Original subtitles

- [ Rings] - Hello?

- You're right. I'll change. - No, no, honey.

No. I was laughing because you look so, uh-

so cute.

Yeah, I know. That's why this has been hanging in the closet for- for two years.

- Some guys can wear cute. I can't. - Ah, sure you can.

Come here, you cute little thing.

Bob, what's that smell?

It's, uh, cologne. I got a free sample with my shaving cream.

Oh. You used the whole bottle?

Well, I didn't mean to, but it was a little bottle, and I figured it had a little hole...

- but, uh, it had a big hole. - Oh.

Ilikeit.

“Shanghai Musk.“

Gee, Bob.

With your happi coat and Shanghai Musk, what'd you have in mind?

I thought I might watch kung fu.

- {insistent Knocking] - [Man ] All right. Open in there.

It's the police. This is a bust.

Uh,just a minute.

- We haven't done anything. - [Man] G000'. Then open up and let me see my daughter.

Oh, my gosh, Bob! It's Daddy!

[Both Screaming]

- Oh, Daddy! Oh! - Oh, it's so wonderful to see you!

- I can't believe it. - Here. Let me makeyour eyes bug a little.

Oh, Daddy! Oh, what are you doing here?

- You should be in Seattle. - So should you. it's just not the same without you.

- Oh! - [ Mother] Oh!

Isn't this wonderful? It's like old times-just the three of us.

Oh, Mother.

- Hey, Bob. - Bob, hello.

Hiya.

Bob, when you say “Hiya“ in that robe, you should be breakin' a brick.

Oh, yeah. The robe. I forgot. Let me get out of this silly thing.

Oh, no, don't! It looks wonderful.

Leave it on. Oh, you look so- so-

- Cute. - Right.

Look, sit down and relax. I'll go put on some coffee.

Here's something that should go with it.

Oh, I bet I know what this is.

Do you think it's blueberry cheesecake just because it's your favorite?

- Yes, I do. - Right.

- I knew it. Thank you! - Your mom wanted me to buya real big one...

- so she could pop out of it. -junior!

- Oh, Daddy, you're terrible! - Well, how, uh- how/ong are you gonna stay?

- Oh,just a few days, I'm afraid. - That's too bad.

- I wish you could stay longer. - Okay. Fine. We'll stay for a year.

I don't care how long you're staying, but you're gonna stay here with us.

- Oh, no, darling. We couldn't do that. - Well, of course you can.

You'll sleep in our bed. We have plenty of room, and Bob doesn't mind, do you, dear?

No.

There's nobody sleeping in your bed but you and Bob.

- Besides, we've already checked into a hotel. - Oh, good.

I mean, uh- I mean, that's a good hotel.

What's the name of the hotel?

This is so like you, Daddy, tojust surprise us.

- Honey, would you open these? - Yeah.

So what brings you to Chicago, Mr. Harrison?

Come on, Bob. First names.

Of course you're right. lt'sjust I find it awfully difficult...

to call my father-in-law “junior?

- Atta boy. - [Emily] Honey you want some cheesecake?

Yeah. Please.

Bob, if you don't want any of those nuts, I'll take some.

Oh, no. I'll just run it under some hot water.

It's vacuum packed, and it's almost impossible to open.

Let me try.

Well, uh,you did the preliminaries, Bob.

Speaking of nuts, how's everything going in your line of work?

- [Knocking] - I'll, uh-l'll get that.

- [Emily] Daddy, you haven't changed a bit. - [junior] I was just kidding.

Hi, Bob.

Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?

- No, no, Howard. Come on in. I want you to meet my folks. - Oh, great.

This is my mom and dad, the Harrisons. Howard Borden, our friend and next-door neighbor.

- Hello. - Mrs. Harrison. Mr. Harrison.

- Call mejunior. -junior?

Junior. I love it when grown-up men have baby names.

That's great. My uncle's 75, and they call him Skippy.

You must be a navigator, huh, Howard?

Gee, how'd you know that? Most people think I'm a pilot.

Well, for one thing, you're sober.

- Junior was a 8-17 belly gunner, wasn't he? - Wow.

Those must've been great clays. Yak-yak-yak and bombs away...

and dogfights and Messerschmitts at 12:00 high.

- You know, Bob was in Korea. - Oh, uh, did you fly, Bob?

- No. We, uh- We took the boat. - Thanks.

They say if you've got the time, that's the way to go.

Emily, do you remember whenjunior came home from the war?

All I remember is being happy and everybody singing.

Oh,junior still loves to sing.

♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom I get so lonely when I dream about you ♪

[All ] ♪ Can't do without you That's why I dream about you ♪

- Excuse me, Bob. - ♪ lfl could only put my arms around you ♪

- ♪ Life would be so fair; - Come on, Bob. The more, the merrier.

- ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ - ♪ I get so lonely;

- JWhen I dream about you ♪ [ indistinct] - ♪ I get so lonely when I-J

;That's why I dream about you ♪

- J Live without you J - J lfl could only put my arms around you J

-; Boom, boom, I-J - ♪ Life would be so fairg';

Bob, do you think one sweater'll be warm enough? Maybe I'd better take two, huh?

Emily, if you're going horseback riding by the lake at 6:30 in the morning...

the only thing that's gonna keep you warm is if the horse is on fire.

You know, Bob...

Daddy and I used to go horseback riding every morning in Seattle...

sometimes even in the snow.

Emily, how come you never mentioned you liked horseback riding?

Well, I kind of put it aside when we got married, you know, you being afraid of horses.

Wait a minutejust because we've never gone riding doesn't mean I'm afraid of horses.

Bob, we did go once. Do you remember?

Yeah, well, that horse did keep snorting at me.

Bob...

do you have anything on your mind?

You know, you were awfully quiet tonight.

No, I wasn't quiet. It was just kind of tough getting a word in with everyone talking.

Well,you know how it is with my family. You gottajustjump right in there.

Yeah, welLjumping in is kind of a hard thing for me, you know.

I've always been taught that you don't interrupt someone as long as they're talking-

- Oh, honey, come on. - till they're finished talking.

- See what I mean? - I'm sorry. lt'sjust the way my family is.

Well, honey, your family is more outgoing than mine.

I remember when my dad came home from the war, and my mom met him at the door...

and shook his hand and said, “Welcome home, Herb...

and thanks for a job well done.“

I mean, it isn't that I don't like your parents. You know, I really do.

- Aw, you don't mind all the kidding around? - No.

I know your dad has a sense of humor, and I enjoy it.

Aw. Good. Well, 6:30 comes awfully early.

- Good night. - Good night, honey.

' Emily? _ Mm?

Your dad was kidding about staying for a year, wasn't he?

He's a terrific guy,jerry, you know. He's very interesting.

He's an outdoorsman, but still with kind of a sophistication, you know?

He knows the right wine for every occasion.

He knows every occasion, pays for every occasion.

He's got a great sense of humor. He's a war hero. He was a great athlete.

- I could go on and on,jer. - You already have, Bob.

He sounds like the greatest guy in the world, so what's wrong?

When he's around, Emily's whole personality changes, you know?

She's much happier, much brighter, more full of fun than when we're alone together.

I used to know a guy just like that in dental school. Matt Phillips.

When that guy walked into a room, I disappeared... without leaving.

- That really gave me a complex. - How'd you deal with itjerry?

Well, I dealt with it in the most mature way I could: I tied knots in his dental floss.

I mean, I feel like a visitor in my own hometown.

He showed me parts of Chicago I didn't even know existed.

I mean, there's only one place I can think of that I could take him that would impress him.

Well, that's it then, Bob. You take him there.

Well, it's gonna involve a great deal of sacrifice on your parLjerry.

Oh, Bob, you know I'd do anything in the world for you.

Jerry, sell me your two tickets for the Bears-49er game Sunday.

- Except that. - [Knocking]

Oh, hLJer. Bob, Emily and your father-in-law are here.

They're in your office. Boy, thatjunior is really the most terrific guy I ever met.

He's a terrific guy, Bob. Did you know that?

- I know that, Carol. - Ah.

- I'll be there in a minute. - Okay.

Okay, Bob. You've got the tickets.

- Thankyoujerry. How much you want? - You can't put a value on these.

- This is the big game. These are priceless. - How muchjerry?

Fifteen bucks.

- [Emily] Nice 0fi7ce, isn't it, Daddy? - Yeah. Very nice.

- It's not depressing at all. - fBobjH/Z

- Uh,junior Harrison, this isjerry Robinson. - HiyaJerry.

- Hi,junior. - Emily tells me you're an orthodontist.

That's right. I catch 'em when they're young.

I guess I was lucky. I never had any cavities.

Yeah. I mighfve guessed that.

You've met- You've met Carol?

- Ohh. - Oh, sure. Carol and I are old friends.

You know, her father runs a lumberyard in Collinsville...

and carries the same line of bench vises that we do.

Really? Carol never mentioned that.

I haven't mentioned a lot of my vices, Bob.

That's funny. Great sense of humor.

- Give her a raise, Bob. - Yeah. Give her a raise, Bob.

Yeah. Great sense of humor.

- Where's Aggie? - Mother's shopping, sol thought I'd take Daddy by...

and show him your office before we met her for lunch.

Yeah. I saw the inner sanctum there, where all the deep, psychological probing goes on.

- Daddy, it's not that deep. - No, not really. They'rejust normal people...

-with normal problems. - [ Elevator Bell Dings]

Oh, hi, Dr. Hartley. Want me to wait in the elevator?

Uh, Michelle, I thought we changed your appointment till tomorrow.

- No. No, you didn't. - Yes, I did, Michelle.

- I called and left a message with your father. - Oh, no wonder.

My father never gives me my messages. He never gives me affection...

the time of clay, nothing.

He's not a giving person. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Well, uh, I'm new here.

- Michelle, why don't we talk about that tomorrow? - Sure, sure. Tomorrow.

That's easy for you to say, but I gotta go back and live with him today.

All right, Michelle. Go in my office. I'll be with you in a minute.

- Thank you. - It's 12:30. I'm starved.

- Come on, everybody. I'll buy ya lunch. - Hey, great.

- You too, Carol. - Bob, do you want us to wait for you?

- Uh, no. You'd better go on ahead. - Hey, Bob...

aren't you gonna telljunior about the tickets, you know?

- Oh- Oh, yeah. - Oh, tickets. That reminds me.

I called an old friend in Chicago to see if he could scrounge up a couple tickets...

for the football game Sunday, but he couldn't get me any.

- Good. - But he did get me George Halas's box.

Yeah. George Halas is the owner of the Bears.

-I know. I know. - I expect you to comeJerry, and you too, Carol.

There's room for all of us.

Uh, honey, what were you gonna tell Daddy about tickets?

- Tickets? - Uh-huh.

Oh- Oh, yeah. Tickets. I just wanted to say that I validate...

if you have any- [Clears Throat]

Any parking tickets.

Forget it, Bob. It's on me.

Trying to barbecue in Chicago isn't easy. The wind keeps blowing out there.

You flip a hamburger and miss, you can give someone a meat concussion.

Say, maybe we oughta put on an extra hamburger for Bob.

Oh, no, no. He'll get something at work. He's got group tonight. He'll be home late.

Boy, Bob sure keeps late hours. It's like bein' married to a doctor.

Daddy, Bob is a doctor.

I mean a real doctor, you know, a body doctor.

Junior, please. You know what Bob does.

And Emily knew what she was getting into when she married Bob.

Obviously they're very happy and very much in love.

You are happy, aren't you, Emily?

Well, I was just checking. It's hard to tell with you.

Even as a child, you never complained.

You even used to smackyour lips when we gave you cod liver oil.

Oh, Mother, I was not smacking my lips. I was gasping.

Besides, Bob isn't cod liver oil. I've got nothing to complain about.

Of course you haven't. Bob's kind of a quiet guy.

He's probably just like that around us.

No, Daddy. He's that way all the time.

- Well, uh, I- Mother? - Uh, look, you two.

Now, we don't get to talk very often, so why don't we sit down...

and I'll answer all those questions you've been storing up.

- Come on. - What questions?

You know. The ones about Bob and our marriage.

Oh, uh, those questions.

Yeah, well, first of all...

after fouryears of marriage, I'm more in love with Bob than ever.

Second, I'm working because I want to, not because he can't support us.

Emily, darling, you don't have to explain this to us.

Aggie, she wants to.

And, third, we want children; we'rejust not rushing to have them.

- Well, uh, when do you think you might start rushing? -junior!

Well, I sure could use someone to take the business over someday-

you know, a grandson to fish and hunt and arm wrestle with.

- Darling. - You know, a grandson...

like-like Emily.

Like me? [Growls, Yelps]

Oh, Daddy! Why don't you ever let me win?

Bob, I made your reservations at the Emerald Room tonight.

That really oughta impress your father-in-law.

- Well, I'm not taking him there to impress him. - Oh, Bob.

The Emerald Room is last year's restaurant. If you wanna takejunior...

to someplace that'll really impress him in Chicago, it's gotta be the Top of the Pyle.

I've heard of that place, Bob.

It's on top of the Pyle Insurance Building.

Right on. Top. Sixty-six floors up.

- Well, I- I don't care, as long as it's impressive. - Oh, it's really impressive.

You know how in most restaurants, they call the maTtre d' “Captain“?

This place, they call him “Colonel?

- That's fine, as long as I get the check. - Oh, you'll get the check.

But before you read it, take your napkin, wad it up into a ball and bite down on it.

- That'll kind of muffle the scream. - [Carol Laughs]

- Carol? - Right, Bob. Top of the Pyle.

Oh, you're really gonna love that restaurant, Bob. The whole place spins around.

Carol, get table number 12. Less vibration from the motor.

- Go ahead, Carol. - Oh, Bob, one last tip.

If you have to go to the men's room, make sure you know...

what everybody at your table is wearing, because when you get back, they won't be there.

Dr. Hartley, I have bad news. We've had a breakdown, and we're not rotating right now.

Oh, fine. The important thing is that...

I get the check.

Certainly, sir. I'll tellyour captain.

Thank you very much, Colonel.

I'll have your drinks brought from the bar. Follow me, sir.

- George, I have this table for Dr. Hartley. - But I have it for Mr. Devereaux.

Milt, let's let them take it. We've had table 12 before.

First the floor doesn't rotate, now this. This place is goin' downhill.

Please.

Signore.

Thank you very much. We appreciate that. My in-laws live in Seattle.

Wish mine did.

- Terrific place, Bob. -just lovely.

[Waiter Speaking Italian]

- Oh, uh, Captain? - Yes, sir?

- Uh, make sure I get the check. - Thank you, sir.

Oh, here comes our drinks. just put those on our dinner check...

and make sure I get the check.

- [ High-pitched Yelp] - Isn't it cute, honey?

- Look. All the prices are in lira. - Thank God.

- You remember the last time we were in Italy? - Yeah.

- Wasn't it 500 lira to a dollar? - That's right. 500.

500 to a dollar.

Well,just order anything you want. Order everything.

- I'll just have the chicken. - Well, why don't you have the steak and lobster?

- That's what I'm gonna have. - Would you like to order now, or would you like to wait?

Pardon me. By any chance, are you from Naples?

- Yes, I am. - I thought so, Aggiejust like Matteo at home.

- That's who it is. - What do you recommend?

A little veal piccata and some zucchini é la “Napolitana? Perfect.

- Great. That's what I'll have. - [ Emily] I'll have that too.

- [ Aggie ] just make that three. - Yes, madame. And the same for you, sir?

- No. I think I'll stay with the steak and the lobster. - Fine.

Three be/la di la 6.25.2 and one surf and turf.

Mm. This dessert is delicious, Alfredo.

- What did you say it was called? - Zabaglione.

- Is it as you remember it,junior? - Perfetto.

And how was your apple pie, sir?

- Good. Real good. - Thank you, sir.

Mother, do you- Will you excuse us?

Daddy, you might as well take the last bite of my dessert...

'cause I know you're gonna snitch it anyhow.

- Bob, do you mind if I smoke? - No. Not at all.

- How'd you enjoyyour dinner? - Very much. This is a great place, Bob.

Uh, Bob, I think we should have a talk.

Well, I thinkyou're right. It's something you and I haven't done.

Somethings bothering me, and I hope you don't take this personally, but it's you.

Well, I'll try not to take it personally. What's- What's my problem?

Well, Bob, I thinkl have been a pretty darn good father.

I must've clone something right to raise a daughter like Emily.

I thinkyou've done an excellentjob.

When she was a little girl, she really looked up to me.

One day, when I was building the cabin out at the lake...

she turned to me and said, “Daddy, you're so strong and funny...

“and you can fish, and you can hunt, and you can build a cabin.

You know how to do everything. Someday I'm gonna marry a manjust like you.”

Well, she married a man like you, Bob.

Where did I go wrong?

I can fish.

You must be able to do a lot of other things, because it's very obvious...

that she loves you more than anything else in the whole world.

To tell you the truth, Bob- This is very hard for me to say...

but I'm a little envious of you.

- You're envious of me? - Yeah.

Well, that's funny, because I've been feeling the same thing all week toward you.

You know, I've been trying to, well, impress you.

Really? HOW?

- A lot of different ways. - I hadn't noticed.

I guess I haven't been fair to you at all, Bob.

You see, I've been trying to impress everybody myself.

From now on, why don't we stop tryin' to impress each other and start being ourselves?

- That's a great idea. - Wait a minute. I'll get that.

- [ Bob] No. No, no, no, no. - No, no. Please, I insist. Let me.

- Absolutely- - Look, I gotta treat tonight.

- Absolutely not. - [ Grumbles]

But, sir, about the other gentleman-

Well,just forget about the other gentleman. I'm taking care of that.

Uh-

- Thank you very much, sir. - That's- That'll take care of the bill...

and then the rest is for you.

- Thank you again. Grazia. - We're ready if you boys are.

- Well, we're ready. The bill's all taken care of. - Yeah. Bob picked up the check.

- Honey, he's a terrific guy. - Yes, I know, Daddy.

Excuse me. I really wanna thank you for paying our check.

You didn't have to do that.

Very generous. What a fantastic guy.

And this is your check, Dr. Hartley.

Emily, I want you to know that was one of the nicest evenings of my life.

Oh, good, honey. Mother and Dad really enjoyed it too.

It was also one of the most expensive.

I was wondering how much it came to since there were no dollars on the menu.

There were plenty of them on the bill.

L HGVGI' 38W SO many numbers.

- There were three of'em before you got to the decimal point. - Oh, no.

That didn't even include Milt's table.

You know, it was worth it though. I really got close to your family-

on the ride home, with all the singing.

You know, I think I finally learned the words to that song.

♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom I get so lonely when I dream of you ♪

Uh, Bob, you know, I've heard that song all my life.

- Yeah. - And I just hate it.

I do too.

♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪

[ Both] ♪ I get so lonely when I dream about you ♪

[ Mews]