woman of substance.
676
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:41,520
Now, Ray-Ray.
677
00:33:41,603 --> 00:33:43,397
Do it.
678
00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:54,324
Give that back.
679
00:33:54,408 --> 00:33:56,827
Now, get out of here.
680
00:33:59,329 --> 00:34:01,373
♪ Lookin' for some happiness ♪
681
00:34:01,457 --> 00:34:03,417
♪ But there is only loneliness... ♪
682
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,711
There, take some cookies.
683
00:34:05,794 --> 00:34:07,880
Come on.
684
00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:11,967
♪ Jump to the left,
Turn to the right ♪
685
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:14,595
- ♪ Lookin' upstairs... ♪
- Hi.
686
00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:16,972
Would you like to buy
some delicious Birdie cookies?
687
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,974
- You're not a Girl Scout.
- It's Birdie Scouts,
688
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,142
and we work on building communities
689
00:34:20,225 --> 00:34:21,226
through strengthening ourself...
690
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,187
No. No. No.
691
00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:24,897
We...
692
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,774
Well...
693
00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:28,484
Damn.
694
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:32,321
Please? I get so scared
talking in front of strangers.
695
00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,656
What kind of evangelist
does that make you?
696
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:36,450
Real bad one.
697
00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,368
All right, well, just hold my hand.
698
00:34:38,452 --> 00:34:39,912
♪ Out of sight in the night,
Out of sight... ♪
699
00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:41,288
I funna puke, Miss Rayleen.
700
00:34:41,371 --> 00:34:43,874
Don't puke before you get the money, boo.
701
00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:46,668
- Hello.
- Hello.
702
00:34:47,795 --> 00:34:49,421
Would you please...
703
00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:52,674
give me some... some money?
704
00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:55,928
I'll be happy to.
I used to be a Birdie myself.
705
00:34:56,011 --> 00:34:57,346
♪ Lookin' for some happiness... ♪
706
00:34:58,931 --> 00:35:00,307
Is she gonna be all right?
707
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:01,683
She'll be fine.
708
00:35:01,767 --> 00:35:03,435
It's good for the grass.
709
00:35:03,519 --> 00:35:04,645
Come on.
710
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:06,605
♪ Jump to the left ♪
711
00:35:06,688 --> 00:35:08,899
♪ Turn to the right ♪
712
00:35:08,982 --> 00:35:10,150
♪ Lookin' upstairs ♪
713
00:35:10,234 --> 00:35:12,778
- There. Come on.
- ♪ Lookin' behind... ♪
714
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:16,532
Every little girl dreams
about getting married
715
00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:19,743
and having their own babies.
716
00:35:19,827 --> 00:35:22,496
Child Care badge prepares you
717
00:35:22,579 --> 00:35:24,998
for the ultimate joys of motherhood.
718
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:29,419
Dang.
719
00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:33,173
Act right. Stop that.
720
00:35:33,257 --> 00:35:34,925
Stop that.
721
00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:36,760
- ♪ Lookin' for some happiness ♪
- Ow!
722
00:35:36,844 --> 00:35:39,513
♪ But there is only loneliness ♪
723
00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:42,474
- ♪ To find... ♪
- Perfect trust falls.
724
00:35:42,558 --> 00:35:44,101
Again.
725
00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:46,353
What the hell they trying
to teach you, trust?
726
00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:47,938
Try that in the real world.
727
00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:49,523
Get up, now.
728
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:51,108
Get up.
729
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,193
Get going. Come on.
730
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:57,239
Dear Lord in Heaven,
be safe, be safe.
731
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,662
All right, I got you, I got you.
732
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,956
Trust.
733
00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:15,507
- Hey, don't mess this up.
- Right.
734
00:36:15,591 --> 00:36:17,342
All right, I got this.
735
00:36:17,426 --> 00:36:18,969
You better. I need this.
736
00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:20,345
Ow!
737
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:24,558
No, no, no.
738
00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:27,185
No. No, no.
739
00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:34,860
We never gonna get to Jamboree like this.
740
00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:36,945
Shouldn't have taken them.
741
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:38,947
They're ruining everything.
742
00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:42,743
They're even bigger losers than I am.
743
00:36:45,037 --> 00:36:47,623
Oh, you're right.
744
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:50,751
Better for you to be back
at home watching Outer Limits
745
00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:54,880
and me to be living my life in peace.
746
00:36:54,963 --> 00:36:56,965
What? No.
747
00:36:59,593 --> 00:37:01,803
Let me see them badges.
748
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:16,193
You got to work with what you got.
749
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:17,569
Special skills.
750
00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:22,699
Beauty badge
was made for Joseph.
751
00:37:22,783 --> 00:37:24,660
If he can make my hair less ugly,
752
00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:26,703
he can make the world less ugly.
753
00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:28,830
This is the time to say yes.
754
00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,165
This is how I am.
755
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,125
This is what God gave me to work with.
756
00:37:32,209 --> 00:37:35,045
And I'm gonna make it beautiful
'cause it's mine.
757
00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:36,380
All right.
758
00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:38,590
♪ And I'm so glad ♪
759
00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:41,802
♪ I took the chance on you, baby ♪
760
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:44,596
♪ Hey ♪
761
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:48,392
♪ My friends all say
He don't play by the rules ♪
762
00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:53,021
♪ So listen, don't you be no fool ♪
763
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:55,941
♪ Don't you know
You're just a beginner ♪
764
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:58,068
♪ So look at me now ♪
765
00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:00,278
♪ I'm a winner ♪
766
00:38:00,362 --> 00:38:01,780
♪ Oh, oh ♪
767
00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:03,448
♪ I'm a winner ♪
768
00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:07,244
♪ Ooh, yes, I am ♪
769
00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:09,871
♪ Ow! ♪
770
00:38:16,503 --> 00:38:19,840
♪ Put that money down
And put them chips on nine ♪
771
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:26,013
♪ Ah, ah ♪
772
00:38:26,096 --> 00:38:29,391
- ♪ Ah, ah ♪
- ♪ Ah, ah ♪
773
00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:31,727
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Ah ♪
774
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,895
♪ I'm a winner ♪
775
00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:36,189
♪ Yes, I am... ♪
776
00:38:36,273 --> 00:38:37,941
Dang, son.
777
00:38:38,025 --> 00:38:39,693
You survive nine more years of this,
778
00:38:39,776 --> 00:38:42,320
you're gonna make a whole
bucketload of damn money.
779
00:38:42,404 --> 00:38:43,697
Yes, ma'am.
780
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,282
Special skills.
781
00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:47,367
All right, Christmas, who's next?
782
00:38:47,451 --> 00:38:50,328
♪ I took a chance on you, baby ♪
783
00:38:50,412 --> 00:38:53,749
♪ Oh, I'm a winner... ♪
784
00:38:57,419 --> 00:38:59,713
Got some inspiring words, Mr. Ramsey?
785
00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:02,758
- Thank you, Miss Rayleen.
- Yeah.
786
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:05,469
When I was in
the United States Army
787
00:39:05,552 --> 00:39:07,179
with Mr. Dwayne,
788
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:10,348
we used to run a course
like this twice a day.
789
00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:12,934
And there were machine guns
going off over our heads.
790
00:39:13,018 --> 00:39:15,896
We had bowls of rice
just once a day
791
00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:17,147
just to get us through the hardships.
792
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:18,940
Not about the rice right now.
793
00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:23,236
What Mr. Dwayne is saying
is life ain't about winning.
794
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,489
I mean, it is for some...
for those who win.
795
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:28,200
But for the rest of y'all...
796
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,368
the trick is to endure.
797
00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:34,372
Not let the kicks and the nasty words
798
00:39:34,456 --> 00:39:35,624
keep you down.
799
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:38,043
Then you wake up one day,
800
00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:41,296
and you'll be the last one standing.
801
00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:44,716
So...
802
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,347
Go get them Endurance badges, little boos!
803
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:52,641
Go! Come on.
804
00:39:53,850 --> 00:39:55,602
Smash, pick up those feet.
805
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:58,563
Pick up your feet!
806
00:40:00,482 --> 00:40:02,317
You go easy on my girl.
807
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:06,029
All right? You-you know she got
one leg shorter than the other?
808
00:40:06,113 --> 00:40:07,447
Ow!
809
00:40:07,531 --> 00:40:08,740
That poor thing can't afford
810
00:40:08,824 --> 00:40:10,450
to do nothing easy, and you know that.
811
00:40:10,534 --> 00:40:12,619
- Come on!
- Come on, y'all.
812
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:15,330
- Come on! Come on!
- Come on! Come on!
813
00:40:16,957 --> 00:40:20,335
This badge was made
for Hell-No Price.
814
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:23,797
She eats obstacles for
breakfast, lunch and dinner.
815
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,007
Hell-No! Hell-No!
816
00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:28,093
Hell-No!
817
00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:30,720
You done good, Hell-No.
818
00:40:41,815 --> 00:40:43,900
Smash, I figure you take things apart,
819
00:40:43,984 --> 00:40:47,154
you might be able
to put 'em back together.
820
00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,321
Go on.
821
00:41:14,764 --> 00:41:15,932
My boo!
822
00:41:22,439 --> 00:41:24,441
That Smash will surprise you.
823
00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:26,610
And I will, too.
824
00:41:26,693 --> 00:41:28,111
Promise.
825
00:41:28,195 --> 00:41:31,114
Got to have one special skill.
826
00:41:31,198 --> 00:41:33,742
This is almost impossible to mess up.
827
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,619
Even for you, Christmas.
828
00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:37,162
Baking badge.
829
00:41:37,245 --> 00:41:39,998
Bake a cake, get the badge.
830
00:41:40,081 --> 00:41:42,500
Can't you just give me one?
831
00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:46,004
- Are you a cheater?
- No, ma'am.
832
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:48,215
Oh, forgot the dang vanilla.
833
00:41:53,637 --> 00:41:55,180
What the "H" y'all doing?
834
00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:57,974
Baking badge.
835
00:41:58,058 --> 00:41:59,392
Why are y'all playing like this?
836
00:41:59,476 --> 00:42:02,812
Yeah, y'all suck at being girls.
837
00:42:02,896 --> 00:42:05,815
- Y'all suck at being girls.
- Yeah.
838
00:42:05,899 --> 00:42:07,901
- Why does she always do that to me?
- It's okay.
839
00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:09,277
You...
840
00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:12,197
you ain't even got no eye.
841
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:14,866
And you...
842
00:42:14,950 --> 00:42:18,286
you ain't even a real girl.
843
00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:19,704
All of y'all.
844
00:42:19,788 --> 00:42:21,289
I don't get y'all.
845
00:42:21,373 --> 00:42:23,500
How do any of y'all even get out of bed,
846
00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:25,877
being so weird?
847
00:42:25,961 --> 00:42:27,837
Shut up.
848
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:34,135
What'd you say, girl boy?
849
00:42:35,262 --> 00:42:37,889
I said, "Shut up."
850
00:42:37,973 --> 00:42:40,141
And my name's Joseph.
851
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:42,894
Call me Joseph like a normal person.
852
00:42:42,978 --> 00:42:45,563
You're not a normal person.
853
00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:47,148
Don't talk about him like that.
854
00:42:47,232 --> 00:42:48,566
Be sweet, Hell-No.
855
00:42:49,609 --> 00:42:51,444
We're just doing our badge.
856
00:42:51,528 --> 00:42:53,530
He didn't mean any harm.
857
00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:54,698
He ours.
858
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,533
He our fellow Birdie Scout.
859
00:42:56,616 --> 00:42:57,993
He's a freak.
860
00:42:58,076 --> 00:42:59,995
No, you are.
861
00:43:01,621 --> 00:43:03,039
Just let her say what she wants.
862
00:43:03,123 --> 00:43:04,708
Don't matter.
863
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:07,335
I need this badge, though.
864
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:12,340
It does too matter.
865
00:43:12,424 --> 00:43:13,842
We funna win.
866
00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,969
We funna get on that record.
867
00:43:17,971 --> 00:43:20,807
You're just one piece of dirt
on a bigger piece of dirt.
868
00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:24,311
We're gonna last forever,
869
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,730
and you're just gonna wash away.
870
00:43:37,282 --> 00:43:39,284
Oh, hell no.
871
00:43:42,871 --> 00:43:44,914
Let's get 'em!
872
00:44:01,473 --> 00:44:04,017
Flour!
873
00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:20,700
Stop!
874
00:44:37,050 --> 00:44:39,719
Act right, y'all! Act right!
875
00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:41,846
Holy mother...
876
00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:44,307
Piper, stop!
877
00:44:44,391 --> 00:44:46,017
Stop! You are sweet.
878
00:44:46,101 --> 00:44:47,727
You are sweet!
879
00:44:47,811 --> 00:44:49,896
Where are my young ladies?
880
00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:51,231
Right here.
881
00:44:53,942 --> 00:44:55,652
I have never seen
882
00:44:55,735 --> 00:45:00,281
such delinquency, such a lack of hygiene.
883
00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:03,952
Oh, the trash, the trash of it all!
884
00:45:04,035 --> 00:45:06,830
And y'all... y'all were raised better.
885
00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:09,249
Troop Zero...
886
00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:12,752
...you were so close.
887
00:45:12,836 --> 00:45:15,588
You blazed through
all the badges on your level.
888
00:45:15,672 --> 00:45:16,923
They sure in hell did.
889
00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:19,134
- They're sorry.
- I ain't sorry.
890
00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:22,387
Starting fights, acting ugly.
891
00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:24,639
Y'all suspended.
892
00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:28,476
Oh, come on.
893
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,438
Can't I just use the cafeteria
to get my Baking badge?
894
00:45:31,521 --> 00:45:33,898
No, ma'am. No.
895
00:45:33,982 --> 00:45:36,276
I can't even pretend
y'all are cute anymore.
896
00:45:36,359 --> 00:45:37,652
It's sad.
897
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,821
Sad, sad, sad.
898
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:42,532
And, my troop, y'all are on thin ice.
899
00:45:42,615 --> 00:45:44,576
Let's go. Get on out.
900
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:46,494
Piper. Come on, get.
901
00:45:48,329 --> 00:45:49,873
And y'all clean this mess up.
902
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,136
- Family special.
- Coming right up.
903
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,770
Think y'all would be happier just doing...
904
00:46:12,854 --> 00:46:17,567
I don't know... Bible school
or FFA or just watching TV.
905
00:46:19,235 --> 00:46:21,571
Whatever happened to watching TV?
906
00:46:21,654 --> 00:46:23,823
I can't give up.
907
00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:26,534
I mean, there must be
one badge I can earn.
908
00:46:26,618 --> 00:46:28,745
If y'all even get to Jamboree,
909
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:32,081
which you won't, y'all ain't gonna win.
910
00:46:32,165 --> 00:46:34,709
I mean, I'm sorry, but...
911
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:37,504
I wish someone had told me that.
912
00:46:37,587 --> 00:46:39,297
No Jamboree?
913
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:41,925
I made a dance, though.
914
00:46:42,008 --> 00:46:43,718
I really want to tell y'all
what you want to hear,
915
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:46,095
but this situation just ain't salvageable.
916
00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:51,184
Could've been gone from here.
917
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:52,852
I could've been famous.
918
00:46:52,936 --> 00:46:55,271
I wanted to leave a permanent record.
919
00:46:55,355 --> 00:46:57,732
We still can.
920
00:47:02,946 --> 00:47:04,155
Smash!
921
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:05,281
Quit it!
922
00:47:05,365 --> 00:47:06,616
Smash, come back.
923
00:47:06,699 --> 00:47:08,826
Calm down.
924
00:47:10,286 --> 00:47:11,329
Smash, come back!
925
00:47:11,412 --> 00:47:12,455
- No, come on!
- Come on, Smash.
926
00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:13,790
This ain't us.
927
00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:15,500
This is some candy-ass,
928
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:17,627
B-grade version of us
'cause we ain't got nobody
929
00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:19,504
- to show us how to be better.
- Hey!
930
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:21,548
Show us.
931
00:47:21,631 --> 00:47:24,467
Be that one for us, please.
932
00:47:24,551 --> 00:47:25,802
No one was that for me.
933
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:27,595
Yeah, well, it can be different now.
934
00:47:27,679 --> 00:47:29,472
It's never gonna be different.
935
00:47:29,556 --> 00:47:32,141
Your life is gonna be the same
as you are right now.
936
00:47:32,225 --> 00:47:34,143
The sooner you learn that, the better.
937
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:40,400
That can't be true.
938
00:47:40,483 --> 00:47:42,151
'Cause I'll die.
939
00:47:44,571 --> 00:47:46,197
You were running after her
940
00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:47,574
- just the same.
- That doesn't mean
941
00:47:47,657 --> 00:47:49,117
you can yell at her like that.
942
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:50,618
Will y'all help me
with this window?
943
00:47:51,953 --> 00:47:55,206
Sit down! Sit down.
944
00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:58,918
Okay?
945
00:47:59,002 --> 00:48:01,087
One badge. One more badge.
946
00:48:01,170 --> 00:48:03,047
Uh-uh. Give me that.
947
00:48:10,305 --> 00:48:13,474
Surviving in the Wilderness.
948
00:48:15,143 --> 00:48:17,020
Like Jesus.
949
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:31,784
Enjoy your suspension.
950
00:48:31,868 --> 00:48:33,870
Ow!
951
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:36,205
- Wow.
- Stay down, bed wetter.
952
00:48:36,289 --> 00:48:38,166
We do not stay down
953
00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:39,417
because they tell us to, Christmas.
954
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,085
That is a "no, ma'am."
955
00:48:43,963 --> 00:48:47,467
- Smash get a snack break?
- Hunger is good for you.
956
00:48:47,550 --> 00:48:50,053
You starving us. You putting us in danger.
957
00:48:50,136 --> 00:48:52,680
Y'all in danger every day.
958
00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:03,232
We ain't going into
the South Woods, are we?
959
00:49:03,316 --> 00:49:06,235
It's time y'all learned
to take it by the horns.
960
00:49:10,156 --> 00:49:11,407
Smash, wait up.
961
00:49:11,491 --> 00:49:12,909
Smash.
962
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:14,952
I heard someone died in there.
963
00:49:22,418 --> 00:49:24,462
Don't touch nothing.
964
00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:32,136
What was that? I'm ascared.
965
00:49:32,220 --> 00:49:34,263
Will it be fast when I die?
966
00:49:34,347 --> 00:49:35,807
Y'all get ahold of y'all selves.
967
00:49:46,192 --> 00:49:47,652
Go. Go.
968
00:49:51,906 --> 00:49:53,741
And it's really cool
969
00:49:53,825 --> 00:49:55,952
because the aliens, th-they'll hear us
970
00:49:56,035 --> 00:49:57,370
because the sound waves,
971
00:49:57,453 --> 00:49:59,288
they go out, out, out into the universe
972
00:49:59,372 --> 00:50:00,415
until they hit something, then...
973
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,166
That is not how it works.
974
00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:03,543
Yeah, it is. My mama said.
975
00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:04,877
All right, now, y'all.
976
00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:07,964
We sleeping here?
977
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:09,841
I'm not gonna sleep with Christmas.
978
00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:11,092
She funna pee on me.
979
00:50:11,175 --> 00:50:13,010
- I don't wet the bed.
- Yes-huh.
980
00:50:13,094 --> 00:50:14,721
Y'all stop acting ugly.
981
00:50:14,804 --> 00:50:16,639
Smash.
982
00:50:16,723 --> 00:50:17,890
All right, my boos.
983
00:50:17,974 --> 00:50:20,435
It's time y'all earned
that badge fair and square.
984
00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:21,978
You leaving us?
985
00:50:22,061 --> 00:50:23,855
We funna die.
986
00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:25,314
Ah, hell, hell no, I can't stay...
987
00:50:25,398 --> 00:50:27,400
Hell yes, Hell-No.
988
00:50:27,483 --> 00:50:29,402
And when y'all wake up
in the morning, y'all know that
989
00:50:29,485 --> 00:50:30,695
you spent the night in the wilderness,
990
00:50:30,778 --> 00:50:32,071
didn't no one help you.
991
00:50:32,155 --> 00:50:33,990
What if we don't...
992
00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:35,491
All right, prove 'em wrong.
993
00:50:35,575 --> 00:50:36,909
Make me proud.
994
00:50:36,993 --> 00:50:39,537
But what if we don't wake up?
995
00:50:57,472 --> 00:50:58,639
Yea, though I walk through
996
00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:00,099
the valley of the shadow of death...
997
00:51:01,601 --> 00:51:04,729
...I will fear no evil,
for thou art with me...
998
00:51:23,623 --> 00:51:26,292
It's rockin' WZPZ Rock.
999
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:29,170
Coming up, David Bowie's "Rebel Rebel."
1000
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,426
My dear and holy God.
1001
00:51:45,937 --> 00:51:48,981
♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪
1002
00:51:49,065 --> 00:51:53,110
♪ She's not sure
If you're a boy or a girl ♪
1003
00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:56,239
♪ Hey, babe, your hair's all right ♪
1004
00:51:57,657 --> 00:52:00,493
♪ Hey, babe, let's go out tonight ♪
1005
00:52:00,576 --> 00:52:04,121
♪ They put you down,
They say I'm wrong ♪
1006
00:52:04,205 --> 00:52:07,583
♪ You tacky thing,
You put them on ♪
1007
00:52:07,667 --> 00:52:09,794
♪ Rebel Rebel ♪
1008
00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:11,671
♪ You've torn your dress ♪
1009
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:15,758
♪ Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess ♪
1010
00:52:15,842 --> 00:52:17,260
♪ Rebel Rebel ♪
1011
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,428
♪ How could they know? ♪
1012
00:52:19,512 --> 00:52:22,723
♪ Hot tramp, I love you so ♪
1013
00:52:25,935 --> 00:52:27,645
♪ Don't ya? ♪
1014
00:52:29,230 --> 00:52:30,773
Can you see us better
1015
00:52:30,857 --> 00:52:32,608
when we're together like this?
1016
00:52:32,692 --> 00:52:34,986
Is our signal stronger?
1017
00:52:35,069 --> 00:52:36,571
I think it is.
1018
00:52:42,034 --> 00:52:44,078
- Oh, Smash.
- Smash.
1019
00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,416
If there is wild animals,
1020
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:51,294
I funna spit scuppernong seeds
in their eyes and blind them.
1021
00:52:51,377 --> 00:52:53,588
And then... then they'll
run off and be scared.
1022
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:55,840
They'll be the ones who's scared.
1023
00:52:55,923 --> 00:52:58,843
'Cause I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
1024
00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:06,893
Hell-No.
1025
00:53:06,976 --> 00:53:09,770
You're out of the circle of protection.
1026
00:53:09,854 --> 00:53:11,314
I don't need it.
1027
00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:12,773
- Yes, you do.
- Nuh-uh.
1028
00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:14,442
- Yes-huh.
- Nuh-uh.
1029
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,319
It's fixin' to be a meteor shower.
1030
00:53:16,402 --> 00:53:20,197
Just... just go over there
and look for it.
1031
00:53:20,281 --> 00:53:23,910
I'm responsible for you
not getting ate in the wilderness.
1032
00:53:23,993 --> 00:53:26,579
Now, come sleep with the rest of us.
1033
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:29,165
I can't.
1034
00:53:29,248 --> 00:53:31,417
- Why not?
- Because.
1035
00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:36,589
And it's not true
that I wet the bed, but...
1036
00:53:38,591 --> 00:53:40,426
...if I did,
1037
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:43,971
maybe, whenever I get
emotional or nervous,
1038
00:53:44,055 --> 00:53:46,807
and maybe that's when I'd pee on stuff.
1039
00:53:46,891 --> 00:53:49,143
If I did, I wouldn't know why.
1040
00:53:51,812 --> 00:53:54,899
I used to wet the bed.
1041
00:53:54,982 --> 00:53:57,234
Really?
1042
00:53:57,318 --> 00:53:59,278
Nah.
1043
00:54:01,113 --> 00:54:03,449
But if I did, I'd be shamed.
1044
00:54:03,532 --> 00:54:05,242
How come you pee the bed?
1045
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:08,162
- Can't help it?
- I don't.
1046
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,081
Okay.
1047
00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:18,089
But maybe if I did...
1048
00:54:18,172 --> 00:54:20,508
time was right after my mama's death,
1049
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:22,593
and then I couldn't stop.
1050
00:54:25,137 --> 00:54:29,016
And so, you-you can just go, you know.
1051
00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:31,602
I leave, and you die
all alone in the wild,
1052
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:33,187
covered in your own pee,
1053
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:34,855
and you'll miss every meteor shower
1054
00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:37,191
that will ever happen
the whole rest of your life
1055
00:54:37,274 --> 00:54:39,193
'cause you be dead.
1056
00:54:39,276 --> 00:54:42,697
I'm gonna tell you some scary
stories to keep you awake.
1057
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:46,117
- Please don't.
- Too late.
1058
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,370
One night, in the pouring rain,
1059
00:54:49,453 --> 00:54:53,207
a girl hears on the radio,
"Lock the doors.
1060
00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:55,668
There's a maniac!"
1061
00:54:55,751 --> 00:54:58,421
And all that was left of her...
1062
00:54:58,504 --> 00:55:00,840
was her hand,
1063
00:55:00,923 --> 00:55:04,427
scratching at the door.
1064
00:55:05,970 --> 00:55:09,640
And when she came out,
she never spoke again,
1065
00:55:09,724 --> 00:55:13,978
and her hair was bright white.
1066
00:55:14,061 --> 00:55:16,814
- Bright white?
- Yeah.
1067
00:55:23,154 --> 00:55:25,781
Christmas. Christmas.
1068
00:55:25,865 --> 00:55:27,783
- What do you want?
- Get up.
1069
00:55:27,867 --> 00:55:29,368
Get up now. Now.
1070
00:55:29,452 --> 00:55:30,870
Look.
1071
00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:51,223
Think they might have been peacemakers
1072
00:55:51,307 --> 00:55:53,142
sent from-from the giant caterpillar?
1073
00:55:53,225 --> 00:55:54,393
Ah, something bit me.
1074
00:55:54,477 --> 00:55:55,561
There is no giant caterpillar.
1075
00:55:55,644 --> 00:55:56,812
- Yeah, there is.
- Yeah, there is.
1076
00:55:56,896 --> 00:55:57,938
No, there isn't.
1077
00:55:58,022 --> 00:55:59,106
How do y'all believe in that?
1078
00:55:59,190 --> 00:56:00,357
Look what I found.
1079
00:56:00,441 --> 00:56:02,526
I brought scuppernongs.
1080
00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:04,361
- Hmm?
- Okay.
1081
00:56:04,445 --> 00:56:05,905
I want one.
1082
00:56:05,988 --> 00:56:08,115
- Three.
- Don't take all of them, now.
1083
00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:10,201
Give me some.
1084
00:56:10,284 --> 00:56:11,911
Mm-hmm.
1085
00:56:14,663 --> 00:56:17,500
Anyone comes for you again,
I'm gonna beat their ass
1086
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:20,503
back to their gosh damn swamp shack.
1087
00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:23,297
Just come at them
with hair like that.
1088
00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:29,762
My boos! Y'all did it!
1089
00:56:29,845 --> 00:56:31,722
Come on, get up.
1090
00:56:31,806 --> 00:56:33,599
You done it, Christmas.
1091
00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,768
There you go.
1092
00:56:35,851 --> 00:56:38,354
We funna go to Jamboree!
1093
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:40,064
Yes, ma'am.
1094
00:56:44,276 --> 00:56:46,403
We got it, Miss Massey.
1095
00:56:46,487 --> 00:56:48,405
We're gonna go to Jamboree.
1096
00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:49,698
Praise the living Jesus.
1097
00:56:49,782 --> 00:56:51,700
And we funna win, too.
1098
00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:52,910
We funna dance.
1099
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:54,620
Me and Christmas
made a dance that's amazing.
1100
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,373
Y'all have a lot to be proud of.
1101
00:56:57,456 --> 00:56:58,958
Y'all do. I'm not even playing.
1102
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:00,167
We're gonna go.
1103
00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:01,836
- We are.
- We're going.
1104
00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:05,756
Oh, precious.
1105
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:07,633
You're not.
1106
00:57:08,843 --> 00:57:10,261
We are.
1107
00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,596
They don't have a legitimate troop leader.
1108
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,557
It's so, so sad,
1109
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,642
but what I discovered last night
1110
00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:19,270
when I consulted statute 12,
1111
00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:21,897
section eight of the Birdie Scout Code...
1112
00:57:21,981 --> 00:57:24,191
Here it is.
1113
00:57:24,275 --> 00:57:27,153
Troop Mothers must not have
any prior arrests.
1114
00:57:27,236 --> 00:57:29,738
And, Miss Rayleen, don't you have one?
1115
00:57:29,822 --> 00:57:31,448
- No convictions.
- For an incident
1116
00:57:31,532 --> 00:57:32,867
in which a gentleman's tires were slashed,
1117
00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,493
his trailer broken into,
1118
00:57:34,577 --> 00:57:36,328
and all his mounted deer heads
spray-painted pink.
1119
00:57:36,412 --> 00:57:38,330
- You can't prove it was me.
- It was you.
1120
00:57:38,414 --> 00:57:40,833
- Nuh-uh.
- Yes-huh.
1121
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:47,047
That gentleman, if you recall...
and I think you do...
1122
00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:48,924
was some fool named Yellow-Teeth Davis
1123
00:57:49,008 --> 00:57:51,510
that saw a lot of silly-ass girls
back in the day.
1124
00:57:51,594 --> 00:57:54,013
And the reason why
Yellow-Teeth Davis wasn't at home
1125
00:57:54,096 --> 00:57:56,765
when his trailer got broke into
is 'cause he was running around
1126
00:57:56,849 --> 00:57:58,517
with one or more of those silly-ass girls
1127
00:57:58,601 --> 00:58:00,728
instead of being
at my house like he promised
1128
00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:02,897
to pick me up to take me
to Boutte's Chicken.
1129
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,232
And then I started wondering
what was wrong with me
1130
00:58:05,316 --> 00:58:07,902
that made him treat me like trash.
1131
00:58:07,985 --> 00:58:09,862
And then I waited so long figuring out
1132
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:12,239
what was wrong with me
that I didn't go to law school
1133
00:58:12,323 --> 00:58:13,866
and I missed my whole life.
1134
00:58:18,954 --> 00:58:21,081
But lately, I've been wondering,
1135
00:58:21,165 --> 00:58:22,875
"You know what, Rayleen?
1136
00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:24,960
Who cares what people want?
1137
00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:26,921
What do you want?"
1138
00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:29,423
So, from now on, my life is on me,
1139
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:31,383
not some fool with crowded yellow teeth
1140
00:58:31,467 --> 00:58:33,219
that put dead deer all over his walls.
1141
00:58:33,302 --> 00:58:35,012
It's on me.
1142
00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:36,847
And I feel sorry for you, Miss Massey,
1143
00:58:36,931 --> 00:58:38,432
'cause you gonna spend your whole life
1144
00:58:38,515 --> 00:58:40,226
trying to impress fools,
1145
00:58:40,309 --> 00:58:43,229
and you ain't never gonna
be enough for them, either.
1146
00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:45,439
What ever happened to you, Krystal?
1147
00:58:50,611 --> 00:58:52,863
You a bad example.
1148
00:58:52,947 --> 00:58:54,657
This is my example.
1149
00:58:57,326 --> 00:59:01,330
I'm going to law school,
you sad snake lady.
1150
00:59:01,413 --> 00:59:03,540
I don't like being like this.
1151
00:59:03,624 --> 00:59:06,043
I don't like being Nasty Miss Massey.
1152
00:59:07,378 --> 00:59:09,546
Y'all will find life gets easier
1153
00:59:09,630 --> 00:59:11,507
if you don't want so much.
1154
00:59:13,676 --> 00:59:16,262
- Hey!
- "Hey" yourself.
1155
00:59:16,345 --> 00:59:18,264
What'd you mean, law school?
1156
00:59:18,347 --> 00:59:20,975
I mean I'm out. I'm out.
1157
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:24,812
I can see about law school.
I can see about a job.
1158
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:26,313
You leaving me?
1159
00:59:26,397 --> 00:59:29,483
There's no leaving you
if I was never with you.
1160
00:59:29,566 --> 00:59:31,485
You're supposed to stay here with me.
1161
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:35,322
How can you ask me to be there for you
1162
00:59:35,406 --> 00:59:37,908
when I was never there for myself?
1163
00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:43,497
So, is it over?
1164
00:59:45,249 --> 00:59:47,876
We find a new Troop Mama now.
1165
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:49,670
Everyone we know got felonies.
1166
00:59:49,753 --> 00:59:51,588
There ain't no one else.
1167
00:59:51,672 --> 00:59:53,215
Why'd you make me want it so bad?
1168
00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:57,845
I never wanted anything, and I was fine!
1169
00:59:57,928 --> 00:59:59,596
Hell-No!
1170
01:00:02,224 --> 01:00:04,143
Why'd you do this to me?
1171
01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:05,394
I was happy before this.
1172
01:00:05,477 --> 01:00:08,772
I was happy before I thought
I could talk to anyone or be permanent.
1173
01:00:08,856 --> 01:00:10,774
Why'd you make me so unsatisfied?
1174
01:00:12,026 --> 01:00:13,652
Stay down!
1175
01:00:13,736 --> 01:00:16,530
You can't tell me to stay down!
1176
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:18,907
Jesus wept.
1177
01:00:26,415 --> 01:00:27,750
Hell-No!
1178
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:30,002
- Get away from me!
- Don't leave me!
1179
01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:31,462
Why don't you just leave me alone!
1180
01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:32,588
No!
1181
01:00:32,671 --> 01:00:34,965
We funna be permanent!
1182
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:43,015
You're a dang fool.
1183
01:00:43,098 --> 01:00:45,017
Nuh-uh.
1184
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:47,478
- Yes-huh.
- Nuh-uh!
1185
01:00:48,854 --> 01:00:50,647
No one ever chased me before.
1186
01:00:53,776 --> 01:00:56,278
Here's your damn sash.
1187
01:01:11,085 --> 01:01:13,045
Now, you said you borrowed it,
1188
01:01:13,128 --> 01:01:15,798
but you didn't say whether
they knew you borrowed it.
1189
01:01:15,881 --> 01:01:18,050
Do they know you borrowed it?
1190
01:01:21,095 --> 01:01:23,806
Now, hold up. Hold on.
1191
01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:25,641
These little boos need a mama.
1192
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:27,851
Uh, Miss Rayleen, I ain't their mama.
1193
01:01:27,935 --> 01:01:30,229
You are now.
1194
01:01:34,733 --> 01:01:36,235
Boss, you there?
1195
01:01:36,318 --> 01:01:37,778
Let me call you back.
1196
01:01:40,072 --> 01:01:43,700
You ask for the boss man,
the boss man steps up.
1197
01:01:43,784 --> 01:01:46,620
- Big Eddie, let's go.
- Joseph!
1198
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,455
Sam, Buddy, Robby, let's go!
1199
01:01:48,539 --> 01:01:51,917
Miss Massey gonna learn a thing or two.
1200
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,294
Nancy. Mary.
1201
01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:55,671
Let's go.
1202
01:01:55,754 --> 01:01:57,798
Y'all gonna want to see this.
1203
01:01:57,881 --> 01:01:59,633
- ♪ Oh, Lord, you know ♪
- Here we go.
1204
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:01,051
♪ I can hardly wait... ♪
1205
01:02:01,135 --> 01:02:02,928
Look at that, boss.
1206
01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:04,388
Hell-No!
1207
01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:06,098
- Hey, guys!
- Yeah!
1208
01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:07,766
Come on, fall out.
1209
01:02:07,850 --> 01:02:10,018
♪ I see those per-per-pearly gates ♪
1210
01:02:10,102 --> 01:02:14,398
♪ I'll walk dem golden stairs
When I die, when I die ♪
1211
01:02:14,481 --> 01:02:17,067
♪ Well, well, well,
I'm gonna walk ♪
1212
01:02:17,151 --> 01:02:19,403
♪ Up dem golden stairs ♪
1213
01:02:19,486 --> 01:02:22,781
♪ 'Cause I know my Jesus
Answers all my prayers... ♪
1214
01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:25,784
Will you do the honors, Rayleen?
1215
01:02:25,868 --> 01:02:27,911
♪ To my home on high ♪
1216
01:02:27,995 --> 01:02:33,459
♪ I'll walk dem golden stairs
When I die, when I die. ♪
1217
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:35,586
Principal Massey,
may I have a word, ma'am?
1218
01:02:35,669 --> 01:02:37,629
I ain't got time for this, Ramsey Flint.
1219
01:02:37,713 --> 01:02:39,006
Listen, devil woman.
1220
01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:40,799
I read your rule book.
1221
01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:43,677
Nobody beat the boss man
when it come to rule books.
1222
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:48,474
Nothing in that book say
the Troop Mother has to be female.
1223
01:02:48,557 --> 01:02:52,603
Therefore, I am proud
to be the Troop Mother
1224
01:02:52,686 --> 01:02:54,813
for Birdie Scout Troop Zero of Wiggly.
1225
01:02:54,897 --> 01:02:58,233
There are ways things are done, Mr. Flint.
1226
01:02:58,317 --> 01:03:00,944
What kind of world
would it be if every homely,
1227
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:03,864
strange little girl
thought she could just go out
1228
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:05,616
and do whatever she wanted?
1229
01:03:05,699 --> 01:03:09,411
To be laughed at
and humiliated and ruined?
1230
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:11,622
I'm helping them more than you do.
1231
01:03:11,705 --> 01:03:14,374
You think this was easy for me?
1232
01:03:15,751 --> 01:03:18,128
These are our girls. All of us.
1233
01:03:18,212 --> 01:03:20,005
Whole damn town of Wiggly.
1234
01:03:20,088 --> 01:03:22,090
I don't care how many eyes they got
1235
01:03:22,174 --> 01:03:24,051
or who wet the bed or...
1236
01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:27,095
if some of them debatable as girls.
1237
01:03:27,179 --> 01:03:31,308
They our Birdies,
and I'm their Troop Mama.
1238
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:33,685
You tell her, Ramsey.
1239
01:03:35,479 --> 01:03:38,232
How you gonna pay the $500 entry fee?
1240
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:40,359
Son of a puppy.
1241
01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:43,153
Five...
1242
01:03:43,237 --> 01:03:44,947
It costs money to pay
for these judges' time.
1243
01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:47,449
You got $500, Ramsey Flint?
1244
01:03:47,533 --> 01:03:48,784
You don't.
1245
01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:52,663
Because Ramsey Flint,
he just keeps on losing.
1246
01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:03,840
You know I'd give you
1247
01:04:03,924 --> 01:04:06,343
the whole gosh damn
solar system if I could.
1248
01:04:06,426 --> 01:04:08,303
Yeah, I know that.
1249
01:04:16,019 --> 01:04:18,146
Mr. Ramsey?
1250
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:24,695
I know I've been owing you 50 for a while.
1251
01:04:24,778 --> 01:04:26,071
Thanks.
1252
01:04:26,154 --> 01:04:28,323
And this is for Big Sam's legal fees.
1253
01:04:29,408 --> 01:04:31,827
And the broken furniture.
1254
01:04:31,910 --> 01:04:35,998
Buddy's public... urination.
1255
01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:37,791
A-And Robby's truancy.
1256
01:04:37,874 --> 01:04:40,460
I-I'm sorry it took me so long
to get it to you, Ramsey.
1257
01:04:40,544 --> 01:04:42,963
That's all right.
1258
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:45,591
You know what for.
1259
01:04:45,674 --> 01:04:48,010
- Yeah.
- Here you go, Ramsey.
1260
01:04:48,093 --> 01:04:49,886
Oh. Thank you.
1261
01:04:49,970 --> 01:04:51,847
- Here's mine.
- Thank you.
1262
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:53,515
Ramsey, I got 17.
1263
01:04:56,602 --> 01:04:59,730
What you don't seem
to understand, Miss Massey,
1264
01:04:59,813 --> 01:05:02,566
I'm the boss man,
1265
01:05:02,649 --> 01:05:05,694
and we going to the Birdie Jamboree.
1266
01:05:07,487 --> 01:05:09,906
And we funna kick everybody's ass.
1267
01:05:09,990 --> 01:05:11,241
Yeah!
1268
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:13,493
- Good day, ma'am.
- Yeah, Ramsey!
1269
01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:14,953
- Let's fall out!
- Falling out.
1270
01:05:15,037 --> 01:05:16,955
All right, here we go.
1271
01:05:18,832 --> 01:05:20,792
♪ No more to roam ♪
1272
01:05:20,876 --> 01:05:23,545
♪ In the search of fortune and fame ♪
1273
01:05:23,629 --> 01:05:25,756
♪ The hand of fate... ♪
1274
01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:28,342
If it's all gonna be okay,
1275
01:05:28,425 --> 01:05:31,511
will you please give me a sign?
1276
01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:33,472
Anything?
1277
01:05:39,102 --> 01:05:41,104
Look, I know
one thing... y'all funna win.
1278
01:05:41,188 --> 01:05:43,231
- Oh...
- No, I can feel it.
1279
01:05:43,315 --> 01:05:46,151
That's gas. You eat like
you got a train to catch.
1280
01:05:46,234 --> 01:05:47,444
Nah.
1281
01:05:47,527 --> 01:05:49,279
What if I lose in front of everybody?
1282
01:05:49,363 --> 01:05:50,864
Ah, so what?
1283
01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:56,203
Boss, get over here.
1284
01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:58,246
Yes, sir.
1285
01:06:01,375 --> 01:06:02,959
Sit here.
1286
01:06:05,504 --> 01:06:09,257
Boss, you know I lose
in front of everybody
1287
01:06:09,341 --> 01:06:10,717
- every day.
- Mm-hmm.
1288
01:06:10,801 --> 01:06:12,386
Sure as hell do.
1289
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:16,306
When the judge says to me it's over,
1290
01:06:16,390 --> 01:06:19,226
I go over to the prosecution,
and I shake their hand.
1291
01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,144
Give me your hand.
1292
01:06:21,228 --> 01:06:24,106
'Cause that show them they may beat me,
1293
01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:26,233
but I'm strong as hell,
1294
01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:29,403
and one day, maybe tomorrow,
1295
01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,613
I'll kick their ass.
1296
01:06:31,697 --> 01:06:33,949
Right?
1297
01:06:34,032 --> 01:06:36,284
But you still lost.
1298
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:41,289
Yeah, boss, but it's the principle.
1299
01:06:43,709 --> 01:06:46,086
- What?
- Forget it.
1300
01:06:46,169 --> 01:06:48,880
- You a little young for it.
- Christmas!
1301
01:06:48,964 --> 01:06:50,173
Christmas!
1302
01:06:50,257 --> 01:06:52,968
Not too long. Big day tomorrow.
1303
01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:55,303
Y'all gonna win. I can feel it. I know it.
1304
01:06:55,387 --> 01:06:56,930
You know you're drunk again.
1305
01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:57,931
Nah.
1306
01:06:58,014 --> 01:06:58,974
You're drunk.
1307
01:06:59,057 --> 01:07:00,517
Yeah, he drunk as all hell.
1308
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,227
- You drunk.
- Yeah.
1309
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:06,148
And you the best damn employee I ever had.
1310
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:08,734
Well, I'm the only one that
hasn't stole from you, so...
1311
01:07:10,819 --> 01:07:14,948
You know, I-I don't want you
breaking my daughter's heart.
1312
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:17,451
Well, it's gonna break
if she let one of those
1313
01:07:17,534 --> 01:07:19,619
nasty girls tell her who she is.
1314
01:07:19,703 --> 01:07:22,038
Well, now, that ain't what I mean.
1315
01:07:22,122 --> 01:07:23,832
What do you mean?
1316
01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:25,459
You could, uh...
1317
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:28,879
you could stay, right?
1318
01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:32,883
I can't.
1319
01:07:32,966 --> 01:07:35,302
There's a spot at Emory.
I start in the fall.
1320
01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:37,304
Yeah. All right.
1321
01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:40,682
I-I know. I know.
1322
01:07:40,766 --> 01:07:44,269
We'll be fine.
1323
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:46,229
We'll be just fine.
1324
01:07:50,567 --> 01:07:52,152
Come on.
1325
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:53,862
Hurry up!
1326
01:07:53,945 --> 01:07:55,655
Come on, get on, get on.
1327
01:07:57,491 --> 01:07:59,367
Here you go, honey.
1328
01:07:59,451 --> 01:08:01,369
Here you go.
1329
01:08:04,498 --> 01:08:06,249
Here you go, baby.
1330
01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:08,418
- What it is, Dwayne?
- What you say, boss?
1331
01:08:08,502 --> 01:08:12,047
Where'd you get that bike?
Dwayne, you are on parole.
1332
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:15,133
I'm gonna give it back. I...
Look, I'm here for protection.
1333
01:08:15,217 --> 01:08:17,135
Yeah, I just, I just want to do
1334
01:08:17,219 --> 01:08:18,845
something nice, Miss Rayleen.
1335
01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:21,932
Dear God, blanket us with protection,
1336
01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:23,767
and I ask, God,
1337
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,603
give these children
a long life with no fears.
1338
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:29,105
And that you put the love
that's on your heart
1339
01:08:29,189 --> 01:08:30,148
unto my heart.
1340
01:08:30,232 --> 01:08:32,150
Shut your face up.
1341
01:08:32,234 --> 01:08:34,820
You don't know what you talking about.
1342
01:08:34,903 --> 01:08:36,404
See you in Marietta.
1343
01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:02,305
Hey, that's my motorcycle.
1344
01:09:02,389 --> 01:09:04,015
He stole that.
1345
01:09:55,025 --> 01:09:57,152
All right.
1346
01:09:57,235 --> 01:09:58,904
Here we are.
1347
01:10:02,490 --> 01:10:04,159
Prepare for battle.
1348
01:10:16,588 --> 01:10:19,716
I want y'all to know that y'all my boos.
1349
01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:22,093
And I wish I had y'all around
1350
01:10:22,177 --> 01:10:25,722
when I was little and dumb and sweet.
1351
01:10:27,641 --> 01:10:30,101
Come on, we funna win.
1352
01:10:30,185 --> 01:10:32,395
We funna win! Come on.
1353
01:10:40,528 --> 01:10:42,530
Hey.
1354
01:10:42,614 --> 01:10:44,658
"Hey" yourself.
1355
01:10:46,493 --> 01:10:48,912
Uh, if I was, um...
1356
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:55,752
If I got on the record, I'd be important.
1357
01:10:57,462 --> 01:10:59,631
And you'd stay here with me.
1358
01:10:59,714 --> 01:11:02,008
Oh, God.
1359
01:11:02,092 --> 01:11:04,928
I'm gonna be all alone again.
1360
01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:06,429
You are not alone.
1361
01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:08,014
- Yeah, I am.
- No...
1362
01:11:08,098 --> 01:11:09,557
And you don't need that record.
1363
01:11:09,641 --> 01:11:12,310
- Yeah, I do.
- No, you don't.
1364
01:11:14,354 --> 01:11:15,981
Who's smarter, me or you?
1365
01:11:16,064 --> 01:11:18,692
- You.
- Right now.
1366
01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:21,903
When you speak, it creates a sound wave,
1367
01:11:21,987 --> 01:11:24,489
and then it vibrates through the air,
1368
01:11:24,572 --> 01:11:26,449
and it keeps traveling out.
1369
01:11:26,533 --> 01:11:28,159
That means, if someone's listening
1370
01:11:28,243 --> 01:11:30,870
for life on this Earth,
they gonna hear you.
1371
01:11:30,954 --> 01:11:32,706
Are you sure that's even true?
1372
01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:35,917
Shoot, no.
1373
01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:38,086
Probably not.
1374
01:11:42,173 --> 01:11:43,883
Probably all you can wish for
1375
01:11:43,967 --> 01:11:46,594
is someone fool enough to show up.
1376
01:11:46,678 --> 01:11:47,971
Hey, you want me to help?
1377
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:49,556
I got it, I got it.
1378
01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:51,641
- I don't mind helping.
- I got it.
1379
01:11:51,725 --> 01:11:52,767
Now, the wings, you can't...
1380
01:11:52,851 --> 01:11:54,602
Hey, I don't want them to bend.
1381
01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:56,604
- Big Eddie, you got that?
- I got it.
1382
01:11:56,688 --> 01:11:58,732
- I-I'm cool. I got it.
- All right. I'm happy to help.
1383
01:12:00,191 --> 01:12:02,360
Hold on to that rocket, all right?
1384
01:12:02,444 --> 01:12:04,237
Coming down. Coming down.
1385
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,239
- Let's fall out!
- Coming down!
1386
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:07,949
We funna kick some butt today.
1387
01:12:08,033 --> 01:12:09,701
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
1388
01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:12,120
- Got it?
- Pull it on down.
1389
01:12:12,203 --> 01:12:14,164
I got it, I got it, I got it.
1390
01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:16,750
Oh, oh, oh, I ain't got it.
I ain't got it.
1391
01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:31,306
Don't touch.
1392
01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:32,849
Stop.
1393
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:37,562
Bed wetter.
1394
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:46,946
All right. Troop Zero, Wiggly.
1395
01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:48,490
Oh.
1396
01:12:48,573 --> 01:12:51,284
Precious. And you are?
1397
01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:52,702
Oh, uh, Ramsey Flint.
1398
01:12:52,786 --> 01:12:54,454
- Troop Mama.
- Oh.
1399
01:12:54,537 --> 01:12:56,414
Isn't that something?
1400
01:12:56,498 --> 01:12:58,124
Hmm.
1401
01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,585
Did y'all bring your... your fees?
1402
01:13:00,668 --> 01:13:02,295
Oh. Of course I got it.
1403
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:03,838
Yeah, that's part of Jamboree.
1404
01:13:03,922 --> 01:13:05,340
Yeah, there you go.
1405
01:13:05,423 --> 01:13:06,800
Thank you.
1406
01:13:06,883 --> 01:13:08,635
I'm gonna need you to count that, please.
1407
01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:10,428
Well, we look forward
1408
01:13:10,512 --> 01:13:13,306
to seeing what you little girls
are made of.
1409
01:13:15,016 --> 01:13:16,601
Uh-huh. What is it, angel?
1410
01:13:16,684 --> 01:13:19,604
We're made of organs and tissues.
1411
01:13:21,397 --> 01:13:23,316
You guys got a latrine here?
1412
01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:24,818
Mm-hmm, we do have a latrine.
1413
01:13:24,901 --> 01:13:27,487
We have about eight latrines all around.
1414
01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:28,905
They are made for little girls,
1415
01:13:28,988 --> 01:13:30,615
so you're gonna have to squeeze in there.
1416
01:13:30,698 --> 01:13:32,033
I could just use the woods.
1417
01:13:32,117 --> 01:13:33,952
Do not use the woods. I repeat,
1418
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:36,412
- do not use the woods.
- All right. All right.
1419
01:13:36,496 --> 01:13:38,248
Well, y'all have some time to rehearse,
1420
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:41,960
and then we will see you
over in the tent at 4:00.
1421
01:13:42,043 --> 01:13:43,378
Let's fall out.
1422
01:13:43,461 --> 01:13:46,131
See you by 4:00 for the show.
1423
01:13:46,214 --> 01:13:48,716
Fly, Birdies, to that tent,
1424
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:51,469
'cause at Jamboree, fun and talent abound.
1425
01:13:51,553 --> 01:13:53,346
Don't get too loose with that fun, though,
1426
01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:55,807
'cause you are being judged.
1427
01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:58,309
Let's have a blast.
1428
01:13:58,393 --> 01:14:00,520
The tent at 4:00.
1429
01:14:27,839 --> 01:14:29,591
They are judging us. Do you understand?
1430
01:14:29,674 --> 01:14:31,176
Act right.
1431
01:14:35,346 --> 01:14:38,099
Welcome, Birdies, to Jamboree.
1432
01:14:38,183 --> 01:14:41,060
Oh.
1433
01:14:41,144 --> 01:14:42,937
Yes.
1434
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,232
Now...
1435
01:14:46,316 --> 01:14:48,902
you have all worked so hard to get here,
1436
01:14:48,985 --> 01:14:51,070
and that work is not gonna stop now,
1437
01:14:51,154 --> 01:14:53,323
because this... this is the place
1438
01:14:53,406 --> 01:14:55,283
where we're gonna see
the best of the best.
1439
01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:58,077
And who knows?
There may be a little bit of
1440
01:14:58,161 --> 01:15:01,122
international prestige
in with this as well.
1441
01:15:01,206 --> 01:15:03,499
Uh, Dr. Persad.
1442
01:15:05,752 --> 01:15:08,004
Young ladies are here on this Earth
1443
01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:11,424
to create beauty
wherever they set their feet.
1444
01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:13,384
So go on, now.
1445
01:15:13,468 --> 01:15:15,720
Show us your gifts.
1446
01:15:15,803 --> 01:15:18,681
We're gonna begin
with Troop 28 from Moultrie.
1447
01:15:18,765 --> 01:15:20,391
Let's do this.
1448
01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:39,035
Knock-knock. Who's there?
1449
01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:41,412
- The Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
1450
01:15:41,496 --> 01:15:45,833
Y'all, get ready for Troop 17
from Alberta.
1451
01:15:45,917 --> 01:15:51,839
♪ Am I a soldier of the cross ♪
1452
01:15:51,923 --> 01:15:56,052
♪ A follower of the lamb ♪
1453
01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,638
♪ And shall I fear... ♪
1454
01:15:58,721 --> 01:16:01,975
The reigning champions of
Jamboree need no introduction.
1455
01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:04,894
Please welcome Troop Five from Wiggly.
1456
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,775
You funna puke, Anne-Claire?
1457
01:16:52,859 --> 01:16:55,611
I get nervous in front of strangers.
1458
01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:58,781
Look, you funna puke,
1459
01:16:58,865 --> 01:17:01,951
just reach out, and one of us
will hold your hand, okay?
1460
01:17:25,475 --> 01:17:28,227
Whatever you do, don't lose the song.
1461
01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:29,979
We got this, boos.
1462
01:17:30,063 --> 01:17:31,647
Y'all my boos.
1463
01:17:31,731 --> 01:17:32,940
All right, quit.
1464
01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:35,193
Funna give me lice.
1465
01:17:35,276 --> 01:17:38,488
How precious.
1466
01:17:38,571 --> 01:17:41,574
Oh, you still ain't got no eye.
1467
01:17:42,992 --> 01:17:45,703
Well, you ain't got no talent,
you snake from hell!
1468
01:17:45,787 --> 01:17:47,914
Come on.
1469
01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:51,125
Next up, we have a new troop.
1470
01:17:51,209 --> 01:17:54,379
A troop that is, uh,
a number that I didn't know
1471
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:56,464
was a real number until today.
1472
01:17:56,547 --> 01:17:57,924
Please welcome, uh,
1473
01:17:58,007 --> 01:18:00,134
Troop Zero from Wiggly.
1474
01:18:00,218 --> 01:18:01,803
- Yeah!
- All right!
1475
01:18:01,886 --> 01:18:02,929
Come on!
1476
01:18:22,240 --> 01:18:27,245
♪ Ground Control to Major Tom ♪
1477
01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:34,544
♪ Ground Control to Major Tom ♪
1478
01:18:34,627 --> 01:18:37,171
Why are they singing?
1479
01:18:37,255 --> 01:18:39,173
♪ Take your protein pills ♪
1480
01:18:39,257 --> 01:18:41,884
♪ And put your helmet on ♪
1481
01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:43,886
- Is that a boy?
- Ten.
1482
01:18:43,970 --> 01:18:46,264
- ♪ Ground Control ♪
- Nine.
1483
01:18:46,347 --> 01:18:49,183
- ♪ To Major Tom ♪
- Eight. Seven.
1484
01:18:49,267 --> 01:18:52,645
- Six. Five.
- ♪ Commencing countdown ♪
1485
01:18:52,728 --> 01:18:53,771
♪ Engines on ♪
1486
01:18:53,855 --> 01:18:54,856
Four.
1487
01:18:54,939 --> 01:18:56,065
Three.
1488
01:18:56,149 --> 01:18:58,151
Two.
1489
01:18:58,234 --> 01:18:59,777
- ♪ Check ignition ♪
- One.
1490
01:18:59,861 --> 01:19:01,946
- ♪ And may God's love ♪
- Liftoff!
1491
01:19:02,029 --> 01:19:04,782
♪ Be with you ♪
1492
01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:21,591
♪ This is Major Tom to Ground Control ♪
1493
01:19:21,674 --> 01:19:25,386
♪ I'm stepping through the door ♪
1494
01:19:27,013 --> 01:19:29,265
♪ And I'm floating in a most ♪
1495
01:19:29,348 --> 01:19:32,768
♪ Peculiar way ♪
1496
01:19:32,852 --> 01:19:34,937
- Well, this is unusual.
- ♪ And the stars ♪
1497
01:19:35,021 --> 01:19:38,524
♪ Look very different today ♪
1498
01:19:38,608 --> 01:19:41,319
Yeah, she's unusual.
1499
01:19:41,402 --> 01:19:43,905
♪ This is Ground Control ♪
1500
01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:46,574
♪ To Major Tom ♪
1501
01:19:46,657 --> 01:19:50,703
- ♪ You've really made the grade ♪
- You stink!
1502
01:19:50,786 --> 01:19:53,372
- ♪ And the papers ♪
- Get off the stage, you weirdos!
1503
01:19:53,456 --> 01:19:54,665
♪ Want to know whose shirts ♪
1504
01:19:54,749 --> 01:19:57,043
- ♪ You wear ♪
- Watch your mouth, girl.
1505
01:19:57,126 --> 01:19:58,419
One-eyed freak!
1506
01:19:58,503 --> 01:20:00,004
- Shh. Stop it.
- ♪ Now it's time ♪
1507
01:20:00,087 --> 01:20:03,466
♪ To leave the capsule... ♪
1508
01:20:04,842 --> 01:20:06,677
Hey, bed wetter!
1509
01:20:11,265 --> 01:20:13,184
He's not a girl!
1510
01:20:13,267 --> 01:20:15,394
Huh-uh. Uh, s-stop that music.
1511
01:20:27,907 --> 01:20:29,951
Don't give up, boss.
1512
01:20:56,060 --> 01:20:58,104
Ew. That is disgusting.
1513
01:21:09,574 --> 01:21:12,201
Get off the stage.
1514
01:21:12,285 --> 01:21:14,203
You turn that back on.
1515
01:21:14,287 --> 01:21:16,205
- Turn that back on.
- Rayleen, stop.
1516
01:21:16,289 --> 01:21:17,456
Enough.
1517
01:21:20,793 --> 01:21:23,254
My name is Christmas Flint.
1518
01:21:26,424 --> 01:21:28,759
I am a human female.
1519
01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:36,809
Sometimes I pee myself when I get nervous.
1520
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:40,896
I don't know why.
1521
01:21:43,024 --> 01:21:45,651
I don't want to.
1522
01:21:47,653 --> 01:21:50,156
I just want to tell you...
1523
01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:52,408
I hope...
1524
01:21:56,037 --> 01:21:58,372
...hope you live a good life.
1525
01:22:00,333 --> 01:22:01,751
And I hope you have a friend.
1526
01:22:03,628 --> 01:22:06,797
I hope you got everything I got.
1527
01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:12,845
♪ Ground Control to Major Tom ♪
1528
01:22:12,928 --> 01:22:15,389
♪ Your circuit's dead ♪
1529
01:22:15,473 --> 01:22:18,059
♪ There's something wrong ♪
1530
01:22:18,142 --> 01:22:22,313
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1531
01:22:22,396 --> 01:22:26,400
♪ Can you hear me,
Major Tom? ♪
1532
01:22:26,484 --> 01:22:30,154
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1533
01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:31,781
Oh, my God!
1534
01:22:31,864 --> 01:22:33,449
They nasty!
1535
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:35,868
- ♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
- They nasty!
1536
01:22:35,951 --> 01:22:39,789
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1537
01:22:39,872 --> 01:22:42,249
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1538
01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:43,918
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1539
01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:48,798
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1540
01:22:48,881 --> 01:22:52,927
♪ Can you hear me,
Major Tom? ♪
1541
01:22:54,512 --> 01:22:57,640
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1542
01:22:57,723 --> 01:23:04,730
♪ Can you hear me, Major Tom? ♪
1543
01:23:26,502 --> 01:23:28,212
Yeah!
1544
01:23:52,445 --> 01:23:54,196
Yeah!
1545
01:23:56,031 --> 01:23:59,368
Oh, my boos! Kill, kill, kill!
1546
01:23:59,452 --> 01:24:01,078
Solid gold!
1547
01:24:01,162 --> 01:24:02,830
Yeah! That's my boy.
1548
01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,263
Oh, my beautiful Birdies.
1549
01:24:19,346 --> 01:24:21,682
We have seen some examples today:
1550
01:24:21,766 --> 01:24:24,560
of how to be...
1551
01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:27,480
and how not to be.
1552
01:24:27,563 --> 01:24:31,567
Y'all, we've come to possibly
1553
01:24:31,650 --> 01:24:33,319
the most exciting part of the day.
1554
01:24:33,402 --> 01:24:36,447
Dr. Persad is gonna hand out the awards.
1555
01:24:36,530 --> 01:24:38,783
Here he is. Dr. Persad.
1556
01:24:49,335 --> 01:24:53,964
We were really touched by
the courage every troop showed.
1557
01:24:54,048 --> 01:24:56,967
It wasn't an easy call to make, because...
1558
01:24:57,051 --> 01:25:00,763
what does "the best"
even mean in the big picture?
1559
01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:04,600
Who decides what's good, what's worth it?
1560
01:25:05,893 --> 01:25:08,479
Who knows?
1561
01:25:08,562 --> 01:25:11,649
The winner of this year's Jamboree...
1562
01:25:11,732 --> 01:25:15,861
and the troop whose voice
will go into outer space
1563
01:25:15,945 --> 01:25:18,405
is Troop Five from Wiggly.
1564
01:25:18,489 --> 01:25:22,660
Congratulations to our
ambassadors of the human race.
1565
01:25:22,743 --> 01:25:25,538
You all right, boo?
1566
01:25:25,621 --> 01:25:29,333
If there's life out
there, they'll know about you.
1567
01:25:31,961 --> 01:25:35,339
Thank you, and
congratulations to Troop Five.
1568
01:25:35,422 --> 01:25:37,550
You sparkly Birdies.
1569
01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:39,677
You sequined lovelies.
1570
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:42,179
Oh, inspiring, inspiring.
1571
01:25:42,263 --> 01:25:44,348
How inspiring in all capital letters...
1572
01:25:44,431 --> 01:25:46,058
Congratulations.
1573
01:25:47,601 --> 01:25:49,937
You gonna be okay, Christmas?
1574
01:25:50,020 --> 01:25:51,689
- Oh, heck yeah.
- Simply the best.
1575
01:25:51,772 --> 01:25:53,357
- You?
- And that's what we're
1576
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,901
working for here at Jamboree:
to be clearly the best
1577
01:25:55,985 --> 01:25:58,487
and to clearly beat everyone else here,
1578
01:25:58,571 --> 01:26:00,322
and they did it, y'all.
1579
01:26:00,406 --> 01:26:03,951
Now, Mr. Persad, can you please record?
1580
01:26:07,288 --> 01:26:09,248
Can you give me a puff?
1581
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:16,839
So, who'll come up
for the statement?
1582
01:26:18,841 --> 01:26:21,302
Whenever you're ready.
1583
01:26:21,385 --> 01:26:25,264
Greetings from the children
of planet Earth.
1584
01:26:25,347 --> 01:26:27,641
I hope you kick everybody's ass
in law school.
1585
01:26:27,725 --> 01:26:29,894
The human race
is beautiful and peaceful...
1586
01:26:29,977 --> 01:26:31,979
Hmm. Sure.
1587
01:26:32,062 --> 01:26:33,606
You will, though.
1588
01:26:33,689 --> 01:26:36,275
...tells you who we were.
1589
01:26:36,358 --> 01:26:38,736
Don't take shit from anybody.
1590
01:26:43,699 --> 01:26:45,659
Thank you, Piper.
1591
01:26:45,743 --> 01:26:49,079
What a perfect representation
of a Birdie.
1592
01:26:49,163 --> 01:26:51,165
That just warms up my heart.
1593
01:26:51,248 --> 01:26:53,542
No, you can finish it.
1594
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:56,503
You always did.
1595
01:26:56,587 --> 01:26:58,297
...and raise our voices in song.
1596
01:26:58,380 --> 01:27:01,258
Let's do that Birdie anthem, y'all.
1597
01:27:01,342 --> 01:27:04,470
♪ We're good, we're kind ♪
1598
01:27:04,553 --> 01:27:07,765
♪ We're sweet to those we find ♪
1599
01:27:07,848 --> 01:27:10,017
♪ We're beautiful and loving ♪
1600
01:27:10,100 --> 01:27:13,437
♪ For the sake of all mankind ♪
1601
01:27:13,520 --> 01:27:16,607
♪ We pity the less lucky ones ♪
1602
01:27:16,690 --> 01:27:19,526
♪ The weak and the begrimed ♪
1603
01:27:19,610 --> 01:27:22,404
♪ Those that good fortune left behind ♪
1604
01:27:24,657 --> 01:27:27,326
♪ Be brave, be true ♪
1605
01:27:27,409 --> 01:27:29,495
♪ In everything you do... ♪
1606
01:27:31,538 --> 01:27:33,916
What it is, boss.
1607
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:36,669
I'm proud of you, Major Tom.
1608
01:27:43,926 --> 01:27:45,928
I miss Mama.
1609
01:27:49,348 --> 01:27:51,767
I know I'm not supposed to tell you that.
1610
01:27:53,477 --> 01:27:55,437
But I miss her.
1611
01:27:57,272 --> 01:28:00,109
Hey, um...
1612
01:28:00,192 --> 01:28:02,945
you can tell me anything.
1613
01:28:03,028 --> 01:28:05,906
Ain't nothing you can't tell the boss man.
1614
01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:13,163
I'd do anything if you could have her.
1615
01:28:16,125 --> 01:28:20,379
But it's... it's gonna have to
be just you and me, Christmas.
1616
01:28:22,548 --> 01:28:25,467
Just the way it's got to be, I guess.
1617
01:28:28,846 --> 01:28:30,639
I wish I, uh...
1618
01:28:30,723 --> 01:28:32,725
I wish I could be better.
1619
01:28:34,768 --> 01:28:36,520
Nah.
1620
01:28:38,605 --> 01:28:41,108
You and me...
1621
01:28:41,191 --> 01:28:42,693
we're solid gold.
1622
01:28:44,778 --> 01:28:46,822
We're the King of Beers.
1623
01:28:51,410 --> 01:28:53,871
King of Beers.
1624
01:28:55,789 --> 01:28:58,375
Mmm.
1625
01:28:59,585 --> 01:29:01,712
Solid gold.
1626
01:29:12,890 --> 01:29:14,224
♪ Deep down in Louisiana ♪
1627
01:29:14,308 --> 01:29:16,018
- ♪ Close to New Orleans ♪
- Ah, yeah!
1628
01:29:16,101 --> 01:29:18,228
♪ Way back up in the woods
Among the evergreens ♪
1629
01:29:18,312 --> 01:29:21,065
♪ There stood a log cabin
Made of earth and wood ♪
1630
01:29:21,148 --> 01:29:23,859
♪ Where lived a country boy
Named Johnny B. Goode... ♪
1631
01:29:23,942 --> 01:29:27,571
We didn't win,
but it don't matter none,
1632
01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:31,533
'cause Dwayne stole
the trophies from Troop Five.
1633
01:29:31,617 --> 01:29:33,327
♪ Go, Johnny, go, go ♪
1634
01:29:34,328 --> 01:29:36,330
♪ Go, Johnny, go, go ♪
1635
01:29:37,331 --> 01:29:38,624
♪ Go, Johnny, go, go ♪
1636
01:29:39,792 --> 01:29:41,794
♪ Go, Johnny, go, go ♪
1637
01:29:43,045 --> 01:29:44,505
♪ Johnny B. Goode... ♪
1638
01:29:44,588 --> 01:29:46,006
There!
1639
01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:49,051
Hot damn.
1640
01:29:50,469 --> 01:29:52,805
When all the signals
have been received,
1641
01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:54,515
maybe you will know about us.
1642
01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,643
Sound waves travel, right?
1643
01:29:59,311 --> 01:30:01,438
Think aliens have the same
petty standards that we do?
1644
01:30:01,522 --> 01:30:02,815
Hell no.
1645
01:30:02,898 --> 01:30:04,399
They gonna hear you.
1646
01:30:06,443 --> 01:30:07,903
They gonna hear you.
1647
01:30:10,697 --> 01:30:12,533
Go on.
1648
01:30:15,494 --> 01:30:17,079
I'm here.
1649
01:30:17,162 --> 01:30:19,331
- I'm here.
- I'm here.
1650
01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:21,166
Here I am.
1651
01:30:21,250 --> 01:30:22,835
I'm here.
1652
01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:25,712
Here I am.
1653
01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:39,351
I hope you always safe and warm
1654
01:30:39,434 --> 01:30:43,730
and dry and have foods always.
1655
01:30:43,814 --> 01:30:45,941
Nice, Hell-No.
1656
01:30:46,024 --> 01:30:47,818
I hope you have everything good,
1657
01:30:47,901 --> 01:30:50,612
in Christ Jesus' name.
1658
01:30:50,696 --> 01:30:53,157
I hope you have Gladys Knight
1659
01:30:53,240 --> 01:30:55,576
and Aretha Franklin and Freddie Mercury.
1660
01:31:06,128 --> 01:31:08,922
I hope you got Mama.
1661
01:31:09,006 --> 01:31:11,800
I hope you keep her safe.
1662
01:31:44,208 --> 01:31:45,834
Now on,
1663
01:31:45,918 --> 01:31:47,669
you gonna be permanent.
1664
01:31:47,753 --> 01:31:49,421
You already are.
1665
01:31:57,554 --> 01:32:00,515
I am here!
1666
01:32:00,599 --> 01:32:02,893
- I'm here!
- I'm here!
1667
01:32:06,146 --> 01:32:08,148
- Here I am!
- I'm here.
1668
01:32:08,232 --> 01:32:09,316
I'm here, too.
1669
01:32:09,399 --> 01:32:10,609
We're here!
1670
01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:12,611
- I'm here!
- I'm here.
1671
01:32:12,694 --> 01:32:14,029
We're here!
1672
01:32:14,112 --> 01:32:16,406
- We're here!
- We're here!
1673
01:32:33,423 --> 01:32:35,175
We got on that record,
1674
01:32:35,259 --> 01:32:37,594
so I know you're gonna hear me.
1675
01:32:40,389 --> 01:32:43,642
What I want to say is this:
1676
01:32:43,725 --> 01:32:46,144
I hope you got friends like mine.
1677
01:32:47,562 --> 01:32:50,399
Like Hell-No, Joseph,
1678
01:32:50,482 --> 01:32:53,694
little Smash, and my boo Anne-Claire.
1679
01:32:56,780 --> 01:33:00,492
I hope you see us
for all our bursting treasure.
1680
01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:02,744
Me and Miss Rayleen.
1681
01:33:02,828 --> 01:33:04,746
Boss man and Fluffy.
1682
01:33:04,830 --> 01:33:06,373
We'll be right here.
1683
01:33:08,375 --> 01:33:13,630
♪ There's a starman waiting in the sky ♪
1684
01:33:13,714 --> 01:33:16,091
♪ He'd like to come and meet us ♪
1685
01:33:16,174 --> 01:33:18,260
♪ But he thinks he'd blow our minds ♪
1686
01:33:18,343 --> 01:33:23,390
♪ There's a starman waiting in the sky ♪
1687
01:33:23,473 --> 01:33:25,726
♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪
1688
01:33:25,809 --> 01:33:27,978
♪ 'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile ♪
1689
01:33:28,061 --> 01:33:31,523
♪ He told me,
Let the children lose it ♪
1690
01:33:31,606 --> 01:33:33,984
♪ Let the children use it ♪
1691
01:33:34,067 --> 01:33:36,194
♪ Let all the children boogie ♪
1692
01:33:45,454 --> 01:33:48,415
♪ La, la, la, la-la ♪
1693
01:33:48,498 --> 01:33:53,045
♪ La, la, la-la,
La, la, la-la ♪
1694
01:33:53,128 --> 01:33:57,924
♪ La, la, la-la, la, la, la-la ♪
1695
01:33:58,008 --> 01:34:02,429
♪ La, la, la-la,
La, la, la-la ♪
1696
01:34:02,512 --> 01:34:07,100
♪ La, la, la-la, la, la, la-la ♪
1697
01:34:07,184 --> 01:34:12,022
♪ La, la, la-la,
La, la, la-la ♪
1698
01:34:12,105 --> 01:34:16,193
♪ La, la, la-la, la, la, la-la ♪
1699
01:34:16,276 --> 01:34:20,947
♪ La, la, la-la,
La, la, la-la ♪
1700
01:34:21,031 --> 01:34:25,577
♪ La, la, la-la, la, la, la-la ♪
1701
01:34:25,660 --> 01:34:30,123
♪ La, la, la-la,
La, la, la-la ♪
1702
01:34:30,207 --> 01:34:32,542
♪ La, la, la-la... ♪
1703
01:34:36,421 --> 01:34:40,133
Hello from
the children of planet Earth.
1704
01:35:37,274 --> 01:35:42,274
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