Original subtitles

- [ Rings] - Hello?

Well, there it is, Emily. The best of the lot.

Matter of fact, the best of three lots.

Bob! I know it's the day before Christmas and there wasn't a lotto choose from...

but isn't that really small?

Well, Emily, that's the kind of Christmas we decided on- real and small.

I mean, this scrawny, little tree cost me 12 bucks.

Couldn't you have spent 15 and gotten a big, scrawny one?

It was 15. I got him down to 12.

Bob, how could you barter this time of year?

- That's what the guy at the lot said. - [ Knocking]

Fa, la, la, la, la, everybody!

Merry Christmas. I, uh, got you your gift.

Oh, thank you, Howard. That's so sweet.

Yeah, you could put it under your tree when you get it.

We, uh- We got it, Howard.

Ah! There it is.

Yeah, it was nice of you to give a tree like that a home.

Well, w-we're scaling everything down this year.

You know, a little Christmas tree, quiet Christmas Eve, a few gifts.

That's really great, Bob. I mean, cutting down on your gifts, that's-

You don't have to give me anything just because I gave you something.

Oh, Howard, don't be silly.

- Merry Christmas, dear. - Thank you. Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Howard, aren't- aren't you gonna open it?

I'd rather wait. I, uh, have a hard time hiding my feelings.

I mean, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't want you to know. And, uh-

lfl liked it, I might get all misty and embarrass myself. I wouldn't wanna do that either.

I think I'll wait till I get to Copenhagen and open it then.

Nobody knows me there.

What, uh- What time does your flight leave, Howard?

Uh, 3:00. I'm on the polar route.

- Howard, want some pancakes? - Uh, no, thank you.

Uh, maybe I will have- have a few.

Oh. Okay.

Here you go.

Say when.

When.

- I guess I'd better make another batch. - No, that's plenty for me.

No, I meant for us, Howard.

- Not for me, Emily. I have to get going. - Oh.

Bob, are you going to work? It's, uh- It's past noon.

Yeah, I only have one appointment today. Then I'm coming home...

- and spending Christmas Eve alone with Emily. - Ah, all alone.

Gee, that's too bad. I-l wish I could spend it with you.

[Laughs] I don't think you understand, Howard.

We wanna be alone. I mean, Bob and I are gonna...

turn down the lights and cuddle up and-

I understand.

Honey, dinner'll be ready at 6:00.

And don't forget the gifts for the office.

- Oh, yeah. I'll be home. - Don't you have an office party?

Yeah, we do, Howard, but I'm not gonna stay long this year.

I never had an office party. I never had an office.

Just a cockpit. What's an office party like?

Well, around 2:00 it usually starts.

And then Carol says what a great guy I am.

Then about 2:05, somebody spikes the watercooler.

About 2:30, Carol tells me off.

Then sometime between 3:00 and 4:OO...

somebody asks for some free psychological advice.

Then around 4:00, all the ear, nose and throat men on the sixth floor...

come down and challenge us to an ice hockey game on the roof.

Then at 5:00, Tupperman starts reciting the Hippocratic oath...

whilejerry hums “AII I Want For Christmas ls My Two Front Teeth“ in the background.

We're getting crazier and crazier every year.

Honey, what time do you thinkyou'll be home?

Oh, I'll be home early, Emily.just as soon as I build a snowman in the elevator.

- Bob, merry Christmas! - Yeah, and happy New Year.

How's the weather outside?

Uh, brisk.

- You know what they oughta call this town? - What?

“The Windy City.“

Oh, Bob, did I ever tell you what a wonderful person you are.

It must be 2:05.

It's exactly 2:05.

Carol, what kind of coffee is this?

Irish.

Is it all right to drink from the watercooler?

Sure, if you like martinis.

I'll see you guys later. I've gotta get back to the salt mines.

Bye, Bern.

Oh, Carol, merry Christmas.

Wow, a bun warmer.

- Yeah, I- I hope you can use it. - 0/1, {sure can.

- Listen, is that one for me too? - No, that's forjerry.

- I drew his name out of the pool. - 0/1.

- Hi, Carol. Hi, Bob. - HLJerry.

Jerry, here's a Christmas present. I drew your name in the pool.

Oh, terrific. Wow. Ski mittens and goggles!

Terrific. I can really use these.

- Ah. Excuse me, Carol. - Oh, surely.

I drew your name too.

- It's really, uh, heavy. - Yeah. Open it up, Bob.

Just a little something for your office.

Here, Carol.

Jerry, I- I thought we were just getting, you know...

small, impersonal gifts, not something for the office.

Oh, Bob, it's not the gift. It's the thought behind the gift that counts.

And I really think a lot of you, Bob.

Oh, Mr. Peterson, hi.

Hi, Carol. Dr. Hartley.

- Santa. - Ho, ho, ho.

Mr. Peterson, go in the office. I'll be right in.

You want me to help you carry that stereo into the office?

No,jerry. I think- I thinkl can... manage.

- Okay. - Listen, about your gift-

I really love these mittens. They're terrific.

And the goggles, I even love them better. I mean, they'rejust what-

Tetzi, did you see what Bob gave me? Mittens and goggles!

Aren't they terrific?

Uh, thanks- thanks for the stereoJerry.

That's a really nice piece of equipment, Dr. Hartley.

Yeah, I have to get it hooked up.

Why don't you let me do it for you?

I was a demolitions expert in the marines.

No, I want it hooked up, not blown up.

Ah! [Laughs]

That was a good one, Dr. Hartley.

Well, you're-you're certainly in a good mood this Christmas, Mr. Peterson.

Yeah. Doris and I are actually looking forward to Christmas this year.

Well, that's a remarkable adjustment for you.

I remember when you first came here, you weren't looking forward to Christmas or Doris...

or much of anything else.

That's right. I was just a mass of fears.

I was afraid of my wife. I was afraid of growing old.

I was afraid of geese.

If I remember correctly, you were afraid to get in your car.

Well, that was during that period when I was afraid of upholstery.

But, uh"...

all those fears seem so silly now.

Yeah, well, I'm glad you feel that way, Mr. Peterson...

because I'd like to give you my gift.

My gift is you don't have to come here anymore.

Y-You're free go out and face your own problems without me.

What do you think, Mr. Peterson?

Are you out of your mind? I mean, look at me!

Do I look like I'm ready to go out there without help?

Well, it-it's natural to feel that way...

but I think after a few days, if you think about it, you'll be very proud...

and you'll realize that I've taken you as far as you could go.

Trust me, Mr. Peterson. I'm really very confident about this.

- Y-You mean the session is over? - Well, there is no session.

- You don't need one. - What am I gonna do for the next hour?

- Well, you could go Christmas shopping. - Okay.

I guess that's what I'll do then.

And, in the future, ifany problems come up, feel free to stop by.

Just think of this as a sort of 2,000-mile checkup.

- Hi, Bob. - What's, uh- What's going omjerry?

Stevie Seldin'sjust hanging up the mistletoe.

How about a little kiss?

Okay.

Well, uh, thanks for everything, Dr. Hartley.

And say good-bye to the group for me.

Same time next week, Mr. Peterson?

Oh. I guess you didn't hear the good news, Carol.

Dr. Hartley says I don't have to come here anymore.

Oh, Mr. Peterson, how nice!

I bet you're so thrilled.

Yeah, I am. I'm as happy as a clam.

Okay, brush up and down, and try to stay away from candy over the holidays.

Okay, I will.

Merry Christmas, Emily.

Oh, merry Christmas, Bob.

Oh, honey, it's perfect. The place looks terrific.

I just can't believe it. I mean, we're finally gonna spend a Christmas Eve alone.

Did you have trouble getting away?

No. I just snuck down the stairs during the elevator races.

- [ Laughs] - How's the, uh- How's the goose?

Oh, you wanna come in the kitchen and take a gander?

You want a drink before dinner?

That would be great. You know what I'd love on a night like tonight?

I would love hot buttered rum.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

We don't have any butter, and I'm all out of rum.

Oh, that's all right. I'll have a glass of...

hot margarine.

- [ Phone Ringing] - I'll get it.

Hello? Carol?

Carol, I- I can hardly hearyou.

Yeah, th-there's an echo.

You have a wastepaper basket over your head.

And a melody in your heart. [Chuckles]

Uh, Carol, can you give me any further party bulletins on next Wednesday?

I'm just about to celebrate Christmas Eve.

Well, then- then what are you calling about?

Carol, how many cups of coffee have you had? Yeah.

Mr. Peterson left. I put him in the elevator myself.

Oh. Oh, Mr. Peterson, I thought you had left.

Look, uh, Mr. Peterson, it's Christmas Eve.

L-I really thinkyou oughta get in your car and drive home.

No, I'm positive, Mr. Peterson. There are no geese in your car.

I'll be, uh- I'll be right down.

Emily, I'm- I'm sorry. I really sorry.

I feel terrible about this, but I-

I have to go down to the office, and I'll- Well, I'll be back as soon as I can.

It's all right, Bob. I understand. You have a patient who's in trouble.

He's gotta come first. Why wouldn't I understand?

Well, I'm just not sure you understand.

Oh, Bob, I understood last Christmas when this happened to us.

And two years ago on our anniversary when this happened to us.

And on my birthday two years ago, I understood.

And the birthday before that I understood.

Well, I just sense a certain hostility.

What makes you say that?

Well, because the veins in your neck are standing out and your fists are clenched.

Well, I wouldn't call it hostility. I mean, I'm-

I'm disappointed, I'm upset, I'm frustrated, and I'm hungry!

Well, with all that, you don't need hostility.

Well, I'll try to be back about 9:00.

Bob...

here's a little incentive.

Maybe I'll... hang around forawhile.

Go.

Hey, Bob, did you bring any ice back with you?

Just scrape some off my coatjerry.

How's the visibility out there?

Well, it's hard to tell. You can't see anything.

It's snowing like mad, and lights are dimming all over town.

Ah, that'll give us a great excuse to stay in longer.

Oh, Bob, I'm so glad to see you.

- Is, uh, Mr. Peterson all right? - Yes, I've been giving him lots of coffee.

- Oh, no, Carol. - Cofiee coffee, Bob.

Oh, good, Carol. Bring me some coffee coffee.

Fine fine.

- A-Are you all right, Mr. Peterson? - [Shouting] Oh, Dr. Hartley!

I'm really glad you came back!

Uh, what happened? Why are you here, Mr. Peterson?

Because I belong here, Dr. Hartley.

Well, what, uh-

What happened to the talk we had this afternoon?

Well, I thought about that, Dr. Hartley.

Now, you know I've been down the Colorado River on a raft.

And I've hunted wild boar in darkest Africa.

But the thought of- of being out there alone...

without you to help me with my problems-

Well, it- it just terrifies me.

I mean, you just sent me out there into that horde of last-minute Christmas shoppers...

and as I was standing in the gift wrap line in Newdell's Department Store...

I got a terrible anxiety attack.

Well, Christmas will be over soon, a-and the crowds will be gone.

Yeah, but then I'll be in the crowd at the return window.

I know Doris will hate the present I got her.

- Well, what- What did you get her? - Well, I didn't know her size...

so I got her a stretch dress.

It certainly sounds like a nice... fit.

I don't know if it'll stretch that far. It comes in a little egg.

Dr, Hartley, I'm not ready to go it alone.

- Please don't make me leave. - Well, I can't make you leave.

L- I thought you were ready to leave, but, uh...

apparently you don't, and if you don't, then you aren't.

- You mean, I'm really not well-adjusted? - I guess not.

Then I'm not normal after all?

Dr. Hartley, you've made me the happiest man in the world.

Mn Peterson] Hit the deck!

[Bob] It's all right, It's all right, Mr. Peterson.

It's- It's just a power failure, All right, now relax.

The lights'll be on any minute.

Do- Do you read me, Mr. Peterson?

Carol, what happened to Mr. Peterson?

I'm right here, Dr. Hartley.

Oh, Mr. Peterson, what's the matter?

- Areyou all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- Ah! - Now, don't worry about a thing.

There's an emergency generator downstairs.

The only thing it's hooked up to is the air-conditioning.

- So either way, we're gonna freeze. - Don't worry.

We'll plug in my bun warmer.

Boy, am I late. lfl don't get home soon, Doris'll really be in a snit.

I can identify with that. Look, it- it's only-

It's only 8:15. lfwe hurry, we'll be home by 9:00. I'll- I'll driveyou home.

[Crowd Gasps]

There's no sense in waiting for the elevator, Bob.

It's- It's dead. It's laying in the basement.

And there's no sense in trying to get home either.

We're stuck. Boy, we got ourselves some blizzard.

Okay, okay. Looks like we're gonna be here for a while.

We might as well make the best of it. To help you make the best of it...

the seventh floor of the Rimpau Medical Arts Building takes pride and pleasure...

in presenting the harmonious holiday song stylings of...

thejerry Robinson trio.

♪♪ [ Caroling]

[Bob] I get the feeling we're on the fitanic.

g,' [ Stereo: "The Twelve Days of Christmas ” ]

♪♪ [ Continues]

♪♪ [ Stops]

[Ringing]

Bob? Bob, are you all right?

- Yes, Emily, I'm all right. - I mean, I'm waiting here...

not knowing whether to be mad or worried about you.

Well, I'm- I'm all right, Emily.

Oh, good. Then I'm mad.

Well, Emily. I couldn't help it.

L-I've been trying to reach you for over an hour, but I couldn't get through.

I mean, the whole city's tied up in knots.

Th-There's been a power failure.

How's, uh- How's everything there?

Oh, perfect. I mean,just perfect.

Instead of sitting here with my husband on Christmas Eve...

I'm sitting here with a dried-out goose.

I keep putting it in the oven and taking it out of the oven, putting it in, taking it out.

I mean, it's been in and out so many times, Bob, it's shrinking.

If-If you don't get home soon, it's gonna be a hummingbird.

Emily, I'm- I'm cold, a-and I'm starved, and I'll be home as soon as I can.

I still have my hat on, Emily.

Oh, honey. I wish you were here.

Well, I do too. But at least we can talk to each other on the phone.

- At least the phone lines haven't- haven't- Emily? - [ Crackles]

_ Bob? _ Emily?

_ ' Bob? Emily? Emily?

Bob! Bob.

Okay, sweetheart, let's go.

Emily, I'm home.

Oh, Bob.

Bob.

Bob-

You're frozen stiff. Where have you been?

Outdoors, mainly.

Well, what happened to your hat?

It blew off.

I think it broke- broke a plate glass window.

Honey, l-let me get your coat off and then you can...

sit down and tell me what happened.

Well, I used a-

I used a candle to get a flashlight.

Then I used the flashlight to get downstairs to my car.

Then I used my car to get stuck in the snow.

Then I used Mr. Peterson to push the car.

Then I pushed Mr. Peterson into a cab...

in the middle of the worst snowstorm in the city's history...

and told him there was nothing to be afraid of.

Even I didn't believe that.

And by that time, my battery was dead...

so I walked back three blocks to the office...

and I borrowedjerrys jumper cables...

and then walked back to where the car used to be...

but now there was just a snowdrift with a ticket in it.

And then I- then I finally got in a cab...

and he took me home.

And his home is only four miles from here.

Oh, Bob, don't tell me you walked four miles in a blizzard!

Oh, honey. Why don't you just curl up in front of that candle...

and I'll make us a pot of hot tea.

No, I have- I have a better idea.

I'm gonna take a- a hot shower...

and put on my robe and then-

then I'll feel better.

And then we'll, uh- We'll open our gifts and we'll-

We'll celebrate Christmas Eve better late than never.

- [Knocking] - Oh, no.

Sounds like Howard's knock. His flight must have been canceled.

Emily, I-l know this is Christmas Eve, and you know I love Howard...

but I've gone through too much to share this with- with anybody but you.

- [Knocking] - All right, Bob...

but just do it gently, huh?

- Merry Christmas, everybody! - Oh, Howard, what a surprise.

- Yeah. I'm back. I brought some champagne from the airplane. - Thank you, Howard.

Yeah, the closest I got to Copenhagen was the north end of the runway.

Well, I'm, uh, home for the holidays.

Howard, before you sit down-

- sit down. - Sure, Bob.

Howard, we've been, uh-

- We've been friends for a long time, right? - Yeah, we sure have, Bob.

And you've- you've always been welcome in my house.

Bob, I mean, you've been great.

Whenever I'm feeling down or low or-

Even when I'm feeling up- I mean, I can always come over here to talk.

You know, tonight's no exception.

There's nothing I'd rather do then spend what's left of Christmas Eve with my-

Well, with my two dearest friends, Bob and Emily Hartley.

Uh, Howard-

But I just can't do it tonight.

I have a guest, and she doesn't want to share the evening with people she doesn't know.

And that's all there is to it.

I hope you don't take this personal, Bob...

but just thanks for being so understanding.

I hope I wasn't too harsh.

Bob, let's open our presents.

I can't wait anymore.

Let's see. Mine sounds like...

a beautiful hand-engraved Indian necklace made of silver and turquoise.

You opened it.

Four times.

You still, uh- still like it?

Oh, Bob-

Bob, I love it...

and I love you.

Well, I love you too.

Honey, uh-

Why don't I open Howard's champagne now...

and you can open your gift and, uh-

and we'll see what happens, huh?

I, uh- I really- I really hope you like what I got you.

Well, I'm sure I will, Emily.

Now, Bob, it's not clothes, so don't get your hopes up.

I mean, 'cause it's not a sweater.

And I know you've been hinting around about that electric drill...

but it's not that either.

And, well, you know that chess set you've been admiring?

Well, it's not that either.

And- And it's not a briefcase.

Of course it couldn't be a briefcase- the package isn't large enough.

And, uh, it-it's not a tennis racket either.

Now, I'm really sorry I got mad.

I mean, it's not your fault you got stuck at the office, you know.

I mean, really, the only important thing...

is that we're...

together.

Merry Christmas, Bob.

We'll get 'em next year.

[ Mews]